IF HAVING SECS IS EASIER THAN COMMUNICATING, THEN WHAT ELSE IS EASIER THAN COMMUNICATING?

sat sept 2

sheeeeeit MIGHT go to the fitness place today. saturday afternoon. its gonna be busy. theres gonna be arabs right next to me on the treadmill chanting, singing, praying, talking loudly in arabic. having loud annoying obnoxious phone conversations with other arabs. hehehehehe. arabs are fooking OBNOXIOUS. if they acted more like whites I wouldnt dislike them as much. white are generally not this obnoxious. in general. on average. they can still be plenty obnoxious. but i give them a little break because they are my people. there’s a race war on right now. every time a white becomes white trash, schlomo rubs his hands. and 95% of people dont know the JQ, so they just dont KNOW any better, and ignorance kind of IS a valid excuse.

anyway i would just go for 1 hour, use the treadmill, try to slowjog for 1 mile tops, listen to music and podcasts.

saturday afternoon. bet that woman is waking up next to her new boifran, all happy after being fooked hard and smoking tons of MJ hehehehe. good riddance. i still want her hahaha.

but i accept that will never ever ever ever happen. 100%. yearning for MJ is a much more realistic, doable thing. so i yearn for that equally hehe. this is really because i am socially inept. i literally don’t know anyone who can get me MJ, and i dont have the balls to seek people out. I asked the one person i could possibly ask, and that was a no unfortuantely.

i bet i could ask a bunch of people at planet fatness. all the arabs and albanians, a bunch of them def sell drvgs hehehehe. but i wouldnt trust them to give me a fair deal or to get what i really want (medium quality 1nd1c4 at a medium level price. medium, not high. medium is good enough for me, that i dont need to pay a premium for HIGH quality. medium is MORE than good enough, or at least it used to be, and i THINK it still would be.)

so yeah might do that at 1 o clock. but it will prob be busay at that time.

anyway. a few months ago the thought of her fooking and luving her new bf would have made me a lot more upset. and i would have wanted HER a lot more than i wanted MJ. but now they’re about equal hahahaha. i might even want MJ more hehehe.

granted, i dont want to RUMINATE or LINGER on the thoughts of her loving getting fooked and doing all sorts of degen with her new BFs. or just a string of casual guys.

and im just as more likely to get butthurt at HOW CAN SUCH A DEGEN MAKE SO MUCH MORE MONEY THAN ME AND BE SO MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL AT ADULTING THAN ME.

yet she has no idea of The Arc Of History. No idea how Relationships Work. Is like a Baby with a Gun. Doesn’t understand her Reproductive Role and the Responsibilities that go with it. Doesn’t know how to communicate.

WRONG. she just didnt WANT to do any of that with ME. but with a SECSY masculine man, she was MORE than WILLING to do all of those things.

willing to hang out, willing to communicate, willing to sacrifice, willing to put herself out on the line, willing to go all in or even just half in, hahaha. willing to talk, willing to listen, willing to put yourself in the other persons shoes, willing to work, willing to make an effort, willing to change, willing to compromise. willing to go to a relship shrink hahaha. willing to end the rel in a sympathetic way.

willingness is SO important.

anyway im done with her waaaaaaaaaa i accept that,  and i have finally found somewhat of a job after Much Struggle, so…..i just want to buy a bag of MJ at a fair price plus maybe 15% tip/premium/finders fee hahahaha. maybe 20%. fine 20%. buy a 100$ dollar thing for 120$. buy a 150$ thing for 180$. COME ON. how can you turn that down.

later.

well i did go to fatclub. used treadmill for 65 minutes. burned 426 calkories. it was surprisingly not too busy. didnt have to wait. there was a qt white girl near me wearing extremely tight pants that were painted on her ass. after a few minutes another qt white gurl got in front of me with extremely tight pants. this is just fooking NORMAL and they dont KNOW how SLUTTY it looks! they LOOK like theyve fooked 20+ guys, when they’ve really only fooked 10! it’s not fair to them hahahahahahahaha

yes there were some swarthy arabs and turks in there, pretty high percentage unfort, BUT on the whol the place was NOT packed, and that was my main concern. have not been there in like 7 months.

but yeah if a woman fooks 20 guys and doesnt even know their names, then yeah you are entitled to feel a little butthurt when she doesnt fook you. ok so you might not have the best of intentions but i GUARANTEE you have better intentions, on average, than some of the Tough Guys she fooks! they dont give a damn who they hurt! you at least would abide by the campsite rule! leave em as good as you found em! (tech its “leave em better than you found em.” little generous. my version is, leave em as good as you found em.

youre just lookin for some secs, you’re not trying to screw anyone over or lie to anyone. no lying or cheating or douchebaggery. just slam bam thank ya mam. i mean shit. if youre not an experienced chad normie thundercock, you’ll prob end up getting feelings for any qt gurl who fooks you even if you set out to NOT get feelings and just have casual secs like she does.

but yeah. did a slow jog at 5 mph for 1 mile. so that took 12 minutes. pathetic hahahaha. then “rested” for 5 minutes or so, then started focusing on incline, keeping it at 3.0 mph. the incline did not seem super hard until after like 8 degrees. it goes up to 15 max which is darn steep. i think i always had it on 1.0 because that is a good simulation of real life.

these women. secs. yeah. its FUN to them, but MEANINGLESS fun. like JERKING OFF is for you. when you watched porn, you didnt think of those porno whores as PEOPLE. that might make it more uncomfortable. well, normie staceys dont think of the chads they fook as people either. just pornography, this is their version of porn. and god forbid they ever confuse YOU with one of those fookable chads and you get lucky once.

you will feel wow this is so special, she will think wow this is fun, but i hope he doesnt get feelings, doesnt he understand what casual fun is? this is just chill fun. dont get feelings. its just sex. if he gets clingy, im dumping him. i dont need that.

so yeah i guess i resented women for being able to feel that way about sex. about PEOPLE.

believe me, if i were actually fooking the girls in the pornos, it would be alot easier to view them as PEOPLE. you have a sweaty naked body there staring you in the eyes, being all sweaty and stinky. how can you NOT see them as a person. a fellow human being. DAMN.

i was thinking, well, how many good friends have i had during my life. this is how close you should get to someone before you have SECS with them. get as close to them as you would a Good, Top Tier Platonic friend.

So how many of those have I had? quite a few, actually.

2 in grade school, maybe 3;

3 from high school;

a bunch during college. 6 or 7 or 8.

(so therefore we should expect that the normal woman has 8 secs partners during college. because I had 8 decent friends during that time.)

a couple after college, including That Woman because we were good friends before the shit happened. maybe 3 or 4.

so, maximum of 3 + 3 + 8 + 4 by age…..30 ehehehe. THEREFORE, its ok for women to have a max of EIGHTEEN sex partners before age 30.

yeah but i didnt have secs with ANY of these people hahahahaha.

ok lets say 17, because one of the grade school friends, i wasnt really friends with him any more by the time i Hit Puberty, ie, when people really want to become Sexually Active. Start noticing goyls and jerking off to pron.

i suppose if a woman knew their secs partners as good as i knew any of those 17 people……then i cant really be butthurt if they fooked them. because i knew those people pretty well, a lot more than what I imagine women know the men they casually fook.

so there. you are allowed a max n of 17 by age 30!

but i dont want age 30 women, i want age 25 women.

ok, so how many of those friends were by age 25 for me? vast majority. maybe 15. i really slowed down on the friendmaking after age 24, 25 or so.

Fifteen Partners by Age 25. I HAVE to allow it. shit that sounds like SO MANY though.

i was in church and there was an adorable, well-behaved, blond-haired Little Gurl near me. I felt a very Paternal, Fatherly Urge towards her. Like I want to PROTECT that Little Gurl and make sure no one hurts her. none of these degenerate BOYS who just want ONE THING.

and there was nothing secsual about it, thank god. i didnt want to molest or Touch or Fondle or Make Out with the Little Gurl. Those things seemed disgusting, as they should. however I felt that perhaps hugging or “cuddling” the girl might be appropriate insofar as the realm of Fatherly Protection and Comfort, like how a little girl would cuddle with her Father. I didn’t see anything inherently degenerate with that.

so then I thought about how Cuddling could be a completely nonsexual act. in that you could do it with people you are not sexually attracted to AT ALL. well you can do it with just about ANYONE, really.

how about this. a dark net market for your local region, so you could essentially buy buy things and then have the person drop them off at a drop spot. stealth. rather than sending Stuff through the Mail. damn.

today i thought, if its impossible for me to luv women, and I REALLY want easy casual secs, i should look at like 45 year old milfs. would prob be easier to bang than 25 year old gurls. who are hard as fookin hell to bang. i need an easier mode. maybe 45 year old women are that mode. but theres a hell of a lot more bangable 25 year old women than 45 year old women! but they might like being a Cougar to a Younger Man hahahaha. not that I would be super young, like a 25 year old Cougar Cub is super young hahahaha.

this is why i d’nate 24 dollars a year to WEEV, so he can Engineer Software to tell white faces from black faces hahahahahahahaha. glad to see george feels in the comments hehehehe. because of this i think george is on the cusp of becoming one of us hehehehe. anyway i agree with weev that we need more pro hwyte, 1433 hackers and programmers and security types. it aint me babe, becuase i FOOKING HATE COMPUTERS. I FOOKING HATE THEM. as far as fixing problems with them, or figuring out how they work, i fooking HATE all that shit. i only like using working computers to use the internets. as far as coding and programming and networks and COMPUTER CAREERS, I HATE that shit. thats why i quit muh education in computers and never continued doing it for fun. BECAUSE IT ISNT FUN AT ALL.

jan 15

good cover of Best Ulver Song here, ol Winterfylleth has been Pinging on muh radar and they do a good version of the iconic song. not much change from original other than changing the lyrics to english. which i dont mind at all.

i think of them in same vein as SAOR, ie semi “pagan” stuff from The British Isles, but seems to be more blasts here. maybe wodensthrone would be better comparison. which is perfectly fine, i appreciate wodensthrone!

heh might get banned for muh inflammatory post on jan 15 hahahaha. i was turning a corner here. from complete despair and sorrow over that woman, to having a little more energy, and anger, little hwyte boi rage hahahaha, and also i was getting back to muh racial roots thank god. that whol debacle took my focus away from where it really matters, ie my people. was so obsessed with HER I couldnt even think of MUH PEOPLE.

heres the next most recent winterfylleth album, sounds pretty good. the main criticism im seeing is that they are “samey” and “boring”, and i could see that happening, but they present a very hwyte, beautiful, awesome   A E S T H E T I C nonetheless.

dnated 5 feckin dollas to the lawyer who defended WEEV and now weev has put out a call to donate to this guy. heh i wont dnate any more but when weev vouches for the guy, that is good enough for me. i look at it as giving a tiny token for keeping weev out of prison for life. i mean he already went to prison. thinking this lawyer was key in helping get him OUT of prison.

the ol legs are a bit sore from the activity i put them thru yesterday. so i will take it easy today.

maybe we SHOULD “PRACTICE” on milf sluts. is it easier to be Confident around a 45 year old milf slut, that around a 25 year old Young Slut?  I think maybe. good chance. good hypothesis. I actually do like this idea. obviously the trick is finding a 45 year old woman who still looks good. probably the ones that do, have a vastly overinflated sense of self worth. just like the 25 year old ones hahahahahaha.

made muh famous Beef N Bacon Chili. it is packed with Protein and Fat hahahahaha. 2.25 lbs of beef, about .75 lbs of bacon (12 oz package), 2.5 cups tomato sauce, 1 cup salsa, 30 oz of beans hahahaha.

trimmed beard to level 2, have been meaning to do that. i was surprised at how much it trimmed off. do this more often so i dont look like a slob. be thankful i have a NEW JOB where i am allowed to have a NEATLY TRIMMED beard. so keep it NEATLY TRIMMED. thankfully it didnt look TOO bad before this.

did i not STRETCH properly yesterday? probably not. i stretched a LITTLE, but it was prob too little, too late.

i know ive linked this before but well worth linking again. very similar to winterfylleth, possibly even better. atmospheric and epic without being huge shoegazing pvssies. plenty of savage blasting. now with moar kvlt factor now that they are RIP. i dont usually like Full Bands but these guys do a good job. good drummer. good guitar playerz.

still think of that woman unfort. how i want to hold her sweaty pasty non potato body hahahaha and gaze into her eyes and have her smile at me and touch her for hours. how do you replace that feel. well women do it very easily. any man will do. i wish she had as fookin HARD of a time replacing ME as I am replacing her. people aren’t that god damn replaceable. they SHOUDNT be.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin_Peaks_(2017_TV_series)

so yeah the “third season” of twin peaks IS happening, it IS directed and written by david lynch, and I SHOULD be legit excited for this.

watched some teasers, not much there, other than to hint DIS GON BE GOOD. pretty much all the main people who arent dead. angelo badalamenti is not dead and is doing music. david lynch is not dead thank GOD. but he does look old AF and i hope he’s quit smoking. he is absolutely ridiculous but he never sold out to the J’s as much as other holywood people hehehe.

maybe david lynch did something big in the past couple years and i missed it because i have not been paying attention to movies.

nope, nothing.

anyway i could see myself getting back into movies again. but its a lot harder to do Unpozzed movies or TV than unpozzed music because of all the damn (((people))) involved. theres ALWAYS a you know who in there.

but yeah. that woman. damn. i dont WANT to start something new with a new woman. i wanted things to work out with HER. we already HAD something. i dont WANT to find somebody new. the special feelies i had, they were for HER. and that we had built something together. and i got to know her nice and slowly over a period of several years, not some whirlwind clusterfook of meeting and fooking and dating and hanging out and breaking up and sorrow and jealousy and bitterness that starts and ends in a period of like 3 months, and you never really KNEW the person.

i dont want to go through that with anyone. i want to get to know someone gradually. like i did with her. there was really nothing SUDDEN there. except for the ending. i didnt except the Bottom To Fall Out as suddenly as it did. even me going from “no feelings” to “feelings” was a gradual process that started with me really Facing The Feelings, and considering the feelings. Giving the feelings a chance.

and the idea of meeting some 45 year old slut on tinder, banging her within 2 dates, i dont like when things begin like that. i dont like people who begin things like that. but i am increasingly open to the idea of casual sex with sluts. provided i dont GET feelings for them. i havent got feelings for a slut in like 9 years…..but funny things can happen when you hang out with or bang a gurl. it triggers feelings. that they dont get because theyve been through this SO MANY TIMES.

i luv these. see, it happens ALL THE TIME. male falls in LUV with their female friend. and I would argue, the closer of friends they are, the more likely he is to fall in luv with her. if they are “best friends”, then it’s pretty much 100% gonna happen. not if, but when.  NEVER FORGET THIS.

thankfully reddit did not tell him what an evil person he is. and many people say give yourself some space because when you have feelings , you are not ready to be just friends yet. NO SHIT. I thought this was common sense. yep he needs lots and lots of space.

hehehe well at least i am slightly better than that, i have had 10+ jobs in muh life hahahaha.  and I keep meticulous records of everything my fam gives me, and how much I give back to them, and I continually try to increase the % of what i give them hehehehe. cuz yeah i suppose fam is a bit enabling, but i feel appropriate guilt and shame imho and make a good faith effort to pull some weight and give back, plus if i were kicked out i would prob die or K self or have to suck dick, and its probably better to be a damn mooching neet than SUCKING DICK ON THE STREETS.

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NOT EVEN MOST WOMEN ARE EVIL CHILDREN

nov 11

sheeeeeeeeeeeit LEONARD COHEN died. age 82. not sure what. he came out with that new song/album a few months ago. out of all the famous singers who died recently, LC is by far the one I liked the most. I was/am an actual literal serious LC FAN. I have seen LC live. TWICE! I have spent hours listening to and fully enjoying LC, respecting an admiring him. I know he was old and obviously wouldnt live forever, and his health seemed to be declining even with that. he did not have long in other words. and here it happened.

ive listened to him less the past few years, and have been trying to keep his JOOISHNESS in mind critically, but he was still prob muh fav JOO. and now that he is gone it would be a lot easier for me to push the button and send them all back to their homeland hahahaha.

i still think he was a good guy. i just didnt like that his profound songs, lyrics, philosophy had to be somehow TAINTED with jooishness.

i mean i dont think he was a typical antiwhite joo by any means.

he died on MONDAY and we only heard about it on THURSDAY? well thats more than fair. i would just hate for him to be pressured to make an anti trump statement during his last day of life hahahaha. who knows, he probably did before hahaha.

cant find cause of death. i mean it doesnt really matter, i just want to know if he secretly had CANCER like david bowie.

sheeeeeeeeit now i gotta listen to his latest album released 1 month ago. i heard one song from it and i didnt love it.

unfort i had a dream about That Woman last night so i am thinking about that.

also that she knows that I am a big cohen fan so when she hears about his death she will think of me unless she is just THAT dense, 50 50 chance there hahaha.

basically how can any big LC fan be a total betraying piece of shit? she would think if she was smart and mature, which she is not hahaha.

like LC, i have lived for years blaming myself for hurting and disappointing someone i luved, totally being a coward. this is kinda how LC viewed himself too. disappointed in himself for being a coward who hurt the people he luved. i totally know that feel.

anyway he captures that guilt and Vulnerability very well, all real fans know this.

anyway the dream: in the dream i finally received my long awaited Long Email from her. she actually never appeared in the dream, just the email.

the email was nice and long. but it did not have her name on it, and it was in my Spam folder, and I easily could have missed it because it was buried among 6000000 emails in my spam folder. (not realistic, i check and empty spam every day and there is never more than 4 emails in there due to how often i check it)

i read the email and while i was glad she was finally communicating with me, it was frustrating. i think she apologized for shutting down. but she spent a lot of time talking about her new bf. and how she had to go out and be young and stupid for a while, dating around, euphemisms for being a casual sex slut. then she finally met this guy who she cant even explain. on paper he sounds horrible: immature, unfriendly, he’s even more emotionally sensitive than me or even YOU (meaning me!), grumpy, stubborn, but I just saw something in him and now I am so happy.

(that made me angry and be like yeah but i am better than that! hes even MORE emotional than me? why couldnt you just pick ME instead? why go out and be a slut and then end up with a guy whos like me, but even WORSE? why not contact me earlier and give me a chance? I still luv you!)

so yeah my ultimate feeling after getting the letter was frustration, not really any greater closure, but a reawakened desire to try to beg her to come to me, pleeeease think about dating me, please give me a chance, you’re dating an emotional, short, grumpy, awkward guy, i am all those things too, but i am trying to become a better man though! and i would luv you unconditionally!

so yeah the whole feeling was like, this doesnt make me feel much better, this wasnt the closure i was looking for, she didnt talk enough about the stuff i wanted her to talk about (apologizing, dont blame yourself, youre a great guy) and talked too much about stuff i didnt want to hear about (new emo boifran, slutting it up.)

and she said, you absolutely need to have no contact with me in order to get over this, we cant talk again for like a YEAR. and just go out there and meet new people. I did! good people, bad people, just any new people. youll meet a few shitty people but eventually you will meet a great person and then you will get over me!

so that was technically good, becuase yeah thats exactly what i need to do, and that was her saying, theres no chance between me and you.

mainly i was angry because i was like, overall, she doesnt’ really GET it. this isnt the letter i wanted.

but that made it easier for me to dislike her and to see how Incompatible we were, so thats kinda good tho.

but it also sucked to bring all the feelings back to the surface again, to remind me that i still wanted her. i had a strong urge to reply and try to persuade her like a game of chess. i still want you.

so yeah. basically it means that a letter from her wouldn’t do a ton of good at this late date. its too late hahahaha.

but technically i wouldnt mind DISliking her more. or an apology, an admission of her guilt, and her saying it wasnt my fault.

so yeah. i guess an email wouldnt be all bad. because i HATE being misunderstood, and not listened to, not given a chance to defend myself, and having someone i luv, hate me forever.

but yeah i dont need stupid dreams bringing HER back to the fore, when there are much more important things happeneing in the world!

trump victory!

leonard cohen dying!

and all i can think of now is, well when she hears about LC dying, she might think of ME and maybe try to contact me!

sheeeeit shes prob so busy working, making money, succeeding, and being in luv and fookin new bf’s, to ever hear about LC or remember anything about him.

i mean she could even have a CHILD by now hahahaha. thats how long i havent seen her.

she is SO MUCH OVER ME, and I am not really enough over her at all.

i mean i get good days and bad days, and had a couple bad days re her recently.

also, my good days are worse than normies bad days hahahaha.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/told-him-my-true-feelings-and-now-its-truly-awkward-0

good advice from communist alice. it takes courage to confess feelings. open direct communication is the best way forward. he doesnt want to reject you as a person.

thats something thats not covered in these talks. when you confess feelings for a friend, the “norm” is they are like, i dont feel that way, but i dont want to lose your friendship, you are valuable to me as a friend, and then you say, well yeah its complicated! but some space would be nice, can we agree on some space, i mean i wish you well tho.

but from her i got YOU BEATRAYED ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!!!!

which left me devastated. but i didnt really get that though. i just got nothing.

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/friends-partners-possible

again, just have a direct conversation, with no warnings of this could really really really blow up horribly.

which leads me to believe that blowing up THAT horribly is not normal.

ie, SHE DEFINITELY OVERREACTED BIGLY.

which doesnt mean i wasnt a coward, i def was.

but it takes a lot of courage to do this, AND she overreacted WAY too much, even for a WOMAN.

women are not that bad, white women voted for TRUMP. white women voted for trump. white women are not degen garbage who fook dogs and negros. at least 53% of white women are good hahahaha.

ok call to job int in 2 weeks from stupid hospital. yes THAT hospital. this is for an afternoon shift job with no benefits (casual) and which will be lucky to get 12 an hour. oh well. hopefully they can at least have the decency to give me an actual interview!!!!!!!!

instead of me showing up at 830 am, them saying you would be bored with this job, why dont you try applying for something that would be a better FIT for you, dont look desperate, this job isnt for you, we here at this hospital look at the types of jobs you apply to, you should really apply for something thats a better fit for you, good luck, buh bye.

goddam k1k3s hahahaha.

no you cant just APPLY for one of the 4000 new trump administration jobs. i checked hahaha.

forced self to eat less cereal this morning than i would normally eat.

fookin portion control!

stupid computer. hard drives. never had a hard drive fail. WHY did it fail? was i using the computer too much? i did use it a lot.

but its also been making a weird clicking and humming noise for like 2 months. which i wasnt sure was the hard drive but now i am much more sure thats what it was. cuz the beeping came from the same place.

root cause for hard drive failure. we dont know why your hard drive broke and you lost all your files hahaha.

well my most important files are all on The Cloud. i am really just losing a bunch of music files i downloaded. thats about it. really not bad.

leonard cohen. well he fell in luv many times, even more than i did, and was able to turn his profound feels into classic, timeless songs that will last hundreds of years. i do not have that talent hahahaha. just this blog hahahaha. this blog is my “hallelujah” hahahaha. my “suzanne” and all that shit. so long marianne. im your man. first we take manhattan. take this waltz. dance me to the end of luv. great song, i dont care that some joos say its about the h0l0h04x, its still beautiful. bird on a wire. you know what song i like is sing another song boys. everybody knows hahaha. a great newer song is “alexandra leaving.”  heart with no companion. the future. all that shit. joan of arc. avalanche. chelsea hotel. famous blue raincoat. lover lover lover. all great songs hahaha.

you gotta be a goddam POLITICIAN to CAMPAIGN why you are the BEST candidate for this 11 dollar an hour job. you cant just say the right things, you gotta really sell yourself and convince people. SHE couldnt do that! but she gets a good job just because she doesnt have a GAP like a NEET hahahaha.

hehehe. hey i had an offer for a tech support call center help desk tier 1 job myself, for good money. but i turned it down because i was too SCARED and COWARDLY.  i was like, its not worf it m8.

one thing i got better at is giving clients bad news. give a brief story of specific example when you were bad, then what you did, seek out mentorship, read books, watched youtube, here’s the top 3 things i learned, and here’s a specific story of when i got good at giving the bad news. of our company doesnt want to spend the money to fix our broken equipment hahahaha.

anyway i am real bad with these specific stories. i have a few but they are just not good enough. i SHOULD have written them down while i was THERE. to make them as DETAILED and EPIC and HEROIC as possible. spin them so they have a better ending of we just ignored the person because there case was too hard and expensive to solve, so we gave them the runaround until they stopped calling, because the person who did know how to help them just didnt want to, and we dont have access to the secret information in their head. job security. dont tell anybody anything and sure as hell dont write it down. and then dont help the people who are begging you to help them, becuase they dont even know you can help them.

but yeah now got the 28th interview lined up. not nearly as excited about this job, but welp the PIPELINE hasnt been so full lately hehe.

HONESTLY. why cant the skool just hire me already.

got like FOUR rej emails yesterday for various jobs. and less than half of places actually send rej emails. so what does that tell you. i rarely even APPLY for 4 jobs a day anymore. 3 or 4 on a GOOD day. 0 or 1 on a bad day hahaha.

ok applied for hospital job on the slow computer. great job, entry level data entry thing with very short description. prob get rejected as i always do for these hospital jobs hehe.

took some nyquil. always a good time there. wish we had legal mj. maybe in 2018 election. why not 2017? i thought the state could technically do something like that at ANY time.

but good luck getting Normal People out when there is not a presidential election! like for local elections, no one ever comes out.

even in the big 2016 election, only 55% of eligible people voted. tons of people were just not registered or just too lazy to vote.

i agree that i am too lazy and dont DESERVE to vote, but thats NOT what these people are thinking, they are just too lazy and uncaring to vote. i vote because i know i have to make use of this power (which i dont deserve, but i have anyway) to keep The Enemy From Winning. that much i can do.

im not proud of how i acted and some days i REALLY blame myself, but the FACT, the FINAL FACT, the VERDICT, is, SHE OVERREACTED BIGLY hehehehe. women tend to overreact and she overreacted on top of an overreaction. so that is on her, and i shouldnt and cannot blame myself for that. like i MADE her do that.

nov 12

yeah basically i thought even though our rel was In Trouble, that I was entitled to, that i had EARNED THE RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF.

how can you so easily throw me away, make me dead to you and you dead to me? we knew each other for 3 years!!!! Ive earned the right to defend myself against what you’ve charged me with! so lets have a damn trial! lets sit down and talk and present our cases before the judge and jury! i am confident enough to represent myself as my own attorney. you can get an attorney too if you like.

well then we would have to hire a judge and jury. that would be too expensive. finding an impartial group of people to make a decision on something that onyl matters to ONE person, me.

so yeah a Trial would have been NICE for me…..but its an expensive bourgeois LUXURY to have a trial.

no ones ENTITLED to a trial hahahaha.

your trial, my funeral hahahahahahahaha

just spending money like water this week and its not even xmas hahaha.

so yeah. i thought she would be willing to give me a TRIAL. LET ME DEFEND MYSELF. LISTEN TO ME. again thats all part of the Natural, Beautiful Complexity of being Thrown Away. it is a flower with many petals hahahaha.

i mean yeah. when a person can just Switch It Off, so 180, thats a Red Flag that you are not compatible with them.

of course compatibility is a jooish lie hahahahaha. its not about compatibility, its about WILLINGNESS TO WORK.

yeah well she wasnt WILLING TO WORK EITHER.

16 months later, 480 days later, still thinking about this. well, 500 is a nice round number like 100% is hahahaha.

leonard cohen. whose the white leonard cohen. LC was a great man but his CYNICISM and DESPAIR and PESSIMISM was so TYPICALLY Jooish. i am all those things too, and i dont like that jooishness in me, but it comes from living in a jooish culture and world. i dont want to be this way hahahaha. the world made me this way. my goy heart innately rejects it.

not to say ALL of cohens stuff was pessimistic! but he also wasnt willing to reject his own jooishness. he had a good sense of being a joo. well, few joos do not. they just say, well im not religious, we dont go to temple, we’re basically white. except when it comes to evil racist white privilege and granny dying in muh holocaust, then they are 6000000% jooish.

heh all the cohen fans are also antitrump. and i said, well if a person is a cohen fan they’re prob good people. hahahaha. no they are shitlib antiwhites hahaha. i might be the only trump supporting cohen fan in the world.  now, trump supporting cohen fans, i guarantee you THEY are good people hahahaha. great intersectionality there.

ghoul doxxing himself damn. yeah i am jelly he is a handsome nonnevergf chad, but its good for our people, and it takes courage to do this. i mean his real name hasnt come out, but its just a damn matter of time now.

i mean hows he ever gonna get a job as a phd now? thats what i worry about.

well he could prob get a job at a community college, which is seen as BENEATH the majority of phds…….but i can verify that its NOT beneath a sizable minority of them hahahaha. and i think ghoul would appreciate the chance to actually influence real people. i mean the CC is the great equalizer A LOTTTTTTTTTT more than some bourge university is, i realize that, and im sure ghoul realizes that.

white women voted for trump. white women voted for trump hahahaha. my knee-jerk reaction against white women is BAD, negative, a reflex i want to change. i get Stankface and think, these disgusting negro fooking sluts. these stupid annoying children. emily youcis, get the fook out of here, i dont want any annoying sluts in muh alt right white movement.

i would never hurt or abuse a woman, but my GOD do i TALK SHIT about them NONSTOP. my first reflex is to talk MAD shit about women. and i wish it werent hahahaha.

maybe if i met emily youcis in person and had a 1 on 1 conversation with her i wouldnt dislike her so much hahahaha.

but now im like, ha. women. these bandwagon jumpers. she’s just doing this because its edgy. she’ll be gone in ONE YEAR. I’ve been pro-white for six years hahahahah and just getting deeper.

its SAD that my FIRST REACTION to white women is one of dislike, negativity.

bbbbut im in a woman hating phase right now, it will pass.

i will be in a woman hating phase until i get over HER, which will take 2 full years hahahaha.

so if i am still hating women in july 2017, then i should work on that hahahaha. that is my deadline hehehe.

but yeah i can convince myself that white women arent all bad (i dont really care about nonwhite women, they can ALL be degen pigs, disgusting animals, and i just dont care, because theyre not “My Women.”) when i remind myself, 53% of white women voted for trump hahahaha. i mean thats a powerful Logic Bomb hehehehe.

basically, Not All Women, and Not Even MOST Women, would Heartless Hurt Me Deeply. Not Even MOST Women would have disgusting casual negro sex.

that is my Positive, non pessimistic mantra for the day haha. NOT EVEN MOST WOMEN. are evil children. or just destructive bratty out of control children, 50 foot baby with 600000000 machine guns.

come on. just pay a person to do what you dont want to do. it doesnt even have to be a professional. just hire the dr nick of relship counselors hahaha. pay tyrone off the street 20 bucks for crack to be a messenger of bad news. hey i dont like giving bad news either.

applied for 3 jobs. called one thing “payroll clerk” in cover letter even though official name is “payroll assistant.” WHOOPS auto disqualified! this is the same company i really really really wanted the IT job at. a health care company with good reputation. i also applied for a financial job at that same time which they mentioned in the IT interview, i said I’d be happy with either but was 60 40 into the IT job re better fit. i was reallllllly hoping to get the job. got nothing. also did not even get interview for financial job. NOW i just applied for payroll job at this company. i KNOW they are growing like wildfire because they told me that at the interview. they plan to double in size in 2 years.

applied for PT general office clerk job at health care “business” company. have applied for this SAME job like 4 or 5 times, ALWAYS get rejected. then it opens again a month later, then i apply again. get rejected again. well, sometimes its a FT version of basically the same job. diff req numbers each time so i COUNT it on muh sheet as a new job. numbers up.

onyl spent 178 hours on Job Search. Maybe i need to spend at least 500 hahahaha.

i would much rather just pay the 2100 dollars that these hours are worth at 12 dollars an hour rate and have someone else do this work for me hehehehe.

just all so fookin retarded. i cant help but feel if i were like 22 years old instead of 10ish years older than that, they would be more willing to hire me and i wouldnt have to do 28 goddam interviews.

god damn j1zz burping cvnt.

well did good today on calories at least. and technically on job apps, got 4 done. beating the avg of 3 hahaha.

i mean sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean TRY to give me the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. 2.7 years, you think you’d be “entitled” to the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. this might not be the worst case scenario. maybe he wasnt a huge liar. maybe thats why he was always trying to hang out. maybe thats what he said in those emails i deleted. maybe i shouldnt ahve overreacted so much. yeah i know he overreacted too but what would i do if i started liking a friend? i mean yeah thsi is an uncomfortable conversation, but he’s not a bad guy, he means well, we were good friends once, i’ll send my mom, or a mutual friend, or a shrink, or pay a black crack bum 20 bucks, to be the bringer of bad news for me.

the fact that she couldnt do ANY of that tells me that she was ANGRY and HATEFUL towards me and WANTED to PUNISH me for HURTING her.

but yeah i’ll never know. going down that rabbit hole again. wouldnt be going down it if i had some MJ, or a JOB, or other women to hang out with, or more friends to hang out with. i mean i have acquaintances who will prob go to the bar tonight…..but i dont really want to go to the bar! but i should go to the bar just to be social right?

yeah but its so loud and packed you cant even TALK to anyone or HEAR anyone. you cant be social when you literally have to scream in someones ear. is it that bad that i avoid these sort of situations? why cant i just go to someones house and play vidya and games and MJ and we can talk at a normal volume and actually hear each other?

but i feel ashamed showing myself when i dont have a job.

and i havent had a job in 16 months hahahaha.

well, i am ok with doing my weekly thing tho.

sooo……do i want to do that thing on saturday night then?

well i mean….i dunno. i wish there were other social options other than the bar, or that social game. for example, a friend i could just hang out with at a home, play vidya, play games, watch tv, take mj hahahaha. MAYBE take mj. i am lacking friends that i am close enough to do that sort of stuff with. to actually have relaxed banter. my other acquaintences are big on sports and tv, i dont know shit about sports and tv. i try to talk about it but i cant get very far. its HARD WORK hahahaha.

when you go down from 36 waist to 34 and have to switch from L underoos to M hahahaha. and XL t shirts to L.

 

 

 

 

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN

oct 5 2016

sheeeeeeit.

ok. got up and prepared for day like responsible man: shower, shave, breakfast, brush and floss, tied tie, now i am just waiting until i leave in 53 minutes to drive to interview starting at 2pm.

tell them at interview today that if it get the job at the “bank” uhhhh i have to take it. that is the one with int on upcoming tues that i am all excited about hehe. i mean it is a patently better job, better pay, prob better benefits, closer, i’d be an idiot not to. any non-failing business would agree with me hehehe.

leave for interview in 13 minutes. all dressed up atm. ready to go. try not to diaerrhoea.

shirt is def too big. pants are….not too small but they are “slim fit” unfort, so they will ALWAYS feel a little weird. i honestly could not find an ok looking blue suit that was not slim fit. it was the price i had to pay.

yeah just the idea that you need 100% accuracy and no errors, the job is, this NEEDS to be PERFECT, not 99.9%, but 100%, every time, your job is to make sure its PERFECT. ok i get that. but what i dont get is that asking a more experienced person to SIGN OFF on this is considered time wasting and hand holding and youre fired. NO. it should be Best Practices and Standard Operating Procedure to have a “Team Lead” Sign Off on your work.

oh golly gee i dont know what im doing but i hope its right because our paying client needs this airplane door to be 100% or else it will fly off at 140000 feet and 500 passengers will get sucked out the door to their deaths hahahaha.

or this bridge will fall apart and 1000 people will die and its on YOUR hands, lowly level 1 guy, not the Master Engineer who YOU thought “should” “sign off” on such an important project. no hes got better things to do like get drunk at lunch and look at Prep The Bull and Trap Porn on his work computer and make 4 times as much as you.

later

welp did my interview. it was kinda ridiculous but not in a horrible way. mainly the guy double booked his interviews for 2 people at the same time, there was a white man also dressed in a nice suit, but he seemed about 5 years older than me.  but healthy and regenerate looking hahaha. very healthy weight. anyway this other manager decided he would essentially do the interview with me, so i started talking to him, he was an all right guy, but then it was like ok lets see if the original manager is ready to talk to you now. so i ultimately talked to TWO managers one after the other and the whole thing took like 1 hour 40 minutes. thankfully both guys were nice and the company and job actually seemed all right EXCEPT there is a kind of sales/incentive pay structure, but there is a damn 13 week training program and starting at 17 dollars an hour at that time, so…..thats pretty good. the guy said the guys here were very “BLUE COLLAR” and i said thats great, I come from a blue collar family and have a Thick Skin to handle Bantz and F-Bombs hahahahaha.

i said all the right marketing bullshit about the companys culture and values and bla bla bla.

there were some times when i stumbled and sounded like an autist, similarly to how i did yesterday, but just like the person yesterday, they didnt jump on me for it or even seem to care. so i spilled the spaghetti a couple times, NO BIG DEAL. and that is ultimately pretty encouraging.

there was a sales office right there and they are hiring sales people too. i said my background was more geared towards Service Technician than Sales per se, although I DO have very good Communication and People skills and like to Educate people hahhahahahahaha.

but they also emphasized they are an Ethical company and do not try to sell people things they dont need. Which could be BS, but I said, Good, because I’m a very ethical guy and I wouldn’t want to sell people things they really don’t need. which is NOT BS!!!!!!!

well i have been so busy interviewing i missed the deadline for a few jobs to apply hehe. have to keep a PIPELINE going hahahahahahaha.

one thing i did like about the job today was that they had a lot of training. a LOT of training. 13 weeks. they said a lot of guys were confident at 8 weeks and said let me get out there, the the company wanted to err on the side of caution. and make sure people passed tests and got certified for jobs where certification was not Legally Mandatory.

now they could just be bullshitting to sell the job to me…..but its pretty good bullshit! shit yeah tell me more about how you make sure your people are fully trained.

since it does get into incentive based shit after training, i asked if any of the people really struggled with that. the manager said everyone is doing well and reaching goals. and these are salty technicians and not born smooth talking salesmen.

anyway i hate the idea that a woman will dump you as soon as you stop showing strength. that she can need you but GOD FORBID you ever need HER. is this really the way women are and i just have to accept it? I accept that men are stronger emotionally and physically and mentally than women and that men have to do MOST of the work……but I don’t think women cant be capable of doing any work at all. so you have to support her always, and she supports you NEVER? thats fookin gay.

yeah well she never gave up and walked out when her longterm boifran was freezing HER out. but im not sure he was being “WEAK” though. he was being strong but silent hahahaha. well, he might not have been being “STRONG” but he wasnt being WEAK either. he was jsut distant and cold and stubborn. but she made a real effort with him at least.

so yeah she was capable. jsut not with me. because i was weak hahahaha.

i just HATE the idea that you have to be PERFECT or else they LEAVE.

but thats clearly not true! her BF wasnt perfect and she gave him MORE than a fair chance! many women stay with men who are VERY not perfect!

yeah but these men present as strong, and not at all as weak. they dont get nervous or anxious. they might get ANGRY at the women always wanting to TALK and DO STUFF and FIX stuff. but the men are not freaking out like a hysterical WOMAN.

oct 6

 

classic album here, if you dont like this album, gtfo. train your 3dpd fat slob to like this album as you bang her hahahahaha.

as a lifelong fan of srs metal, i have learned the important and mature lesson than women who like metal = crazy = bad (im talking about like serious fans of black or death metal, not they like a few random hit metal songs by metallica or pantera or slayer or motorhead or iron maiden or something, that should be fine).

but yeah a woman that likes the CURE, i would still be pretty impressed by that. even though im old enough to KNOW BETTER about being IMPRESSED by a womans MUSICAL TASTE. its a traaaappp.

i dont even think robert smith is as big a degenerate as most musicians, well, assuming from the fact that he’s been married to the same woman for like 40 years.

never saw the cure live and they are one of the few on muh live concert bucket list. note to self, if i have feelings for a woman, do NOT take that woman to the cure concert, because i wont be able to remember that as a good memory when she dumps me and breaks my heart hahaha. go with a male friend or alone.

yeah hard to go wrong with the cure. it is smooth and chill, and beautiful, and melodic, romantic, catchy, and also sad and emo, and spine chilling, and this album is probably their best moment. the Lush Beauty of “pictures of you” to the super catchy hard rocking of “fascination street” and of course their biggest hit “lovesong” which is a great song. i mean its impossible not to like and RESPECT this album. for any fan of music. if you dislike this album YOUR JUST STUPID.

yeah i guess if youre a total hipster you could say its too mainstream and overplayed. its def mainstream but is it REALLY overplayed? are these REALLY boring songs? these are timeless, classic songs that are played a lot for a REASON.

it IS a little LONG though at 63 minutes, where 40 minutes is the ideal album length.

working class men on Worksites listen to MUSIC all day as they do their hard work. i think this is very significant and worth some thought. if you are listening to music, it is harder to PANIC and be ANXIOUS and NERVOUS, and ALSO it means you are CONSTANTLY TALKING and thinking on your feet to come up with Bullshit Explanations for both your supervisors and your customers. that is EXHAUSTING. its like CAMPAIGNING for president and you have to talk and bullshit all day. i could NEVER do that, i dont know where trump gets his ENERGY, but its safe to say he’s always been that way, and some people just ARE.

heheh i forgot about the 311 cover of lovesong. that is tbh pretty darn good fam hahahaha. pretty secsy for blowing out your bitches asshole hahahahaha. because they LIKE being treated like Jooish Pornographic Filth. Absolutely Disgusting. BELIEVE ME, I would rather treat them as Fragile Flowers, because I HATE Jooish Pornographic Filth. Hate that Disgusting SHit that has RUINED Women And Men. words cannot describe the HATE. i dont hate nonwhites, i might not even hate joos, but by god i HATE the disgusting filth that joos have created! I hate the evil they have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny that the cure has an album called “pornography.” as an old man, this to me is AWESOME because that is an INCREDIBLY dark, despairing, nihilistic album, and I think this terrible feel perfectly captures the actual real essence of pornography. it is not secsy or hot and all. it is empty and despairing and nihilistic and soulless and horrible. i’m not sure if thats what robert (first name basis hahahaha) was getting at, but i like to think he was hahahahaha.

and yeah “pictures of you” is a CLASSIC FOR A REASON!!!!! and perfectly captures Lost Love and Heartbreak and Regret and embodies what i have felt for the past 14 months hahahahahahaha. thankfully i can enjoy the song on its own merits as a way to express a personal emotion that was unshared with her, hahahaha. meaning, im glad i never cuddled or buttfooked her while listening to THE CURE or this album, because then it would actually REMIND me of her, rather than help me Get Over Muh Emotions ABOUT her. in other words, the cure is MY thing and not HER thing, definitely not OUR thing. well she probably likes a few cure songs but we never shared any cure moments, thank god.

NEVER share things with women hahahahaha cuz then you cant enjoy your favorite music and movies when they break your heart and leave you. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR FAVORITE THINGS FOR YOU. i mean thank god i can still listen to neil young, but it took a while! TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah i mean you get over it, but it sucked that i couldnt even listen to one of muh favorite music guys for months!!!!!!!!!!!!

want to get out of house before noon today (oh god that sounds so lazy and negrish!!!!!!) and do some errands

also prep for autist aba job interview tommorow

AND apply for 3 jobs because i think about 3 decent jobs are gonna “expire” by tommorow

AND get good powerwalk

AND get 14 pushups

AND eat less than 1200 calories because i went like EIGHT HUNDRED OVER yesterday, oy vey.

uhhhh 14 pushups is a good baby step, but all together that is a lot of baby steps hahahaha.

ok went to store

ok called the interview place and stalked the woman who will be interviewing me, she was supposed to email me 2 days ago but it never went thru because she typed my hard to spell email wrong.

i called her and aksed for her hard to spell email and successfully sent a message to her hahahaha. thankfully she does not have a masters degree and seems like a nice person from the stalking i did.

ok got the shit printed out, hehhehe if you have to print out 10 pages of shit for every interview, thats 250 pages hahahaha. i have already bought 2 black ink cartridges and am burning thru the 3rd one pretty quickly. so stupid.

not going to get a ton of sleep tonight, might blank out and do a gary johnson aleppo moment tomorrow. that really looks bad. well if he can get to be governor, i can get a 12 dollar an hour autism technician job.

uhhhh applied to 2 jobs today but not 3. prepared my info sheet for tomorrow.

this org clearly has a problem with people not sticking around. prob because they quickly find better paying jobs. and they cant afford to pay them more because they are a nonprofit org. so they are angry about people getting valuable autism training and then leaving before 10 months. but i……

i dunno i just hate being in a job and saying OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING I CANT HANDLE THIS JOB OH GOD WHAT DO I DO OH GOD THIS IS RIDICULOUS WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS JOB OH YEAH BECAUSE THEY CANT FIND PEOPLE WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS WITHOUT QUITTING!!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THESE PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEEEEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY TO THEM I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOOOOOOOOOOOING HOW CAN YOU PUT ME OUT HERE IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also worry that the “workplace safety” job will do regular drug tests because you drive a company van. oh god i cant drive a large van!!!!!!! what if the van breaks down!!!!!!

i think this autism job would be more fun and i would enjoy it more and also be able to SURVIVE and WITHSTAND it better, because it is part time and because it is sort of in muh wheelhouse. well i am more conflicting about wanting the autism job vs the safety job, however in the autism vs the bank job, i def want the bank job!!!!!

hehehehe this is assuming i get offers from both jobs in these situations. VERY big assumptions!!!!!

does that mean i had a good feeling abotu the saftey job? kind of!

and i have kinda a good feeling about getting the autism job.

REALLY? I have been REJECTED for ELEVEN dollar an hour part time jobs recently, what reason do i have to be optimistic about a TWELVE DAH PT job? hahahahaha. well because my degree actually relates to this job, sort of, where it doesnt relate to “office administrative assistant” job. which is stupid. i mean the better degree for that would be business. even if i have 30 credits of business classes. doesnt matter i guess hahaha.

shit they might reject me because ive never worked with CHILDREN before. let alone autist children haha.

i wish you could negotiate training wages. meaning i would gladly accept minimum wage for the first month or however long it took for me to be rejected from the other 2 jobs i am in contention for. so if i got one of those jobs, the autism place wouldnt lose too much money training me. cuz its a decent org and i might want to reapply with them in a few years. for one of their FT jobs that dont exist, yeah sure hahahaha.

oct 7 firday

752 AM

up real early today, like a real working man, currently dressed up and ready to go to interview, did not prep so well. as predicted, did not sleep well. well i was up thinking until like 130 am. thankfully i did fall asleep and I was in the middle of an interesting dream that i was scheduled to be part of the death panel on the next daily shoah with k1ke enoch and “sven” and i was like iii dunno guys, what the hell am I gonna be able to add to this, im gonna sound like an idiot, but im honored you asked me, i really like TRS hahahahaha. this is probably muh first TRS related DREAM hahahahaha. much better than having dreams about you know WHO hahaha.

ok. like i say, its a tough call between autism job vs safety job. for a normie, no its not, the safety job BTFOs the autism because it pays more, more hours, FT, established company, health care, bennies etc.

12 pm

welp did the interview, sent thank you note, recorded it as 95 minutes. spent an hour in there, but onyl about 30 minutes talking to them, and like 20 minutes filling out a damn application by hand which was basically a copy of all the shit i already gave them. i will never understand these stupid hiring policies. filling out shit by hand. unbelievable. told them about muh desire for FT. they were very understanding. talked to a Masters Level Psychologist who is about 7 years younger than me, oy vey hahahahaha.

there might be young 3 year old children biting and smacking and pooping their pants and i have to put diapers on them. i think i would rather do this than answer phone calls hahahahaha.

i dont fookin know man i just want a job where i can get help if i need it and i am not constantly needing it and not constantly fighting and struggling to survive every day. good god. the type of exhausting, nervous struggle where you feel like you need to chug Whiskey straight from the bottle at the end of every day.

hehehe normal life is at least 2 to 3 times HARDER for me than for normies. not that normies have it easy! but the basics of Holding Down a Job and Banging A Bitch, those are at LEAST 3 times harder for me. lots of fear and failure hehehehe. lots of time wasted. lots of not getting anywhere.

on the degen show “better things” which im not sure why i am watching, well because i want to see a degen single mother raising degen girls, its really all about degen women, and is kinda like “GIRLS” in that regard. no husbands or fathers, mothers a whore, her oldest daughter is 16 and beautiful and is becoming a whore, the middle daughter is an autistic ocd 13 year old lesbian, so i guess all that is enough to sell me.

recent episode focused on the 16 year old daughter worried about her future, going to college and all that, what am i gonna do with my life, her high school guidance counselor says no ivy league for you, you shoulda started prepping for that a few years ago, might not have the grades for a good state shool, have you thought about community college?

now the red pill is that community college is awesome but it DOES have a reputation as for underachieving losers, so when you’re in high school, you shudder at the thought. then when 10 years later youre still a huge loser, you think, welp, i have been humbled, time to go to CC now that real University did not work out.

anyway the girl is very anxious and despairing and I totally related and found this storyline very compelling. i guess she smokes MJ and does not get 4.0 grades. dont know if she is a huge horrible slut. PROBABLY, knowing this degen show.

because they show the girl sitting with her degen mom and the degen moms friends all sitting around drinking and talking about ABORTIONS, like how many abotions you got, tell the story of that abortion, and i was like, they are trying WAY too hard to make this show edgy, and what EXACTLY are they trying to say? they were clearly trying to be provocative by having such a “FRANK” discussion of abortions while CHILDREN were amongst them, as if to say, this is NORMAL, this is not a big deal, we all have abortions, and you’ll get abortions too, its just a fact of life, rite of passage for a woman, dont be ashamed of this, its good to be pro choice, and if you get knocked up when you are having fun with Secsy Boys, you can and should totes get an abortion too.

so i felt sympathy for this poor girl just about to become a Woman, and that she was so FOOKED because her mother is such a damn baby murdering degenerate. so the beautiful 16 year old gurl is gonna become a slut REAL soon if she isnt already, prob lose V to badboi, then quickly start riding C carousel, throwing a bunch of betabois away, probably start cheating, not take secs seriously, not take human life seriously, the way she THROWS LIVES AWAY, develop 10000 C stare, never be able to have a serious rel with a man, just like her crazy whore mother who cant love a man either.  but is this “beautifully flawed” woman trying to raise 3 young daughters as a Single Working Mom who is very open about Secs and Abortions and Being Tuff and You Do You Grrrrrl.

and its NORMAL to be a slut and cheat and break hearts and throw people away and get abortions, sex is FUN FIRST and if you get preggers, no big deal, get an abortion, WEVE ALL DONE IT. and sometimes you just wanna get fooked, and if the guy is a sensitive virgin type an gets feelings, AW, TOO BAD SO SAD, its ok to Dump and Ghost him because you just wanted to Get Off.

and we are beautiful in our flaws and we are gonna be as flawed as possible.

and i like the show for confronting Real Shit, but i hate it for taking the wrong opinion on this shit. while at the same time having some good and sympathetic characters. i mean i dont even really hate the mom. but i should.

to make her daughter feel better, the mother took her to the store and made her dress in a Ladies Business Suit, and said there you are, you look just like those successful peopel who have their shit together, youre no different than them. it was actually sort of touching even though she should not be so worried about career and shit. she should have a good father who helps her find a good husband.

i mean the show could have pushed more Red Pills about You Dont Have To Go To College. Go To Trade School or Community College or Military.

so they talk to a bank teller and mom says do you have any college, teller says no just a GED and i started this job at age 22 and im 25 now.

this could have opened a real good conversation but they just left it there.

so do you portray the bank teller as a failure because they didnt go to college? no not at all, which i liked.

i would have liked more if they had a 30 year old with a masters degree living with his family because he is still trying to pay back 200k in student loans hahahaha and he’s done, he’s finished, given up on life, i’ll never get anyway, i wish i could have a family but i’ll never afford it, and i havent dated a woman in over 5 years hahahahaha. that would have been some great black pill shit.

basically, college educated 30 year olds who cant afford to move out hahahaha because they are only making 12 dollars an hour and are 80k in debt for useless college hahahaha.

tfw when you see a picture of FENRIZ when he was very young, like 20 or 21 or so, and realize he sort of reminds you of THAT WOMAN.

I was completely in luv and wanted to marry and have babies and spend muh life with and was devastated heartbroken for 15 months over a woman who looks like FENRIZ.

fenriz is currently 44 years old as is nocturno culto. culto has 2 children a son and a daughter. i do not think fenriz has any children. not sure how old cultos children are. i hope he is a good father to them.

but yeah there are like 2 pictures of 20 year old fenriz where he kinda looks like That Woman. so weird. i told you she was kidna weird looking hahahahaha. but like fenriz, she had nice long dark hair.

so darkthrone was offered 200k USD to play a festival for one show and they REFUSED. hell yes that shows some serious “INTEGRITY” but at the same time i have to think, you’d have to be stupid to turn that down!

Should a man with CHILDREN turn down 200k for 1 day of work just because of his artistic integrity?

basically I give them a PASS, and I think its kinda STUPID for a man with a FAMILY to turn that money down. even if you dont have a family, you still need money. maybe fenriz has bastard children he needs to pay child support. (speculation). maybe fenriz wants to take care of his aging parents. TAKE THE FOOKIN MONEY GUIZE.

heh. most people just like the music and dont really care about the people behind it.

I dont really care for the music and i am MORE interested in the PEOPLE behind it hahahaha.

i mean the story of these guys lives is WAY more interesting than listening to “plaguewielder” or “the cult is alive” hehehehehehehehe.

i say this because i am sort of excited about darkthrone again due to their brand new album which I am going to listen to today on powerwalk hehehe.

did 3.2 mile, 1 hour powerwalk, my normal walking pace is 3.2 mph and i am happy with that.

listened to new darkthrone album. it has great sound/production and is perfect length and it is not all ridiculous, but uhhh i was hoping it would be a little…..better hehehehe. i mean its no panzerfaust. i mean you can tell they are both enjoying themselves, theyre not just going through the motions, so i think a large part of the prob is me simply not being able to appreciate “new” music.

its hard to get the interest of women when you MAKE LESS THAN THEM. of course im talking about money. basically the only people that I make MORE than are total white trash and negroes hahahahaha. at least when i was making 30k, i was then good enough to pull white trash waitresses and such hahahahaha. and that was the best money i ever made in my life! when i was making like 12k a year, i was staying sane but what the HELL can you do on 12k a year? cant live, cant have a family, cant do anything. cant have a serious rel with a woman. i guess you could bang sluts because you sure arent gonna KEEP any women making only 12k!

wow she dumped him SUPER BAD, super insult to injury there. why do people do this? why do you HAVE to add insult to injury? i mean if i were this guy i would be devastated, my confidence would be CRUSHED for at least 15 months hahahahaha. this type of thing will DESTROY a guys confidence for a LONG time.

also when someone throws you away, people advise you, they dont know what they had, in 2 months they will miss you and be begging for you back. dont take them back. be better than that. they took you for granted the first time. dont give them that second chance.

and that def never happened here. she left me and NEVER looked back. feels bad man! that might even be worse. i wuld def forgive and take her back once. and if she pulled the same shit twice (like they often do) then i would kick her ass out (probably not hahahahaha). but she didnt even come back.

but i am doing my interviews so thats as good as i can ask. i have done about 36 hours of interviews roughly. i guess it would make sense to do 40 hours of interviews. maybe what the lord is teaching me is how to get good at interviews. thats the lesson for this 15 months of pain. how to do interviews. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

but if i dont have an interview for a week, then i feel like i lose all those gains. and i need to have at least 2 or 3 interviews a week to get better. kinda like lifting hehehehe.

heh 330 pm and could totes take a nap. cuz i got up at 615am and did not fall asleep till 1 am.

 

super lengthy autistic post but an in depth picture of someone who actually DOES go to a shrink, and both people are willing to go to shrink, and it doesnt really improve things hehehehe. she still blames him.

but yeah he does seem too damn autistic and that is probably a problem.

also yeah she probably IS “depressed” but she should get that diagnosed well before 28. I sure did! because i was trying to improve myself so i could live a normal life with a job and a GF one day.

and good on this guy for improving himself from a fat virgin to an in shape, masters degree, successful, hardworking, guy with a GF. but he is still anal and autistic in a way that will hurt the rel, just as she hurts the rel with her “depression” and lack of interest and effort.

this album is regarded as DT coming back from a perhaps 3-album slump from 1996 to 2003 hahaha. fenriz said he was very derpressed and i guess was feeling better by the time of this album. and he was thankful to culto for essentially keeping the band alive during that time.

anyway i remember i actually bought the “plaguewielder” cd (used) back when cds were still a thing. i was like uhhhh this is not the greatest. and that was pretty much the end of darkthrone for me hahahaha and i never gave “hate them” a chance. i did give “sardonic wrath” a try and actually kinda liked that one. that came out following hate them.

anyway just trying to say i prefer this kind of vocal from culto. the hateful trve black metal vocal rather than the more i guess celtic frost vocal he’s doing now. which is not bad mind you, but the older vocal is better.

i mean there is no competition hehehe. however “boring” darkthrone may be, culto gives a Master Class in how to do good vocals.

62.9% labor force participation rate? that cant be good, unless labor force counts super old and super young people….which it probably shouldnt! and honestly i dont think it does. labor force is work age people. like 18 to 65 or whatever.

oh you know what i am not even gonna shit on plaguewielder anymore. it has shitty artwork but it sounds pretty similar to hate them with the riffage and sick vocals. also culto thanks tom waits on his short list of inspirations and shoutouts. in 2001 before i even knew who tom waits was unfortuantely. did not discover waits until 2003 or 4 at the latest.

also there are “blast beats” on these albums where i haven’t heard them on the newer albums. come on. you gotta have that.

trump scandal of him using “vulgar language about women.”

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN!!!!

crude comments in 2005 interview about tits and pussy and whatever. who cares.

well, i kinda care if he is cheating on his wife, but not sure if he was married to her by then.

cuz its not cool to cheat on your wife but he has dealt with his fair share of gold diggers so.

i mean this is fooking stupid and i hope it doesnt COST HIM the election just because WOMEN will be so butthurt. and women shouldnt even be able to vote hehehehehe. but people have short memories too.

even the circle wagons album does not sound BAD. it is quite rocking as a matter of fact.

lesson: even the “worst” darkthrone albums are pretty good.

i would have preffered that he make super racist comments about mudslims or blacks or especially joos. that would be SWEET. BUT, that definitely would have killed his chances 100%, and that would NOT be good.

i like that he didnt apologize THAT much. hes not begging for forgiveness, and kinda saying this is not a big deal. cuz its really not. but i really dont know how real women will take it. i know that msnbc is up in arms hahahaha.

why not criticize the hollywood host billy bush for being an enthusiastic participant in the conversation.

QUOTE

It’s foolish to take the Blackpill with regards to women. It makes you settle for low quality sluts and degenerates. Do you want them to be the mother of your children?

I was in a bad place in 2011. I was dating a used-up slut whom I had nothing in common with. I was struggling to finish school and leave the comfy world of NEETdom. I had gotten into reading ‘The Red Pill’ and that middle eastern rapist Roosh, and my opinion of women was extremely low. Thus, my expectations from women were low.

This girl was a degenerate waste. She was pretty enough, but was a complete slob, and nearing the end of her 20s. I knew she had dated around, but the extent of the rot was what really got to me. The day I left her was when I attended a ‘party’ with some of her friends, only to discover she had f00cked literally 8 of the men at the party. Her total number was somewhere around 35ish men. One of which included a ni99er. Disgusting. I drove off, deleted her from Facebook and Skype, and washed my hands of her.

I was lucky to get out of that mess with no STIs. I pulled myself out of this depression and blackpill by lifting and travelling, and completely tossed out the ReturnOfKangz/rOOSH shit. Some of the techniques are useful, and yes, 90% of women are somewhere on the whore spectrum, but 10% of girls is still a HUGE amount of people.

On one of my trips, after a year of lifting and healthy eating, I met a complete QT3.14, 10/10. She was introverted, shy, but extremely moral. She was 6 years younger than me, intelligent, had a similar genetic background, and was a fucking virgin.

Married her 2 years into the relationship and it has only gotten better.

Lift, have confidence in your self, resist the blackpill, and you will find extremely high quality women waiting for you to wife them. Let the f4ggot numales clean up the algae of used up whores. WILL TO POWER BRAH

END

i am risking getting banned for posting private forum material here, but uhhhh i wont say what forum i got it from, nor who said it, but i am trying to share an awesome WHITE PILL here: a neetish man was dating a dirty slut, then he turned his life around and married a nice virgin waifu. GOOD FOR HIM. this is EXACTLY the stuff I need to read a LOT more of…..but i’m not finding a lot of it. not enough.

nyquil and coffee combination hehehe. again went way over calorie limit. soooooo easy to eat over 1200 cals.

yeah why shouldnt i link this already.

this and TH are muh fav DT albums. and this one is more “fun.” not sure why the vocals are considered controversial. i think they are great although perhaps mixed a little loudly. the riffs, songwriting, and production are all top of the line, and there is a ton of nostalgia with this album, as it was a big part of muh adolescence at age 18 or so. this is a pretty kewl album to have as your theme music at age 18 hahahahahahahaha.

“quintessence”, come on. probably the darkthrone stairway to heaven right there.

but yeah. a lot of people are interested in things they dont really participate in. politics, professional sports, tv shows, religion. but no one is interested in “relationships” as like a main interest they way I am, apart from WOMEN who are always GOSSIPING. I truly do like to gossip, but I like even more to study and understand the relationships.

its like watching from the sidelines and commenting but never participating. but thats the thing: is that normies DO participate, quite regularly, and dont really comment on it at the same level as I do, just gossip, say whos fooking who, whos dumping who.

and even people who are obsessed with sportsball and watch pro sportsball but are too fat and soft to actually play pro sportsball still often play amateur sportsball or fantasy sportsball.

i dont play Fantasy Relships, although maybe in a way I do: by having these one sided things where I have the relship all in my mind and it does not reflect reality at all.

nyquil makes me unable to think clearly and articulate and be persuasive. still i wish i just had some MJ, i would LUV to smoke a bunch of MJ on a friday night like this and listen to DARKTHRONE.

“the hordes of nebulah”. i used to think this song wasnt as good as the 2 before it, now i see i was wrong hahahahaha. truly a MAGIC album and i wouldnt EXPECT darkthrone to ever capture this kind of lightning in a bottle quite the same way ever again. you cant. again a large part of this was my own age at the time. but this is gonna be one of those albums that i enjoy thru my entire life hahaha. share with muh waifu and children and they will say damn what a badass!

anyway it is just “funny” and mostly sad that i spend all this time and energy and interest thinking about and analyzing Relationships, general and particular, myself and my fantasy rels, others and my perceptions of their real rels, and i think i have the tools and skills and knowledge to be real mature and good in a rel…..but my weakness is the BEGINNING. I cant get it STARTED for various reasons. cant spark the kindling and get the fire going ever.

large part of that is because i am scared to “apply”. at least with jobs i am putting out 450 applications, doing 23 interviews. if i were doing that with WOMEN, i WOULD have been in a real rel by now, or at least had a near normie level of secsual satisfaction. or, hopefully, i would say THIS IS DEGENERATE, I’m not gonna do this unless its in a real rel with a decent woman, fook this banging sluts shit, leave it to the degenerate hedonist nihilist abortionists.

fenriz did recycle the classic “quintessence” riff on his storm “nordavind” album which was recorded in late 1994 while panzerfaust was recorded in early 1994 hehehe.

they got the qt gurl kari rueslatten to sing on the album (from 3rd and the mortal, really need to dig into them more) and supposedly she was very upset and felt betrayed by fenriz because he changed a lyric at the last minute to say something like “death to every man who does not hail the fatherland!” which she felt was ebil racist. and i bet fenriz is not a racist. shit i wish he WAS. he SHOULD be. and poor kari felt horrible guilt after that and betrayed by ebil fenriz. hahahahaha i wonder if he fooked her. the dirty slut hahaha. see this ALL comes from the root cause of my degen pornographic view of women as sluts to be fooked. this is from watching way too much pron, so shame on me. but also shame on women for willingly BEING like that. they dont have to BE sluts, even if the girls in porno are.

and because kari was a beautiful young norwegian gurl with beautiful long hair, i dont WANT her to be a slut.

i want to read more stories of women who are DIVORCING or DUMPING their men because oh god hes a TRUMP SUPPORTER. but r/relships does not allow overtly political topics.

i would think being married and especially with children makes women less leftist catladylike. so they will say oh yeah trump is crude but oh well hes still better than hillary so im still voting for him.

whereas its the C carousel sluts and catladies who will be most offended, and they werent voting for trump ANYWAY.

in other words, its not gonna lose him any votes. its not gonna make anyone who has already chosen trump, say, oh NOW he’s gone too far, and i am changing my vote to HILLARY? i cant imagine him honestly doing any of that. even if he said GTKRWN 1488, which i would luv, people would still say, yeah im still not voting for hillary.

however it will make the hillary people all the more SHRILL and ANNOYING and that might push undecideds towards trump.

undecideds tho? and couldnt this push undecideds to hillary? sure.

BUT HOW MANY UNDECIDEDS ARE THERE REALLY?????

not very many imho. i play it down because i hang out with people who would be MORTIFIED that they have even ONE trump supporter in their friend circle. so i say stuff, ah well, its a classic lesser of two evils thing, i dont really like either of them, but im really dont like hillary, yes i agree with you trump is not super presidential but im a moderate centrist and hillary is just too left for me, so, i have to vote for trump. that kind of waffling shit. actually i wouldnt even confirm i was voting for trump unless i was with some trump voters. thankfully i know a few.

7000 words? damn.

but yeah its funny. i analyze and think about rels like An Interest Or Hobby but never actually participate, when most NORMIES DO participate and dont analyze them to the same level, its just a normal part of normal life, dont overthink it, its not something interesting like football or tv hahahaha.

well to me it is!!!!!!!!

and women arent much better than men. they gossip a lot more about rels but are even WORSE at analysing, understanding, and workign with them. men could at least have a good chance at reasoning their way through them if they tried.

but you cant REASON with women. its like REASONING with a drunk 50 foot baby with a flamethrower. REASONING with a damn tasmanian devil. you cant reason somebody out of something that they didnt reason themselves into, hahahahaha.

IF MEN HAD AS MANY FEMALE FRIENDS AS WOMEN HAD MALE FRIENDS, WOMEN WOULD BE EVEN MORE JEALOUS THAN MEN

dfgsdhdfgn

oct 1

so manlet woes has done his first major semipublic speech at this dutch erkenbrand conference in setp 2016, well done lad. i remember when he was just a despairing neet making black pill vidyas a few years ago, now he is kind of a leader talking to rooms of people and people paying him thousands of dollars to fly to the US and make speeches here that I will not be at hahahahahaha.

i was wondering if he would wear a suit but he just wore a black shirt which is pretty nice. i know dressing like a neet slob is his   A E S T H E T I C   but he really deserves better and it shouldnt be his aesthetic. but you can really easily slip into dressing like a slob when you havent had a job or a woman in YEARS hahahaha.

well i guess now he has a woman and what he does is kinda like a job, so yeah he SHOULD have more confidence because of that and dress better. i know i would hahahaha. anyway i hope he is with a decent woman who is at least a 7 and wont dump him.

on /r/relships there are a ton of things where there is a woman whose “BEST FRIEND” is a man or vice versa. bonus points if they once dated and or fooked or were/are FWB. and then the woman writes in bitching that her BF is jealous of her “BEST FRIEND” who is a man, who she once fooked, and its the BF’s fault for being controlling and insecure and immature and having jealousy issues, dump him now and find a more mature man.

had a dream with HER in it. i was hanging out with her i think in a group of people and she was being kinda bitchy to me, and I was passive aggressively talking to her like, remember when we used to be better friends than this, we used to be closer, you used to be nicer to me, what happened, why dont you ever want to hang out with me any more, and she was just being bitchy, like well im busy and youre annoying. be cooler and maybe id want to hang out with you more. but youre not cool enough to hang out with me one on one.

basically just acting like a random B rather than someone i was Actual Literal friends with. but those days are gone. LONG GONE. yet i still have the occasional dream. not too often thank god.

and yes you SHOULD be suspicious when a woman has a lot of male friends. even a bit JEALOUS if your GF has many male friends. how do you think SHE would feel if you YOU had MANY female friends?? just a little bit jealous!!!!!!

but just because its so much more common for women to have lots of male friends, than for men to have lots of female friends, the women think its just normal to have lots of male friends. when instead they should be asking themselves, hmm, why dont men have lots of female friends?  and how would i feel if the guys i dated had many female friends, the way i have tons of male friends?

i believe you would see a lot of jealousy from the women then, but you just dont see it now, because men just dont HAVE a lot of female friends for the women to be jealous of!

IF MEN HAD AS MANY FEMALE FRIENDS AS WOMEN HAD MALE FRIENDS, WOMEN WOULD BE EVEN MORE JEALOUS THAN MEN.

another simple truth women just dont understand and which even sounds profound to me, because the simple truth doesnt get stated nearly as much as it should. so we forget simple truths.

heh some people it takes half the time to get over it, ive seen some say it takes the SAME amount of time to get over, i would probably be closer to that. or how about 75%. yeah. cuz the first few months dont really “count.”

so, i had rounded 2.7 years up to 3 years and was saying 1.5 years, which puts me at feb 14 or so (hehehehehe how fitting) but… ok 75% of 2.7 years is 2.025 years. lets just say 2 years. which makes new dday mid july 2017. ok thats fine too.

HERES THE THING hehehehe channeling k1ke enoch. heres the thing. i wouldnt hate women so much if they did a similar thing, go no contact and just Stop Dating for Two Years. but they DONT. they are dating and FOOKING a new guy within two months MAX, even though it really DOES take them two years to get over the previous guy.

THEY FOOK AND DATE OTHER GUYS WHILE THEY ARE GETTING OVER PREVIOUS GUYS. THIS IS SHAMEFUL AND DISGUSTING. DONT DO IT. THIS IS WHY MEN DONT LIKE YOU HAHAHAHAHA.

just be ALONE. DONT TAKE DICKS. DONT DATE. DONT DATE OR FOOK for at LEAST a YEAR. then I would have a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT more respect for women. i dont want to date or fook women while IM getting over a previous woman. why do YOU have to FOOK men while you are getting over your previous man, ya dumb wh0re?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I accept being single and celibate for TWO YEARS!!!!! however long it takes to TRULY get over the person!

btiches on reddit think everything is abuse, and women not crazy enough to use reddit need to be abused in order to make them stay with you! you cant win! hahahaha.

basically i am wndering if reading /r/relships is TOXIC to me because its so toxic with stupid crazy women with their stupid crazy opinions.

well, the opinions themselves can actually be good: “why dont you try communicating with her like a grown adult and clearly addressing the issue.”  women SAYING this. but i’m pretty sure this doesnt really WORK with women, so if you DO it, youre screwed.

i dunno. maybe it does work with some women.

but i hate how women get a pass to be immature, and oh she cant communicate because shes ONLY 25 and shes ONLY been wth 20 guys and had 5 serious boifrans. you need to be 30 years old, been with 50 guys, and had 10 serious bfs before you know how to communicate like an adult.

NO YOU DONT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

25 year old slut hates 28 virgin male, wants to dump him for being awkward with secs. women HATE male virgins. just tell bitches that you dont even know how many bitches youve banged. you lost count at 50 or 60.

dump him because hes a virgin and hes never watched porn. what a fooking bitch. critiquing every little thing he does. disgusting. she has NO respect for him whatsoever and thinks its ok to demonstrate that publicly. holy shit. he should dump the fook out of her.

she was so shocked and offended that he was NERVOUS and AWKWARD with secs and was awkawrd about putting on a con-dom. sheeeeit IM NOT A VIRGIN (hehehehe) and I would STILL be nervous and awkward about this because i havent had secs with a woman in 12 years. i think even if its only been 2 or 3 years you will still be awakwrd.

she is obviously WAY too comfortable with casual secs and he needs to get with less of a god damn whore. why doesnt he get with a nice mormon girl, it sounds like he is a mormon, and the OP is WAY too sex positive. sex positive is BAD. negative.

one good commenter says she is showing a huge lack of empathy for him. i agree. women have no empathy for men. men generally have more empathy than women. everything women can do, men can do better, include raise children, and except actually getting preggers and making babies. artificial wombs and sexbots and mgtow all the way hahahahaha we just dont NEED women for ANYTHING!@!!!!!!!!

this successful, decent, well-adjusted, good husband and father material virgin man DEFINITELY deserves a better woman for his First Lover, than this obnoxious slut. so sad. he is a succesful attorney making a lot of money and she STILL doesnt respect him because hes a virgin and puts on a condom weird. RUN from this skank.

if youre polyamorous (woman of course) and calling this poor guy your “side piece”, that is incredibly dehumanizing and disrespectful. “side piece” means some piece of trash that you are cheating with. you just can reappropriate that term because you are a poly slut. god damn i hate poly people hehehehe especially the women.

yeah i really gotta stop reading it. the women there are so bad. they are turning me into a woman hater. the WORST women gravitate to reddit. definitely getting a skewed sample there. and 80% of the people THERE are women. the worlds worst women. they’re not sending their best. so, i gotta find a place with more MEN, and where more of the women are decent.

i am getting a negative view of women by reading REDDIT.

also it doesnt help that WOMEN are more likely than MEN to be interested in and talk about relships. and its kinda weird for me, as a man, to be obsessed with the topic. men should have manly interests.

well i dont apologize for being interested in relships. suck muh dick.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/571382-haven-t-dated-decade-28-virgin-consdering-suicide

hehehehheeh going to loveshack. i HOPE they have better women, and more men.

its OK if things run their course. its OK if they fall out of love and dont want to work on the Dead Shark any more. but treat that damn dead shark with some dignity and try to minimise their pain when you leave.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/597124-do-all-dumpers-come-back-eventually-feel-regret

i was at church and saw a white family i had never seen before with 3 beautiful white teenage girls and i thought O MUH LAWD. one girl was was wearing a large ugly sweater which covered her tiny bottom, and she had her long hair done in two braids like some fookin aryan goddess in the wheat field. she was so qt and adorable i couldnt even think secsual thoughts. well, i COULD, but they were Couched in protective, loving feels. sort of like how a good father loves his daughter. and this is what women cant udnerstand about how men luv women. they think men just want to pump and dump women. WRONG. just the men THEY have been with. but at least half of men have good will and have this BEAUTIFUL love for a woman, KIND of like a father loves his daughter, but there is also a secsual component there.

maybe MEN dont understand the way WOMEN luv men?

well i think ideally we come back to the father daughter comparison. just like a good daughter is always loyal and loving to her father, same with the wife to her husband.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/310401-why-dumpers-eventually-want-reconcile-why-dumpees-eventually-don-t

unrelated hehehehe

well if she came “crawling back” to me, i would absolutely take her back, if she had been with less than 5 guys in the meantime, and didnt have any kids. those things would give me pause.

IF MEN HAD AS MANY FEMALE FRIENDS AS WOMEN HAD MALE FRIENDS, WOMEN WOULD BE EVEN MORE JEALOUS THAN MEN.

let that sink in, WOMEN hehehehehe.

and men, for that matter. if men had that many women friends, women would be INSECURE AF. even more than they accuse the men of being.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/421931-when-if-ever-does-dumper-truly-miss-dumpee-why

also i want to use MJ just because i think it would help me continue to get over her. i mean its just gonna take TIME (1.5 to 2 years) and that is kinda like chronic pain that you just have to suffer through for 2 years, which is long time. and MJ helps take the edge off of chronic longterm pain. and helps you sleep. helps pass the time.

http://evalion.org/

i guess i am sorta glad to see evalion back in action, but i just really want her to not do degenerate shit in her personal life, like take noodz and attention whore for orbiters. but i agree she is a fairly effective voice for pro-whites. im not going to CUCK for her as some perfect aryan princess though. i mean she’d really have to make a serious EFFORT if she wanted to convince me to be her man hahahaha.

 

yeah i mean i dont really trust HER because shes a WOMAN and i dont trust or like women, but i do generally like her content and i believe she is sincere until shes not hahahaha. i mean maybe she can help turn other women. but do women really listen to women more than men? are women really GOOD at anything other than making babies? well, they are good at getting attention, thats for sure. which, in evalions case, means getting shut down quickly. which is wrong. she shouldnt be shut down.

i guess my concern is, are all the new people she is reaching, will they be around in 1 or 2 years, or will they listen to anything any qt gurl says???

thing is, theres plenty of qt leftist gurls making videos about why being an antiwhite is kewl…..right?

also i think pathetic virgin guys are probably sick and tired of feminists and that could be their gateway to the right. they wont beleive feminism even if a qt young gurl says it. so when a qt young gurl talks abotu anti feminism and pro white ring wing stuff, they get into it.

we need more strong, successful, powerful men in the alt right. 25 year old men who are doing well in their careers, making 100 grand, just decent boyscout eagle scout white men who are prob politically moderate or apolitical, and are just boyscouts making good money, get them to start to care about their whiteness.  we dont need losers and neets who watch girls on youtube. we dont need people like me hahahahaha.

i mean for 50 years the pro white right has has no shortage of misfits and weirdos and creeps and felons and neets and just total fookin losers. drunks and druggies who get 1488 swastikas tattooed on their face. people who think effective political action is getting drunk and doing lone wolf attacks against nonwhites.

we NEED successful, respected people. managers and successful, respected white men with good careers, wives, and children. something i would LOVE to be but probably never will.

this is why i dont go to real life alt right meetups, this is why i dont actively search for women. because i realize my lack of value as a huge loser in life with nothing to bring to the table for real people hahahahaha.

like when i became friends with that woman, and later fell in luv with her, i was not on okcupid looking for women to date. i knew my mate value was so low that i had no chance. i had voluntarily taken myself off the market and was not even trying. it sucked that i even knew a woman i could possibly get feelings for. well at least now i dont have that problem. and my mate value is even LOWER than it was then, hehehehehe. making 10 dollars an hour at a part time job. i knew i couldnt get a woman with that! well now i make 0 dollars at 0 hours a week! at least then i had a job I had stayed at for 5 years without going crazy at all! i was in NO danger of Panicquitting that job! i was just coasting along and then one day i met HER. if i had never met HER i never would have become friends with her, would have never gotten that new terrible job, would have never gotten feelings for her, would have never gone crazy, and would have never hit muh Lowest Point Ever. I probably would have still be Coasting at that awesome, but unresepectable, job.

that would have been shameful but not nearly as shameful and pathetic as what I am in now.

also when you have a female friend its a LOT easier to not be a woman hater. because you can always look to your female friend and be like SEE? nothing wrong with HER, and we get along just fine. not all women are horrible. not all women want nothing to do with me. i am a normie man and am capable of getting along with women. it kind of “anchors” you. and without that, you can go off the deep end! and that is where i am right now.

so yeah basically when i get hateful or annoyed at women, like That Woman or these awful reddit women, I just need to:

  1. think of this one real life woman I know who I am really only minor acquaintances with but she is a good person and not a whore
  2. think of ANN COULTER, who might be the best real life woman ever.

yeah i know “St Anne” is a dirty mudshark and degenerate and only crazy women are POLITICAL and she is grossly anorexic…..but it is hard as a right wing person not to like her. i like to think if i were dating her she would dump me in a mature manner, hehehehe.

she would say, im sorry, but i just cant commit to you right now, i dont want to put in the effort, i cant do it, im sorry to disappoint you, youre a good person and you’ll find somebody who is able to give you what you deserve, but it aint me, im sorry. i totally understand if you block me and go no contact because im mature enough to understand that its hard to be just friends when you get dumped, and i am trying to be a good dumper here and appreciate your pain as the dumpee. sincerely, st anorexic anne the mudshark hahahahaha.

no i give a pass to ann to be political, to be a mudshark, to not have children, to be a catlady, because her content is SO GOOD hahahaha. i bet she is Joo-wise too, she has come close to saying some joo-wise things. which is REALLY impressive given her stature. i luv ann.

anxiety might be my bigger problem than despair, i think constant anxiety is the root cause of the despair because the anxiety kept me from doing anything: jobs, women, taking chances and risks, taking action.

well i do go to as many interviews as i can. its not like i skip the interviews………….which many people with anxiety DO!!!!!!

i just cant get the job and i am constantly anxious over Whats Gonna Happen on the job. but I am actually fairly confident I CAN eventually get a shitty anxiety provoking job after going through like 30 interviews.

 

.045 BATTING AVERAGE

sept 26

heh. ok took some nyquil. did a 3.6 mile powerwalk. now a chili diet is GREAT because you feel very full and its really not a lot of calories, so you could easily lose weight eating only chili. beef and beans.  but it hits your stomach like a brick and puts you in a coma and you feel like you always have to Poop even if youre not actually pooping. and then wake up in the middle of the night and poop hhahahaha.

ok. got to get one job app done today before i get in too much of a coma!

wewlad got contacted for The Big 20th Interview at 441 jobs. brings me to 1/22 average here. 1 interview for every 22 applications. in baseball terms that is a .045 batting average hahahahaha.

but yeah i have been in a SLUMP lately, a COLD STREAK, so this is kinda good. but now i worry i will be RUSTY and therefore not do so good on this interview.

well, just dont schedule 2 interviews for 1 day ever again hehehehe.

this is for a large ass company who sometimes has TV commercials. its a fortune….550 company hahahahaha.

1.5% revenue LOSS but a profit GAIN? how does that work?

anyway this job has to do with fire safety department, i guess extinguishers and sprinklers maybe? inspection and service.

and i have a damn written test TONIGHT for the 15 dah pt city job. 15 dah is great, but pt and no bennies sucks. it probably sucks so much that you should not have a damn 2 hour written test. HOW MANY PEOPLE are really applying for this? well there were about 30 people for the wirtten test for the other city job a few months ago!

awww sheeeeit i gotta bring my own PENCILS???? they had pencils last time. so they will print out 500 sheets of paper for the test but not pencils. ok. making 30 people come in at this one time. when they could have done the whole thing online. but then there would prob be more applicants. so its worth it for them to print 600 pages of paper……but NOT supply pencils hahahaha.

heh i wish high schools taught the skills you actually need in jobs. like “DECIPHERING priorities” being dumped on you by 10 different people. and communicating in tough situations and making decisions where you dont have information, and you dont know who has the information, and you dont know how to get the information, to fix a broken system where the customer knows more about the system than you, and are demanding an explanation for something you dont understand and have never seen.

this should all be in high school, NOT spending MONTHS reading SHAKESPEARE. come on. shakespeare? really? i am not dissing shakespeare but really its fooking USELESS. let stupid english majors in college read shakespeare. im not even denying that he was a smart white writer.

now annoyed because literally 10 flies are now in the house buzzing around when earlier in the day, there were NONE. i mean what the hell am i supposed to think? to go from 0 to 10 in just a few hours?

and when you have a TON of flies in the house like this, its like, what filth is rotting away in here?

in certain regions there are different kinds of flies. like in rural areas there are a ton of flies, but they do not seem to signify filth the same way these flies do. i would strongly wager they are diff species of flies.

i mean its distracting and annoying and i have killed at least 5 or 6 so far and theres several more. i had the door open for a few seconds but i didnt see any flies fly in, let alone 10.

so stupid and retarded.

well, her job is not some fancy high status masters degree senior level career job, its just really FUN and she LUVS it, and he is an Unemployed Bum.

ok. did muh 15 pushups today. did 2 job apps. making some headway on getting rid of these flies. did some cleaning around the house. got written job test in a few hours. not even gonna prepare. cant really.

so now you need to know your LOVE LANGUAGE because of this stupid fad book, and know your womans luv language, and manage a way so that you can communicate with her, and do all the heavy lifting there, or else youre the bad guy who pushes her away and deserves to be dumped because you didnt jump through all the hoops and do all the heavy lifting and all the hard work and all the effort.

i dont know what my luv language is. i am very cuddly and affectionate WHEN I like the person, but before then, i am cold and aloof and distant. it takes a long time and or somebody very special to get over The Wall.  and then when they do, i smother them with affection and attention and stalking and neediness hahahaha.

do i do gifts or actions? i havent really been with somebody long enough to do any thoughtful gift giving beyond basic bitch buying them dinner hahahaha then get dumped shortly after hahahaha.  but the few times i did buy gifts for women i had known for a while, i tried to make them really nice and good and that they would like them.

i mean you have to have an at least medium term rel before you start buying making meaningful GIFTS for them! so i did that a LITTLE for woman2012, did that a little for woman2015. maybe they dumped me because i didnt get them enough gifts and with enough meaning hahahaha. no jk.

heh. 1 job is INFINITELY more than 0 jobs.

2 jobs is only TWICE as much as 1 job ahahahahahahahahahahahah.

therefore,

https://www.google.com/search?q=Five+Geek+Social+Fallacies&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&oq=Five+Geek+Social+Fallacies&aqs=chrome..69i57&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

sheeeeeeeeit.

yeah well “OSTRACISM” is wrong if you just freeze someone out with no communication. but yeah it is okay to tell someone “i dont want to hang out any more.” but i wouldnt call that “OSTRACISM.”

http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html

setp 28

sheeeeeeeit man. so i went to the written test for the part time city job. 15 hourly. one time only. well, i found out they actually had a second session. there were 33 people here. wow. ranged from attractive 8/10 23 year old gurls, to 60 year old men and women. learned there were 3 positions filling. did not know that. that was good news. that gives me a better chance. but i did HORIBLE on the test!

because half of it was goddamn accounting questions: do a bank reconciliation problem. do a cash disbursements journal problem. which are increased and decreased by debits, which accounts are increased and decreased by credits. law of debits and credits.

this is ALL accounting 101 stuff, and I took accounting 101 and got a A+. over 6 years ago. then i never used this knowledge again. so i recognized these words but completely forgot what they meant, and certainly couldnt remember enough to get the questions right!

was very frustrated and angry, because i USED to know this stuff and years ago would have done very well! I could definitely relearn it fairly quickly. but right now I dont remember shit.

heh. i can give you oficial transcripts showing you i got 4.0 in accounting 1 AND accounting 2!  I USED to know all this stuff. i would have loved to get an entry level accounting clerk job, but you gotta have a CPA and 5 years of experience to do this hhahahaha.

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+do+cash+disbursement+journal&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&oq=how+to+do+cash+dis&aqs=chrome.3.69i57j0l5.6872j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+do+bank+reconciliation&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&oq=how+to+do+bank+re&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.5123j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

ok so learn how to do it then so i can bs about it in a future interview hehehehe

ooooh just got invited to a phone interview/screening for a….12 dah job i applied to OVER 3 MONTHS AGO. it is not even on Muh Spreadsheet. I thought I got rejection email. shit i DID get a rejection email on APRIL 12!!!!!!

so they probably hired someone, they didnt learn fast enough and were fired or panicquit, or they werent happy with 12 bucks an hour, or they died of a fentanyl laced heroin overdose hahahahahahahahahahaha or bludgeoned to death by their black boifran tyrone hahahaha. what a sense of humor. ladies, im single hahahahaha.

and so now they are going to their second string in the pool. WELP its better than putting out another posting and getting 1000 NEW people in the pool, like that trucking company does. i have stopped applying for the damn position. (maybe its a test, they are checking to see if you apply for it FIVE TIMES and THEN they call you. so since i stopped at 3 or 4, they wont call me.)

but this place is a well reputed credit union and they are super close to home if its the branch im thinking of. want to find out how much customer contact it is of course. also i dont think this place gets ROBBED too much.

SOMEBODY DISCONNECTED FROM ME ON LINKEDIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant figure out who it is. maybe one of the people that requested me who i dont even know in real life, just because i am desperate for linkedin connections hehehehe.

had weird dream where i was watching “a david lynch film” which is similar to when i am watching a “lars von trier film” in a dream, usually means I am about to see some FOOKED UP SHIT like a full blown NIGHTMARE.

There was some shit with nazis and hitler having an orgy that also included gay sex.

there was a part where i was living in a house in a trashy area of town. the house was kinda falling apart but it was big and could be fixed up nice. i was waiting for a call from Woman2 because i was desperate to hang out with her, because she was super cute, young, and she showed a lot of interest in me. this is pretty much how i felt when I first met her. when she was super cute, super young, and was the first gurl who was THAT interested in me. I was so excited that I thought I might finally get muh first GF. really she just wanted to have chill fun and see where things went, and she quickly determined she did not want to Date Me. a few quick secsual sessions and making out and cuddling, yeah its fun, but uh oh looks like he’s getting feelings and wants to turn this into something. NOPE.

i guess that is her right to not want a rel, but I was still hurt hehehehe.

also she was a j00 and as of now, i would never want to be in a serious rel with a joo. casual sex maybe. but long term rel? HELL NO.

anyway in the dream i went upstairs to the second floor where i never went, and in a bedroom in the bed there was laying some random dead woman. it looked like a huge gaping hole was in her crotch area and all her insides had been removed. absolutely horrifying. soon after i found a bunch more dead women, similarly mutilated. there had to be like at least 10 dead women up there.

so yeah that was what made the dream really nightmarish. i forced myself to wake up and stay awake for a few minutes just so i wouldnt go back into that dream! and i dont think i did.

kinda weird to have a dream about woman2, but not TOO weird, and much better than dreaming about woman2015! that woman!

heheheh i hate that feel when you think oh i like this gurl because she doesnt wear a lot of makeup or dress like…well, not necess a “skank” or a “whore”, but a High Maintenance Princess who wants to look Classy Sexy to Powerful Men, with expensive dresses, high heels, jewelry, all that shit. a high class whore hahahahaha.

but thats only because she never invites you to those events where she dresses like that. she seems like a total girl next door to you, then one day you randomly see her Dressed Up like a woman who knows how to get what she wants, and you are shocked and a little disappointed, because you thought she had no idea of how to dress like that.

how often does she dress like that? in ways to wrap powerful men around her little finger? probably more than you will ever know. she knows exactly how to manipulate powerful men to get the high quality resources she wants. money, status, vacations, clothes, cars, careers, houses, power.

sheeeeeit. rejected for casual/contingent no benefits job with FEDGOV.

sheeeeeit. looking at the HR woman who invited me to phone interview and she is very well regarded, decent college, AND has a mba-LIKE degree that I really dont understand the difference between this an an MBA, but a lot successful people have this particular degree. she is not some stupid 22 year entry level HR ditz in other words, but a smarter, masters degree, 35 year old HR bossgrrl. be very afraid, hahahahaha.

i hate it when these women ask for SPACE and then BOOM, you cant ask for any CLARIFICATION or YOURE the bad guy. come on. show some good faith. i am HAPPY to give you space if you give me some DETAILS up front, namely, here’s when the space ends, and an assurance that we will communicate about it fully. you give me space for 2 weeks, then you can call me on october 15 (specific date) AND I promise I will write you a long email by ocotber 15.

but when they just say I NEED SPACE STARTING RIGHT NOW and then xpect you to DROP EVERYTHING for them, thats fooking stupid af. IM GONNA CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION WITH YOU FOR AN INDEFINITE TIME

omg i ACTUALLY REPLIED:

IMHO the best way to do “space” is with clearly defined terms and time period. I don’t like when “space” is used as an excuse to avoid communication and avoid working on a mutual problem indefinitely. I think it would be a sign of good faith for the person wanting the space to also offer some sort of communication or clarification about it, like “I need some time to think, but I will contact you on [specific date] to discuss this, or I will send you a letter/email by [specific date].”
Basically, IMHO, clear communication and a clear timeframe are very important, rather than using “space” as an excuse to avoid communicating about complex problems. Unfortunately I think the odds are against you here, so it may help to try to “detach” yourself, of course that’s MUCH easier said than done. Just be careful not to push her, and respect the space as best you can, although I definitely appreciate how frustrating it is when somebody refuses to communicate with you. And also don’t lose sight of the fact that just because you have PTSD, that that means you aren’t “worthy” of a relationship, OR that you have to have that issue 100% resolved before you are “worthy.” Dealing with psychological or emotional issues is a long-term thing, and I think the ideal partner would appreciate that you are making a good-faith effort to manage your condition, rather than expecting you to be 100% “fixed.” Good luck and please keep us updated!

END REPLY

Im sure I will get downvoted by the women always right, men always wrong cuckold manhating phaggots of reddit, then feel ashamed and delete muh post.

26f has been with n=24 guys/people. she says “low twenties” so I take her at her word and assumes that means 24, which is way too damn high for me hahahahahahaha.

big suprise it comes after a raep and this is how she fees free and control again, by racking up a large number in a short time.

no im not saying she deserved getting raeped, im just saying THIS IS A BAD WAY TO DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course all the catladies and sluts and cuckolds of reddit think a womans number doesnt matter, and any guy who thinks it does is immature, creeper, insecure, doesnt deserve a rel until he LEARNS.

“20 is not THAT high of a number” ???!?!?!?!? ARE YOU FOOKING KIDDING ME????!?!?!?!

like this one polyamorous nerd slut says, “SEX IS COMPLICATED!!!!!”

and i would totally agree with that. complicated as in the different emotions and beliefs and situations and attached meaning of the two people doing it. and i am TOTALLY entitled to my belief that its a special thing that should be TREATED as such, adn that casual secs is DEGENERATE and immoral and yucky.

but yeah. just like a woman to want space but then make NO EFFORT to communicate exactly what she MEANS by that, making YOU the bad guy when you try to figure out exactly what space means.

how about this, when you ask for space, PREPARE for the conversation like you would prepare for a test or job interview or presentation. prepare what you are going to say. write a god damn PLAN. write a damn ONE PAGE fact sheet of how long the space ends, the rules of the space, and what kind of good will YOU are gonna offer in return for this good will. dont just demand shit for free. A RELATIONSHIP IS A TWO WAY STREET.

no you dont HAVE to…..it would just be RESPECTFUL to your BF to treat him with respect and treat the rel as a two way street, not a one sided master slave thing.

these women give you these vague things and expect you to read their crazy minds. wtf. so retarded and stupid and like a retarded baby with a flamethrower hahahaha.

wewlad got muh 1 application done today. state unemployment agency job in EXTREMELY diverse area. 16 an hour, GREAT pay rate there, hard to FIND jobs that pay between 12 and 16 dollars!!!!! its always below or way above. cant find that happy medium sweet spot for entry level trash like me hahahaha.

it seems to be a BACK OFFICE job, if it were Front Office Customer Service, I would have gladly thrown it away hahaha. i mean this neighborhood is all arabs and turks and blacks and africans and asians, they are PROUD that 100 languages are spoken in the grade school. i do not want to be serving these smelly, chattering, entitled foreigners face to face. BUILD THE WALL. THEY HAVE TO GO BACK. theres probably a few mexicans and hondurans and squatemalens in there, although theres another area of town for them.

i am a DEPLORABLE racist xenophobe. THIS IS NOT NEWS! didnt you read the ABOUT page?

i do like this baby steps thing. just do ONE job app. just do 15 pushups. just walk 1 mile. just run ONE errand. but the goal is, you do several of these things. so today was successful there. I did 1 app, did 1 errand, did 15 pushups, and am about to go for 1 moderate powerwalk. honestly i use powerwalking as an EXCUSE NOT to do job search. because its so much funner.

also did some tech support around the home by figuring out how to setup wireless printer on several computers (and doing it, hehehehe.)

got at least 2 rejection emails, got 1 email asking for phone interview, got that set up for tuesday, got a real interview wednesday, not bad.

went for 2.2 mile powerwalk, it was threatening to rain. prob could and should have continued. oh well. not as disappointed as if i had not done any job apps hehehe. that is ESSENTIAL. at least do one. if you do more, great. but dont say “TODAY I HAVE TO DO 5. SHEEEEIT, I SHOULD BE DOING AT LEAST 32 IF I WANT TO BE A BARE MINIMUM BIGBOY WORKING MAN. DO LESS THAN 32, YOU DONT DESERVE A 1/10 MUDSHARK SEACOW.” that kind of Self Talk is rather discouraging hahahahaha.

13 DOLLARS AN HOUR

aug 31

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

http://pastebin.com/xUh6Djef

put this in sidebar, i want to caputre the worst article ever AND a few hundred comments

nymag open marriage cuckoldry article by sonmore

INFAMOUS

http://pastebin.com/67FxT9wi

here is the sequel / follow up with the man and his “wife.”

the first article is timeless, classic, godawful, and i will put it in the sidebar As A Ghastly Monument (Ruins of Beverast reference/credit.)

i might be moving Towards A New Cover Letter Hermeneutic where the new Way is really to hit them HARD with a Fully Tailored, Individualized First Paragraph that cups their balls and sucks their dick and appeals to their mission and demonstrates my passion for their company and how i can add value and increase profitability by specifically matching the requirements of the specific job, in the culture of this specific company, addressing these particular pain points, and why i am THE SINGLE BEST CANDIDATE out of millions, and this, and no others, IS my Dream Career.

in other words, REALLY step up my Tailoring of the CL. I tailor the CL a TINY bit, changing a few words or sentences each time. so, do more than that.

also, attempt to aim for the Average Salary of my state, and NOT the whole US, which is 28k, and my state is a LITTLE below that.

yeah 12 to 16 is a ridiculous range to give. i should just say 12 to 14.

or 12 to 13 hahahaha.

people who have college careers and make 40k + cringe at talk like this. they never mention numbers. i mention numbers ALL DAY.

yeah i guess i used to think it was VULGAR too. but now I just think its Keeping It Really Real. How Much Does The Market Say You Are Worth?

no its not the sum total of Who You Are…..but it DOES tell me a LOT about what Your Employer thinks you are Worth, and What Kind of Life you live, and probably the type of people you associate with.

(People tend to associate with people who make about the same amount of MONEY as they do. So I feel a little weird when people who make WAY MORE MONEY than I do, huge winners, invite me to hang out with them. Of course I accept the invitation graciously.)

so yeah fook this 15 dollars an hour bullshit. i am willing to pay my dues and make 13 dollars an hour like the people in muh subaverage state. those fancy phaggots in joo york and phag phagcisco can take their 15 dollars an hour and pozz each others assholes with it. besides in those cities it costs 600000k per month to live in a one room shack tiny house, and it costs 90000000$ for a package of ramen. no thanks.

if a man is complaining about COMMUNICATION all the time, and his wife/gf is never WILLING to COMMUNICATE, and she’s always SHUTTING ME OUT, and so DISTANT, and putting up a WALL, she has to be willing to COMMUNICATE, well then thats him signalling that HE has HUGE communication issues, he’s projecting, HE’S really the one who doesnt know how to COMMUNICATE hahahaha.

i was watching married at first sight and derek was complaining about his distant, unwilling, stubborn, bitchy horrible (but very bangable) wife, who simpyl would not give him a chance. he is kinda a douchebag but he had some GREAT points about communication, where I nodded my head vigorously and said YES. YASSSS. THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

and hes also right that she is no spring chicken at 33, but my god she has a very fookable ass hahahahahahaha. she has to be in the top 10% of attractiveness for 33 year old women. I would DESTROY her.

and this derek is a pretty masculine man too, i’m sure he would destroy her too, but thats how stubborn she is. she probably would have gladly let him destroy her 5 years ago. now im not sure what she wants. probably a total beta bucks sort of guy. she probably WANTS the total doormat that says anything you want hunny. but i have to wonder, who does she want For SECS, at this moment? she’s always gonna want the masculine guy for secs. so why not have secs with her masculine husbando derek?

unless she’s such a sleazebag that she needs TWO or more men. alpha fooks, beta bucks, and never the twain shall meet. i guess she’s never experienced a best of both worlds alpha who is masculine AND makes a ton of money. but  she’s hawt enough to pull such a man (albeit not necessary without sharing him), and doesnt she meet plenty of powerful men as a Stewardess? like the powerful alpha men in First Class and such?

so yeah i am most fascinated in this couple. then sonia and nick a distant second, and i dont really care about the third couple hahahaha.

basically a 33 year old woman with no children is guaranteed to be SUPER CRAZY. her body is telling her to have a baby RIGHT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE and you have to keep that in mind. i guess its ok if you want to have a baby right now too. but its gonna be real hard to have MULTIPLE babies with this woman. she shoulda started having babies AT LEAST TEN YEARS AGO.

fulton sheen on difference between BAD, and EVIL.

 

hilarious first hour with moishe, not sure if florian mentions the sheen story in this one though

start at 1:47:00. this is exactly where florian makes the point about fulton sheen. this is probably the single best episode of nationalist review EVAR: a full hour of moishe being absolutely ridiculous, natt being natt, a bit by “degenerate dan”, a full discussion and reading of that horrendous nymag cuckold article, AND florian uses that to introduced sheen’s point:

that a bad man simply does bad things, sins, like lie, cheat, steal, hurt, kill.

but a truly EVIL man actively and intentionally works to undermine truth, beauty, and goodness ITSELF. true evil seeks to portray vice as virtue. like the cuckold husband who does disgusting mental gymnastics to portray his cuckoldry as True Luv for his wife. true evil just makes a disgusting mockery of truth, beauty, and goodness.

i didn’t actually hear sheen’s actual story, just florian describing it. but i’ve seen plenty of sheen, and he is pretty badass, and the more i hear of florian, the more i like/luv him. he is possibly the new fulton sheen for 2016 alt right. and he is a very young man, like 23 years old. AND he is in seminary to become a catholic priest. AND he is alt right and joo wise and insanely, autistically smart. AND he has created a better joo character than morrakiu, with moishe the mossad handler.

ok florian is definitely in contention to be man of the year 2016 hahahahaha. i sort of wish he wasn’t becoming a priest so he could have white children. but I like the idea of a 1488 catholic priest too.

shit i would say become a priest and have children ANYWAY. let them kick you out.

actually i think you can become a priest AFTER you have children.

florian should def have children. but I very much appreciate him being a MAN OF GOD.

his regular voice is a little autistic, but he is SUCH a great awesome guy it doesnt even matter. this guy is SO good.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fulton_J._Sheen

so yeah. listen to that whole episode. if its not SHUT DOWN by the time this post posts. im downloading that shit again.

the best thing ive heard lately that isnt the fatherland hahahaha. well it does have ryan from the fatherland and i luv him too. great, great men. I would LUV to go to a trs convention and meet these guys.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/08/31/the-daily-shoah-100-ep-88-part-13-of-14-a-hundred-a-hundred-twenty-episodes/

millennial woes on the new daily shoah!!! (100th episode!) NOICE!! I hope he uses some N words and K words and F words and such and isnt such a nice guy hahaha. i dont think hes even been on the shoah before. ITS ABOUT TIME.

sept 1

had weird dream that i was a Rookie Police Officer just starting out, getting On The Job Training from the guys, and I was very quickly On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown, and was very anxious like, whoa guys, i think i’m in over my head, i don’t think im TOUGH ENOUGH to handle this, maybe i’m not cut out for this job, maybe I should quit, I mean really, I dont have it in me! you need a tougher guy!

and the guys were all tough but also generally in favor of me not quitting I think, or they would disrespect me as an inferior pvssy if i quit, and were like, yeah its tough at first, but you just gotta TOUGHEN UP, gotta TUFF GET GOING, gotta not let it bother you, power through it, etc and other platitudes.

i think for most Cops though there is better training than what i experienced in the dream. like when you pay 20 grand to go to Police Academy, that’s where they train you for like 12 weeks hehehehe on all the aspects of being a Cop.

also cops get ongoing paid training because of like lawsuits and shit. peoples lives are at stake, its one of those jobs, like doctors and nurses and shit. lives are in your hands. people could die, and that means million dollar lawsuits, thus you implement official training pogams to Cover Your Ass.

unlike some companies where you dont need to cover your ass so much, and you can Screw and Joo customers with impunity, so it DOESNT MATTER if your people are trained. and the advice from management is, do what you need to do to get them on their way and make/save time and money.

thankfully i never had to Upsell Add On Products and shit. but the employees I was Supporting sure did. and they were generally as poorly trained as we were, and there they were talking to the ACTUAL customers. pressured by THEIR managers to try to sell the customers shit they REALLY didnt need, and also not understanding the products. yet trying to sell them. to people who didnt need them. when the products themselves were overpriced shady bullshit that were thoroughly jooish to the core. buy this extra advanced warranty goy. just in case. only 50 dollars more. just in case of a worst case scenario.

also the company was in general, dying. there is talk the company will be sold. but its a publicly traded company with shareholders. can you have a reverse IPO where a once public company becomes privately held again? i guess you can do esoteric shit with stock buybacks or stock splitting or something.

i guess theoretically the stock price could go SO low, and then there are Equity Firms who might gobble up a Majority Ownership of the company.

i dont know, I don’t have an MBA, I only have like 25 credits of Business Classes, hahahahaha.

which is more than Average, 13 dollar an hour normies have!

but you can also get an ok business sense from working at a company for a few years and just talking to people.

at my company, there was tons of rumors and speculation, among the more savvy people like me, that were even interested in speculation about why was the company doing this, rather than being like idk ikr lol weed lmao.

people like me who were frustrated and wanted to understand why the company and our department was such an egregious, backwards, shameful, disorganized, mismanaged clusterfook, and how it could be improved. well, more training, more actual legit experts who knew what they were doing, more time and money, more quality people actually improving actual quality, more testing, more actual listening to customers, much better executive management who understood the importance of IT as being more than just a Cost Center, etc.

standard!

but yeah its just horribly frustrating to have an angry, stressed person pushing you to fix their problem, because youre supposed to be the expert, fixing problems is your job, and you have no idea what you’re doing, and you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, becuase you really don’t, and you can’t appeal to a Subject Matter Expert in a way that is actually useful for either you or the customer. Most customers would be jsut fine if you said, wow, this is a pretty complex problem, here’s Joe Flabeetz, he’s been here for 2 years and really knows what he’s doing, Joe is great. its much worse when you say, i dont know what to do, let me talk to Joe, and then you “talk” to Joe in a shitty chat room where he is helping 20 other lost souls like you, telling you stuff that doesnt make sense. then you go back to the customer and try to do that thing, and explain it.  NATURALLY, UNDERSTANDABLY, they wonder, can’t you just get Joe over here? he clearly knows what he’s doing, you clearly don’t, so just get him on the case.

but one does not simply just get a SME on the case. because they are just as busy as we are and are not gonna escalate a case without a fight.

you could probably turn newbies into SME’s quicker with REGULAR TRAINING. but again, thats millions of dollars for people who want to get out of here ASAP anyway. or they can just go mad and snapquit like me hahahaha.

it all makes perfect sense: DONT SPEND MONEY IF YOU DONT ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.

the company can afford to not support their employees, shit they can afford to some extent to provide shitty, overpriced, screwjob jooish service to their customers. anything you can get away with. no exchanges, no refunds. all sales final. don’t like it, complain to the better business bureau bitches. don’t like it, do this shit yourself or go to our competitors.

see thats going too far though! why would you knowingly push your customers towards your competitors?

AND THATS WHY THE COMPANY IS FAILING. it used to be a successful, reputable company. now it is a sinking ship and more people can’t ignore that.

so yeah, i think a large part of why my experience was SO NEGATIVE was the culture of the company, being a large “big dog” old school company that was starting to fail on a massive scale. i mean they will implement retarded changes on a daily basis, yet be so Entrenched that they wont implement the actual Radical change needed. just do stupid spazzout bandaid fire putout bullshit. nothing meaningful, nothing that is good for the long term. short term only.

heh. that woman didnt care. she was just like go with the flow, dont let it bother you, dont bother me about it, i dont care, idk lol, dude weed lmao.

i mean women are not well equipped to have logical, sensible, reasonable, insightful thoughts about Business anyway……… but with all these educated women in careers, i think they can at least go through the motions of talking about business.

well, we did not have alot of those type of women in our department hahaha.

so i’m saying i prefer a more business savvy woman?

NO….i don’t even prefer a more intelligent woman. shit she was intelligent ENOUGH. i think she COULD have been taught to be more business savvy, not that she needed be…..

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, really I just wanted her to talk to me more, be nicer to me, and just have a HALFWAY decent conversation about Our Jobs and Our Company!!!!!!! don’t you have an OPINION on this retardation! it affects you as much as it affects me! and she probably DID have an opinion! she just didnt want to talk to me any more. and i was very upset about that. her withdrawing from me and building a huge wall.

so yeah that was deffo the root issue hahahaha.

and I was very frustrated because I was aware of that root issue, and trying to resolve it, and getting NOWHERE, because I needed cooperation and willingness from her, and she refused to get it.

lets meet, lets sit at the table together, talk, and try to MAKE A DEAL. lets negotiate and compromise and both leave unhappy hahahahahahahahaha. and i was sitting at the table all day waiting for her to show up, and she just no called no showed the whole time.

so yeah that why i was very upset hahahaha.

dont just say dont let it bother you. get a thicker skin. believe me I would love to.

now, I had great conversations with a couple of my male friends at the job, and we all should have been promoted to level 3 and never have to take a call ever again hahahaha. make 18 bucks an hour hahaha.

i wasnt asking her to be as insightful as us, i just wanted her to give SOME effort into thinking about this. i mean it was stupid NOT to have righteous indignation over it, and to just say dont let it bother you, and smoke MJ. you can smoke MJ and still have opinions about this ridiculousness! and partially i was JEALOUS of her ability to DISCONNECT from the job like that, do it so Coolly, yet still miraculously do a “good” job and be liked by everyone. well yeah she was a likeable person hahahaha.

ishould probably give agalloch a second try. should i listen to the above album or “the mantle.” i was torn. i went to youtube and tried to compare the Productions, which one sounded better. they both sounded pretty close but maybe this one has a 5% stronger guitar sound. also, i technically tried listening to “the mantle” like 4 years ago and i was like, yeah this is ok, but i guess im not in the mood for something like this.

i guess now at least i am in the mood to give them a try again. i guess i want something thats like beautiful atmospheric black metal, but very melodic and very easy to listen to, with immediately catchy riffs and melodies and songs. but without being so NEW that it gets TOO much into “post rock” or “blackgaze”. something old enough that it was around when I was young and actually interested in music. the mantle came out in 2002, which is right in my wheelhouse yearwise, this one came out in 2006, when i had stopped caring about music, well, thats not true. i recall i was keeping up on the current work of katatonia and goatwh0re. but not being super duper into it, or into anything. lots of drinking. damn. increasing amounts of drinking. stupid. i stopped caring about new music, or music in general, some dark days.

so 2002 was really a much better year for me music wise than 2006…..but ive already heard a bit of the mantle, and if i like ashes against the grain, i’ll try the mantle. also the mantle is like 68 minutes long, which is way too long for an album. ashes is 59 minutes. still way too long, but better than 68.

and of course in 2014 and much of 2015 i was not interested in music so much either, because worrying about the job, or i was devastated by my loss and failure hehehehe. so i guess ive rebounded to a kind of peak right now of interest in music, as in trying to find NEW music, which is remarkable, cuz much of the time i like to Build A Wall and say yep ive got more than enough music thank you, dont need any new stuff. there’s nothing good left out there. its all hipster phaggot degenerate bullshit. theres plenty of stuff  from before 2000 i havent listened to yet.

and its FINE to close the ranks and circle the wagons….but i dont want to do that more than half of the time. i would always like to be SOMEWHAT open to new music.

and agalloch i think is right in line with stuff that i have enjoyed. like when i was young i enjoyed opeth a lot, i still enjoy their older stuff, and i have always enjoyed “in the woods….” a norwegian sorta black metal group from the 90s that was atmospheric and progressive and avant garde when those things werent NEARLY as cool as they are now.

heh like the other day i wanted to listen to hammerfall and i only ended up listening to the first two songs on the album. and that album was only like 40 minutes. perfect length.

went to jcpenneys. it was a mixed bag. i had high hopes.  saw some beautiful high school girls in there with their Moms for Back 2 Skool shopping. nothing wrong with a 35 year old man ogling 16 year old gurls hahahahahaha.  at that age you really want to Protect and Provide for them, and you would Happily swear an oath to their Faithful Fathers that you would not bang them until they are 18, or if the father really wanted grandchildren, then you could have him sign off for age 17, and you would promise to not frivolously divorce her hahahahahaha. and she would promise to not frivorce YOU really.

so yeah you dont look at the beautiful 16 year old gurl and say “yeah id like to pump and dump that trashwh0re, ride hard and hang them up wet” the way you would say about a 30 year old skank. you say “damn i wouldnt mind MARRYING that gurl and having her be the mother of my children. Assuming she’s not ALREADY a huge slut. Let’s have a talk with her father.”

90s and 00s metal. that was my thing. i’m not sure i even lasted 10 good years. but 1996 to 2003 for sure might have been my best years.

in terms of The West, those were not great years. especially 96 to 2001 hahahaha. the late 90s was the high of nihilism and decadence and degeneracy where shit was probably just as bad as it is NOW, except people were more despairing. shit was BAD, although things werent AS Sexualized, and attitudes about Gays were definitely a bit better. but there was nothing to hold onto. there was no alt right. there was no hope for the youth, which i was one. the music was especially shitty. it reflected the nihilism and lack of general quality perfectly. stuff like groove metal and nu metal and korn. well at least there was a ton of catchy alternative pop type stuff. i shoulda got into that more at the time.

there seemed to be much less red pilled young people then. people were not waking up fast enough.

and i do think 911 in 2001 was a bigass paradigm shift, the beginning of a new era, a time of awakening. the sleeping nihilist giant awakens and then stumbles around in confusion for about 10 more years hahahaha. trying to shake off that nihilism and sense of no purpose. trying to figure out what was going on and what to do about it.

for me at least, the internet did not become a HUGE thing until after 2000. from like 98 to 00 we used slow dialup shit and i was already a degenerate, looking at jooish filth and actually reading Erotic Stories. which I guess is slightly less jooish. playing doom and quake. writing ridic stories of me finding a Nice GF and having a traditional monog longterm rel at age 15 hahahaha. see, my main goal was not degenerate.

http://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&chart_type=top&type=album&year=1990s&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=Metal&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=

hahahaha i have been looking at these goddamn RYM lists for like a month straight trying to find the perfect album to listen to

like here is the best metal (incl all subgenres) for the 90s.

http://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&chart_type=top&type=album&year=1996&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=Metal&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=

you can also put in an exact year like 1996 hahahahahaha

also i wanted to say that listening to the daily shoah for the first time in a while (well i did listen when fatherland jim guest hosted a few weeks ago), is that i must remind myself not to forget how powerful mike enoch is. i mean he is really smart and just says the most interesting, smartest, most awesome things. i guess its easy to forget because his voice is ridiculous and he sounds like seth roganblatt. but the things he says are just amazing. here he is doing a 80 hour work week, hasn’t had time to read the news or do anything but work his tech job, and he comes onto TDS and is pretty high energy and very very solid and convincing in the things he was saying, just having very very good conversations where he is contributing most of the quality.

not to crap on seventh son or special guest millennial woes, but yeah this is enoch’s show and he is very very good at what he does. needs to trim down the number of people so he can dominate the conversation any more. him, SS, and MW would have been ideal.

heh i saw my confirmation email for applying to a part time job, and thought OH NO THATS THE FASTEST REJECTION EMAIL EVER!! and then laughed when i realized it was just the CONFIRMATION email that they had received my application. awesome job though hahahahaha. 30 hours a week, 15 dollars an hour, right when i have officially announced that 13 dollars is my new goal, that 15 is out of my league hehehehe.

ITS OFFICIAL. MY PRICE HAS OFFICIALLY GONE DOWN TO 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR. THAT IS MY WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING. hahahaha. no silly, that’s just my worth to the MARKET of human beings!!!!!

at the gas station today I saw a white man arguing pretty rudely with the poor clerk making 9 hourly. i couldnt see the clerk because they were in this little glass booth. it was one of those gas stations that doesnt even have an inside, and the cashier is in a tiny booth/shack. there was a huge line behind this white guy who….i couldnt tell what was going on. it sounded like he was getting charged 36 dollars when he disputed it and thought he should be charged 26, and he wasn’t gonna pay a penny more. he was maybe early 30s and had a stupid mohawk like haircut and tattoos all over his arms. good job. i really hope the clerk was not white, but even if they WERE nonwhite, they didn’t deserve this kinda treatment, and I was a bit ashamed that a fellow white man could be such a dickhead to a poor miserable gas station clerk. Whites are supposed to be Polite Customers. its blacks and arabs who are Asshole Customers.

I thought about going up to the clerk and apologizing hahahahaha. well, not apologizing, but sorry you had to go through that. I know you weren’t trying to do anything wrong. he was way out of line. he’s an asshole.

go get your manager. uhhhh the managers not here today. i’m not sure when he will be back. i can’t do anything for you. well then call the manager right now. i want to talk to him right now. uhhhh he doesnt give employees his phone number. well who do you call if its an emergency? meanwhile there is a huge line of people who just want to prepay for their gas. i avoided all this because i paid at the pump with a card hahahahaha.

mike enoch does not get all super intellectual either. he just gives real talk, absolutely no bullshit, no jerking off. he says like and dude a lot but unlike with most people who say these words a lot, it does not make him sound unintelligent. he is real good at talking to people and just great verbal intelligence on this goy hahahaha. this is the guy you want talking for you. real convincing salesman. but not in a bullshit dishonest way. he needs to quit his job and spend all his time talking and networking and meeting with people. he is a real good people person and communicator.

i wonder what the hell he did before TRS. I guess he had a big libertarian phase and did a lot of 4chan. dont quote me.

listened to the first 2 songs of the agalloch album, they were pretty good. decent production. a blast beat would be nice. also the black metal vocals are pretty unimpressive and really dont seem to fit. something a bit deeper, or alternately, a DSBM or old burzumy scream would be better. the corny clean vocals are better.

uhhh seems to be plenty of “melodic doom” in the vein of old katatonia going on, that i wasnt really expecting, but i guess i’m not surprised, and i am not disappointed either.

overall, very melodic, very very, not super opethy unless you think of an alternate opeth where they continued in the vein of their first two albums…….which is not a problem for me!

but now i have a damn melodic doom katatoniaish song stuck in my head and I don’t know what it is!!!!!!!!!

it has a catchy mournful weeping guitar melody.

it is pretty brave murder day ish, but i dont think its from that album.

it could be from the first october tide album, but i dont think so.

and i’m not sure what else it could be.

sept 2

you know i think it might be beneath the rain or whatever that doom band from portugal with the guy from morgion singing.  on their second main album.

before the rain?

YASSSS there is is, aroun 20:23, actually that motif is all throughout this song “shards” and it repeats a lot, but i was particularly thinking of the higher octave guitar going into the “weeping” range hahahaha.

FOUND IT!!!!

yeah the album is a little long but it has a great production and great style and is pretty underrated and i only found it because i am a big morgion fan.

fooking rate your music lists really interferon with muh job search hahahaha.

fook working for a living like an honorable white man. i am just gonna become a black ingra hahahaha.

yeah i dont want to pedestalize That Woman too much. it’s VERY GOOD to remember I have been Decent Friends with, I have been CLOSE TO OTHER WOMEN before. she doesnt STAND ALONE. I had at least two pretty good female friends where we were decent friends for like approx 2 years. talking freely, being comfortable with each other.

yeah i never fell in LUV with them but thats NOT THE POINT. well, yes and no. yeah that was the one thing that differentiated that woman.

but i never want to lose sight of the fact that i have gotten close and friendly with OTHER women. NOT JUST HER.

rejection email THREE MONTHS after applying for job. the spreadsheet did not even exist until 2 months ago.

entry level position at big well known company, great job, but 95% of its postings are for Senior Level Engineers.

ANYWAY. when you fall in LUV with a woman you FEEL closer to them. it’s a fantasy, its all in your head, but i don’t like describing it like that, thats misleading. because it’s VERY real for YOU. YOU ACTUALLY ARE very close to THEM……………………………but THEY are not nearly as close to YOU. by saying its all in your head, it mocks the realness, truth and beauty of your Luv. so, I wont do that.

like when i fell in luv with women i didnt even KNOW. OF COURSHE i FELT close to them, even though I didn’t even KNOW them!

the DIFFERENCE this time, was I fell in luv with someone I ACTUALLY KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and still, apparently, I didn’t know them well enough!

but yeah i MUST NOT think of myself as some WEIRDO CREEPER ALIEN who CANT get along with women, because I have become close friends with OTHER WOMEN THAN JUST HER.

I just never fell in LUV with any of them, so thats why That Woman was such a big deal.

went to jcpenney and found some great nike revolution 3 running shoes. but they did not have the size in the color i wanted.

so then i went to zappos and ordered the size for about the same price. i hate the idea of ordering SHOES online, but technically i HAD already tried on a pair of the same style of shoe, just a diff COLOR. and i wasnt gonna back down here.

interestingly enough, i was aiming to replace a pair of Revolution 2 which i had bought 2 years ago and are now falling apart and completely worn out. i guess i am a Nike Revolution man. so I should look for the Revolution 4 in 2 more years.

man those one year at a time charts on rym are great. i can see all the albums I was enjoying at the time, ANDDDDDDD see all the ones from that time period that I missed. there was a ton of good stuff in those years that i missed because i was a teen listening to groove metal hahahaha. no i liked half good stuff too, some black metal. i have been a black metal fan for TWENTY YEARS hahahahahahahahahaha. well, maybe 19.

just tell these antiwhite k1kes in interviews that ive been spending the last 14 months looking at black metal charts on RYM hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i havent been smokin any MJ ya k1kes!

not that you should be PROUD about smokin MJ. its for degenerates. its INHERENTLY DEGENERATE.

its TERRIBLE that I still want to do it. that I still want to do it WITH HER. goddam degenerate DEVILS CABBAGE.

if anyone speaks glowing of MJ, publicly humiliate them! and then go smoke it privately hahahhaha.

i really hate successful people who make like 30k a year who say i can smoke MJ and I’m a successful productive member of society! I’m happy with my life and my job and I am a successful family man! and I make 30k a year!

comment sections of news articles on legalizing mj and all these pro-legalization types saying shit like that.

well i am pro legalization too, but more of the “conservative libertarian” way, rather than Have Big Govt Regulate and Tax Tax Tax it! but let each city decriminalize it.

i mean I just imagine all the tax money being wasted anyway, like the 200 million in tax revenue colorado got from MJ. it will just be wasted on public skools in black ghettos hahahaha where the money wont do any good. or paying teacher administrator pensions hahahahahaha.

it wont go to fix shitty roads, it wont go to more police and ems in black crime ghettos, or blight cleanup, or anything useful like that. thats where your MJ tax money will go. just like alcohol and tobacco tax money.

so yeah dont tax it. save the money to build up MJ production companies hahahaha. or even small time MJ producers in the cities where it is legal.

well companies are STILL gonna drug test for jobs anyway, that practice has not changed even in colorado, in fact its probably gotten even more prevalent! cuz now theres more lazy ingrish potheads out there who would make terrible workers hahahaha.

i am being partially facetious since i always try to work my hardest even if i am using MJ afterwards.

but maybe i am just a shitty worker but i think i am a good worker.

i mean shit, i can’t handle the bare minimum at muh old job! my best was worse than their worst! hahahahaha.

NO, that’s not entirely true. for a good long while I was good and getting better. establishing a reputation for excellence. might have even been promoted in 2 more years, hahahahaha, for a company that never promotes from within!

(i of course dont want to work for a company that doesnt promote from within hahahaha)

because hiring outsiders for upper level jobs is a YUGGGGEEEEE red flag of a shitty horrible company. run dont walk.

applied for great job at Dream Employer University, but its 36k. when my skills are only worth 26k hahahaha. isnt it a waste of 25 minutes to apply for this?

i found another one that pays 15 an hour. much better. but still out of my league hahaha.

in fact the jobs that pay 13 an hour, aka 26k a year…..dont usually even list their pay. they just say nothing.

so i guess the lesson is, always apply for the jobs that dont list a number, because that number is probably low enough to be closer to your actual worth.

but still. why not just list the god damn pay for ALL jobs, from 10 dollar an hour to 40 dollars an hour jobs, so people that think the pay is too low, wont even apply.

unless they are trying to overreach and get people who would normally be “too good” to apply????

well that’s not what I do, i apply for 12 and 11 dollar an hour jobs if they seem chill/easy or I like the company.

anyway the 15 an hour job would be GREAT. like 5 miles away, full time office job, for satellite campus of bigass university that probably takes average care of its employees with 401k, health care, and at least 13 an hour wage hahahaha. 9 to 5 hours, weekends off, the works. real solid family man stuff. no joke.

 

ITS RIDICULOUSLY STUPID, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, EITHER DEAL WITH IT, OR BE FOREVERALONE.

aug 17

was watching new season of married at first sight, jeez. i dont generally like the first 5 episodes or so, thru the honeymoon. i prefer them at home when shit gets real. anyway i am most interested in the “blond” white woman (hard to call them “women” because they are not ADULTS, this is why we call them “GIRLS”, because they act like immature little children, 13 years old) and her hubby. 32 year old flight attendant and 35 year old whatever. account manager. he is handsome and charming and masculine but she doesnt like him because he smokes cigs “OCCASIONALLY” and sometimes gambles. she is butthurt on the HONEYMOON because he smoked cigs every day and she thought “this is what occasionally means? erry day?” and she got all distant and bitchy and stubborn. he felt that immediately. he spoke his mind very fully and perhaps “abrasively”, which meant she got more stubborn. but he had very good points, and she had none.

i felt she was not giving him a CHANCE.

both other couples were generally much “better”, but there were still some patterns: the man would be trying to communicate, and the woman would take something he said THE ENTIRELY WRONG WAY, GET TOTALLY BUTTHURT ABOUT IT, and then the man had to give her space while she continued to Brood and not really think any constructive thoughts about it, then grovel for an apology when he didnt really do anything wrong, and the women were looking for any possible reason to get mad at these nice men, and the man would say “I want to make this work, lets FIX this, I’m not going to walk away from this” while the woman would be like “idk. idk. idk if i can do this. i cant even. this isnt gonna work out. were too incompatible.”

basically being CHILDREN that have no interest in communicating, no interest in fixing conflicts, always overreacting, and never giving the man a damn CHANCE.

the MEN are good at communicating and handling conflict…..the women are TERRIBLE. and this is why the women are single at age 33, 34. because THEY fook up every relship theyve ever had by being huge overreacting bitches who have no desire to put in any effort. run away when the going gets tough, which they create by overreacting to some harmless little thing. then blame the guy and make him the bad guy. HE started it.

the show brings out muh woman hating tendencies hahaha.

ironically the ones who got along best were the ones who had secs within 2 days of meeting each other. that definitely created some sort of chemicals that made them want to be nice to each other. and even THEN she was STILL looking to pick a fight with him about some small remark he made, and she thought he was attacking HER. but then they had makeup secs and everything was ok…..for a while.

these women are a goddamn minesweeper minefield, ONE misstep and youre DONE. they are CHILDREN who LOOK for arguments, and then have NO ability to deal with those conflicts. and say the man said ok, ill change and do whatever you want, youre right, im wrong, she’d dump him then too for being a doormat.

obviously the solution is to put the woman in her place and just not take the bullshit at ALL.

anyone watching the show, even women, i dont see how they could say these men are at fault, or these women arent being RIDICULOUS.

even the masculine man doesnt know the proper way to put the woman in her place. cuz HE gets upset and frustrated…..which I can TOTALLY understand! he wants to fix a problem, and she is being stubborn and stupid! it IS frustrating! and women would say stupid shit like” GOD! why do you always want to FIX everything!” as if you shouldnt even TRY to improve problems in your rel, and the only right thing to do is run away and avoid and shut down.

i guess he should have just smiled and patted her on the head and said “thats nice, sweetie”, then fooked her HARD about 88 times in a row. then smoked cigarets right in bed after the secs hahahaha. just take TOTAL CONTROL of the situation with a Confident Smile on his face.

and this guy is generally pretty masculine, the most masculine guy on the show. way more masculine than me!

so i have to wonder, are all women really like this? is this one of those things where i have to say “yeah its STUPID, but thats just the way it is, so learn how to DEAL WITH IT, or stay a woman hating foreveralone virgin forever” ?

ITS STUPID, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, EITHER DEAL WITH IT, OR BE FOREVERALONE.

INCREDIBLY, ridiculously, EXTREMELY stupid. and yeah that IS frustrating, makes you lose your cool.

i can keep my cool with moderate levels of stupidity, but women are so EXTREME with it. i mean they can really push the buttons.

and then i think, well this woman has a MASTERS DEGREE, doesnt she need conflict resolution skills and communication skills for her masters level career as a social worker? instead she communicates like a damn 12 year old girl. thats what rustles me. how can you maintain a PROFESSIONAL CAREER with abysmal communication and people skills like these?

yeah i know social work is a joke, but you still have to have a masters degree and talk to people in tough situations! i mean in an ideal world, it WOULDNT be a joke. it sounds stressful as fook and i dont know how these STUPID DITZES HANDLE it!

they probably just parrot chipper cutesy HR speak to their clients. dont actually listen to them. a woman actually LISTENING to somebody? HELPING them SOLVE PROBLEMS? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! thats a good joke.

like she was never in LUV with some badboi who SMOKED. she would have begged him to stay and would have ate ashtrays of cig butts for him to stay. thats probably why shes so triggered by this guy now. you want to get MARRIED? you havent gotten over the OTHER guy!!!!! take a YEAR or TWO off from dating, relships, and yes FOOKING, and do some SERIOUS thinking and reflecting, so you can get over your past! like im doing! and yes it is hard and long struggle!

so yeah i am an INTERVIEW MACHINE. 2 interviews this week. 2 interviews NEXT week, in fact, on the very same DAY. that is a first. i have honestly never done that before. I guess I have not really paid my dues unless I have had two (OR MOAR!!!!!!!!!) interviews on the same day.

this guy i know who is very ambitious and powerful in his career had a THREE HOUR interview the other day. he took a half day at his Mid Level Career to do a three hour interview with an even higher level career. the type of guy that is looking for Corporate Sponsorship to do an MBA at a Top School, and to get into Global Stuff for Top World Companies. yes of course he’s younger than me and went to a less prestigious school than me hahahahahahaha. he just has a strong attitude and work ethic and is not a despairing virgin neet, but a strong healthy well adjusted White Man!

meanwhile my goal is just to get a 14 dah job at a place that doesnt drive me COMPLETELY MENTAL. i dont have those kind of long term goals! like i want to do this and that and that and this. no. i just want to SURVIVE in an entry level job that i dont ragequit, stay in it forever, and hopefully get promoted for muh good work, which i prob wont, because noone promotes anymore, you have to move to a diff company.

its like women will blame you for everything, make you the bad guy every time, so you have to be really good at saying NO YOURE WRONG, YOURE OVERREACTING, youre a BABY who cant communicate or listen or compromise or deal with things like an adult.

i admit that women are challenging and you have to learn how to deal with them, thats just the way it is, dont hate the player, hate the game hahaha.

but HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH? HOW RETARDED CAN YOU BE?

and just seeing these ridiculuos women on TV for a reality show, i mean this is all spun by joos, this cant be REAL!!! and then seeing some of the same shit i saw in reality!!!! and said to my self geez i hope not all women are really like that!

like women are ALWAYS gonna blame you and get mad at you and if you really take their bullshit seriously, youll think you are the most terrible person ever! when you are not.

these “women” (“girls” really, this is why we call them girls, you dont get to be called a woman unless you are mature, like actually literally mature hahaha, and these 33 year old women act like foot stamping tantrum throwing 13 year old girls that were never put in line by their fathers.)

how do THEY make 40k, 50k a year? by bullshitting people, parroting bullshit, and never actually getting anything done. a woman solving a problem? let alone a complicated confusing problem? NO WAY.

heh women are like ingras and joos and babies all rolled up into one. god damn i h8 women hahahaha. i wish we didnt need them to reproduce. i wish we didnt get feelings for them. men are just much better PEOPLE.

but yeah. how can they WORK and be more SUCCESSFUL and make more MONEY than ME? they cant handle SHIT, let alone the Complicated Difficult Communication Conflict shit and People Problems in the work day.

their solution is to blame the other person and avoid them, those bad horrible people.

and this WORKS for them! they never have to change their shitty ways! they never have to grow up and learn to be adults!

i am very immature but i am way more mature than THIS!!!!!

its like the guy derek said, ok i left you alone to cool off but its clear you havent thought about this at all, because you’re giving me the SAME bullshit, can only repeat the same thing like a broken record, you are not willing to compromise or offer any solutions, you are just butthurt at me because i smoke 1 cigarette a day. COME ON. you gotta be a little flexible here, and not GIVE UP on me just because I smoke 1 cigarette a day. or 2. who CARES.

and if he said oh baby i will quit smoking for you, she would just disrespect him for being a doormat.

it was WEIRD because he was a handsome, charming man, I was surprised to see her being so bitchy to him, and he def was too. the gurl is a fookin basket case drama queen and no man is good enough for her, except for some long gone badboi from 10,12 years ago she never got over. enjoy your cats and growing old alone and childless and husbandless. and you dont even have a powerful career. damn. more likely shell just get knocked up by some arab or ingra who’s not afraid to use his pimp hand.  but she looks ok for 33 year old, very nice body.

but a sensible man who is not lonely or desperate will RUN NOT WALK when he QUICKLY sees how RDICULOUS she is! i am thinking handsome charming derek is tired of banging sluts and is getting desperate for a long term wife. well he got matched with a real dumpster fire here.

this “team of experts” are nothing more than conniving j’s looking to create drama.

but yeah i cant turn away from this stupid show.

because a big part of it is showing how Couples Handle Conflict. and so often they DONT, because the WOMAN is so immature, and overreacts and blames the man, the man wants to work on things, and the woman doesnt, is so stubborn, and never gives the man a fair chance.

http://nypost.com/2016/08/16/theres-trouble-in-paradise-on-married-at-first-sight/

no comments. even when nypost poses the huge question, is heather justified in being so upset over dereks smoking? NO OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!

nick and sonia. i kinda like them. well, i like him. he is a lot like me, only way more handsome and successful. she is ok half the time and stupid the other half. she seems like she would be a good match for him…..but he’s moving too slow even for her! i guess shes not as much of a nice gurl as we thought. how many guys has she fooked after 1 date. and here she says she wants to do things differently and go slow. yet before the honeymoon is over, she’s butthurt at him for moving too slow! and they’ve known each other for like 5 days.

she wants to move slow, and 5 lousy days is still too slow for this slut hahahahaha.

and i probably like to move even slower than poor nicky boy. i mean i like to move WAYYYYY SLOOOWWWWW. I tried to point this out to women, and they were still surprised at how slow i moved, and still dumped me because of it. somewhat. that and they didnt want a real rel. just casual hangouts and casual secs.

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/heather-seidel-derek-schwartz-married-at-first-sight-drug-scandal-109728

this one suggests HES NOT SMOKING CIGARETTES, HES SMOKIN THE WACKY TABBACKY!!!!

and she thought that was the end of the world, and they end up getting divorced before the 6 weeks are up.

she got a dui in 2011. derek tries to show her how ridiculous she is by saying “thats like me saying you are an ‘alcoholic’ ” and that was a bad move, because even though we men understand what he’s getting at, women are gonna get bitchy and think he’s being immature by saying she’s literally an alcoholic, which is not what he’s saying. she’s not smart enough to understand his point, like this is how ridiculous you’re being.

but yeah the show is being dishonest joos by not telling us that he’s smokin MJ.

but it is honestly a stupid move for him to bring MJ in a plane to their honeymoon. or did he buy it there?

heh its funny how articles on vice have like 2 actual comments and 3 or 4 spam commenters. here is a big well known publication but no ones actually reading their shitty articles.

i was reading a review of the new forteresse album on vice noisey, they have this metalgrrrl kim kelly who IIRC, actually has decent taste in metal hahahaha.

this album which came out last month. her review was not very edifying but others have been saying this is a great album, totally great example of quebec black metal, they are quebec nationalists/separatists, there is some antiwhite vice phaggot in the comment saying they cant be separatists, white devils like them STOLE the land from the natives in the FIRST place, etc.

anyway i feel the LORD is guiding me to this album at this moment, on this day. the LORD guides me to weird albums and sometimes I just listen to them less than once and say NOPE this is not what I was hoping for. like that lyrinx album i listened to recently. totally underwhelming.

anyway i am making actual progress by having tons of interviews, 2 interviews in 1 day, getting less nervous during interviews, just racking them up like experience points, and one day i have to inevitably Level Up (get offer.)

seeing that super successful acquaintance of mine, i couldnt help but COMPARE myself to him and say god damn, im so far BEHIND him, he’s 4 years younger than me, i could have been just as successful as him if i hadn’t made those mistakes, now i can never get on this track, i dont have the drive and disclipline he does, he deserves a good woman, i dont, he is so much better than me, im jelly of him, hes such a winner and im such a loser, etc.

when in fact i HAVE been making SOME progress lately and I REALLY dont want to compare myself like that.

hes a good guy though, its just really disappointing hes a SWPL oven middle class progressive leftist bla bla. fookin atlantic reading, new york times reading, npr listening, bernie loving, you name it. yet he has a high-paying Corporate Career. But he is somewhat in the Creative end of that, rather than Financial or Engineering.

wow this forteresse sounds pretty good actually. but i am just listening to it on One Earbud while trying to do Job Applications hahahaha.

this time i got the earbuds that are kinda like earplugs, with the rubber tips that go deeper into your ears. kinda like them. ok 3 applications today. i can do better than that hahahah. gotta pay the dues. put in the reps hahaha.

are quebecois separatists also likely to be pro white?  how much is damn canada oppressing the quebec people hahahaha. well i dunno. maybe its like texas people wanting to secede. i can understand that. when your country has turned into ZOG that wants you and your family dead hahahaha. does forteresse know about ZOG hahahahaha.

or are they huge pussies that say HURRR DURRR WERE NOT EBIL RACISS, we luv mudslims and blacks and joos hahahaha.

their first album, the drums kinda sound like a drum machine. i do not really like that although the guitar sounds good. on the new album they def have a real drummer.

FOOK drum machines. just hire a god damn session drum, pay him some MJ and alcohol, or play the drums yourself. period. mikko aspa can do it, alex meilenwald can do it. IMHO better to have amateurish sounding drums than a damn MACHINE. did the classic BURZUM albums have a drum machine? HELL NO!!!!!

so the forteresse drummer is fiel and is in a ton of other bands including his own solo project.

just let the drummer know he is not a real part of the band and you will pay him to play the way you want him to play, ie, in service of the damn SONG, not like some flashy show stealer who is louder and flashier than everybody else. let him do that in his own band. thats why they call them session musicians hahahaha. they are your EMPLOYEE, but in a very friendly and laid back way. just play the way i tell you to play and i’ll give you MJ and booze and food and maybe some cash. and maybe your band and my band can play shows sometime. and by the way can you be a live drummer for my band too hahahaha. ill pay you for that too.

3.8 mile powerwalk, then shower, made some cigarets, in 10 minutes go to social event, maybe see 1 qt gurl worth beating the meat to hahahaha

1 think 500 will be a more accurate goal than 400 in terms of needing 500 applications to get a job. like 1 out of 23 applications gets an interview, and 1 out of 23 interviews get a job.

and i am only at 14 interviews so far. yeah it is good to get experience in interviewing itself. you DO get better. but yes it IS ridiculous that you need to do 23 interviews to get a job! they never had to do that in 1990! even my successful acquaintance didnt have to do that to get his first job after college! in fact he got that job with relatively little effort and described it as pretty easy and quick.

aug 18

rejected for office assistant II position about 7 weeks after applying, no interview of course, but the rejection letter was sent by an INTERN hahahaha. ie a 20 year old university slut. an intern in the city human resources dept. well to her credit the letter was written decently, and she is prob only making 10 bucks an hour. but yeah it sucks not even being called for an interview for a 28k job hahahaha.

woohoo, it is ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of me sending The Final Email to That Woman.

well, yesterday technically. aug 17 2015 i sent the final email. yesterday was aug 17 2016 hahahaha.

somehow the calendar says 367 days today, but i think because 2016 was a leap year and had extra day in feb haha.

401 days since i last talked to her on july 14 2016. i like 400 days as a more round number than 365 days hehehe.

but yeah it doesnt SEEM like that long. i am getting OVER her, but it seems like i just saw her and talked to her a few MONTHS ago. the time really flew by i guess hahahaha. but not in a great way. still fookloads of pain. but the worst has passed.

over 9 months since i have looked at jooish porn filth. not bad uh!

well, technically i saw a few images a couple times, but i turned it off fairly quickly. one time was for research purposes, to determine whether the girl in this one vidya was evalion. (dont think it was.) another time, i stumbled onto some slut on tumblr. i think because she looked sorta like That Woman. i was actually trying to prove it wasnt LITERALLY that woman!  i thought it might actually BE her! not that that woman was at all the type to slut it up on tumblr, or in real life. she was very discreet about her slut life hahahahaha.

41 days since level 1 haircut and i am thinking about getting another hahahaha.

heh. the fact is, going into interviews is not nearly as stressful as every single god damn day on the actual job. under pressure to produce and fix things as fast as possible and you have no idea what is going on, while trying to bullshit to everyone around you that you DO know what you are doing. and your head is spinning and confused ALL DAY. at work, and when you come home. you NEED drugs to numb or stop your mind. you wake up in the middle of the night mind spinning and racing and confused. this sense of confusion all day every day really wears you down, and then trying to be ON and put up a False Front at Work. you become mentally and emotionally weak and confused. your wife loses all respect for you because you are acting like a scared baby animal. she leaves you and says fook you you weak little phaggot, you dont deserve a woman as good as me. i’ll go find a real man like tyrone biggums hahahaha. who isnt INSECURE and doesnt have all these ISSUES and isnt so CRAY CRAY. you say baby im just really stressed out about muh job, and she says so is everybody else. DEAL WITH IT or i will find a man who can.

and you think DAMN i must have been a HORRIBLE person to deserve this punishment. i bet JAIL would be better. at least there they are more honest and straightforward about raping you in the ass.

its not just dislike, but fear and terror and dread and anxiety. disliking is nothing. that sense of dread and fear is really what kills you. like a cornered baby animal without its family. lambs to the slaughter.

i can deal with simple dislike. that’s no problem at all compared to that fear and anxiety and dread and panic. again, like the end of mulholland drive, where she is sitting there, knowing something horrible is gonna happen soon, but not sure exactly what or when, then something unexpected and weird happens, she flips the fook out, cant stop screaming hysterically, and the automatic reflexive response is to frantically scramble to the nearest gun and K yourself!!!!!!

that kind of shit is what i REALLY dont like hahahaha. not just oh muh job sucks damn lmao.

its kinda like Chronic Panic. and then you cant think right at all.

and i fear EVERY real bigboy 28k job is gonna be like that. or at least every job for an actual COMPANY. like real companies that are struggling to either not go broke, or to GROW, and they PUSH everybody to their fookin limits of sanity hahahaha. and the managers have no idea whats going on, just that they need to PUSH everybody HARDER. MORE. BETTER. FASTER. BETTER. GROWTH. SCALE.

and when you get home, you dont just want MJ, you want a potent cocktail of MJ, booze, benzos, and opiates to just OBLITERATE yourself into a total zombie STUPOR. that is the only way you could really relax and unwind and decompress.

well the first 3 to 6 months of ANY job are gonna be like that as you learn the job!

i dunno. like with the college police IT job, i did not get that impression at all.

or even the nursing home payroll job.

now, at my last awful job, the company was struggling, they are still struggling, and its no surprise they closed our entire department. i predicted it while i was still there. CALLED IT like a year before it actually happened.

i should be studying for the interview tomorrow by Knowing their company inside and out!

it is a big multinational corporation hahaha. something everybody has heard of.

ok prepared muh study sheetz. interviewing with 3 men tomorrow. i hate these goddamn panels. but i have handled 5 person panels. normally there are 2 people.

this job has potential to get confusing, as a TECHNICIAN for an electronic devices company. shit yeah they could get technical. and they probably have senior technicians who get to know the shit better after 2, 3, years.

yeah this company does not look like good long term place. the health insurance is supposedly good, but it is run by tyrannical asshole azns who are totally out of touch with USA. the county job i am interviewing on monday, i am much more interested in the long term.

however, i am not in the habit of turning down job offers hahahaha. well, just the one, a post office CCA. i am thinking this electronics  job pays about the same, has good health care start right away. but anyway the company culture is supposedly very asian. and not in the good japanese way hahahaha. but in a less honorabru way. like they are clearly not attracting Top US Talent to make them seem like a really US-friendly country. weird stilted english language on their web site. their best people get out and go to better companies. the top management is a revolving door of asians. who bully their underlings and really dont have a good business sense or long term vision hehehe.

hooo boy. i always fear that its the Bad Jobs that will make me an offer.

one of the 3 guys tomorrow is one of the native asians that they send out to run facilities in foreign countries like the US hehehe.

well, tell them I am waiting to hear back from macomb county and that if offered that job, I would take it.

how good of engrish does the asian manager speak. prob not good. glassdoor stories of asian execs chattering and none of the gringo underlings know what they are saying.

well if im not super enthusiastic, they wont hire me anyway hahahahaha.

well this one guy i used to work with, and i really liked him, he was great. he was a new guy who got placed right next to me. naturally he had lots of questions because the training is horrible and everyone is confused all the time. I wanted to change that Culture, so I was happy to help him, and anybody I could. But he was also very SHARP, he was not a dumber person like some of the people there. he was masculine and handsome and charming and had great People Skills, and he handled phone calls like a BOSS even though he’d never had a job like that before. I instantly liked him and we got along well. within 2 or 3 months he had gotten a job with the company I am interviewing for tomorrow. he made it sound really awesome. I was sad when he left.

9 months later or so I saw him in the grocery store, he said send me a resume and I can make sure you get an interview, things are going good there. I got cold feet and never emailed him. but when I started putting effort into muh job search, I applied at his company regularly. so anyway I will mention his name tomorrow.

stories that the asian asshole bosses force you to DRINK when they go do asian karaoke after a 16 hour shift and like all high pressure asian businessmen, they get falling down drunk on saki or rice liquor. drink 20 drinks in 60 minutes until they vomit and pass out on the sidewalk hahahahaha. pass out in their car with vomit all over the interior of the car hahahaha.  these guys are the top managers of your department. they are your managers manager. your manager never gets promoted because he’s not asian, but he starts acting more asian because he takes shit from asians all day hahahaha. meaning, you btich and bully and belittle. all stick and no carrot hahahaha.

everyone is like khan from king of the hill but worse hahahaha.

well i guess i would rather work here than that post office job. try to survive a year. try to find MJ hookup if there are any Blacks there hahaha. make friends with shy lonely white people. but youre not supposed to befriend the outcasts, because then you become an outcast yourself right?

so become friends with the cool kids, pretend you are a cool kid. befriend the asians. do gangam style dance moves with them hahahahahahahahaha and bring them bottles of saki.

im not one of those pathetic whites who has some hardon for asians. fook asians hahahaha. they’re not cute o kawaii, they’re not interesting, they are ratty little yellow rat people hahahaha.  definition of crabs in a bucket. yeah but anime and samurais are kewl.

ok we can agree that the japanese are the best asians……..but these are not japanese, and i STILL dont have a HARDON for japan. NOT an otaku weeaboo. fook that. even the BEST of the asians do not interest me, beyond I have some desire to watch kurosawa or ozu films, i like some jap horror movies, and i liked mario and zelda games. thats IT.

i mean these particular asians are just a tiny step up from the CHINESE in my book hehehehe. i guess i have already doxxed myself hahahaha. now the asian crab people can fire me. good riddance hahahaha.

i mean i COULD just be unenthusiastic. say that I enjoy a democratic, non-hierarchical workplace where the local facility gets a lot of authority in the eyes of world HQ. or i could just turn down the job offer if i get it hahahaha. i mean i will probably stop applying here at any rate. be like i gotta take days off to interview at better places hahaha.

i mean how the hell do you keep taking half days off to go to interviews? what do you say? im going to a doctors appointment?

i mean my old workmate was looking to get out of our old work ASAP. he looks like he is happy to stay with this asian company. if its good enough for him its good enough for me.

he was in the military though. deals with pressure and people under pressure better than i do. what if he is a total degenerate though. who knows. shit. he was nicer to me than That Woman was at the end! He was a positive thing in my negative day of work! she was just another negative thing in the shit sandwich!

didnt realize you could just listen to the police scanner on a web site. listening to police scanner of nearby city that used to be white suburb but is gradually shifting towards nonwhite crime and lots of white trash and drugs too. so you listen to the police scanners to really put your finger on the pulse hahahaha. supposedly. but it doesnt make much sense. i cant understand a word they are saying. how can THEY understand each other? and these are white cops!

yeah ok i studied a decent amount of the bullshit which this particular division of the company does. car related electronics lets say. the asian manager can bust my balls and i can tell him i wipe my ass with zipperheads faces hahahaha. they wish they could be samurais like the nips but instead theyre little needle dicked alcoholics who beat their wives and children and lust over white women that choose deadbeats and ingras over them no matter how much money they make as businessmen. white men LUV asian women (i dont at all), but white women HATE asian men hahahaha. well thats good, i wish they hated black and arab men as much. fookin race traitors hahahaha.