ACCEPT SCIENCE! OR BE FOREVERBUTTHURT

apr 23

had dream with that woman last night. kinda sucked. because she was leaving me, and i was both begging her PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME, AND being a passive aggressive scheming butthurt joo, trying to scam her into staying with me, AND butthurt lashing against her for being interested in other men and not me, AND butthurt lashing against those lucky tuffguy badboi men. dont remember specifics of how that was happening, but those were the obvious feels in the dream. i was not acting like a strong decent courageous moral hwyte man. and it sucks just feeling like a weak scheming weakling. and she was sighing and saying UGH and CLEARLY totally DISGUSTED with me and my weakness.

not a good confidence building dream hahahaha.

sunday. nice and sunny. doing my sunday routine of charging shit, trimming beard to level 2, playing some cards, will do powerwalk in a bit, try to get into bed by 8pm. after like a month of keeping stats, my sleep average is 8:30 a night. 8 and a half hours.

gaining weight. now up to a scale tipping 131 lbs hahahaah. simpyl because i am going over 1500 cals too much. hahaha. because on the weekends i drink tea with too much HONEY.

well for a few weeks I was eating llife savers candies. because eating 2 bags of life savers in 2 weeks will make you gain like 4 pounds. im only half joking.

well i was eating a bit too much ice cream too.

i just hate falling in luv with a nice innocent low number gurl, then she dumps you, your heart is insanely broken, then she very likely starts becoming a high number slut, blowing and fooking guys she just met. so even if she came back to you, she wouldnt be the same decent woman, but just a common slut, but you’re so sad, youd prob take her back anyway, because you havent found anyone better, and youre still pining, still having dreams about her.

but yeah. like those guys at daily stormer said, just being a little bit off, a little bit awkward, putting your hands in your pockets, and WOMEN and JOBS think you are a HUGE WEIRDO and dont want to hang out with you or hire you. let alone bang you, or pay you 28k a year!

you cant even pull 35 year old fat mudshark single moms! you cant even make 18k a year!

BLESSED ARE THE STRONG! THE MEEK WILL INHERIT NOTHING!

yeah well at least i dont watch porn hahaha. i dont want to watch porn hahaha. at least i dont drink. i dont really WANT to drink. at least i dont do MJ. but I really, really, really WANT to do MJ a LOT!!!!!! and thats bad.

i went into a home depot recently and was overwhelmed by just one aisle with all different types of screws, nuts, washers, brads, bolts, spikes, nails, and i was like, who UDNERSTANDS all of this shit? do stupid mexicans really understand all this? and if they do, doesnt that make them smarter and better than me? drug addicted construction workers who at best smoke MJ all day on the job (and after), and at worst, pop opioids all day? they can understand this complicated shit and do this job and I cant????

it was national ((((science)))) day on ((((earth day)))) yesterday and i saw this goy scientist on cspan. obviously a goy. but the activist shit he said was PURE JOO. he was so excited telling a story of a little gurl (prob PoC hahahaha) who luved sciecne. WOW I LUV SCIENCE and BACTERIA! BACTERIAS ARE SO KEWL! she was talking to a science grad student, prob an evil hwyte male. she said, do you study kool bacteria in there, and he responded, no not really, we have some bacteria, but they are really just to help enable protein activation or some phd science shit.

then the guy telling the story, i think tyler dewitt was his name, said, this is horrible, because it taught the little gurl that

  1. scientists are mean and grumpy
  2. science is CONFUSING and overwhelming
  3. MAYBE PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM SCIENCE.

at that point I was like fook this joo, how can you be so stupid. he seems like a totally sincere goy who sincerely believes the joo lies. i  turned it off quickly after and said, well he would have told a little BOY the same thing. plus I’m sure phd level science IS confusing and overwhelming, and he has a ton of work to do, therefore he is very stressed, therefore hes grumpy to everyone all the time, not just little gurls asking about science, but everyone all the time. hes grumpy to his gay PoC boifrands.

i wont deny that phd programs are a lot of WORK, and alot of the phd students like to be Workaholic Martyrs for that. nope i cant have a traditional relship now, im too busy working 100 hours a week on my phd program. i dont deny phd programs are TOO MUCH WORK than I could handle.

science isnt for people who look like you. get the ofok out of here joo liar. of course science is fun when you are in 3rd grade in 2017 and you CANT POSSIBLY FAIL and its a huge hugbox lovefest and all your marxist teachers who know nothign about science teach you how KOOL science is. and you arent under PRESSURE to solve confusing af problems or people will bitch at you about how stupid you are, at best, or, at worst, you will get fired for being an idiot, and then have to try to sell shit for a living like the rest of normie idiots, when you thought science was your golden ticket because you are an autist who cant get along with normies.

its not all fun and games and bacteria is kewl tee hee. its publish or perish on obscure shit where only 10 people in the world know or care what youre doing, and its sure not part of anything bigger and better, like curing cancer, which the joos do not ever WANT scientists to cure. because you find a cure, you K THE GOLDEN GOOSE.

but yeah i just dont like getting dreams about that woman, period. because its a way of SEEING her again. and in this dream, i was acting like a shameful coward, and she was acting like a mean bitch. at the very least, i wish i were acting like a strong man. i HATE being WEAK.

i also HATE thinking That Woman was just a damn slut like those guys at DS were talking about. who play innocent and then you bang them with just the tip bullshit.

its kind of jooish, but its also kinda brilliant. i can’t say its wholly jooish, any more than women are inherently kinda jooish, and it plays to that.

and it SUCKS that hwyte women are INHERENTLY JOOISH!!!!!!

thats why its MENS job to step in and physically STOP them from BEING jooish!

perhaps blackish would be better term. because theyre not as smart and clever and high iq as joos. joos or blacks, whatever it is, it SUCKS, and i wish Our Women werent like that, but they ARE, they always HAVE been, even before the world was jooed, so just ACCEPT it, or be FOREVER BUTTHURT.

what CAN make a woman become more mature is having children and being a good mother to them. BUT, in order to do that, she USUALLY needs a good husband. otherwise she just is a shitty single mother.

basically, a woman NEEDS a man to reach her full potential. a man does not really NEED a woman to reach HIS full potential. other than perhaps having a good mother will help him, and having a good wife will help him. but these things are not nearly as MANDATORY as having a good father and a good husband are for women.

That’s just the way women have EVOLVED.

Accept SCIENCE! or be FOREVERBUTTHURT.

ok 9mm rounds are probably the most common type of ammo. they basically sell for about 20 to 25 cents per round.

basically i was thinking about investing in ammo as a currency for when the shit hits the fan and ammo will be essentially very very valuable, like gold, but moreso. food, ammo, guns, alcohol will all be very valuable. well….you can make your own alcohol easily, cant you? very hard to make your own ammo easily. so this is why people are stocking up now. and i should too hahaha. just buy a few boxes of 9mm rounds.

yeah then what. when TSHTF and just have a few boxes of ammo. then some negros with guns will rob me of the ammo hahaha. kinda stupid to have ammo but no guns. i mean i SHOULD get a gun. just a 9mm pistol handgun would be fine to start with. they dont have this RIGHT in YUROP, which is truly a huge shame.

ill tell you whats triggering. 30 year old hwyte men making 60 grand a year who truly think gunz are evil and should be BANNED, and are disgusted by hwyte men with guns.

some men spend their whole lives associating with onyl terrible women and never meet a decent woman, so they think all women are like that hahaha.

hey ive met at least 3 decent women in my life!

but anyway if you get the gurl sucking your d on the first hour shes met you, well its physically IMPOSSIBLE to get put in the friendzone. therefore, aim for SOME kind of physical action, even if its just you groping their body, or making out, or encouraging them to just touch the tip. then you’ll NEVER get in the friendzone hahaha.

ive also been friends with women where they were decent people/friends, but they wouldnt really be decent gfs for me, because i knew too much abotu their  sordid past. it didnt make them bad people, but it ruled them out of GF Zone for me hahahaha. sorry sweetie, youve just been with TOO MANY GUYS.

now, i never had a hardcore conversation with them about how their number was too high for me to consider Dating them. that would just be cruel at that point. like them bluntly telling ME that they would never consider dating me because I was just too unmanly and weak! which was true!

SOOOOO……if joe stalin hated joos, how come we dont like him? because his USSR was thoroughly jooed and k’d tons of innocent hwytes. he might have hated Joos, but he was thoroughly controlled by joos.  i think that is the idea.

some say the ukraine nationalists are totally joo controlled, and basically in 2017, russia is much less jood than ukraine.

i dunno, just dont know!

basically, we want nice, decent, innocent white women who dont act like goddamn N3gr0s!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Beautiful Hwyte women have been turned into N3gr0 whores! by You KNow Who!!!!!!!

funny. women are physically beautiful, but they dont know how to appreciate that beauty. they are disgustingly good at shitting on that beauty. like joos boiling jesus christ in a cauldron of shit in hell in their talmud. women make a travesty out of their own beauty. and only a MAN can really appreciate the BEAUTY of anything – women, a beautiful sunset, a beautiful piece of music, etc.

i also figured women are very good chameleons. very good at pretending to be men, pretending to be jooz, pretending to be blacks. and when we make it COOL again, they will start “pretending” at that which they are naturally best suited for: being wives and mothers. but now they are having a hard time pretending that role.

its not just the jooz fault women are so fooking horrible. its MENS fault TOO. but lets just say 60% joos fault hahaha. but yeah, we, us, men, are at fault too. by being weak. but a lot of our own weakness comes from the joo too!

https://archive.org/stream/MienKampfAdolfHitlerTheStalagEdition/Mien%20Kampf%20-%20Adolf%20Hitler%20-%20The%20Stalag%20Edition

read the book every day hahahaha.

i just hate that i found such beauty in that woman, and who she was, yet she just gives herself away like cheap filth to filthy negros. was I THAT WRONG about her beauty? no, she was beautiful at that time. but she prob doesnt mind just totally profaning and blaspheming and destroying her own beauty, letting herself go from a beautiful woman to a pile of negro shit. shit yeah its HEARTBREAKING!

i mean im only thinking about it because i had that dream last night.

did a 2 mile powerwalk on BEAUTIFUL sunday day (which only MEN can appreciate the beauty, hahaha) and listened to taake nattestid and saor guardians. not bad!

oh yeah. when you live in a 90% white neighborhood (thank GOD) and you see a beater rusty car driving around the neighborhood with three 20 year old black men in it……well lets just say i frowned on that and i hope other people saw it and were willing to call the po po. shit yeah there should be profiling here, because these young thugs looked suspicious af, they obviously dont live here. my thought is they are cruising around the neighborhood looking for houses to break into, OR, probably more likely, they were going to play basketball at the public city park. this is super annoying and it brings in too many blacks in the spring and summer. really wish the city would just take the negroball hoops down. they can leave the tennis courts because hwytes occasionally use those. but it is very irritating to see 10 young blacks who clearly dont live in the neighborhood, using your neighborhood park.

to their credit, there hasnt been any notable crimes out of the blacks in memory. that is kind of miraculous. absolutely miraculous. well maybe blacks arent that bad after all, even real thuggish looking young ones who play basketball and have filthy mouths. theyre not even shooting or stabbing each other when 10 of them get together, or terrorizing the hwyte people at the park, or breaking into cars and houses.

see thats the thing. when a woman is a slut wh0re, it also says, i would be a POOR CHOICE as a wife and mother. i would be a shitty wife AND a shitty mother.

reeeeeeeee just because a woman Owns Her Own Sexuality like a Mature Adult doesnt mean she would be a Bad Mother reeeeeeeeeeee!!!! screech the feminists. the jooish feminists.

so then you have to mansplain why a person who takes the life creation process so LIGHTLY might also take innocent human lives a little too lightly.

cuz i was thinking, you know, beggars cant be choosers, i dont DESERVE a nonslut, i guess i would take a slut IF she were attractive AND loyal to me AND would be a good wife AND would be a good mother, then FINE I guess I could tolerate her having a Slut Phase where she took 20 dicks.

but then i realized how stupid that sounded. a woman with a slut phase who took 25 dicks probably WOULDNT be a great wife and WOULDNT be a great mother.

thats why we dont like it!

because it means they might be willing to stray from us for some strange coch, or that the baby we are raising is NOT OURS!!!! maybe she snuck off and fooked some other guy, just like she snuck off and fooked other guys in the past!!!!!!!

of COURSE women dont understand this, buecase women have NEVER understood the OBVIOUS. even DECENT women dont understand the obvious. women have not EVOLVED through SCIENCE! to understand the obviously. ACCEPT THE SCIENCE! OR BE FOREVERBUTTHURT!!!!!!

april 24

well i pulled the trigger. bought the manheim translation of MEIN K4MPF for 11.60 incl shipping. basically the best deal i can get on this book. would prefer stalag edition but its like 6 dollars more. and i hear the manheim translation is good enough.

the problem with this all women are whores mindset is, who the hell are you going to have babies with? you want a WH)RE for the mother of your children? i guess I am coming over to the idea of hwyte sharia, even tho I don’t luv the word, as basically a way of saying EXTREME PROBLEMS CALL FOR EXTREME SOLUTIONS. The Women Problem is WAY over the line, things are WAYYYYYY out of control there, so we NEED something extreme to fix it. you dont have to call it “sharia”, but it DOES have to be extreme, because wouldnt you agree that our women are EXTREMELY out of control. do you deny that? I didnt think so!

basically, we HAVE to have children with whores and then train the NEXT generation of girls to never become whores like their whore mothers, hahaha. it can be done! i’m optimistic! white pill!

the bad news is, you have a whore for a wife and your poor children have a whore for a mother. how to deal?

you train your whore wife to PRETEND to be a decent woman and to pretty much “fake it till you make it” as a decent woman trying to be a decent mother. but you basically would have to monitor youre wifes mothering skills much more than with an actual decent woman. more work for you, in other words. oh well. A MAN’S WORK IS NEVER DONE.

it just rustles me that you can never expect LOYALTY out of a woman because theyre simple not CAPABLE of it. its like THE RACISM OF LOW EXPECTATIONS that Well-Intentioned whites use on poor blacks. basically let them get away with shitty behavior, never hold them accountable.

well yes you would hold them accountable, by spanking them whenever they started to show disloyalty. spank them until they stop showing disloyalty. SPANKING IS NOT VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!! IM NOT ADVOCATING VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!

its basically very similar to the pro and anti spanking camps re disciplining kids. Same thing with WOMAN. Grown Women are the same as immature children who require DISCIPLINE. DISCIPLINE IS NOT VIOLENCE!!

maybe if they had been RAISED RIGHT, modern women wouldnt NEED so much discipline!

discipline via spanking would be a key part of My Hwyte “Sharia.” god damn u anglin hahahaha. such a stupid WORD. but hes absolutely right about the idea.

i wonder if they will send me the MK with the hugeass portrait of AH on the cover, hahahahahahaha. I HOPE SO!

EXTREME PROBLEMS CALL FOR EXTREME SOLUTIONS.

I will not use the word “desperate” to describe our extreme, but strong, proud, and not-desperate solutions.

with The Women Problem, we are essentially doing what they did when they sent juvenile delinquents to Military School.

Scared Straight Boot Camp.

We treat them like children because they ACT like children. That’s not a LOW expectation, thats a REAL RED PILL REALITY expectation. Women were designed by SCIENCE! to act like children.

Because…………uhhhhhhhhh this means they get pregnant as soon as possible and as often as possible. it’s ALMOST an r-selected strategy. it’s a lot less K-selected than white knights would hope.

BUT…..humans are a lot more likely to DIE in childbirth than a blatantly r-selected species like rats. a rat can have 100 babies and prob not die. if a human woman had 50 babies she would almost certainly die. even 20. human birth is a painful, complicated process where a lot can go wrong. not too long ago, many women did die during birth.

soooooo thats not helping my argument that its ok for women to be huge r selected sluts fooking everything that moves.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/the-mike-enoch-question-a-public-discussion/101414

anglin doing a somewhat official thing on the enoch question. i wish TRS had done an official thread on the enoch question! after time has passed, I am pretty ok with enoch, but i think TRS handled it very badly at the time. i wish enoch had been more forthcoming, like anglin has been about things in his life that could be used against hsi character, and address them BEFORE they became an issue. Anglin sums it up very nicely in his OP here. this is only on the BBS, not the main site.

QUOTE

TRS was advised with how to deal with the situation. I spoke personally with Sven within 24 hours of the doxing, and told him that Mike needed to come out and be 100% straighforward with people, to show a bit of vulnerability, to apologize for lying by omission, and say that he’s a human being and life is complicated and weird things happen and most times the right thing is not the easiest thing.

Instead of being straightforward, the TRS team engaged in a lot of weird cagey bullshit. They were first totally silent, then they told stupid lies like “oh well she’s only part J00ish and has no J00ish culture” even though she was a completely degenerate tranny promoting k—  – something straight out of a @MANNvsMACHINE cartoon.

Sven then did a show without Mike, and seemed to announce that Mike would be leaving the show.

Then Mike and Sven did a show with Rufus from Rebel Yell, where nothing at all was talked about. It was rambling, boring bullshit, where none of the concerns people have were addressed. Mike was attempting to be so cryptic that he made weird statements making it sound like he himself is a J00. This was really a kick in the face to loyal TRS fans, and resulted in a whole lot of anger.

On the TRS forum, massive numbers of long-time posters were banned for simply being angry and demanding the issue be addressed clearly.

When a regular TDS episode finally aired, there was again no direct statements about any of it, and another awkward statement where Mike seemed to be implying that he is J00ish (especially when it is taken out of context in a clip).

A lot, a lot of long-time TRS supporters felt abused, and I think it is fair to say they were abused. Technically, a guy who does a podcast and posts it on the internet doesn’t owe anything to the people who download and listen to that podcast. But in real human terms, a person who spends countless hours listening to a person talk believes that person is their friend. This is because our brains did not evolve to be capable of drawing a distinction between a disembodied radio voice of a stranger and someone sitting in our room (or at the gym, or in the car, or wherever we were listening) talking to us and an actual real life friend. People felt like they were betrayed by a personal friend, and you can see this in the many, many angry responses. In this sense, on a human level, Mike did owe his listeners something more than what he gave them.

END QUOTE

ok cant read more than 150 posts hahahaha. why havent i listened to anglins 90 min speech in london in like 2012:

he needs to get the sleeves of his jacket tailored but he should be giving speeches like this every day hahahaha. i think he could become really really good at it. it really is a skill you can get better at with practice.

HORREE SHEET, GR8 SPEECH ANDRE. even better than expected. he should totally do this every week. every day. hes a great writer and he writes a great speech too. sometimes he gets off on a tangent, but it doesnt really matter. its all good. when he speaks you can tell he is even smarter than you thought he was!

ideally I would like him giving AH-style fiery speeches of the already fiery stuff he writes about. he doesnt even talk about gassing the K’s in this speech, its quite restrained.

Yeah I know he goes on other peoples podcasts and shows pretty often. great. but I would love if he did his own podcast where he did most of the talking. or better, did events like spencer.

hahahahaha now i cant wait for my copy of MEIN KAMPF to arrive.

im surprised i never bought it before, just to seem EDGY. I totally did that sort of thing when I was young, bought stuff just because it was EDGY like marilyn manson or some shit. you young direct-to-altright 20 year olds have no idea what its like. to lose your youth wandering, lost in jooish edginess. not that MK is “jooish” edgyness. but it was def edgy. but in NO WAY was I ready to take AH and NS SERIOUSLY. It was more like yeaaahhhh worlds most evil man, genociding jooish children, badass evil black metal death metal mother fookerrrrrr rawwwwrrrrr metalllllllllll deathhhhhhh and destructionnnnnnnnn. get foookkedddd upppppp and genocide millions of pathetic, helpless victims, left to DIE! RANCID angel of DEATH, flying FREE!!!!! angel of death middle riff.wav

(not saying thats not a classic song!)

no idea that perhaps AH was in fact the greatest man since JESUS CHRIST, that maybe they didnt carry out the you-know-what as described, and that AH had the best plan for a happy, healthy hwyte society!!!!!!!!!

i accepted the jooish story that AH was an evil man…..but I also accepted a pretty jooish kind of nihilism and MORAL INVERSION that said that anything EVIL was KOOL and AWESOME!!!!!!

And 20 years later I ended up at, AH is Awesome again hahahahahaha. for all the RIGHT reasons this time.

heres a great business idea: find a way to transfer small amounts of bitcoin for no fee so that people could charge tiny fees and people could make tiny payments.

for example, pay me 25 cents in bitcoin to download this podcast. and then be able to easily send them 25 cents in bitcoin, with no fee.

as it is now, you cant even send 1 dollar BTC without paying god damn 60 cents fee.

meaning its really only worthwhile to send bitcoin at 5 dollars or above.

but its a lot easier to charge 25 cents for a podcast, than 5 dollars.

see what I’m getting at?

as the amount you send goes up, the amount (percentage) of fee goes DOWN. seemingly. I mean, at 1 dollar its 60 fooking percent, at 5 dollars its still like 10 percent, which is still way too damn high. the fees are too damn high with bitcoin.

anglin. at first I thought he was “low brow”. He might self-deprecatingly joke about himself being low brow. But I think he is actually smart af, possibly fooking genius autist levels. he could be a pure intellectual but he chooses not to, because he knows its not pure intellectuals that change the world, but MEN OF ACTION.

 

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sat nov 25

april 11

welp a ridiculously slow day today, i dont deserve this, nobody deserves a job this easy ahhahahahaha. well im not making enough money to live or be an adult, so that is the price i pay for an easy stress free job.

but lately i was worried because i wasnt making progress on this project, it seemed to be like NAILING JELLO TO THE WALL, and it was not just frustrating but made me NERVOUS. like why is this affecting me. why dont i just power through with brute force. obviously i am thinking too much. i need to stop thinking and just start doing. after a full day of doing that, i felt bad and weak. like jeez i dont even deserve THIS job, i am damn near DISABLED, I will NEVER be a full adult, i should just get on SSI. gummint handouts. honest to god NEETBUX.

anyway the good news is that i made some progress there and feel i have started to get a handle on things. and really the main thing there was just less thinking, more doing, approaching things like a BEAST. like a TERMINATOR.

This is good Life Advice in general! dont get so damn EMOTIONAL. better to be less emotional than more emotional.

i guess you can start trying to be more emotional if you end up hurting other people like a sociopath.

i saw a nice column in dear annie or annies mailbox today, where there was a woman saying she felt guilty because she Threw A Man Away and Ghosted Him without a Word, because she was just too immature and cowardly to deal with the situation, and 3 years later, she realizes what a great guy he was, and how much she probably hurt him, and now she just wants to APOLOGIZE so she stops feeling like a horrible person, he didnt deserve to be dumped so harshly.

annie says its fine to apologize, just be VERY CLEAR about your expectations and dont lead him on.

i was just happy that there was a woman out there with a sense of guilt, who felt bad about throwing a guy away like a piece of garbage hahahaha. i wondered if it was really That Woman writing in hahaha. but no, she said she actually Dated the guy for Three Months hahahaha. so nope.

dating of course just means fooking. so while i never “dated” that woman for 3 whole months, i did KNOW her for 3 (approx) YEARS, which I think counts for SOMETHING, and these fooking women CHILDREN apparently think counts for NOTHING. you fook some chad once one night and means more than someone you knew for 10 years but never fooked. its all c0ch and cvnt with this negrobrained cvnts. all they KNOW is SECS SECS SECS hahaha.

OK I AM OVERREACTING AGAIN, JUST LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. i was just ahppy to hear a woman out there felt bad about hurting a guy hehehe. have a damn CONSCIENCE hehehehe. i mean I WANT you to feel bad about hurting muh fee fees hahahaha.  feel a LITTLE bad. yeah im responsible for my own feelz but that still doesnt mean what you did was JUST FINE!

anyway. i was trying to find a copy of the article but cant haha.

ok here it is, its DEAR ABBY

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2017/4/11/0/woman-who-fled-from-love-now

want to get the comments too:

https://pastebin.com/vgHgwAES

heh there is all the comments

hehehe well what if the guy HAS spent the last 3 years PINING hahahahaha

but yeah it IS probably stupid to say i luv u 3 months in.

but…..when you are banging a beautiful young gurl and she seems to like you……yeah i could see this happening to me hahaha. i would prob say it too hahaha. i thought i luved those gurls too.

damn. was doing really well at poker table then i LOST IT ALL. i am literally THE WORST, DUMBEST poker player EVER. i have learned NOTHING in like 4 years of playing. havent even got 1% better.

but anyway. yeah if That Woman contacted me 2 years later, i would still take her back, ive still been pining for her, and what is really sucky is that she would probably still be immature and stupid about it, like I feel so bad, I feel like a horrible person, I dont want to feel bad any more, I I I Me Me Me Me, when the thing to recognize is YOU didnt deserve this. i mean really she should make it about ME, not hear, make her motivations and expectations clear as abby says, and shes too stupid to do that, and she also prob wouldnt show the forethought that maybe I found a better woman, maybe I got married and had a family, and so she wants to word this very carefully so as not to disrupt my marriage. i dont think she would be smart enough to do any of this. yet im still pining for her, i would totally take her back, i havent found anyone better, i fear I’ll NEVER find anyone better, i would take her back, and then she would probably dump me again!!!!!!!!

and NO I never said those words to HER!!!!!! i felt it but I know you’re not allowed to say the words until youve been fooking the person monogamously for a year. which is damn near impossible hahahaha.

i read ALL the comments. heh. i suppose I will stop pining for her but it will take more than two years hehehe. and if she cant apologize within 2 years then fook her hahahahaha. like all the negros that have fooked her in the last 2 years.

stupid goddamn poker. was doing SUPER GOOD, which is RARE, now I LOST IT ALL and THEN some.

the ROI is about as good with a damn WOMAN. meaning, the costs huegly outweigh the benefits!

but im obviously not the typical man because i would LIKE that apology! and if SHE’s listening to THESE people, they would tell her leave him alone, he’s forgotten about you. but I havent! i would LUV to hear from her! SO MAYBE I SHOULD CONTACT HER and let her know that! hey just doing my now once a year CHECK IN to see if you want to apologize, maybe get married, have children, or are you not fat and used up and desperate enough yet?

i mean im no NICEGUY hahahaha. i fooking damn near H8 Women! hahaha.

hey cmon im seeing a damn shrink and taking meds. and i uhhhh am not getting involved with any other women until i get over this one. and become a full adult man. which will probably NEVER HAPPEN hahahaha.

so yeah. SHEd have to be a weirdo to apologize, and I”D have to be a weirdo to want it and accept it. well i know I am that kind of weirdo! and so if she apologizes that means she is the right kind of weirdo for me and we were meant to be together!

so obviously i NEED to be seeing a shrink! but i AM! but OBVIOUSLY its not ENOUGH! i either need to be going MORE, or going to a diff shrink, because its NOT WORKING!

heh. this is actually probably true hehehe.

well i spend more on shrink than on gas but less than on car insurance hehehehe. i really dont want to spend any more on shrink. i guess i am just in too much of COMFORT ZONE with muh shirnk and also am not courageous enough to talk about the most important topics.

april 12

pining for the fookin fjords hahaha.

had a positive good dream where i was basically a normie. i was a young man in univ and i was gonna become a successful normie, and i had a nice gf who was qt and nice. i was committed to her and she was committed to me. i was cuddling hardcore with her. we had been monog for a while and it was a long term thing. if this keeps going we might get married and have chirren. we had a good rel and i wasnt a supplicating omega either. i was confident and not constantly afraid of Losing Her. and I had faith that she was committed to me and wouldnt suddenly disappear one day.

the important thing was that it was a cmpletely fictional fantasy dream girl. it wasn’t THat Woman or any other woman I had ever met. It was probably a Composite Physically of several women I’ve met. but the important thing was, it was no one in particular. it was a young qt gurl with beautiful blond hair and white skin. possibly glasses, possibly tomboyISH.

but yeah. basically it was a SIGN that I COULD get over That Woman. if I met a young qt woman who cared about me, made an effort with me, then I could prob get feelings for her as I had feelz for this fantasy woman in muh dream. it doesnt HAVE to be THAT woman! That Woman is not The Final Woman Ever! so that was kinda reassuring. and nice to feel those feels for woman who was not that woman, and to get some reciprocation on it. to be committed to somebody who was actually interested and committed to me.  overally, pretty positive dream. felt good about it.

so anyway. i know not all women are stupid fookin children because i have personally met them! shit even SHE was better than the final painful end which will be the main thing I remember her by! but she was a decent person to, compromised by fear and weakness, as was I. usually, normally, i’m not such a damn big coward, but it was a bad day for me hahaha. let me have that much. yeah i am more cowardly in general than i would like but still.

I would have at least wrote a letter to selfishly appease the guilt and shame that was eating me inside hahahaha.

im just think about all this because of that stupid dear abigail letter yesterday, thats all.

shit you know she could even have another person act as messenger. her mother. our mutual friend. she could find out thru her if i am happily married or not, if i would be willing to read a letter from her or not. and she could get their Wise Mature Adult Counsel on how not to be an Idiot Child. you dont have to do it alone! you can get help from others! this isnt like WORK hahahahaha. you can get HELP from people who know better than you, so you can make a better decision, get a better outcome. shit you can pay a professional to help you or to do it for you.

shit i would have paid for the shrink FOR HER to dump me for her hahaha. would be way cheaper than me paying my shrink for 20 sessions to help me Deal With It hahahahaha.

they didnt mention that one about the neutral third party! although i think our third party is more biased in my favor hahahaha. as they should be hahahahaha.

where’s an Education Expert who is Notorious for being A Racist.

Who’s a Relationship Counselor who is notorious for being a racist.

who’s a Moral Philosopher….

who’s a sociologist, psychologist, policy expert, teacher, attorney, doctor, expert in their field, who does good Expert Level Research, and writes in a convincing way for a nonexpert audience, and is also a racist?

i was just thinking of the DNA biologist/geneticist Watson. won a nobel prize for discovering the DNA helix but was shamed and shunned for being just the slightest bit racist. also i think some brain IQ people like Gardner were kind of like this.

Lynn and Rushton are some “big names” i can think of of phds who studied the concept of race, determined it was real, and we called racist.

of course kevin macdonald.

and what do the haters do? they say these peoples works are not based on Good Science. Don’t listen to Watson, his Research Method was flawed, his statistics were shitty and do not support these conclusions.

Heh. I forgot greg johnson has a phd. david duke has a phd. but no one respects david duke’s phd.

what if he got it from harvard? then I bet they would respect it more!

I know watson was less racist than david DUKE. not that I care. i mean my point is, I want MORE scientists, researchers, phds, experts to be racists, and to be MORE racist!

or at least de-marxify Education and Psychology for a start. I would think seriously about a Masterz Degree in those fields if they werent totally jooed! but they ARE! you cant get a nonjooish education/training in those fields! you cant study a NONjooed theory and practice on how to educate people! its all about closing achievement gaps and uplifting browns. I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF.

And you know what if I actually came up with a theory and a Way to help Losers become Winners, I am PRETTY sure it would work across ALL races, even if I really only CARED about whites, even if race does matter in other things. im not so sure it would REALLY mattter with the people I was trying to help. neet omega losers. if nonwhites wanted to use it, go right ahead. i dont HATE nonwhites in that way, that I would DENY them something that might HELP them.

we are not LITERALLY throwing nonwhites into ovens and laughing with sadistic glee.

just the jooz hahahahahaha.

9.60$ buy of bitcoin every week.

GLR complained that in 1965 ish, only 20% of white goys went to college, while 80% of jooz went to college, therefore we needed to get more goys into college, or else the way it was going, the whites would end up working for the jooz.

well he wasnt wrong in that conclusion, but i don’t think he could have possibly seen how getting 90% of goys and 100% of jooz into college would have also produced a shitty situation of Credentialism and Useless Degrees and Student Debt Slavery.

also they didnt have as bad of student loans back then. and college was cheaper.

but then just today I heard a bunch of stories of MFA and even BFA students who all became successful. by age 25. some of them were black women. with a BFA only. but through hard work, persistence, motivation, they were able to be successful with a useless degree. much moreso than me. so therefore the problem was always ME, not “useless degrees.”

but it sucks that i cant even defend the race i luv. well, i can a little bit, from the most bad faith jooish attacks, but i cant WIN any people. I cant SELL muh race in that I could take a hwyte person who felt no real connect to their race, believes that race is a social construct, i dont have an ingroup, i dont care if my children are mixed race…..and convert them into someone that DOES have a preference for their own ingroup. someone that doesnt WANT to race mix any more. somebody that WANTS their children to be their own race and not mixed race.

and that i dnt have the rigor or the guts or the composure or the will or the strength to argue for my own race in the courtroom of life and say, here is the irrefutable evidence that Diversity Is Bad For Everyone, or here’s why we DONT need more Social Programs because They Just Wont Work because what works for whites doesnt work for blacks.

i cant argue ANY of this. or that if blacks were given the same OPPORTUNITIES as hwytes, then there WOULD be equality of outcome. but we still need to level the playing field MOAR.

the best I can do is donate a LITTLE money. I can’t even have CHILDREN.

also it only makes SENSE that Normies would connect my Strange Racial Fixation to my own Failure to Achieve. I’ve achieved NOTHING of my own, so I CLING to the achievements of my race.

So I’m a TERRIBLE rep for muh race in other words. have this LOSER represent you? and maybe if he werent such a lazy loser and had actually achieved something in life like decent normal people. other white racists have achieved something.  normies who have achieved decent careers and families arent huge flaming racists. all those nice white middle class professionals with their white children. raising them up to be nice antiracists and they grow up happy and successful and STILL marry whites.

well ive known a COUPLE people who race mixed though. i mean middle class professionals within 5 years of my age. but I think 80% of the masters degree middle class antiracist hwyte people are NOT gonna race mix, at least in terms of who they ultimately marry and have kids with.

well i guess my job might be to urge other neet virgin loser omegas that its ok to Luv Your Own Race. Period.  And usually thats enough to get you to stop wanting to Pay Reparations to the races your race oppressed back in the day hahahahahahaha.

and i also just get very frustrated that you cant question Whyte Privilege or the Reality of Systemic Structural Antiblack Racism without being called STUPID and IGNORANT and UNEDUCATED and UNINTELLIGENT and UNINTELLECTUAL.

that to become an EDUCATED INTELLECTUAL, you HAVE to believe in Radical Civil Rights and That Negrisi Coates-tier Reparations. to proudly say FOOK THAT BULLSHIT is MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE with being an EDUCATED INTELLECTUAL. And for the longest time, and still sort of currently, I want to be an Educated Intellectual, or, more precisely, have Intelligent Successful Professionals recognize and respect my own Intelligent Professional Successful Intellect! Not think of you as a Dumb Racist and shake their heads and wonder how he got that way, i mean he DID go to college. this guy must have some SERIOUS mental issues.

obviously i never go around talking about what a racist I am! but to know that I AM a racist and if these people knew, they would think a LOT less of me. they might give me the benefit of the doubt for Really Seeming like a Loser now, because well he seems like a nice mild-mannered somewhat awkward but good natured guy……but if they found out I was a huge racist, all that benefit of the doubt would be gone.

i mean they’ll never find out because i’ll never tell them.

but its just the principle of the matter. i hate feeling like I couldnt stand up and defend my race IF I were called to do so. and that I feel completely unable to be an ambassador for my race. that reaching out to other whites and chipping away at their racial unawareness, is completely beyond me.

well, maybe some people are meant to be racially aware, and others unaware. and me evangelizing would be as obnoxious as goddamn jehovahs witnesses coming to your door.

i mean really i probably got to develop some kind of self confidence FIRST, BEFORE I can start trying to WIN other people to the cause hehehe.

i think i might go see the joo bob dylan this summer. he is coming on a day I could ostensibly go, and I have some income I can justfy spending. I do say kudos to this joo for playing like 300 shows a year at 75 years of age. also pretty sure he still puts on good shows too, has a good band basically.

oh goody, Richard Spencer making another college appearance on april 18 at Auburn. Pretty big name skool.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/german-woman-marrying-brother-of-christmas-attacker-after-contacting-him-following-the-attack/98700

heh stupid women

QUOTE  nb4 “J00s are responsible for the behavior of women” – that isn’t even true. J00s are responsible for the social and political factors that allowed women to behave like this, but women will always naturally make the most destructive decisions imaginable, in any given situation.

If you doubt that, try to get out of TV land for a moment and just think about the people around you. The women in your life, in your friends’ lives, the women you knew in school, the women you know from work – what are the overwhelming majority of them acting like? Are they making good decisions? END

interesting because whenever i find myself in a Women Hating thing, I say, its not their fault, its really JOOZ fault, dont hate women, hate the jooz that made them this way. and then Anglin says this hahahahaha.

welp….the women I actually know at the moment are making all right decisions. of course, these are the women I see at muh job and they are all 48, 53 years old. have children and did not frivorce their husbands.

i am sure all the women under 30 are making horrible decisions, but i dont really know any. i can nly speculate about sluts i see for 2 seconds. they dont LOOK like they make good decisions.

but hey the woman in this article is a fat slob who has 2 mud kids anyway.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/uk-polish-girl-killed-by-kebab-shop-boyfriend-for-cheating-on-him-with-other-paki/98702

“THERE ARE NO GOOD WOMEN” hehehehehehe.

you can take a “nice” polish girl, put her in degenerate londonstan, and she quickly becomes a huge mudshark degenerate.

another QUOTE from forum user: White women here and in Europe are totally degenerate, regardless of how much feminism they have been exposed to.
For a period of a few years I was a manic serial dater, sometimes staggering 3-4 dates in a single day.
I got to a point where I could get a girl’s life story out of her in less than an hour. What I would be specifically looking for is if they ever had an interracial relationship. I won’t go into the subtle process by which I led into that question but of the women I met at least 50-75% of the women had f00ked a negro.
These were White women from all kinds of socio-economic backgrounds and none of them were hard drug users.
It seemed like it was almost a rite of passage for the ones who had attended university or grad school.
It was just another thing to try, like some ethnic cuisine.
From these experiences I can unequivocally say I truly despise women. END

NICE hahahaha favorited. would like to hear his subtle process hehehe. i would like to do what he is doing. i dont know if he managed to eventually find a good wife. i hope he did. plenty of men on DS forum have. i mean you need to go thru a lot of chaff. this is what i need to start doing. its a numbers game.

and g0d what about the women who HADNT been to university. the more working class vs the middle class. fact is, mudsharks come in all classes. working, middle, educated, noneducated, it doesn’t matter.

QUOTE We should really invest in artificial wombs, women are no longer reliable to do the only f00king thing they should do
Or hire poor mud women to be surrogate mothers of high-quality White sperm and eggs. That’s the biological equivalent of an artificial womb. END (ive seen this idea before, that is INTERESTING af. how much of the nonwhite surrogates hormones would influence the development of the hwyte baby?

now go give anglin some shekels, he’s probably only got 2000 lousy dollars in his btc wallet hahahaha. it would be nice to meet Anglin some day but im not gonna stalk him. i dont want to stalk ANYBODY EVER. its not normal, its not right, its not hwyte. but he is one of muh fav people, i have kinda a mancrush, and yeah i do have some trust in him as a leader figure. i know he doesn’t go into public but i would like it if he did. i would like someone a little more extreme than spencer going public.

i also support giving dnations to matt Heimbach and traditionalist workers/youth.  they need to make that easier hehehe. and sell t-shirts.

meh. doing better today at cards than i was yesterday thats for sure. THANK GOD. yesterday i was way up, then lost it all. now i’m up again and just hope to keep it that way.

if a person doesn’t feel any CONNECTION to their race, they are prob more likely to race mix. so we should try to encourage a CONNECTION to our race.

now, women. is it TOO MUCH TO EXPECT? we said that women arent concerned with loyalty to the ingroup. they will just conform with whatever is STRONGEST, regardless of race. but maybe if their FATHER can instill a connection to her race, that would be good.

i feel a strong connection to muh race and say ABSOLUTELY NOT to the idea of race mixing. MAYBE I would BANG a nonwhite just because I am insanely DESPERATE. but never marry, have rel, or have children with.

also wouldnt it be pretty symbolic for me to bang a young arab moslem gurl hahahaha. be like RACE WAR NOW. occasionally you see a 20 year old moslem gurl that is not terrible looking. but damn they probably have really hairy arms and smell terrible. i mean its a slippery slope and i shouldnt even joke about desperation banging a nonwhite.

aprl 13

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/charging-bull-artist-calls-out-debauched-feminist-perversion-of-fearless-girl/98896

women are sadists who enjoy destroying and ruining things sadistically, destroying things, turning the positive into negative hahaha.

wow who broke anglins heart hahahaha.

no i totally sympathize. but i just want to repeat that the women I personally know in real life, who all happen to be above 45 years old, do not seem this bad at all. someone needs to white knight for the over 45 women hahaha. they arent that bad. but yeah. the under 45s need to be physically restrained.

so are they like kali? or shiva? whats the difference?

i also heard about this kalki, who is the destroyer of FILTH. thats a great one for me. I would be kalki then.

heh that might be the most woman hating thread yet. i am pumping muh fist and saying YUSS YUSS YASS after every woman hating post.

https://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/worthless-marxist-whore-asks-is-it-time-to-deny-white-men-the-franchise/99009

hehehe probable joo in south africa sez its time to take away the vote from hwyte men in that country. pay your dues oppressors!

this is what RADICAL TRANSFORMATION looks like!!!!!

transformational leadership hehehehe.

well yeah i guess im looking to transform stuff to. meaning get the j’s out and put the hwyte man back in power hahahaha.

http://archive.is/lvijm

porn as a secret weapon by laksha darkmoon, i know ive seen this before, prob worth looking at, saw somebody on DS link it

ok looks pretty wise the JP hahahaha

https://www.darkmoonDOTme/2014/sex-plague-the-normalization-of-deviance-and-depravity-by-lasha-darkmoon/

ok this one looks pretty good too, i should start reading this site. if this is really a woman, they are pretty smart for a woman hahahaha.

 

WHEN YOU WANT IT DONE FAST *AND* RIGHT

april 5

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/women-running-5-dollar-tinder-scam-judenpresse-praises-them-as-heroes/96454

this guy eric striker i know ive liked some of his articles before. but this is a new low ahaha. i used to think my great business idea was to pay normie, non-hooker women to hang out with you and pretend to be interested in you. hangout hookers or hug hookers or cuddle hookers. pay 50 bucks for 15 minutes of cuddling, that kind of thing, to get kind of a GFE from a woman who was not an ACTUAL hooker.

so whats happening now is that normie, nonhooker, 20 year tinder slut college gurls are just saying send me 5 bucks and see what happens.

NOTHING. its actually pretty smart but TOTALLY jooish. of course men will pay for any hint of a woman and here we have a young attractive gurl who actually is taking advantage of that. she is getting hundreds of dollars a week from one slutty picture. DAMN.

you could probably also shake your CLOTHED tits and ass on camera and make a few hundred a week doing that. its kinda less slutty than actually fooking the guy or showing your tits. but it is very very very jooish and i wouldnt want a wife who did any of that shit.

im not even paying attention to the news. apparently trvmp is cucking and selling out to his joo kushner hahahah. and jooing over god emperor bannon. bannon kicked off security council. trvmp cucking to israel so they can use isis to take over syria and grab more land for israel hahaha.

i dont understand why israel just cant like take over a yuge part of syria right now and without the US’s involvement. i mean they are rich and they have bombz.

something about syrian gas attack, assad gassing children, and now trump needs to support israel in attacking assad and liberating syria or some shit

what if the US goes into syria and wipes out assad AND isis?  would that be ok? well i think actually assad is super dangerous because he is a legit threat to israel. kind of.

ok so russia is backing assad…..

israel is backing isis…..

US is on the fence….

iran….backing assad???

saudi arabia….backing isis??? because saudis are a joo puppet?? i cant remember hahahaha

so ivanka aka “yael” is totally jooed and her and kushner are manipulating daddy into war with russian and iran. that is the idea. and make shitloads of money off that war.

heh. well iran is pretty useless but it would be heartbreaking to go to war with RUSSIA. no more wars with whites. but i thought russia was jooed too?

there is a new guy on DS claiming to be a Washington Insider who worked to get Trvmp in, and is now feeling betrayed by stuff thats going on right now in that vein. nationalists like bannon on the way out, zionists and neocohens like kushner on the way up.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/bannon-kicked-off-national-security-council-wtf-is-this-shit/96768/

this story. some black pilling shit here hahaha. havent been wathcing news.

havent been reading GLR!

so this is trump softening and selling out to the joo basically, letting us all down. i guess its not surprising and we should enjoy the good times while they lasted. well we did!

so yeah i guess today was a big day. i have not watched any MSM yet, only read daily stormer forums and a lot of action on these stories. not really a bad way to get news hahaha althoguth this news does not sound good from here.

jordan is on the side of the joos.

so ww3 is going to be us, israel, jordan, saudi?, the joo N, the E Joo, vs syria, russia, china, iran?

and russia is going fly nukes into the US? i guess thats the plan hahahaha.

basically i am seeing shit TURNING for the first real time today. i mean i need to sleep on this a few nights like i do with anything thats even a medium deal.

so kushner is controlling trvmp thru daddys little gurl. yeah i mean it makes sense. i always knew that was gonna be a Chink in the Armour.  just wasnt sure how or when it would play out.

some people are full blown the end is near, you need to be prepping with food and ammo and gunz cuz there will be blood in the streets in the US

sheeeeeeeeit i guess i will be sorry for not being serious about prepping.

george feels having drama with some autistic tomboy weight lifting gurl he liked. then some stupid shit happened and she talked shit about him, he possibly talked shit about her, i dont care, im on georges side here hahaha. i am slowly raising my bet on him hahahaha.

pretty sure i am too old to be drafted into war for ZOG hahaha.

but i wont be able to defend muh fambly from negros and arabs when the power goes out for a month and people cant get gas or electric or food. so nonwhite mobs will roam the streets with gunz and we will need to protect our homes and families with gunz.

unless these are jooish anti-trump SHILLS trying to turn people against trump hahahaha with joo lies i mean i wouldnt be surpirsed by that either

whatever it is, i am certain the j’s are behind it. prove me fookin wrong.

some might think i am a J because I am so vehmently anti-j hahahaha. there’s really i can say to that except to tell you one of my best qualities is my GOOD FAITH. you can trust me to come in good faith and tell you what i believe is the truth. i might not be courageous to stand up for the truth though! but i come in good faith 99.99999999% of the time.

im not even RIGHT all of the time. but i will in good faith admit when i am wrong. shit i am wrong about 50% of things. and the other 50% of times, i just confused and Just Dont Know.

But I do know that I am right about these J’s. they have to go back.

Esp funny, since the vast majority of Actual Joos I’ve met in my life have been pretty much decent people. even the slutty leftist jooish women. they weren’t Evil People. I don’t THINK.

But the Joos as a WHOLE GROUP, have caused so much damage it cant be denied.

h0l0c0st denier? how about h0l0c0st TRUTH denier HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

most of the individual jooz i’ve met have been ok-to-pretty-darn-good people. but my problem is with the GROUP, not some individuals of the group, and their whole GROUP needs to go back. period. the good does not outweigh the bad.

they have turned our men into phaggots and our women into mudshark whores. they are a CANCER to our people. this has been going on for THOUSANDS of years in MANY different countries of goys.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/man-captures-images-of-jews-shape-shifting-in-and-out-of-their-white-disguise/96044

eric striker muh lad another great article hehehehe

THEY ADMIT IT THEMSELVES!!!! this is one thing that finally sold me. the PRETEND to be hwyte when they are apologizing for how evil and racist hwytes are, my fellow hwytes, you dont GET to tone police PoCs on the the systematic racism of police brutality……and then sooner or later, oy vey im jooish! and having pizza and wine for purim. oy vey! there are many atheist jews, its not just a religion! except when it is!

GLR is talking about this exact thing in WP on page 125 or so.  They are CONSTANTLY SHAPE SHIFTING and Shedding Skin whenever it suits them, between 3 main forms: a RELIGION, a RACE, and a NATION. we’re not this, we’re that! we’re not that, we’re this now!

you anti semite! you wouldnt say all catholics or all lutherans!

you anti semite! muh shoah, muh 6 gorillion!

the goddamn CHUTZPAH!!!!!!!!

HE CRIES OUT AS HE STRIKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that eric striker article above points this out brilliantly. curating some tweets from wagner clemente soto. who was following ME back in 2011 when i had a semi-political, semi-racial twitter. i was proto-alt-right in 2011 hahahahahahahhahahahahaha.

my fellow hwytes, we all benefit from hwyte privilege, and heres why, and we dont get to tone police and we dont get to tell PoCs how to feel bla bla bla bla. ALWAYS a joo! well….not always. I’ve seen actual hwyte people who talk like this. damn THOSE are SAD!

april 6

hmm still watching this twin peaks pilot. this is confusing af. i watched all of twin peaks once, all the way thru, one episode after the other, like 13 years ago.

shit i forgot about the race mixing with sheriff truman and the chinee bitch who had race mixed prior with the superrich capitalist mr packard. why do these powerful white men fall for this gold digging chinee skank?

theres some other degenerate stuff like laura palmers secret life, but thats not GLORIFIED like this race mixing. and the chinee woman is portrayed as all WISE and SERIOUS and PROFOUND and DEEP and important and respected and respectable. to be fair, she does have a low energy demeanor and is not all shrill……but marrying a superrich wood baron? come on. its obvious.

but yeah there is so much going on here. i dont remember ANY of this.

also i dont think its really fair to say good clean SMALL TOWN GOYIM are  THIS degenerate. youre WRONG about that DAVID LYNCH. sometimes people just ARE squeaky clean. I guess dale cooper and sheriff truman represent that. fine. i mean i can tell lynch APPRECIATES that nondegenness. i just think he appreciates the degen a little too much!

so am I against the lesbian shit in mulholland dr, one of muh fav movies of all time?

man. i can live with ditching woody allen, but i would be SAD about having to ditch dave lynch.

I really hope he doesnt joo out with the NEW twin peaks. that is the biggest thing he’s done in 10 years and it might be the last thing he ever does because he is getting OLD. i hope it isnt totally jooed. im sure it will be a LITTLE jooed because the ORIGINAL was a little jooed in 1990.

ok. had a dream last night with THAT WOMAN. i was talking to her and trying to get her to pay attention to me but she was ignoring me. this kinda happened in real life too. i just really hated being ignored by her. i know how that sounds. makes me the bad guy who always NEEDS something. and yeah i WAS that a bit too much.

anyway in dream she turned around suddenly and snapped, “I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope you get the help you so desperately need for your ANXIETY ISSUES.” then turned immediately back around and resumed ignoring me.

that was interesting. it basically says, no i DONT really care, take your stupid ISSUES and leave me alone.

which i guess is prob what she WAS actually thinking.

at THAT time, I WAS filled with severe anxiety about everything! now, not so much, thank GOD. I’m doing OK with ANXIETY, thank GOD. but negative attitude is still RAAAAAAGING.

dream did not ruin day. her appearance was very very brief. nowhere NEAR as bad as the dream i had with her like 5 days ago.

but yeah lesson is, NEVER be passive agressive with women. they hate it, and you hate it too. just rip the band aid off and say what you wanna say and get it over with.

had fairly unproductive day.  because people aren’t expecting me to create/publish/deliver something every 20 minutes, i can get away with procrastinating on shit. tasks that i SHOULD BE doing, but i get STUCK like a deer in headlights and just start clicking tabs. I’m not even ENJOYING the procrastination. I WANT to be doing my task. it would HELP if somebody were ON MY ASS every 20 minutes saying, lemme see where you are at here. ok, this isn’t working, so you do this now.

when this is not how normie adults work! they are self-starting!

so now I gotta play CATCH UP over the weekend. and get to a point by monday that I feel  I SHOULD have gotten to today. and then some, as a show of good will. good faith. extra added value.

so yeah. i can see why ANYONE hate passive aggressive wimpy shit, and i only ever do it with women, not men, and i do it because i am SCARED to say whats REALLY on my mind. never again.

sucks to be so red pilled you cant even enjoy twin peaks any more! shit remember the MOVIE was een more degenerate! remember that david lynch is kinda a pervert that likes to show tits and ass!

so he’s always been kinda jooed, but its DISAPPOINTING because you know he’s a goy at heart.  and in many ways luvs his inner goy as he should. but he also needs to defoo the joo within, and i dont think he will, if he hasn’t by age 75 or however old he is. the new twin peaks will prob be jooed wtih plenty of tits, ass, and dark sleazy jooish degeneracy.

but it will DEF get lots of people talking about david lynch, prob the most they ever did since the LAST twin peaks 26 years ago. i mean REALLY. how many people saw inland empire, let alone people like me who saw it literally 10 times.

however there is no one else ever who has tapped into this Scary Dark place that Lynch has. it is very primordial and very very terrifying, i guess i like that sense of fear.

and joos live their lives that way and want us to too. to be thrown in that black jooish void of chaos, fear, terror, horror. perhaps lovecraft was also getting at this. and lovecraft def knew the deal with the J’s! could lynch maybe do a good lovecraft story? MAYBE. MAYBE. but i cant see lynch adapting other people (see dune) and i cant see lovecraft being made into a film. even a crazy lynch film.

but yeah. even in “squeaky clean” 1990 twin peaks, where 99.999999% of people are whyte except for the chinee and a few injuns, people dress like its 1950, they still all do degen shit like Cheating and Cocaine and Fornication.

High school kids that are 25 years old and cheating and fooking and doing coke! come on!

EVERYBODY is cheating on their husband or wife! I forgot about this aspect.

It’s nice that it shows women are dirty heartless bitches….but the men are no better! they are just as sleazy….and even STUPIDER.

COME ON DAVE!!!!!!

i mean its not like i didnt know what twin peaks WAS. and that it was like this 26 YEARS ago.

is The Subconscious Inherently Jooish? I don’t know. I don’t think so, even though a lot of jooish shit IS subconscious, like everything Freud talked about. your subconscious wants to fook your own mother. have your mother peg you with a strapon. jooish bullshit like that.

like your (((((((id)))))))) is at core, this jooish hideous thing ….. or at best, just a muh dick negro!

no theres a hwyte PERSPECTIVE on the subconscious, that you have this noble core, or maybe some kind of shared European Subconscious.

heh. i wish lynch would use his transcendental meditation to meditate more on THIS. on his hwyte soul. he obviously is getting into some very deep corners of the soul. just wish he could show more of the good hwyte parts.

so no I dont believe he is racially aware and I would love for him to be.

he’s always been one of muh favorite filmmakers. but so was woody allen. who ive since disavowed. i would not be so HAPPY about disavowing lynch because he’s far less jooish than allen.

another great example. harmony korine. he made two excellent movies, gummo and julien donkey boy. i have seen both many, many times. i guess you could say he is a more jooish form of lynch! when i was young i had no concept of korine being jooish. in fact, i bet he might not even be obsessed with his own jooishness!

but after you are redpilled, you cant help, why is this Actual Joo showing Goys in such pathetic, degenerate ways? the horrible destroyed, broken, twisted, jooed people of those two movies.

when you’re young you enjoy it because you were EDGY and i bet he felt the same way when he was young and MADE the movies!

i didnt keep up with his later stuff. i wanted to, but he was SO inactive and eventually i lost interest. “mister lonely” was ok but nothing classic.

i did watch some fassbinder on his recommendation, guess fassbinder was a big influence on him. and guess what, fassbinder is i THINK hwyte but he MIGHT AS WELL be J. wont lie, i liked some of his stuff though. i actually watched about 33% of berlin alexanderplatz and it was pretty good. i was only starting to get redpilled then. not sure how i would have viewed the nazi element of that movie.

oh shit he did that movie ali fear eats the soul which was totally degenerate: an old white woman falls in luv with a big black arab buck ali. i think he was a BERBER from MOROCCO.

or this other one where fassbinder essentially played himself, a degen phaggot hungry for c0ck.

see, fassbinder is nothing to GLORIFY.

and neither is korine. but i can’t deny that JDB, I watched that movie MANY times during my youth and it left a BIG impression. TOO big, probably.

i’ve more or less disavowed korine and doing so didnt disappoint me so much as if i had to disavow lynch, was what i was getting at.

but the location of twin peaks is GREAT. SUPER hwyte. you really want to BE there. i am looking at maps of washington state trying to find a town that is most like twin peaks.

interesting that lynch has made great work both in the Urban and more Rural settings. i of course thinks he needs to crush the urbanite parts of himself. less LA and more missoula montana man.

i hate to think that FILM ITSELF is INHERENTLY jooish……but it HAS been TAINTED by jooish influence since the VERY beginning.

i havent had much desire to watch tv or movies the past couple of YEARS. i just have shit on as background noise while i am neckbearding on internet. blogging about joos and failure and women. losing at poker. reading white power and 1489 stuff hahahah.

heh. took 1 benedryl and 1 valium already so…mind is getting cloudy and tired, cant BLOG too much hehe.

but yeah dont like that my WORK was compromised today because i was so scatterbrained and indecisive. i couldnt GET AWAY with this at a REAL job. i would be FIRED.

so now, for doing BAD today, i need to do an equal amount of GOOD, OFF the clock, to REPAY them, and to “save” myself and my job.

in the real world, you run ragged all day SLAMMED with work being super busy all day…..then you play CATCH UP at home and on weekends, doing MORE work so that you looks even more productive, and can me unreasonable standards and not get fired.

you dont get to relax and do things related to you or or family. you must nervously do MORE WORK to try to stop from getting sucked under in the undertow.

and you CERTAINLY dont get a whole day to SLACK OFF just clicking through a bunch of TABS and not really PRODUCING anything because youre just like well I DUNNO HOW TO DO THIS REALLY and now muh mind is going blank. maybe i should go on DISABILITY because MUH ISSUES have made me UNABLE TO WORK hahahahahahahaha.

there was one time IRL where that woman did turn and snap at me. i was whining like a beotch about a tuff day at the job hoping she would commiserate with me, that it was tuff for her to, and we could both bond over hating the job, and i sounded like a weak bitch, and she snapped LEAVE. PLEASE LEAVE. which was the most direct thing she ever said to me. i was shocked. i mean it totally makes sense, i totally understand why she did it.

and when our rel ended she essentially did the same thing but did not even say 2 words. but yeah that first time was like a prelude. i was hoping she would apologize for that but no i of course apologized LIKE A BITCH. STOP APOLOGIZING. NEVER APOLOGIZE. especially not out of weak desperation. i was in a pathetic, desperate, helpless, hopeless state. that is my excuse hahahaha. sometimes i GET really hopeless and desperate hahaha.

but yeah in that first snapping i was hoping for more sympathy, an apology, something that she was trying to see it from my side and not trying to be a bitch hahahaha. since i never got that, i feared she thought the worst of me when she really dumped me.

but yeah th edream wasnt that bad. i was much more frustrated by not being able to make any progress on my work. it was more like i was autistic because i couldnt visualize how the end product would look, so i could barely even muddle through on Just Doing Something until it Started To Look Like Something. i KNOW thats the best way to appoach this and I still didnt do it. was i scared? i was more distracted than SCARED. although i would have been just as unproductive if id been scared/anxious/nervous.

but yeah gonna sleep well tonight. still have 2 benedryls left to take haha. plenty of people at card table right now. too bad i am so tired. could literally go to sleep right now. it is start of muh weekend. muh longass nonnormie weekend.

well i CAN tell you that the MUSIC of twin peaks stands the test of time. great, great music. been listening to the soundtrack a lot in past few months, and i think there is some extra stuff in the actual show. and its all good. love every piece of music on there. no jooish bullshit. i had a surprising vision of Being In A Band and playing the “Mr Cool Theme” with them. this is the Cool Jazzy theme with the fingersnaps and what may be a marimba. i dont know what the official name of the song is.

but yeah all the boys are muh dick white negro jock chads fooking all the slutty staceys. except they are one upping the boys in evil, by getting some strange k0ch from pure evil satanic jooish outsiders from a primordial void hahaha. so yeah thats kind of nice seeing these evil women. but the men are degen and dumb. except for dale cooper. and sheriff truman except for his ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING YELLOW FEVER. goddamn that always rustles and triggers me. i cant recall any other yellow fever in lynch’s stuff, or any race mixing for that matter.

i dunno. i just dont think it ROTS THE SOUL to watch a basically good goy playing with some jooish degen, as it does to watch some hand rubbing merchants actively crafting the most degen shit they can because it projects their filthy souls and destroys goys souls.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/for-the-sake-of-all-that-is-good-female-sexual-choice-must-be-suppressed/96932

interesting

breaking news, trump firing 50 tomohawk missiles at syrian air base RIGHT NOW, it has BEGUN, trvmp starting a WAR FOR JOOZ.

the missiles could be fake news tho hahahaha

joo don rickles dead at 90 today

i guess the tomahawk thing is on live tv news right now. just looking at twitter. will turn news on in about 30 minutes, watch 5 minutes, then got to sleep haha.

so…..just to be clear. i mean i would probably support US going in and bombing the shit out of ISIS. but how many normies understand he’s not bombing isis, he’s bombing assad, who isis is fighting against? so technically we on isis’s side here. and i guess israel would rather have isis in power than assad. not sure how or why assad has been such a Strong Bulwark against Israel.

Because assad has made alliances with China, Russia and Iran?????

bbbbut wont Trumps BASE be against this? trump supporters arent gonna like this any more than hillary supporters! i just dont get it!

apr 7

john thicc

i dont know why, i just found this meme funny. probably because this new black text word THICC is so ridiculous. you text a white mudshark slut DAYUM GURL DAT AZZ THICC  😂 😂 😂 💯💯💯

and then beautiful dumb 25 year ol white gurls with no children bend their thicc azz over for your BBC and let you fook them and give them their first of many sprog bastards ahahahahaha

spent like 15 minutes trying to refind that meme on daily stormer bbs hehehehe.

the great WEEV has been moved to make a video on it. havent watched it yet but I guess he’s saying something like i would say: lets give a few more days and see how this plays out, maybe its 4D chess hhahahaha, although it looks really bad right now, like trvmp is selling out. lets give him one chance hahahaha.

got like 10:30 of sleep which seems to be “normal” for nonwork nights as opposed to around 7 hours when i am getting up at 5am. which I do not complain about. 5am is a RESPECTABLE time to get up and makes me more normie, more winner, sheeeit i SHOULD get up at 5am on non work days just to make me a better, hwyter man! its a very hwyte, principled, ubermensch, hyperborean time to get up! its when hard working men of action, men with hwyte wives and families get up, at the latest!

actually REAL ubermensches get up at 3 am. THREE AM.

im not even really GETTING up at 5am. at 5am my alarm rings and I just watch tv news from 5 to 5:30 and drink coffee and try to not fall back asleep hahaha. the time passes REALLY quickly. nrmally 30 minutes do not pass this fast.

GOT to do some errands today. might do to walmart and buy new blue pants. really LUV their GEORGE 12 dollar pants. have 2 pair already and they are both awesome. figure why not buy 1 more.

the pants are damn near perfect. they look kind of underwhelming but then look and fit great when you put them on. absolutely no buyers remorse ever here. thank GOD. i am tempted to just stock up in case they stop making these pants, so i can have replacements when they wear out.

heh. cable tv watchathon right now. they have the orig twin peaks series. wonder if they have netflix movies. i wonder if they have the turin goddamn horse hahahahaha

hmm i could watch my other fav movie mulholland drive right now. do not have turin horse. not really surprised there.

i am doing laundry so not totally neckbearding.

debating whether to get haircut today. i SHOULD but I might not.

trump thing is weird. now the JY Slimes is reporting how “far right white nationalists and the alt right” are turning against trump because these far right racists are anti-war hahahaha.

funny when the FAR RIGHT are antiwar! hahahaha.

well i think they always HAVE been. its only EVER been NEOCOHENS who ever WANTED war! quite literally, jooz start all the wars in the world! well, in the modern world at least. since world war 1 at least hahaha.

like i said, trump supporters dont support this move, hillary and bernie supporters dont support this move. you have to ask, who DOES support it?

WHO, INDEED. TO ASK THE QUESTION IS TO ANSWER IT.

I guess that might redpill normies.

i mean NO ONE is saying this is a great idea. the best you get is, lets sleep on it a few days and see if it might play out well in the world of 4d chess. which it might. this is kind of where I am at. if it leads to a pattern of jooish trick after jooish trick, WHICH IT WELL MIGHT, then we can officially disavow trump and weep bitter tears of butthurt.

sheeit laundry is done.

ok folded and put away white t shirts. whites load hahahaha. there is actually a russian hwyte power band called whites load hahahahahahaha.

its possible the average normie amerifat might think syria is synonymous with isis, so that this attack is a good thing, because its an attack against isis. i agree that WOULD prob be a good thing!

but syria is NOT isis! syria is basically assad and HE is AGAINST isis! he is also pro-russia, pro-iran, and very anti-israel.

but arent ISIS anti-israel too?  i think they THREATEN israel much less than assad though.

but doesnt isis threaten us in the increasingly non-whitening West becuase ALL the terror attacks in the west are isis related?

assad supports syrian christians against slaughter by isis.

its safe to say all trump supporters want to see isis destroyed.

what if trump destroyed both assad AND isis?

would there then be a “power vacuum” which israel/US would then fight russia/iran over?

so in other words, assad is the only thing preventing WORLD WAR 3, and the US directly attacked him?

if i were smart enough to get into HARVARD i might UNDERSTAND all of this. i could just be a black and write #blacklivesmatter 100 times on my application essay and get into harvard hahahahha.

i should be more worried about me being Frozen and Unproductive at muh job. i might not be fired but i would def be Frowned Upon and Shunned and perhaps try to be Pressured to Quit hahahaha. but wouldnt they then give me GOOD references, because they want me OUT?

ok im gonna go to walmart, just walmart. i have a gift card anyway. its gonna be full of blacks and arabs though!

maybe i should try going to the “better” walmart?

i mean i HAVE to spend this WALMART gift card at specifically WALMART.

what would JOHN THICC do hahahaha that is the stupidest shit i have ever seen.

lets just fookin GO and get this over with. ok i did another mini chore. done. tried to do another mini chore involving a phone call, called them, they were out to damn lunch. a phone call about health care billing, hahahah talk about a lose lose situation. basically i am paying for a doctors office visit for what I think is In Full at the time of the visit, then I get a bill from the Health System 2 months later saying I owe MORE, like a Lot more. this happens every time, and every time I call the dr’s office and they “clear it up.” something about the communication between the doctors office and the health care System Billing Dept. I dont know whose fault it is. THEY probably dont know whos fault it is. i mean it looks unprofessional on both of them imho but as long as i can make one phone call and not have to pull teeth and speak to managers…shit its exactly the type of phone call I would HATE getting and HATE explaining…..because there IS no explanation! situations normal – all fooked up! that’s the explanation!

god almighty i would never want to work in medical billing, can you even imagine how jooish and horrible that is? jooish insurance companies and jooish hospitals all trying to joo poor patients as much as possible in ridiculously confusing, jooish ways, and who does the billing but single mom mudsharks and 80 IQ blacks when it would take 120 IQ just to understand the jooish complexities of this needlessly complex billing!

heh. get a masters degree in medical billing. that job might even be in demand. you might even make 18 bucks an hour with that one!

listen man i can do some calculus integrals and some CompSci 202 level coding, but i cant do basic bitch 11 dollar an hour medical billing and insurance questions! those are CONFUSING AF!!!!!!! the people taking those calls all day should be making at LEAST 18 dollars an hour, if not 20 hahaha.

call the doctors office, they said the billers werent in on fridays and to plz call back monday. HUH????? ok fine.

i have noticed a Pain Point for your business hahaha. I would solve it by having a Student Intern take billing phone calls on fridays for FREE hahahahaha. or, hire a negro or mudshark for 9 dollars an hour and have them be totally incompetent hahaha.

i just feel SORRY for these low level employees who arent TRAINED properly. there is a local political controversy where this elected official’s office is in total disarray, and all the new employees under them have no idea what they are doing. they are all young, poor, blacks making 11 dollars an hour, prob part time no benefits, and customers write to the local paper saying the Help Is Incompetent, nobody knows what they are doing, nobody is trained, what used to take you 5 minutes under the previous administration now takes an hour, its disgraceful.

i sympathize with the poor slobs on the frontlines trying to help people with their confusing questions! they are probably going to ask for a manager, but the manager is out to a looooooong lunch with crooked italian contractors getting drunk at the titty bar!

well at least italians are hwyte hahahahahahha. but these are the very sicilian nonwhyte arab looking italians always hhahaha. no thank you!

the sad thing is i know i applied for like 3 jobs in this department. it was prob a revolving door of people quitting or getting fired because the management is SO BAD it has become a PUBLIC SCANDAL in the local news.

well a lot of the people are unfirable, union tho.

its confusing. hire a 80 IQ negro to splain it to me for 9 dollars an hour hahaha.

see what i mean? TRAINING. I think even 80 iq people could do this if TRAINED properly. also, 120 people are still going to struggle if they dont have the correct INFORMATION to do the job. PLUS, its hard even for SMART people to answer Tuff Problems if they are being Pressured by Angry Assholes to work faster, do better.

they dont prepare you for this in skool or college and they should.

Hire ME. when you want it done fast AND done right. it doesnt matter what it is.

that is gonna be my new calling card. I do things fast AND right. everything.

ok got back from WALMART. i am happy to have accomplished something today. do one thing every day hahahaha. the place was absolutey FULL of blacks. some arabs but even more blacks. to the store managers credit, the store LOOKED just fine. clean and organized. got some great 12 dollar george pants, the best pants ever. again these pants are so good i should buy EXTRA. its HARD to find good pants let along GREAT pants. also found nice Faded Glory T Shirt with stripes on it. i like T shirts with some sort of design like stripes on it. this is remarkably hard to find.

did a first and bought the walmart brand BEEF. 80 20. i was wary but the beef looked all right. it was all in 2.25 pound packs for…. 6.94 each.  this is 3.08 per pound. not bad. with this I will make juicy 3 oz meatballs hahahaha and with those make THICC meatball burgers hahahaha.

😂  👌👌👌

fookin BLAX hhahaha. BLACK MEMES are essentially what these are. emojis. ebonics in text form.

used up my gift card at walmart. place was so full of blacks. i survived but my god the customers. the people of walmart. made me want to try another walmart next time.

my usual store is a supermarket like walmart but its generally hwyter, definitely better PEOPLE there. going to the closest walmart is like going to baltimore or some shit hahahaha. i am thankful my immediate area and my local supermarket are largely still hwyte. i care about these things. i am racially aware hahahahah.

the other thing that sucks about walmart is that they dont have small hand baskets like i usually use. today they didnt even have the small pushcarts, just the large pushcarts. so i had to grab everything and hold it in muh bare bear arms hahahaha.

heh what the hell is the “deep state”. seeing this term being thrown around a lot. probably just means the jooz like kushner controlling trump hahahaha.

globalists. well i mean thats a good way to describe da jooz. so i am all for people talking about the evil globalists! i mean the term has gone mainstream!

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/an-extremely-unfortunate-turn-of-events/97362

anglin’s semi official statement on the syrian thing

http://www.dailystormer.com/duke-striker-on-the-jewish-elites-role-in-the-usa-drug-epidemic/

looks like eric striker who wrote that EXCELLENT article on the opioid epidemic and a number of other great articles on DS, has had a talk with david duke on his opioid article. who the hell is this striker, he has a lot of potential hehehe.

see some thing in local paper about high school in very hwyte semi rural redneck area and there is a young man with a 4.0 gpa who loves the high school auto repair/tech program and now he is gonna go to college to do an engineering degree in something diesel related. he seemed like a healthy happy normie. i was jelly of the young man who at age 17 says, i wanna do my career in DIESEL. design and build huge diesel engines. which there is huge money in this. repairing engines of 600000000000 dollar pieces of mining equipment which have huge diesel engines. huge machinery and engines normies cant even THINK of.

but he clearly got his interest in diesel from doing his high school auto tech program.

then i am jelly my high school didnt have an auto program because they were trying to prepare everyone for UNIVERSITY. then i think, if they had an auto program, would I have done it? if they HAD an hvac or auto or welding or electrician or cnc machining or some sort of trade program…..would I have done it????? its impossible to say.

this is possibly the best taake song and captures everything great about his style. it is very masculine and high energy. yet also grim. i cant rightfully call it “cold” cuz its very hot-blooded. also rather than repeating one riff 60000000 times like boortzum, he crams 6000000000 riffs into one song like technical death metal or something. BUTTTTTTTTT all those riffs flow PERFECTLY. the amount of air guitaring, air drumming i do throughout basically this whole song is insane. it only slows down in the last 30 seconds.

i will be obnoxiously calling for this song at the taake concert and hopefully will rustle hoest’s jimmies hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah i am happy about the walmart george 12 dollar pants. flat front, classic/normie fit, at that perfect intersection of looking fancy but not super fancy, and a cotton/polyester blend so they are both light and soft. best fooking pants ever.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/15024506?wmlspartner=wlpa

these are the pants, i’m 90% sure hahahaha. buy 4 pair right now and thank me later. i have gray, khaki, and now blue. i am tempted to get the black ones too.

WHAT WOULD JOHN THICC DO?

heh this is really a shit tier meme that wont ever take off, only i think its funny because its so goddamn bad.

also the faded glory striped tshirt is great. fooking great. this is why i like walmart. nice clothes for a nice price. i mean its way more expensive than the thrift store, but i rarely find anything good at the thrift store.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/11-year-old-boy-kills-self-after-gf-fakes-death-i-blame-single-motherhood/97270/

great comments hahahaha

every link i link is to daily stormer hahaha.  i am not anti TRS, i jsut am taking a temp break from them.

never do you find a dog that fires his owner because he wants to find a better owner. leaves his owner for seemingly greener pastures. i am trying to make a point about women hahahaha. dogs are loyal, women are not like dogs, women know no loyalty hahahaha and that sucks.

well they are loyal to brute strength arent they? i mean didnt we conclude that this all MADE SENSE? if YOU could get preggers wouldnt you stop being loyal to your PROTECTOR as soon as he showed he wasnt STRONG enough to protect you any more?

seeing all this stuff about “greater israel” which i guess is what israel wants to expand to, to basically go all the way to the persian gulf, take over large areas of syria, iraq, and saudia arabia, probably pick up a lot of oil in the process.

ever wonder why you never see an ISIS attack in israel??? hehehehehe.

👌

hahahaha

oh yeah. so lets say you go to normie degen high school. wouldnt you HAVE to see a few white mudshark slut girls, even if there were only 2 black kids in your school? they would certainly be banging white sluts.

in other words, maybe most (hwyte) men HAVE personally experienced mudhsharks, ie personally known women who have done it.

but were they CLOSE to them? did they really KNOW the women? did they CARE about them and WANT them? only to be brutally rejected for the mud? or were they just that dirty pathetic mudshark ho over there, it never really affected you on a deep level, never helped you become racially redpilled?

i mean i never met any mudsharks until i was like 25 years old simply because i didnt know many women. and if the few women i had met prior to that were fooking blacks…..well i just didnt KNOW about it.

i mean you gotta KNOW the women well enough to at least know WHO they are fooking. do you even know HALF the women you know that well?

oh shit so every women is a mudshark unless proven otherwise hahahaha guilty until proven innocent.

hahaha no but seriously, i would say innocent until proven guilty. and its not like i had to do cia shit with these women. they POST the shit on FACEBOOK!

yeah but im not on facebook anymore so how am i gonna do mudshark recon? well i figure just ask any women i get to know personally. jsut ask them. half the time they will be truthful. yeah ive been with blacks what it to you? you a racist or something? yes i am, now gtfo mudshark!

 

THE WQ

apr 1

had a not fun dream which featurely That Woman prominently. there was this prostitution section at a mall or something where the hookers had little rooms and you could look at them before signing up. like a brothel or red light district i guess. to my horror i found her in there. being a hooker. she still looked great, except now she had some shitty tattoos on her nice white body where before she had none. i talked to her for a little bit but couldnt bring myself to “hire” her. i came back the next day and was more determined to “hire” her but i guess she wasnt in that day. i talked to one of her Clients who also really liked her, because she was the best fook ever, she did EVERYTHING and was so GIVING and enthusiastic.

i recall one image of her bending over with her beautiful long hair going over her beautiful white skin which was now covered in white trash tattoos and i was like welp those tattoos are a shame, but i still want her. i am not over her.

then i woke up at 5 am and was like welp that sucks. i still want her. i am not over her.

andrew anglin is right. women are like children. i bet if i contacted her NOW with enough confidence and charisma, i could meet up with her and bang her and ideally make her my waifu. i could play this game just right and live with her happily ever after. hopefulyl she doesnt have any shitty tattoos or any damn KIDS, and hasnt been with TOO many black guys in the past 2 years. i bet she still looks good and has nice hair and nice skin and nice legs.

i didnt want to go back to sleep because i felt i would go right back into that dream. but i also kinda wanted to “see her” again. but i knew this would bother me all day. so i laid awake and worried about it for a while and said welp ITS JUST A DREAM, yes it sucks, but it doesnt mean i’m not getting over her, or that i’m not 80% over her, in a few days, i’ll barely remember this, and NO i should NOT contact her, or look her up on the internet. fook no. do NOT do that.

then i got back to sleep pretty well, and no more dreams of her hahaha. thank god.

but yeah. just that lingering thought that if i came at her NOW like a totally super masculine tough guy, i could probably “win” her. and i was tempted to play that act. but i could only play that act for so long and then she would dump me and i would be heartbroken again.

and wa wa wa i will never WANT a woman as much as this again. and this kind of WANTING, yeah its “just” a chemical drug, but it totally effectively bonds people together, makes commitment possible, and ideally you want to MARRY and have CHILDREN with someone you get that chemical for…..and if you dont…..should you have children with them? i mean its clear many people do anyway.

well you can still be a good parent even if you dont like your wife hahahahaha. but your wife has to still be willing not to be a hostile bitch to you, esp in front of the children.

thankfully i got a few more hours of decent sleep and no more dreams about HER, that helped.

heh that darn article. maybe it got me thinking i could “win her back” after all thsi time, if I just came back as a total tough guy, and never let the mask slip. it would be risky, but its a risk worth taking right? i mean she is the last woman i will ever luv right? hahahahaha. what do i have to lose?

now in the light of day i can thankfully see, nope not a good idea. btu right after I woke up from that darn dream, yeah i was tempted. oh i’ll take her back even if she is a literal prostitute.  she has a spell on me.

then i thought it might be good to go to an actual hooker. shit go to a FEW.

yeah it is troubling the thought i should try to contact her, present a totally different face to her, act like i am a total tough guy, that would be a enough to fool her, and maybe i could fake it till i make it long enough for her to become loyal to me.

i mean i’m gonna have to do this with ANY woman ANYWAY, faking it till i make it as a masculine tough guy. not just her. but HER i have actual feelings for, i want to be with! she actually MEANS something to me!

rational response: if ANY young qt gurl is NICE to me and shows Sweet Feminine Warmth and Interest in me, I would very well get feelings for her TOO. basically she was acting in a way that ANY woman can act – sweet and nice and kind and friendly. that wasnt unique to HER. its just a huge TRIPLE WHAMMY to get that from a cute young hwyte gurl who is fairly secsually INNOCENT.  IE, a low-number woman.  and then she continues to be nice to you for a few years and you get to know her and you see she isnt a total destructive degen baby monster.

maybe the dream was just a grim, totally unfunny april fools joke. note: april fools jokes are SUPPOSED to be FUNNY. not morale-destroying hahaha.

sheeeit the mudshark thread on DS forum i replied to and was scared to look at for fear of people calling me a untermensch race traitor phaggot, well i learned i got at least 10 likes on my post, and also the thread was REMOVED so you cant even read it, prob cuz it got too controversial, but i HOPE they didnt attack the principled hwyte man who was trying to teach his mudshark white young female employee a valuable life lesson about not being a dirty mudshark. stop now before its too late. maybe he got attacked for being a WHITE KNIGHT and they MAN SHAMED him hahahaha. which would be bad and worthy of shutting down the thread.

read a book on how to train a very catlike dog. or better yet, how to train a CAT. then you will be able to TRAIN women.

anglin’s women thread is growing and growing. somebody posted the picture of him with his qt blonde GF. her hair his covering her face so she is not doxxed, but clearly she is attractive, and he is looking smug, rightfully so. i am suspicious that she is a trifling thot and dumped him and broke his heart! maybe he didnt TRAIN her well enough, maybe he didnt pick a righteous enough woman, but god damn, i just hate that men have to do 99% of the work and women only 1%, or else the man is a shameful loser. can’t women do 25% of the work? thats all I’m asking.

i dont EXPECT them to do 50% of the work or even 40%. but 25%??? COME ON. YOU CAN DO THAT MUCH. EVEN A 14 Year old gurl could do that much.

the danger here is that i am convincing myself to contact her. i cant come up wiht a good reason NOT to. i have nothign to lose. well, other than i will be devastated when she dumps me again . yeah but that will be my FAULT because women have no FAULT or RESPONSIBILITY ever. they one dump you if you let them get away with it and dont TRAIN them properly.

stupid god damn DREAM making me even THINK contacting HER is a remotely good idea. shit. fook. just wait a couple days and i will be back to “normal.” hehehe.

i say just try to bang women as quickly as possible, and when you do, YOU dump THEM, because you dont want a SLUT who bangs quickly as the mother of your children, you want a decent woman. but by all means bang her 500 times so you get more natural at being physical and confident with women. that can only HELP you in the long run. which is maybe why i need to meet casual sluts from okcupid, or hookers from the erotic review.

shit i desperately WANT another woman to REPLACE her and break this CURSE she has on me, and i worry this will never happen. well then I’ll just be cursed again, is that really any better? YES, because its NOT HER! the memory of HER is like an evil jooish parasite in muh brain! there was more bad than good and I wish I could FORGET IT ALL. even the good. because the GOOD WASNT WURF IT.

there was more bad than good and i wish i could forget the good. there was a decent amount of good though. but a fookton of bad.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/dear-men-who-wish-to-be-allies-to-women-12-things-you-need-to-know/95757

anyway there was a time wheni was having like 3 dreams about HER a week. but the shitty thing about this dream is that it proves i’m not fully over her, and that i could still totally RATIONALIZE the idea of contacting her. i WONT, but.

i mean shit. this was TRVE LUV. OF COURSE it takes a LONG time to get over. AT LEAST 2 YEARS.

BUt yeah i thought she CARED about me more. thats all hahaha. near the end it was like she didnt care at all. when things were good it seemed she CARED about me quite a bit. I don’t mind being Cared About by a Nice Person who I cared about too!

oh well its been over for 2 years and i hate all women nao hahaha its all part of THE PROCESS. TRUST THE PROCESS.  would LUV some MJ though. LUV LUV LUV.

i dont think i would have gotten the Luv Drug Chemical Oxytocins and Vasopressins and Dopamines and Endorphins if That Woman had not been ATTRACTIVE. if she were UGLY, i don’t think anything would have happened. i wish she had jsut been ugly! she had kinda a horse face but any man would have found her attractive, if perhaps “a bit plain.” but then again, a bit plain is my TYPE if there ever was one!!!

a little plain, but not UGLY.

and believe me, many women are on the ugly side of plain!

anyway. right or wrong (probably wrong hahaha) i had deep feelings for her and that was the truth. they were not logical, but they were REAL, and by GOD is it taking FOREVER for them to go away, because that is the reality of these feelings. that’s NORMAL.

it didnt matter that she didnt care about me, all that mattered was that she was young and purty and a halfway decent person and that we knew each other. i mean if i hadn’t KNOWN her for 3 years then she would just be like some random young qt gurl I didnt know.

anyway who cares. just hope i dont have a dream about her tonight.

i mean really this is just normal. normies go through this too. Only its maybe only 60% as painful hahaha. what do they do? they DRINK and bang SLUTS. i cant really do either of those.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/mudshark-and-retard-trolling-with-ya-main-goy-heilkek88/95052/16

this has the potential to get really good, the kid doesnt seem too sharp but he has some balls ahahaha. anyway you can just ask these sluts how many partners they have had. the 20 year old gurl said 4.

thats really not TOO bad!!!!! I mean I normally would allow a max of 2 by 20 for a marriageable gurl but a fat slut on POF, 4 by 20, damn I would have thought 8 to 10 by 20 at LEAST!

chris cantwell is doing a livestream in blackface pretending to be a black guy. his stock is going up in my market hahahaha. i guess he was banned from doing streams on youtube so now he is on this thing called ustream. looks like varg is going from youtube to this thing called vidme. hope that works out for him, i mean he’s entitled to make money from his vidyas, no reason not to!

sent a 5 dollar dnation to DAILY STORMER because i donate to him once every 3 months and apr 1 is the start of another 3 months.

there is like 4600 dollars in his wallet right now. hopefully that will keep DS going for a few more months hahahaha.

apr 2

no dreams about that woman last night thank GOD.

sunday. nice sunny day. went for powerwalk at 11am, try to go for another.  weird irritated and congested feeling in throat which not sure if “allergies” to possible pollen from the Coming Spring, or if it is a Wirus of some sort.

Doing Just Sunday Things namely charging everything that can be charged; triming beard down to level 2.

if you slap a woman open handed in the face like sean connery or steve mcqueen in the movies, that’s probably ok. but to fully beat the shit out of a woman, thats probably never ok ahahha. no closed hand, no prolonged beatings. just one light slap on the face, open hand. it’s more SYMBOLIC than anything. you arent trying to physically hurt her. again, I am much much more comfortable with spanking. there you dont have to be so gentle. you can make it hurt a little. how much long term damage is a spanking going to cause anyway. now i’m not talking about WHIPPING them with a cane or bullwhip with 20 severe lashes that would break the skin like the black slaves in the movies have horrible scars on their backs. I’m just talking about 10 good smacks with your open hand.

i fully intend to do this and I fully expect it to work WONDERS. if i could have spanked that woman it would have worked wonders. but we never even hung out. getting in a room alone with her for 5 minutes was too much to ask.

also you should never ever do any spanking or slapping in public. that is some negro bullshit. i mean unfortuantely there ARE white trash men who BEAT and ABUSE their women, and unfort these women are too fooked up to leave these men, because they dont realize all they really need is a spanking, not having their head smashed against the wall. god damn. you think sean connery or steve mcqueen did that shit hahaha. nope. the thought should HORRIFY you as it does me. just one mild slap on the face to cool her off when she is starting to get hysterical. its easier to do quickly and tactically than a spanking, which is a long formal procedure and ritual. very time intensive. slap first, spank later.

also if i had slapped that woman i dont think it would have helped. dont slap a woman until you have fooked her at least 10 times hahahaha.

maybe practice slapping her in the face while you are spanking her, if, like me, you are much more comfortable with the idea of spanking than slapping. i mean slapping just seems much closer to “ABUSE.” it’s really NOT if done the right way: just one time, open hand, not super hard, again, it’s a SYMBOLIC gesture.

but would it have really ever helped me? well i might have been able to spank the sluts from 12-13 years ago because they let me get Physical with them. but still it was damn near impossible to hang out with them, spend time with them. i spent barely any time with them, barely got to know them at all before i was dumped hahaha. so basically no, spanking or slapping wouldnt have been the magic bullet there, because i didnt even know them LONG enough to get AWAY with spanking them!

The Female Question. The Women Question. it is god damn important and a good gateway into 1433. better that it leads to 1433 than to mgtow! which it easily can!

basically even by traditional patriarchial 1433 standards, i’ve never “known” a women well enough to be able to slap her hahaha.

well i guess you would be more entitled to spank than slap a woman you were just “casually dating.” just start off incorporating it into the degen casual secs. then once she likes you enough to hang out with you once a week you can slowly start Sl4pping her if she mouths off hahahaha.

i am not advocating VIOLENCE, the slapping is NOT VIOLENT.

spanking is a great idea….but it never would have helped me! damn!

basically i am just needily begging to hang out until i get dumped hahahaha. meaning they dont want to hang out any more ever again hahaha.

so how the hell do you make women want to hang out with you? BE MASCULINE. BE TOUGH. BE A MAN. at least FAKE being a man, that’s good enough for Most Women anyway hahahaha. maybe focus on asian or black girls hahahahahahaha no i kid. dont do that.

but yeah spanking is great and i would luv to get a chance to use it, but you cant just use it on casual broads. i mean you got to have enough skill to pull a woman in the first place.

but yeah. you need something else to keep you STRONG than some loving waifu at home to cuddle you and build you up. if she is your Rock, then she is gonna LEAVE you because you are WEAK. dont show her that weak side. better for you to find some private spot and cry like a bitch alone. or maybe run home and cry to your mama. literally! crying in front of your male friends is not recommended. maybe your female friends? hahahahaha. if they are totally ugly in every way, maybe. how about a shrink, or better yet, a PRIEST.

heh there is a guy on DS who makes AA look like a white knight woman lover hahahaha. he is complaining about the “feminist mods” and pretty much asking to get banned. i guess they DO ban people from DS and also remove threads. they delete threads pretty regularly. why not just lock them? probably because there is some suggestion of violence and that ruins the whole thread. how about just delete those posts and lock the thread? because i guarantee some of those threads were decent. some of muh favorite threads eventually got deleted.

so yeah i guess if you are having tough times and feel stressed and weak…..DONT LET YOUR WOMAN SEE YOUR WEAKNESS OR SHE WILL LEAVE YOU. go cry to your:

  1. mother
  2. priest
  3. pay a shrink to listen to you cry
  4. find a private place and cry into a Teddy Bear ahahahahahahaha i’m not even joking.

whats the difference between a woman and a teddy bear? you can cry to a teddy bear and it wont LEAVE YOU hahahahahahaha.

then go lift some weights and only go back to your woman when you are prepared to put on your tough guy face and fook her hard.

i wish the women had more tolerance for weakness, but they JUST DONT, so ADAPT or GET DUMPED. There are other people and things you can show your weakness towards.

traditional catholics say that Adoration/Exposition of the Host is a magic bullet for them. that it turns lukewarm pvssies into crusading warriors for christ. basically getting up and going to church at 6 am before your Job and kneeling in front of the Host.  mother teresa said that if everybody did this for an hour a week it would end abortion.

yeah but this could be a self selection thing.  i mean lukewarm religious people arent going to go to church at 6 am to kneel and pray silently for an hour when its not even an official mass. i dunno.

now many people say that we should outlaw abortion for whites and keep it legal for blacks and nonwhites.

now in the US getting any kind of anti abortion law  would be YUGE and i dont think you could distinguish on race. in other words, i think a wholesale ban on all abortions for all races would be worth it ultimately just for the cultural anti-feminist change it would produce. that benefit would be worth all the nonwhite babies hahahaha. also i think they would find a way to do black market abortions anyway.

also have a few high profile cases where a woman who gets an abortion is convicted for MURDER.

basically reestablish the ideal that All Life Is Sacred and Worth Defending. this would make casual secs casual no more.  make people treat the secs act much more with the reverence befitting what it is: the process that creates new human life. the end.

or, as Anglin said “abortion is the crown jewel for feminism” or something similar. it basically is. take away abortion and you’ve taken away like 60% of feminism at least. the majority of feminism. jooish feminism. so yeah. i would take that gamble. ban abortion for all races. even though nonwhites proportionally get WAY more abortions. just HAVING it be LEGAL is VERY damaging to the MIND and SOUL of hwytes. knowing that its EVEN LEGAL is too damn much.

april 3

this guy puts it nicely QUOTE: ” It doesn’t matter, but probably. Our women need to be mercilessly shamed for merely being alone with them. Publishing it, broadcasting it, is just the same principle as f00king one, humiliating us. They know we can’t stand it. It’s why they do it. “Look, boys, this guy has a place in my social circle. He’s fly, he cool, he has my acceptance, where are you?” It’s how I look at it, now. ” END

from http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/anti-feminist-conservative-lauren-southern-bangs-based-black-conservative/96264/26

it implicitly says, you’re not cool enough to hang out with me, but this black guy is.

and this is probably a talented tenth, trump hat wearing, maga black guy! you STILL dont want them with qt white wimmin!

there is an argument that lauren southern is part J tho. i would not be shocked hahahaha.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/how-can-we-best-keep-our-daughters-and-our-sisters-from-engaging-in-miscegenation/96344

hope this one doesnt get deleted hahaha

i mean you shouldnt have to teach it, but i guess horny young teens. when i was 18 i would have banged an 18 year old nonwhite probably haha. joos and some indians can sometimes be bangable when they are 18 year old gurls hahaha. so if were a Horned Up white gurl wanting to get fooked by secsy BBC tyrone, well i would hope my father would Chain Me Up hahahaha.

i dont fookin know, i havent talked to a woman under 50 in 2 years, hahahahahahahaha. not even joking.

ok i am joking, i think i said good morning to a 35 year old woman recently.

but yeah i barely interact with women under 30, so i forget how easy they are to get all RUSTLED about.

like i say, if That Woman hadnt been YOUNG and GOOD LOOKING, I NEVER would have got feelz for her.

and then if the woman is NICE to you, GAME FOOKING OVER. GUARANTEED that you will fall in hopeless luv with her.

the end. next chapter.

it was INEVITABLE! the only SURPRISING thing is why I didnt happen SOONER. because I RESPECTED the boundaries of her relship with her original whyte boifran. which was right and proper and i don’t regret being whyte like that. her making ANY kind of new male friends WITHOUT breaking up with the boifran showed TERRIBLE JUDGMENT on her part. a good father would have said dont do that shit, thats some n3gr0 bullshit. slippery slope to being a dirty cheater or abortionist or mudshark.

maybe i should THANK the first gurl I knew who mudsharked because her mudsharking was probably a Racial Redpill for me! in other words, i might have not been so vehemently, viscerally against interracial fooking, until i EXPERIENCED the ugly side of it, simply by seeing a slut i sorta fancied, fooking a black guy! and seeing pictures of her smiling face next to him.

and then i was like FOOK THIS. there is NOTHING good about this. inter racial fooking is BAD.

and i CERTAINLY didnt need to go through that TWICE. and boy was the second time a million times worse! cuz i cared for the woman so much more, we were closer, it felt all the more insulting and disgusting to me. shit I already KNEW mudsharking was disgusting, i didnt need to see THIS! good lord I must have been HITLER in a previous life hahahaha.

i’ll bet half of white guys have never experienced a white girl rejecting them and then openly getting with a black guy. because if they HAD, then more guys would be RACIST hahahahaha.

but yeah. THAT WOMAN being a mudshark was just karmically CRUEL to me hahahaha. i already KNEW mudsharking was disgusting, and it didnt take a woman I cared a hella LOT about to teach me that lesson. when That Woman did it, it was just HEARTBREAKING.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/why-women-destroy-civilizations/3837/

nice quote from goy on that thread QUOTE ” The above quote from the video is why I stopped trying to understand how White women could be attracted to black men. They aren’t! They’re attracted to the rebellious, alpha male, image of black men that has been manufactured by J00ish media moguls. If White guys were portrayed in the same way, they would be considered just as desirable by these gullible, idiotic women who are glued to TV and Netflix.  ” END

NEVER FORGET. yeah i know this is all old, in response to black pigeons influential video from around that time.  although i guess it doesnt name the J at all. which is a bit naive and stupid. if you forget or dont know the J is behind this, then you just become a mgtow mra phagg0t.

i mean shit. women arent SMART enough to COORDINATE all this shit.

hmm there used to be a pretty good smart reasonable woman on DS. i think she left because the place became too unreasonable woman-hating hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

yeah yeah so i hate women because I am not a real man. but I am NOT a real, full man. so yes i DO admit that contributes to SOME of my woman-hate. BUT NOT ALL OF IT. another part of it is da J’s, and another part is the women themselves.

oh well almost 8 o clock bedtime hahaha.

april 4

i just dont know. its real easy to get cognitive distortions about women. you hear about one woman and you think ALL WOMEN are that bad. women are bad, dont get me wrong, but they might not be THAT bad.

for example, ask a gurl if she dates outside her race, perfectly valid question, because you shun and shame mudsharks. woman responds: IM NOT RACIST, but I just dont date black guys. Im not racist though.

don’t sperg out over her saying shes “not racist.” thats not important. NO WOMAN IS gonna say she IS racist, no normie PERSON would say this! only the top 10% of red pilled, JQ people would admit to being racist as being a GOOD thing, so dont EXPECT it out of people.

getting a woman to ADMIT that she has a PREFERENCE to NEVER date black guys, that is HUGE. might as well marry that woman.

now Dive Deeper hahaha. ask clarifying quetsions:

  1. have you EVER been with a black guy, and that’s where you’re getting that?
  2. so you’re saying you WOULD date like arabs and mexicans? what about a needle dicked little chinee man hahahalol rorororor!

in other words, most women say theyre not racist, THINK they are not racist, but they still Just Wont Date Black Guys, never have, never will, and this is fookin AWESOME.

just make sure that extends to arab guys too. i would THINK most women who disappear to dubai for a week for 50 grand to get SHIT ON, KINDA LOOK LIKE STRIPPER WHORES and NOT qt gurls next door.

there was that one female poster gafarlichtesmadchen or something like that who was pretty good and not just Good For A Woman, but an actual qualityposter. i think she was disgusted by DS’s anti-woman tone tho hahaha. sad! well i think AA is a lot like me in that he can work himself into a real anti-woman lather. i do the same thing. and then i need to tell myself, women arent really THAT bad, and THEN convince myself im not cucking or “white knighting.”

ok got some Robotussin here, i wanted something without acetominophen. i guess i could drink the whole bottle here and got Robotripping hahahaha. i mean its because i have a cough and kinda sore throat and coughing and congesting and otherwise would be taking 90000000 cough drops.

so thats a great point. you can ask the woman during your first volley of questions, do you date outside your race, and how many guys have you been with, and sometimes they will tell you flat out. im 20 years old and i have been with (fooked) 4 guys. not ideal, but better than expected!

TRIGGER WARNING HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i also like how the woman is a fat slob with a terrible shape and rolls of fat

who the hell makes something like this.

i would agree something this degenerate takes a ton of communication, but how many of these stupid women really communicate about it properly, oh the surplus of willingly cucked husbands who are like please communicate with me baybee about our cuck threesome and shes like no im just gonna fook this manly man

i wonder if she ever uses her lack of communication as part of the power thing. like fook NO im not gonna communicate with YOU you pathetic CUCK! ill just let chad fook me hard tho!

and the cuck puts up with it because hes that desperate hahahaha.

in a sick way, all of this DOES make SENSE.

but the main thing is that you get PLEASURE out of being HUMILIATED. i mean its basic masochism 101. and i cant think of anything more jooish. well actually masochism is very huhwhyte, to flagellate and sacrifice and hurt and K and self destruct yourself? while being a sadistic monster is pretty jooish. torture porn and all taht.

heh. cucked for a manlier man by a fat potato shaped slob. good job joe hahaha.

heh. if a woman is willing to do all the WORK of accomodating the Laborious Communication needed to “respectfully maintain boundaries and acknowledge humanity” in a Cuck Rel…….she should use that energy into remaining LOYAL to her ONE man.

obviously im misunderstanding something hahahaha.

no i am not at all. its not hard to understand. either you think a cuck fetish is reasonable, or you are like me and you think its

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

NO i dont think this is MOST women. this is like 5% of women at most. those that are both super degenerate and super edj00cated. readers of everydayfeminism dot com, huffbo, buzzfeed, salon, slate, joo york magazine, vice. chapo trap house hahahahahaha.

terrible leftist shitswine. they already suck a lot of dicks. the least they could do, while they are sucking so many dicks all the time, is to suck ours.

i mean all these young women are constantly FOOKING all the time having SO MUCH SECS, it means NOTHING to them, they might as WELL set aside 5 MINUTES A MONTH to give some up to an omega neet hahahahahahaha

woops im doing it again hahaha

plus im getting downright communistic about it. doling handouts to parasites.

i am wondering if Cottage Cheese might be a bit of a miracle food. of course get the richest kind you can. like 4% or 6%.

full of protein and not a ton of calories. way better tasting than shitty YOGURT. yogurt is gay af. gayer than a feminized western male hahaha.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father_Brown_(2013_TV_series)

I am watching this TV show currently and I am struggling to find anything disgustingly jooish about it. it is a fun mystery show with a catholic priest as the main detective. based on stories by the famous catholic convert gk chesterton, who was probably a decent moral goy and didnt cuck to the joo too much. that would be disappointing.

there’s probably joos involved in this show and probably the religious aspect is toned down from the books. but the actor and the character are very likeable and the mysteries pretty gripping, decent writing, beautiful location in the english countryside. remove the urbanite hahaha.

i have seen like 14 episodes of this show and cant find anything to not recommend it. watch it to relax with your waifu. good clean fun. i dont think the actor who plays father brown is a joo.

surprisingly non pozzed for something to come out of Current Year BBC TV. damn.

honestly I can’t find anything degenerate about it. this from the guy who stopped watching tv and movies because they were too JOOISH.

i mean its not religious ENOUGH for being about a damn PRIEST but really. it is not bad at all.

sheeeeeeeeeit there is a man dressing in damn drag for like 20 minutes on episode 2 though. wtf. sad! i think there is a story reason for this though, like he is in a play. i havent been paying attention, reading daily stormer and typing about racewar and degeneracy and jooish lies and mudsharks hahahaha while waiting for a degenerate poker table to open up.

honestly ive seen at least 15 episodes and thi s is the most degen thing ive seen so far.

ok i think there is a plot element here. its a fugitive dressing as a woman in order to hide.

 

CHAD HOEST

mar 25

had dream about woman i like in  2007 or 8. she was very attractive and young but was a fatherless bipolar mudshark. good riddance. well shes been with the same mud guy now for like 2 years, thats not typical of muds fooking white gurls. shit im surprised shes capable of being with 1 man without dumping him for 2 years. i dont want the desperate thirsty man who is willing to settle for poor damaged me for the long term, better dump him.

anyway shes not a terrible person and in the dream she was being nice and interested in me, smiling at me, hanging out with me one on one, even grabbing muh d under the table. i was like well this is nice, cant wait to get you home and fook you like an animal several times in one night. i was totally enchanted just by her hanging out with me, looking at me, smiling and laughing and being flirty towards me. its not rocket science.

then i lost track of her and could not find her and was like OH SHIT that was a SURE THING and now I am gonna LOSE MUH CHANCE.

but yeah even if she is a crazy mudshark shes not a terrible person and i would have totally dated her and probably fallen in full luv with her if she had any interest in me. she was interested in being friendly with me for a few weeks, so that was enough for me! unfort she had a LOT of male friends and was always making new friends. VERY social. bad news. i was nothing special.  and i am sure i remember her a lot more than she remembers me, like 9 fookin years later. oh well. at least she looks older now.  but still totally bangable. and she is way more successful than me hahaha. and fooks negros. falls in LUV with negros. i mean thats pretty damning.

i dont need to say she was a huge slut ever since the age of 20 at least. becuase she was hahahaha.

and to think. many guys got to live out my dream of her being interested in them, then they got to fook her, then they probably got “too” interested in her, then she said UGH why are all these thirsty guys always falling in LUV with me, im not that luvable, then gave them the cold shoulder, fooked tons more guys, and only fell in luv with darkies, and still became way more successful than me hahahaha.

but yeah she’s not a terrible person. i wish her father were better to her and she had turned out better and had dated me hahahaha. then i never would have met That Woman.

you can probably get more than one oneitis in your life……but its way harder when you are older than 30 and looking at older women. it happens most readily when you are young and the women are young. then it happens maybe 3, 5 times and you better marry one of those gurls. doesnt help if they have no interest in you whatsoever hahaha.

anyway it was interesting to get a dream where a qt young gurl was being flirty with me and it felt good man, like do ALL NORMIES REALLY experience this in real life?

i actually experienced it with 2 women in my own life! 12 and 13 years ago hehehe. so i KNOW its real and not a myth.

i claim that its NOT weird to get attached to a person after you FOOK them, or even youve been making out with them. these things are supposed to generate bonding chemicals of oxytocin. so Thots who casually suck and fook, cant make oxytocin any more, cant get attached to any man. well except maybe THE MOST alpha, who already has His Choice of women throwing themselves at him.

also dont be captain save a child if the childs mother is a Ho and you are involved with her hahahaha. some men play captain save a ho and the ho has a young child that the white knight man gets attached to and wants to save the child along with the mother.

its ok to save the child, just ignore the mother tho. send the mother to a handmaids tale like breeding camp where she can breed white babies but not fook them up.

kinda shitty to have hwyte kids if youre just gonna fook them up. its very frustrating. you might ALMOST not have the kids at all if youre just gonna set them up to fail. but no abortions of hwyte babies. send the hwyte babies to a hwyte person who can take care of them. to a captain save a ho type man. give him a child to save instead. and he can continue to bang hos and thots. away from the childs eyes of course.

laid down cuz felt tired, didnt really Nap though. watching “mutiny on the bounty” with marlin brando from like 1961 and the hwytes are RACE MIXING like crazy with the tahitian THOTS. the captain should be condemning this race mixing abomination.

anyway point is, if some 20 year old girl with a healthy body is throwing herself at you, you conveniently forget about race. i probably even would too. but yeah i dont want to watch a movie from the 60s and see RAMPANT race mixing!

yeah yeah i get it, they are SAILORS, fine. i just smh when i see hwyte men getting YELLOW FEVER. pretty PATHETIC.

besides, what they dont say enough is that these gurls are huge sluts who treat EVERY guy like this. you think she’s gonna be faithful to YOU? or are you a degenerate who doesnt care if your woman is faithful? or hwyte?

well these men have been working hard like slaves on the sea and they are just looking for a little tenderness and now they are finally getting it. doesnt make race mixing RIGHT but i cant say id do differently in their position. id probably K muh self after 2 days on the SHIP!!!!!

like this guy chip gaines and his Triracial wife on the hit show fixer upper. he seems like a good man but seriously very very very GOOFY which probably made it harder for him to get a hwyte woman. so he gets with this….lets just call her asian woman. i know she is ASIAN, ARAB, and something else, maybe mexican. she is in good shape, very healthy weight, and has nice hair, and i would bang her too if i were a desperate thristy slave on board a ship. or right now, after 12 years of thirst hahahahaha. 12 years a thirsty slave.

but rather than pump and dump her, he fell in LUV with her and millions of people including me are watching the show. now thank god their kids look a lot whiter than she does and could prob PASS for whyte. shit you know i think the third race in her IS whyte. white, asian, and arab. i looked it up once hahahaa.

so that makes the kids 67% white. hmmmm. not quite good enough. POOR KIDS!!!! SAD!

only in a thoroughly jooed world would it make sense to have SECS with a person and NOT get ATTACHED to them.  this is EXACTLY how the joos DESTROY OUR race, by destroying the FAMILY, destroying CHILDREN, destroying relships between men and women, by saying that secs is casual and doesnt NECESSITATE ATTACHMENT.

every time you have casual secs, the J rubs his hands.

every time you don’t condemn casual secs, you murder your own race. just throw it into the oven.

LOVE YOUR RACE.

MJ has been less disappointing to me than WOMEN. BY FAR. the women always leave and break muh heart. the MJ, i pretty much know what I’m getting, and it works as intended. i use it to fulfill a similar role as women: to get warm fuzzies, a sense of romance and transcendence and The Sublime and The Beautiful.

and it more or less WORKED! its honestly an effective reinforcement. like a dog getting a treat. pavlovs dogs drooling for their treat. the only thing that can come close to TRAINING and CONDITIONING me like that is a Special QT young Woman who I Like, and its WAY easier to find MJ than to find a woman like THAT. even right now. when MJ is very slim pickins. likable women are even slimmer hahahaha.

they say romance books and bullshit like 50 shades of gray are porn for women, which i can see the point, but it misses a HUGE point of what pornography is. namely, 50 shades of gray is not even 1% as filthy, degenerate, destructive as the hardcore vidya porn for men, where real women are destroyed, degraded and abused to the delight of the jooz, where pathetic men who will never get a woman beat off to it bitterly.

in 50 shades of gray, real women arent being destroyed gaping their assholes for black bulls on camera. there’s just some fantasy of being seduced by a powerful manly man. nothing new there. so theres some very LIGHT fetishism. i’m surprised its not MORE jooish. and when it gets more jooish – like the degen filth produced to emasculate MEN – then i’ll get worried. until its used as a weapon to destroy people, you cant call it “pornography.” you can call it retarded, low brow jooish (((entertainment))) though!

how WOULD you make something like pornography for women though? basically, women can ALWAYS reproduce. i guess the more destructive thing would be entertainment that blatantly promotes casual secs, polyamory, polyandry, and even still, its not like women Dildo Themselves to Sex and The City or Cuckold Porno. and even if they did, they would still reproduce. but they would be ruined children for sure. not that many of them aren’t.

but yeah honestly i don’t think you CAN make something as bad for women as bad as actual porn has been for men. something like “GIRLS” by digusting pig lena dunham is the closest thing, and that is over and done with. women liked that show for 2 years at most. then it went out of favor and lena went too far even for the joos and people are like yeah shes a little weird. GIRLS was bad and promotes the worst kind of women, but its still not nearly as bad as porno for men.

yeah the worst thing for women would be much complex things than “just porno”: stuff like ABORTION and FEMINISM basically and everything related to that. it all contributes to the idea of sexual liberation, culture of casual sex, disposability of human life, etc etc.

outlaw pornography and outlaw abortion. this would go a good way to changing the culture. outlaw no fault divorce. oh but muh freedoms, there should be no laws, no gummint. no this is not a libertarian website hahahahaha. we believe in law and order, for the protection of the fascist nation and our fascist hwyte race. laws to keep out da jooz. theyve been kicked out of 200 countries. i wonder why. because goys hate the poor jooz. the poor innocent victims that never did anything to get banned from 200 countries in 2000 years.

i guess tinder would be like porn for women to. give them a platform to HAVE casual sex and to make their OWN porno pictures and videos with the guys they casually fook like sluts.

but yeah life is a COMPETITION. FIERCE competition. for women, and for jobs.

heh. its funny though. it was easier for me to get into a Highly Selective University than it was to get an 11k a year job. WAYYYYYY easier.  I applied to like 3 universities and got accepted to them all. no i did not apply to harvard, yale, princeton, stanford, MIT, i just wasnt interested, and i prob WOULDNT have gotten in.

it was easier for me to get into a Highly Selective University at age 17 that it was to Win the Hearts of Sluts and Mudsharks.

so yeah i guess i wasnt prepared for HOW competitive the world really was. kinda wish i had just gotten rejected from that uni! i only went there because it was Highly Selective and a Really Good Name, so if i go here, i will be SET FOR LIFE, even if I do average work in a useless degree. WRONG.

anyway back from sat afternoon church, ate some dinner, took powerwalk, and gonna actually be under calorie goal for once.

anyway i guess that dream about that OTHER woman was good because it wasnt about THAT woman. but it still doesnt prove i could have feelings for a brand new unknown woman.

well, logically, if it were a young, nice, attractive woman,  i probably could. if she were about 7/10 and about 25 years old (or younger!) but as i get older, this age standard gets harder and harder to reach. also them being willing to spend time with you (one on one, not just in groups), and respond to you, and be nice to you, that can cause you to have feelings too.

so yeah i COULD. but to pull a woman that YOUNG when I am not YOUNG…that seems unlikely.

logged into my runescape game for the first time in 3 years. it looked totally different.  i then logged into “old school” which looked familiar but it had set me all the way back to the beginning. sad! i remember the game being kinda fun. now its making me type the stupid password in and wont even let me paste the long unique password i have for security. you have to type in the password every time. might as well save it as password123.

funny that the women you never forget have forgotten you like their fathers have forgotten about them. and the guys these women can’t forget have in turn forgotten about THEM.

well you know i bet their fathers havent FORGOTTEN about them. they are just too COWARD to do the right thing.

come on. was i really THAT forgettable? i dont think so. i know my male friends remembered me.

taake does a CURE cover. this sounds like a potentially good idea. havent listened yet. this is from the cure “pornography” album which is very very bleak and dark and which i imagine would be anti pornography. i guess i would have to look at the lyrics of the album to determine why they called it that.

just trying to psych myself up for his boring concert so i get my 22 dollars worth hahahahahahaha no it should be pretty good. also prepping his most recent 2 albums “stridens hus” and “noregs vaapen” which i have not listened to. in 2008 i was actually aware of taake and thought he was pretty good so i was excited about his New Self Titled Album in 2008. It turned out being very boring and underwhelming so then i stopped being so ecxcited about taake. the end. then 9 years later he came to my town and i said what the heck ill go see him. shit i cant believe i first heard taake more than 9 years ago. it doesnt seem that long ago. i certainly haven’t “been a fan” for 9 years hahahahaha.

seems like most fans agree: his 2008 s/t album was boring and uninspired, his next album noregs vaapen was a strong comeback, then his next album stridens hus was kinda lackluster again. well he never makes an album longer than 45 minutes, thats good.

this unartig usually has decent recordings of NYC shows on youtube. hear taake does a good live show. he looks like he’s into it and is not so grim he can’t interact with the fans. but not so silly he cant be grim either. i think his whole thing is to recreate classic 90s black metal. back when dissection and emperor and darkthrone and burzum and mayhem were the coolest bands ever. i am kind of this era too, not being THAT much younger than hoest, so hipster blackgaze young kids black metal still seems a little weird to me, as im sure it does to him.

i dont understand those shitty pants he is wearing though. literally the worlds most falling apart jeans. there was a photograph taken once of his D hanging out of his terribly shredded pants hahahahaha. i would just get a new pair of pants already buddy. but glad to see he hasnt gotten all fat and is still in good shape in his Late Thirties.

in 2015 he had a huge hipster beard hahahaha but in 2016 he cut it to normie length hahahaha. but seriously his long beard looked good. i cant grow a long beard like this because muh beard hairs grow in weird directions whereas his beard grows straight down and out so he can grow it long.

if you see pictures of him not looking made up or trashy or drunk but attempting to look semi presentable, he is handsome as fook and could easily pull a 20 year old 8/10 waifu. JELLY. CHAD HOEST.

mar 26

yeah actually pretty excited about this. one could do a lot worse than taake. i SHOULD be a bigger fan. i was big on metal in 1999 and 2002 when he was releasing his first big albums. i just dont recall reading about them! 2005 hordaland came out just as i was making out with a grill for the last time hahahaha but i was tuned out of metal at that time, and for a few more years after. then i came back sometime around 2008 because i remember when the taake album came out and everyone was disappointed.

but yeah. i wonder if he likes sacramentum. probably. taake should be my favorite band because they tap right into that sweet spot before black metal got young and weird, and old and boring. and never attempted to “innovate” in the embarrassing ways older bands like satyricon did. the younger bands did a LOT better job of that, shit i totally respect bands like alcest or wolves in the throne room (do they really count as younger though?) well, repsect their MUSIC I should say haha. also saor, winterfylleth, wodensthrone, 10’s UK black metal is bretty kewl, but nothing really weird about it: it is just straight up pagan heathen atmospheric BM with no funny stuff. you could say similar about taake. its bretty atmospheric, quite melodic.  the funniest he gets is occasional “black and roll” and using a banjo once which got way too much attention. well it doesnt help that he brings the banjo on tour with him to play during that one song.

yeah i am officially excited. i will relisten to the old taake albums because i have forgotten large portions of them. i will listen to the newer albums i missed entirely. i listened to the cure song today, it was ok but yeah the vocals were a miss hahahaha. would have been better off just impersonating robert smith, who has a good voice.

Image result for ørjan stedjeberg

but yeah this is what i mean, chad hoest. very handsome. a total 8.8/10 man hahahahaha. he could literally be a male model.

but it is degenerate to get an upside down cross tattoo. but i can totally understand why. he was probably drunk and 18. when i was drunk and 18 i just drew an upside down cross on my arm with a marker hahahaha. he goes and gets a permanent tattoo on his chest. SMDH.

when he is good, he is really, really, really good. he taps into the pure essence of black metal, which really covers a YUGE range of emotions. its not just “cold” or “grim” but it certainly includes those things. sorrow and beauty and nostalgia and epic and pride and and yearning and anger and hatred and angst and even romance and even some hwyte racial pride in there (but i dont expect any creators to acknowledge or even realize that last one. it still comes through implicitly. you cant escape becoming who you are, goy, hahahahahaha.)

and taake covers ALL these bases rather than just being hateful or just being depressive or just being grim, and keeps the music very dynamic, epic, interesting, hot-blooded, passionate, earnest, sincere.

except when it doesnt, then it’s just as boring as all other boring black metal.  but taake hits some very strong highs.

also hoest is a very powerful singer and has a recognizable voice.

he hangs out with some degenerates, so i hope he is less degenerate than them. i guarantee he is more degen than i would like him to be tho. he prob drinks too much, prob bangs too many dirty sluts, def has too many degen tattoos, has gone to jail, probably for drunkenly, stupidly fighting another drunk white man. (speculation). he sort of “apologized” as much as he could for the svastica incident in germany 2007.

he is an obvious narcissist who has HIMSELF on ALL of his album covers hahaha.  well a man needs to have CONFIDENCE in himself and not be a meek depressive self-loather!

would like to see video of him recording the albums. does he actually play the drums? on older abums I know he got a guest drummer.

what is his opinion on iron maiden? probably positive but what if its neutral?

does he have any illegitimate children? i could see him being a deadbeat father who leaves his bastard children with their metal/bar slut mothers so he can go on tour and bang more metal sluts. just speculation hahahaha. if he has children, i HOPE he takes care of the children. kinda hard to do when you are on tour months at a time though! which is why you should do like garth brooks and retire from touring when your kids are young. you can still play a few shows a year.

do like varg. release a string of classic albums when you are very young, then shift the focus from music to having 6 or more children.  music is a young man’s game. especially metal and black metal.

in other words, hoest should have retired from black metal in 2006 after hordaland, settled down with a NICE gurl and started having babies. how about he could get a job as a Music Teacher and still play music with a Norwegian Folk Group. but no more hateful drunken metal. he’s a family man nao.

but that didnt happen.

and we still would have had those classic first 3 albums, and he could have had 5 kids before he was 40. win win. instead he is making hit or miss albums and getting drunk at age 39. talk about despair. judge judge judge hahahahahahahaha. at least he is traveling the world and banging women and still makes 50% good albums hahahaha and has fans and is leaving some kind of legacy hahaha.

i bet he could just retire to bjoergvin and find a nice gurl even now. there are still good women left, even in the us, even in degen norway and sweden.

but would i let my virgin daughter marry hoest?

well, i would test the shit out of him first! no more tattoos, no more drinking, no more tours, no more sluts, from now on you are going to be a husband and father! i mean either that sounds good to you or it doesnt. to me it sounds great, except for providing for that family.

could he really be a music teacher? could he really make enough money to live off that in NORWAY, where they take 60% of your income in taxes and gas is 10 dollars a gallon and it costs 10000 dollars to rent a shoebox apartment?

would he want to be a music teacher? would he be a good music teacher? uhhh i think he’d enjoy it more than being a Call Center Agent or a Lidl/Tesco slave. maybe he has terrible people skills though.

well, you cant bang dozens of women and have terrible people skills.

how do i know he’s banged dozens of women? you can just tell.

men who bang dozens of women, even if they are horrible sluts, have what it takes to be successful in other areas of life. raw confidence and toughness and masculinity. he just has to be WILLING to give up the degenerate, sensualist life of booze and sluts.

i guess if you’re actually GETTING the sluts, it could be hard to give up. for me, even getting SLUTS was a huge struggle. for CHAD HOEST, I bet its as easy as a woman getting a chad.

i should clearly write a fanfic of chad hoests alternate life, then give it to him at the concert. then he will uh oh this guy is right, i better start making babies. i am 39 years old and a handsome hwyte man. what am i doing with my life. shit you can go to southern france like varg if norway has become too ridiculous. i dont doubt that it has. go to poland. go to hungary. go to romania. its all good. we’re all hwyte here.

russia and ukraine are great, i just worry that da J’s have too much power there. in poland possibly too.  guess its gotta be better than NORWAY. in terms of the current norwegian gummint.

lets make norway great again hahahaha.

hey i dont blame chad hoest for descending into sensualist degeneracy, look at what his HOME is BECOMING!

my home is becoming similar. and i descended into hateful nihilism of black metal and the hedonist sensualism of drugs and, in the past, alcohol and pr0n. never had the luxury of real live grills like chad tho. i hear that can be real hard to give up. i just cant put myself in chad’s shoes. and chad cant put himself in mine.

hey im no better. i just want to be lazy and do MJ all the time. muh brain and muh WILL is BROKEN.

i have bitterness towards women because they cant just injure, its always INSULT UPON INJURY with these demons hahahahaha. they cant just reject you and say sorry, they have to reject you and be huge mudshark sluts afterwards. you cant have me but all these other guys sure can. im a dirty degen slut, but im still too good for YOU, ya meek neet wimpy sissy loser child.

i guess they arent intentionally trying to “rub it in your face” when they do slutty shit after rejecting you and you just happen to hear about it because you are borderline stalking them hahahahahaha. then thats your fault. well shit. i argue they should be being sluts ANYWAY. no woman NEEDS to be a slut. fook that shit. its BAD, there is no use for it ever. makes schlomo say GOOD GOYIM. because it DESTROYS the goy race. not IMMEDIATELY, but in the long term. even 50 lousy years can do a hell of a lot of damage. that’s not too long term. that’s less than one lifetime.

can lead the horse to water but cant make them drink. this is one of the most important true cliches ever. very relevant for me and very relevant for others too. including that woman. its all about WILL. so do you blame yourself for FAILING TO INSPIRE WILL????!!?!???

did you really lead them to the right water?

why arent they drinking?

why arent you SELLING the water good enough? aren’t you SKILLED enough to SELL this water?

i would say dont blame yourself too much. sometimes there really is nothing you can do. GOD has to get in there and even HE might not be able to do anything. THE FREE WILL. what a horrible, horrible thing!

i had all the opportunities to succeed but i would rather sm0ke MJ, drnk alcohol, look at porn, and take it easy. coast.

i put myself all in for her and said take me or leave me and she left me as sure as you can leave a person.

KARMA hahahaha.

no im really not a bad guy i SWEAR. i never want to do anybody wrong. i just hated working hard when the payoff would come in longer than 4 years hahahaha.

I DIDNT REALIZE WHAT A BIG MISTAKE I WAS MAKING! I WAS YOUNG AND IMMATURE!

the problem was the mistake wasnt just one big mistake, it was many little mistakes over like 4 years, that were not super visible to me, or to anyone around me. shit if my fam was convinced i was making a Big Mistake, they would have done something about it. but NO ONE KNEW what a big mistake i was making. thats what especially sucks. no one knew, no one could stop me. and if i could go back in time, i would damn sure stop myself.

average of 8:53 hours of sleep a night. DAMN. well, there it is. cant argue with the numbers hahahaha.

just trying to figure out the best time to go to bed when i get up at 5 am. apparently 8 pm hehehehe. OR EARLIER. 7:15 pm, because i take about 45 minutes to fall asleep after i get into bed.

i dont even know what would have been good for me. military, i prob would have private pyled.

i think just go to local comm college while continuing to work muh job i had at age 17. gotten into a machine apprentice thing. but i prob wouldnt even have THOUGHT of that. it took me till at least 28 to determine that that was a good idea.

i would have still been like college sucks, working sucks, everything sucks, just get the easiest degree there is and prepare for a life of sucking hahahaha. get used to it. deal with it. but maybe i would have been physically prevented from doing as much MJ and alcohol. not sure though. i STILL managed to do a lot of MJ and alcohol when i was home with the fam. quite a damn bit, now that i think of it. DAMN.

well, i would have stayed at the job i had until i found something better. it was a very easy job and i wuldnt just quit it. basically i had to leave it because muh college got in the way too much. ironic.

also i never would have gotten laid and never would have made out or cuddled with grills hahahaha. well i prob would have made out with grills but may well have never stopped being a V at age 21 like i did. i mean shit if were a 30 year old VIRGIN my confidence would be even LOWER. at least i can say oh yeah i stopped being a VIRGIN at a SOMEWHAT normie age.

hehehe whats def NOT normie is how i never had secs or GF or makeout or cuddles SINCE then hahahaha.

anyway, it really is impossible to say. maybe i would have just gone to another kollige and things would have turned out just as bad. maybe i would have stayed at home and gone to local college and things would have turned out just as bad hahahaha. I was BORN to become a neet failure nevergf 11k a year loser.

ok ok ok these are all horribly negative thoughts and i shouldnt even be THINKING THEM, let alone writing them down for all eternity as part of “MUH LIFE STORY” hahahaha.

https://www.fool.com/investing/2016/11/26/read-this-before-you-buy-any-marijuana-stocks.aspx

https://www.fool.com/investing/2016/12/04/top-marijuana-stocks-to-buy-in-2017.aspx

i would not recommend putting all your money into MJ stocks, youd be better buying BTC hahahaha.

i would say if you get crabby like that, just lay donw and take a NAP if you can. if its a weekend and you dnt have to WORK or STUDY WORK hahaha. i did that, got at least 30 minutes, factored that into my Big Data. by number is inching closer and closer to 9 hours a night!

if i get 1 minute less than 9 hours of sleep every night, i get SO CRABBY i CANNOT FUNCTION hahahahaha.

i am like john cusack in high fidelity. thinking of all these women in the past, oh maybe she was the one, maybe she was the one, i should try to reconnect from this grill from 15 years ago, etc etc. not that ive actually done this. but it has crossed my mind. like lets give it another chance. and they are probably not gonna do the Reaching Out here. but im 40 and still single, what have i got to lose by Reaching Out to these people 10, 20 years later. i wasnt the one who ended this. i would have stayed with you and let it run its course if you didnt Prematurely Dump Me!

did he DUMP any of the women in that movie?

in real life, men actually DO dump women. hard to believe but its true.  i’ve never done it and dont really WANT to hahahaha.

and what an ANNOYING JOO cusack was in that annoying jooish movie!!!!!!! that is not how proud hwyte men act! this is not a man who is worthy of any woman! never act anything like that! its amazing he had been with like 5 women in his life! and not 0! he should have been a virgin!

stupid fookin jooish movie. cant believe i watched it like 3 times. this is why you stop being a big music fan when you become an adult. music is not a serious time consuming interest of successful, respectable adults. its like smokin MJ. its immature, arrested development.

why do you think people who smoke MJ listen to so much MUSIC hahahaha.

oh god i just want to sm0ke MJ.

GLR did not become joo wise until age 32 hahaha. i was 30 at the oldest. more like 28 hehehehe.

some people say you should get rid of all drunk driving laws and should only prosecute people for drunk driving if there is an accident and somebody gets hurt and the person at fault is drunk.

but no just pulling people over and giving them a misdemeanor 10k DUI for having 8% BAC.  no waiting to nab people coming out of bars. no dui checkpoints.

INTERESTING.

ok 730 planning to go to bed around 8. its science. did absolutely nothing productive this weekend. took naps, played cards, wrote whining shit. well i did do 2 loads of laundry, trimmed beard, took powerwalk on saturday i think. got concert ticket for furst concert in almost 2 years. worked on Budget. worked on Sleep Spreadsheet. wrote a ton of stuff, 25% of it good. created another spreadsheet showing the current sizes of all types of clothes i wear. measurements, sizes. dress shirts, pants, suits, chest, neck, legs, waist, arms, shoes, coats, shorts, undershorts, sweatpants, anything and everything as of mar 26 2017.

prepared a bunch of sound files. podcasts and taake albums.

crunched some serious analytics. gathered some good data and crunched some good numbers.

was just disappointing on muh job search, which i dont even want to really DO shit till like july, and also on muh powerwalking. yeah i should have gone to the gym but oh well. also gained almost 2 pounds hehehehe.

 

ITS NOT OVERCOMPENSATION, ITS JUST COMPENSATION

feb 20 2017

go to leafly and look at all the stupid degen stoners giving reviews of area MMJ dispensaries. poorly written, pure 80 IQ stupidity, 420 blaze it lololololol best purps and turps, totes heat fire, couchlocked from deez fire budz. and i am thinking, THESE idiots and n3gr0s have medical cards? i mean they have to, pretty sure all dispensaries have security at the door to check that sort of thing. letting just anybody in would be asking to be shut down asap by the popo. believe me, even they arent stupid enough to want that.

get butthurt thinking so all these idiots have medical cards, where did THEY get them?

but most of them probably DO have Chronic Pain from doing Manual Labor jobs for years, so I cant really HATE on them!

then reading horrible reviews of actual certification places, like rude doctors grilling people and accusing them of lying and making them feel like criminals for trying to get a card, or waiting 5 hours only to get denied. but there are probably more positive reviews tho hahaha.

heh. wish i still knew anyone with a MMJ card hahahaha. insta drvg dilla.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/local/2013/11/09/washington-a-world-apart/

oh gawd hope they never take this down, an interactive map of charles murrays “SuperZips”(TM) that lets you see your ranking. my hood was lower than i thought but its still above 50 which i would assume is average hahaha.

heh basically makes a composite score out of median household income * percentage of college graduates. to show you where the “overeducated elitist snobs” (his term) of the New Upper Class sort themselves.

over my life i have lived in a zip that was below 10 in 2010 (horrible!) but back then it was prob a lot better. moved to a place that is mid 50s right now (it is a very nice place IMHO) and for Kollige lived in a place that was mid 70s and seemed very SuperZippy and esp SWPL leftist snob to my blood hahaha.

yet there are places very near to me right now that in the low 90s. but keep in mind this not necess a College Town, but a suburb where college educated professionals want to raises there families once they turn 40 and have made some money.

there are places near me that are horrendously low. poor black and white trash on drugs hahahaha. obviously shows me where i should try to score drvgs. all the places i would expect hehehehe.

fun tool, go play around with that map, see the scores of the zips. the number in the upper left from 1 to 100 is what you should be looking at. the green and yellow ones vs the dark blue ones. cant find another queryable dataset other than this (((WaPo))) one. but i bet charles murray has spent hours on this one hahaha.

get up early to go back to job tomorrow, end of weekend. took benedryls at 1 pm then 4 pm. bed at 7pm.

so MJ makes you lazy af. well im ALREADY lazy af WITHOUT it! thats my excuse. it would give so much FUN in blazing it, that its WORTH the tiny increase in laziness which would happen. im ALREADY very lazy. lazier than normies who become huge st0ners.

even at the young age of 24 she realizes that its a problem when she shuts down and doesnt communicate and wants to make an effort to improve her shitty communication style. good for her hahaha.

thought this would be the worst beta cringe friendzone story. didnt expect the part about “antisocial personality disorder.” and he is still doing better than me, in grad skool at age 23 hahaha.

feb 21

ok day at the job thank god. very low stress. thank GOD.

had dream last night that i was getting “intimate” ie groping, fondling, making out, and close to fooking, which to me is pretty intimate, but to many/50% of people is not, its just casual, with Woman 2005. i was just happy the dream did not feature That Woman! havent had a dream about her in a long time. would take any other of the women over her. so in fact i rather enjoyed this dream.

also it reminded me of the important lesson: when you are making out with a gurl and its getting hot and heavy and you are groping each other and she is letting you touch her Babymaker and she can feel your Babymaker getting hard, then that means the gurl is fully primed for and expects SECS. so if you DONT have secs right then and there because you get NERVOUS about secs, you treat secs as some hallowed babymaking ceremony that you have to build up to, she will be CONFUSED as fook. she will think why didnt he want to fook me? WEIRDO. CREEPER. and your plan to take it “slow” will backfire disastrously and you will never make out with the woman again and she will be fooking new guys in a few days.

the fix: you say, hey baby, i still get kinda nervous about secs because in my Principled Value System, it’s a very big step and a significant symbolic act with very serious consequences. So Imma give you a good pounding today, but imma just WARN you, it’s gonna be a little awkward, and you wnt have 6000000 gushing orgasms until I have banged you about FIVE times and have gotten more COMFORTABLE with this. so dont expect galloping thundering wallbanger secs right now on the first time. i am a traditional man and I dont like casual secs. so just KEEP IN MIND that we got to do this about five times before I really get into it and you really enjoy it.

this is exactly where I think I confused that 2005 gurl. I was making out with her and touching her Genitalia and she fully expected me to plow her that night, and I should have, but I didnt, because I really liked her, and didnt want to Go Too Fast like I did with the previous gurl. so, no surprise this new gurl also dumped me quickly. because what a weirdo i was! how come I didnt want to fook? was i mental or something? a psycho? absolutely! how crazy does a guy have to be to NOT bang a gurl who is consenting to be banged?

but i was in early 20s and this was only the second gurl i had gotten to 2nd or 3rd base or whatever that was. the second and the last gurl hahahahahaha.

so in the dream i felt those feelings, i was like, welp i am perfectly content to make out with you all night and just fingerbang your fookhole, i’ve only ever banged one gurl before, and i still get really NERVOUS about it. i didnt really communicate that too clearly, and she probably had trouble understanding how a man could ever be NERVOUS about secs, that all men would be THRILLED for such an OPPORTUNITY, and maybe she felt rejected by ME hahahaha. but i was VERY passionate and enthusiastic in my making out and groping of her! THAT should have told her that i was VERY thrilled to be doing this! and i was! the way normies feel about secs, I feel about making out and groping. but secs is just a bridge too far for me, and there i start getting nervous. and the women have a hard time understanding it. they couldn’t understand it at 21, and i bet they sure as hell couldnt understand it at 31, after 10 more years of the CC hahahaha. being rode hard and hung up wet.

so in the dream i was like, yeah babe I LUV making out with you, this is so hot, but i can see you want to get FOOKED, and you’re gonna get weird and think I’m weird if I dont stick it in you right now. so imma do that, but i’m JUST WARNING YOU, its gonna be kinda awkward. i’m just taking one for the team and doing you a solid as a sign of good faith, but I want you to give me good faith and commit to doing this 5 times with me, because i get nervous blowing j1zz in a new woman, because you can get preggers dont you know, or are you too tipsy from 3 drinks to think of the long term consequences of your actions hahahahaha.

really I DONT trust women to make mature adult decisions. they DONT know what they want, they DONT know whats good or bad for them. NO i DONT trust them to be an adult and make responsible decisions. thats the crux of the issue!

but yeah. i should have banged her just to NOT SEEM WEIRD, then she woulda let me bang her MORE, hopefully at least 5 times, and then i would have become more comfortable with it! WIN WIN!!!!!

so in the dream i started to stick it in and felt really nervous although I did like the sight of muh D going right into her Split Beaver. it seemed slightly pornographic but not as degen because it was “real.”

one issue was that a friend of mine was in the room with us, and i was like UHHHH BABE YOU SURE you want to do this with him standing right over there? and she clearly did. but that only increased my nervousness.

that has been a recurring theme, it wasnt too long ago i had another dream where a gurl was wanting the D but there was another person in the room with us. i wonder what that represents. probably my nervousness about secs. that im so nervous its as if someone else is in the room with us.

i mean i havent been in this position in like 12 years. it was about 12 years ago from right now when i was actually makign out with woman2005 and feeling her slimy pvssy hahahaha. it was nice. i really liked doing that. i just felt nervous going All The Way. because thats how babies get made and I didnt want to be conceiving any children and having to make a decision on the ungodly evil jooish abomination of abortion, which all women dont really have any moral reservations against, and im sure she didnt either hahahaha.

nothing super important here tbhfam. just if you get the chance to bang a gurl and you want to Take It Slow (TM) because you are Catching Feelings, ask yourself, do you really think she is Catching Feelings(tm) for ME, or does she just want a casual roll in the hay? prob the latter. never like the gurl more than she likes you! and you certainly want some more experience having Secs dont you? OF COURSHE! so just pound some booze, take a valium, mansplain that it takes you at least FIVE FOOKS to get IN THE GROOVE, and pound away like you are going mad in the gym. maybe do her doggystyle, might make that task easier. then she will stick around for at least 4 more bangs and you wont be so nervous about secs, about women in general. heh. i always got dumped before 5 bangs because they could tell i wanted a Real Rel, and they didnt. they just wanted Chill Fookbuddies. fine fine. yeah thats degenerate. but i at least could and should have used that degeneracy to my advantage. rather than my detriment. transactional hahahaha.

so yeah i DO regret not banging her. the regret doesnt eat me up inside, but it is a legit regret, i would totally have done things differently, and if i ever had the chance again, i would take it. i hope. rather than getting my heart broken again by another slut hahahaha. of course that wasnt the situation with That Woman, her I didnt even make out with but I was in luv with her. but i knew her for almost 3 years, those other women i barely even knew for 3 months. totally diff situation.

heh. you know you are a winner when you go to CONFERENCES. some of muh new colleagues are going to CONFERENCES. get on a plane and go to a 3 day conference in another state. this means you are a professional, you have made it, and you share ideas and research and articles and best practices and workshops and lectures and debates and presentations. and when you go to these all day conferences everybody TWEETS with a HASHTAG.

i bet if its a Hot Field with a lot of Under-30 WOMEN, god damn, that has to be a degenerate Fookfest worse than an undergrad frat party. because you have a bunhc of Professionals working 80 hours a week, work hard, play hard, then you go out to the bar, sing karaoke and get wasted, talk about your Career Paths, and have drunk secs with a 27 year old woman on her Way Up, and you have plenty to talk about because you have been on the same career path since age 18.  you think you have More In Common with a Fellow person in your Field, than you do with your GF or BF, who is in a field you know absoultely nothing about.  because your career is your whole life. because you are More Compatible(tm) with someone in your Career Field than someone whos not. If I had a Professional GF I would not trust her going away to CONFERENCES with a bunch of other nurses or teachers or marketers or realtors or accountants or whatever.

plus i am butthurt because at age 30+ i have never been to a CONFERENCE hehehehe.

heh those “sluts” i made out with 12 years ago have certainly been to conferences because they became Educated Professionals who live or want to live in 93%+ SuperZips hehehe.

anyway we got some guys in the office who Tweet and are Twitter Savvy, and other people who are not into it at all. just go to the conference and dont tweet hahahaha. not sure this is an age thing because there are plenty of 60 year old professionals tweeting up a storm. I tried to show the boss that i know how to use twitter and follow a hashtag hahahaha. but its something ive never “had” to do at a job before. that is, i never worked in a job where ANY of the people were regularly-tweeting professionals. not that you need to be a rocket scientist to use twitter. but you do have to be a Professional with Professional Opinions.

not just tweeting about feelings and women all day hahaha. or 1433 VVN hail victory hehe.

say you go to a conference that is 20% women at best and they are starkly divided between bangable and unbangable. how big of a head do you think those bangable women are gonna have? pretty fookin big hahahaha. not like they havent racked up 30+ partner count by age 30 anyway hahaha. so by that point, what differnece does one more Casual Coch make?

heh I was getting Bonding Chemicals and Oxytocin just from a hot and heavy make out session and touching the gurls genitals. how come this does nothing for THEM? that they NEED to be pounded hard before THEIR oxytocin kicks in?

but yeah its a bridge too far. i can be TOTALLY comfortable TOUCHING their cvnts, but putting muh exploding D in there, nope. cuz i NEVER FORGET that that is how BABIES ARE MADE. cant make a baby by making out and fondling. maybe i should have just tried to bang the girls in the ass hahahahahahahaha. be like hey HERES THE THING, Im paranoid about getting you preggers, so uh heres the thing. just lemme put it in your ass a couple times till i warm up to the idea hahaha. ya cant have a baby out of the ass. an 4n4l baby.

DEGENERATE hahahahaha. this is what YEARS OF PORN does to your MIND and SOUL.

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard” – Tim Notke and made famous by Kevin Durant

hehehehe great quote despite its cheesiness, it is still absolutely true. one of those true as hell cliches you should live your life by. i dont care about some n3gr0 basketball player hahahaha. i used to have talent and USED to have a LITTLE hard work ethic, but I lost that by age 18/19, and have fallen by the wayside ever since.

smart professional 95% leftist people like to use medium.com as well as twitter and instagram hahahaha.

i can understand the value of twitter. i just dont care about instagram but i guess its succeeding. snapchat appears to be failing.

i of course prefer gab to twitter because weev and others can say horrible anti J things on gab without getting banned! yet. but gab is never gonna “beat” twitter.

ooooo milo scandal where today he resigned from breitbart due to some Soft On Pedophilia statements he made, “joking”about banging 13 year old boys. hope people dont think this is what the alt right is hehehehe. or that this justifies the anti free speech thing at berkeley a few weeks ago where milo was speaking.

certainly the media wouldnt spin it to make gays look like degenerate evil pedophiles hahahaha.  might as well say the alt right are evil degenerate pedophiles and dont represent gays at all!

but yeah i mean i never LIKED milo, i always thought he was a degenerate hahaha. also he’s a J. hes just reaping what he sowed. he is not true alt right, but normies THINK he is alt right, and i dont want this to besmirch the alt right. well its already besmirched ENOUGH, people think we are all ebil natzees, so, what diff does it make really. none.

anyway, basically we need more right or even MODERATE/CENTRIST people in Thought Leader positions, going to conventions, making tweets, having people respect their opinions. no not journalists, but people in EDUCATION and Nonprofits and Social Work and Community Action. all that shit is just as POZZED as the Media. Sad!

like i see a lot of people in the Education field who are genuinely smart but also like sniffing their own farts as far as writing anti trump shit on twitter and medium hahahaha. we need less of that. less leftism in education. woooooo what a yuge bigly idea hahahahaha.

but yeah it IS sad. EDUCATION is actually even MORE important than the MEDIA, and both are leftist as FOOK. we dont even have a fox news of education. other than betsy devos i guess hahahaha. but every education administrator and “expert” and EdD and Teacher’s Teacher are fooking leftist as fook, totally about Equity and Mo Fed Money Fo Dem Pogams. isnt there ANY fookin alternative to this? for those of us who CARE about education but hate this leftist shit? i would totally be interested in a masters degree somewhere in education…….except for this leftist shit!!!!!!! and Graduate Education IN Education is pretty much SYNONYMOUS with leftist marxist bullshit!!!!!! SAD!!!

 

 

 

 

SOCIAL SKILLS ARE SURVIVAL SKILLS

feb 2

start of The Weekend, just want to do MJ like a loser hehehe.

feels of inferiority that i am not ATTACKING my job as much as I SHOULD be, not showing as much initiative, not being CREATIVE enough, not taking charge enough. usually when i do this i am blowing things out of proportion. and i worry what they say about me when im not there, um im getting second thoughts about this new guy, he’s kind of underwhelming, i expected more, he can do better than this, what kind of damn mental problems must he have, i mean just look at the facts, how old is he again? damn. DAMN. and he obviously doesnt have strong communication skills like he said he did, everything he says is an awkward meaningless jumble of words.  im sure he doesnt have a gf. i wonder if he lives with his fam. PROBABLY. WOW. how did he ever let his life get so OFF TRACK?

that is the type of shit i worry about now hahahaha.

i just dont want the nice people to be disappointed in me because i am uhhh kinda underwhelming and dont have a yugely confident charismatic presence. i mean i try my best folks. its a day by day thing. i have only been there 2 months. is this normal hahahaha. its normal to feel like an impostor. it took at least 3-4 months before i stopped feeling like an impostor at muh old job.

heh some MJ would help take the edge off that time hehehe.

its just different. its the type of thing where people work on a bunch of medium and longer term projects, rather than very short term cases. and when i end up with Downtime, well hehehe i feel guilty, because other jobs, when you get Downtime, you dont sit there and study work related stuff, you get your HOURS CUT, you get SENT HOME EARLY, so youre not costing the company money.

well today i was given a project and it was sort of challenging but people were offering with ideas but i didnt want to BUG them, plus i had enough to get me started, so i continued down that path, presented my results at the end of the day before i left for the weekend, essentially showed some work of what i had been doing the past 3 hours hahaha. it involved me trying to figure out something i wasn’t really strong on. i just hope they werent disappointed in me in that they expected me to Totally Fix It by the end of the day. i mean im not given super urgent tasks at any rate.

i THINK its gonna be OK, but yeah. always doubts and insecurities in my MIND.

feb 3

day off.

got some walmart george 12 dollar pants, gray. classic fit, flat front. they fit perfectly and were not that horrible “modern fit” which “sits lower on the waist.” I HATE that shit. totally satisfied. would totally buy another pair, and i might do that next week to replace another pair of pants that has gotten too big for muh incredible shrinking body hahahaha. 32 waist hehehe but im sure its a little more, tape meaure says more like 33, but most companies run a little big thankfully.

struggled against satan today and WON. got up, day off, wanted to be productive and no idle, run errands, not immediately sit on the internet for hours. get something done early, first thing in the day. got good 9 hours of sleep. did not turn on tv or computer. intended to go get haircut and to walmart and other store. felt anxiety and doubt but pushed self to do all those things. got nice haircut, boost in confidence, good. wanted to get new shirt for job at walmart, maybe pants. ended up getting nice shirt and pants. the pants are awesome but the shirt is a little bigger than desired. ideally will return it next week.

got groceries as well and then came home and made food to last me the next 3-5 days. AND did 1 load of laundry AND made 30 cigarets while the food cooked.  listened to new fatherland while doing the food and cigs.

and now its 543 pm, starting to get dark, and playing some cards and listening to new moonsorrow album for the first time

not bad, no surprises here. but for me i need to be in the mood, and i havent been in the mood since this album came out months ago.

ideally i would have a ton of MJ and would be blazing it like MAD right now. and similarly yesterday. but i dont. i laughed when thinking of finding a shady character at walmart and seeing if i could buy 20 dollars of MJ from a random shady black or brown person. i did not have the balls.

also i brushed teeth which i sometimes “forget” to do on day off, which i shameful.

also trimmed beard to level 2, ideally do this once every 2 weeks. last did this 2 weeks ago.

ok want old school epic metal, should listen to this hehehe. i recall the first song being awesome. and it is. varg v’s fav bathory albvm. he makes a comment here and there are shitloads of people calling him a shallow minded disgusting racist nazi and quorthon would have hated him too.  metal antiracists are the worst. go read that j trash metalsucks dot com. i thought you people prided yourself on being tough and iconoclastic and nonconformist. the best way you can do this is be a racist hahahahahahaha. and you have idiots loving a Heritage Loving band then bitching about people who say muslims get out. oh no, you get out you terrible racist, quorthon would have wanted hordes of muslims taking over europe.

well, maybe he would have, we cant say, he has been dead for years. but yeah it grinds my gears to see metal degenerates be all like yeah stabbing somebody to death and burning churches is cool, but being a racist who loves the hwyte race is so ignorant and offensive.

and i hold these “heritage metal” people to a higher standard because being Proud Of Your Heritage is really not that far from being Proud of your RACE, and willing to DEFEND it against its ENEMIES. but so many of them just shit on the idea of that second part. just bend over and get fooked. literal cuckolds hehehehe. metalcucks. bunch of pron obsessed degenerates hahaha.

heh. gay milo making big news with riots at berkeley. the next damn day people are rioting in nyc for gay gayvin mcanus hahahaha. what would they do with a REAL racist like richard spencer hahahaha. speaking of i thought he was gonna do a big college tour. he needs to have more of those like his thing at texas AM. do shit like that every week.

so yeah. glad i got a lot accomplished today rather than just neckbearding on internet.

so my gameplan was to “PARTY” tonight by taking a valium, then a little later, taking a benedryl. this could potentially be dangerous, cuz mixing anything with benzos is risky hehehehe. so thats why im gonna wait at least an hour before taking the benedryl.

had dream, erotic dream, that i was banging this qt gurl i knew tangentially in kollige, and i regret not noticing and pursuing her more. i just forgot she was there. but i might have had a chance with her because she was really nice to me the few times i did see her. and she was super duper qt. so now i occasionally have dreams about her hahahahahaha. prob always will. better her than THAT woman.

in this dream we were in the room with another person, and the qt woman was THROWING herself at me, just jumping on me, wanted to get fooked hard NAO. i was like, uhh theres somebody else in here, lets get a room i mean, then ill be happy to fook you hard. eventually i just let myself get taken in having public secs like a degen, because how do you say no to a young qt gurl. you cant. but i was like hmmm i really dont like sluts, i was hoping she wasnt like this, and god damn shes gotta be bipolar. and how long is this gonna last. shes probably gonna dump me within a month. why cant she just be a nicer, less bipolar, less degen, less slutty gurl. but oh well i might as well enjoy this for the brief time it lasts. but its gonna suck when she loses interest in me quickly. and she is REALLY interested now. but thats nothing. shes gotten like this for lots of guys. im not the first and sure wont be the last. and THIS is not gonna last. its not gonna get any better than this. damn. i hoped she was a better woman than this, i kinda liked her, had a fictional pedestal fantasy of her.

listening to newest 2015 iron maiden album book of souls. never listened. bruce still sounds great. not sure how they will hold attention for NINETY fookin minutes. WAY too long. but it sounds good so far.

meh you know what i will come back to this one hehehehe.

so took the valium. see if that even works. it is old valium. but i have like 90 of them, might as well use them while i dont have any MJ. i guess its kicking in a little bit. barely noticeable. not like MJ where you DEFINITELY notice it. how is MJ going in MA and NV right now? i know in ME they dont even have retail stores. or in CA either. i dont think. it still takes a year to get that shit set up. weak hahahaha. they dont immediaetly turn into CO overnight.

But in fact, recreational sales don’t become legal until next year. (2018). in california. ok.

n Diego legalized recreational pot dispensaries on Tuesday and the city also opened up the possibility it will allow pot farms, manufacturing facilities and testing labs.

San Diego is the first local city to approve recreational marijuana sales since state voters approved Proposition 64 in November, and no other cities in the county have indicated they intend to follow suit.

jan 2017. ok so go to san diego if you want to buy MJ.

 

until recreational dispensaries set up shop, which Metro said could happen as early as March. nevada 2017. cuz i mean vegas is a popular tourist destination and plenty of cheap flights. probably cheaper to fly to vegas than to CO.

state legislators in December passed a law delaying the sale of recreational marijuana products in approved retail dispensaries until July 2018. MA

yep. winterfylleth. signed up for songkick just so i could get a notification if they tour in the US. hehehehe. listened to the whole 1 hour album. thats a long album and its a really good sign if i can sit through the whole damn thing.  just glad to really enjoy a new band.

anyway that dream. i ultimately dont like when women throw themselves at you like slutty bipolar nymphomaniacs because that means theres something wrong with THEM, and also theyre gonna lose interest in you REALLY quickly, and that is very jarring. i mean its only happened to me once but i never forgot it hahahaha. yes that gurl was bipolar confirmed and taking lithium before the age of 20.  heh. wish i had had more time to actually have a serious discussion with her about Bipolar and how she dealt with it. but that would involve her hanging out with me for an appreciable amount of time.

thats a good sign. is a woman willing to spend a decent amount of TIME with you or do they just want to fook and LEAVE ahhaahhhaaha. thats what i liked about That Woman is that she liked me enough as a person to want to hang out with me for hours. sometimes hahaha.

i mean come on. im really not THAT lame. i might be a little boring and an underachiever, but you could do a LOT worse than spending a nice solid 4 hour hangout session with me hahahaha. smoke some MJ, watch some youtube, talk about 1387, talk about JQ, talk about degeneracy, watch some TV and talk about how degen and J it is, play some games, watch jeopardy, play some mario kart, smoke some more MJ, cuddle up and watch the decalogue hahahaha, make some food, go get some food, go for a scenic drive, go for a scenic walk in the park, watch the sunset. sounds like a fookload of fun amiright? go to an ethnic club, where hopefully you dont dump me for an alphaer guy, go to an artsy fartsy movie, go to a concert, go to an 1433 meetup where hopefully you dont dump me for an alphaer guy, go to the gym together where hopefully you dont leave me for an alphaer or blacker guy, hahahahahahahahahaha.

im secure about that because i really CANT compete with other guys for women. so if im hanging out with a woman in public where there are other Willing Guys, of course i worry that she’s gonna get a wandering eye and lose interest in me for a Better guy. also because women have historically lost interest in me really quick and gotten with other guys who they liked more.  shit yeah that is a big blow to your confidence.

and really i havent had a women interested in me in that way, even the slightest short term one month interest, in like…..holy shit TWELVE fookin years hehehehe.

but it was nice having a woman be interested in me as even Just A Friend when that happened like 3 years ago. 3 years ago might have been the peak of muh friendship with that woman. and holy shit even that is a long time ago. it doesnt feel liek that long hehehehe.

heh was a REAL BOSS today and put on track time starts on two youtube vidyas for good albums where the uploader nor any other commenters were generous enough to do that. you know. where you can click on the time and jump right to any song on the album for full album videos. hopefully will get plenty of upboats and thank you comments hahahahahaha. cuz these degen metal fans dont even think of taking 3 minutes to do this. well i wasnt any better until today, i never did this till today.

took the benedryl several hours after the valium.

went and installed f.lux on the computer to soften the harsh bright light of the screen at night time. with my tons of ram it does not have any noticeable memory footprint hehe.

george brand. for the man who wants to dress professional but also wants to buy his professional clothes at WALMART hahahahahahahahaha.