ok this post should be shorter, hahaha. 4000 words max
i always liked jack lemmons uptight, nerdy, supplicating, neurotic style. it seems pretty jooish but i dont know if he was a joo. varg LETS FIND OUT.wav
” He was the only child of Mildred Burgess LaRue (née Noel) and John Uhler Lemmon, Jr., the president of a doughnut company. His paternal grandmother was from an Irish immigrant family. ”
looks like not a joo. thank god hahaha.
yeah i mean i wish a bigboy FT job had picked me rather than this littlegurl PT job, it puts me back into the same conundrum i had when i was 26 except im not a young man of 26 anymore! but the good news is it lets me fix the GAP, and its also guaranteed not to give me a nervous breakdown hahaha. i just cant start any drama with WOMEN, and also i cant lose sight of the fact that i have to move on from there fairly quickly. ideally i would get a ft job with the same company.
i was very often trying to work for and win womens approval. with That Woman, at the beginning, i wasnt working at all. i mean i was doing shit, but i wasnt struggling and scheming and planning and strategizing and calculating and overthinking. we just got along veyr well and beause of that she liked me and i liked her. but not in that way. yet.
and then when i DID start liking her in that way, it all became that damn chess game where i had to figure out How To Make Her like me back. it is an exhausting struggle that i have NEVER won.
but yeah either the woman likes you or she doesnt. either she s going to going to give you a chance or not.
and even when i have gotten as far as making out or Casual Dating with a woman…….it wasnt really HARD. there was enough Natural “Chemistry” or attraction to get me THAT far……but no further.
new crowbar album november 2016 “the serpent only lies”. i always liked crowbar but my peak with them was “oddfellows rest” in 2000! great album, possib muh fav of theirs. since then i havent been following them too much just because they are always releasing albums.
yeah EXCEPT they went on a solid hiatus for like 6 years while kirk focused on down. and since down is not looking super hopeful, i am glad he is doing stuff with crowbar.
i mean crowbar is very HONEST and SINCERE and REAL and keeps it REALLY REAL and there is absolutely nothing PHONY about them.
also i really dont think kirk is a joo. some white power guy on the internet has him on a list of joos but i doubt this. mean his lifestyle is total working class white guy whitelash.
i know he had some struggles with drinking but not super hard drugs or anything. i wonder if he smokes MJ every day like a degenegro. PROBABLY hahahaha. now he just gets raging drunk less. i dont think he quit drinking altogether.
so yeah he’s not a model aryan ubermensch, just a flawed normie, and i believe his heart is in the right place, and i can respect someone who has an Instantly REcognizable Musical Style, which he does. no one else in the world sounds like this. he is Not Derivative at all. he’s been doing that for 30 years. he is all about good riffs and good songs and very honest unpretentious lyrics about being Tuff and Overcoming Adversity. how can you dislike that?
his main flaw is basically just getting sloppy drunk, or at least he used to, and i hope he doesnt anymore.
i dunno i did see down like 3 times with him and….he was one of those guys that probably could get totally fooked up and still play very well.
technically once i was face to face with him and said hello and shook his hand hahahahaha.
i was in this same situation 2 years ago with their previous album: oh i like and respect crowbar, i will always give crowbar a chance, i wish i was more familiar with their later stuff.
maybe their later stuff just isnt as GOOD hahahaha.
i dunno, on the surface it certainly doesnt seem BAD!!!!! i mean its textbook crowbar!
but yeah albums like “broken glass” and “oddfellows rest” had a MAGIC for me, and i am wondering if thats because crowbar had more MAGIC back then, or I had more magic back then when i was young and innocent.
but yeah even if i cant REMEMBER any of the last 5 crowbar albums, i will always respect what they do.
also i think kirk became RELIGIOUS with their 3rd most recent album hahahaha. like CATHOLIC i think. which is bretty kewl imho. wish he talked more about that. figured it would be more of a controversy.
anyway i just hope he is a good father to his child/ren. i know he has at least one.
i know that he was married and was divorced. was she a piece of trash? was it because he was drinking too much? what about the children?
anyway, as with all white men, i hope he is trying not to be a drunk degenerate, and is being a good father. the fact that he can write such honest music is a signal that he has good intentions.
yeah the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but they mean something to ME at least hahahaha. better to have good intentions than not, i say. its worth SOMETHING.
had dream last night that i was in AUSTRALIA with a group of people including TWO of the young qt women i used to work with when i was 26 to 30 hahaha. yeah and That Woman was a third woman of those. i only meet qt women at muh job hahahaha. thankfully That Woman was not in the dream. but woman2012 was! and also this other qt dark haired gurl that got married kinda young.
dont remember much about the dream other than near the end, i was kinda getting ostracized from the group. or i was being a dick and i ostracized myself. either way, i no longer had a chance with either of those two women. that sucked hahahaha. just wanted some cuddle and make out and hang out and romance action. i only had good intentions. i didnt want to use anybody for casual bullshit.
so i would have dated 2 girls at once? yeah but i would have been honest about it hahahaha. and if foreced to choose i would prob choose woman2012 because she had longer legs and a bigger ass hahahahahahahahahahahaha
and then tell the other gurl, SORRY for hurting your feelings, youre a good person, you wont have ANY PROBLEM finding a decent man.
they are finally coming out with the black metal lords of chaos and they are having a guy named COHEN play varg vikernes hahahahahaha. WOW. i wonder what he will say about that.
yeah i mean i will probably watch it just for fun, im sure it will be horrible. but hopefully FUN at least.
darkthrone told them NO you cant use our logo or our music. i respect anyone who can turn down free shekels like that.
but i also think, well, they have lives and families, and the shekels could HELP them!
but the movie does sound really really really jooish hehehe.
i would totally let darkthrone play a show for 100 grand tho. that is MUCH less jooish.
play the show, give the money to your kids, build a home in the country far away from the urbanite, raise 5 kids like varg in the country. be like varg. varg should play a show for 100 grand hahahaha. he could say whatever he wanted and then never get invited back because he would hopefully say a ton of antis3m1t1c and pro-white stuff!!! hahaha.
or not play ANY songs, and just give a pro-white speech for hours hahahaha. well i would want him to play songs though haha.
and all the drunk degenerates would be like boooo racism. i mean really. its pearls before swine.
so have the show be a very exclusive alt right invite only thing, where you can onyl get invited if you pass an interview process proving your pro white bona fides. then they could raise money from rich successful white pro-whites to give to varg. might not be as much as some jooish festival promoter tho hahahaha.
unrelated but this album could also be good. epic atmospheric pagan black metal with some celtic angle and great cover art hahaha. also brand new. i guess i am into super newly released music again. thanks deathspell omega hahaha.
yeah this sounds very promising, little long tho
plus i like the scots hahahaha
got those whistles and flutes and bagpipes, very nice, i will accept this in muh atmoblack hahahaha he is a nationalist but doesnt quite realize it yet hahaha.
i think me MIGHT be an american but he moved to scotland. glasgow. not sure if the guy from panopticon (austin lunn) plays drums on this like he did for saor’s last album “aura.”
no its a guy from this other scottish black metal band hehehehe.
ok andy marshall of saor does anoter scottish atmo black band called fuath, good job buddy, writing 2 albums of epid 16 minute songs, in 1 year hahaha. he also had bands before saor called askival and in vino veritas. dunno guess i just like the idea of SCOTTISH BLACK METAL hahahaha and this guy is pretty much the biggest name in it.
(shit i saw a picture of him where he had big faggy ear gauges. seriously. kids in 2016 still do this. never understand that shit. DEGENERATE. )
well with me and music, i kinda have to go where the spirit takes me. its not supposed to make sense or be logical or even necessarily good music hahahaha.
welp listened to that crowbar album, it sounded exactly like crowbar. their sense of consistency is something you make a good natured joke about at this point. hey i dont really want them to do anything different, just make good songs. well i mean for example i know kirk is a big led zeppelin fan, so why dont they write a song with some LZ influences? also i would like to see more Mellow and Clean Singing songs, because he has a GREAT clean voice, spine chilling. they started doing occasional Clean songs in 1999 hahahah so its nothing really NEW.
heh. you know whos NOT degenerate? GARTH BROOKS. thats right. i decided i should really start listening to garth brooks. hes not part of this super faggy new school of jooified “country” and he is a nice family man who retired from a super popular career to spend more time with his kids. and now that his kids are grown, he’s coming back a little bit, playing more shows.
hes a little bit SILLY of a guy but i think thats because he genuinely enjoys life in a non degen way hahaha.
and he is a very good performer.
george strait would also be acceptable to listen to hahahaha.
i thought this shit was corny and lame during the 90s, but it was probably the least degen popular music available in the nihilistic 90s, and also country music got much much much much much much much worse over the next 20 years!
ok so my new job goal is to write as many super duper detailed, epic, heroic, miraculous WORK STORIES as possible. get at LEAST 10. so i can have a RAFT of SUPER DETAILED, SUPER AWESOME STORIES chock full of specific detail in future interviews.
i had some work stories now, but the key thing that i forgot to do back then, was WRITE THEM DOWN AS SOON AS THEY HAPPEN, DAY OF, AS MANY DETAILS AS POSSIBLE, and then you can always edit it later.
and you SHOULD edit it later, to make yourself look smarter and better. the important thing is that there are a TON of details.
get at least ten of these stories and you should then be able to interview your way into a better job. maybe be worthy dating women that almost look as good as transsexual men hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey they are plenty of terrible looking transsexual men, they arent all think young feminine looking qts hahahaha, some of them actually look like big burly crowbar esque men ahhahahahaha.
i cant believe i didnt write down work stories before. i had so many of them! i know i TALKED about them into my recorder. i could do back and listen to those tapes and then write the stories out. but apparently i didnt want to do that!
it would have been better to smuggle out the case notes….but i stopped doing that a few months in.
so i could have done THAT from home, i had access to case notes from home, i could have just copied and pasted.
but i was so fried and burnt out and broken down, i couldnt even think of obvious, easy solutions like that.
shit just copy down the top 20% of interesting, weird, or detailed cases! just copy the weirdest ones!
wewlad just got down to lowest weight evar, 132 lbs. i mean its POSSIBLE i weighed less than this like 12 years ago!!!!! but not recently! and i am old as shit and at basically the lowest weight i have ever been! so thats good! i mean i could actually get away with GAINING weight at this point…..but i dont really want to do that.
USE YOUR WORDS TO COMMUNICATE. AND USE UNAMBIGUOUS WORDS, not words like “like” or “hang out.”
well at least she feels bad about breaking her bfs heart hahahaha. sounds like she feels REALLY bad about it hahaha. GOOD. YOU SHOULD hahahaha.
no sorta kidding, she shouldnt feel THIS bad if she made a good faith attempt to dump him in a sensitive way, without trying to add insult to injury.
“sounds like she didnt have much respect for your relship if she dumped you with a TEXT” hahahahahaha
yeah i THOUGHT she had MORE RESPECT for me than that
and i thought i knew her better than that.
still wanna sm0ke mad w33d.
still thinking about going to a SHADY ASS “doctor” in a dispensary on “doctor day”, saying i dont have any medical records, and that ive been getting persistent chronic pain in muh….back. carpal tunnel. then getting the card sent to a po box. then just let the po box expire once i have the card and i am buying tonnes of MJ hahahaha.
its like a prescription that NEVER RUNS OUT. that alone is rather unbelievable.
go to a doctor ONCE, have a card to buy drugs FOREVER. well, for 2 years. even still, could you imagine getting a 2 year prescription to buy as much Painkillers as you wanted? as much benzos as you wanted? for 2 full years! INCONCEIVABLE!!!!!
ok on my first day i gotta bring in donuts or bagels.
also gotta be dressed like a damn boss.
i dont think they wear suits every day there hahaha.
ok there is a 24 hour tim hortons nearby, so i can get some donuts and bring them in at 8 am hahaha
then they will judge and bullycide and abuse me for being uneducated, trump supporting and racist enough to buy such racist, hateful, bigoted donuts. donuts are what FAT BIGOTS like COPS eat.
i am being Silly but thats not far off from my usual line of Distorted Thinking, which has wrought massive anxiety and despair in muh life hahahaha
EVERYBODY HATES THE DESPERATE. nobody likes desperate people. employers, women, kool kids, winners. all shun and shame the desperate.
you know who LUVS the desperate?
so never forget that. when its lonely desperate you and the world is against you, JESUS is on your side. and LUVS you just as much as he luvs TRVMP.
hell yes i support jeff sessions for atty general. but the question is, how does he feel about joos. it could go both ways. some of these southern bigots luv joos and israhell and are not j wise at ALL.
SEE? ALL THOSE TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE HUGE WHITELASH RACISTS!!!!!
no they arent, just the alt right subset hahahaha.
and at least half of them are polite and nice like neoreactionaries. and dont use hate speech like I do hahahaha.
so yeah i do not represent trvmp, nor do i represent the average trvmp supporter, who is probably WAY less racist than me hahahahahaha.
so whats the deal with jobs where they dont even tell you the salary range during the interview, you have to get to the second interview just to get a god damn IDEA, when its not a 60k a year job were talking about, its more like 30k job. you dont GET to be so circumspect about salary for a 30k job…….well yes of course you do!
but yeah being TOUGH, thats always been a problem for me. tough situations in life that SHOULD act as a crucible to toughen me up and make me into a better, stronger man…..i always break down and become a weaker, bigger loser.
anyway WOMEN. dont have such SHALLOW relationships. take PEOPLE more seriously. PEOPLE are important, relationships are important, intimacy is important. cuddling is SUPPOSED to build intimacy, sex is REALLY supposed to build intimacy, and women have this damn carousel of men, relships, sex, cuddling, motions of intimacy, and its all a lot of things that are SUPPOSED to be important or intimate, but they treat them like NOTHING. its DISTURBING and SOCIOPATHIC hahahaha.
thats why they call it a RELATIONSHIP, because its all about RELATING to/with another person!
hmmm npi conference was yesterday. millennial woes looked like a slob in a purple t shirt and gray hoodie. looked like a real unemployable neet, looked like me lounging around the house hahahaha.
redice did a very nice stream of basically the whole event. THANK YOU redice.
i guess emily youcis got harrassed by antifa outside and sprayed with something.
i mean i dont like women in the alt right, but she has earned some cred for that i suppose.
ill still white knight more for alt right trannies than alt right women because the trannies are less of degenerate sluts than the women hahahahahah.
that proves it! Im a woman hater pure and simple and woman hating has no place in the alt right, in pro white, in a healthy society! this is MY PROBLEM that i need to FIX!
things that mean SO much to you, like cuddling, or making out, or fooking, or spending time with somebody, or having a rel with somebody, or being vulnerable and intimate with a person, it all means nothing to women! its all as meaningless as taking a dump!
i dont think they INTEND to be SOCIOPATHS! and isnt INTENT a big deal to me?
well….only to a point. if you cheat on somebody and say well i didnt MEAN to cheat on you, it just HAPPENED, one thing led to another…..yeah ok intent doesnt matter there. you have plenty of time to stop it.
i didnt intend to be a sociopath, i just acted like a sociopath in all muh relships and never tried to stop it.
nope, not all relships, just the ones with me!
i bring out the sociopath in all women hahaha.
no thats WRONG. NOT TRUE. woman2012 didnt treat me like a sociopath. That Woman didnt ALWAYS treat me like a sociopath.
havent you ever just RUN AWAY from something you couldnt handle? i ran away from College when I was 21 because I was like I Just Cant Handle This Any More. I should have done it at age 18 or 19! then immediately gotten Severe Treatment, 100000000000 mg of prozac, maybe some electroshock, then gotten a STEM/math degree at my prestigious univ, or gotten a stem/math degree at local less prestigious univ so i could stay at home and not be tempted by degeneracy, or at worst just gotten a business degree from local univ, or something. maybe being out of that environment would have been good. because i was tempted too much by the degen of MJ.
i still used MJ and alcohol when i was at home though……..
i dunno. i should gone to a shrink along with my 1000000000000 mg of prozac, and they could try to convince me to stop doing mj and alcohol. because i was too young for that shit.
ok read and understand. if you have a question, read it again until you understand. dont come looking for me to give you a free ride hahahaha. read and understand. youre an adult nao hahahaha.
If you could federally legalize MJ with a 35% tax on it……..then wouldnt it behoove the feds to legalize it? theyd make billions of dollars on the taxes, more money than they make nao from…….what? booze being legal? but that money is going to booze barons, not politicians or govt!
also if MJ were legal, MJ barons could make a ton of money, as well as the govt taking 35% taxes on it!
not that I think taxes are good, i am just saying its a way to convince govt to make it legal, because THEY love taxes, and i would be WILLING to pay HEAVY taxes to have MJ legal and easily available.
im just trying to figure out why mj is still illegal. basically, both the govt And the Superrich Elites could make a TON of money off it being legal! so why dont they?
i mean they are probably GOING this way, it will just take 10 more years, cuz govt moves SLOWWWWWLY. except when legalizing phag marriage. that happened pretty damn fast hahahaha.
i mean most people can get MJ because its easy to get for social normies. they always know at least one person. the one person i sorta know is unable to do anything at the moment, so i have to wait hahahahaha.
well dont blame THEM!
im not tho!!!!! really!!!!
heh. that was another thing i lost when i lost That Woman.
maybe she really was just shady sketchy white trash that im better off without her in my life hahahaha. i mean she certainly thought SHE was much better off without ME in her life!!!!! and im not that shitty! seriously!!!!!!!!!
maybe her mind was so clouded and she made such bad decisions because she did MJ every day.
i also made very bad decisions and ran away from responsibilities when i was 21 largely because i did mj every day!
well she was older than 21!
21 its ok to be immature. 25, you should start thinking about adulting and being mature.
of course i am over 30 and still very immature.
but you can be immature in diff WAYS!!!!!
heh. there should be a psych phd who writes a book on what happens to your Brain as you go Incel over 10 years.
i mean i dont really care about the SECS nearly as much as the general cuddling or intimacy or having a real REL with a woman.
the GFE, the EXPERIENCE of being with somebody special who is diff from a regular friend, or acquaintance, or family.
and women take these very special rels for granted, have many of them, treat them as replaceable and disposable. hahahaha.
no not all women. not even 51% of women hehehe.
hmm intradasting. no real point here other than to say he felt good when she broke no contact on his bday to wish him happy bday (she dumped him and it was very hard for him), he struggled in doing NC, and now she was sending this message, and he was like, i felt better know that i and the relship meant something to her.
now he says he doesnt want her back. i dont know about that!
hehehe his 22 yo gf has been with a LOT of guys. at age 22 i had only been with 1 gurl. at age 32 i had only been with 1 gurl.
always gets dumped by girls after a few dates or fooks and they see how INSECURE and NEEDY he is. well he is still young as shit, but this has apparently happened several times. oh well. at least hes not a virgin hahaha. maybe he needs a 10 year period of celibacy until he is 33 hahahaha.
heheh i hate thsi shit. she will dump him because oh im not good enough for such a good guy. but if this were a guy dating a gurl who was too good for him, she would dump him IMMEDIATELY and he would feel REAL bad. how do you think this bipolar OP would feel if her too good for her BF dumped her in a very insulting way, like yeah im way too good for you, you dont deserve me? she would be super devastated!
youre not allowed to be depressed if you got into a decent grad school at age 23. maybe if you got rejected and your only option was work at starbucks or get a devry mba and then become a team lead at starbucks. at best. i mean starbucks might be too good for you, they have health benefits ahhahahahahhahaha.
i also think its stupid that she was over me IMMEDIATELY, while its gonna take TWO YEARS for me to get over HER. go thru a little grief and pain. did i really mean NOTHING to you?
but yeah it doesnt bother me as much as it used to.
it doesnt mean it doesnt still bother me, almost every day!
just relatively less. and i THANK GOD for that.
well at least alt right is sticking as a word that means something to people. they use it on mainstream media to refer to far right white supremists, racists, anti semites hahahahaha. like those evil alt righters. no, not all trvmp supporters are radical racists like those ALT RIGHT people hahahaha.
so now i can be like yep im alt right, and i am looking for other alt right people to hang out with.
and people will say you deplorable racist bigot! or, hell yeah me too 1488! HAIL VICTORY!
and then we will get into a huge argument about phag enabling and religion and mj and me not being hyperborean ubermensch enough hahahahahaha.
yeah well it TOTALLY CAN take two years to get over someone. i dont think thats weird at all.
it just disgusts me that NO WOMAN goes two years without SECS. that even if they are Getting Over some other man, they are having Casual Secs with other men. All Women act like 6 months without secs is such a TRAGEDY.
NO. ITS NORMAL. TWO YEARS without secs while you get over somebody SHOULD be normal.
yeah TEN years is not normal i agree. but were not talking about 10 yers, were talking about 2 years.
anyway this thing is making me think All Women Always Treat All Relationships as Throwaway Meaningless Nothingness, and this is not true. it is CLASSIC COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS.
like good lord. just swear off of secs with men for 6 months and use the damn dildos youre always talking about.
whats the deal with trumps dead brother (i heard he was a Drunk) and his 2 sisters? i have never ever seen them.
yeah so freddy trump was a kinda black sheep and died at age 43 of drinking. one sister is a fed judge, cant believe we havent heard from her. other sister was in banking? other brother was in family business and makes an effort to stay out of attention. i guess there is no issues between any of them.
ok good enough for me.
don jr drank a little during college but apparently got his act together and is now super successful winner with beautiful white children hahahaha.
hmmm ivanka trump is actually OLDER than me. but eric trump is not hahahahaha.
don jr got married in 2005 and had FIVE children in NINE years. the bad news is that his wife is HALF J00. DAMN. COME ON DON.
well at least its not as bad as ivanka and KUSHNER. im not even sure if they should have children. just dump kushner, marry a goy, have goy children.
so yeah his wife is half jooish. and supposedly tiffany trump is dating a jooish man. COME ON. COME ON DON.
how have i not looked into this?
oh is this a sick joke, eric trumps wife lara is full joo. SMDH.
ivanka the orthodox joo and kushner have THREE children. oy vey. what a shonde. its like annuda shoah!
so all of TRVMPS grandchildren are damn MISCHLINGS.
maybe this is a kamikaze strategy to End Jooish Lines? I have too many doubts about that to think it could possibly be effective. especially using your own children. maybe they just arent joo wise. but how can they NOT be?
SON OF A BITCH.
also i wanted to ask, WHY IS POPULISM BAD?
because its racist?
because “POPULISM” is a codework for Working Class White Male Whitelash?
yeah pretty much.
now i dont like the idea of MOB RULE, but i dont think that what the MSM is getting at when they say “populist”, they just mean the scary evil racist bigot WHITELASH.
welp if i dont make something of myself in the next 4 years, thats it. thats my only hope hahahahahaha. this is white males time to shine and if i dont take advantage of it, i am done hahahaha. white male privilege alone wasnt enough to make me a productive member of society. i need EVEN MORE because i am THAT bad. and here it is with trvmp hahaha.
yeah i should order a red trvmp hat already.
and hanging out with more trump supporters and especially alt right people in real life.
wearing a trvmp hat in public hahahaha.
how much and what kinds of tax would have to be placed on MJ to make it more profitable to the Powers That Be for MJ to be legal, rather than it to be illegal? 100% tax to feds AND 100% tax to state and maybe another 100% to city?
pay $400 for a $100 bag of MJ? yeah ok i might not pay that. i wouldnt pay more than 50% tax hahahaha.
but shouldnt that be enough?
i mean how much law enforcement resources are used to arrest and prosecute MJ growers, dealers, etc?
as opposed to more dangerous drugs like meth or opiates?
no one goes to prison for MJ anymore!
so whos making money on illegal MJ? Mexican Cartels? and the US Gov wants mexican cartels to continue making money because…….this i cant figure out. The Secret Truth.
because Cartels give Fedgov billions of dollars a year? how? bribes? who exactly are they bribing? it seems like it would be lower level frontline feds would be more suspectable to bribes than top dea directors, fed judges, fed higher ups.
so YOURE TELLING ME that these feds make more money in HIGHLY illegal BRIBES from MEXICAN CARTELS, than all of the fedgov could legally make by taxing MJ 35%? 40%? 50%???
i just find it very hard to believe.