HAPPY NEW CURRENT YEAR

 

dec 31 2016

wish saor hadnt shut down the idea of playing moar live shows. i guess its a lot of trouble for him and not worf it. well just play 2 shows a year instead of 4 shows hahaha. dont go on tour ever. just play one off shows every 4,5,6 months. imho he is too good to not play live. also the music is pretty good Live Music because its pretty epic.

great guy this Andy Marshall. Man of the month. probably man of the q4 hahaha. His music gives me feels I didnt even think were possible. reaches me in a way i didn’t think new music even COULD, my heart was closed off to new music. but he has broken through this icebox. GOD BLESS HIM hahahaha.

how did it take me until 2016 to discover this guy. he has been releasing albums every year since like 2009 hahahaha. highly regarded albums.

well, saor has only really been A Thing since 2013.

heh. pulled the trigger and bought the SAOR Guardians shirt

https://saor.bandcamp.com/merch/guardians-t-shirt

which was like 25.33 us dollars. dont want to spend money like a damn negro but…..i think i am ready to go all in with muh boifran andy marshall here. i didnt think new music could reach me but he proved me wrong. keep up the good work lad, heres some money for a sweet tshirt.

go buy one yourself and for your alt right waifu at the link above.

note: saor is not explicitly alt right and is probably horrified and disgusted by white racism like my own. HOWEVER his beautiful MUSIC embodies everything great about huhwhytes. this is exactly what i mean when i say that black metal is inherently huhwhyte. i dont even think you can say “implicit” because it’s a little bit more than merely implicit!!!

i wrote him a 300 character message kissing his ass and cupping his scottish balls about how great and inspirational his music is. because it really kind of IS.

AND he is playing shows in 2017. glad on that. i know shows can be a pain in the ass, but his stuff is too good for him not to play 1 show a year on his own terms. so far he has 3 shows lined up for july. dont want him to burn himself out but this is probably the best time of year for shows. DONT BURN YOURSELF OUT LAD.

of course i love that he is SCOTTISH. and that i was specifically looking for Scottish Atmospheric Epic Black Metal, and he delivered EXACTLY what I was looking for, and THEN SOME. he SURPASSED my expectations when 99.9% of music comes in WAY BELOW my minimal expectations. WEWLAD.

go give him your money hahahahaha. encourage him to make babies with scottish gurls.

that feel when you steal a glimpse of the private parish Prayer List and discover YOU are on there for being “unemployed for 1 and half years.” YIKES. alongside everyone else who is DYING OF STAGE 4 TERMINAL CANCER. pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, colon cancer, brain tumors, brain cancer, lung cancer, the whole 9 yards. I am surprised the parish is even still around, because it seems like every WEEK 2% of the parish DIES OF CANCER. its insane. looking at this list, it’s like 50% of the parish has CANCER.

and to think i’m right up there with muh 1.5 years of unemployment. hopefully they take me off the list now that i’ve gotten a 13k a year job! hahahaha.

it doesnt feel that serious but in a way it IS that serious. you’re a grown adult, this is what you HAVE to do. make 25k a year or its as bad as terminal cancer.

and I like pity and sympathy, but that almost seems like too much! and i believe in the power of prayer……but i also recognize that its DESPERATE as hell! and i would like to not be that desperate…..but I AM!!!!! and I have become comfortable with my desperation. its become a laughing matter! shit yeah i’m so desperate for a job or a woman that I will take the bottom of the barrel! I’m literally HOPELESS fam, i am beyond all help, better take me to damn LOURDES, i literally need a MIRACLE. there is nothing humans or myself can do to help my situation, i need a damn MIRACLE from GOD.

in a way its like people have thrown up their hands and said “i just dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried everything and im so close to giving up.”

i should have not looked at the damn list. its a private list, not like anybody can see it. and i was on the second page. if i just looked at the first page, never would have seen it.

oh well. that happened. and hopefully within 1 month i will be off the list of desperate dying hopeless people.

new years eve. auld lang syne. thats a SCOTTISH thing. robert burns. RESPECT!

no im not scottish at all, but they are one of my favorite white ethnicities hahahaha. i mean i like ALL whites but some get special recognition by me hahahaha. for me its poles, in some ways all slavs, scands, and now scots. i suspect it will be a lifelong journey of appreciation as i come to appreciate each kind of white in due course.

bought the large tshirt, not extra large, as motivation to keep my body at a large tshirt size. dont want to go back to extra large body!!!!!!

gonna maybe try to “clean up” that live saor thing above with audacity esp for the benefit of the song which comes from his album “roots”…………….which uses a damn drum machine. but the live show is the guy who played on the “guardians” album. plays in this other scottish black metal band with a damn gaeldighd name hahahahaha. that is quite longer than “saor.”

there is another saor live show where they are wearing KILTS, good job lads.

another full show. not sure which one will have better sound. my intuition says the indoor show but i could be wrong. like maybe too much sound bouncing off walls, and outdoors it dissipates.

great guy, yeah ill gladly jerk him off hahahahahahaha. mancrush o clock.

wolves in the throne room, playing show in dec 2016. i thought they were done. i totally respect their music. i totally disrespect their communist, leftist, antiwhite ideology. its such dissonance to get antiwhite ideology with such huhwhyte sounding MUSIC. because for me, its another great of example of Black Metal Is Inherently White Music. but these shitlibs would lecture you for 60000000000000000 hours on why that is so problematic and wrong.

ANYWAY, i think this is a good way to play a show when you dont want to emphasize Your Personal Celebrity. just dim the fook out of the lights so you cant really see their faces.

like MGLA for example plays in these ridiculous hoods. i totally get what they are trying to say………i just think it would be hot and sweaty and uncomfortable as fook to wear that shit in a 100 degree club. just turn down the lights, dim the lights, use blue lights, and nobody will be able to see your face anyway.

later.

welp. lost my 4.00 chip stack at the tables hahaha. thats usually a good sign for me to quit for the day. but because its NYE, i am back in for 4. heheheh. i am not a good gambler. i am down 130 dollars over the past 3 years on Poker Alone. not terrible for 3 years, only lose 43 dollars a year hahahahaha. but uhhh obviously making 1 dollar a year would be much much much better. i am LOSING OVER THE LONG TERM. when i should be winning. even the SMALLEST amount. 1 dollar a year. i can’t even make 1 dollar a year. i made 150 dollars a year on goddamn mTurk.

janu 1

holy shit, patreon just jsut down emily youcis for being pro-white. well….the page is just 404. but i KNOW thats what happened.

https://twitter.com/realemilyyoucis?lang=en

yep thats exactly what happened. maybe twitter will be next.

so in retaliation i sent her a d’nation on paypal.

found my “anonymous alt right” paypal was giving me same error sending to her, as when i tried sending to TRS a few days ago. thought hmm maybe the problem is me.

signed in with my NORMIE, DOXXED, REAL NAME paypal and the donation went though JUST FINE.

PAYPAL HAS SHUT DOWN MY PRIVATE ANON ACCOUNT, FORCING ME TO USE MY REAL NAME.

I do not like that at ALL. How dare they shut ME down just because I wanted to use an anon name with my normie credit card.  I trust Emily Youcis will not dox me, but its just the principle of the matter.

anyway you can find her paypal gmail address on the internet and it works as of today.

Hello Emily, sorry about the pathetically low amount. I just signed up to your (((((Patreon))))) in December, and it’s a shame what they did to that. Hope you find a nice goy husbando and have 1488 babies. Contact me if you have any trouble with that. . . . . . . . . but you shouldn’t. One great thing about Women in the Movement is that I think Women can speak to other Women very well and encourage wholesome, moral behavior among other women. Please get on Daily Shoah or Fatherland. Please record talks with Andrew Anglin and Weev. Please do not become a dumpster fire like Sinead, hahahahahaha. HAPPY NEW CURRENT YEAR!!!!! – alt right pseudonym (please no dox, I think Paypal has SHUT DOWN my “anonymous” account)

here’s the message i sent to HWYTE HWYFU EMILY with my generous 6.16 d’nation hahahahaha.

good lord. bitcoin STILL going up. 993. probably hit 1000. damn. welp, i dont have any more to sell. the end.

YUGE PROTIP LIFEHACK: instead of wearing your scarf wrapped “horizontally” around your neck, wear it “vertically” wrapped about your entire head! so it covers your neck, parts of your face, your ears. makes SO MUCH SENSE and I NEVER thought of it until I saw an old movie on TCM where a guy was wearing a scarf like that.

I am HORRIBLE at stuff like that. thinking outside of the box. unknown unknowns. because i had never seen anyone IRL wearing a scarf like that, so I never even THOUGHT of wearing my scarf like that until I saw it in a random MOVIE.

its REALLY fookin shady that paypal is doing SOME sort of restriction on my alt right account, BUT HASNT SAID ANYTHING TO ME AT ALL. no emails to any of the emails I used with that account, no messages when I log fooking in. At least when WordPress shuts me down they put an unmissable message on my dashboard hahahahaha. and then it is only for going over 99 scheduled poasts hahahahahah. im actually surprised they havent shut me down for “h8 speach”.

but yeah nothing from paypal. no notifications, no messages, just errors whenever i try to send that give no indication of the nature of the error. no doubt they have put me on a list so that i pretty much HAVE to contact them to find out what is going on. flagged. absolutely nothing. the ball is in my court, they are WATCHING me, waiting for me to make the first EXPLICIT move to their more implicit move. DAMN.

yep there it goes, bitcoin just went over 1000!!!!!!! jan 1 2017

anyway. i guess 2016 was a better year than 2015!

yeah it really was.

went the whole year without contacting That Woman.

Went the Whole Year without intentionally looking at Porn. Essentially Quit Porn in Oct 2015 or so.

Lost 35 pounds in 2016.

Got New Job in 2016.

I mean 2016 wasnt GREAT because I was still a jobless neet for 88% of the year.

but it was better than 2015, where I actively had a meltdown/breakdown. Lost That Woman, Lost Muh Job, was so devastated I could barely move. that was 2015. so yeah, 2016 was a LOT LOT LOT better than 2015.

end of 2015, i was BARELY getting over that woman AT ALL.

end of 2016, I was WELL OVER HALFWAY there hahahaha.

something about going through a FULL YEAR without them. january thru december. definitely made real progress.

uh i was good about going to Gym for some of the year, until it got nice outside, then i just went outside. i was actually really good about going to the Gym for the last 3 months of 2015 actually.

was shitty as fook in 2015 about jobsearching. in 2016 I got a lot lot lot better and did 99% of my jobsearch. and eventually got a job before the end of the year. THANK GOD.

uhh accomplished some decent stuff with muh mint personal finance in the last few years of 2016, just being more descriptive with categories, painting a more detailed picture of income and expenses, when i had kinda forgotten about mint for a while. but its really pretty good.

so yeah even though i was pretty much in a Rut for most of 2016….it was still better than 2015. 2015 in general being worse than 2014 hehehehehe. 2015 was a REAL bad year. relative minimum. good to have an….OK year after that. and HOPEFULLY 2017 is better than 2016 cuz i will be working. and hopefully not gaining 35 pounds. or melting down.

sheeeeeit i think i am getting a PRE-COLD. beginnings of swelling and irritation in the throat.  why couldnt i get this a few days ago. didnt even go out and socialize for NYE. watched the degenerates on TV and said get a room, you degenerate phaggots. why dont you just do a gangbang in times square, you degenerate cvm guzzling wh0re.

this is how i always worried i would feel about a woman if i were ever to get a GF. yet i savagely bash women for when they feel this way with a man, the unknown feeling that something doesnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel quite right, i dont feeeeeeeel haaaaaappppy, and i dont know what it is.

well because i saw women as having terrible intuition and horribly unrealistic expectations, who would dump a Good Man for the shittiest reasons.

and I saw myself as having realistic standards, yet still settling for less out of desperation. and just suffering through a boring, unsatisfying relship because i thought that’s what reality was supposed to be.

when really reality is somewhere in the middle. you SHOULD feel a Honeymoon Period at least for your GF, and she should feel the same for you. after 18 months tops this feeling goes away.

well, for me i could see it lasting 18 months, for women it usually lasts no more than 3 months. but they still get it.

I had that fear ever since i was like 16. then I finally got Honeymoon Feelings for a real woman when I was 20. then another women when i was 21. then another 2 women when i was 22. then another woman when i was 23. then another woman when i was 24. then another woman when i was 26 or 27. then another woman when i was 31. and thats all folks hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah basically yeah i am allowed to have some sort of intuition about a woman, which grants her the right to have some sort of intuition about me, about men, about a relship. but i just think that my intuition is right while theirs is way way way wrong and entitled and unrealistic and stupid.

but the reality is, Honeymoon Phase IS real and I am entitled to expect it with a GF/Waifu, esp if i experienced it with those other sluts hahahaha.  and yeah fine i concede that women are entitled to a honeymoon period of their own. honeymoon period is a standard thing of standard relships.

of course the phag enablers jump on it as a chance to proselytize gayness.

oh dear lord. monty python holy grail. honestly a great classic movie you should watch with your waifu. i have made parallels to my Previous job before, like the two guards in the castle tower with prince herbert, misunderstanding simple instructions.

ok how about when arthur talks to the crazy cackling old man, seek ye the bridge of death, and arthur is increasingly more direct in trying to gain confirmation: this cave, does it lead to the bridge? the bridge, does it lead towards the HOLY GRAIL, yes or no? and the old man just cackles and disappears. kinda reminds me of dealing with my superiors when i was trying to get help from them. I was trying to think 3 steps ahead and trying to pull teeth out of them, imagining possible unknown unknowns, and they would just leave me hanging.

in their defense i dont think they did it intentionally or were jolly about it. they were all run ragged just like me.

anyway. when you have to dump somebody you just dont feeeeeeeeeeeel right with, you BETTER take YUGE pains to dump them as gently and kindly as possible, because they will be DEVASTATED. also, don’t cavalierly mention how they came BEGGING to have you back YEARS later, like this one bitch in the thread mentions. yeah, because you broke his poor heart and he couldnt live without you and you did a SHITTY job of dumping him! RESPECT HIS PAIN!!!! dont just say, oh yeah im so great guys are devastated when i dump them and come BEGGING for me YEARS later, but i know to say no again because it just doesnt FEEEEEEEL Right. its exactly these kind of women that give a bad name to womens intiution and something not feeling right.

basically it was that same feeling that told me i was Really In Luv with a woman. that i had gone all in with her. that made me gamble everything for a chance with her. went all in and lost. i dont blame or hate them. i got over it all. but just saying. i dont want to NOT have that feeling for muh waifu. Honeymoon Period, Infatuation……or TRVE LUV. whatever you want to call it. I dont think it cheapens true luv to call it that. I think women burning out their infatuation oxytocin receptors for cheap cok thrills, that cheapens true luv.

they dont really go all in. i went in. they just want to hit the jackpot over and over and over just by FOLDING. doesnt work that way. you gotta go all in to get the real jackpot.

take it from the losing gambler hahahaha.

well, its good that you feel guilt for dumping someone and breaking their heart. did you try to be gentle to them? are you still leading them on? did you really try your best to end the rel in as mature of a way as possible, using a shrink maybe?

so she hits him with an unreasonable request, he says, ok thats big, but i will try to learn to cope with this, then she gets mad at THAT, and says NO, you dont GET to try to cope with this, you must accept it as final with no expectations. you’re not FEELING the right way about this. holy shit.

thankfully reddit is ok here, and gives him the voice of reason that he is entitled to feel bad about this and she doesn’t get to make him feel bad for feeling bad! jesus christ!!!!!!!! how about YOU make an effort cupcake! how about YOU accept that this is gonna hurt him! you telling him unilaterally that you dont want to have secs with him any more! instead of you getting mad at him for being upset about that BOMB you just dropped on him! god damn!

im glad he was able to overcome his issues at age 30, and get a decent job and aso a 26 yo GF who isnt a huge slut. but now they are having big problems hehehehehe.

check out this SUPREME GENTLEMAN hahahaha enjoy your virginity incel neet loser. think it sucks at 20? wait til youre 30 hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE. thats what i have.

anxious with possibly avoidant on top of that hahahaha.

because maybe he didnt think his luvly GF was the type of woman who could murder her baby and then think HE was weird because he thought murdering your baby was bad! and she has not grown at ALL since the experience, shown NO remorse, and obviously is the same baby-murdering bitch she was 5 years ago, and probably always will be!

its not BIZARRE at all! it’s horrible that you THINK its bizzarre!!!!!! why not feel even a LITTLE bit bad for murdering your own baby?

hehehehe. you can see that I am strong PRO-LIFE, ANTI-CHOICE. ANTI-MURDER.

if you’re gonna have an abortion……let it CHANGE you. feel deep REMORSE for it. resolve to never do it again. to become a better person. repent for your huge sin. learn that abortion is horrible and you NEVER want to do it again. Become anti-choice and pro-life. not like OP hahahaha.

the fact that you see this as on the same level as having the FLU is DISGUSTING, APPALLING, DISGRACEFUL, ABHORRENT, DEPLORABLE, ABOMINABLE, HORRIFYING. TOTAL MORAL INVERSION. PURE JOOISH EVIL. I BET this gurl is a J

of course, reddit luvs murdering babies so they call the guy an asshole. fook reddit hahahaha.

mention the interesting idea of guys who are “pro choice in theory, but pro life within their relationships.” and then talk about what disgusting woman hating hypocrites these guys are hahahaha. sheeeeeit I hope more of the pro-choice guys are like this. it might be enough to turn them pro-life.

NEVER DATE A WOMAN WHO SAYS SHE IS PRO-CHOICE.

If she asks you if you are pro-choice or pro-life, just say you are pro-life.

ALL pro-choice women are fooked up. They might not be BEYOND REDEMPTION but by GOD it’s NOT YOUR JOB to redeem them. way above your pay grade hahahahaha. you’ve have an easier time redeeming a slut or mudshark than a damn baby murderer hahahahaha. I’m talking about one who wasn’t already on the road to redemption thru her own rightfully guilty conscience. thankfully that happens to a lot of women who murder their babies. they get a rightful guilty conscience about it, and eventually become pro-life and redeem themselves. but half of them don’t, and become evil wimmin on reddit hahahahaha.

anyway dont date wimmin who do not have SERIOUS Moral Reservations against Abortion. NEVER date a vocal, activist, pro-choice woman. if they are undecided that is ok. that means they are uncomfortable with baby murder. as they should be. they are open to questioning the pro-choice bullshit which has been shoved down peoples throats since roe v wade.

you can usually spot the pro choice woman because they will eventually make a pro-choice statement, unprompted, before too long. like oh that woman hater trump is gonna overturn roe v wade and it will be a war on women! that kind of bullshit hahahaha.

Dont be Anti-Life. Be Anti-Choice. Be Anti-Murder.

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PLEASE SCAM ME

dec 25 2016

merry xmassssssssssssss

hehehe i like this brand new tradition i just started where i give xmas donations to decent people. paypal or bitcoin. gave donaations today to fatherland podcast, counter-currents aka grindr greggy, NPI aka richard spencer, daily stormer aka andre, smaller dnation to good morning huhwhyte america with adam and mary. i only listened to 1 episode but i know they are great people, adam appeared several times on fatherland, and GMWA is a beautiful family-oriented husbando and waifu pro-white podcast, which is comfy AF and just good stuff. also very pro-christ hahahaha.

also gave small dnation to GEORGE FEELS and hope he reads my message talking about using small amounts of medical MJ to help with his despair, doing a skype talk one day, using myfitnesspal to count calories and lose weight, and to look moar into the alt-right. really should have given him moar than 5 dollars, but hey he works 30 hours a week hahahahahaha. more than i do!!!!!!

have now dnated 190 dollars to alt-right causes in my life hahahaha. 45 dollars was in bitcoin hahahaha.

heres the message i sent to GEORGE FEELS:

Merry Christmas George! Just found your channel this year and I can relate. Don’t listen to the haters in your comments! But I would respectfully recommend 2 things: 1. do an in-depth experimentation with the legal MJ in your state and make a series of videos fully describing your experience. I suspect that MJ, at the right dosage, can alleviate despair somewhat. 2. MyFitnessPal is a GREAT tool for measuring calories in one’s diet and exercise. It helped me lose a ton of weight fairly quickly. The main thing was that I was simply eating WAY more than I really needed! See the actual numbers helped me discipline my raging appetite haha. You should also check out more Alt-Right stuff like The Right Stuff forums, great positive group of people that can help you feel good about your legacy as a Huhwhyte Man. One day I would ideally like to have a Skype talk with you, but maybe in 2018 haha. Maybe think about recording skype talks with other like minded people. (NOT the hecklers in your comments!!!!) Take care and next time you feel like sipping the Fermented Joo, please try a SMALL dose of The Herbal Joo instead, hahaha. Best wishes to you and your family! Also, are there any young fresh off the boat Ukrainian girls arriving in your area? You could potentially show them around, hahahaha. Take care buddy.

hehehehe. arent I SO NICE???!?!?!?!

I wouldnt send him any money if he were not HUHWHYTE.

There’s a chance he could be a JQ because a lot of JQ’s came from Da Ukraine, I’ve met some IRL. But pretty sure he said something about his family being somewhat christian. of COURSHE j’s can convert to christian, and i don’t like that, but…..gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. i guess there’s a chance he might have uzbek or kyrgyz in him. also gonna give him benefit of doubt. he looks more than 50% huhwhyte. despite the brown hair and brown eyes hahahaha. if he reveals he is not huhwhyte, i will not give him anything next year hahahaha.

if he is 25% jooish and 75% huhwhyte, i would also give him the benefit of the doubt. i am remarkably generous towards quadroons who choose to identify with their huhwhyte side.

played some poker on xmas eve and had a remarkably good day. doubled from 4 to 8 basically after 3 or 4 good hands. PRAISE GOD.

hahahaha i had the first and so far only xmas day dnation to andre anglin hehehehe YOURE WELCOME. he cashed it out within 30 minutes. which is smart, considering the VOLATILITY of btc, and that its own a downswing right now. ENJOY your 6.16 USD goy hahahaha. buy fookin 6 shitburgers on christs bday. how cheap and JQ am I?????!?!?!?!?!?!?

and not many people are dnating to good morning white america at all.

that feel when you are watching the travel channel and you see a jooish gurl you used to go to jooniversity with, and now she is a phd scientist commenting as an expert for TV shows hahahahaha. then you look the tv clip and confirm it is actually the person. she is about your age. well it doesnt say PHD after her name, but she is probably a PHD hahahahahahaha.

well i didnt really hate the gurl. she was a little autistic and weird and jooish, and i knew her because she was dating an acquaintance of mine who was super weird and super autistic and rather jooish hahahaha. this was like 11 years ago. yeah she looks older of course, but it still looked so much like this woman, i had to do some internet research. confirmed it is indeed her. well good for her, i never really hated her. well, other than i was suspect that she didnt give my jooish male acquaintance a fair enough chance. he could not have been easy to date though, he was confirmed super autistic. and they dated for pretty much a long time.

see, i used to be friendly and social with Literal Joos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i would give them both a pass to get out of the oven hahahaha. i wouldnt have a problem with them going to israhell tho hahahahaha.

not gonna donate any money to THEM, they are jooish professionals making like 60 grand a year each hahahaha. at least.

but yeah they werent individually wrecking nations and genociding whites and promoting degeneracy. they were pretty neurotic joos tho!

where do you get off being a BLUE EYED JOO? I just dont get or like that. I mean this gurl was not an ugly ratfaced joo. now i’m wondering, was she even really a joo? I thought she WAS, but yeah, nonugly, blue eyes, you start to wonder. maybe only half JQ?

she wasnt a horrible person though. i would spare her the oven. and him. i liked him better hahahahaha.

just an unexpected thing to see on tv on christmas while watching travel channel with the fam.

i actually sent an EMAIL to george feels because after d’nating to him, I had a concern that concerns him. not going to talk about it here, but we’ll see if he emails me back. used muh new alt right email hahahaha. maybe he will be too intimidated. i tried not to be too intimidating, overwhleming, or pushy, or overbearing.

super JQ tv station vice showed terminator 1 last night, which is a great movie, and my god was linda hamilton not bad looking when she was 24 years old. horry sheet. unfort she shows her bare bosoms like a jooish wh0re. but its a very white knighting sentimental true luv secs scene. i still dont think they should have made her show her milkers though. show true luvsecs without any nudity. other than that the movie is good and not very jooish at all. but yeah my god was she a qt in 1984. in the healthy non-woman-hating man, this will kindle a natural white knight urge. in the mgtow woman-hater, it will kindle nothing, it will make you say, fook you, i’m not gonna white knight for some damn skank, thats how they GET you.  hahahahahahaha. hell no im not gonna fall for this TEMPTRESS’S TRICKS!!!!!!!!

rather you identify with kyle reese and say yes i am going to protect this woman. i mean thats what you SHOULD do.

not resist your NATURAL urge to white knight because bitches be bitches taking advantage of this urge to get gibs! which they DO….but not all women hahahahahahahahahaha.

hmm. i mean if women were damn crafty parasites looking to scam as much gibs as possible…..they would be approaching me and trying to scam ME, thinking, what can i use this poor neet omega virgin for? but that literally NEVER happens!!!!!!!

maybe im just not good enough to even be scammed hahahahahahahahaha.  i mean ….

well i DO have resources that can be scammed!

PLEASE SCAM ME!!!!!!

hhehehehehehehe

i guess im not considered the LOW HANGING FRUIT because i am invisible and im literally NOT advertising that i have a lot of resources to easily scam. like, they’d actually have to WORK to scam me. and yeah, they WOULD. I mean I actually VET people. EXTREME VETTING. I vetted HER too. and she passed the vetting! I still wont retroactively flunk her there! because what she did was simple cowardice, not really a 180 of character, even though it FELT like it at the time, because it was SOOOOO painful.

like they say, never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance. or cowardice. or laziness. she was ignorant and lazy and especially cowardly, but i really dont think she was EVIL.

not gonna donate any money to HER though hahahahaha. she doesnt do anything to strengthen our huhwhyte race hehehehehe. refuses to have anything to do with me.

they say you are over someone when you just don’t care if they are with someone else. well i guess im not there yet but i guess i am kinda close. i mean i dont want to know that she is with someone else! i just dont want to hear about her EVER AGAIN.

well yeah in a way i always care. because im like b1tch, you coulda been WITH ME. damn. i just dont want to hear ANYTHING about them EVER again, unless they want to be with me.

hmm hope paypal didnt shut down my account because im not using my real name. using my alt right name, just opened this account a few weeks ago, to start sending donations under a fake name. tried to send one to TRS and it wouldnt let. either me or TRS has the prob. i would think they would have more of a problem with TRS. “h8” group receiving thousands of shekels. rather than me donating like 20 dollars to various people.

2016-12-25-18_25_00-mint-_-transactions

hahahahahahahahaha SO GENEROUS!!!! SO HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is how i stroke muh ego and muh conscience. i mean i am totally getting something out of it too. a lot. lets not pretend to be SELFLESS about it! the satisfaction is really THAT strong. it’s almost unfair to THEM. i get WAY more Satisfaction out of donating 5 dollars than they get by GETTING 5 dollars!!!!!

but some people wont donate to george because they feel his current videos arent really doing anything. i disagree. and i give him a LITTLE money just as a good faith thing, to put my money where my mouth is, and maybe he will take my advice more seriously. I really WOULD like to see him try some MJ, make videos about it, and i think myfitnesspal really COULD help him lose weight.

as far as getting women, i don’t even know. i’m almost as much a foreveralone virgin as him.

and i also think becoming more racially aware and alt right could help him the same way it helped me.

so i give him this advice and give him a cash tip to show I’m serious hehehe. i mean i dont think he is getting TONS of donations. i bet he gets BARELY ANY. so when somebody donates ANYTHING, he’s likely to LISTEN to them.

i mean shit. he makes more money than I do. probably TWICE as much money as me. ANd I’m donating to HIM?

want to donate ME money? send bitcoin to

13AZJj5mo4QT8UqE9A4v4cERBQ6wFuEF5d

please hahahahhahahahahahahaha.

uhhhh i dont want to give any of my paypals, i’d have to set up a third paypal for this blog, becuase i don’t want to blatantly confirm my alt right WN identity on this blog, though you can probably figure it out, and thats not even a huge deal to me. i just dont want to make it EXPLICIT, exactly because I don’t want to brag about being a neet loser basically. and being a neet loser undermines my credibility as a WN.

it doesn’t go both ways, me saying I Am A WN on this blog doesn’t undermine my credibility as a NEET……because as I neet, I by definition HAVE no credibility!!!!!!!

Neets are more Punished and Shamed than WN’s! Neets are more hated than White Racists!!!!!!!!!

heh. good thing i have both bases covered.

funny how we can see linda hamilton go from being 24 year old beautiful waifu qt, to being like 57 years old in 2016. An Old Menopausal Infertile Withered Old Hag. She’s prob not obese though. could be tho. I heard Shelley Duvall is now obese.

i am not even gonna look up 2016 photos of either of these women. even by T2 in 1996, linda hamilton had certainly lost a lot of her youthful beauty. it’s a direct function of youth!!!!!!! and that was TWENTY fookin current years ago!!!!!

have invested about 130 dollars GAMBLING since i started gambling at the bitcoin poker room in early 2014. almost 3 years. 130 dollars.  43 dollars a year. thats not horrible. i have seen people blow through like 500 dollars in 2 hours at the real casino. HORRIBLE.

dont know what else to say about that!

but i tell you what, i wouldnt mind to have the privilege to go down the street and buy some dank MJ like George Feels can hahahaha. its really weird how he doesnt really mention it. I’m sure he prob mentioned it for 1 minute, or maybe 1 comment, probably something like “i’m not interested in it” or “i tried it once and didnt like it.” but i think he should at least do a full video on it, and he hasn’t done that. he’s mentioned alcohol blatantly in the title of several videos!

and i think MJ would do him better than alcohol.

not saying he should smoke an oz a day, or get so blazed he has a panic attack. which is a very real possibility for many people, including myself, and the THOUSANDS of people who go to EMERGENCY ROOMS in colorado now that mj is legal, and people get SUPER blazed, have a panic attack, think they’re dying or having a heart attack. i’ve BEEN there, DONE that. it HAPPENS, don’t DENY it, you damn degen stoners. anyway, just saying he should take one puff, get a little blazed. better than getting drunk thats for sure.

it just seems WEIRD that a person who lives in a state with LEGAL MJ would not even TRY MJ and make a big obvious statement on it. while others of us daydream about taking a trip to colorado and smokin tons of legal MJ hahahahahahaha. i mean i might just do it. and visit george while i am there. convince him to sm0ke with me hahahahahahahaha. be like try this maaaaannnn, your life isnt getting any better, you arent getting any younger. hahahaha.

wow looks like george michael dead is NOT a hoax. died on xmas. today. kinda ironic because of his huge hit xmas song. last xmas by WHAM! of course. age 53. nothing saying cause of death. i dont think he had GRIDS tbh. maybe drugs then.

one simply does not pass away peacefully at home at age 53. coulda been cancer. that sucks worse than GRIDS. dying of cancer at 53. sheeeeeeeeit.

i mean yeah he was a gay degenerate but so many Famous People died this year. and really, george michael is not as significant as leonard cohen, david bowie, or prince. but you see what i mean. and cohen was the only one that was really OLD and dying at what i would say is a natural age.

yeah well not even degenerates deserve to die on christmas day at age 53. he had a greek name, not sure how white he was. i guess he was a greek cypriot. cypriot greek. i mean its borderline fam. the ancient greeks were absolutely huhwhyte i know. but modern greek cypriots?????? i mean the man was swarthy af. he had the thickest beard I have ever seen. he was pretty handsome tho. but degenerate. he didnt HAVE to be so degenerate.

sheeeeit i wish i had been born in like 1996. kids these days dont WANT to do drugs, they dont WANT negro secs, they WANT to be alt right traditionalists!!!!!! this new generation is interested in the old morality! and NOT in being degenerates, like my older generation was/is!!!! we were all like, yeah lets get FOOKED UP because getting FOOKED UP is FUN and FEELS GOOD and IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!!!!! nothing was sacred, absolutely nothing. all women were dirty sluts. the only pleasure in this world was to get fooked up on alcohol and drugs, cuz everything else sucks.  beat off to porn, go to strip clubs, maybe bang some sluts at best.

young kids these days are rejecting this garbage, AS THEY SHOULD.

so yeah i have a lot of hope and optimism in the young kids of today, in other words. like the kids who are 16 to 20 right now, in 2016. but people who are 26 or older? fook no. they’re finished. beyond redemption.

hey i WANT to be redeemed. I am done with being a degen. HOWEVER I still want to sm0ke MJ. I’m not WILLING to give that up entirely. i want a PASS on that one. i AM willing to keep it a SECRET from the alt right hahahahaha because i totally udnerstand why they don’t like it. i wouldnt want my kids doing it. more than once a year hahahahaha.

i just need it for medicine because i am irreparably broken hahahahahaha.

i know its shameful and i dont have a problem keeping it in the closet!!!!!

but as long as i dont have it i will continue to talk about it hehehehehehe.

also i would only talk about it in the “CLOSET” of muh neet blog, and NEVER in the out of the closet on my alt right blog, which I don’t really have. I guess muh neet blog would be it!

i mean its gonna happen in the next 10 years. each state is falling one by one to the legal MJ train. and you cant just have a country where half the states have it and half dont. each of those states will EVENTUALLY vote in legal MJ. its INEVITABLE. and i am happy about that. just impatient.

well…..SHOULD i be so happy? because i can agree MJ isnt a generally GOOD thing. i just want to be the exception. so why should i want a society that encourages it? i shouldnt!!!!!!

could it be legal AND socially shamed? fook no. come on. look at alcohol and porn. those are tolerated and celebrated!!!!!! if you are an alcoholic yeah thats kinda shameful, but in every town there are bars full of people celebrating alcohol and getting drunk.

 

BEING SENSITIVE IS ALWAYS A NET LOSS

dec 1 2016

had a dream last night about an old friend from my college days that of course we drifted apart, but he was a great guy and i hope he’s doing well. he was both one of the smartest guys i ever met, and also very principled and moral and a good moral person. he was also funny and hilarious and had great social charisma. he was also a very good musician. i had a total mancrush on him and was flattered that he seemed to like me. he had a very great personality and with that personality could probably get any woman he wanted, but physically he was kinda short. he was in great shape though, stayed very active with exercise. i guess he was pretty good at basketball too. well he certainly liked to play it a lot. he was pretty much responsible for introducing me to tom waits. he was fun to drink with and was no square there, but obviously he didnt drink so much that he couldnt be a winner at life. he was going for a phd in cultural marxist frankfurt skool bullshit and i was so impressed by the Brainy Intellectual stuff he read and wrote, that I was so stupid it made no sense to me, all this shit about reifying and rhizomes and deleuze and guattari and lacan and derrida and foucault and badiou and bordieua and baudrillard and adorno and barthes and mcluhan and zizek and all that ((((CRITICAL THEORY)))) stuff.

I had no idea that it was total jooish poison. I’m not sure that he did either!

So, with that perspective, it’s kinda troubling that such a good, solid guy would make his career in something so awful and poisonous. because when you’re young, that shit impresses you because it makes you sound really really really SMART. I actually knew a couple people like this. I had another friend in that same department who was similarly a very nice, charismatic, smart, principled, moral, solid man. they deserve better than this jooish bullshit.

anyway i hope they are both doing well. they are both great guys and I will never forget them. i just dont get the critical theory, cultural marxist, frankfurt school, jooish bullshit.

anyway back to the first guy. he could have had any woman he wanted despite his short stature because his personality was so great. BUT, interestingly, his fashion style was very scrubby, like a damn neet virgin. he could have cleaned up VERY well, but DIDNT. he had long greasy hair and a long wispy “beard”. he probably did not shower enough. this was not from a lack of confidence, but just because he was really that much of a “free spirit artist”, as well as a very smart articulate academic intellectual, as well as having pretty damn good social skills. not an awkward autiste whatsoever, but every bit as high iq as an autist. he just LOOKED like a homeless person hahahahaha. now I think after he finished his phd he started presenting himself better hahahaha. which is good, he was not ugly.

and because he had such a good, strong personality, he could get GFs and had been in several long term monog rels. I don’t think he ever did too much degenerate shit with women. never a “player”, never a womanizer, never open rels, and oh good lord I forgot he was CATHOLIC too!

anyway in the dream he’s like, we gotta watch this movie, it’s great. and I was like great, I like your taste, if you say its good, im sure its good. i mean he did/does have good taste in movies and music and books.

so we started watching this movie that was some 1970s french or italian “art” degeneracy like godard or pasolini. Which I NEVER really liked that kind of artsy fartsy movie, and now I like them even less. because of the jooish degeneracy embodied in them. the opening scene had a bunch of big women with big breasts but also huge erect dicks dancing around like the wild androgynous men/women of borneo. the scene went on for way too long. then the movie went on to tell this artsy, intellectual, elaborate story of how Whites were the Cancer of the Human Race, Whites were evil, whites are all oppressive, horrible natsees, and telling this story in a very artsy, college bourgeois phd sort of way, that you could feel real artsy and intellectually superior.

so my friend asks me what i think and im like oh great, this great guy I admire really likes this antiwhite bullshit, and he’s a brilliant guy, way smarter than me, theres no way i could convince him that whites are great, i mean i cant believe such a smart good awesome guy BELIEVES this bullshit! this could really complicate our Frandship!

And I was like well i dunno, i usually like your taste but I never liked this weird new wave godard pasolini shit, I mean its just too much for me, i mean come on, giant dicks, its just too much for me.

i did not mention the whole antiwhite message. that would be a lot harder to talk about with him.

anyway that was the dream hahahaha.

i never did talk to him about whiteness. but he was a great white man. and he did finish the phd i THINK. im sure he’s still a great guy, i just hope he doesnt spend too much of his career talking about how bad whiteness is.  and white = evil. he got along with nonwhites very well, which i think his family had some nonwhite foster children in their home. now for weev that helped weev become race conscious because the nonwhite children sucked. my friend, i guess his nonwhite foster “siblings” werent so bad. well good for him then hahaha.

i dont want to dox the guy hahaha.

but yeah what would HE say about the alt right, or whiteness? would he be a terrible shitlib saying that anyone who uses the term “cultural marxism” is a crazy, white, racist conspiracy theorist. cultural marxism is not a real thing.

i never read any of his papers. well i think i read a few pages at the time, and it made no sense. i dont remember anything about whiteness. maybe some stuff about signifiers and reification.

so i could easily look up his papers NOW and read them and probably get a sense of what he thinks about whiteness, right?

yeah probably! and im not sure i WANT to !

it was also funny we never really talked about his skoolwork that much, he never talked about it, and he also didnt seem to spend much time on it. he seemed to have PLENTY of free time to hang out, watch movies, go out, be social. i thought phd students were supposed to be chained to their books and work 80+ hours a week!!!!!! but not him!

so was he a bad student? maybe, but its kinda hard to be a “bad student” and get into a All Expenses Paid PhD program at a Very Good Skool. i mean thats how smart he was.

shit i would have liked to hear him teach a class, or do a phd defense especially. i know eventually he started teaching undergrads like most grad students did.

anyway he was/is a great guy, i wish him the best, but i also want him to have white children! he would be a great father of course.  there is a risk that he might marry a nonwhite woman though. although when i knew him, all his GFs were white women.

ok heres whats interesting. some white people go into an Urban Public School full of poor blacks and they become redpilled on race, like yep once i saw the real world, i knew that blacks and whites are very different.

and other whites say i became even MORE committed to education because i saw how precious these poor black children were, they were every bit as smart as anybody else, they just need better resources, opportunities, education, etc, so ive spent my life really trying to help these kids who really really NEED that help.

so which is the truth about race hahahaha.

i have no doubt there are many smart ghetto black kids out there that would benefit from a good education. plenty of little dr ben carsons out there.  but honestly i have no desire, and im honestly not TOUGH ENOUGH, to want to work in a black school to help those kids. i would rather teach white kids. really i dont want to teach kids at all hahahahaha. beyond being a homeschool teacher of my own children, and even there i dont trust my abilities!

but yeah when i was hanging out with somebody i thought was really really cool like that, i sometimes felt insecure and inferior, like im nowhere NEAR that cool, why are they hanging out with ME? once they find out how uncool i am, theyll get bored with me and dump me.

i guess i felt a similar way about women that i liked! that i was “privileged” enough to hang out with a few times!

classic inferiority complex. im not cool enough to be friends with this person. im not cool enough to date this grill.

and the women eventually “proved” it by dumping me, although the men i had mancrushes on, well they were pretty much “faithful” to me though! like i say, they were good solid moral men through and through, and never did me wrong! we just drifted apart due to time and distance.

hehehehe kinda wish i had met him when i was in high school hahaha. not to crap on my high school friends tho hahaha. but i might have had a chance at getting his Sloppy Seconds hahahaha. that was how much of an omega i was, i couldnt even get Sloppy Seconds because my friends couldnt get sloppy seconds either hahahaha.

well i prob could have gotten sloppy seconds from one of my friends who was ok with the ladies, qt ones too……but i was so proud i didnt WANT sloppy seconds from muh friends! or i just thought it was weird and gross. it IS pretty weird and gross!!!!!!!!! plus I wanted a GF, not casual hookup secs. i didnt like SLUTS back then either! i wanted a NICE GURL! i.e., not a slut.

so yeah, i pretty much ALWAYS disliked sluts. very consistent there.

ok thats enough memory lane bullshit. i just wish i were doing more in the present that would make good memories later. but all i got is the failure of the last 3 years, the painful memory of That Woman, etc. nothing really GOOD that i will happily remember. well maybe the good times i had with that woman. but i dont WANT to remember those! i want to have BETTER memories with a BETTER woman!

see i use overthinking as a way to cope with stress and worry. IF I THINK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH, I WILL FIGURE OUT AN ANSWER AND FIX THE PROBLEM. but it never works like that. i never find the answer. i never fix the shit. i just think and think and think and worry and ruminate and overanalyze and write and write and write and write. i order for things to improve, i need to get out and actually DO shit.

the best punishment for sluts is for their fathers to shake their heads and say i am very very very disappointed in you, and you will have to work to regain my approval.

but this assumes sluts HAVE fathers who can BE disappointed in them.

so without that….i think i determined shaving the sluts head bald would be a good punishment.

how about tattoo on their forearm saying “SLUT”? pretty good, but that would be guaranteeing they would never STOP being a slut.

how about a tattoo somewhere nonvisible then?

like i said…..I NEVER liked sluts.

I WILL give a slut a chance, if she’s really willing to repent and reform. of course how do you trust that? i guess look at her repentance. the first slut i was with was a very secs-positive bourgeois jooess, so of course she wasnt ashamed of being a cvm dumpster, she thought it was liberating and empowering.

hehehe there are two kinds of people in the world, racists and nonracists, and never the twain shall meet. i think if all the racists segregated away from the nonracists the world would be a better place. and then of course in the racist side, each race would then segregate.

whites are racist! racism is the worst evil! whites are evil!

once you realize this is what they are really saying, you cant unhear it hahahaha.

there is literally NO BENEFIT to being sensitive. it is WEAK. FRAGILE. NON TOUGH. being TOUGH is ALWAYS good. weak people break down and cant get shit done. and they are miserable because everybody rejects them because they are weak and sensitive. hahaha.

oh but they see the world in a unique way and create great art!

  1. at least half of them DONT, i never created great art
  2. well thats not entirely true, I wrote 2 and a half pretty good songs. long epic songs too haha. and a bunch of decent bukowski ripoff poems. and at least 3 book length blogs. 1 sweet doom level.
  3. art is not that important. its a nice luxury but its not very useful at all. it is not a vital role in society. its nice to have, and its really fun to listen to music from ages 11 to 25 or so, but after that, theres more important things to do, like run society, have children, and music and art does not help with that at all. yeah it adds to a sense of culture but you know what else does? children. government and society and civilization. people inventing shit and building civilizations and employing people and doing work. this takes TOUGH, STRONG people, not SENSITIVE, WEAK people.

plus there is plenty of good art made by Tough, Strong people!

oh but sensitive people Love more deeply.

but this is WORTHLESS unless they find another sensitive person who can APPRECIATE that AND luv them the same way back! Sensitive Luv is just Wasted on Tough, Nonsensitive Normies! they will DUMP you for being too WEAK and NEEDY!!!

and how many sensitives are there? it CANT be more than 25%.

so yeah, ITS NOT WORF IT to be sensitive and weak hahahaha. i wanna trade it in to be tough. so i can LUV people more intensely! that is TOTALLY not worth it! I don’t WANT to luv people so intensely! theres something WRONG with me!

all this sensitivity has made it excruciatingly difficult to live a normie adult life with 26k job and 6.51/10 waifu!

i should see if muh new 13k a year job can send me on a business trip to colorado. or NV, CA, OR, WA, or MA hahahahahahahahahahahaha. every week.

i mean shit theres an idea. why not do job searching in colorado?

because I dont really want to MOVE to colorado, i want to stay near muh family! they are the only family i have! i wouldnt mind visiting colorado for a week or 2 and being ridiculous blazed that whole time, but i dont really want to MOVE ANYWHERE!

and some people are not like this. they dont mind moving anywhere in the world. shit i kinda wish i were more like that. because that is a TOUGHER person. who will leave their family behind to go where the jobs are.

you know you like somebody when you make a MIX tape/cd/stream for them. did anyone ever do that for ME?

well sort of. there were some manly no homo mixes in there where i exchanged Metal Mixes with another Metal Fan who worked at the Music Shop where I took some Guitar Lessons hahahaha. good guy but he was more into death metal, like Early Technical Death Metal with especial liking to Technical Death Metal Bass. I wonder if he was happy about all the new technical death metal that has come out. i cant even. like maybe necrophagist and stuff like that hahaha. i dont know. not my cup of tea.  we both liked bands like nile and cynic and early cryptopsy. naturally he really liked death. i liked their “sound of perseverance” album but never got much further. (although now i am kinda interested in their old stuff, hehehehe.)

well ultimately ive always been more of a black metal guy than a death metal guy, and he could not help me there.

oh shit i wonder what he would say about deathspell omega. that is probably the most technical band i like. and they really are TOO damn technical hahahahaha.  cool it with the nonsense riffs guy. i thought you were black metal hehehehe. technical black metal. i am probably more open to that that technical death metal.

could demilich be called technical death metal? i know they have very cult following.

again, i like stuff thats more Atmospheric and Emotional and Sensitive.

but its funny. i stopped paying attention to metal for like 5 years and those were THE most important years TO pay attention because SO much shit happened. when i came back to metal, it was like a whole new world. 10 generations of evolution had happened and suddenly i was an old man who didnt understand the youth. all within 5 years.

i was out of it from like 2002 or 3 until 2008 or 9?

uhhhhhh yeah between 2002 and 2009 a LOT of shit DID happen in metal hahahaha.

it would have been nice to have been paying attention when the deathspell album “Si Monumentum” came out in like….2004?

well i DO remember when paracletus came out in 2010.

i DO remember when varg got out of prison and came back with “belus” in like 2010.

i remember when the alcest album “ecailles de lune” came out and invented “blackgaze” hahahaha.

so yeah i didnt miss it all.

anyway metal. i dont even like talking about metal with metal fans, because they like different metal bands than me and will try to push some metal bands on me, when im not looking for new metal super actively. there needs to be a come to jesus moment and then ONE BAND will reveal itself to me at the right time, like saor right now.

i am very ok with that, im just grateful to be able to enjoy fresh music at all anymore!

did i mess up muh brain with too much alcohol and MJ when i was young?

YES, PROBABLY!!!!!

i used to be smart in high school! i was great at high school! i peaked in high school, hahahaha.

then 15 years later, you have to tell people, i was smart in high school! I SWEAR!!!!!! I WAS SMART ONCE!!!!! and then these young smartasses roll their eyes. yeah right, old dumb man. then why are you working here at your age. obviously didnt make good decisions with your life.

yikes i get to writing and then it INEVITABLY BECOMES super negative and despairing and horribly derpressing!!!! SO STOP WRITING!!!!!!

just as surely inevitable as the sp1c n1g cycle will guarantee that sp1cs and n1gs will inevitably stuff themselves with fried meat until they become crippled by morbid obesity and require heroic medical care until they gracelessly expire, hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah. theres no benefit to being sensitive, weak, and fragile. these are BAD THINGS!

the TOUGHER you are, the easier time you will have in life, the better you will do in life, the less suffering you will suffer through. the more self respect you will have from being able to achieve a minimum of normieness.

psilocybin decreasing depression and anxiety? ok i’ll buy that hahaha. i would have to take a TINY dose though. i took psilocybin exactly twice in muh life. when i was 20 years old. ykes. the first time was ok. the second time was HORRIBLE and i felt horribly alone and alienated and heartbroken and despairing.  realy more sorrow and emptiness than anxiety. which i guess is actually BETTER than anxiety. that feeling of panic is just horrible. but thats the last time i will ever do mushrooms around a woman i am in luv with who doesnt like me hahaha and would rather be Romantic with other guys in front of me hahahaha.

maybe that is why i am so sensitive to rejection. cuz i did mushrooms WHILE a woman was essentially rejecting me, so it imprinted somehow. really the only way to “fix” that is to do mushrooms while i am with a woman and she is Totally Accepting me. being with me, having tender monog relship secs, cuddling, etc.

i would also do it alone.

i would also be open to doing super duper tiny doses like they did in this medical experiment. though when you “TRIP” they always say dont take too LITTLE, you gotta take enough to actually feel something maannnn.

so i say just take a teensy weensy bit. like taking one puff of MJ. you ever take one puff of MJ and feel it? then you might be a sensitive snowflake like me hahahaha.

so yeah i would be open to that. take such a tiny dose that you could get up in the morning and go to WORK the next day like you can with MJ hahahaha.

HA! this “straight dope” message board looks pretty good

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812509

can you be mistaken about your own romantic luv for a person

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812505

tell me your job search techniques

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=812025

how many females are open to the idea of a scat fetish in a relship hahahahahaha

great quote from that one:::  ”

11-27-2016, 01:42 PM
astro astro is offline
Guest
Join Date: Jul 1999

OK maybe there is a beautiful, kind, loving woman out there who will shit on a plate so you can eat her feces and relish the intimacy this creates for you. You gaze into her gorgeous, endless eyes as you take your fork and carefully nip off some of the warm, fragrant brown turd she has produced for you. You inspect it lovingly and notice how it was formed in convergent layers by her bowel and the little bits and pieces of undigested food woven throughout. No pinworms or other creatures are waving back at you, so reverently you lift the morsel to your nose inhaling deeply and flaring your nostrils to get the full impact. The pungent aroma is overpowering so close and up you are in heaven.

You pass the aromatic brown chunk between your lips and explore it with your tongue rolling it around it your mouth. Firm yet soft you feel it dissolving in your mouth before you gulp it down. You want more and dig in! Seeing you smacking and chewing so lustily with a filmy smear of poo, her poo, coating your lips she gazes beatifically at you and the connection is so real you feel transcendent.

Hope you find your gal.       ”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hehehehehe nice

well you need to take a few years and get some therapy and fix yourself before you can ever be cured of your virginity, and also you have such deep issues, you will never get a gf, just maybe some casual sexs with crazy sluts, after you do like 5 years of therapy.

 

dump him because his lack of success in his career indicates immaturity and abusiveness and issues and insecurity and that he’s in a bad place and is incapable of being in a relship because he’s not happy with his career and never will be until he gets his masterz degree and gets a sweet office job that he finds SO FUN AND FULFILLING just like you

from this thread:    ”         [–]Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez 2 points 48 minutes ago
Here’s what people usually want when they say they want closure: they want to have the last word in all the major arguments they had with their ex, and they want their ex to listen and say “you’re right, I was wrong,” and mean it. But this is a fantasy. As I’m sure you realize, the conversation wouldn’t go anything like that in real life.       ”

hehehehe nice way of putting that. closure is bullshit. a myth. there is never any closure. you always want the other person back, until you havent seen them in 4 years and then you dont really want them any more. then you see then and you want them again and need a few months just to get over seeing them once hahahahaha.

took a tiny benedryl tablet instead of taking nyquil tonight. felt like one or the other.

i never liked the the write shit but dont send it approach.  i say send that shit. hold them accountable!! they dont get to do EVERYTHING on THEIR terms! They SHOULD see that their actions have consequences on other people!!

damn man that sucks. wanting her back after years because you know the shit is fixable. yeah but maybe she wouldnt want to fix it and would just dump you when you tried to fix it. being WILLING to fix it is just as important as being ABLE to fix it.

oh well just dump the toxic mentally ill abuser and find a better man, people are so upgradable like that.

NOT EVERY WOMAN WILL TREAT YOU LIKE YOU ARE REPLACEABLE, UPGRADABLE, OR DISPOSABLE!!!!!

even if they might like casual sex with a revolving door of replaceable, disposable dicks hahahaha.

dec 2

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/i-dont-want-relationship-okay-0

if you dont want a relship mmkay, then you shouldnt have SECS. SECS shoudl ONLY occur WITHIN a relship. a mongo (hehehe) longterm relship. if you dont want a relship then you should also enter a period of Voluntary Celibacy until you ARE ready and willing to be in a relship. and THEN you can have your damn FUN SECS again hahaha.

fookin sociopath. so focused on their damn career that they dont see the benefit of a serious rel.

ok i am looking fwd to getting haircut today, very soon, and just wanted to record this damn stupid dream i had last night

YES it had THAT WOMAN and in a big way. I recall i was hanging out with her and laying my head on her beautiful soft white stomach and just rambling on about bullshit like music or something, even though i was very very worried about the state of our relship, but was scared to talk about it, so i just talked about anything else. however i felt there was still hope because she was willing to hang out wiht me and let me lay my head on her bare stomach. which is kind of intimate IMHO. never did that in real life hahahaha. couldnt even hang out with her anymore hahaha.

then i left and continued being worried. then i guess she dumped me. i went back to talk to her and she started literally running away. and i began chasing her and she conitnued running. i was running too. i was screaming after her pathetic begging things: please just talk to me! please respond! please lets just talk about this! PLEASE DONT TREAT ME LIKE THIS! i recall saying that exactly.

then i was heartbroken. then i was talking with another female friend i had during college. i was never attracted to or in luv with her. we just got along ok and had mutual respect. she was very smart and very funny. on the downside she was very shitlib (so was everybody) and had issues with Secsual Morality. At heart she was a good person who was mashed into this jooish neurotic somewhat mess because of Kollige and the Middle Class Career World, which her family was firmly in, and unfortunately pressuring her with high expectations.  also she was supremely judgmental and liked to gossip about drama. I am the SAME WAY, but these women were actually a little bit WORSE. they were still good people though. they just needed to cool it with the drama! also she was nonwhite, therefore Im not such a hateful racist that i want to throw all nonwhites in the oven hahahaha.

so in the dream i told her how devastated i was and she wasnt really being THAT comforting, saying, well, if she’s running away from you, she obviously doesnt want to talk to you! so stop trying to talk to her.

but i really really really WANT to talk to her!

well she OBVIOUSLY doesnt WANT to talk!

but thats SO UNFAIR! she doesnt get to throw me away like a piece of garbage without being held accountable for the consequences! you want to get out of this, you have to go through the discomfort of a damn uncomfortable conversation at least!

so i convinced the female friend to go and meet with That Woman and kind of act as my attorney/advocate because That Woman was not allowing me to meet and talk with her.

i was riding in a taxi with the woman friend. i was nervous as shit because this was my last chance to say what i wanted to say, and i had to say it through this other person. i was trying to use Wise Mind and articulate myself as clearly as possible as to what i wanted to say. I remember very clearly saying “I fully accept her decision. I’m not asking her to be with me. sure, in an ideal world i’d like her to be with me, but I fully accept that she’s decided to end the relationship. what i’m asking for is just….i dunno. more recognition of my broken heart. more recognition that our relationship was meaningful and valuable to her. we knew each other for 3 years and i THOUGHT i meant something to her, was valuable to her, made a difference in her life, and we shared what i thought was a great connection and some great memories. i never wanted to hurt her. and i never wanted her to HATE me. it seems like she hates me. what did she think i did? I want to know what she’s thinking and feeling about this, and to tell her what Im thinking and feeling about it. that’s why I just want to meet with her and talk to her, and its so frustrating she’s not willing to do that.”

basically not a big chance from real life here.

i also wanted to show my other female friend (WHOOPS, not supposed to refer to women as “females”, that is a TELLTALE SIGN that you are a huge redpill neet incel entitled niceguy omega virgin nevergf woman hater!!!!! who sees women as some weird alien species and not human beings!!!!) that i was in the right, that i wasnt some kind of creepy stalker controlling abuser manipulator who wanted something unreasonable.

the friend went in and i sat in the taxi very nervously.

after like an hour the friend came out and said that That Woman said she didn’t feel I really CARED ABOUT her as a real person, that I was just trying to MANIPULATE HER INTO SECS. (basically accusing me of being a Niceguytm.) that i had no regard for her feelings and wasnt willing to listen to her.

then i got angry and was like WRONG. thats TOTALLY WRONG. I care about her SO MUCH! I am DEVASTATED! i will be devastated for the next year! it wasnt all about secs! it was about LOVE and having a loving rel! i wanted a HELL OF A LOT MORE than just secs! this is about luv! hearts! relships! sharing lives together! and i care very much for her! i want the best for her! i want to be with her and help her build a happy life! and to share a happy life together! shes got this all WRONG! can i just go in there and talk to her myself! no? goddamn why cant she just let me talk to her???!!?!?! can you go back in there please and tell her what i just told you??

(it was kinda like my job where callers could not speak directly to the level 2’s who knew how to explain bad news, and had to go through ME, who didn’t really understand the shit!)

the friend advocate sighed, like yeah thats not gonna work, but i’ll go back in there one more time for you.

then she did. then she taxi drove away with me in it. we picked up some black thugs and dropped them off at a casino. i was like shit we gotta get back to where we were. i didnt know how to get there from where we now were. i asked the driver if he could go back to the house where we were before. he said sure. he was clearly very foreign and i thought he might be bullshitting, because it didnt look like we were getting any closer. i asked him where he was from and i think he said georgia. like the country of.

so that was about it. it was a very vivid, long, movielike dream. i think the benedryl put me into a deeper sleep and therefore a deeper dream. it was not great. pretty much illustrated what was going on in real life, except now i had an advocate who was willing to talk to her on my behalf, and she was able to confirm that That Woman had a very Wrong opinion on What I Had Done. in real life, i have no idea what she was thinking.

but really, her having the Wrong Idea did not make me any happier, in fact i was just more frustrated, and just wanted to send the advocate back in there to show that I was Right, and She Was Wrong!

see that reddit quote about closure about hahahaha.

so yeah. also the dream was sad because at the beginning i actually DID see her and had an intimate moment with her like i never had in real life. but the moment wasnt intimate for her AT ALL!

hhehehe. if it takes you longer than a year to get over…….then hell yeah it was true love!!!! fook yes you CARED ABOUT them!

so i hate the accusation that you just want SECS when really, you are in LUV with them and CARE about them and want the best for their LIFE!

but no its all about secs secs secs with these women. and not even sacred, holy, loving, babymaking, relationship secs, but they reduce everything down to negro casual sex. its the only thing they understand hahahaha. absolutely disgusting.

ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. I guess i just wanted her to experience some consequences and not be able to avoid them so completely. i sure experienced some damn consequences.

that doesnt mean that i want to inflict pain or punishment on her! more like, i just want her to feel some REMORSE and to reflect on this and learn how to not do this again in the future!

and probably she will learn from it, and treat other guys better, and i will never know, and never experience the Better Kinder More Mature Her!

she was already very kind, i experienced a lot of her general kindness, so i know she was capable of it. it was just a matter of Choking in a High Pressure moment. like i never did that before! like on the job or something.

yeah but with a Relship, I would have at least written an email hahahaha. that doesnt require a lot of effort or courage.

well it DOES involve courage when you actually SEND it. maybe she DID write an email but wasnt courageous enough to click send!

so yeah i did not enjoy that dream hahahaha.

looking at days since spreadsheet because i put haircuts on there….

507 days since i last talked to her… (16.9 months)

473 days since i last emailed/contacted her   (15.77 months)

81 days since last haircut, yeah its time hahaha

389 days since intentionally looking at/using jooish filth pornography

later

got haircut at mens haircut place, good prices

rambled on to older white slavic woman about what i wanted. hard to articulate. finally got to the following clear actionable instructions:

“2 ON TOP, 1 ON THE SIDES”

and hopefully she understood that. i should write that on a flashcard which i bring next time in roughly 10 weeks hahahaha.

i usually get 1 or 2 all around. never this fading or two diff lengths. breaking out of comfort zone. it looks all right. somewhat militaristic and fashy. not bad.

2 ON THE TOP, 1 ON THE SIDES.

just tell them that. short. direct. unfookupable hahaha. these are the kind of instructions i like to receive for muh job. not some vague bullshit that can be interpreted 10 different ways, then you have to go back and ask 10 clarifying questions, and they sigh and eye roll and think youre an idiot even though they gave you these stupid vague instructions that they probably didnt even read or realize how vague they were.

so i should assertively say: i dont like vague instructions. i like clear, concise, unambigious instructions. 2 on the top, 1 on the sides. im not going to waste your time with stupid questions, so dont waste my time with stupid instructions that require stupid questions for clarification.

fooking fookbitch.

so yeah that dream sucked. its faggy as fook to lay your head on a gurls stomach but i like the idea of it.

i dont get it. secs is so cheap for them, they think you want cheap sex, when you want expensive luv, and then they get mad at you (well, NOT you, but niceguys, which we are NOT) when you want something that they consider cheap, which you dont even really want. cuz Cheap Sex is all they understand. when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail hahahahaha.

yeah being a niceguy is bad and shameful but i STILL think women overreact to it. but im still not saying i was a niceguy hahahaha. cuz its bad and i really dont want to be that. but they overreact. they think you are a HORRIBLE person, when you are really just a WEAK, COWARDLY person.

kind of like her. I dont think she is a HORRIBLE person, i think she is generally a good, maybe even GREAT person, she just had a moment of cowardice.

how come women cant give us the same BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT?

yeah well not all women, not all women, not all women hahaha. not even most women would not give you the benefit of the doubt.

but yeah i sure would have liked to cuddle with her and touch her white stomach hahahahaha. so it sucks to DREAM about that 16 months later.

like the guy in that reddit. he went on dates with 30+ women and still couldnt stop comparing them to the woman who dumped him, who he couldnt get over, years later. the only thing thats gonna fix this for him is to find a woman who is BETTER. who can make him feel luv again.

that story resonated with me because hes in his 30s and wants to have children and a wife, and he wanted that woman to be his wife, and have children with her, and he can’t see having children with anyone else yet. yep when you get older and want a wife and children, the stakes are even higher than when you are 20 and just fooking like a horny n199er. and not all of us wanted to be degenerates like that!

basically i view women as degen n199ers who cant keep it in their pants, and me as a principled man who is more moral and principled and white and better and seeks a higher morality and understands deeper truths. which isnt entirely wrong, as i believe my principled view of sex is the Better one. and i want a woman who shares that Core Value. hard to find a woman who doesnt treat secs like a horny n1993r tho!

ff12 has good music too, another great game, i never thought this game was underrated hahahaha.

so basically i view women as these alien monsters, who i have a yearning desire and obsession over, who throw cheap sex at everyone but me, who finds sex very very expensive, so i have a combination of deep resentment and deep desire for women. well, young (25 year old, marriage age, fertile) women! I want them so badly, I can’t have them, and they don’t want me.

these are the Big Kahuna of Cognitive Distortions that i need to address.

that and they undervalue something I value so highly, so i imagine them as sinful devils blaspheming my holy morality. like they are literally The Devil. The Enemy of Man. the Adversary. the living embodiment of Sin and Distancing yourself from Truth, Beauty, and Goodness. Women Are EVIL.

when really they are just Complicated PEOPLE, just like you and me hahahahahahaha.

so reddit says read books and watch tv and movies made by women, so you can view women as real people. go read margaret atwood or watch orange is the new black.

yeah but these are all feminists who have to slip in some man hating marxism. so whenever i read a woman doing that…..i dont understand or like women any better, i just dislike them more hahahaha. like you dirty fooking communist traitors.

so the best would be to read like books by a woman i like, like ann coulter hahahahaha.

maybe i should read the new megyn kelly book which she is promoting like crazy and which people are apparently buying like crazy too hahahha.

some feminist on reddit said “men worry that women will laugh at and reject them. women worry that men will raep and K them.”

yeah ok there is a kernel of truth there. but that doesnt mean women should be degenerate slutty n1993rs.

i like this trvmp “thank you” victory tour. he has been very busy since the election and hasnt had a rally in WEEKS, when he used to have a rally every day and give huge rousing speeches every day. it was weird to see him out of the spotlight. basically what he’s been doing is “hiding out” in trvmp tower talking to people and making big decisions of who he wants on his team. whcih is great, but i want him to come out in front of the cameras and 100000000 cheering people and call the media a bunch of disgusting animals and build the wall and drain the swamp and MAGA and make good deals. hopefully he does Rallies when he is prez.

so yeah if you worry men will r and kill you, dont put yourself in situations where you are basically putting yourself out there on a platter for those men, basically saying R me and K me!!!!!!!!!!

doesnt mean any woman DESERVES to be R’d and K’d, it’s just DONT BE STUPID. dont be the kid who jumps into harambe’s paddock. dont put your head in a lions mouth. dont point a loaded gun at your face. dont tease men when you don’t know that man, you dont know that he’s not a dangerous man.

you come SO CLOSE to really knowing a woman as A Human Being, and then she does a total 180 and throws you out of her life in a way that you cant even image doing to another human being.

not all women Would Do That, not even most women Would Do That.

if you’re not sure the best way to dump someone, just pay a Social Worker $50 to do it for you. don’t go out to lunch or dinner for a while. use secs to coerce your FWB’s into paying for your Birth Control, or to just give you the $50 for the shrink. suck off your Boss for $50. cuddle with some omega orbiter for a $50 fee. you know how EASY it is for you to get $50????!!?!?!?!?!

just hold off buying stupid clothes and shoes and purses for a week. small price to pay for saving somebody Thousands of Hours of Suffering.

you and i should probably listen to this song 3 times every day. quite possibly the single most POWERFUL song ever written.

music by dougie maclean who is not the composer of the film score, who is trevor jones, who took the dougie maclean song and integrated it into the score.

heh i think uncle bern should get a wife but i have bought his book as a way of supporting him. i wish i could have bought it from him directly. he is a good, principled man who i have admired for years. apparently he tells some personal anecdotes about his relships with women in this one, so thats worth the price of admission for me.

it was either that or donate to his paypal or patreon. which i still might do.

https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress [dot] com/2016/03/01/the-real-millennial-woes-student-debt-homeless-priced-out-of-parenthood-and-no-pension/

(doesnt have anything to do with the guy MW, a good article and blog nonetheless)

heh. so i took the plunge and joined patreon so i can pledge 1.67$ to millennial woes per month ($20 per year hehe)

and $1 to uncle bern per month. in the past i would have given him moar. i will give him more if he becomes a huhwhyte nationalist or has children hahahahaha. but he does deserve to quit his damn soul crushing school job and become a Content Creator Fulltime.

2 years ago i emailed him and asked him if i could donate to him. he said no thank you i really dont want to do that. i said hey im happy to donate but you do what you want. well hes changed his mind in the past 2 years and i can’t blame him. he produces great stuff and deserves to quit his damn stupid job. and we SHOULD pay him for sacrificing his personal time to make great videos and podcasts. its not a donation, its paying for a valuable service hehehehe. he’s given me hours of education and enjoyment so why SHOULDNT i give him some money. he apparently has begun to understand that concept.  maybe when he quits his job he will reveal that he knows all about the JQ.

i also see it as whites helping whites hahahahah. i wouldnt donate to a nonwhite.

anyway that disgruntled scholar or whatever i linked above points out a very important point that was interestingly enough quoted from a jooish guardian article: that 27 year old millennials in 2016 are bitter and butthurt because they think about their boomer parents when THEY were 27 and how they already had a HOME and CHILDREN. it is very sad to get old enough that you WANT children, and then realize you CANT AFFORD THEM. and that you cant afford to own a home that isnt in a violent nonwhite crime ghetto. and you might not even be able to afford that. buy a home in midtown oakland or gary hahahaha or newark. the ghettoest ghetto of new orleans.

why would you ever want children? then you cant enjoy life experiences and tinder hookups and travel. why would you want to own a home when you cant rent an apt with 10 roomates when youre 30? and those black ghettos are only violent because of a cycle of poverty adn institutional racism created by WHITE PEOPLE. you SHOULD live there so you can reap what you sow. SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS, hahahahahaha.

i thought i was all about that hahaha.

cereal

hehehehe one of the best gifs i have seen in months. if you are in a bad mood watching this could probably still be guaranteed to make you laugh.

cereal-bowl-mouth

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

cereal-bowl-mouth  cereal-bowl-mouth cereal-bowl-mouth

so classic. i bet that man has had 1,488,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times more secs and cuddling and making out that i have hahahahahahaha.

ok i should have a smaller version of the moving gif too

cereal cereal cereal

bretty kewl amirite hahahahahahaha

cerealcerealcerealcerealcereal

now is there something actually pornographic about this, or do i think that just because my brain has been thoroughly pornified by jooz?

i wish i could see this, and really the whole world, and WOMEN, through the eyes of an innocent who had never seen the thousands of hours of PORN I have watched. it really warps your damn mind.

i mean i havent watched it seriously in a YEAR and i still feel the effects.

and how many guys have not watched porn in a YEAR. like less than 1% hahahahahaha.

well thats pessimistic. maybe 10% hahaha. NOT ALL MEN WATCH PORN!!!!!!!!

i think he must have some kind of plastic ring in his mouth to be able to hold it open in that weird shape.

oh those stupid WHITE frat boys. these white males are the stupidest jackasses on the planet.

wearing warm Kodiak Heat Socks from walmart, they are warmer than regular socks. but its not super cold out there. it Feels Like 28 degrees, ok thats kinda cold, but not man cold.

well people in fookin williston north dakota probably get their cold weather socks at walmart too hahahaha so i am as getting as good as they are. WALMART.

if you cant get it at walmart, it isnt worth buying hahahahaha.

 

FEMALE PROMISCUITY IS A WAY WORSE MORAL THREAT THAN G4Y SECS (pt 2)

june 11

hahahahah i just donated 1 dollar to STORMFRONT hahahahahahaha via bitcoin.

nothing wrong with stormfront even though TRS is kewler. I have spent a few hours reading stormfront in my life and I will probably spend a few more. even though they make 5000 dollars a month which is way more than i will ever make hahahaha.

now i donated 1 dollar to counter currents. i am really TAKING OWNERSHIP hahahaha in the pro-white resources I have taken from in muh life.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/an-appropriate-view-of-women-vs-mgtow-and-r-theredpill/27754/1

FANTASTIC hahahaha

http://archive.is/VaJfB

not sure if these pages can be archived

donated 50 cents to internet archive because even this is an important thing to do. even if they archive antiwhite pages. hey also archive prowhite pages.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160611171651/http://feministing.com/2016/05/03/things-that-are-sexually-ethically-weird/

hehehehe dont read this stupid and triggering article

well archives dont capture disqus comments which is unfortunately.

donated 1 dollar to tradyouth which i think matthew heimbach is still associated with. not sure how close they are to traditionalist workers party.

sheeeit anyone else I can donate to?

managed to apply for 4 jobs on a saturday hahahahaha. the county lets you apply for the same job twice. nothing like you’ve already applied for this job. you could apply for the same job, same job NUMBER, which probably is not a GUID or something like that, ie a totally unique identifier. multiple times.

applied for county job in the county MORGUE where there would be probably lots of exposure to DEAD BODIES. JEEZ.

i can investigate the white trash teenage whores who die of fentanyl OD’s hahahaha. maybe I would come across THAT WOMAN on the morgue slab hahahahahaha. no thats really not that funny. I was implying that she would get into painkillers like her white trash peers. and she never was. but with white trash, its always a risk.

i guess I could donate to MPC. or Red Ice.

is there some kind of SLPC, antifa, doxxing campaign where you try to identify who owns what bitcoin address? because people put their btc addresses online. and anyone can look up any btc transaction. including mine hahaha. and see that i have donated to daily stormer, trs, stormfront, counter currents, all pro white racist stuff hahaha.

be like hey managerz look who muh real name is donating money too hahhaha. he is a NAZI. i dont care if people think im a nazi…….unless those people have POWER over me or they can SLANDER me publicly. i dont want random people to know i am a nazi hahahahaha. when i am semi anonymous then yeah. but openly, with my real name? only if we are INTIMATE longterm friends!

or the FEDZ now have me on a LIST because they can see that I sent BITCOIN to WEEV, who the feds put in prison and I think destroyed his home? I don’t think I’d like to be Roommates with Weev, but he is a very fascinating guy and I am very glad he is on Our Side, and I think he’s gonna stay on our side. And on the off chance he doesn’t, then I will stop giving him $5 a year hahahaha.

maybe THAT WOMAN will betray me by going on the internet and saying my real name is a nazi. hahahaha. no Im not even worried. she doesnt want anything to do with me. and she doesnt CARE than Im A Natzee.  she might even be a little racist herself. i could have molded her hahahahaha. into perfect aryan waifu who had only been with 1 or 2 guys before me hahaha.

who cares, its over. it dont matter. had some nyquil hehe. average dose now is 75% of the 30 ml dose.

june 12

wow, mudslim kills 50 people in mass shooting at gay bar in orlando florida. 50 people?!?!?! just a few hours ago they were saying 20. how does it go from 20 to 50?  horry sheet. this might be a great thing and make gays hate mudslims hahahaha just as mudslims hate gays. OR there could behuge gun grab laws in florida and elsewhere, which would be bad.

” Associates Degree is about the highest level of education the hiring manager would like to consider ” hahahahahahahahahahahah thats a new one, havent seen that in a job posting yet, till now. for a job that also calls itself “entry level” ie exactly what i am looking for.

i dont understand this. do they think the bachelors degree people are a “flight risk” because theyre gonna find a better job right away? well one look at my resume will tell them I have been underemployed consistently, if not unemployed hahahaha, for the past 11 years hahahahahahaha. no flight risk here!

just for that, i will DEFINITELY apply to this one.

ok sunday. got 16 job tabs.

see, on sundays, i don’t really want to apply for any or many jobs, but i do want to look thru indeed and find the New Job Leads.

so i found 16 and then BOOKMARKED ALL TABS and saved them in a NEW FOLDER of bookmarks with the date.

i think I should use this as a way to make a “to do list” of current jobs. just find a ton of jobs, add them to that folder, and then delete the shit from the folder when I apply.

heh i increased my monthly donation to fatherland and also wrote them a message:

quote

Dear Fatherland,

Sorry for the ridiculously small and insulting d’nation. I hope to increase it as I eventually improve my situation.

I wouldn’t mind seeing more in-depth, roundtable discussion on: what is a set-in-stone dealbreaker, vs what can/should we compromise on, when it comes to selecting/vetting a wife, and evaluating her character and her past.

For example, how many N is too many? (N = Number of “partners”.) 3? 5? 10? I want to say 3-5, but I might have to be more flexible on this.

How many nonwhite N’s are too many? I really want to say 1 is too many. But say you know an outlier, a woman who’s only been with 2 guys total, but one was black.

Also, abortion. How many abortions is too many? I want to say 1 is too many, kind of like race-mixing. I am staunchly pro-life (Catholic!) and abortion horrifies and disgusts me. It’s also insidious how it is framed as a religious issue, rather than a simple issue of life and death. You don’t have to be religious in order to find abortion abhorrent!

Anyway, I think modern women are so brainwashed, they don’t even understand how their own bodies work, and they truly don’t understand the moral implications of abortion, and truly think of it as removing a clump of cells, and not murdering a human life.

For example, say the woman has had one abortion, but eventually came to understand the sin she’s committed, and repents for it, and vows never to do it again, and has arrived at a deeper, more appropriate respect of human life. In this case, I would be willing to compromise on the Zero Abortions rule, compared to a woman who got multiple abortions and just doesn’t care.

And finally: single mothers. How do we know if she’s learned from her mistakes, or not? Some men have found single mothers who turned out to be great, loyal wives, and they’ve shared their stories on the forum….but I don’t think this is the average single mother…is it?

Basically, I view sex as the Life Creation Process, and I think many women (and men) lose sight of this. They don’t have appropriate respect for life or the process that creates it!!

OK that’s enough ranting! I am just speaking as a prospective husband and father who has had to make some difficult decisions and compromises with women. How much is too much? Where should we draw the line?

Have any of you guys had to make a very tough decision about a woman’s morality and suitability, (bonus points if you were painfully dumped at the end of it, hahaha)?

Ever been dumped by a decent woman, and how was that worse than being dumped by a not-so-decent woman?

Also do you have any ideas about communication between the spouses? I am a huge fan of communication in general. Easy to say, but sometimes very hard to do. What if someone is “Stonewalling” you or giving you the “silent treatment”? And what starts off as a “cooling off period” turns into “avoiding dealing with a problem indefinitely?” I had a situation like that, and when I made a move to communicate about it and try to fix it, the woman just walked away, and I was upset she couldn’t even make an effort, couldn’t communicate.

Anyone have experience dealing with someone who just didn’t want to make an effort? You can lead the horse to water but they absolutely refuse to drink? I am willing to lead….but they have to be willing to follow too. Also, it’s good when they are willing to work with you when the going gets tough, rather than just walk away. IMHO, this is what loyalty and commitment are all about!

If you can see my real name from Paypal, please don’t dox me, hahahaha. I am blabla on the forums in case you were wondering, but please don’t mention me at all, hahaha. I prefer being very low-key. But feel free to talk about those broader wife-selecting questions on the show. No need to respond to this message either.

I have to wonder how many Fatherland listeners are aspirational, prospective husbands/fathers. I would wager a guess of at least 30%. We realize that family and children are the best way to live out the meaning of The 14 Words, and I think that’s why we like your show so much.

It is my #1 show on TRS, that’s for sure. I have listened to every episode, and I hope to listen to many, many more!!!!

end quote

the original message was longer and contained more personal information hahahaha basically regarding me and that woman. how you could really be on the fence about her because she has at least two very big strikes against her………..but still the pros probably outweigh the cons.

i guess deep down I probably wanted to have a private discussion with the men of the fatherland about That Woman and for them to reassure me…..or not. would they say well she’s just a filthy mudshark, no WAY she’s only been with 2 guys, you dodged a bullet son…..and then I’d say but REALLY. she REALLY WAS only N=2. she’s REALLY an OUTLIER here.

that, or theyd say I fooked up by being too unmasculine. what you’re HOW old? damn son you aren’t gonna have many more chances like this! better start aiming for the 30+ single mothers!

i mean its a complicated story. lot of moving parts. lots of ins and outs. lot of calculations that can be made.

i edited out a lot of the personal details. It took a lot of guts just to send them that shorter message!

because this is a complicated situation. most women who have been with black guys have been with LOTS of black guys. not just 1 out of 2 total. that alone puts her in the top 1% of mudsharks. far outlier end. she might even view it as a mistake, then LEARN from that mistake. which itself is not typical mudshark behavior. which is more like, once you go black, you dont go back hahahaha.

so i screwed up. so it was all my fault, these fine men will say. yeah well i already KNOW to be more masculine and direct in the future. plus i dont think it really was ALL my fault.

basically, even if it were ALL my fault, it wouldn’t change ANYTHING. not even the lessons learned. it would just make me feel WORSE hahahaha.

but my point is, some women you have to go into painstaking detail. normally being with a black guy is enough to automatically disqualify a woman, becuase where theres smoke, theres fire. except when there isn’t, and the woman has enough good qualities to outweigh that. and she did.

yeah well DECENT women dont DUMP men they way SHE did!

hehehe the only way i could fully MANSPLAIN MYSELF is to go on the show, and I dont want to do that. Well…in an ideal world, where I was a confident normie, I would. But at this point in muh life, I wouldn’t want to put myself out there, on that show. I would be much more willing to do a NEETCAST however. because im closer to a NEET loser than to a 1488 husbando and fathero. dadfu. dadpai. hahaha. FATHERO hahaha fatherpai fatherfu i dunno. fat hero.

you think theyre gonna grab guns in florida!!! there are some proud white gun toting rednexxxx in florida!

how many mudslims are in florida? Also this guy was born in the us! thats what I’m saying! its YOUNGER mudslims, age 20 to 30 as of 2016, that get into this! no one over the age of 40! they didn’t HAVE radical mudslims 20 years ago, they way they do now! well, they take over countries, they take over iran, pakistan, afghanistan, iraq, etc. but now its really moving into the WEST in a way it hasnt done before.

hmmmmm not sure if that message i wrote actually got sent along with my paltry dnation hahaha. oh well I can always email or message them if i really want.

technically had a dream with her in it last night. she was not in it for very long. tons of friends i have had in my life appeared. i saw her for 2 seconds and she was nice enough to me, but she was also walking away, seemed in a hurry to get away from me. kinda like the last time I ever talked to her. she was cold and distant to me the whole time and I walked her to her car and she acted like she could not wait to be rid of me. and that was it. that was the last time i talked to her in real life.  hahahaha. sad story bro. in the dream she was a little nicer but still in a hurry to walk away from me.

and THAT is how she wants to be remembered? she couldnt walk away in a LITTLE bit better way than that? couldnt even say SORRY, i KNOW this HURTS, but i can’t take it any more and have to walk away? just say something. jeez.

basically I got a bunch of tabs from looking at the days listings in indeed.  I made this my main focus for like an hour and came up with a bunch of tabs. I was gonna find all the jobs for the day and THEN work on applying to them. I “bookmark all” tabs into the indicated folder. Now I can come back to each posting later. this folder of bookmarks becomes my new to-do list which I can of course replenish when I look at the new postings every 24 hours. throw some more bookmarks in here. and then apply for as many as possible.

I then name a note in an ongoing notes file, like a journal, of the date, the 4 or 5 jobs i applied to that day, and any ideas or notes, like, i applied with The Packet this time, etc.

and then 90% of the time you get a confirmation email. move that to an “applied jobs” folder so you can get a rough estimate of how many jobs youve applied for.

I guess you can save the bookmarks too, or delete them. right now I like deleting them.

and then hopefully you start getting another round of interviews again.

but tonnes of MJ would be good for this whole stupid process. that is only overtaken in stupidity and gayness by actually working itself hahahaha.

yeah just focus dead set for 20 to 30 minutes at looking at a looooonnnggg list of 1000 jobs and determining the jobs you should apply to. when you find one just keep going, you will apply to it later, after you get done with this scanning the list task.

and once you have a list of jobs, just apply to them in a blind rage until you dont even have to think about any more and you are just moving FAST like a MACHINE. you should be able to get thru 5 pretty fast even if they are long and stupid. you will have muscle memory at which files you need to copy and paste to and from.

and some applications will be a lot quicker than others.

and as you do multiple applications with one company, it will usually save the shit you did the first time.

I also recommend making monthly donations to people or causes you support. makes  you feel like you are a vital part of it ahahahahhaa.

like i give a dollar a week to CHURCH, I should be able to give a dollar a week to people I actually LIKE, like millennial woes, or trs, or fatherland, or daily stormer. so give them each .25 a week hahahaha. im using their stuff anyway. enjoying their content and work. why NOT give them a donation.

once I adopted this mindset, I found myself becoming more generous. jsut donating to shit that I USE but dont really PAY FOR. like give a “tip” to archive.org becuase I use them sometimes and they provide a useful service. give a tiny “tip” to “the document foundation” for providing the libreoffice software that I and many others use. Im not gonna give them a LOT of money, but just a LITTLE money. I gave archive and libre 50 cents apiece for example.

and I am onyl giving 50 cents per MONTH to MW and fatherland.  prob try to do the same for TRS. giving .10 euros a week to daily stormer. its just a bunch of TINY donations which I want to do on an ongoing basis. makes me feel like a real STAKEHOLDER in the important work of important people. this is how i make a difference in the world. by making tiny donations to people who ARE making a difference in the world.

i mean Im grateful that I am PRIVILEGED enough to donate. so I SHOULD donate, eh? its kind of like tithing. Shit I give tiny donations to CHURCH anyway! a dollar a week! 50 bucks a year! why can’t I match that with 50 bucks a year to some causes I really care about? ie racist nationalists hahahahaha. so I am gonna do that.

When I actually MADE money I would give 5 dollars a week to church. And ideally I will start MAKING money and be able to give more to nationalists. people that are serious about the 14 words. people who are creating jobs for muricans hahahaha.

when TRS or daily stormer becomes a big media company in god emperor trumps new amerika, they will see I supported them, and then reward me with an entry level job making 14.88 an hour hahahahaha.

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE TO BE AGAINST MURDER

[but i do officially recommend being religious and ESPECIALLY being ultra conservative!!!!!!]

june 13

merry crimbo hahahahahaha

oh wow here’s a new one, they demand THREE letters of recommendation before you can even SUBMIT your application. well, with a salary in the mid to high 30s, they SHOULD hahahaha.

i pulled up something that was given to me in my Layoff packet over two years ago, that wasn’t really a recommendation, more like saying he wasnt terminated for cause, there was a restructuring and he was laid off to cut costs, we hope you give him every consideration hahaha.

got ELEVEN job apps done by 3 pm. WOW. JUST WOW.

rather than delete the bookmarks, i move the bookmarks to a new subfolder called, very sensibly, “completed applications” hahahaha. i can always delete that in the future.

did not have a dream about HER last night, although I did dream about naked women and it was pretty much pornographic. even though I haven’t looked at pr0n in 7 months. I chalk it up to just generally being Horney and Thirsty and not having touched a woman in 10 years hahahaha.

of course after i woke up I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I could have had luving secs with That Woman, and had her sit on my face, and just grab her as I buried myself balls deep into her cvnt with her big fat thighs wrapped around me and her big fat ass sitting on me etc etc oh god i should never be thinking about that.

BUT she wasnt actually in the dream thank god.

then looked for jobs, got thru indeed for the day, had a longass list of way more than 11 jobs, and started blasting through them, and got through 11. good enough. way better than 4 or 5.

doing some laundry for the first time in like 2 or 3 weeks hahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

mutrk

I generally have very strong opinions about abortion, as indicated in the study. Even though I am politically conservative and somewhat religious, I think being anti-abortion is neither inherently conservative nor inherently religious. Therefore, I like to encourage secular and/or leftist anti-abortion groups….of which there do not seem to be many, unfortunately. My view is that you don’t need to be conservative or religious to consider abortion immoral, and I am not happy about pro-choice groups have tried to frame it as a strictly religious issue…..when it really isn’t. For example, atheists can be opposed to violence and aggression, and no one says things like assault and murder are strictly religious issues.

Personally, I think abortion represents a huge misunderstanding and disrespect for human life, and that is is comparable to slavery in terms of immoral things that are legalized and accepted by Western society. I think the way abortion is “sold” to young people does not prepare them in the least for thinking about the deep moral questions of human life and death, and some women only come to a deeper understanding many years later, and experience great guilt and regret over doing something they didn’t fully understand at the time.

I also challenge the idea that men are not allowed to have opinions about abortion because men cannot get pregnant.

I encourage you to look at Secular/Non-religious pro-life groups such as
http://www.secularprolife.org
to begin to introduce a perspective that you can have completely non-religious reasons for being against abortion.

I am committed to helping researchers produce research of the best quality and I am happy to give very detailed feedback on any studies. Please contact me through mTurk if you are interested in having a very high-engagement and detail-oriented research participant.

end mturk comment. hahaha it was a morality study saying how moral is it to abort a baby at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, etc, then showed a picture of each month. I put “100% extremely immoral” for everything but 1 month, where I put 94% hahahahaha because at that point, it looked like literally a clump of cells. in hindsight, I should have put 100%.

but i sure gave those baby killing bitches with their phd’s a piece of my mind hahahahahahahaha

it just goes to show you how terrible these college kids are, when they wont even listen to ATHEIST antiabortionists. they just knee jerk with WOW. JUST WOW. HOW CAN ANYONE BE AGAINST ABORTION. ITS 2016.

because they think you have to be a Narrow Minded Religious Evangelical Conservative to be against MURDER.

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE TO BE AGAINST MURDER.

It’s ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING how the LEFT has twisted the issue like that. that you can’t even see murder as murder without being a conservative religious idiot.

so I always liked the guitar playing of sammy duet but I stopped listening to his band goatwh0re because i just find the singing to be a turnoff. I wish sammy just did the singing instead of their main singer, who is a nice good guy, but his style is……not my preference.

so it is with some curiosity that I look at this “ritual killer” project which features a different singer, and which is supposedly more raw that gw. and also features the original drummer of gw. I saw GW live a couple times when they were just starting out, and they were great, classic, top 5 shows. like during the time of their first 2 albums. i think i only ever saw them when they had the first drummer. after that I just couldn’t listen to their albums anymore hahaha.

which is a way of saying, i hope this ritual killer album turns out to be ok.

yeah they’re all degenerates hahahaha. the singer has tattoos on his FACE and i think they actually do satan worship. I used to think sammy was the coolest guy ever, and I even took a picture with him when I saw GW once hahahahaha.  but……he’s probably a degenerate too. i hope if he has any children he is a good father to them. also i hope he is less degenerate that I suspect he is. because he is a white man and all whites are capable of being non degen. i hope he does not do too many drugs.  hope this album is good (“exterminance.”) it is SHORT, so that’s usually good. hope the guitars are heavy and there are lots of blast beats and that sammy has more than 10% guest vocals hahaha.

but i can appreciate some good hateful, fast, raw black metal. I wish goathwore was rawer and more hateful hahahaha and had a different singer. i also don’t like his lyrical style, his lyrics make no sense and use the word “this” wayyyyy too much, and so then he’s always SAYING “this” in his annoying voice hahahaha. when I was 19 years old, I used to LIKE him. i did quite a 180. he’s still a decent guy I guess…..but just retire from singing and have a damn FAMILY , white man hahahaha.

well here’s that album i just mentioned. I just listened to it, the whole thing in one sitting. it was not bad. not bad at all. vicious and face ripping. tons of blast beats. I would have liked a little louder cymbal on the drums but still not bad. very sharp and ripping guitar sound. not enough screaming from sammy but the main singer is not bad. i can recommend it based on the guitars and drums alone. brings me back to 2000 when goatwhore was fresh and scary and evil. this RK sounds pretty evil and hellish. its kinda raw I guess. but for a fan of sammy who wants to enjoy gotahwore but cant, this RK is pretty good.

some noisy solos in there too. blasts in every song. a couple very rocking riffs sprinkled throughout. not bad at all. hateful and evil and a bit degenerate but also fun. but not TOO much fun. not a bunch of smiling happy phaggots. and I can actually tolerate the vokills.  3.6/5 bretty good

this is not bad at all and would be a great thing to listen to while exercising briskly. like Jogging, which I have not done in a while.

i was listening to the nationalist review, which is done by a guy on trs, well, at least 3 or 4 guys on trs,

the guy who leads it is no1 who I first heard on the fatherland, well this is his main show, and he’s really good. really likable marine officer, can’t believe he puts himself out there like that. his cohost natt is a danish guy who is really funny, just a huge arrogant asshole hahaha. and here they have andrew anglin on as a guest.

oh god bless these men. I don’t want to be on an Alt Right Podcast just yet, but I wouldn’t mind meeting and talking with some of these guys.

My own skills would be best used on a Neetcast however.

maybe doing a partnership with Millennial Woes. He is most like me personality wise in that he is prone to great despair, doubt, and neetism.

oh good god, no1 and natt do an episode with EVALION

subscribe to this guy already hahaha.

i dont need to dnate to him because he makes 148800 dollars a year as a marine officer hahaha.  plus they havent put the dnation hat out yet.  but i did find his email address on paypal hahaha.

june 14

2 jobs down, 8 more to go hahaha. also go see SHRINK today, yaaasssssssss!!!

well at least i appear to be losing weight again. probably because i am losing muscle hahaha.

8 down, 2 to go. damn. gotta go to shirnk very soon. took shower today, thats good hahaha. wanna not look and smell like a slob for the shrink haha. also when i was an employed bigboy, i did take a shower before every shift and come in nice and clean.

went to shrink, that was ok. talked about job search and shit, a little bit about that woman. i said it sucks, i learned lessons, but it jsut wasnt worth it. but then shrink said well arent I a stronger better person at the end of it all? technically yes, i am a better person in the end. so that IS KINDA worth it.

also the fact that I couldn’t make the same mistake again if i tried. there is no way this will ever happen again. it just CANT. Im not even worried about it. i have been changed permanently so that this will never happen again. in terms of being more assertive abotu communicating and stuff.

so i have become more mature and stronger and better able to DEAL with bullshit like this.

doesnt mean it wasnt ridic painful or stupid! because it was!

ok i will go back and listen to the old goatwhore albums. i really liked their first two albums. maybe i can still listen to them.  i mean there was some really good songs there, and maybe the vocals dont sound as bad as I fear.

anyway. yes i HAVE been permanently changed by this horrible experience. but it is possible that I have been permanently changed for the better……once we get to the end of it all. i am not quite there but i def am getting there. i still think of her obviously. pretty much every day. but it’s still a lot better than it was. but yeah i really need the distance and the no contact. i couldn’t do it with no contact. it takes well over a year just for her memory to even start to fade a LITTLE.

its like craving for heroin a YEAR after you last touched it. shit.

you stop craving for heroin like two WEEKS after. but HER, THAT WOMAN, I still crave for her a YEAR later. well, 11 months later hahahaha.  such that I cant even substitute anyone else. i mean, if i were trying to get off heroin, you can bet id be taking a LOT of MJ hahahaha. MJ helps you quit anything hahahaha.

MJ would probably help me quit this too heh.

but i just think about her and how good it USED to be and how much I luved her and how the hell am I gonna find that with another woman?

this IS a special thing that should not be treated like a casual cok carousel! you CANT get these feelings easily!

so i guess i should not expect to.

listened to that goatwh0re album, the first one, eclipse of ages into black (2000) and it def has staying power, it was great fun, and i didnt hate the singer so much. he still said this and these too much, but on some parts he is quite enjoyable. the lyrics are a frustrating mix of honestly quite good, and then filler tryhard this these fluff. for me the mainstays are sammy’s guitar and the drummer. they play very well together. and i like the old drummer better than the new drummer….who is not bad at all. indeed, probably sammy shifted his style as gw got older. some say they became more straightforward, and that they were “darker” and “more atmospheric” in the beginning. this might be true.

its not a huge secret that sammy is pretty serious about his devil worship, but i don’t know the details. i kinda would like to. like he literally does black magic and probably cuts himself. but he seems like an otherwise normal guy. not all suicidal and autistic and such. well, maybe he is bipolar. all these fookin musicians are bipolar. i heard he used to do Coke. hopefully he doesnt do too much of that. well, its better than meth hahahaha.

so sammy why not try orthodox christian. they are darker and more solemn and shit. youre gonna worship SATAN? I thought this was cool when I was 16-23. not when I was 45 or however old he is. you can be dark and “evil” and essentially worship GOD hahahaha. If he has a wife and children I hope he is good to them. Doesn’t neglect them so he can get drunk and do drugs and worship satan. but what I like about his style is that he writes tons of very catchy, very effective riffs. he is a riff machine. a riff factory. a true riffmaster in every sense of the word. not like nile, dumping tons of incoherent riffs. sammy dumps slightly less riffs and they are all a lot catchier. but still heavy, hyper, and fast.

OMEGA INCEL TRIGGERED BY YOUNG QTZ

may 27

wanted to quickly say that night before last i had a dream with THAT WOMAN. it sounds worse than it actually was.

also yes I got alot out of her, but I didn’t ASK a lot of her, if that makes sense. I didn’t EXPECT her to luv me back. I only expected her to show me some kindness and effort and talk to me and hang out with me. She didnt have to make a huge effort for me to get energy and a “FIX” from her. She just had to talk to me and be generally nice to me and sometimes hang out with me.

In other words I was not Leaning on her like a crutch and making unreasonable demands from her to halp me with muh derpression. like some people are simply intolerable to their boifrans and their excuse is they have derpression. no i dont do that at all to other people. I see it as my problem to deal with. my cross to bear. i dont push that burden on anyone else. partly because i dont think anybody would understand. partly because thats like Emotional Blackmail. I’m thinking of women who are Bitches to their Doting Husbands. Yeah well I wasn’t bitchy in that way to her, other than begging her to hang out with me. and she wasn’t doting to me at all. she wouldnt even hang out with me.

but yeah she wasn’t really The Bad Guy either, I can understand why she was a coward. I am just concerned about her viewing me as the bad guy. I was awkward and stupid but I wasnt the bad guy.

i wasnt the bad guy, she wasnt the bad guy, but i think she was More At Fault for the shitty situation hahahahaha.

yesterday went for walk in afternoon and mind was RACING. much like it was when i was at previous job. racing and worrying about the job. is this going to be a feature of EVERY job? it wasnt on my previous previous job. i NEVER WORRIED about that job. i could go in, come out, and never think about it. I could do other things in Life, like hang out with friends, even take some College Classes.  no way could I do that with the job I would go to next. which I never would have got if I hadn’t become Close Friends with HER hahahaha. in other words I wish I never met her. she was a Net Loss on my life hahaha. she brought a lot of good at the time……but even MORE bad in the end.

i might be mre willing to do Split Shifts if some of them didnt start at 3 am. and if the place were a little bit closer.

but now i sound like a weak whiner and n199er who is afraid of work! workophobia! real jobs SUCK! get used to it or be a loser the rest of your life!

well not ALL the shifts would be split….would they? these managers seemed OK. but it was hard to say.

elvis worked as a machine operator, truck driver, and was studying to become an electrician. all before the age of 20. but music was his first passion hahahaha.  i am watching stupid tv shows about elvis. i am not a huge elvis fan, but I find the stories of peoples lives interesting. plus he was a white redneck. my kind of person. white redneck playing “negermusik” and probably fooking black bitches hahahahaha. and becoming a bloated pill popping degenerate hahaha.

if the music has drums, its degenerate negermusik! hahahahahaha

but i dont think he was a huge partier when he was young. and his degeneracy is minor compared to average celebrities.

well he cheated on his wife a lot and apparently was into Pills from a fairly young age. Speed, Barbiturates, Quaaludes, Painkillers, Tranquilizers, Benzos.

but he was very generous to his family and friends. buying them houses and cars.

anyway the dream about that woman. I was with her and I was getting angry, yelling at her, HEY STOP. LISTEN TO ME. DONT WALK AWAY. GIVE ME 2 MINUTES. WE NEED TO TALK NOW. I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU, AND YOU NEED TO LISTEN. YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT THIS. IT INVOLVES YOU. ITS VERY RELEVANT.

so I was getting mad at her, I was shouting this at her as she was walking away. HEY. DONT LEAVE. LISTEN TO ME! Then she rolled her eyes and stayed, although it was clear she was mad at me and thought I was the bad guy. that I was unreasonable.

Also another part where she was with a female friend of hers (fictional person) and I started raging misogynistically against the other woman, saying you slut, you whore, how many guys you fooked, how many abortions you had, and looked like a raging misogynist in front of my female friend.

another scene where me and that woman were listening to an anti-abortion speaker, who was raging about the horrific evil and cruelty of abortion, of chopping up the innocent infant in the womb, and that woman was getting emotional and upset, and I touched her hand and said there there sweetie, itll be ok, i am here to comfort you.

so that was about it. not sure if the dream is teaching me anything. except that I am a woman hater and that I was the bad guy for wanting to talk to her hahahaha. great lesson. well how do i stop being a woman hater? just stop hating women.  hehe. i dont even deal with any women. I just have contempt for women in general. but individually, I can appreciate individual women once I get to sort of know them even a little bit, like work with them or see them as an actual person.

so uhhhhh if i get a job with women or make women friends I will stop hating women so much? probably.

i didnt hate the women i used to work with. even if they were cheating whores. i got along with mostly everyone. certainly i had no interest in becoming Friends with them if they were cheating whores. but I automatically respected anyone who worked at my job, just for being in the same hell as I was and coming back day after day and sucking it up.

ayo mcdonalds workers. want 15 dollars an hour? get a job as a PSE at the post office. if I have a chance, anybody has a chance. you might not even need high school.  i mean you dont need high school or college anyway, just these f4ggots demand it.

the pse job pays 15-16 an hour.

may 27 1:35 pm: made muh first donation to MILLENNIAL WOES. 5 fookin dollas. this is nothing. I should have done this YEARS ago. I should be a regular supporter and giving him money every month. But I had to finally donate SOMETHING to this guy who has enriched my life and the lives of so many. Need to get some skin in the game. Good shit like him SHOULDN’T BE free.  I SHOULD be donating to him.

Note to Millennial Woes
Keep up the great, important work my lad !!!!!! I would donate more but muh neetism. I should have donated a long time ago but lazy. Will donate more when I resolve my own issues, haha. Don’t stress yourself out! If you want to do a website, IMHO a very important part would be a FORUM where people could qualitypost and especially arrange real life meatspace meetups, somewhat like TRS forum. I bet people in the UK and beyond would be willing to arrange transportation for you to distant locales. Also I would totally buy T-shirts, although I know a bathrobe would be more appropriate. Skype and hangouts are great, but I think real-life meetups are even better. Also I would love for you to find a nice woman and have some mini-Woeses someday!!!!!! If this d’nation features my real name, please don’t go doxing me all over the internet, hahahaha. Hopefully I will be able to donate more soon. You are doing GOD’S WORK!!

2016-05-27_13h38_00

hahahahahah PAT MUH SELF ON THE BACK FOR BEING SO SELFLESS AND ALTRUISTIC hahaha

DO A VERY SMALL GOOD DEED AND THEN TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT IT.

OHHHHH IM SO GOOOD AND KIND AND MORAL.

BEATING MUH CHEST AND SAYING I AM SO GENEROUS FOR GIVING 5 DOLLARS TO THE NEET PHILOSOPHER.

hahahaha.

I havent even watched a MW video in months. I don’t think he is 1488 enough hahahaha. But I feel an emotional connection with him. he is a kindred spirit. who knows. maybe he is 1488 enough. He definitely cares about the white race I think. THat’s good enough for me. A white who cares about other whites. Good enough to get 5 dollars out of me. Not even enough to buy 1 pack of cigarettes hahahaha. I should have told him to do roll your own cigarettes, that could maximize donation money hahaha.  i am entitled to give him advice and suggestions because now I’m a SUPPORTING MEMBER with my GENEROUS dnation hahaha.

oh shit I should have also told him to look at muh blog hahahaha.

technically I donated more to TRS hahaha. I donated like 6.75 to them. oy vey. well I will make another 5 dollar donation to MW in the next…….7 months hahahaha.

well i can say I am not nearly as PLAGUED with CONSTANT and STRONG thoughts like I NEED to CONTACT her.  I still feel great pain, but remember, a LOT of that pain is coming from my job/life situation too. and at least I have NOT felt the urge to contact her. it took 9.5 months of No Contact but I got there. that is prob my biggest gain. I am signif less tempted to contact her.

I wish she would contact ME tho!

because I still want her. will take at least another 9 months to get over THAT i think.

took .75 of a nyquil dose yseterday and spent 12 hours in bed hahahaha.

heh. whenever I see an attractive young woman, espec under the age of 20, when they are super young and at Peak Hawtness, my first thought is, that fookin little wh0re, i wonder how many cox shes fooked, the little slut, so promiscuous. this is not a good thing to think about white gurls.

shit I mean there are enough arab and albanian gurls that I can get out all my women hate on them. its ok for them to be sluts. well. assuming they get abortions. which they probably wont. not that abortion still isnt barbaric.

i dunno. i dont like being a woman hater, but I can’t shut off the instinctual disgust towards women. like you dirty sluts. you have such a powerful important gift from GOD and then you defile yourselves and show no appreciation for human life.

im against abortion because its harmful.

im against promiscuity because its HARMFUL. at the very least it severely hurts the feeeeelings of the incel crybaby beta bitchboi, when you lose interest in him and replace him with another chad on the carousel. its HURTFUL, it makes him feel really small and expendable. no one deserves to feel like that.

that nazi gurl evalion was shut down from youtube. she is really qt and she knows it and she loved the attention, and I don’t like gurls like this, and hitler cupcakes are just ridiculous, but it’s possible she made some very persuasive and powerful vidyas. I didnt watch any bc qt young gurls are too triggering for me. thats how much I hate women. when I see a qt young woman saying good nationalist pro-white things, I automatically think the worst. not OH GOOD! another woke ass white person. like when I see muh boys at TRS or such. I see a young woman and automatically get TRIGGERED.

but yeah it is true that women in This Particular Movement are a little weird. not necess an infiltrator, but just bandwagon jumpers and attention seekers.

but they are saying good things! if you blocked out her pretty body and face and just listened to her words, you would probably agree, yes right on. preach.

but thats just how TRIGGERED i get by qt young women. I see her and think DAMN I have never been with a woman that attractive. I haven’t Cuddled with a Young Woman in 11 years hahahaha.  I am a total INCEL hahaha.

maybe thats why i hate pretty young women. they remind me it has been 11 years since i even touched a woman. and she was a damn k1ke hahahah and a slut. I don’t hate her though. I just wish it were a nice white gurl, or that there had ever been a nice white gurl in the 11 years since, and that recently i fell in luv with a nice white gurl who I was closer to than any other woman, and it ended in the worst way than it had with any woman ever. hahaha. cool story bro.

ok going to go walk outside and listen to nile and 1488 dadcast hahaha.

neets and incels hahahaha.

yeah when you have no female friends you get really insecure about women, like I am so weird and women are so weird too.

well i know a couple women who are generally nice to me. they dont think im too weird. i see them once a week at my social thing. except we are not close though. they are both practically married and good for them since i am not particularly attracted to either one. i know i said the same thing about That Woman but…..yeah. these women are just not even CONCEIVABLY attractive to me, even if I WERENT hung up on somebody. When I first me That Woman, I said, yeah she’s fairly cute, I SHOULD BE more attracted to her, but I am too hung up on this other gurl. In no way am I close to saying I SHOULD BE more attracted to these other women I am acquainted with.  i just cant say that. they are way less attractive than her.

maybe my problem is I only go after ATTRACTIVE women. thats kind of LOOKIST isnt it?

i mean I am not super attractive!

but I like girls that are “ugly pretty” or kind of weird looking. This was easier to understand when I was younger. Now that I am old, young IS pretty, with no bullshit artificial qualifiers like “ugly pretty.”

anyway i am less mad at other women who dumped me because….we didnt really HAVE anything there. they barely knew me and I barely knew them. I was foolish and naive to get feelings so FAST, even if they were sluts for giving it up so fast.

this was different. when you know someone for 2.7 years, how can you just replace them, delete them so easily? you CANT. its a lot easier when you have only “known” the person for 3 months.

so yeah. thats muh beef. thats why im so butthurt. beause you just dont do this with someone youve really KNOWN for a LONG TIME.

love and friendship. what is this, whit stillman bringing back chloe sevingny and kate beckinsale who he did “the last days of disco” with. looks like it. A few years ago I would have gone to the movie theatre to see this. i mean I still should. chloe still looks good and whit is a good filmmaker. i was just more into him a few years ago. there is very few things I will go to a movie theatre for. Although I SHOULD go to the Budget Theatre. just get blazed and go there. I used to go all the time. Not getting blazed  however (though I should have.)

If Lars von Trier makes a nondegenerate movie I will go to the art theatre to see that. I saw Antichrist and Melancholia in the theatre but I did not go see nymphomaniac, I was starting to get really anti-degenerate by that time, and didn’t see why LVT had to go so far. well because thats what he DOES. he has a degen streak a MILE wide. kinda like gaspar noe.  i mean a nondegen filmmaker is hard to find, but those guys are just extreme.

i still think of myself as a Movie Buff even though I haven’t even WATCHED a movie in a year, and haven’t gone to the movie theatre in like two or three years. but around 2010, 2011, I was going to the movie theatre 2 times a WEEK. just see shitty movies just to DO something. it was something to DO.

well I guess now I am more diligent about Exercising, and that is BETTER than watching some degen shitty MOVIE.

heh. 461 calories under muh goal and I am STARVING. Had a big dinner, got right up to muh calorie goal, went for nice walk, burned 407 calories, now I am 461 and STARVING. about to go to bed. I guess it’s good to go to bed hungry. hahahaha.

reading all the negative reviews on glassdoor about post office jobs hahahaha. definitely more negative than positive hahaha. stories of people who worked 360 days straight hahahaha.  going months without a day off, being constantly Harrassed by managers for not working efficiently enough….even though you really cant work faster.

well i have some people in my family who work at the PO and they are very nice people. one I think is career and the other is probably PSE or casual. whats the difference?

heh. maybe I shouldnt have gone so whole hog with the post office. the reviews are generally negative. really negative. for pse’s. which is what I would be doing. either a pse cca or a pse mpc. mail processing clerk.

 

THE VAGOO BUS

may 5 so what do you do when a b1tch is breaking your heart and you dont want to do anything but sm0ke wd on the rare times you can get out of bed? well then do just that.  do the only thing you can do. dont fight it, feeeeeel it haha. also in a unique situation right now where temp off from work….but will go back in several weeks. so like a long vacation. would ideally look for a less stressful job but no energy for that. no energy for antyhign, just very upset about wimmin. always a tough time when you are reaching the end . and then a tuff time after that too.

then it is back to the worst job in the world, with the wimmin who rejected u hahahaha. when did u last have energy? 10 years ago when u were young and had the interest of a young qt gurl? well yes certainly. but that did not last long and then u went bad to sad sack loser right after that, and never fully came back, let alone improved!!!!!! anyway have a super tuff job which is amaze ballz can even handle without quitting. keep saying gonna quit but too lazy to get something better. plus hear there are even WORSE jobs out there. that is hard to imagine.

well, just keep repeating to yourself “at least u HAVE a job” and that’s all u can do. that and smke tonnes of wd. take a shower erry day. try to get some walking in. smk tonnes of wd did mention that yet. go no contact every on ALL b1tches who rejected u. crawl around on your hands and knees begging GOD for mercy. get a valium or benzo rx and hoard them for when you really need them. take benzos every OTHER day ON the job so the job doesnt kill you as bad when you are there. if called out on it, and prob wont, say you haven’t been sleeping well because your kid. hahahaha.

heh  am GLAD and GRATEFUL that women have done nothing but reject u, because now you can not care what b1tches THINK about u, and go around saying YEP IMMA RACIST, AND I DONT CARE IF YOU WONT GIVE ME THE DIRTY VAG BUS PASS BECAUSE OF THAT!!!! cant wont pay the too high bus fare for the filthy dirty ass vag bus that erryone else has ridden and is current riding like a bus, wider than a bus, more black thugs up in there than a bus hahaha. there was some sort of reddit thing haha http://pastebin.com/RCMtc3Eg

refuse to link to that f4gg0t futrelles site, but futrelle/manboobz/we killed the mammoth commented on a reddit mgtow vag bus thing. have pasted both articles and comments in this one paste. the orig reddit thing is halfway thru it.

http://np.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/33sc9n/dont_be_deceived_the_only_thing_a_woman_has_to/ fine  will link to reddit but NOT to that other guy, because he WOULD come back here and be a f4ggoo about me hating wimmin. he has been doing that for years and would really rather have him not harrassing. how much moeny does he make for this. certainly he gets DONATIONS from wealthy feminists. of ocurse he has a donate button on his blog. you can dnate to him if u want.

heh you can donate to if you want at bitcoin address REDACTED  will even send u a thank u message!

anyway when you are as big of a white knight as that f4ggot, you get even less pvssy than, or than the avg KV. so yeah if had gone out with any of those grills might have been slower to become the racist am proud to be now, out of fear of being dumped for having racist, nonmarxist, nonleftist beliefs.

was nietzsche REALLY a coprophagist???!?!?!?!?!?!!? never heard that till today. rumors that he ate poop after he went crazy, which is not an unusual thing to do when you are batsh1t cray like he was in the last 10 years. so think it was much more mental insanity than disgusting degeneracy. although nietzsche was a virgin till like age 35 until he finally got with a hooker and then fell in love with her and prob got the syphilis which drove him insane. all from banging one hooker and that was his only experience with a wimmin. that sucks. well at least he was real smart and got respected in his life and even more afterwards for his smarts. he became like chair of the philosophy dept at like univ of…munich, leipzig or sommat at a very young age. course back then being chair of the dept didnt really get you 18 year old 4ss because 18 year old gurls didn’t go to college like they do now. they would just get married to well established gentlemen like nietzsche and start having babbys. so why didn’t nietzsche get one of those 18 yo qt’s as soon as he got his Set 4 Lyfe Job????!?!?!?!?!?! he probably would have lived longer and been happier and done even more important stuff. of course can’t even read one page of nietzsche or any Philosopher without getting bored. reading philosophers is harrible. but many of them led very interesting lives. but even though nietzsche was a weird virgin, he was still not a lazy loser, because he got a phd at like age 20 and became head of philosophy by like age 25 or 30. so he was spending all this time obsessively reading, writing, and studying philosophy, and not worried about B!TCHES.

is it racist to look for drs based on them being white.  the majority of drs, do or md, are not white, and like whites best because am one, and  know we are smart enough to become dockers.  better question is, why am scared about being thought a racist? because white gurls will not give their filthy bodies that they love to defile with nonwhite cox??? hahahaha. am a white racist and proud.  no am not trolling for JIDF.