NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT, ONLY HALF

sheeeeit

sept 24

what i dont like about medical MJ is that you get put on a State List. that law enforcement and WHO KNOWS WHO ELSE can get access too. employers doing background checks? fedgov? aren’t background checks done BY law enforcement?

also if you have an MJ card, you CANNOT technically legally own a Firearm/Pistol. (what about a hunting rifle?)

you have to officially send back and revoke your MJ card if you want to legally own a firearm.

i have lived in two different worlds, one where owning a gun is UNTHINKABLE, and another where owning a gun is PERFECTLY NORMAL, NO PROBLEM MAN. And I personally much prefer the latter hahahahaha. its WEIRD that people can take SUCH HORRIFIED OFFENSE to the MERE IDEA of owning a GUN. but believe me, they absolutely DO. they are DISGUSTED at the very IDEA that people – working class, uneducated, trump supporting, WHITE people – even CAN own guns.

so youd think there wouldnt be a lot of MJ card holders who ALSO even WANT to own guns…..but youd be surprised! in the normie real world, people do have a healthy apprecation of their 2nd amendment rights hahaha and i cant blame them! so do i!

in other words, I SHOULD get a gun, but I’m too lazy and keep putting it off and havent done it yet because i;m too lazy to comply with the law and jump thru the hoops and do the paperwork and talk to the police.

anyway i REALLY dont want to have my name on a state list for something that is federally ILLEGAL .

also REALLY what are they REALLY doing about driving and MJ in legal states? like DUI arrests? i havent heard SHIT about that, but Im SURE its a big thing.

well, ive heard a little bit about the market for MJ breathalyzer tech. and i agree. i would not mind investing in such a company. i wish i could just invest 20 bucks hehehehe.

google invest in MJ breathalyzer

http://www.theweedblog.com/no-one-should-invest-marijuana-breathalyzer-company-stock/

best clickbait title ever hehehehe

we arent sure the tech really works! they can short the stock!

i mean shit. i just want to invest 20 to 50 bucks. but one simply cannot do that.

http://www.cannabixtechnologies.com/investors.html

hehehehe

i guess i could use one of those trading websites? maybe? to buy stock in this canadian company?

i might make enough on a 20 dollar investment to pay for the FEE on the trade! but probably not hahahaha. i would be better off putting the money in the BANK to get .1% interest.

anyway it strikes me as NAIVE AS FOOK that all these pro-legalization MJ people and MJ has 0 recorded fatalities in history maaaaaan, completely bury their head in the sand regarding MJ related car crashes, even though they would certainly take huge notice to alcohol related car deaths!!!!

methinks the local police would make JUST AS MUCH OR MORE revenue arresting people for MJ DUI than they did arresting people for MJ possession and dealing etc back in the day.  I WONDER.

even WORSE, many MJ advocated think alcohol DUI is immoral and disgusting, but they think its JUST FINE to drive under the influence of MJ. “oh i do it all the time, IT DOESNT IMPAIR YOUR DRIVING.”

bullshit hehehehehe. saying that as someone who has done it more than several times!

nonetheless i still want legal MJ so i can go into the store and buy some!

but employers are STILL gonna test for it! and companies who random testing of all their employees will STILL do that!

but i do agree that MJ test needs to be developed that tells you WHEN the person last blazed. 1 day ago? 1 hour ago?

and also measures exactly HOW IMPAIRED you are.

heh. this is pretty much why i drank. because it was fun. recreation. it blocked out the negative feels. could get stupified. kinda the very similar reason i want to sm0ke MJ!!!!!!!!!!

basically, if i hadnt totally screwed up with alcohol, I would probably be drinking right now!!!!

and then i would probably drink to excess and get in trouble. like i did. it was basically inevitable.

heh. i dont abuse nyquil simply because it isnt as fun! you cant get totally out of your mind on nyquil, if you do, the aceto will K you!

i guess i could just take a bunch of sleeping pills that have no aceto hehehehe.

then you are tired all the next day, kind of a big hangover.

alcohol has a TERRIBLE hangover, but its ALMOST worth it. it isn’t, but its easy to convince yourself it is!

and then you have a terrible hangover the entire next day hahahaha.

maybe i should go to the black ghetto and try to buy MJ from some shady looking thug on the street hahahaha.

ctrl f does not work on the chrome bookmarks page.

it does, but only on the current SCREEN. if you have a list of 1000 bookmarks, its only gonna search the 30 bookmarks or so that are on the screen without scrolling.

yes there is a separate search box, but that does not highlight the results, so you dont know where to find it in the NORMAL list.

but of course on regular webpages, ctrl f searches stuff on the whole page. because heads would roll if it didnt. that is a feature request the devs simply could not ignore. the users would come and crucify poor level 1 phone monkeys.

white women acting like muh dick negro apes. its disgusting. have a longer time preference. have less of a desperate need for instant gratification. muh dick. muh uterus. muh cl1toris. muh tingles.

since i am on NO social media, i FORGET how ANNOYING average regular normie women are on social media. facebook, twitter, and, my point right now, stuff like okcupid and i assume tinder. dating social media. the things they say and the way they present themselves is annoying as fook. unattractive. disgusting. lip curling. you say good lord, what a terrible annoying personality, but i guess id fook that body. which is a degen negro way of thinking of course!

i guess just keep in mind women come across as more unlikeable than they are in RL, as they do on Social Media.

in other words, tell yourself, she’s PROBABLY more likeable in real life. probably. less annoying than she seems here.

cuz i remember when i used to look for women on okcupid, after like 15 minutes, i would get discouraged and think THIS is what i have to pick from? i guess i will have to settle for negro muh dickin cuz none of these women are rel worthy. i will never find a woman i actually like, and its prob better to settle for degen negro casual sex and have SOME contact and experience and fun with women, than be celibate the rest of muh life pining for some perfect angel!

this was the some nihilistic mindset i had before i got feels for That Woman. welp, i will never get feelings for a woman again, but i GUESS I would be pretty happy with meaningless casual negro sex, thats good enough. get a harem of 10 gurls, i could be happy with that. its not like im getting any now anyway. just bang bitches and maybe one day meet a decent one but dont COUNT on it. dont get disappointed when you dont find that.

yesh this is pretty degen, and that degen is a lot easier to see when you take into account your new goal of Having Children. you want the mother of your children to be a god damn whore? to ask the question is to answer it!

so yeah thats the difference between now and 2012. in 2012 i didnt really care about having children, in 2015 i do. that also makes the dumping harder. and makes it harder to settle for meaningless, nihilistic, degenerate muh dick transactional “relationships.”

i mean in 2012 i was still pretty darn pro white, mind you!

i refer to 2012 because that was the last dumping/heartbreak. which was not nearly as bad. oh life was good then. i got heartbroken but i still had an easy job and i didnt quit it. i didnt have a 14 month and growing gap on muh resume. i had a new female friend i got along with which proved to me that women were normal human beings and that I Had What It Takes to Get Along with Them.

yep just break it into little chunks. do one application a day. then 500 days & applications later, you might have a job hahahaha.

prob closer to 600 hahahaha.

well i did 4 applications today, 3 at this one company where it went REALLY quick, like 5 minutes each. simply had to upload muh resume (in my case, the 10 page behemoth document) 3 times and just changing the name of the job in the cover letter. which is prob bad because i need to do MOAR TAILORING of the cover letter than just the damn job title. but why im the BEST candidate for this IT department job or that Scheduling department job or That HR department job.

how does that woman do it. how does ANY normie do it. how are you the best at something that pays 13 an hour or above.

how come 80% of all jobs posted are not entry level jobs? they should hire from within! where are the entry level jobs posted? or are they not posted, and they all go thru temp agencies? but many temp agencies POST these jobs. and indeed i am very close to going down that route. just as long as it isnt doing tech support phones. where i have to beg and argue to get something escalated. shit if i could escalate on my own authority, that wouldnt be super bad. some places you can. you go over 20 minutes, then boom you have blanket permission. of course they will prob try to fire you because you go over 20 minutes to much and escalate too many cases “due to time.” well then hire some dumb 85 iq negro and see if THEY fix it in under 20 minutes. well they’ll just bullshit to get the person off the phone in 19 minutes without solving the issue. and that’s fine. THAT’s ok. leave the problem unsolved, as long as its less than 19 minutes. i hate that mindset.

sept 25

on EVERY website its pretty easy to FLAG or REPORT something to the moderators.

but not on INDEED! for example, a big financial services company (bank?) with a listing on indeed, sounds like a decent entry level job, but the apply link takes you to this other site, and that site looks kinda fishy, and makes you think it’s not really the company it says on indeed.

maybe its a temp job at that company. well they should say that. i mean this is essentially a fancy swiss bank and i would HOPE they would contract with more professional people.

also, if you can only get entry level jobs at big companies thru AGENCIES (for example, assembly line jobs with major big manufacturers)…………… how do you find out WHICH agency to apply to to find the jobs at Company A or B or C?

ok on that kriegsmaschine prism i linked a little while ago, that is NOT the same awesome mgla drummer as mgla has now. it is actually the mgla drummer they had BEFORE him….who is still pretty darn good! this guy also played on the “altered states of divinity” lp.

basically, im trying to say, kriegsmaschine changed a LOT over the years, and i probably prefer the older, blastier stuff. there is no blasting on their 2014 album with the genius mgla drummer darkside. which is a SHAME because he is an amazing drummer and i WANT to hear him blast like a madman. he does it occasionally with mgla, so i dont think he considers himself above it. there are also normie pictures of him on facebook and he is HANDSOME! I bet he has NO problem getting a qt innocent polish trad waifu!!!! jelly!!!!!

 

here is another polish bm band i should be paying a lot more attention to. including fast blasts, great drummer, good production, and lots of melodic riffs, and a sense of “creativity” and “original style.”

yeah ive known about them for like 2 years but never really gave them a fair listen. new music takes a lot of effort but this group seems to be worth it.

i mean there is SO MUCH BLACK METAL going on in poland right now, its AMAZING, its not just graveland only anymore folks. its possible poland is the #1 black metal country in the world right now. which makes me very happy since poland is one of my favorite countries period, always will be.

 

on this earlier album they sound a little more black metally maybe hahaha. not so postmodern and hipster hahahahaha.

 

ok i am tired of metal for the day. i want to listen to something chill. for some reason i came to this album. it is described as “post rock slowcore” but we will see. rather phaggy sigur ros style singing. which is not inherently bad. i mean who am i to crap on “agaetis byrjun”. i am not informed enough to tell if this is a blatant sigur ros ripoff or not.

 

i am looking for some slow chill kinda “SAD BASTARD” music. older red house painters would be perfect but RHP reminds me too much of That Woman, so, no go. no can do little buddy.

baby steps. do one thing a day. one application a day.  baby steps. i only did 3.6 miles of walking today. but got under muh calorie goal of 1200, and also the whole week averaged under 1200 for all days. not that i even NEED to lose weight. but I lost about 18% of muh body weight starting in jan 2016 and it has been noticeable.

mazzy star and hope sandoval, their shtick is pretty obvious, and you will know right away if you like it or not. normally i hate everything about women, but i do like her voice hahahahaha. like when i used to listen to cat power hahahaha. no i cant crap on cat power. even if she is a marxist whore. so is hope sandoval probably hahahaha. they’re all race mixers mud sharks hahahaha.

like varg vikernes’ 23 year old beautiful daughter who i shudder to think how many brown guys shes sucked and fooked in britain and norway hahahahahahaha.

o god. well theres an internet rumor that this qt 23 year old norwegian singer is vargs daughter, and it is a fact that he has a 23 year old daughter from some random woman when he was very young.

and yeah i am troubled a bit by him being a “deadbeat father” to this gurl.

also we dont know for sure that this girl IS his daughter. but she kinda looks like him. I mean varg is a handsome man even though he looks old and haggard now. but he cleans up very well. and i would imagine his daughter would be 8/10 attractive hahahaha. i wont even say the gurls name because i dont want to contribute to the rumor.

but she likes miley cyrus and likes attention and likes dressing up and getting made up and i know varg wouldnt allow that if he were actually involved in the girls life. but he couldnt be, because he was in jail for most of her life!

i guess he got a women preggers right before he went to jail and the woman did the unnorwegian thing by not getting an abortion, so thats good…..i mean damn thats a hard situation. damn.

also, until varg comes out and says this girl is not my daughter, or she comes out and says varg is not my father, the rumor is actually pretty plausible!!!!!!!

but im glad varg married a young woman and had 4 or 5 children with her and is very involved with that family!!!!!

but yeah if this beautiful 23 year old girl IS his daughter, then I REALLY hope she hasn’t mudsharked, and what the hell would varg have to say about that.

i say this all as someone who is a fan of vargs music AND his pro-white ideology hehehehehe.

TIL that if you eat a huge bowl of special k cereal with 2 cups of whole milk (4 cups / 124 g of cereal hahahahaha) that is 780 calories hahahahaha.

i just ate a 780 calorie bowl of CEREAL and i am still hungry hehehehehe.

well to be fair that was 5 hours ago hehehehe.

heh. i hate that idiots can be gainfully employed but i cant because reasons hahaha. because i get nervous in interviews and i have a huge gap hahahaha. if i were a qt 25 year old gurl it wouldnt matter.

well got one app done today at least. baby steps. bit by bit. infinitely better than 0 hehehehe. i mean i  did 4 the other day, 5 the other day. sheeeeit.

never been a huge death fan but shit. i first heard about death when “the sound of perseverance” CAME OUT, just to once again whine about my age.

at my current age i would lean more towards the less progressive death hehehehe. also where chuck sounds less like his balls have been cut off.

yes i am aware that chuck is 50% jooish. believe me i can never forget it.

new darkthrone album just came out. welp i do like the production on this album and for some unknown reason i am optimistic about this album. i probably should have been optimistic about their previous album.

listen im old enough to remember when “the cult is alive” and then “foad” came out. i was like hmm what are you doing here darkthrone. and i was interested but both albums were boring as hell, so i just ignored everything they did since then.

while “transilvanian hunger” and “panzerfaust” were all time favorites of muh youth. smoking MJ as a 17 year old and playing riffs from those albums.

so they went from classic, to FOOKING BORING AF.

so really, i kinda EXPECT them to be BORING AF, and I expect this album to get boring after 3 songs, but it DOES have a great production sound. hopefully there is plenty of culto screams. i didnt like that culto rolled back his screams and then fenriz started singing more songs.

also its weird that they refuse to play shows. i can see not going on long tours, but wouldnt it be FUN to play a SHOW once a YEAR in NORWAY?

I mean they both seem like basic metal normies, not too weird, probably a fair amount of degen in there. like fenriz should have some CHILDREN and not be listening to METAL all day. i guess he used to be married but he got divorced. maybe his wife was tired of being married to a manchild hahahahahahahahahaha no i have no idea.

maybe his wife was a masculinized norwegian wimmin. all i know is that she did some artwork for famous black metal albums like “bergtatt” and maybe “transilvanian hunger.”

i mean i dont HATE fenriz’s power metal vocals. and yeah the drum sound and guitar sound is GREAT on this new album. and culto sounds pretty good. but what about the RIFFS? too early to tell.

making a pot of Chili, felt some agency today. the big value add was that I added some BACON. maybe even too much. theres a lot of bacon fetishizing going on the past 10 years, but i cant really argue against it…..well yes the FETISHIZATION of ANYTHING I can argue against. But basically Im saying that Bacon IS good and makes just about anything better. but what about muh chili. we will see. I just tore it up and threw it in there with the ground beef, browned all the meats, added tomato sauce, beans, spices, and letting it all simmer on low for at least 2 hours.

ok does nocturno culto have any children? he better. i mean fenriz should too.

they know how to get a great sound though. and i am 90% sure this is just them in their “studio” / rehearsal space. in a damn nondescript little room. nothing fancy at all. but this is NOT EASY TO DO. so I respect them for being able to do it well. IMO, it shouldnt be complicated. Id like to think I could do it too. also i can write boring riffs…..like darkthrone! but mine are even worse hahahaha.

ate the chili. it was bretty good. protein and fibre packed. yes i use beans, a lot of beans, i like the beans. mind you theres a lot of damn beef in there too. beef beans and bacon is what it is basically. thankfully the bacon taste did not overwhelm at all. i put like 6 strips of bacon in with 2 lbs of beef and about 2 lbs of beans hahahahaha. i absolutely did NOT drain any fat from the meat hahahahaha.

YUGE trump vs shillary first debate tonight. def pretty exciting there. i should really use the opportunity to get my rep up on TRS forum hahahaha.

just saw a jackass in the hofstra university crowd wearing a tshirt with a gorilla in red white and blue which said “HARAMBE FOR PRESIDENT” hahahahaha. or HARAMBE 2016. it defeinitely said HARAMBE hehehehe. well memed muh boy.

wonder if some TRS or related people are out there right now. pool parties.

baby steps every day. at least 1 job app a day (still need to do), and also i want to do 10-15 pushups every day.

everyones making a big deal out of fenriz being a “politician” but really he is just a SUBSTITUTE city council member and he didnt even WANT the job. literally ANYONE could have put their name in and got the job. in fact who knows if it even pays anything.

boo hoo let him have his fun, he wanted to put up a funny picture of him and his cat, why should i be a buzzkill.

i wonder if he is become a crazy old cat man!!!!!

i can appreciate cats, but dogs are better, and come on. you dont wnat to be a crazy old cat man.

OK SILLY EVIL WH1TES, TIME TO GO NOW, YOUVE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit

sept 22

yeah there is def a mental emotional change when you have been a jobless neet for over a YEAR. you see a nice 12 dollar job and think wow maybe i could do this, and then you automatically get discouraged, like they will see this neetgap and say into the trash this neet goes.

so i am increasingly thinking a part time thing will be MANDATORY for me to regain my “training wheels” and gradually shed muh neetism. and then i have a MUCH better chance at getting those sweet bigboy 12 dollar jobs. and finding a nice fat white trash mudshark waifue hahahahaha. bbbbbb SHE makes 15 an hour! she is 3 full levels above me!

oh well i am done with her and i will be alone the rest of muh life, never find as good of a woman, big deal, who cares, i can get a 11 dollar part time job, be a part time bum and dnate money to 1488 orgs who support white children and white families that i will never have hahahahaha.

fook it who cares. smoke MJ erryday and dnate 20 bucks a year to white orgs hahaha really making a difference.

yeah well at least im not FAT!!!!!!!!!

should prob start LIFTING hahahaha.

11 Unusual Ways to Stand Out in a Job Interview

http://bit.ly/2cm4pHJ

#interview #interviewadvice #interviewattire #interviewetiquette #officebehavior via @Glassdoor

send a handwritten thank you note on fancy card stock? jeebus. fook this bitch. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. maybe thats why ive been rejected at 18 interviews. cuz all their other people sent handwritten thank yous on card stock. no ya dumb broad its because i have a 14 month gap. a 14.88 month gap hahahahahahahahaha hail victory, hail the fuhreri, gtkrwn

https://upfrommorallylazyloserness.wordpress.com/2016/09/21/6518/

top 20% post here tbh fam, hall of fame. rising above the rising tide of mediocrity hahaha. up from neetness’s best. go back and reread this on fo sho hehehehe.

repost this one. hehehe. top 10% even. LOL

yeah i bought that millennial woes t shirt hahahaha. no more t shirts for a while hahahaha.

i liked that that woman was more used to REJECTION than normie women. rejected by her longterm bf, rejected by her short term bf, rejected for jobs that other people got. she would not get hired just for being a pretty young gurl, prob because she came across as dumb and dull, but i didnt think that outweighed being a pretty young gurl! but for her it did. so she would have to go to 2 or 3 interviews at diff places before one said yes. rather than getting an offer for her very first place. but she would still find something relatively soon. didnt have to send out 550 applications and do 19 interviews. and i am much sharper and present much better than her! well, except that i get nervous and spergy. and i have a huge gap. which outweighs me being a fairly decent interviewer, apparently.

yeah well im smarter than HER. im better than HER hahahaha. i deserve to make 15 an hour and she only deserves to make 13 an hour hahahaha. because i am WAY BETTER than her hahahaha.

no i dont really believe that, thats just my shitty defense mechanism against her making me feel so weak and worthless and inferior and thrown away hahaha.

who cares. only me, no one else. she for DAMN sure doesnt care anymore.

but yeah even me being on a 3 week stretch of No Interviews has definitely weakened muh confidence. sheeeeeeeit.

basically, if you dont do a job/work in a long time, you start to feel INCAPABLE of doing a job, that you dont have what it TAKES to do a job.

if you havent had secs in 10 years, you begin to feel you dont have WHAT IT TAKES to have secs with women. or you have permanently LOST what it takes.

i dont care too much about secs, but i DO care about Having What It Takes to Get Secs, when its Game Time and I find a mother of my children material of woman!!!!!

When you havent had a Trad Monog LTR with a woman ever, you begin to feel like you are missing What It Takes to have a Trad Monog LTR with a woman!

Feels Bad Man!

hehe he will probably get TORN APART for “wanting to make it a little painful for her” oh you evil evil evil horrible person!

actually a fairly decent good thread, would recommend

the idea that the outside world finds you worthless. the real world. The Market finds you worthless and unemployable. Women find you worthless and uncommit-to-able. this stream of negative thoughts is what causes despair and it must be stopped. and not with recreational drugs. but what about MJ? hehehehe.

sheeeeit. wife cant hide her CHEATING because the guy DIED and she was devastated by it, and this is how her hubby finds out. cheatin bitches, nothing sacred hehehe.

i bet all the people telling him not to get a paternity test are WOMEN. hahahaha. women WOULD say some bullshit like that.

i accept that you can luv kids who are not biologically yours…….but i claim that you need to know. because you deserve to know if YOUR legacy is continuing. you are entitled to WANT biological children of your own.

tried to listen to evoken “antithesis of light” and, just like the last time i tried listening to it, i was like, this is ok, its doomy and slow and dark and  i like the drums and this guy really does have good craig pillard esque lowass growling vocals which i really like (interestingly enough pillard actually joined the band for one album but he never did his classic lowass growls tho! just played bass. also i like craig pillard because he is an outspoken pro-white. or at least he used to be and i hope he still is!)

and the drums sounded good but god damn the songs did not hit me the same way as the songs on their previous albums. the riffcraft was not as compelling. a few cool riffs and a lot of that disembowelmentesque clean ethereal guitar over heavy slow riffs, i like that, but…….i dunno the songs just dont seem as good as on the albums before it, and this is the same impression i got of this album every time i tried listening to it, and then i stopped following evoken and they have 2 albums AFTER this!!!!!! but i want to give them more chances, i really do, they are good bois, they dindu nuffin.

you know that feel when somebody asks you a question or gives you a problem that is WAY ABOVE YOUR PAY GRADE? well now imagine that its STILL your job to fix the problem, and the people whos pay grade it IS, are gonna fight you and your client tooth and nail to PROVE that its really above your pay grade. just believe me when i say i can’t do this!!!!

but then again i tend to underestimate myself and think i am incapable of a LOT!

ok we need no explanation or qualification of how mgla is a great band, but KSM needs a little more luv. Also this album sounds a lot different than KSM’s “enemy of man” and is very blasting, raw, fast, savage, does not really sound like mgla at all, whereas i guess “enemy of man” sound more mglalike. plus this is just a great drummer and it is nice just to listen to him play. and to GOMAD like he does here. i am not sure its the same singer though.

heh. i was in ARBYS getting sum ROASTIES and there was the cutest 18 year old gurl in the world working there. snow white skin, super light blond hair, i mean she was super blond. and just ridiculously, insanely cute, like real aryan tradwives in wheatfields tier, i cant believe such a gurl EXISTS at the ARBYS 1 mile away from my home!

i mean she was YOUNG though, 18 at the OLDEST. I mean I had to take a step back and pick my jaw off the ground. I was BOWLED OVER. IMPRESSED. turned into total mush at this sight of this TEEN GURL. an 18 year old gurl reducing a 35 year old man to Jelly heehehehehe.

No I am not 35 but I use that as an approximation of my age, I am close enough to 35.

” I personally hold strongly that part of the goal of a marriage is to be one another’s moral partners ” says glassisnotglass on

i thought that was a very interesting thing of them to say, and I probably agree.

heh. HOW COME it takes till age 25 for women to “figure out what they want???” It doesnt take MEN till age 25. it didnt take me. this is setting the bar very low and encouraging bad behavior from women.

some stupid reddit thing about a 23 year old woman acting like a 12 year old, and tons of people are saying, well what do you expect, shes onyl 23. NO EXCUSE. YOU SHOULDNT BE THAT IMMATURE AT AGE 23. YOU SHOULD BE MARRIED WITH 2 CHILDREN AT LEAST.

signed into my old twitter for the first time in 3 years and see real life people i used to know literally saying antiwhite shit. like these crazy WHITE PEOPLE. UGH. OLD WHITE PEOPLE. Trump supporters. UGH. these WHITE people are SO UGH. YOURE WHITE YA MORON!!!!!!! these WHITE people calling other white people WHITE as a pejorative. like UGH. so DUMB and RACIST and WORKING CLASS and UNEDUCATED and AFRAID and INSECURE. WHITE PEOPLE SUCK.

these are real people. who were close friends with people i was close friends with. who get a masters degree and a decent middle class job. this is the type of shit they say to sound funny or smart.

even this other guy who trolls feminists and would be a good MGTOW candidate, white people are still UGH to him. even though he could potentially be red pilled on women.

but if youre 31 years old and not red pilled on WOMEN yet, you will never be red pilled on ANYTHING.

people really close to my age are so blue pilled and lame and antiwhite hahaha. the YOUNGER kids, there is actual potential there. people my age are the lamest, antiwhitest, SHITLIBS you could imagine.

the world is not overly white!!!!!! ever heard of africa, asia, middle east, south america? whites are already a MINORITY in the WORLD!!!!!!

or OH GOD I HAVE 1 out of 1000 FB friends is a TRUMP SUPPORTER!!!!!!! it prob wasnt a very close friend either. these people are less tolerant than ME, the 1488 GTKRWN White Supremacist!!!!!

“joking” about being able to spot trump supporters just by looking at a room of random people. they are probably white and fat. like you hahahahahahaha. but dont make stupid antiwhite jokes on twitter.

he has a kid and luvs being a dad and is puzzled that people under 25 are so antinatalist because having a kid is really awesome! which would be awesome if……..his kid were white. yep. white guy with a mixed baby who makes antiwhite jokes all the time and its more than just jokes, he is a true believer in diversity, and that whites have done enough harm. its time to take your final lap whites and get ready to retire. we’ve have enough of whites.

this is literally how these WHITE PEOPLE think. they admit that whites are evil, whites are bad, don’t lump ME in with white people, i might be white but I admit white people have done more harm than good, and THATS WHY diversity is good, because it DECREASES THE NUMBER OF WHITE PEOPLE. WHITES ARE BAD, SO ITS GOOD TO HAVE LESS WHITES. get rid of the whites, theyve DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE. good god.

uhhh way to assume all working class shop rats in a particular large industry dislike  barry. pretty sure they would vote for barry or hillary because they are lazy union scumdogs that are 50% nonwhite. but in the white antiwhites mind, all working class people are White Trump Supporting Racists. uhhh youre forgetting about all the NONWHITE working class people ya moron.  you think theyre voting for trump?

this is honestly a nice good decent guy so I can’t Curse him too much, but my god. his ideology makes me more sick than myideology would make him sick.  and he lives muh dream of having a good job and having a wife and being a father. i dont even doubt his nonwhite wife is a good person but i still wish he married a white woman and had a white baby and wasnt so god damn disgusting antiwhite! youre WHITE! just accept it! embrace it! learn to love your whiteness!

laugh at the jimmy buffet listening white people getting cray to their white people music! YOU ARE WHITE!!!!

its like they FORGET THAT THEY ARE WHITE, talking about white people LIKE YOU ARENT WHITE.

no they dont forget it. this is just their way of signaling that they arent like this. that they arent proud of being white. whites are a JOKE.

Literally 20% of his tweets are making fun of white people or whiteness. no other racial groups. just whites. ok its probably more like 10% but its a CONSISTENT 10%. sure enough, there’s another white joke in with the random jokes about your baby or food or funny stuff at work or whatever.

well i guess its more interesting than the other poeple who tweet about SPORTSBALL hehehehe. YAWN.

none of the people on my “real life men” list could be considered even slightly right of center. or even center. ALL leftists. well to be fair its the one guy doing the tweeting. i mean there is lotta twitter attrition here.

i made a separate list for women because literally EVERYTHING they say is stupid, so i didnt want to read them any more. again they would all be leftists but thats the default state for young tweeting women.

ok done with that bullshit. it is AMAZING how different i am from these people. and i LIKE being different. i WANT to stand up for my own side. I WANT To defend whites. i am seriously PRO-white. I dont throw MY people under the bus.  i dont make fun of whites. i seriously stand for and with Working Class Whites.

i dont blindly suck trumps dick but i HAVE to vote for him because he says ANYTHING supportive of working class whites!

these other whites have nothing but CONTEMPT for working class whites!!!!!

so dissapointing and sad. i mean this guy is smart, he’s actually funny, he’s a nice guy. he didnt HAVE to turn out like this. i mean i dont HATE him. I dont HATE his nonwhite wife and kid. i just have to shake my head. SMH.

yet more evidence that I REALLY need to go to pro white meetups and meet other pro white real life people. i HAVE to.

or at least find people i already know who already have pro-white inklings.

and its disappointing when the white poeple you know DONT have these inklings, in fact they make anti white jokes, and truly believe that Whites Have Done Enough Harm, Its Time To Go Now, Buh Bye Whites.

this is THE underlying belief, which makes debating nonwhites pointless.

basically: whites have power, nonwhites dont, whites have used their power to oppress nonwhites, and this reign of terror is starting to crumble and come to and end, and that’s a good thing! it’s GOOD when white population declines! Good! whites are a net negative, a cancer of humanity, whites have done more harm than good, ITS TIME FOR THEM TO GO. and WHTE PEOPLE BELIEVE THIS FULLY.

no its not fair for whites to protect themselves, because whites are OBJECTIVELY EVIL! whites are the most harmful race! its ONLY FAIR that whites pay the karmic price by dying off! Good!

this is LITERALLY how these people think! and it makes me sick!

well at least i got 5 applications done today, havent gotten 5 in at LEAST a week. spread them out all throughout the day. took the edge off by playing cards WHILE doing the application. or, intentionally doing the app slowly and not quickly, even if it would skew my numbers. so then i took the slow time and just took 10%-15% off of it. i guess i could also just input the Current Average of 13 minutes. or how about 14 or 15.

sept 23

received rejection from post office job today that i interviewed for like 3 months ago. for the PSE mail processing clerk. funny that i was actually offered a carrier job but not the processing job.

and i turned down the carrier offer because of shit i read online hahahaha. i still dont feel too bad about that hahahaha.

but i still feel incapable of doing/handling just about any job!

how come SHE can handle a job but I cant?

note: these thoughts dont seem to bother me as much as they once did, thank GOD.

but, how come any random NORMIE can handle a job but I cant? is the more general version of that thought.

heh. so whites are responsible for most of the INJUSTICE in the world and therefore we need to balance out the balance sheet. whites still have a DEBT TO PAY. thats why they mock them and like it when whites fade away.

i need to really start socialising with white people who are proud to be white hahahaha.

not that i really hang out with whites who mock whites anyway! these people I see on twitter, i dont really see them in RL anymore. i will see people like this only very occasionally. the people i see most regularly are not nearly this bad, hahahahaha. thank GOD.

but i would STILL like to hang out with people who are blatantly pro-white, like me hahahaha.

so, WHITES deserve to lose power because they have been so UNJUST and OPPRESSIVE for HUNDREDS OF YEARS. They brought this on themselves. They are the Douchebro race and now they need to learn that they cant act like that without consequence. have to be held accountable.

this is exactly the antiwhite view, its so simple, and we would do well to remind ourselves of it. you cant logic with these people. you cant change them or redpill them or chip away at them. they are basically hopeless race traitors hahahaha.

but yeah debating THEM is useless but like bulbasaur says, its more useful for the listening audience, to chip away at the people who actually are on the fence.

sometimes people adopt certain personas to fit in or make friends, indeed i was like that. when i was 20 i was a huge antiwhite leftist who thought that mocking the ebil whites was a way to make friends with the cool leftist kids and maybe win the approval of the qt leftist gurls (at leftist university, all the gurls were leftist).

but that was when i was 20! these people are not 20 any more!

so i thank GOD that I became woke by age 30 hahahaha. this guy on twitter is not, and never will be. you find a 30 year old that is talking like this, its pretty hopeless. and they have children. and will teach their children this crap.

are there any people that people redpilled AFTER they have children? i think some guys on the fatherland actually were. actually i think having children starts the redpilling for some people. well good for them. they were probably on the fence anyway, or werent blatantly antiwhite to begin with.

i will do everything i can to live out the 14 words, but it still is VERY frustrating to think that I dont Have What It Takes to have my OWN white children.

i mean if shit is mostly genetic, i should be able to have children with a white skank, and abandon them, and they will prob still turn out all right…..right?

but its patently horrible to abandon your children, and i wouldnt really want to do that.

and i dont really WANT to have children with a white trash skank!!!!

but if thats my only option to have children? you cant live in a fantasy world, you gotta live in the REAL world hehehehe.

so yeah i guess my plan is, if i havent had children by age 50, then just go the desperate plan z route of knocking up basically any white woman that will take me.

but that child would be MISERABLE!!!!!!!

heh. i remember when i was on facebook. like 7 years ago. i would get triggered by the stupid annoying things people would say, especially women. i just wanted to get away from it all. so i did. years later i brought back facebook and only had 7 friends this time. basically people who did not post annoying stupid shit and were trusted long term fairly special friends. that worked out ok until i friended THat Woman hahahaha and so i have deactivated this FB for the past 14 months hehehe.

but seeing that guys shitty twitter just made me think, damn, facebook is EVEN WORSE. even MORE idiots saying even MORE stupid shit. and i was GLAD I didnt have to put up with that….. but i was also frustrated because maybe this means i am too easily triggered and cant DEAL with real life people!!!!!!!

well being annoyed by peoples stupid political and moral opinions on facebook is nothing new. normies get annoyed at this too. they just dont have the BALLS to cut off fb entirely like me hahahahaha.

yeah i mean i do like seeing pictures of muh friends beautiful white children.

but everyone I know has my email address and phone number. I check email 1488 times a day. its always open. its open right now. i get 1488 job alerts a day. i just looked at email right now.

you can search my name on google and find my linkedin and twitter pages, which have my email on them. my phone number is available to connections on my linkedin page.

i dont NEED facebook in other words.

why would you “DATE” somebody if “its not a serious relationship?” where date obviously means casually fooking. i swear it is the stupid WOMEN who ruin reddit with their womanly bullshit.

the things they advise, if a guy actually was like that, they would dump him quickly. they view kindness and respect as weakness. and actual weakness they view as worse than abuse or stalking or raep.

comedy. i used to be much more into comedy. well, my good friend was really into comedy and he is a great guy and i supported him and felt i had a somewhat similar appreciation for comedy and comedians, actually smart funny good comedians vs bad comedians, comic timing, what makes something funny, etc.

as i have become more 1488 i have become less tolerant of comedians. i guess louis ck is a great example of the change i’ve gone through. he’s new enough that he was never grandfathered in in my youth. he started gaining a reputation as a smart person’s comedian and writer. i sort of appreciate his Depth of Character Development, which is above average…..but he’s still a cuckold phaggot. I watch his stuff sometimes with some interest. he’s smart enough to know better, so its disappointing to see him ultimately be a big blue pill jooish phaggot. and really he’s nly 25% jooish. but he seems like way more hahahaha.

like i was watching this show on fx “better things” which he is the co creator of, along with the female star, who was actually the voice of bobby on king of the hill. here she plays a degenerate single mother actress mudshark basket case skank with an alcoholic skank single mother herself. no positive masculine characters. all the females are stronk independent fragile basket case skanks. it totally makes sense to have louis ck in on this, and its pretty disgusting.

you can do better louis, just dont be such a weak degen. but he wont, i am confident in that. so into the oven he goes.

and its very similar with all of tv, movies, hollywood, etc. its all jooish degen, and has been well before 1965. hollywood has been jooish even since like 1920 hahahahaha.

so what. whos a good comedian? george carlin? bill hicks? they seem edgy but really its just basic bitch libertarian bullshit, and that’s just not good enough.

yet when i was 23 and met a super qt 20 year old gurl who actually knew and liked bill hicks, i thought oooooo this gurl is so special. normie gurls dont even know who bill hicks is.

of course she turned out to be a crazy mudshark slut, and thankfully i quickly got over my infatuation with her. seeing a 2015 tweet from her (not a frequent tweeter but im sure she is a mad FBer) shows that she essentially supports BLM, hates cops, thinks cops are The White Man oppressing and killing Blacks, and also guns are bad too.

at age 29 this girly leftism becomes a lot less cute than at age 20, and i have some schadenfreude as she rapidly approaches The Wall with no husband, no children, because guess what cupcake: YOU ARENT GOOD WIFE MATERIAL.

you cant get down on women for being leftist though, women are natural leftists. it’s the man’s job to guide them to the right.

still, does that mean women HAVE TO express their dumb stupid leftist opinions? why cant they just be more Apolitical????? Apolitical is ideal.

indeed, not all people express stupid opinions on fb or twitter or whatever.

some of them have Anonymous Blogs where they write 148800000000 word posts on far right stuff and traditional values. find me that woman hahahaha. no jk. in a woman, thats just weird. for a man, well, then i would like to hang out with that guy!

and thats obviously what i need to do ASAP. meet more real life white men with Racially Woke Far Right Wing views and morals like me.

i kinda am interested in getting a part time ABA autism job. just to see what its like. i dont have that kind of curiosity for other shitty jobs hahaha. and all the ABA jobs are part time, low paying, low qualifications, low bar, seems like it would be easy for a dumb ingra woman to get hahahahaha so why not me. well thats presumptuous, i have interviewed for SEVERAL part time 11 dollar an hour jobs and not gotten an offer!

i could say i have autism myself. no i just have terrible social anxiety. big difference hhahaha.

hehehehehehehehe  this young man of 26 he is way younger than me AND he has a gf who doesnt dump him because he is at a deadend job making shit money and he is unhappy and so why doesnt she dump him because to keep a woman you have to be in charge and happy all the fookin time. and the second you have a low phase and ask them can i lean on you for some moral support, they say nope dont be so insecure needy and clingy, im gone, this is your fault for pushing me too much. hahahahahaha

heh. so a person goes to the dr to ask for some benzos because they are scared of flying, doc says ok fine, gives them <10 xanax.

this is a lot different than someone who says holy fook i need benzos to go to my job EVERY DAY because im so freaked out by my JOB EVERY DAY.

the guy who freaks out on planes does NOT freak out about his job. he survives his job quite easily, makes 40k+ a year, goes out and socializes on work nights, gets 6 hours of sleep tops, and doesnt mind. doesnt freak out.  wouldnt THINK of taking benzos for the job.

and i think OH GOD I NEED BENZOS JUST TO SURVIVE EACH DAY AT THE JOB.

now i didnt really. i got like 6 months prescription of benzos but just hoarded them. in hindsight i wish i HAD taken them on the job. but I was worried about Seemed Stoned to everybody, so I just continued to freak out and not take them, except on weekends sometimes, just to take the edge off.

today is friday night, party time, took half dose of nyquil, my go to party drug. wish i had a big bag of indica MJ, then i would smoke that hehehe.

woo hoo got 6 applications in today. got about 250 calories over my goal tho. but i wanted to get at least 5 applications today in order to feel like a basic human being. and i did hehehe. even as the nyquil is making my thinking less sharp hehehe.  also my apps are getting longer and bringing my average up. I remember when I was at like 12.9 minutes. now i am at like 13.3 minutes. not cool man!

i guess i am a little jealous of women. they can get a Trad Monog LTR even if they are totally crazy, “babies give me a mental breakdown, and im also suicidal.” a MAN this crazy would be a foreveralone virgin, compounding his suizidality.

but again we know the reason why. power of the uterus. so it is only RIGHT that any woman, even a crazy one, doesnt need to make a HUGE EFFORT to get a man, and can still easily get a man even with HUGE DEALBREAKERS.

this woman is so crazy that “babies make me want to K myself” good LORD.

hehehehe. theses STUPID ARGUMENTS that the WOMEN START. we never got to that point. she would just dump me long before it got to this point hahahaha.

i have an anxious attachment style, she has an avoidant attachment style hahahaha. maybe i need another anxious person hahaha.

i know you have to put in LOTS of applications before you get a job, and it ALWAYS takes LONGER than you think…..but HOW long? HOW many applications? over a year? over 500 applications?

yeah sure i should get WAY more than 500 applications in a year, but I was really lazy and shitty for the first 6 months of that hahahahaha. so yeah i could get more like 800 applications in a year.

 

ON THE JOB TRAINING IS NOT TRAINING AT ALL

aug 27

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

i mean i study the companies before doing the interviews. i write thank you emails. i dress nice. i shave my face. i act very interested in the job. i ask questions at the end. what the hell am i doing wrong hahahaha. my fatal flaw is that i get a little nervous. and that i have such a long GAP. something must be DEEPLY WRONG with me. he needs SERIOUS HELP. he SHOULDNT BE working. or, he thinks hes gonna work HERE? HA! he needs to PAY HIS DUES first! get a job at walmart or mcdonalds or a shitty restaurant or call center, show that youre WILLING TO WORK first, before you can get an AWESOME job like this!

this is for that phone interview on monday. looks like the company is more reputable than i thought. winning all these best places to work awards, having many skilled and respected engineers, a destination kind of employer, that only wants the best of the best. which i am not. but i was when i was 17-18!

also my problem is that i cant just suck it up and live through a shitty job. it breaks me down into a Dumpster Fire and then I end up Committing Career Suicide and moving DOWN the career ladder ultimately. i dont really pay dues but get actively punished.

then i see all the people with engin degrees working for this palce, making 60k, thinking DAMN, I went to a TOP SKOOL, I went to a better skool than THEY did, why didnt I just get a damn ENGIN degree, then I could be making 60k too, I could have a wife and a FAMILY, and a good job, instead of being a huge neet loser who cant deal with LIFE.

and get angry and discouraged and slow down on muh job search hahaha.

yeah well today i am studying the company so i sound informed on muh 15 minute phone interview monday. see if its enough to overcompensate and get me a physical interview. prob not hahahaha.

then tomorrow i will study the company for tuesday int. much more of a blue collar place. but they are big and they have been around a while. not some fly by night arab company hahahaha. or shitty crab people asian company.

shit i had way more confidence in 2013 when i was working my mickey mouse job and was becoming close friends with That Woman.

see im desperate but i also cant take just any job because if i take a super shitty call center or customer service job, i am very worried about muh emotional health, and would i snap and quit. i dont want to put myself into a position like that so i avoid applying for those kinda jobs. high stress jobs hahahaha.

thinking about partying tonight with a valium nyquil combo. it is saturday nigth after all.

so, have a better feeling about the tuesday interview than the monday interview as a job i could actually GET. but i feel the monday place would be more fun and chill and better workplace than the tuesday place. well of COURSE its HARD to get into a GOOD workplace! the easier the job is to get, the WORSE the job is gonna be, the more it is gonna push you to your Limit.  and not in the good way hahahaha.

aug 28

took the valium nyquil combo around 645 pm, did 4.2 mile powerwalk, went to bed, slept pretty good. the combo i guess chilled me out a little bit and made me sleep good. would still prefer partaking MJ hahahaha.

it shuts your mind down, you cant think negative thoughts because it takes too much effort to think at all hahahaha. in other words it might be difficult to WORK, where you are trying to solve problems and bullshit on your feet all day. explaining and bullshitting and coming up with plans and reasons and explanations and answers and solutions.

sheeeeeeeit. it might be That Womans birthday very very soon. thankfully it doesnt bother me as much as youd think it would. one of my goals was to spend a womans birthday with her and have birthday cuddling with them, or having them spend my birthday with me and have birthday cuddling. or secs. or handholding. or making out. or hanging out.

never happened though hahahahahahaha. 2 years ago i went to dinner with my female friend and it was near her birthday and i was right on the CUSP of starting to feel differently about her. but not quite sure i was there yet. but i was getting very close.

in fact i wasnt even sure what her exact birthday was. it takes a while before someones birthday is a big deal for you.  you gotta know them at least a year.

and the next year of course i would ahve really liked to spend her bday with her but by that time we were DONE.

and now we’ve been DONE for a full YEAR after that.

i heard this song when this album came out in 1998, 18 years ago hahahaha and i was a stupid angsty high schooler listening to the weekly radio metal show. i thought the song was very catchy and epic and it was the first time i enjoyed anything like power metal.

i never listened to the whole album. i will now give it a chance hehehehe.

hmm very sleepy and tired today, the day after the nyquil. i guess thats not suprising.

cheap “skullcandy” earbuds lasted only 2 weeks. what cheap chinese crap. one ear went out then the other ear went out very quickly. one ear is bad enough and time to buy a new pair of cheap chinese throwaway garbage.

537 that is my new goal hahahaha. 537 job applications hahahaha. i get 1 interview for roughly every 21.4 applications hehehehe. and so if i want 25 interviews, then 537.

i am “only” at 386 so far.

i have been slowing down lately, getting a bit discouraged.

maybe i should contact her on her birthday hahahahahahaha. no i am just joking.

 

did SHE ever contact ME on MY birthday? HELL NO! she didnt even KNOW when my birthday was! although i kinda make it hard. you have to ask me and then mark it down on your calendar. which nobody does because they just use facebook to remember birthdays hahahaha.

but yeah at one time she was a real friend and i havent found any new friends to fill that friend gap. and i liked having that kind of person playing that kind of role in my life. i mean shit it was a two way street too, i was playing the same role in her life too.

ok  went to shitstore and bought some shitty 10 dollar sony earbuds that i HOPE will last 1 month.

listen to some of the hammerfall album, see if its any good. need more positive shit hahahaha.

was listening to george feels and he had a very sad pathetic feelsy video and i was like yep i shouldnt listen to this, this is not gonna help me. something basically how he had done nothing with the past 3 years of his life, his biggest accomplishment was not jerking off for 100 days hahahaha. in 3 fookin years. so he felt bad about that and then i felt bad too about not accomplishing anything with my life either hahaha.

well i did accomplish a bit in the past 3 years: moved from old job to new job, became close friends with that woman, pushed myself to the limit with new job, did some super amazing shit that i lose sight of now, and cant convince employers that once i was valuable hahahaha, went on road trip with old friend, fell in luv with female friend, saw 3 classic concerts, discovered trs, and then shit started going bad, rel with woman fell apart, lost job, got dumped, was in a state of deep despair for months, started a gym membership for the first time in life, lost 30 pounds, applied to 386 jobs and went on 18 interviews, got 2 new good suits. so yeah id say i accomplished more than george hahahahaha in the past 3 years. there was some epically BAD shit, as well as some pretty good shit too, but the bad shit has been what i remembered most and what i am lingering in now.

anyway POINT IS, there was plenty of good shit or not bad shit, or at least forward moment or personal improvement.

but all the good shit happened in the first half, and all the bad shit happened in the second half, so the bad shit is all i remember.

well, losing the 30 pounds is a big deal and i am doing that right now.

so is buying the suit, and doing the interviews.

but the interviews also suck because they dont lead to anything.

inherently, the interviews are a good thing and i should view them as such, rather than DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE. and saying yeah interviews a normally all right, but THESE interviews arent so good because they dont RESULT in anything.

yes in our results oriented world its difficult saying something that doesnt have any results is a good thing.

but each abortion failure of an interview hahahaha is getting me closer to my goal of 25.

and the interviews arent really abortion failures. i look all right, i sound smart, although a little nervous, i show that ive done my homework on the company, i write thank you notes, i am one of 4 finalists for a 45k job, i mean come on these are all good things.

but the overall general shame of being an unemployable neet bum is SUCH MAGNITUDE hehehehe that it casts a shadow on all the other shit.

anyway, point is, there is a DECENT AMOUNT of good stuff ive done the past 3 years…..its just overshadowed by the bad shit because the bad shit was more recent, and honestly it was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. it was probably greater magnitude than the positive stuff was positive. but there WAS still somewhat DECENT magnitude of positiveness on the positive stuff.

PLUS, we always interpret bad things worse than we interpret good things as good. in other words, really good shit WEARS OFF QUICKLY, while bad shit lingers. so we need like 5 good things to lift us up for every 1 bad thing. defeat feels much worse than victory feels good. FACT.

anyway point is george has his more positive videos and his more negative videos, and i should stay away from the neg ones. and so should he. being that we are very much alike and struggle with the same problems.

and just like him i need to focus on the positive and essentially IGNORE the negative. because its focusing on the negative and IGNORING THE POSITIVE that has gotten us in this horrible mindset. low energy, very low confidence, lazy, neet, in a rut, spinning the wheels, not trying, giving up easily, defeatist, etc.

i listened to a bit of the hammerfall and it made me want to listen to judas priest “painkiller” so i did. i guess they have similar sounding productions and the drum bit at the beginning of the album is a direct tribute to painkiller possibly. but the hammerfall is definitely a bit more “power metal” and the singer doesnt really sound like halford. which is FINE. halford is awesome, but i wanted something a bit more power metally anyway. like ridiculous, somewhat epic songs and songs about warriors and courage and all that. whereas judas priest is arguably not very power metally while at the same time influencing every power metal band….they never fully went that way themselves, because they were sorta reinventing themselves on every album.

probably iron maiden is the more power metally band.

 

THE MOTHER OF ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

aug 23

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. had a dream with small part from this tall qt young girl we used to work with. when she first came on, i was like, this girl is like a better version of that woman. prettier, younger, i should focus on her, to try to forget about that woman. who knows if she were nicer, but that woman had stopped being nice to me anyway. she seemed a LITTLE bitchy and obnoxious.

anyway the point is, ANY woman can be nice to you if they WANT, AND if a qt young woman is being NICE to you, you will forget about the other woman who was nice to you once and you cant seem to get over. its not hard or rare to be nice. they just have to be WILLING to be nice. which for me is pretty rare hahahaha.

anyway i think in the dream i was trying to muster up the courage to sit next to the qt gurl and start talking to her confidently. see if she was willing to be nice to me or a huge bitch hahahaha. ultimately i never did. well at least THAT WOMAN wasnt in the dream. and it made the point that I COULD get over her and move on from her and feel something for another woman some day, the main things is that they are young and pretty, and that they are being NICE to me. shit even a slut mudshark could get me to like her that way. an attractive woman being NICE to you goes a LONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG way. you wouldnt even believe it. but believe me. it is a VERY powerful thing that will quickly melt your heart of ice.

and yeah it does help a lot when you find the woman attractive. vs, i dunno, do i want to settle for this possibly-unacceptable level of attractiveness, she’s not very attractive at all.

yeah i really wanted to KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK on the tech job interview yesterday, but I did not. I mean i didnt do super horrible, i did about average considering, but i wish they had an hour instead of 45 minutes. cuz i was rushing through every answer, couldnt quite think straight, def lost some confidence and it showed.

well they were only interviewing 3 people not 10 people, so i have a better chance, right?

is the county that busy they have to rush interviews as quickly as possible? i dont think so. my prev employer was that busy. because we were SLAMMED all day every day and kept things LEAN. now the university i really want to get into, they had hourlong plus interviews. somewhat relaxed, or least the idea they could take as long as they wanted to interview someone, and let them talk.

i dunno, just so much that doesnt make sense, doesnt add up, and you will never make sense or get your closure, and you have to accept that some things will never make sense. just let it go.

yeah but when its your JOB to make SENSE of shit….. well do you REALLY need ot make actual sense of it, or can you just BULLSHIT something to your customer or to your Team Leader. mm hmmm.

so yeah i did not knock it out of the park. also i was just caught off guard by that weird aborted interview earlier in the day.

i mean how would a normie handle that? heh normies dont even get into these situations because they are HAVES who HAVE jobs, HAVE been gainfully employed for years, HAVE a wife who gives them some effort and loyalty. hehehehe. she might bitch and nag but she hasnt LEFT them yet.

you might hate it when she bitches and NAGS and is not nice to you…..but how would you react if she just LEFT you without a word and you never heard from her again?

be happy when she nags you because it means shes not willing to LEAVE you….yet hahahahahahahaha. oh this is horrible woman worshipping white knighting. better man up guys! be THANKFUL your wife is JUST a nag!

no the woman SHOULD be MATURE about it and realize nagging never works, its passive aggressive immature bullshit…..but there you have the unrealistic expectation that a woman should be an adult, specifically should handle conflict in a rel like an adult. this is like asking uncle adi to luv the joos hahahaha. like asking ME to luv joos hahahaha. not gonna happen. i hope it never happens hahahaha.  like asking a crusader to luv the muslim swine trying to invade his europe and rape his european women.  of course thats exactly whats happening now. but these weak pathetic feminized men are not CRUSADERS in any sense! they are literal CUCKS!

unlike a REAL cuck, i never liked being cucked, or even the suggestion of. it always made me fly into a Righteous Rage, and this is the proper response, so I’m glad I still have that.

this god damn office assistant job for the trucking company KEEPS getting posted every few weeks, open for a few days, get 400 more applications, it goes away for a few weeks, comes back and get 400 more applications…..its frustrating because i want to know what the fok they are DOING here.

maybe all the thousands of people applying are desperate and they are holding out for the Perfect Candidate. well they dont want a harvard grad, they want someone super young who is currently going to harvard. not gonna happen. so they want say maybe a second year undergrad at [local univ] who is doing a useful degree, getting 4.0, is 19 or 20 years old, has VERY good people skills, is VERY attractive, but prob want a smart man who will actually get stuff done, was an eagle scout, probably the type of go getters who go to naval academy or west point, ok how about they are big at ROTC at local university then, cuz again, if they are west point, they cant work here.

so that would be their perfect candidate then: a 20 year old halfwhite attractive tall male, eagle scout, honors student at local university, ROTC, business and or engineering, very charismatic and confident and mature.

i have sent in 2 or 3 applications to this company for this job or jobs very much like it.

maybe they have a database so they can see how many times a person applied. and if you get to like 10 or 20, then you get an interview. assuming you are not the perfect candidate described above. they havent found him yet, otherwise they would fill the position and stop posting.

or maybe they fill it, and the job is so stupid, the person quits. or is fired. and they have to hire someone again. but why not just go back to the pool of 1000 applicants? because its worth it to spend the time accepting 1000 NEW applicants so you can Cultivate the strongest pool ever? why do they NEED MOAR APPLICANTS when they aleady have like 2000????!?!?!?!?!!??!?!

it will never make sense, dont try to make sense out of it, dont get angry hahahahaha.

go for powerwalk in peak sun today, call chemical testing guy when i get back. maybe my Market Value is good enough for one call, but certainly not Phone Tag.

i mean why not just email me? I’ve had interviews set up via email, no one ever talked to me for even 1 minute.

my resume has had my correct email on it for like 10 years hahahaha. he has my email.

maybe when i send in my shit for the third time for this trucking company, which i think is a subsidiary of a very shady local trucking company that has a reputation for horrible service and very unhappy customers and is probably just a front for money laundering hahahahaha. anyway i will do something disruptive with muh cover letter and really make it jump out at them and show what a value add i am, than my usual form cover letter that its obvious i am using to apply to 500 jobs. but seriously, i modify each cover letter with statements referring to the company’s mission and vision hahaha. i really do. i look up the mission and vision statement and use some marketingspeak taken from the company’s own website. i am PASSIONATE about serving the LTL Logistics needs of your clients and being on the leading edge etc.

i would say most normies go through 5 to 10 interviews before getting a decent job. they don’t know the pain of doing 20 to 30 interviews hehehehe. a more protracted, prolonged struggle. twice the rejection, twice the time.

heh imagine if i actually approached women the way i do job searching. at least with jobs i actually submit the shit and go on interviews. with women i dont even Women Search on OK cupid or whatever, go out on dates, and get rejected. i might actually have some success if i did!

called the guy from testing company again, voice mail again. i left voice message yesterday, giving him muh email address and Mobile phone number. i am not gonna leave him a second voice mail!

but yeah that stupid fake interview at the hospital, i guess that ended up really grinding my gears and discouraging me. like how could you be MORE insulting that continually rejecting me. oh. how about finally inviting me to an interview, and then essentially aborting the interview during the first question and saying i shouldnt apply to just anything because im desperate. god damn. what did they tell the black 19 year old gurl that talked like an unprivileged savage hahahaha.  well they probably said she was just perfect for this job.

i guess in order to make 11 dollars an hour i HAVE to go to walmart or mcd’s. because the places that have Boring, Stressless 11 dollar an hour part time jobs want a very specific kind of person.

so i think about that woman a lot, not as much as i used to thank god, but i know i SHOULDNT. but i cant help myself. i think about how shes doing, what shes doing with her life, not just because i was in luv with her, but because she was an actual part of my life. this comes from being friends for 3 years. then the person is GONE, and you cant help but miss them and think of them sometimes. i wonder what so and so is doing.

i am sure she has HAD to have had a few thoughts like that about me. and then what does she tell herself about that? probably something like Oh. Sigh. That was just pathetic. i guess i hope he’s doing well but he was at such a pathetic place in his life. hes got to really work on his career and not get so heartbroken over women. i mean shit hes 35 years old, he has to get a plan for his life to accomplish something. so sad. he was a nice guy but SO SAD.

well at least ive gotten over the idea that she hates me and thinks i betrayed her!!!!!

now she just goes AW. HOW SAD. SMH. nice guy, but SO SAD. So Pathetic. I hope for his sake he moves on. Ive moved on. Im doing well. he was a mess. i hope he gets the help he needs. I couldnt deal with that. he was a good friend but could you IMAGINE me and him DATING!! PSHAW! How could he GET such a ridiculous idea! what a sad, pathetic loser. sometimes you need to Let Go of those sorts of Negative People in your life.

WHAT A WAY TO BE REMEMBERED! WAY TO BE THAT GUY hahahaha.

i mean shit. if anyone deserves to be emotionally compromised its me. dont get SO emotional about someone LIKING you. just be like welp i dont return his feelings but its not the end of the world. people get feelings for each other. just like i had feelings for those other guys. it happens. its not so ridiculous or out of bounds. we were good friends and then i guess something in him changed. its pretty understandable and unsurprising.

i dunno maybe that IS what she ultimately thought. I’LL NEVER KNOW.

i might be sad and pathetic, but i dont want to be REMEMBERED LIKE THAT by people i used to be friends with. who got to know The Real Me and saw that I wasnt totally Sad and Pathetic, but a Good Person.

i had this female friend when i was younger and i never fell in luv with her, and she was always very nice to me, and she had genuine concern and whatnot for me, wanted me to find a nice woman who didnt leave me in the lurch. but i kept picking the wrong women, getting involved with the wrong women. i guess my picker is broken.

its only 50% broken at most though! soon after i picked another woman and my female friend said yeah she’s great, it would be SO CUTEEEEEEEE if you two got together, and i was like yeah see my pickers not broken, i can find a good solid woman whos not a crazy child, yes she would be great for me wouldnt she? and i indeed liked the woman and she was nice to me too, but we never got much of a chance to hang out because we never lived less than 70 miles away, then the woman moved like 500 miles away hahahaha.  if we ever lived in the same town, i would have DEFINITELY gone all in with her.

so yeah my picker is not totally fooked. indeed i still think i picked a good woman with that woman. i just had no idea she would disappoint me THIS bad.

anyway that previous female friend, she expressed concern that i was becoming a hateful neo nazi white supremist. So I Walked It Back and said naaaaahhhhh dont worry, this is just a phase, i dont hate anybody, dont worry about it, you know i investigate all this edgy transgressive shit, dont worry.  and then i went on becoming an even more avowed racist and nazi and huhwhyte supreemist hahaha, but essentially just didnt tell her about it hahahahaha. i figured it wasn’t worth losing friends over, and she was/is a great person, and i didn’t want to push her away for something she would never understand.

anyway i hope she is doing well. she was doing some kind of masters degree at a decent skool in a big important city. she will be just fine. i mean yeah i wish she’d get married already cuz she’s not getting any younger. but I remember when she was under 21! I could never date her because she has a pozzed jooish view of dating hahahaha. but we got along as friends very well believe it or not. at the time she was in a monogamous, fairly healthy relship with a man who eventually became a fairly good friend, a great guy, i got along with him really well and had quite the mancrush on him. i would be very happy if she had gotten married to him. he was a really cool guy. he was hilarious, ridiculously smart, great taste in music, really good guitar player and singer. i wish he hadnt done his phd in total marxism! he was not a phaggy feminine whiny shitlib at all. just a very kewl guy. i wish him nothing but the best. i hope he finds a nice white wife and has many brilliant white children. when you say phd at known leftist univ in jooish theory, you think of the worst type of person. but he was honestly the best type of person, and too GOOD to do what he’s doing. but at the time i was very impressed by the Intellectual Masturbation over foucault and deleuze and i dont fooking know. zizek and adorno and marcuse and pure frankfurt skool jooish trash. i knew nothing of the frankfurt skool at the time. i just liked hanging out with Real Intellectual Philosophers! but the people I knew were honestly good, great, moral people. in hindsight its disappointing they studied the degen shit they did. but they probably didnt realize it any better than i did.

applied for 6 jobs today but after like 6 days of no job apps, my numbers are DISMAL AND ABYSMAL.

anyway i will just try to forget i met with that woman on monday and had that weird, annoying abortion of an interview. just keep applying for jobs there. in fact i applied for one there today hahahaha.

my suit looks good now, but the white dress shirt is honestly a little bit BIG. maybe i am getting rejected now because the dress shirt is a little big. suits fine now, but now the shirt is fooked up hahahaha.

or maybe they can tell muh black dress shoes are 30 dollar pieces of plastic shit hahahahaha. and i am not wearing 500 dollar italian leather shoes.

maybe my plain black hanes socks are too boring hahahaha.

they are looking at my shoes and socks hahaha.

maybe i had a stray nose hair. maybe i need a haircut. i mean i am getting close to needing one. it has been 46 days. its all on muh days since spreadsheet hahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

372 days since i sent the last email to that woman!

yes i definitely AM making progress, i dont think about her NEARLY as much, well i still think about her every day, but the thoughts seem a lot more distant, faded, not as vivid. one day i will be all emotioned out regarding her. and if i met a nice young qt gurl right now who was being nice and friendly to me, that would definitely help me forget all about that woman.

“make women good again” is just an old title i had laying around. basically meaning women were ONCE good, and with proper masculine leadership, we can raise a new generation of good women. but you leave women to their own devices, and they turn not good. they need the guidance and influence of strong, good men to stay on the good path. otherwise its pandoras box is opened. road to ruin. men don’t decompose or dissolve or entropy or DEGENERATE as naturally as women do. they dont need as much constraint. its JUST THE WAY IT IS. ITS NATURE. Nature NEEDS weak childlike stupid immature women so they can get pregnant as quickly and as much as possible. period. accept it. you dont have to like it. but accept it or become a foreveralone loveless virgin.

why not make women GREAT again? because i dont even need great. i just want GOOD. GOOD is GOOD ENOUGH for me. just good moral adults. lets get to GOOD first before we even THINK about “great.”

aug 24

yeah it is kinda infuriating to see the same jobs, same company, same location, being posted over and over again. you think, yeah i remember this job because it seemed like a decent entry level job that i could actually see myself doing, so it jumped out at me and i marked it APPLYYYYYYYY and i applied for it asap. now, 3, 4 weeks later, its back. i apply again if i can. sometimes it says ive already applied for the job. i actually prefer this because it means they arent getting duplicate people. but its like how many fookin applications do you need to get for this fookin job….unless you dont really plan on hiring anybody in the near future. then posting shit like this is like a perfect waifu teasing you and leading you on. i just wanted muh 12 dollar an hour full time data entry job, 8 to 5, close to home, no weekends!

heh. i kinda want that woman to experience some of this frustration and failure and rejection. not be making decent money. yeah but its a shitty phone calls cust serv job. yeah but shes probably a level 2 by now and doesnt need to answer phones. she can just give shitty advice to the people who do have to answer phones. “idk figure it out but dont escalate it.” “idk do the same thing youve been doing over and over again and maybe it will work this time” no matter if its been an hour on the call.

besides some of the level 2s still had to make calls and fix the super confusing stuff and then talk to the people about it.

i mean she doesnt have the brains to fix super confusing shit! shes not THAT smart! why should SHE be making 16 dollars an hour hahaha. she only has an ASSOCIATES degree in a field just as useless as mine! and from a 600000000 times less prestigious skool! and yet she is 14888888 years younger than me and doing 90000000 times better than me! even though shes a cowardly immature idiot race traitor white trash MJ addict!!!!!!

the voice of butthurt hahahaha. virgin wizard neet butthurt. well you would prob be butthurt too, is my point.

well at least i seem to be losing weight again. i dont really NEED to though! i have to cut the calories down to an unhealthy 1100 a day hahahaha. its ridiculous because i LUV food and i LUV to eat.

but yeah. sheeeeeeit. monday should have been a good day with the two interviews but it really kinda sucked and both interviews sucked. my vril was compromised by the first weird interview, then i performed shitty in the second interview, where i really really wanted to dig deep and do super well, and i did not. i mean i didnt do super bad….but just doing average or ok is really MEDIOCRE and I wanted to be SUPER GOOD. not just average, because average is not gonna get that fairly awesome job. for that job, i would totally answer the phones 50% of the shift. maybe even 60%.

heh i really SHOULD start LIFTING. they say it really IS good for testosterone, confidence, and i need those things like i need the air i breathe. because i am at a deficit. i dont have Confidence Privilege. its not part of my Head Start that confident normies get hahahahaha.

heh. really my severe lack of confidence pretty much cancels out all the white privilege i have hahahaha. white, male, good family, all the opportunities in the world. my confidence and i guess energy level and will are just THAT weak.

sheeeeeeit. if that first interview would have gone better, then the second interview might have gone better. and the second interview was the one that REALLY MATTERED. this is why i dont like 2 interviews in 1 day hahahaha. i mean at least i can say i DID it, like a real bigboy, youre not a human being if you havent done 2 interviews in 1 day, but still. i fooked up the important one and i am not happy about that.

it wasnt even a specific mistake. it was just seeming nervous and on edge and coming from a position of WEAKNESS and DESPERATION. also i struggled to think of the most in depth case of PC troubleshooting I had done. i guess i could try to meditate on that.

well at least i have been good about not looking up that woman on linkedin. well she would SEE that I visited her profile. unless she has it on limited privacy. in which case i wouldnt see her name if she visited MY profile. not gonna lie, i kinda want her to visit my profile, because it would prove ot me that she is thinking about me. as i am thinking about her every damn day and cant stop.

yeah i think about her FREQUENTLY, but the INTENSITY is definitely lower. the vividness, the power. that is honestly a signif improvement.

so yeah its kinda creepy to think about her every day…..but ive thought about her every day since it happened and at least the thoughts are less awful, less intense, less vivid, less important, less severe. tbh that is great and i am thankful for the progress. but it will still be a while before i can go a whole day without thinking of her at all! at least another year!

went to dsw shoe store, they had some good stuff on the website, but at the actual store, it sucked balls. everything was too expensive and they didnt have the things i liked on the website. i left without wasting any money hehehehe. thankfully the sales people were not aggressive and sleazy. a combination of young kids and downsized middle aged white men with masters degrees from second tier schools and 20 years of experience at second tier companies hahaha.

no the employees were fine, the store was clean and everything, they just did not match up with the website very well. i was considering getting a pair of Plain Black Crocs but they had very few Crocs, and they were brown. come on.

well time to get back on the horse. but i am thinking its gonna be more like 25 interviews rather than 20 interview before i finally get a job hahaha. at 30 i officially start getting Discouraged hahaha.

thats what i should have said to the hospital people. no, i’m not desperate, i’m DISCOURAGED. theres a difference. Actually there isnt hahahahahaha. well yes there is: discouraged dont even apply to jobs or go on interviews. so yes i AM desperate. i am just trying not to use that word.

heh. i should have never left muh job in late 2013. but me and THAT WOMAN were talking alot about jobs and she could get us in at this ridic job. i said, welp, ive been here too long and i need to force myself to do something new, and this just fell into my lap, kinda a sign from GOD, might as well listen to GOD. and then i went with her to the new job and the new job sucked and my relship with her went down in flames and the job went down in flames and now i have been a big neet loser for over a year hahahaha and cant get another job.

if i had just stayed in my comfort zone, none of this horrible shit would have happened hahahahaha.

before everything went wrong with her though, i thought well this is good. she is helping me GROW and DEVELOP and get OUT of my comfort zone and actually DO something with my life. and it turned out to be a huge shit sandwich hahaha. i wish i hadnt done it. i could still be makin 11 grand a year at the old place hahahaha.

yet if the county job called me back and said you got the job, that would change my whole life. 180. i would go from neet loser to gainfully employed winner. i would go from being too shitty for a gurl like her, to being way too good for a piece o white trash like her. its stupid our stupid jobs have such power over our lives like that. and how we view ourselves, and how OTHERS view us too.  but thats just the way it is. you can get butthurt about it and be a neet virgin loser the rest of your life, or you can accept it, and work hard to become a white winner.

never buy an epson xp 200 printer, or probably any “reasonably priced” epson printer, becuase they will totally joo you with the ink cartridges.

  1. the cartridges dont print a lot. like maybe 200 pages for 1 black cart which is 13 dollars.
  2. they only print with epson brand, not store brand made to be copatible witn epson.
  3. if you run out of blue OR yellow OR cyan, you cant even print in Black Only. even if you have a full black cart.

fook epson, those joos.

trump is getting a lot of blowback and his approval rating is probably at or near its lowest, and the media is even suggesting that hillary will win by 9 points. times are tuff. dismal.

an official story on fox news tv on the alt right. jared taylor being approached by fox joos. and of course milo phaggopolis. jared taylor is all right but milo is cancer hahaha. anyway i guess this is what they are saying are the leaders of the alt right hahaha. well we all know NATT is the TRVE leader of the alt right hahahaha.  but supposedly shillary is supposed to make a speech soon directly talking about the alt right.

i mean this is basically My Movement. its what i identify as being a part of. i consume something TRS related mostly every day.

i dont mind being lumped in with jared (tho he needs to stop cucking for da joos) but i do not want to be lumped in with that degen subverter milo. into the OVEN he goes.

contacted about phone screen by company HR. turns out woman is 9-10 years younger than me and went to alma maters Main Rival where she is a True Fan. OOSH. these are the type of idiots i am supposed to be the manager of hahaha. now i am trying to kiss the ass of Children who went to the school that our school saw as Goofus to our Gallant! kissing the ass of Idiot Children so I can get a $12 to $16 dollar an hour job hahahahaha. she didnt have to do that because she had a better resume, including internships and study abroad, so she was able to start her career immediately after college like a good successful normie. clearly she didnt have any Emotional Problems hahahahahahahaha.

http://pastebin.com/wTMfXxcF

Make Up Your Mind — Am I Overqualified Or Underqualified? via @forbes http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/08/23/make-up-your-mind-am-i-overqualified-or-underqualified/#24a6060f62e7

possibly interesting “advice.” make sure you write them a BUSINESS PAIN LETTER!!!!! i forgot about PAIN POINTS!!!!!

what happens if you cant help any businesses pain points hahahahaha.

fookin pain points. kiss mah ass.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/08/09/five-red-flags-that-scream-dont-hire-this-person/2/#509dbd4b7a7a

heh yes she IS “AN HR PERSON” hahahaha. by god these women exist. the woman who just emailed me is definitely one. the one that emails me about county job and sits in at my county job interviews is definitely one. perky, bubbly women that like to be smart college grad young professionals. shit the county hr woman is SIX years OLDER than me and she still looks GOOD! she almost looks younger than ME!

they are usually in good shape. they are usually friendly and have high verbal intelligence. but I would not trust any of these women for ONE SECOND in a Relationship.

they seem like big sluts and catladies who could rationalize anything and eventually lose interest in all but the top 1% of alpha men, probably the Upper Managers and Directors they are working to Source Talent To.

they get bachelors degrees specifically in human resources or communications or Talent Acquisition or Organizational Studies.  sometimes even from rather respectable state schools. second tier schools as opposed to third tier toilets like….. McAllen City State University or something. East Kansas City University. not a tenth tier toilet like Phoenix or something, and really, perfectly fine normie schools which I should have gone to because I could have gotten a god damn full ride scholarship. but i thought, noooooo, i can get into the PRESTIGIOUS school. meanwhile MANY people who went to that “shitty” local university were i could have gotten a full ride, are MUCH MUCH MUCCHHHHHHH more successful than me. at a much younger age hahahaha.

lotta regrets. shoulda done a lot differently. cant believe i wasted at least 33% of my life so far hahahaha.

ok i think i may end up liking the other gris album a bit better, at least early on, than their 2013 album . that bass sound is just too much to handle right now. i need more prominent guitar. and thankfully their singer sounds about as good on this 2007 album too. want something a little more blatantly balck metaly.

and DONT FORGET their 2006 or 5 album “neurasthenie” or something when they were known as niflheim (not to be confused with nifelheim hahahaha)

although 2 hourlong albums in 2 years seems like a lot…..but then they took a 6 year break. i wonder what kind of shitty jobs these guys work hahahaha. do they have degenerate tattoos. do they do drugs or drink. do they cheat on their GFs. are they neet virgins who live with their moms like me hahahahahahahaha.

i was driving yesterday and looked in the rearview and there was a 50 year old white man driving with two dogs in the car and it really looked like he was Smokin a J

good god i folded but if i had stayed in i would have gotten QUADS. 88 hole cards, no 8’s on the flop, and then turn and river were 8 and 8. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

anyway he was smokin a J and i got a good feeling from that. because he looked like a total normie and not a huge degenerate. if it were some black thug smoking a blunt, i would think DEGENERATE. GET OUT OF MUH TOWN. or some white trash covered in tattoos. but when it was a normie middle aged white guy, that was ok.

interesting reaction. so is MJ INHERENTLY degenerate? i mean its definitely risky. very few people can smoke it WITHOUT being degenerate. a lot of whites who do smoke it are degen. so i can really ADVOCATE it. except for myself. and for white winners. which i am not!!!!

also smokin it while driving is prob a bad idea. but so many Stoners do just that. smoke and drive all the damn time. I cant BELIEVE this doesnt cause ANY accidents. stoners that would be horrified at drinking and driving smoke and drive EVERY DAY.

IMHO this is wrong. i think it prob does impair your driving. of course i sm0ked and drove a decent number of times. because i was selfish and nihilistic and thought i was above the law and that i’d never get caught, just like i thought when driving DRUNK. and i drove DRUNK many times and eventually was caught. served me right. i shouldnt have driven SO drunk SO many times. but you know when you s0ke a ton of MJ and your heart is racing and it feels like you are running in a dream, quicksand, how can you possibly drive normally.

i mean yeah its probably BETTER for driving than being RAGING drunk. obviously a lot of that DUI stuff is revenue generation for the city and county. and the fines and sentences for DUI should be laxer like they were in the 70s hahahaha. and they should expunge that from your record at least.

hmmm should i go to this opeth show. last time i was going to see them was they were touring with katatonia for the heritage album. that album sucked but i like katatonia and it seemed a good idea to see both bands in this venue with some friends. we got there and it was SOLD OUT before we could get tickets. that was pretty disappointing. shit that was at least 5 years ago.

i never listened to the album they did after heritage but i hear it was a lot better. now they have this new album “sorceress” which isnt even OUT yet.

akerfeldt said some of the record was inspired by luv gone wrong, problems he had with women, but nothing in particular? i was hoping it was something in particular, like a bad breakup with his WIFE, the mother of his children. i know he got married like 10+ years ago and had some kids, but he could be divorced by now.  maybe he is a huge deadbeat and how the hell can he be a good father while touring all the time. but he doesnt tour all the time.  i dunno. i hope he’s not a deadbeat, for the sake of his children. i am sure he is not alt right or racially woke though.

but he is determined enough to make his music his career, and that is NOT easy. he does VERY well. he can support himself and his family.

but 99% of musicians are degenerates! i just want some reassurance that he is a good father, cuz thats all that matters. matters a lot more than any music hes made in the past 15 years hahahahahahaha.

now i remember when damnation came out in 2002 or 03. that was EXCITING. hahahaha.

or spine chilling moments on old albums like orchid or my arms your hearse. for a while i thought my arms your hearse was the best album ever. it is still a great album.

blackwater park. also a great album. no joke.

never did a PHONE interview before. maybe its a german thing. oh yeah its a german company that does tech stuff for cars. infotainment computers and shit. much better than the asians who do a similar thing.  i will work for whites but not yellows hahahaha. speaking of those yellows never called me back for a second interview! i was starting to warm up to the idea of that job.

it would be great to do shitty on the 15 minute phone interview and then never get invited in for an actual interview.

actually 15 minute phone interview, i can see how that could be very useful. you do get a better sense of the person when you are actually talking to them. well…..maybe. maybe. i mean…..do i do better on the phone or in person? i think for interviews…..well shit. when i was doing my old job, taking phone calls, in those circumstances, i would have rather talked to my callers face to face. then i felt they might be nicer to me. but when they are evaluating you for a job….well you want them to be nice too!

but at the same time, i feel the same information you can get from a 45 minute interview can be gotten from a 15 minute phone call. then you feel less pressure definitely.

where are all the fookin entry level 14 dollar and hour fulltime jobs? why does everything have to be a damn big important 40k or 50k job?

where are the ENTRY LEVEL jobs?

this job was described as kind of an entry level job.

fook. my confidence is just pretty low after that clusterfook of 2 bad interviews on one day.

and now i feel like i have crossed the rubicon, that i have officially been unemployed for SO LONG, that i am like CANCER to any employer. they might be able to overlook a gap of 3 months. maybe 6 months. but not a god damn YEAR.

well george feels’s dad got a job after THREE year gap. but he was a Medical Doctor in ukraine hahahaha. was he really a medical doctor tho? and why isnt george smoking legal MJ???

so i will be sitting there in the interview just thinking about THE GAP. talk about a confidence KILLER.

becomes a vicious circle. people wont hire you because the GAP is too long. then you go on interview after interview after interview. get hopes up, get discouraged. 15 interviews. 20 interviews. 25 interviews. 350 applications. 400 applications. 500 applications. 9 months. 12 months. 14 months. 16 months. see what i mean?

instead of getting hopeful, like yep keep plugging away and be determined and good things will happen, power thru those 25 interviews and you will get there eventually…….. those optimistic thoughts begin to be countered with

THE MOTHER OF ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:

THE LONGER YOU STAY UNEMPLOYED, THE WORSE YOU LOOK TO EMPLOYERS.

The LESS of a chance you have to get a job. sure, persistence is good, but not good ENOUGH to cancel out the effect of TIME, the lengthening GAP, making your value WORSE and WORSE and WORSE.

well i guess the REAL mother of all negative thoughts is, i have to K self right now hahahahaha. thank GOD i dont get that.

For me, its more like

I CANT HANDLE THIS I NEED TO QUIT MUH JOB RIGHT NOW

hahahahahahahahahaha.

thats not as bad as k’ing yourself. but you do flush an ENTIRE FOOKING YEAR of you LIFE down the CRAPPER. gone with NOTHING to show for it.

well thats not true. i have done like 40 hours of work on this job search hahahaha.

CORRECTION: i have done 33 hours of job APPLYING fron july 1 to aug 24. that does NOT count time looking for jobs, which DOES take time which i have not measured, and does not measure the 230 jobs before i started The Spreadsheet. ok, thats 230 jobs times 12.6 minutes per application, div by 60 to get hours, well there’s 48.3 hours of applications, plus 33, sheeeit thts like 81 hours of applying since april. well, march 28 i really started. almost 5 months ago hehehehe. 5 months to get 81 hours? WEAK! should be 40 hours a week every week! 160 hours a month!

well im just buttmad that people in 1975 didnt have to put in 80 hours of jobsearching jsut to find an average job.

also lets count 17 hours for 17 interviews hehehehehe. and about 40 hours for FINDING the jobs. so really i am at 137 hours hehehehe.

REALLY I should time my sessions of FINDING the jobs. JUST FINDING, NOT applying. like do it in 30 minute chunks because it is worse than mind numbing, it is mind and soul destroying hahahahaha.

 

 

YOU CANT CALL EM TRAITORS WHEN THEY NEVER HAD ANY LOYALTY TO BEGIN WITH

july 21

sheeit. gonna bite the bullet and install windows 10 already. this isnt gonna go away and its got pretty good reviews, safe to say it is rather windows 7 like, and not windows 8 like.

i mean when huge businesses innovate it SHOULD mean a better product….but it DOESNT. its always a damn gamble.

i dunno. its clearly better than windows 8. but thats not saying much. is it better than good ol windows 7?

well uhhh it will allow me to learn windows 10 in case it gets used in business hahahaha.

if it REALLY sucks i have 30 days to switch back.

but i mean microsoft will continue supporting and updating windows 7 for another few years right? just like they did with XP. they updated XP until damn 2013 or 14.

i might take a real /r/theredpill view towards women here for a few years, just real cynical and woman-hating, women are nothing but bitches and whores,

ok about 80 minutes later, have successfully upgraded to windows 10.  yeah it looks kinda dumb, i like windows 7 better hahaha but at least it saved my shit and i didnt have to reinstall everything and i could get right back into chrome and write about my neuroses and failures and shortcomings very quicky hahahaha.

ok. so just be hateful towards women. got it. down pat. you can trust me. i have been hating women for YEARS hahahaha.

i mean they are more irresponsible than ingra children. accept it, or get assmad about it. you can never change it. all you can do is be a power, authoritative, commanding LEADER of women, and unless you are willing to do that “extra” work, you will never be with a woman.

so i will be theredpill but with a few important differences: I am staunchly pro-white, i am pro-white above all else, I am basically a white nationalist, that supercedes and overrides theredpill (not to be confused with The Red Pill, hahahaha) when it needs to. also white women are needed to have white children, white families, so women are important in that regard.

you can have a good woman if she gets married young as a virgin, has several kids young before her career, and devotes herself to homeschooling those children. and by age 25 she has at least 3 young children and is doing that and has only ever been with ONE man, her husband; and she went straight from her father’s care to her husband’s care.

hard lines. NO HYMEN, NO DIAMOND hehehehe. ONE guy is too many. If youre not a virgin, youre a WHORE.

and plenty of redpill and mgtows and even more extreme woman haters would say this isn’t enough, this is SOFT, because ALL women are whores, and you shouldn’t want to have children with them, stupid goyim. just bang sluts and enjoy the decline.

well i say bang sluts too, but don’t let this sidetrack you from having children.

if you are a powerful enough man, you can afford to have children with whores and still raise them up good. look at GLORIOUS GOD EMPEROR TRUMPENFUHRER. he married a series of gold digging whores but still had many healthy, strong children. well except for his race traitor daughter hahahaha. but his sons turned out GREAT.

also I think his current marriage will last the rest of his life and that she wont try to extort him.

how did his divorces go with those other bitches? I imagine he would AGGRESSIVELY defend his assets from their treachery. did that work out? He can certainly afford top lawyers.

and who do you think has more influence on the children? the flaky bitch mother, or DONALD FOOKIN TRUMP???

Ideally he should have married more traditional women who were serious about being loyal. i think he might have got that with the current wife. hopefully. having a young son never hurts either.

also he made all his kids work in his company from a young age and gain a good work ethic. this is great.

the only place he screwed up besides marrying gold digging whores, was not keeping his daughter from marrying a j00 and damn converting to jooism. bad move don. he’s a smart guy, he HAS to be joo wise, of course he can never SAY anything. maybe he’s playing a long con here. joo the joo. his daughter can divorce the joo, take some money from him, and then marry a nice white man like her brothers hahahahahahahaha.

did the daughter have KIDS with that joo yet? cuz that would suck.

also, were his daughters huge SLUTS? that would also suck.

jeronimus/mindweapon talks about how he schooled his daughter against becoming a slut by going over the song “violet” by that whore Hole, where courtney love whines about being a broken whore. so jeronimus showed this to his daughter as a cautionary tale: don’t do this. and apparently she followed through. I hope she did.

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/49702/

i refuse to listen to the song, but here are the lyrics, well they are not good, they sound like a heroin whore wrote them hahahaha.  and i can’t get much out of them, other than once men get what they want out of women, the men stop liking you and dump you, leave you in the lurch, hahahaha.

sounds like how women have treated ME hahahahaha.

well not really. im not sure what they wanted out of me. nothing really, they just wanted me out of their lives. well they got that!

and i guess she wrote this song about a bad breakup with billy corgan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_(Hole_song)

she thought he was a “jerk” but who knows who dumped who. i certainly wouldnt blame him for dumping her!

i do blame him for fooking that crazy whore in the first place!

and kurt cobain should have known better too.

but they were all compromised cuz they were degenerates on heroin all the time.

see what drugs do? they get you mixed up with crazy whores like courtney love.

anyway even women dont like sluts. no woman wants to BE a slut….they just cant control themselves in the presence of a confident badboi.

this is exactly why strong fathers are needed.

but wont the daughter REBEL against the strict father by sneaking out and being a slut ANYWAY? she RESENTS being CONTROLLED? so the father has to double down and be even MORE strict?

maybe in some cases but hopefully not most. i dont think jeronimus was like that and his daughter turned out all right……or did she? is she actually a huge slut but he just doesnt know? almost like being CUCKED by your own DAUGHTER?

anyway its pretty clearly a crazy slut kind of telling how she became a crazy slut, so yeah i guess its a good lesson for a young girl.

but there are plenty of guys who DONT operate like this. but you just dont like them hahahaha cuz women are attracted only to power and confidence, so blindly, that they cant even differentiate GOOD confidence vs BAD confidence.

which makes SENSE, cuz it gets you pregnant QUICKLY. reproduces the species. if you picked a bad man, your baby DIES, and THAT teaches you a powerful lesson, and hopefully you pick a better man next.

and having a good father will keep you from going through that pain.

basically, if women thought long term, theyd never make babies.

i dunno. i just think women could have been DESIGNED better. Compared to women, MEN are designed WAY better. more efficient, more sensible, more reasonable. with women, it seems wasteful, like how can nature LET this waste and inefficiency continue? survival of the fittest! and this is NOT FIT! having babies with any random man!

its ingrish and it definitely gets the babies flowing. r-selection at its “finest.” most species work like this! not only is sperm cheap, but all of life itself is cheap! half of babies DIE! oh well who cares!

but a woman can only have 1 or 2 or 3 babies (most likely 1, hahaha) in 9 months! any other animal can have a damn LITTER of 20 babies in like 3 months! THATS TRUE r-selection!

i guess its best to build a strong bond with your daughter, so she grows up being a real daddy’s girl, so when she’s 18, she wouldnt THINK of doing anything that would BREAK HER DADDYS HEART.

so, company goes to recruiter so they dont get 90000 applications from the dregs of society they dont have time to sift through. pay recruiter whose job it is to sift thru them. say just bring me somebody good.

i talk to recruiter, they mention the clients name and position. they never get back to me. 2-3 months later, i see a posting from the client, for that position, getting hundreds of applications within 1 day. i just dont know what conclusions to draw from this.

flip or flop with tarek and christina. i would bang the shit of his whore wife christina. my god. such a fake blond california uptalking vocal fry skank. but a high class high maintenance skank hahaha. and she looks great despite having 2 children.

i know she’s not really blond but she seems white. HE…..only people ive ever known named tarek or anything like it have been ARABS, and he looks pretty white. what is HE????

why is she race mixing with this arab? but he looks pretty white and their children look white!

tarek el moussa? that sounds REALLY arab.

maybe HES a MIX. his arab father banged a white race traitor slut hahahaha.

well, you cant call em TRAITORS when they never had any LOYALTY in the first place.

http://thearabdailynews.com/2016/01/14/flip-or-flop-hgtv-one-of-my-favorite-shows/

ok his father was moroccan. an arab. they say his mother appears on the show but WHAT IS SHE. i would not be surprised if she was white. do arab christians race mix more than arab muslims? i heard someone say two thirds of arabs are christians. this surprised me. i would have expected no more than one third.

there are a lot more christian arabs than muslim arabs in my area, but they still act arab as fook: obnoxious, loud, rude, macho, hot headed, haggling, semitic, swarthy, overbearing, close talkers, no sense of personal space hahaha.

how many times do i have to tell you im a racist? DEAL WITH IT (sunglasses deal with it.gif)

looking for a hitler deal with it gif, cant find

linkedin can suck my dick too. shitty social network. god damn that pulse of shitty articles. girls who code. code muh dick bitches. phaggy men whining our coding camp was 98% boys, this is unacceptable, we NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CRISIS AND STOP OPPRESSING WIMMIN OUT OF STEM!!!!!

some phaggot cuck MAN saying this cringeworthy bullshit. yet he makes 70k a year as a senior whatever.

oh god now theres STEAM (not the omega virgin gayming thing) which is were Marxist Antiwhite Jooish “EDUCATORS” are trying to put “ARTS” into STEM.  put arts into stem. how degenerate can you get.

they poison everything they touch with this corruption and evil hahahaha

this is why you need to be confident and tough, because you need to be able to go out and DEAL with the real world, and not let it destroy you. be a happy warrior.

men and women are designed basically to get women pregnant as soon as possible (immed upon puberty at like age 14 or 15 or whatever) and as much as possible. that is why women act so stupid. just back in the good old days they had Responsible Adults to keep them in line. Physically Restrain them. NOW they are being REWARDED for being sluts.

men have always been “sluts” in that they will fook anything that moves. that has never changed. but women are quite like that too, in that they will be sluts to the top 10-20% of men. men, of course, will go MUCH lower, and accept the top 90% of women.

well, i kinda LIKE this “task view” and the option for adding more desktops that is available on win10.

task view is essentially an easily clickable type of alt+tab.

/r/theredpill. women are whores looking for both quick tingles as well as a meal ticket. you cant trust them. youre not SUPPOSED to trust them. YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEM.

do you need to dress them in beekeeper suits like the mudslimes?

NO, but you SHOULD dress them modestly. no skin tight clothing. no excessive skin showing. no short shorts. no tight pants. no yoga pants. no tiny little tops with milkerz hanging out. nothing too tight. no whorejeans. you can wear dadjeans. you can wear pants. just not super tight, and with a VERY HIGH WAIST. like there was huge controversy when women stopped wearing skirts and dresses. i dont care, just dont wear tight revealing pants.

skirts and dress of course should be longer and not revealing.

and i like the idea of married women covering their hair in public. wearing a Shawl or a Scarf or something.

no beekeeper suits necessary. just DRESS MODESTLY. getting sneaky about those rules will get you punished hahaha.

punishment can mainly be spanking, then head shaving or some kind of public shaming, then tattooing, and maybe exile for the worst.

well im just a spanking fetishist you say. well, maybe i am, but I am very confident that it would be a very effective form of behavior modification hahahaha.

note: i have no desire to be spanked or god forbid DOMINATED or cucked myself!

i do luv the idea of spanking a misbehaving woman though! i would have liked to spank the shit out of that woman, and then we would go on to have a luving monog tradrel.

i think i ALWAYS had a good idea of How Women Were, I was just MAD about it, i didnt want to ACCEPT it, and i wasn’t MAN enough to DEAL with it, and I WANTED to delude myself, but I could never fully fool myself.

thursday night. gonna try some nyquil tonight i think. want to try it EARLY. like 6 or 630 at the latest.

ok took the nyqui at 5:15 pm. a 75% dose which is standard for me.

its perfectly fine to go for a nice relaxing walk AFTER taking nyquil. i basically use it as a SUBSTITUTE for smokin MJ. no joke.  its just nowhere near as good.

kinda funny to apply for 15 jobs at one hospital in the course of a month and not get an interview. i have sent the MOST applications to this damn hospital. not counting all the ones that came BEFORE the spreadsheet. Mst have applied to like 30 jobs in the past cople months at this one place and its ALWAYS a rejection letter. they do send rejection emails. i get them like clockwork for all the applications i submit to this place.

for a damn place that gives you a NICOTENE test.

ivanka trump? is she the one married to the joo? was she a huge slut before marrying the joo? he doesnt seem the type to RAISE SLUTS. the don that is.

peter thiel is a phag? and a christian? wtf?

indeed job alerts. POTENTIALLY one of the most useful features of any job search site, but there seems to be bugs here: alerts not showing up after you create them, the list being 3 pages, then 4 pages, then 5 pages, you cant find the alerts youre sure you made, it just seems really sketchy for a Big Name compay like indeed.

so I think this is a real PAIN POINT for them (hahahahaha) that they simply dont want to spend the money to fix, and will HIDE behind a wall of bullshit self serve support articles and just be like clear cache cookies, try another browser, reinstall browser, restart computer, and see if its fixed. no advice on what to do if its not.

THIS is what passes for tech support. its bullshit and insulting. and its not the level 1 idiots fault. its probably not even level 2 or level 3s fault. its the fault of quality assurance for letting this shitty quality persist, and the management for not giving them the time and money to fix these Known Issues. of course the USERS dont know that they are even KNown or not. but they HAVE to be. but are they? if the company wont listen to them or wont escalate cases?

i was very frustrated when people had legitimate concerns that didnt get investigated. i mean the whole system needed a REVOLUTION.

everyones like change change change. everything rapidly changes every day. dont you realize that this shows you DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING???!?!?!?!?!?! IT LOOKS BAD TO EVERYONE.

just tell us what to say. something halfway decent. don’t make it our job to come up with a million excuses. if we’re supposed to come up with lame excuses, AT LEAST GIVE US THE EXCUSES!

really the truth is, most of the time, we cant afford to spend the time and money to do this. its just not serious enough. not urgent enough. you onyl get to see a doctor right now if youve been shot or stabbed and you are bleeding to death. if things are relatively STABLE, then they are good enough. and all customer service, despite phaggots like comcast saying shit like we care about our customers, its blatant lies, you lose even MORE respect for the company.

cuz customer service is nothing but a COST. i’m amazed they have customer service at ALL and arent like, welp you bought the product and gave us you money. ALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES. NO SERVICE.

and that’s basically what a lot of customer service really IS!

JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT!

but i know that will never happen.

women NEEEEEEEEEDDDD good fathers. a woman without a good father is a ruined woman. women are so irresponsible they will basically self destruct unless physically restrained.

so in other words, when you get involved with a woman without a good father, you are ASKING FOR TROUBLE. she might seem great for a while, but it is NOT going to end well.

all woman not having a good father might be THE biggest red flag there is, because it is the ROOT CAUSE of ALL of womens bad behavior.  sluttery, abortion, mudsharking, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible, immature.

a girl without a good father is a TICKING TIME BOMB.

just stay away from any woman who is not a raving fan of her own father. whos first words are not, he is AWESOME.

jobs that force you to ARGUE something that you dont believe in yourself. you’re agreeing with your opponent ie your customer, but you have to argue against them. how do you do this? do some real sneaky joo shit. how come they dont teach this in skool? joos run the skools hahaha. dont they WANT people to work and be tax livestock for them? doesnt that bring in more tax dollars than neets and dindus?

thats what i never understood. so you buy their votes. yeah not really. they are more likely to NOT VOTE AT ALL. and you are not making ANY MONEY off them.

if you really want to placate these people, give them MJ and pvssy. too many people like me and you have an OMEGA UPRISING!!!! hahaha jk. there will never be an omega or even beta uprising, but its a funny meme.

well, jobless thug ingras get plenty of MJ and pvssy. and the joos really do make those things readily available. by encouraging sluts to be slutty.

problem is, us omegas arent benefiting at all from all that cheap pvssy, we’re not seeing any of it, its just as hard for us to get as it was back when women were GOOD.

but it doesnt matter because we omegas will always be a tiny minority. there will never be an omega revolution. much better chance of a beta uprising. more betas out there than omegas. betas can be husbands and fathers. neets and virgins are definition omega.

omegas would LUV to be beta. shit. be nonvirgin, have wife and kid.

to an omega, beta is alpha!!!!!!!!

yep gotta luv the aphorisms. nyquil makes it difficutl to do coherent thoughts. just tired.

me posting on depression forums to my autist virgin early 20s buddy who cant get over his female friend from 5 years ago:
I understand your desire to contact the person. Thanks for sharing. Also good for not actually sending the message, I agree with others here that actually sending it would do more harm than good, and essentially be like pouring salt into the wound, torturing yourself. I have felt similarly though. I just wanted the other person to LISTEN to me, to hear my side of the story. I was willing to listen to them, how can they not be willing to listen to me, when I have so much I want to tell them. I was extremely angry and frustrated and confused at the unfairness of it all. Of course we all know life isn’t fair, but still it was extremely frustrating to be shut out by somebody when you have so much you want to tell them.

But ultimately, in the long run, I fully believe in the efficacy of no contact. It’s really been the only way I could ever “get over” anybody. Although it definitely been a struggle! I struggled SO many times with the temptation of, “If I just email her ONE more time, maybe she will understand, or at least listen to me, or respond to me, or help me get better closure.” When really my root desire was a hopeless hope that she would change her mind and decide to be with me.

Yeah, better communication on her part would have been nice, but I just know if she HAD responded, I would have found something else to obsess over, like “oh you still didn’t understand me completely. Let me write ANOTHER long email trying to explain this a little better.” Which would have turned into another pointless vicious circle.

For me it has finally been one full year of no contact and I can say I’ve made some progress, but I still think about her too much. I feel it will take at least two full years to “get over her” completely, but at least right now I can go through the motions of life and not feel completely destroyed and devasted, so I will take that as an improvement.

Five years is definitely rough. It’s hard to say what is “excessive” and what is normal here. Everybody takes different amounts of time to “get over someone.” I feel like I take longer, and that “normal” people get over people “too quickly.” I feel that when you have real feelings for someone and your heart is broken, it SHOULD take a long time to get over them. These feelings mean something, if not to them, then certainly to you! This is the power of love, in my opinion. It is not some trifling emotion that should be treated casually. It’s a big deal, in other words, and is always a long-term thing.

For me, I figured that around two years was my average. (for “getting over” someone.) So that has helped me manage my expectations and not get too worried when things seem to be moving “too slowly.”

But honestly I think five years is too long to suffer! So I definitely support you talking to a therapist if at all possible. I visit a therapist about once a month and it has been helpful putting things into perspective. Of course a huge part of depression is “cognitive distortions” where we essentially misinterpret things, put things through a very negative filter, and blow things out of proportion, and it’s definitely a struggle trying to fix that.

Also, I think that when you contacted her recently, that may have brought the pain right back to the forefront, and that contacting her again now would just be an even worse re-play of that situation, bringing even more pain back. It’s good to write the message, just don’t send it. I still do that sometimes. In the course of my regular journaling, I will feel the urge to say something to her, but knowing that I simply cannot, I address what I’m saying to her, and go on a rant. I am thankful for the sense of perspective that at least now I know that sending such a message to her would not do any good.

However, I should note that I did essentially tell her everything (or mostly everything) I wanted to tell her, in a series of long emails, that were probably regarded as creepy or pathetic or just too much, which I sent in a period of a month after our relationship ended. I am kind of glad I “got most of it out of my system” at that time…..but I still felt the urge to “scratch the itch” and get even MORE out of my system after that. Also, I have no proof that she even read those messages, let alone really understood them….and I would never get that confirmation for any future contact with her.

TL;DR: I’m glad I resisted the sometimes VERY STRONG temptation to contact her, because it would just re-awaken the pain. It really is like an addiction, as some people have mentioned, and it can be helpful to go “cold turkey.” However, it IS a very legitimate, valid, understandable desire to have the desire to be HEARD and listened to.

But that could also lead to the pitfall of, “OK, now you HEARD me, but did you really UNDERSTAND me,” and you can see how that would be a slippery slope of you being tempted to contact her again. It’s doubtful our unrequited love-recipients would ever truly be able to understand.

So yes I agree, no contact whatsoever is the best thing to do here. And this would include not looking for pictures or news about her on facebook/internet/anywhere. I deactivated my facebook and haven’t been on it in a year, and I don’t miss it. I deleted every bookmark related to her or her family, deleted every email I sent or received from her, essentially tried to delete her from my life. She had done the same thing to me, so I will just do likewise. I just wish I could have moved on from her as quickly as she moved on and forgot about me. But then I remember that love is a powerful force that shouldn’t be gotten over quickly or easily, and I respect the painful process.

We don’t do these things because they are easy, we do them because they are hard!!

I promised myself I would write a short post this time……

Good luck and good job on the no contact!!!! And keep doing what you can to find a good therapist. Even talking to them just once a month can be helpful. Also if you google “no contact” you will find a TON of information and stories on how it has helped people.

END POAST

i just did another post to my other forum buddie, a 31 year old autist virgin on a hopeless job search:
Thanks for the updates, even though it sounds like pretty bad news. 140 applicants for every job? That is interesting, I have asked myself that same question recently, and can’t find any conclusive answers. I do have an anecdote about an entry-level job in my area, paying $13 an hour, and had a well-written job description that painted the job as a good entry-level opportunity “for a college student”, and did not call for 5 years of specific experience, or was not a supervisor/manager job, and basically seemed like the perfect job for someone like me….and apparently many other people as well. The Indeed website shows how many people who have applied to a job (on some postings), and this one quickly received around 1000 applicants in under 48 hours of being posted. Of course, the stream of negative thoughts started immediately and automatically: “oh great, how am I going to beat out 999 other people.”

or, “It’s not good enough to be the top 1%. You have to be the top .01% to get anywhere in life and make $13 an hour.”

I just had my 10th interview of my current job search. All my interviews go “OK”. I don’t do BADLY, but I don’t WOW them with charismatic, electrifying confidence either. I am usually pretty nervous and end up talking too fast, and worry I sound like an “autist” or a “weirdo.” (No offense to people on the spectrum!!!! I am probably pretty close to it myself. I’m simply talking about how “normal” people perceive “awkward, anxious weirdos.”…..which is probably an unhealthy form of all-or-nothing thinking.)

Then I get angry, thinking people in 1980 didn’t go on 10-20 interviews to get one job, they didn’t send out 500-1000 applications, they “simply” finished high school and said “yep, I’m willing to work” and they got a job making average or nearly-average per capita income. (in the US, I believe this is around $28000, which I then translate to about $14 an hour. HOWEVER I am also deeply skeptical of job/employment/income statistics and how they are reported. But I can’t escape the need to measure myself against some sort of number!)

The best thing I did recently was I very reluctantly used savings to buy a modestly-priced suit, with matching jacket and pants, and had them altered to fit my weird-shaped body. Ultimately I was very happy with this decision, as it looks a LOT better than the mismatched, shabby jacket I was wearing previous. HOWEVER, I am VERY aware that this costly privilege is not available to all, but if you can scrape together ANY way to make it happen, I strongly suggest it. Especially if you have a weird-shaped body, short legs, etc, and can never find clothes that fit quite right. You will at least have a little confidence boost from dressing better for the interviews.

If you are at absolute rock bottom, you could probably get a staffing/recruiting agency to find you a job in some customer service or technical support call center. These places are revolving doors of lost, desperate souls. I was one of them once and I am trying not to become one again!

My current “Big Plan” is to try to get training in CNC Machining, which of course will involve agency, time, effort, and money. But in general I am a big fan of the skilled trades as opposed to just about anything else. This is coming from a college grad with a “useless degree” who has lost all faith in higher education (unless it’s in STEM.) Of course, higher education is all what you make of it, and I have long ago lost all faith in my own sense of power to make good things happen for myself! And I am bitter that “college/university SHOULDN’T be like that, because of the exorbitant financial cost! They really take their pound of flesh, isn’t that ENOUGH? But no, NOW you have to go broke AND show the initiative to be a real go-getter?”

anyway, that’s a bit of tangent. I just wanted to mention the idea of Skilled Trades Training in an attempt to get myself to do just this, and also solicit opinions of anyone out there who has hopefully good (but maybe bad!) stories to share about skilled trades training and how it worked / didn’t work in securing gainful employment.

But yeah it’s RIDICULOUS out there. I would just recommend setting small goals and taking baby steps. Even going to one interview is tough. I know you’ve mentioned possibly cancelling an interview because of anxiety / nervousness. I can definitely understand that! I just tell myself it’s NORMAL to be nervous for an interview. Then, of course, I criticize myself after the interview, like “jeez, they’ll never hire me, I was TOO NERVOUS and weird.” But the important part was that I went to the interview and survived. Recently I had an interview with a panel of five people and the whole thing lasted like 80 minutes. After a while, I stopped being nervous, and was like this is just absolutely RIDICULOUS. This is not an executive level job. These people all make a lot more money than this job is paying, and there’s five of them interviewing me for over an hour?!?!?!” and I almost had to laugh. I did not get the job, of course, hahahahahahaha.

There’s not really anything useful I can tell you. I am figuring I will have to survive through about 20 interviews before I get one job offer. So I have made it my goal to get those 20 interviews. It’s like the old saying of How do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.

Anyway thanks for the update, and please feel free to come in here and vent anytime!

END POAST

not like i have any authority to help these people! but i think it’s good to treat yourself as nicely and as forgivingly, as gently, as caringly, as you treat other people who are in similar pain as you are. SO TREAT YOURSELF THE SAME WAY!!!!! TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!!!!!

ok got 5 shitty job apps done. my daily average is now up to 3.32 hahaha so high. this includes days off, interview days, etc. you have to understand, it takes time to find these jobs. you have to sift through tons of jobs to find the 1% you are both qualified for and which you think you could do without K’ing yourself and which pay more than minimum wage. as you can see, i have unreasonable expectations. high entitlement, hahaha.

shooter(s) in munich germany. oh lawd i hope they are mudslim isis refugees. hard to tell from the vidya. i see a whitish arm on this one shooter. 3 shooters. well gotta be isis then.

david duke running for us senate….hey now! i am in full support of this. i would not trust duke with muh wife or daughter, but he has a great pro-white message and he is def the most well-known huhwhyte nationalist and him running for office is a pretty big deal.

i mean shit there is a huhwhyte nationalist political party but nobody cares about it. like any of the other 6000000 little parties in the US that never win anything EVER.

not so dear person:

come on. you always would talk shit about your horrible former friend, who became a crazy alcoholic. bipolar borderline alcoholic that would rather go on disability than work, and then continue drinking, and would cheat on her fiance who she pretends to luv, and he is a loser too, with his job at lame retail store. like you can get anywhere in life working at this lame retail mall store!

well what do you think of me now, who cant get a job anywhere, and now you are more successful than me, able to tough it out much better than me in our tough job and other tough jobs like it. now you are moving up while I am moving down. do you think i am a huge loser like him, like her? i remember when i used to be a good influence on you. you were right to cut those people out of your life. but at least you would respond to them when they would bitch at you when you refused to let them use you. couldnt you just respond to me? i wasnt trying to use or manipulate you! i just wanted to TALK about what was hapenign to our relationship. havent you ever had feelings for someone who didnt have feelings for you? how would you want them to dump you? would you want them to treat you like a monster for feelings you didnt choose to have?

sheeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean i would like to see DAVID DUKE FOR PRESIDENT.

I dont donate money to david duke because he’s a gambler hahahaha. But I have listened to hours of david duke and his message is on point. he is a very wise man. i even encouraged That Woman to listen to David Duke, he’s a good person to start with if you want to get an idea of the wild stuff I’m interested in.

I have donated money to TRS who technically had David Duke as a guest on fash the nation. didn’t they?

I GLADLY give MONEY to 1488 White Supremacists. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about this.

also today july 22, hit the Big 300 mark. the 300th job applied for of muh job search.

not exactly but close enough.

but i will be reduced to working at mall retail and being cheated on by a crazy alcoholic bitch hahaha.

so why was that woman friends with this girl to begin with?

because she’s passive and lonely and will take whatever friends she can get.

but she can still recognize bad influences and get them out of her life, rather than be dragged down by them.

and i hate being one of those types of peopel.

but i WASNT.

but that’s how she treated me.

but I WASNT. she just treated me that way because she didnt know what else to do. just ran away. not an uncommon response. i have run away from responsibility too. MANY times.

but yeah its a mindfook and a soulfook. i mean i USED to be a bad influence but i dont think i am any more. plus this girl just sounded obnoxious. like a total USER, like do this thing for me or were not friends anymore btich.

i would never do that to somebody. all i wanted was to TALK.

well, i wanted her to BE WITH me. but i didnt expect it. i didnt feel entitled to it. I knew it wasnt gonna happen.

breaking up is hard to do hahahaha. what are the best practices. if i ever get in another rel again, and i cant imagine ever having that connection with a person again, and say she wants to dump me, i will say BABY we are going to the THERAPIST so you can dump me the RIGHT way.

people need OUTSIDE HELP in dumping people the RIGHT way.

do they REALLY though? well, SHE sure did! a good father would have been good enough to teach her.

don’t blame her, blame her FATHER. so she wasnt a crazy slut like most fatherless girls. BELIEVE ME, her fatherlessness was something i took notice of IMMEDIATELY upon meeting her. yep, shes got no real father, watch OUT for this gurl, she’s PROBABLY a crazy slut. then i found out she really WASNT.

but her fatherlessness found different, more unexpected ways to express itself. namely, unable to deal with conflict and responsibility.

gunman shot himself. kind of a white thing to do. oh god i hope its not a right wing nationalist white guy. some racist who hates all the migrants.  only solution is to bring in more migrants! BAD germany!

neo nazi BOOTS?? wtf are you talking about?

sheeeeeit i would like to get some neo nazi boots, because my enemies already consider me a nazi, and i would probably vote for hitler anyway hahahaha. the older i get, the more i like hitler hahaha. uncle adi.

germany is FINISHED. its SAD. I dont want germany to be finished. to fall to the damn isis caliphate hehehehe.

well a country like poland will be much stronger I think. poland is not sick and dying like germany is. although they are less “wealthy”. and people in the UK HATE poles because poles are like mexicans to them, flooding into the UK and taking jobs and not speaking english. and of course i dont like seeing whites turned against whites like this. well the brexit might help with this. i mean poles can always go to france and germany. im sure they do. ideally i would make poland great again. i LUV poland, always will.

they are gonna be like, look at these crazy gun toting white racists hating other races. welcome mohammed, fook my wife and daughter please, white man go bye bye now, we’re so evil, we dont deserve to live, the world is better without whites, i cant wait until we are all one big brown mud race.

is there some way you can PAY to find the best job postings? i dont mean the ladders.com. i mean just good solid entry level 13 dollar an hour jobs that arent total bullshit and lies. that go to real actual decent average entry level jobs. there is a theory that many job postings arent even REAL, its just a SHOW to make the economy LOOK better than it actually is. smoke and mirrors. keep the unemployed from revolting.

but they’re more likely to just stop job searching and K themselves than revolt!

leave the labor force. then they dont get counted at all. which is stupid. you SHOULD count the discouraged workers/job seekers cuz it measures a very important thing.

you literally do not COUNT as unemployed if you STOP SEARCHING for a job. become a NEET.

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

hahahaha

im no prize pig myself, but these damn women act like the worst bratty CHILDREN. assuming children could fook guys and be sluts.

i’m pretty BAD, but I’m still better than these women!

They LIKE the “Drama”! where drama just means them being horrible slutty brats and breaking hearts and lying and cheating! they LIKE doing this SINFUL business! They LOVE SIN!

Like da joos, because they love sin, they are satan’s representatives on earth hahaha.

but hey, i used to love sin and degeneracy too. until i was like 26 years old.  therefore, i can’t expect any woman under 26 to be any different.

i cant believe it took me so long to wake up. but at least i did. some people are still asleep during their 30s. at least i was a few solid years before 30.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

not so dear women: you’re NOT ALLOWED to treat sex as casually as you think All Men treat it, because you can get pregnant from sex! MEN CANT!!!!!! It doesnt matter that you can just get an abortion! The issue is what your BODY is CAPABLE of! Your body CAN get pregnant! No man in the history of the world has EVER gotten pregnant!

MEN CAN”T GET PREGNANT! ONLY WOMEN CAN GET PREGNANT!

therefore, women HAVE to be more CAREFUL about sex!

YOURE WELCOME.

are all women so stupish or whorish that I NEED to mansplain such basic stuff to them.

GOD I HOPE NOT. I hope this is just a projection of my anger at HER, angry that shes out fooking guys rather than responding to me. you can fook 60000000 black guys, just respond to me . just dont treat me like a piece of GARBAGE when we were REAL friends.

This is what One Year of Getting Over It looks like hahahahaha. One Year of no contact.

it takes two years i reckon.

like a damn jail sentence. just take it one day at a time and in two years i will be finally free at last, free at last. and thankfully, unlike prison, i dont get assraped every day.

o shit why havent i been looking at CRAIGSLIST for jobs?

hey there is some promising stuff here.

but it is just weird how they DONT EVEN MENTION THE NAME OF THE COMPANY. that always bugs more. that bugs me MORE than not listing a salary range. WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY? it just seems shady as fook. they do tell you the name of the city though. oh thank you master.

sheeeeeit. 7 applications today.

you think i dont realize that adult grown up mature rels are a ALOT OF WORK? takes a lot of EFFORT to get through the good times and bad? of COURSE i realize this!

and it sucks when someone wants to give up on you, and you want to FIGHT to keep them. you wish they were willing to fight for the rel too. but they just dont luv you any more. if they ever did hahahahaha.

not only do you need to be willing to fight……but BOTH of you need to be willing to fight! DAMN!

found some guy selling MJ on craigslist.  probably not a good idea hahaha.

found a tranny skank in my town saying he/she wanted a random hot guy to piss down their throat. i can suk u off afterwards too if you want. and then showing photos of the tranny skank dressed in womens underwear and bending over. jeeeezum crow. WHAT A WORLD.

going on craigslist looking for STRANGE MEN to piss in your mouth FOR FREE, because that gets you off so much, because youre THAT fooked up.

do these people get any responses? I would like to do a documentary on these people. the desperate loser men who say HELL YEAH SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! and then document both ends of the degenerate, desperate, disgusting transaction.

maybe that woman does stuff like this hahahahaha because she has no father.

noooo there are barely any “w4m” casual encounters…..AS IT SHOULD BE.

my FAITH IN HUMANITY was AFFIRMED to see the tiny number of w4m listings. amazing that WOMEN on CRAIGSLIST could boost my confidence in human decency!

 

 

WORKING FOR FREE

april 22

if i get this new job, i guess i can tell you what my current job is. or what my previous job was. well, i have already given enough info for the astute observer, and i am too smart to EVER give the company names EVER.

i guess i could move into an apartment much closer to this job. know the perfect neighborhood. not too expensive, and filled with early 20s sluts in the party phase. It’s a SIGN!!!!

I want to bang kimmy from full house. HOW ABOUT YOU?

anyway I will be too stressed out for the next three months to bang a grill, even a drunk one. uhh may june july. well, the girls will still be partying during august and september, which are summery enough. as long as I bang one or two grills then, I can WITHSTAND a bangless winter until summer again.

WITHSTAND.

No problem mon, I can withstand many bangless YEARS and I can WITHSTAND a couple more. Although I would LIKE to bang some 18 year olds before I turn 40.

got my 4.8 miles of walking in today. NOICE. you should try to do this too. Walking 4.8 miles per day is the easiest and funnest form of exercise. Jogging is for huge f4990+5.

had a dream and this gurl i used to work with was innit. i haven’t seen her in about 2 years. she was cute but i always had an excuse, plus i was too focused on girl7, and this other girl was too stumpy, or didn’t have a good enough 4ss, bla bla bla. but occasionally she will show up in a dream and I will regret not at least trying with her, even though i didn’t even WANT to try at the time, I barely even NOTICED her.  now, she’s not cute enough that I’d Retroactively make her a numbered girl, like Girl8, who btw I might strip that number away from. anyway this other was not quite that good looking, but she is still cuter than I realized at the time, and a decent person, and well worth not just banging, but making out with, which, for average older women, is a nonstarter.

apr 23

heh back to the prayers to allay the anxiety. great old feeling, i remember it well, dat feel. although this is a bit more exciting because it is completely new. “the devil you know vs the devil you don’t” is A Thing, and in this case, I might prefer the devil I DONT know.

New Job Opp. Damn. Almost assuming I WILL get the job, interesting assumption. in the past I would go in for interviews and NEVER get the job. which make me discouraged and give up searching, which is NOT good and should NOT be mentioned, hehehe, in fact, you SHOULD say just the Opposite: “You got to fail to win, you can’t be afraid to fail, it should just make you more determined to win, to pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and try again and again until you succeed” and that’s what you should say during an interview.

now, the opposite happened with me, but since you can’t Legally PROVE Discouragement thru Concrete EVIDENCE, then you CAN lie about it, and thus lie you SHOULD.

Besides now muh communication skills are somewhat better, and when I know a person in the company, I have an edge.

so i am smart and capable, but by FAR my biggest weakness is Anxiety and Stress, Freaking Out Emotionally when Inundated With Issues At Work, turning into Deer In Headlights, one step away from Running Out Crying like a B1tch.

so you fake confidence, because they don’t know you, you can fake being a normalfag, and they don’t really know you’re a huge omega spaghetti pockets autist virgin wizard, and then in three months, you are GOLDEN as they used to say.

so i just shaved my huge UnemploymentBeard to look more presentable, professional, and employable. I enjoyed my Beard and Mourn its loss.

Heh. I would really like a BIG pay raise to compensate for the fact that the commute is TWICE as long, and goes thru many congested freeways, and goes thru Bad Urban Neighborhoods where if the car breaks down, I WILL be robbed, raped, tortured, and killed, in the Ungodly Lawless War Zone. This is not a Good Middle Class City like Chicago or New York. But a REAL city, where you see some Grim, Ugly Realities which the Posh Middle Class likes to pretend don’t even exist.

So, talk like a Smart Normalfag, use smart words and full sentences and just sound smart and confident, and talk to the people like people, and if they Push Back, then I can Push Back by saying, well LISTEN, I already HAVE a job that I’m going back to (true fact), I’m just shopping around right now. You don’t like me FINE, I’ll go back to making XY$ an hour at my CURRENT job.

heh. they don’t need to know how lazy I’ve been during my last 7 weeks of layoff.

of course last night I laid awake worrying for like 90 minutes in the dark. that is always fun.

i was thinking that, after the actual interview, to go on Shadowing current Employees for a few hours, with Management’s Permission of course. Of course they don’t want me stealing Trade Secrets. Maybe they would let me Shadow My Friend. Part of Showing That I will try to Train Myself Off The Company Clock.

Like if you need to drive a Hilo, pay an employee to train you before or after your own shift.

How much is TOO much to Work Off The Clock? What A Stupid Question! You should be working at LEAST X hours off the clock Every Single Week! And to think, the lazier employees want to make OVERTIME for that time, and you are willing to do it for FREE! Gives you a Big Advantage.

PUTTING THE M IN STEM

WARNING: THIS POST IS 4200 WORDS, AND ALSO CONTAINS POLITICALLY INCORRECT LANGUAGE.

[Edit: I have just remembered that the m in stem refers to “MATH” NOT “MEDICAL” like I had brain farted here. This brings me to the very important point that Math might be the most important part of STEM, the most fail-safe degree choice EVER. Whatever you major in, make sure it has TONS OF HARD MATH. This is probably because Math is the Basis for everything else. First Philosophy. Ontology. Without Math there is no physics, there is no science, there is no engineering.  If you can Grok Hardest Math, you WILL make Lower Middle Class Bux, GUARANTEED.  There really are no Caveats with Math the way there is with other STEs, the way there is with Health Care Careers, like the point I was making in this post, that: SURE, Being a Medical Doctor is Great, however, being a Part Time Home Health Aide Sucks, and THAT is probably where more of the health care jobs are, just the way that that’s where MOST New JOb Openings are: Part Time, Low Skill, Low Pay, even if you have Muh Education.]

monday sept 30 or so

So you know The Right Way to answer every interview question. good. So make sure you have an EXAMPLE for EVERY SINGLE ONE of those questions. Because you can answer the question, then the Employer will bounce right back with “GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE” and then you fire right back with it…….even if it is a Huge Lie, or a Small Exagerration or Fiction. Hopefully you won’t have to lie TOO much, but as I’ve said before, it IS okay to Lie A Little, like on those Example Stories where they can’t POSSIBLY check you on it.

If they CAN check you on it, simple, just don’t lie about it!

Become Comfortable with Socially Interacting with People You Hate, and Who Annoy You. Just become the Friendly Interviewer. Pretend you are doing a documentary, or Going Undercover to Get Intel. Get them talking and keep them talking by asking the Keep Em Talking type questions, getting the annoying person to talk about their annoying life. More often than not, you will come to hate them less, and, more importantly, they will come to LOVE you, meaning they will DO STUFF for you, specifically, hook you up with 18yoqts, or hook you up with upper working class fulltime employment, chief at the top of the list. Plus Humans are Social Animals, and you will feel better socializing. Just don’t let yourself be swayed by them if they have an Opposite Morality than you, or they are total degenerates. Don’t put yourself in Harm’s Way, is what I’m saying.

Like don’t make an effort if they are blatantly involved in criminal or violent or risky behavior or drugs or drinking too much!!!

I’m talking more about Average Annoying Extraverted Normalfags whose biggest flaw is they talk too loud about stupid sh1t, not sociopaths whose biggest flaw is they kill and rape and rob and steal and have absolutely no morality. What I’m saying is Extraverted Normalfags are more often than not Decent People once you get to know them.

Try to be engaged in conversation…..one hour a day? is that too much for a Working Person? Prob.

Might make the caveat here, that Customer Service related Talk for your Job and your Customers does not really count here. But if you are making Friendly Small talk with your Customers, yes, that would count. That is good practice.

So muh delicious ice cream has High Fructose Corn Syrup innit. Muh Mt Dew Code Red has HFCS innit. Muh Fruity Starburst Flave-Redz Candiez have HFCS. Is it REALLY that hard just to put plain olde SUGAR in junk food? you HAVE to make Junk Food even moar Junkier?

How much “healthier” is Sugar over Corn Syrup?

If you don’t want to get an Engineering Degree, It’s PROBABLY still a good bet At The Unholy Casino to get a Healthcare related degree, Specifically Nursing BSN, Physician Assistant, or Physical Therapy. Note: Associates Degrees in these majors are absoluetly USELESS as a Sociology Degree. You have to get bachelors at LEAST.

Putting the M in STEM amirite??? Don’t forget about the M in STEM!!

Go to the Poker Room at least Once Per Week and sit down with Five Hundred Dollars. Try to Win and Not Lose Money. If you leave with 520 dollars, you are a Huge Winner. Keep a Spreadsheet so you know EXACTLY how much you’ve won and lost over your entire lifetime Gambling career. Winning a huge 100k jackpot is worthless if you’ve lost 200k over the past 20 years. there’s gotta be programs out there that simplify this, but I’m sure you could just do it with a simple spreadsheet. Start keeping track EARLY, like as SOON as you decide you’re Serious About Gambling.

http://www.careerinfonet.org/oview2.asp?next=oview2&Level=Overall&optstatus=&jobfam=&id=1&nodeid=4&soccode=&stfips=00&ShowAll=

but see I don’t even know if Checking The Stats Helps, cuz I don’t Trust the Stats. This makes it look like “Postsecondary teachers” as well as “elementary teachers” are actually good Choices, although I can assure you. I have a huge suspicious most Postsecondary Teaching openings are Part Time Adjunct Instructor Jobs that do not provide ANY Degree ROI; and there are plenty of people with Teaching Bachelor Degrees that the best they can get is Part Time Sub Jobs. I wish the Job Openings Stats took into account FULL TIME jobs, in other words. Because I suspect at least 40%, if not way more, of these Most Job Openings, are part time crap jobs.

tues oct 1 746 am

had a very erotic dream last night. b4nged at least 4 or 5 girls. it was great. it was really raunchy and decadent and degenerate, I was just grabbing 18yoqts and being VERY dominant, gimme a bj, bend over, now do it like this, lets double check how deep my D is innit, etc, ok next, slam bam thank ya maam. Dominant and a bit ungentle, but not hateful or abusive really. they all enjoyed themselves, or at least they easily Bent Over with no complaint or Refusal, and I just went to town on 5 different girls. It was great. I enjoyed myself by Satisfying my Raging Lust for Young QTs. You! Sit on muh face! You! Sit on muh D! And they did.

mon nite successfully went to bed at 8pm, immediately after jeopardy, and was ABSOLUETLY asleep before 9 pm, thus giving me a SOLID 8 hours of sleep, which is very ideal. So that was good. felt a bit better tues morn than mon, when I had stayed up super late on sun watching breaking bad finale, talking bad, etc, and got more like 5 hours of sleep.

note to self/others, protip: Don’t F around here, go to BED immediately after jeopardy, at 8 pm, don’t stay up till 9 or 10 to finish a MOVIE. which I sorta did last week, bc I was bound and determined to “get the most” out of muh netflix and watch 4 movies per week.

I like podcasts, and I like movies. It only took me 9000000 years to realize, duh, look for some podcasts where they talk about movies. Lesson4U: look for podcasts on things that interest you, be it sports or food or math or science. Note: One of my other big interests is Society and Politics and I have listened to many podcasts on that. But that’s real dismal stuff. Movies are more Pure Fun because they’re not all about how the worlds going to hell in a handbasket.

those godforsaken job statistics. If I were an 18yo College Cultist, looking at Job Stats like I SHOULD be, then I might be led to believe being a Teacher Is A Good Career Choice, when in 2013, it’s a godawful career choice. I mean you gotta be a REAL Tryhard Top 1% Teaching Student to get a FT Teaching Job. If you’re just an Average College Student, you’ll just get a Part Time Job, Subbing, and have to go back to the Unholy Casino for your masters, and see if THAT gets you a fulltime job. And just like Everyone’s Going To College in 2013, Everyone’s ALSO going to Grad Skool. Except me, hahahahaha. I stubbornly REFUSE to TRY that hard.

a good test to tell if you’re Really Lustful for a Woman, along with The Boner Test and the Hnnng Or Hrrrmmm test: would you rather b4ng the woman in question, OR would you rather bang a really cute 18yo Transexual “Trap” girl with a Dick? I have seen a couple of those where they honestly looked like Teen Girls, except they had a D. It was almost like they were Girls Born With A D, than Born Guys trying to look like Girls. Makes you think of Medical Mysteries, and that very possibly there are Girls BORN with a D, and some of them turn out otherwise cute.

Am I saying I want to Bang Girls With A D? Nope not saying that.

Saying it another way: if the girl you’re lusting after, going boioioioing and hnnnnggggg, would you STILL lust after her if SHE had a D? If yes, then yes your lust is Real and Serious.

One More Great Life Tip: So you’re Butthurt that you’re 35 and it’s not Age Appropriate for you to Lust After 18yo’s. (Well, yes, it is.) But you know that 18yoqt’s find that SO CREEPY, and so do normalfags, that you have a VERY low chance of ever pulling an actual 18yoqt and that makes you so mad and sad!

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS, it is ABSOLUTELY appropriately for you to Go Sarging for 21 YO QTs, and it’s WORLDS less “CREEPY” for a 21 year old to be “Dating” a 35 year old man, even though there’s not really a huge difference between 18 and 21, other than the 18 yo is a BIT cuter and prob has a lower Number.

Point Is, 21 year olds are a more than acceptable substitute for 18 yos, which is great news for you as you get older and older. Thinking about this fact last night gave me considerable comfort and peace.

wed oct 2 736am

All Resumes Are, Are Stupid MARKETING.

Veteran Unemployment? Veterans need extra help “translating the useful skills they already have into their res/CV?” Veterans can’t get jobs because their RESUMES are bad? WTF. STFU, Moron. What An Idiot!

Got netflix movie and fought the temptation and went to bed again right after jeopardy, at 8 pm, for second day in row. Best Decision. SKIP THE MOVIE, GET MOAR SLEEP. Who cares if you’re wasting your $13 a month for netflix and only watch 2 or 3 movies a week instead of 4. DO IT.

Supposedly you can genlty tap some sort of pressure point or chakra on your head and it relieves Stress. It’s either near the temple on your head, or a little patch of skin under your earlobe, just under your jaw, up on your neck. Heh. saw some ridiculous movie where this guy kept doing this, but I guess it might work. anythign to relieve stress! (Aside from drugs).

Ok back to those employment points above. wanted to remember those.

At least once a month I see something on the tv news about veterans unemployment, and how vets supposed have so much of a harder time than civvies to get jobs. I have to wonder if we’re being lied to by the media and by Fedgov Statistics Departments. Common sense tells me that veterans come Pre-Loaded with tons of Skills and Value-Adds that normal civvies do not, and if anything, they would have an Advantage that borders on Unfair!

But they’re not getting HIRED because their RESUME isn’t good enough, is what I’m hearing.

Like what? Godawful Spelling and grammar mistakes that The Average High Schooler should not be making?

Or perfectly acceptable Average High Schooler caliber grammar etc but…b-but….it’s just not the Magical Top Resume, or it’s “Boring” or doesn’t “stand out.”

Heh. Kinda like my own (civilian) resume.

So I think, what’s wrong here. Either:

* Employers need to wise up and realize that Veterans are pre-loaded with skill and value

* We’re not being told the full story, and employers are compelled to hire less qualified workers over more qualified workers

* Veterans are not as Capable as I think they are, and are Just Big Unemployable Lazy Losers

* The Military does not prepare veterans for How To Write A Civilian Resume when you’re looking for a Civilian Job?

The whole f00king thing just sounds fishy as f00k to me, so I can’t possibly take the news story at face value.

Unless All Veterans are PTSD-addled Alcoholics and Drug Addicts, or Scum Of The Earth that joined the Army as a last resort to stay out of jail. BUT I thought it was actually kinda HARD to get into the military these days. Like they try to screen out complete losers like that. And then they train the person to be responsible enough to do a damn entry-level JOB, Chrissakes.

Do the vets not have Technical Skills for Today’s Knowledge Jobs, just because they don’t have a College Degree??

Like the Women who outdegree men and so thus get more of the Degree-Required Jobs than men do? Like Stupid jerkoff Human Resources and Makework, Chit Chatting At The Office Jobs?

Or is that just Muh Misogyny showing, and women are actually getting sh1tloads of STEM degrees and STEM jobs? That I KNOW is not a fact.

OK But I do kknow lots of women do the M in STEM, or at least some kind of health care related job, and All Health Care is Growing In Jobs……….But see my Job Openings Skepticism, and What If most of those Health Care Jobs are the sh1ttiest and part time ones: home health aide, medical assistant, receptionist, etc.

The NewsMedia And The Fedgov Are Not Telling The Whole Truth About College And Jobs. Don’t Believe What You Read or See.

And Add To This My Surprising Faith In The Intelligence and Capability Of The Average Human Being To Learn Most Jobs With On The Job Training. Or, in the Cases of Medical Technicians, A F00king Associates Degree Or Less. And I Believe That These Associates Degrees could simply be Translated into Paid, On-The-Job Apprenticeship Training Programs. So you just get paid less when you’re Training, maybe. Shouldn’t have to spend sh1tloads of your money or taxpayer money on 60 credits or god forbid 120 credits.

College Career CULT.. I am the Atheist, I am the Apostate, the Heretic, I will Bring It Down. Jesus Christ, Kids These Days should believe in something Real, like the Religion of Jesus Christ!! Sh1T! The College Career Cult IS a Religion, just a real destructive, bad, sh1tty religion that doesn’t come out and say it’s a religion.

So Go To Trade School. I really should just sign up for Trade School myself. Walk The Talk Already. I might. It’s mainly my own laziness I’m fighting.

Anyway. to my second point:  Resumes Are Just Marketing, and, like All Marketing, they’re nothing but stupid gay buzzwords. (So because Veterans don’t know the stupid gay buzzwords, they don’t get jobs than any moron can do. TRUTH.)

thurs oct 3 742 am

muh writing time for 10 minutes or so. hope i’m not getting KEYLOGGED!!!! prob am. well, I luv muh employer and do a Darn Good Job if I say so muhself, toot toot. toot suite.

really frustrated by this fact that you just don’t know where to find reliable facts on jobs. the top one that comes to mind is the BLS with their Jobs Report every month, which is always a News Item. BUT BLS is BS. because it counts crappy minimum wage part time jobs as Job Openings, just the same as a 40 hour a week cushy union job is One Job Opening. They should count them as like .5 or .4  Job Opening. So now instead of 1 million Job Openings, you have 500,000 Job Openings. See how that works?

A 5 hour a week “job” would be a 1 / 8 Job, for example. Eight of those would count as ONE job, not EIGHT jobs.

Just got a bottle of “THROWBACK” Mt Dew, which contains Real Sugar and not HFCS. Excited to try it out. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people prefer the taste of HFCS and admit it, some people report not wanting to drink as much, which would be a good thing! Something about HFCS makes you crave more of it, like crack, whereas, you have a little Sugar, and your Sugar Craving goes away. Not bad.

*Protip: If you have to drink soda pop, drink THROWBACK pepsi products, or MExican/European Sodas, or Organic Sodas, or something that has Real Sugar as opposed to HFCS. You will drink less, and be less of a fat4ss.

Tried to do Muh Homework when I turned on Spotify and that sucked all my Productivity for the day. Didn’t even go for my Cherished Brisk Powerwalk, and it was a real nice day. because I wanted to do muh homework, watch jeop, go to bed. So just screwed around from like 1 pm to 7:30 pm, looking at stupid internet, finding music on spotify, trying to figure out what exactly i wanted to listen to, prob did no more than 2 hours of Actual Homework in there.

* Protip: Banish Spotify along with the List of Time Wasting Websites. Can’t even listen to Music. Unless you can pick something and LEAVE it.

* I was listening to Christian Religious Medieval Singing music by Hildegard von Bingen. VERY chill. VERY uplifting. VERY good for Homework and Anything, if I didn’t keep switching back to the spotify window.

* Resumes are marketing. Resume marketing buzzwords change like the weather: a little bit every day, and a lot every three months. If you are not Redically Rebuilding Your Resume from the Ground Up Every Three Months, keeping up with these GAY ephemeral Stupid Trends, fads, gimmicks, buzzwords, the you are unemployable. apparently.

* It’s like people who always NEED to have the latest clothes fashions. spring clothes and summer clothes and you have to buy a  whole new Wardrobe every 3 months. So if you’re a veteran using a resume that is so Summer 2013 and now it’s Fall 2013, Employers will be able to tell, and then throw your res in the trash because you don’t take enough initiative to keep up with Marketing News.

* So what is THE source for finding what is newest, most cutting edge Resume Style? like deployed is a banished buzzword, but get out ahead is a current good buzzword. before it goes bad. Or in October 2013, objectives are out. In November 2013 they will be back in. so who’s the resume authority. dunno. Looking for the Time Magazine of Human REsource Retards.

Lord God, Lamb Of God, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us, grant us peace.

So thursday is muh power day, muh party day, because friday is muh Off Day, so on thursday I let it all hang out. Also on thurs I do something every week that I get pretty nervous over, and can only truly relax after it’s done.

301 pm and starting to crash, but can’t relax till about 5pm. I could honestly eat some food then and just go to sleep for the night, not even stay up for jeopardy, forget jeopardy and a movie!!!

I could go for a big4ss nap right now! thankfully I do not have to take a Math Exam or MEdical Exam or perform a Surgery or be a Lawyer arguing in front of a judge and jury. Good God.

So you hate people, and you don’t give the greatest customer service all the time, it has its ups and downs, you definitely would not be cut out for a PURE, INTENSE Cust serv job like WAITER. So can you say on your Res that you are a Professional Cust Serve Expert who gives the world’s best CustServ? YES. YES YOU CAN. Because you can give 900000000 times better customer service than an autistic spaghetti pockets virgin neet who never served one customer in his life, even if you’re still awkwarder than a normalfag. so put your customer service excellence on your res in a way that meshes with whatever the current Resume Style is that month.

If you have to learn something HARD like Calculus 10 or COmputer Science 9 or ORganic Chemistry or Statics or PLastics, do some work to find a GOOD book to do so, beyond the textbook in the class, which may very well be a piece of sh1t, and your piece of sh1t instructor doesn’t CARE. (Note: prob not ALL textbooks are POSs, but some certainly are.) If the stuff involves lots of problems, then get a book that SHOWS you how to do all sorts of problems, and actually exmplains them step by step, rather than giving you some poorly explained formula, then gives you the problems and says have at. f00k u.

or get a bunch of dummies books. I am a big fan of dummies books, despite the insulting name.

friday oct 4 2013, 12 18 pm

hello world, jes doin muh weekly post.  i can write much better than this, i am just trying to get this out as fast as possible. and now once per week is as fast as i can.

again, ideally i would just be speaking, rambling off the top of my head, and releasing those as podcasts.

get yourself a little Olympus Notecorder, which is the modern day equivalent of the little olympus micro cassette recorders, which I actually used to have. the little annoying note to self things. and then as you walk around, talk all your great ideas into that thing. then upload them to youtube. instant blog.

on my party day thursday, I struggled to stay awake to 850pm, even watching tv was too much. lites out at 855 pm, and slept till like 10 50 am. day off. 14 hours of sleep. and it’s not like i’m sleep DEPRIVED either, like normalfags, who are so busy working and studying and familying that they get under 7 hours,under 6 hours, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. If I get under 9 hours for 4 straight days, then I have to sleep FOURTEEN hours on muh day off to even begin to catch up. WTF????

just sharing. as an EXAMPLE of HYPERSOMNIA and how people’s sleep needs can be so different. not sure if this is normal for me, Or I am f00ked up, with major hypersomnia.  either way, feel bretty good now. don’t want to run errands though!
and today should try to do lights out by 930 pm, up for Werk tomorrow at like 630 am.

Drank the Throwback Mt Dew last night, Real Sugar, it actually did taste different, more “bittersweet”? I can def see how people can drink MORE of the HFCS. So maybe at a molecular level it’s no “worse” for you than sugar (or maybe it IS!!!), but IMHO the real danger is because people consume so much MORE of it. Quantity. With Sugar you drink 1 20 oz and you’re happy. With HFCS people happily drink a 2 liter per day and never stop and then die of diabetis.

What could be better than b4nging 21 yoqts? banging 18 yoqts and having a Upper Working Class Job and living in a safe, friendly neighborhood.

Heh heh. But seriously. banging 21yoqts is at least 90% as good as banging 18yoqts. Effectively just as good. With 21yo’s you don’t even NEED 18yo’s. GOOD ENOUGH.

Except 21yo’s will be much more indoctrinated into College Career Cult, and nag you more about all that. oh well. NEXT!

OK go for a brisk powerwalk, listen to something that stokes your intellectual curiosity, if you have a crappy textbook, go buy a dummies book on the subject, and also look on amazon for a thoughtful, game-changing, big picture type book by a “GURU” of the field, so you can see the real importance of why you’re learning this, and hopefully catch the intellectual curiosity bug from someone who has it in spades.

so some say the STEM crisis is a myth. There is a glut of STEM grads. perhaps more grads than jobs I’m sure. Some STEM grads do well and get a Middle Class Job, other stem grads do just as poorly as Nonstem grads, and because huge neet loser virgins. Lesson: Don’t even go to College for STEM, just f00k college, f00k the UNHOLY CASINO, and go to TRADE SKOOL so you can MAKE MONEY. MONEY IS POWER.

So you have Resumes and You have Cover Letters. You also have the EMAIL you send which acts as a Pre-Cover Letter, which may have attachments of a Cover Letter and Resume. I was going to say you could also link to one of those Online Resumes just because it makes you stand out, and prob less than half of job seekers use an online resume. but upon reflection, really, what difference does it make if you click a link or click an attachment. well, anything to make you stand out. put a big f00king swastika on your resume, have that be your whole resume, hahahahahaha.

bethenny frankel is a disgusting degenerate.

destroy your TV!

try to spend time with winners, nice people, successful people, nice people, True Real Intellectuals. And again, it sweetens the deal if they are a genuinely nice person and not an 4sshole. If you have to pick one, pick Nice People. Not all Nice People are Losers, in fact, I would say over half of Super Nice people are Winners, or at least are Winning ENOUGH (ie have an Upper MIddle Class Job, or are well on their nondiscouraged way to getting one.) Spending time around them will uplift you out of your discouragement.

ok take care of yourselves and your families. spend more time with nice people, spend less time with idiots, annoyingfags, and degenerates. don’t be such a fedorafag that you refuse to go to church to find nice people. don’t listen to women too seriously, all they care about is TV and College Career Cult and Coolness and Cutesyness. Stupid. Go for a brisk powerwalk every day of your life.

heh haven’t had a real picture in a long time. this is supposed to be a gif, hope it animates. otherwise it will be pretty stupid. yep, yer gonna have to click on the picture to see the animation. stupid wordpress.

walt jr egg gif