this is happening right now. quickly watched the speeches by Muh Woes, RZP, and Fat Forney. Woes was great and looked 600000 times more presentable than at NPI. he lost weight and was wearing a Dress Shirt and had a great speech where he mentioned the 14 words several times. MUH N1GG4.
RZP had a good speech where he showed himself to be very J aware and well read, though still maintaining his sense of humor. I just dont like 4 minute videos that are more jokes than substance. but he seems to be moving away from that. i resubbed to his channel after watching hahahaha.
Forney surprised me and had a great speech, getting passionate at times. he def gets mocked and and bullied by TRS but I thought his speech was really good. he mentioned his progression into becoming more pro-white than he was in the mala fide days (and I enjoyed IMF back in the day.) at this rate he is not far from potentially disavowing the more degenerate of his older books. still needs to lose weight though. maybe then a black suit would look better. but i am damn tempted to reinstate muh patreon dnation to him after this one. good job forney. give him a little credit on this.
oh god bless you george, i think he is making a breakthrough right now, at long last. he is developing a real sense of humor and confidence.
this is the video he’s referring to which he dd just previously.
I was moved to send him what I thought was a friendly and supporting message to encourage him on what seems to be a really positive turn for george. i really want to see him succeed because me and him are very very much alike, have fought with very very similar issues.
i think this is the correct song order.
saturday “morning”, the time is right for this maiden LIVE album. 1984 ish, the height of their game. regretting more and more not seeing them live on book of souls tour. hope there is a next time, maiden is now officially on The Concert Bucket List. Period.
one of my serious worries is that i will hurt people rather than help them, when I am coming at them with 6000000000% Good Faith and Will to help them. I want to help neets and losers and people like me and George. I very rarely reach out and communicate with these people. When I do, it’s only out of the will to support and encourage and help them. I would be absolutely devastated if my efforts had a NEGATIVE effect on them. I HATE being a BAD INFLUENCE on people, in short, because that’s the last thing I want to be. I want to be a GOOD influence on them.
but it’s hard because of my own issues, I CAN potentially be a negative influence on people without even trying, certainly without wanting. It DEVASTATED me to think i was a negative influence on That Woman and made her life worse, when she was a good influence on me and made my life better. I wanted to do the same thing to her.
thank GOD I am over that, but the same sentiment applies to anyone I know in real life. my few friends and acquaintances. i dont want to be a Toxic Person that they are better off cutting me out of their lives. and especially when I make an effort to be a supportive and friendly. I don’t want them to say, welp he means well but he’s just not good enough.
possibly even worse is if they DO take my input seriously, but then misunderstand it, misinterpret it, and do bad things. thankfully i dont really have any examples of that.
something in Woes’s video on milo, he had a tangent that mentioned that some men might want to be mentors and helpers to younger people. help and guide and improve them. But maybe the mentor is in such a shitty state that even though he WANTS to help, it would STILL be a BAD idea for the “mentee” to listen to them. meaning its BEST for you to NOT EVEN TRY TO HELP people, because when you TRY to HELP people, you just end up HURTING them. as someone who WANTS TO HELP people, this worry is very very very troubling indeed. which is prob why i don’t Reach Out to people who need help. and why I consciously distance myself from communicating directly with the intended audience of this blog – hwyte men who NEED HELP.
but also even more of a priority than helping others is helping MYSELF first. doctor cure thyself first hahahaha. but at the same time, i DO totally see myself as POTENTIALLY being helpful to others in similar positions, even though I’m not a full blown winner yet, and probably wont be until I am 50, if ever.
but I don’t want to totally BAN myself from EVEN TRYING TO HELP people. if the opportunity is there, I want to be able to do it, and actually succeed.
again, not a HUGE worry because it actually hasn’t happened. The closest thing i’ve actually experienced is having friends I really liked and respected, and wanting to improve their lives the way that they improved mine……and failing, because ultimately I wasn’t a “good fit” with them. like with That Woman.
or, 10 years ago, I was a total degenerate, drinking and MJ’ing and being a total punk loser, but I STILL had good friends. good, positive people. but I was the bad boy. they might have joked that I was a bad influence on them, corrupting the youth, turning younger kids into MJ heads or cynical nihilists. I knew they were partially joking, but I always worried about the kernel of truth there. I mean they didn’t Reject me and say get away from me you loser, so I realize I was probably more of a good influence than a bad influence. but even just the idea that I could be a bad influence at all. that really sits badly with me and is prob one of the more effective motivators to improve myself. but god damn that has been a long, long, long, slow baby steps struggle lasting well over 10 years and will prob last 20 years at least. bringing me WELL into the second half of my LIFE, which I am close to entering right now. god damn.
like it felt really good to Communicate with George just as he seems to be Turning His Life Around. then I got hit with the doubt that he might not need my help, not WANT my help, and just find me useless at best, and actively harmful at worst.
cuz i could see myself Helping People for a Living, and I would hate to be in that position and FAIL COMPLETELY at it. To want and try to help them, but just end up hurting them.
i know this is a very real thing for social workers and therapists and shrinks and teachers and people whose job it is to help people, who really WANT to help people. they end up taking shit too personally. it boils down to the fact that you can never MAKE someone do ANYTHING. you can lead the horse to water but cant make them drink. period. but you also cant HELP but take it personally when you’ve tried so hard to help them. its a similar situation with muh fam. they’ve tried so hard to help me……but nothing worked. thankfully I have made more of a conscious effort to “pay them back” for their valiant, heroic efforts, to send the message that even if i didn’t turn out too well, I still appreciate their heroic, self-sacrificing efforts. any other kid would have turned out to be a huge success, but i was always a bad seed i guess.
but thats a horrible view of muh self. i really really feel like a bad seed but, just like George, i do have a good side. it can just be REALLY HARD to FIND and to encourage in yourself. to feel the good dog and NOT feed the bad dog, to use that old very very very very TRUE cliche. I’ve fed the bad dog so much, i dont even know what the good dog looks like or where he is. the good dog has become an unknown unknown hahahahahaha. but thats not totally true, i know my good dog involves my desire to help people like i said above. and to be a nice moral person who wants to help people, to help children, to be a good person and not a lazy loser degenerate.
you totally can lose track of your good dog, not have contact with him for months or years. so it really IS an empowering thing to finally stumble upon the good dog again. but you gotta hold on to him, feed him, and not let him go. I am sort of doing this and George seems to finally have found his good dog for the first time in a while. maybe reminds me that I have a good dog in myself too, we ALL do. even fookin nonwhytes. but ESPECIALLY hwytes hahahahaha.
ok i have pre emptively moved this into the topkek posts page because these are very important points. serious shit. but i think i am done being serious today, so back to the SHITPOSTING hahahahaha.
was a pill popping maniac yesterday, which yes, IS degenerate. 3 valiums and 2 benedryls. crashed into bed around 130 am, having got up at 5am the previous day. slept pretty solidly to about 12pm and then have been eckbearding today….well sorta. watched some great yt vids, wrote a very nice thing to george, wrote a qualitypost above, so really the neckbearding starts now. but its already 4pm . feels more like 1 pm hahaha. this is what happens when you stay up late and get up late.
would like to do a powerwalk but it might be too cold out there, coldest its been all week. cold and windy. not a good comvo hahahah.
got a social thing today starting at the late hour of 10 pm. will prob take 1 valium before leaving. ideally would sing a good karaoke song. actually ideally i would find some degenerate at the bar and buy 20 dollars of MJ off him hahaha. its actually not impossible. also contribute 20 dollars of goodwill to the group bar tab as several achievements are being celebrated. and ive been wanting to go to more social events and not look like an aloof antisocial prick. i dont have to stay longer than 2 hours. no one is asking me to close down the bar, although the others prob will hahahaha.
hahaha it looks like well known swedish black metal band marduk is now being PROTESTED by ANTIFA on some 2017 US shows because they think they are NAZIS hahahaha. i have been on the fence about making an effort to see marduk. i mean i really SHOULD, im sure its a GREAT metal show,and ive never seen them, and have sorta wanted to for years. they have a good aesthetic of christraeping black metal and i like their brutal blasting and i like that their Aesthetic has become gradually more “FASCIST” over the years, that is much better than satanic bullshit. naturally the antifa see this and think they are nazis. Which i would be thrilled if they WERE! but now i’m hoping marduk doesnt CUCK and make a statement like “we are a nonpolitical band who is totally anti racist and anti fascist, we welcome fans of all races. we just like ww2 stuff in our Brutal Aesthetic.” i mean the same thing happened to SLAYER. i cant remember if they made any Cucky Walkback statements. Pretty weak to see Toughguy metal bands doing Cucky Tolerance and Diversity stuff. to my knowledge, marduk hasn’t said a damn word and I hope they keep it that way and just continue playing brutal shows and this makes me want to see them more.
my main problem with them is , i want to like them and i’ve TRIED to like them for YEARS, but its SO hard to sit through an entire album without getting bored. the best would be a greatest hits album or a greatest hits concert. i dont doubt the concerts are great. i really should go. but stay away from all the degenerate drug and alcohol nihilist metalheads. shit some TRVE FASCISM would give their lives some direction and make them MUCH better people.
or the antifa complained that morgan from marduk didn’t roundly condemn varg vikernes when varg was arrested about 3 years ago for hate speech or something (later charges were dropped thankfully.) morgan said thats good they were dropped, this is a ridiculous violation of freeze peach. of course antifa hate that. means youre supporting a neo nazi.
they even bring up the fact that supporting band on tour incantation had a Ebil Nazi in their band 15 years ago. I have seen incantation live more than any other death metal band, they put on a GREAT show every time. most of their albums are boring though. except for the old ones with the nazi singer. he has an EXCELLENT voice. and yes he is pretty much a much biger nazi than marduk ever will be hahahaha. and i love it! I say good for him! i’m surprised he doesnt get more pushback. but his current band disma has been banned from tours recently. they dont even say racist stuff. they just have craig pillard with his best death metal vocals ever. I enjoyed their album. I luv pillard’s voice, one of muh fav DM singers. and i LUV that he LUVS HIS RACE OPENLY. I STAND WITH CRAIG PILLARD hahahahaha. If I ever see you craigy I will buy you lunch and try to have an important conversation about race with you hahahahaha. but yeah i’m not much into death metal. just iron maiden and black metal hahahaha. and ALWAYS open to alt right, pro hwyte, racist music. hard to find GOOD ones there tho. greyfield stray is explicity alt right and post on TRS but they/he are….. alternative prog rock? I should try listening more.
ok go to grocery store at 8pm. checked the google maps for a drop off in busy time. prefer to go to store on fridays not saturdays but working normies HAVE to go on sat or sun. and god have mercy on the poor souls who have to WORK at the grocery store on the weekends!!!!!!
yeah i would luv to sc0re a 20 dolla thing of MJ from some guy at the bar hahahaha. i mean it is a good bar. pretty much explicitly hwyte. always comments about how there’s never any blacks and are blacks even ALLOWED here? so yeah its pretty much the best bar ever, but still all the hwytes get degenerately drunk and bang barsluts.
but it is tech fun to watch karaoke. just too stressful to be put on the spot and have people goading you to do karaoke when you dont have a good song prepared, and youre not raging drunk because you dont drink anymore, in contrast to all the people around you getting raging drunk and partying and having a great time.
oh shit the lyrics of iron maiden’s “run to the hills” are explicitly anti-white, written from the perspective of Natives who were killed by the evil white conquistadores from across the sea. well that’s what im getting out of the lyrics i can discern.
well i’ll let it slide because i dont think this is indicative of where their beliefs are at, i think they were just kind of doing a fantasy LARP as natives, i don’t know WHY, but they dont seem to do it regularly, and also it’s a pretty overrated song, never one of my favorites, pretty forgettable as far as their hits go hahahaha. just dont do it again guys.
and on a whole, iron maidens lyrics have NEVER been really IDEOLOGICAL or POLITICAL. which I wouldnt have a problem if they were ideological in the right way hahahahaha.
i also have this fantasy, this hope, that maiden was less degenerate than other bands like priest. they didnt do as much coke, they didnt drink themselves stupid as much, they didnt bang as many filthy whores, they actually had enough pride to not perform sloppy concerts while fooked up on drugs and alcohol and half assing it for the working slobs paying to see a good show.
like when i was a young lad going to pantera concerts (wow does that make me feel OLD), they were often shitty drunk. i thought that was awesome, as I glorified the degen behavior they showed in their “watch it go” video, where they made being a drunk degenerate look like the most fun in the world.
to their credit the band still sounded tight as shit and i guess darrell was capable of playing perfectly despite having an 80% BAC hahahaha. but phil was always sloppy and fooking hostile hahahaha. he was not at his finest. of course i thought this made him a huge badass, but now i’m mature enough to realize its disrespectful to himself, his band, and the fans.
but yeah it was ultimately horrible for me to think that pantera was so cool the way they partied like degen animal N3GR0ES. I just didnt view it like that. it was more like, god damn its awesome and fun to be raging drunk as much as possible!!!!!!!!
i dont blame them for my own degeneracy…..but that was not a good example for me to be following. i really wish i knew better.
ok now looking for iron maiden tributes, pref with more “heavy” bands and less gay bands hahahaha. i would even listen to metallica doing tribute as long as they are not being super gay hahaha. the remember tomorrow cover does sound ok. i know opeth did a cover of this song too. never my fav maiden song to begin with hahaha.
there are some good bands in here like evoken and morgion for example. and angel corpse!!!! solitude aeternus is not bad. absu is ok, vital remains is probably listenable haha. i think i saw them live. probably with incantation hahahaha. who is of course the much better DM band and they should do some maiden covers.
morgion was a VERY UNDERRATED band and i would luv to see them come back. I discovered them when I was YOUNG and that was one of the better musical taste decisions I made at that age. the solinari album is a timeless classic.
homeowners insurance. zillow IMPLIES that it adds a pretty big amount to your monthly mortgage payment. do you HAVE to get the insurance? is it a complete jooish scam bullshit with no benefits, like CAR insurance, which i spent a decent amount of money on, but get NO benefit from it, even if, ESPECIALLY if i were to get in a car accident? im only buying the “cheapest”, most useless insurance, because i legally HAVE to, and it is a TERRIBLE deal. its very expensive and get no value out of it. getting SCREWED. this is why literally TONS of people just dont buy car insurance and drive without insurance. because they simply cant AFFORD the legal bare MINIMUM. is home insurance like that?
because i see a house for sale for 6000 dollars and im like hmmmm.
also i dont like the idea of this iron maidens female tribute band. the picture i saw showed an honestly VERY attractive white guitar player with her tits hanging out like a whore. it would be a lot better if they didnt dress all SEXY aka SLUTTY. that is not good for a hwyte woman to do. any woman really but hwyte women are MY women and I want to defend their honor and not have them throw it all away.
also do not trust women who play in bands. i used to think it was cool. like oh thats a Cool Chick. then i realized cool just meant crazy af and would prob have no problem throwing you away like a piece of garbage and being cold and cruel to you with crazy bullshit. but probably being very wild and secsy in the bedroom. dont stick your dick in crazy. ever. unless your heart is cold as ice and you are willing to throw her away before she throws you away. and its never good for people to throw people away. so just dont do it.