14BB 14ee 1433 1387 1489 1589

mar 29

ok survived the day hahaha now i am reaching my crash time of 330 pm hehehe when REALLY  should be working till 5 pm if i start at 8 am. anything less is PATHETIC.

heh well you know whats MORE pathetic, is being a jobless NEET hahaha.

whats REALLY sad is 50 year old hwyte men who are jobless neets and so they sit in the library for 8 hours a day Applying For Jobs. honestly guys. it only takes 550 applications and 320 hours to Get A Job. in other words, you should stop seeing these men after 2 months because then they will have found a job. but they DONT. this is, i fear, because the jobs just arent there, also, 50 year old hwyte men are being DISCRIMINATED against hahaha

i was trying to find some leftist thing i saw today on the shitty leftist site medium.com written by a white marxist on why no, the white working class isn’t really dying off, and if it WERE, that wouldnt be so bad, would it? but i couldnt find it, and found a bunch of other shitty leftist articles instead and “threw up a little in my mouth”.

there is this popular leftist hipster brooklyn podcast called “chapo trap house” which i guess is what all the super cool leftist kids listen to now . i guess you could listen to it if you want to Know Your Enemy. well, you don’t. you already know they are pvssy wimpy unmasculine joos. wimpy white writers who say UGH. WHITE PEOPLE. and then cant bang slutty brooklyn white writer women because they are getting used as cvm dumpsters by masculine alt right chad nationalists hahahaha. that or negros hahaha.

there was an interview with one shitlib 28 year old harvard sociology phd student who does a shitlib magazine called “Current Affairs”, and he said, the thing the alt right does better than us is that they make themselves look COOL to weird outsider kids.

he’s not wrong!

hey i say thank GOD. back when I was young, the right was losing this battle, and leftist shit joos still looked COOL to rebellious teens. now the pendulum has swung the other way. im happy about that…..but nervous about when the pendulum is just gonna swing BACK again. we wont be on top forever, lads. trvmp will sell out and or only be one term. 4 short years. we’d better have a REAL movement established by then because our fooking RACE is DYING. we dont have any more time to lose.

everything you read that was written by a woman is crazy shit. don’t read stuff written by women because THE GOOD WOMEN DONT WRITE. I wish they did! they need to make themselves HEARD just to say not all women writers are like that! not all women are like women writers!

these degenerate leftist jooed journalist wimmin writing with filthy language about all the cox theyve taken and how evil trvmp is and how abortion is so great and diversity is so great and whites are so lame and virgin men are so bad. not all women are like this!!!!!!!

but the good ones don’t write articles that get hugely upvoted and shared!

you gotta really dig to find the article by a low-number woman who enjoys her traditional life!

i mean if youre reading VICE or MEDIUM  what the fook do you THINK youre gonna find.  and there are not really lots of women on the Alt Right. not that i WANT there to be. we are still figuring out womens role hahaha. well not really. stay in back and support us. give us children. dont start drama.

but maybe you can write articles, non dramatic articles, about the joys of a traditional life. that would be some good moral support and just let us know there are good women out there.

ok heres what im thinking. these WOMEN are such good voices for the marxist joo, with this horrible marxist jooish writing they do. its clear they are true believers in this crap. no one can speak marxist jooish bullshit better than a woman. they might arguably be better than MEN at it!

so do you think a women could be equally good at writing for Our Side?

I tried to think of a good female 1433 writer and couldnt. maybe savitri devi. i dunno.  i mean who is the female GLR? or the female andrew anglin for that matter? i mean i dont think we NEED one though. that isnt womens JOB. thats MENS job. i’m just basically asking women to write some moral support articles and say keep up the good fight lads, we’ll stand by you, even the betas and omegas who dont have a woman to literally stand by you.

im not even interested in other women. i’m semi interested in BANGING young beautiful women, but I’m more interested in just FORGETTING about THAT woman. because i still want HER. want her more than other women, i and i dont want that. i would love to want another woman like that. please GOD hahahaha. and just replace that woman always and forever. stop wanting her. just forget about her.

rational response: when some beautiful young gurl is being NICE to you and showing INTEREST in you, it will be REALLY EASY to FORGET about THAT woman and to get feelings for a new woman.

and yeah about the women writers, there should be a few more women writers writing moral support articles to support the men who are out there fighting. show some god damn gratitude, especially to the men who won’t get actual gratitude from an actual woman. these are still hwyte men too, and we need THEM just as much as we need women.

i guess i just want women to show more respect to Beetas and Omegas. they way they treat you like the scum of the earth, its like a healthy man treats a dirty whore. and being a Beeta simply isnt anywhere NEAR as morally deplorable as being a flthy whore. its not even necessarily inherently immoral to be a beeta male! but these women sure treat you like it sure IS!

but yeah hwyte men need to rise up and be strong and lead again. and then they will stop being beetas and women WILL show them gratitude and loyalty. but we have to SHOW STRENGTH first. strong horse. nobody likes a weak horse.

and i have certainly failed COMPLETELY at being a STRONG man. and yeah that is frustrating.

so yeah i would say maybe some YOUNG leftists and joos cant be held liable for literally wanting to genocide the white race. because most leftists are NAIVE and dont think its about hwyte genocide, its about making a Equal World where we can all live in Social Justice. We’re not trying to EXTERMINATE HWYTE people! you sound like a crazy person when you say that!

in fact maybe just a MINORITY of jooish leftists are NOT naive and ACTUALLY realize its about hwyte genocide.

so you dont charge them with genocide or first degree mvrder, you charge them with manslaughter and sentence them to getting the fook out of our country.

didnt mean to K hwytes? oh well, youre still K’ing whytes and now you must do the time.

and here i am, i dont even want women hahahaha, i just want one particular woman i havent seen or spoken to in almost 2 years hahahah. get over it!

actually even more i wish i had a work ethic like most normies. to work 20 hours a day for years just for a CHANCE at a 30k a year job.

hint: get a engin degree and you will have an easy time getting a 30k job. electrical, mechanical, chemical. you even get a CHOICE hahaha.

and you can totally do it by age 20 or maybe even 19. this is what we need to sell to young white boys. like, younger than 14. because we want them to start COLLEGE at age 14. have the engin degree at age 18. start making 40 grand at 18. be making 80 grand by 30. damn. establish 49 employee companies and hire only whyte men. by acreage in rural areas. have the wives do a hwyte homeschool network.

shit could do homeschool college as well. shits all online anyway.

but i do think a 16 year old boy taking brick and mortal college classes with 19 year old sluts is perfect.

well, perfect is getting married to your High School Age Sweetheart. the next best thing is being a “fun project” for a 19 or 20 year old slut when you are 16.

but where you gonna meet them in engin classes, also if gurls arent going to college and becoming sluts in the first place.

easy, you meet them through their fathers when they see you as a promising young man making good money at age 18 who is looking for a nice 17 year old gurl.

i am very interested in education, but i just want to throw the whole jooed system out and start over. is there a masters degree in THAT? are there jobs in THAT? in destroying the system and starting anew? hahahaha.

well DISRUPTION is a big thing in companies now hahahahaha.

DISRUPT THE JOO.

START UP THE ROTORS.

FIRE UP THE OVENS.

you will know them by their handiwork.

funny that we goys see only their wreckage but never them themselves. so you come to hate women and hate negros and hate nonwhites when really none of them deserve your hate. father forgive them for they know not what they do hahahaha.

well, def the women dont. and the negros. pretty sure the arabs know what they are doing.

so youre saying an arab is smarter than a white woman?

NO, i’m saying that all women are easily cowed and swayed. they are natural followers.

unfort i am a natural follower as well, never was big on leading.

really i dont want to go through the STRUGGLE of MEETING somebody, getting to KNOW someone, putting in the two years to actually get to know and trust them, it takes a long time, and i already had that FAMILIARITY and TRUST and KNOWLEDGE with That Woman.

but heres the thing. me Getting To Know her didnt feel like a goddamn STRUGGLE. it happened so NATURALLY. there was no effort or heavy lifting or forcing.

and that probably contributed to me falling in luv, feeling like this was a SIGN from GOD, that she was the ONE, because i expected so much STRUGGLING getting to know a woman, as I do now, and that didnt happen at ALL. the struggling came later, in trying to deal with The End. basically just trying to confirm that i was not a horrible traitor who had done a horribly immoral thing. i had to do all those mental gymnastics myself hahahaha.

hey i admit it i was no innocent. i deserve to be ashamed for some of it, and god damn was i ever. i was a coward weakling. it LOOKED bad. and the timing was bad. i KNEW she was having some family issues and was pretty stressed about that. in the long run that is what i will feel worst about. but i will get over it hahahaha. the fact that i “waited” until she was facing something outside of her control in her family, to “spring” this on her, when she was already super stressed out about that.

but again i dont think this is betrayal or treason or warranted treating me as such.

and it was no single joo who turned her father into a muh dick hwyte negro deadbeat, but through the partially-covert actions of many joos and many accomplice goys who didnt fully realize the type of degen fatherless muh dick culture they were creating.

does anyone GO INTO education with the idea that, welp, i can’t DO, so I might as well TEACH? I think most teachers would violent protest that old Pejorative saying “if you can’t do, teach.” but i would GO INTO teaching with that defeatist attitude hahaha.

also theres a popular idea that you need ot fail to succeed. well not if you fail so god damn much that you stop wanting to TRY, or your attempts become so half-baked and half-assed that they couldn’t possibly succeed.

also i wish you could fail in the workplace more. but you cant, or then you get fired for losing the company money. thats why people are perfectionists who are afraid of failure!

maybe my dream job would be working in a Dual Enrollment program at a comm college. so i could get 14 year olds into college and not a thoroghly jooed one. def would need a masters degree for this job though. and there are damn sure not a LOT of jobs in this field hahaha.  there would be FIERCE competition amongst a group of people with masters degree in Dual Enrollment College Administration.

ideally it would be in a more rural area so as to maximize the number of Hwytes i would serve and minimize the number of nonhwytes. i dont want to HURT any nonhwytes, I just want to HELP hwytes MORE. serve and strengthen my race.

i wouldnt have to worry about any J’s because they simply dont go to these working class colleges. period.

would i h8 joos less if i knew any working class joos? if I thought there WERE any working class joos? but there ARE! though def not the norm for them. those people hahahahaha.

no more than 25% of joos are working class. and that is a VERY generous number hahahaha. prob closer to 5%. source needed hahaaha.

insanely cute and nice 18 year old hwyte girl working at local arbys hahaha. seems like a literally nice sweet uncorrupted unjooed gurl. also is 100% undeniably hwyte. nothing questionable at all in this one. if i were hanging out wiht her and she was being NICE to me AND showing that she would be interested in Monog Dating…..i would forget That Woman ever existed!!!!!

but honestly this gulr is way out of my league. when i was 20 i might have judged her for working at ARBYS hahaha. now i dont care.  i say good for her. as long as she doesnt use it as a slippery slope to degeneracy or opioid epidemic or mudsharking. if she has a good father all will be fine.

because of her nice and innocent demeanor i would assume she does has a good father. but i shouldnt do that. because That Woman had a nice and innocent demeanor, not even demeanor, she was actually nice and innocent but she had a horrible father!

anyway, i prefer nice, innocent women to bitchy, slutty women hahahaha. what a concept.

but yeah. i do hate the idea that SHE WAS TOUGHER THAN ME. she, who i held in such high regard, outcompeting me on TOUGHNESS, a quality i hold in the highest regard.

yeah but if she was REALLY actually tougher than me, she would have just told me, sorry, we’re done, you’re not a BAD GUY and i dont hate you, but I just dont feel that way, the end. we had a good run while it lasted. then i prob would have had months less of pain hahaha. had a better experience. wouldnt be so butthurt about her being TOUGHER than me.

language is powerful hahaha. lets stop calling it the jooish QUESTION and start calling it the jooish PROBLEM. daily stormer does this hahaha. so did GLR.

by page 80 in “whyte power” GLR names the J and he doesnt stop naming them after that point hahaha.

its FUNNY how the pro legalization MJ degenerates which i probably am, seem to think that MJ does not affect your driving AT ALL. they completely dismiss that out of hand the way people dismiss nazis. this is disingenuous, bad faith, and jooish af. how can you say alcohol impairs your driving but gettig blazed af doesn’t??????!!!!!!

i just want to get blazed as fook! i’ll even try not to drive hahahaha.

yeah i dont think it damages your driving ability as much as alcohol. but to say it has no effect is ridiculous. you might as well do away with dui laws hahahaha. which i might not be against hahahaha. but without dui laws i might start drinking again after like 8 years. i actually probably would.

so that proves these laws are GOOD?

i mean its terrible drunk drivers K people.

so HOW terrible is it when people have 3 drinks and then drive?

yeah but i wasnt having 3 drinks and driving. what i was doing WAS terrible, law or not.

but it is stupid you can pass out drunk in the drivers SEAT of the car and get a DUI. i actually did that once hahahaha. slept it off in the front seat. didnt have the keys in. is that a critical thing?

anyway i fully admit to drinking too much. having a medium Drinking Problem. I did it and i am not proud of it!

mar 30

found this chrome extension called onetab which sends all your tabs to one single tab which contains a list of links. the idea is so they are not running and eating up your memory with 31 tabs of jooish pron hahahaha.

really simple concept. basically have a list of your most frequently used links and then click on them to load the page rather than have them open all the time. but i like anything that can Reduce Muh Memory Footprint hahaha. OneTab. you can easily add and remove links. not add duplicate links. its basically like history or bookmarks but your top 20 pages.

and then just open like 3 or 4 tabs at a time rather than 14 hahahaha.

its EMBARASSING  I havent used this or a similar app before (there are several to choose from, i only picked onetab because it had a lot of ratings) but the chrome extention “store” is hard to browse like a power user. cant get a good buy in very well. it doesnt share out very well hahahahahaha.  cant really deep dive into there and share it out. hard to get a good buy in.

https://www.one-tab.com

try it out nd make your comp 95 times faster hahaha

i would dnate a dollar to them if they were hwyte, but they dont even beg for dnations! so they MUST be hwyte hahaha.

if you do something useful, valuable, or important, you SHOULD get paid joobux for it.

everybody likes johnny cash but we could all stand to be more familiar with the song that gave him his name:

listen to something other than ring of fire, boy named sue or hurt hahaha.

when i was a young man i played the song at a party, hope it didnt sound too shitty because i was drunk af. it certainly didnt help me get any action hahaha. but its weird. its a very SOCIAL JUSTICE, MARXIST sort of message, but I still think its a good, meaningful, sincere song. i felt it spoke to me, and also explained my own penchant for the Gloomy which i had somewhat a reputation for, hahahaha, and often wore Black, prob still do.

and i do generally agree with the social justice message of the song, that some people just get a raw deal, get shat on, and dont deserve it, and we should have sympathy for them and try to help those less fortunate.

wish i had played the song well enough to get some makeout action though hahahaha. i probably could have, but i had oneitis on some dame who wasnt the least interested hahaha. she was an ok person but i should have just avoided her. that was impossible though, i saw her EVERY DAY without even TRYING and she hung out with my friends. SAVAGE.wav.

i should have immediately gone to the shrink, changed muh major to engin, stopped drinking cold turkey, saw the shrink 2 times a week, got a nice suit, and gone to the career center every day trying to get a 28k entry level engin job. but noooooooooo.

my weekend has begun hahaha. some MJ would be ideal. instead i ate a big dinner, too many calories, and had 1 benedryl, and now 1 valium, plan on 1 more valium, and 1 more ebendryl. try not to drink too much coffee to NULLIFY it.

damn this onetab is GREAT. why didnt i do this YEARS ago. if there are 2 things i am obsessed with……..hahahaha its joos and women hahahaha. i mean tabbed browsing and Memory Usage.

i thought of doing a black metal album with great songs and great lyrics that were pretty much very fashy, alt right, VVN, 14ee, not degenerate, not morally subversive but morally upright, and very JQ  JP aware, but i would not name the j00 until the very last word of the lyrics for the album, but make sly references throughout. but wouldnt be able to be accused of being anti-semitic until that last line of lyrics was brought up because it actually use the word Joo for the first and last time to unambiguously name what i was talking about.

but i cant write good lyrics and I sure as hell cant write good music!

well thats false. i’ve written both before! just not a lot. esp in comparison with the bad and shitty and worse than mediocre!

just an idea, had no intention of actually doing it myself haha.

heh took bendryl #2 a little early. just gonna skip valium #2 and replaced it with a Benedryl. will take Benedryl #3 right before bed.

this is better than drinking. it is technically better than MJ too…..but i dont really believe that because i desperately yearn for MJ.

old GLR sneakily avoided naming the J for the first 80 pages…..i think i just said this yesterday. anyway point is, he is going fullblast on them now, thats for sure. nicely describes them as parasites and tapeworms.

heh. those son of a btiches kicked me off the TRS discord because i didnt go through the formal extreme vetting process there hahahahahaha. not that i ever used it! but discord is a potentially good chat/meeting/voice system.  might be a good way for me to Actually Socialize with people. i guess i already do that at my job, by getting better at being friendly and talking to the people there.

i guess like once a month i feel like being social hahahaha and not a total loner weirdo. the rest of the time i just want to be alone doing MJ. it was different with that woman. i liked spending time with her. it gave some hard competition to being a loner haha. made me want to reconsider that path hahaha. now i am just mainly content being a loner again. not even terribly LONELY. when i was 20, 21, etc, back then i got a lot more LONELY at the thought of being/becoming a loner. now it doesnt bother me nearly as much.

but i still might like to be somewhat less of a loner. hang out with friends a LITTLE more, and DEFINITELY have a special waifu woman. i think its much better to have a special person like that, than to not. yuge value add there.  makes life without seem very bland and boring and disappointing by comparison.

14BB hehehehe 14ee which one looks better

i might have to go back and relisten to david dukes my awakening. i listened to a lot of the audio book a few years ago and really enjoyed it. would totally recommend it. learned a lot. first learned about the evil degenerate talmud hehehe.

you can probably find a pdf or txt file on the internet hehe but its really much better just to read an actual paper book.

so whats worse? MJ prohibition, or MJ being legalized in a way where there are really really really jooish laws and taxes and regulations where people are still strongly attracted by the Black Market because the Legal Market is such a Shitty Deal? or you can go to jail for using too much hahahaha.

i mean im still wondering about the DRINKING laws. i mean yeah SHOULDNT there be laws against drunk driving, and public drunkenness, Open Intox, Open Container laws, disorderly conduct, etc.

so shouldnt legal MJ similar have a bunch of stupid strict laws? or is it better to have it be Criminalized? i dont see how i could POSSIBLY be BETTER. and its much more likely to be legalized if you can give govt and jooz a way to PROFIT off it.

i mean it doesnt take a super crafty joo to see that a lot of MONEY can be made here. follow the money. so why dont they do it? because it takes THAT long for govt and legislation to MOVE?

but the SCOTUS made gay marriage legal OVERNIGHT. couldnt they make MJ legal overnight? not that they SHOULD, but COULDNT they, and if jooz run everything, why dont they want MJ to be legal? what is the thinking here. so this proves joos dont run the US. because MJ isnt legal NOW. hahahaha.

yeah but they make money off it being illegal too.  i guess the jooish business analysts ahve crunched the numbers and determined they make more money off it being illegal than it being legal. and all the degen potheads say look at colorado making a whopping 5 million dollars a year for EDUCATION oooo this is doing SO MUCH GOOD.

of course as a born again fascist, im not so sure legalizing drugs or even just MJ is a good idea after all!

and i fully admit its for my own selfish degeneracy. it would certainly be bad for society as a whole.

besides, how many HWYTE people are going to PRISON for MJ? not a lot.  i bet even fewer blacks are going to prison for MJ. LEO probably want to bust dealers of harder drugs and just dont care about softer drugs so much.

so who do the crooked cops sell the seized drugs to? back to the mexican cartels? probably hahahaha.

how much of seized drugs are illegally sold by crooked cops? 50% of the drugs? i cant believe cops are THAT crooked hhaha. i mean i thought the drugs were SUPPOSED to be DESTROYED.

i just cant go to my local police dept and be like ay bros want to sell me some drugs?

i would be MUCH better off going to random shady negros in the shady negro area of town.

i mean i would pay a shady arab doctor extra money to give me a Non Extremely Vetted recommendation for an MMJ card. you pay extra money so they can be extra shady and say here you go, here’s a MMJ card for your insomnia and anxiety hahahahaha and i will just check chronic pain on the state application. i mean i would pay much higher than the going rate for that extra shadiness. like dirty sluts willing to suck off the doctor for more opioid pills. i wouldnt suck anybody off ever though hahaha.

mar 31

have been overeating a lot without even trying lately. so, prob will gain a few pounds. not a huge deal, but obv want to keep eye on it. friday in lent is perfect time to try a Fast hahahaha. cut cals. drinking warm coffee with butter. this is acceptable hehehe.

you could just use a folder of bookmarks in chrome to do the same thing as this onetab extension.

trying something a little diff with muh day off. instead of shooting right off to errands, i am immed doing laundry right now. will do the errands when they are either drying or out of the dryer. almost abotu to put in dryer nao.

10:55 of sleep last nite compared to the usual 7 hahaha. this is how i bring the average up to 8:30 hehehehe.

ok put stuff into dryer. havent left yet obv. just sitting here drinking butter hahaha that i wish had MJ in it!

nobody ever told me that every conversation, every PART of a conversation, every INTERACTION, every word you say, is a COMPETITION or a STRUGGLE, where if YOU don’t say something INTERESTING, or FUNNY, or VALUABLE, or USEFUL to them, or PLEASING to them, then they think you are an IDIOT or an ASSHOLE or a WEAKLING or a JOO.  or a terrible person. a child molester or a traitor or a betrayer.

my least fav are being thought of as an IDIOT, or INCOMPETENT, or a Bad Person. A Morally Weak Coward or Liar or Joo. or an Inferior MAN –  an omega male. a Bootlicker who could only pull an Inferior Woman – if any woman at all.

it doesnt matter what other people think of you……but yes it does when you are trying to impress employers, colleagues, bosses, clients, women, friends! of COURSE you care about how they perceive you!!!!!! perception is reality hahahaha.

left another encouraging comment on a new george feels video just now. good for me hahahaha but also good for HIM. he is pushing in a  good direction and i want to encourage that and see more of it.

also i think he might be sympathetic to 14BB but not want to come out and say it. which is understandable. so i want to signal to him that yep this is a good way to be bro but im not such a loose cannon that i would ever blow your cover. like come on your channel saying HH, 1433, defoo the joo etc. cuz he puts his real face out there for the whole world to see. this is pretty much totally incompatible with espousing pro-hwite views.

ok finished laundry, out of dryer. even put clothes away. so, absoutely time to go do the errands. 1240pm.

i got to thinking, all of “mental illness” is inherently jooish. and jooish are inherently mentally ill!!!!!! mental illness is the Mental Joo, basically a mindvirus mindparasite burrowing into your mind and destroying it from within. whether its derpression or anxiety, or something more serious hehehe. so yeah im not saying its not real. it’s real as fook just as these destructive parasites are real!

my bold claim is to view your own “mental illness” as a little parasite JOO that is very literally trying to personally destroy YOU and your mind and your life, and its up to you and your trusted ones to grip it and rip it out forcefully and finally!!!!!

you dont want a little hand rubbing merchant in your mind, do you!!!!?????!!?????

George’s video on JUNG is very timely, seems like a SIgn from PROVIDENCE to me!

did some quick googling on this essay only to find its very controversial hahahahaha. ie joos used it to say jung was a nazi and supported AH. shit i hope he DID! all the more reason for me to read and luv JUNG!

and all the more reason to read the essay and all the more reason to be glad that george is looking at it. probably him dogwhistling again, and i fully appreciate it, and again, im not gonna blow his cover. but the neet virgin liberatardians arent calling him a natzee yet and i dont want to clue them in. but george doesnt need these people on his side anyway. but he doesnt need people calling him a natzee right now, or ever, so i’m not gonna help them do it. as i say, his Real Life Face is Doxed, so he doesn’t need anything BAD tied to that.  so i want to be real careful with what i say to him publicly. i mean i can email him for private talks. not that i would do that more than once every 2 months hahahaha.

tired of honey nut cheerios, switching over to peanut butter crunch hahahaha. yes i know cereal is terrible. well its not as bad as pizza or ice cream or cookies or pie hehe.

http://www.philosopher.eu/others-writings/essay-on-wotan-w-nietzsche-c-g-jung/

theres the actual jung essay full text, and not a damn dissertation on why it is a nazi thing. looks like kerry bolton wrote a good thing on counter currents. which, of course, are nazis hahahahahahahahahaha. no im kidding. dr greg is a good guy and he wrote me a nice thank you note for my insultingly small donation to CC.

anyway that full essay, not sure about that translation, and DEF the formatting is fooked, with words being joined together and such. proofread that shit!

i guess david lane started his wotanism based on that essay. Will Of The 4y4an People was what he said WOTAN stands for hahahaha. no complaints here. Lane was the creator of the 14W after all! great guy! should get HIS books!

https://archive.org/details/TheJewishStrategy

by Revilo P. Oliver. I should read this hehehehe

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/brad-pitt-losing-weight-and-his-mind-after-whore-wife-ruins-his-life/95662

i am now courageous enough to return to the bbs after i made a post about a week ago, then afraid to see if people had responded to me. i havent read the thread, but i think a few people upvoted me!

but yeah AA shares muh butthurt over women at the risk of being called MGTOWish. no we are not MGTOWs, but god damn are women SO jooed that is is DISGUSTING. you cant be blamed for hating them a little bit, even when you KNOW its the j’s who made them this way. you wish they could resist the J even just a LITTLE bit and not be completely horrible people hahahaha.

http://archive.is/PfIWU

archive of Andrew’s article hehehe

QUOTE

This narrative of “you aren’t good enough for women” being reinforced by men is absolute poison. Our race is only going to continue to exist if we fix gender relations, and so anyone who promotes this type of a narrative is a traitor to the race. Anyone who sides with feminism in any way is helping to destroy our race.
So please, don’t allow this to continue.

Do not be ashamed.

If somebody claims that someone else is having trouble with women because he’s not a good enough man, call him out for supporting the feminist agenda against white men.

Nevermind the Sluts – Talk to Your Brothers and Never, Ever, Ever Man-Shame

The other big, BIG issue: don’t feel like you have to pretend you’re not having any problems with women.

Everyone is having problems with women, but we have a cultural climate where it is like saying “I HAVE A TINY DICK” to talk about it.

In fact, many men will engage in the above mentioned “man-shaming” of other white males. This is absolutely disgusting, and it is inexcusable.

It only helps the sluts.   ” END

NEVER EVER EVER EVER MAN-SHAME.

AND NEVER EVER EVER EVER BE AFRAID TO SAVAGELY SLUT-SHAME.

THANK YOU ANDREW!!!!!

i wonder if his qt hwyte gf left him and now he is sad and angry.

well, he SHOULD be sad and angry, and that only makes what he writes here even MORE correct!!!!!

read this article 10 times every day and give him your money hahahaha.

women are just 16 year old gurls, of COURSE they are gonna dump you and BLAME YOU for it!

trying to red pill your woman is like trying to red pill your DOG (or cat.) don’t try to get the dog to understand. just be a strong leader and your dog will follow you in your fight against the J’s. don’t expect them to understand. THE TYRANNY OF HIGH EXPECTATIONS hahahahaha

so really by acting like a 14 year old gurl and blaming me, That Woman acted exactly like how you’d expect a woman to act. i was naive and didnt know how to handle it. oh well. at least now i think i learned a valuable lesson about women. always be dominant. never expect more responsibility or maturity or wisdom out of them than you’d expect out of a 14 year old gurl IT’S JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.

some men would say slapping a woman in the face is every effective, i dunno, i don’t think i would ever be comfortable with that. i do think SPANKING them would be VERY effective and I would LOVE the cahnce to test that hypothesis. i mean slapping them in the face just seems TOO savage, too nonwhite. hwyte men don’t NEED to slap their woman in the FACE.

shit, negros and semites will brutally PUNCH their women in the face and bludgeon their skulls with blunt objects!

i absolutely showed no dominance whatsoever. i mean i was at a low point hahaha.

it just also really bothers me that i have to COMPETE with these 14 year old gurls for JOBS, and they get masters degree and outperform me in the workplace, sometimes doing honestly tough jobs, and being TOUGHER than me. 14 year old gurls arent TOUGH and dont WORK very hard!!!!!

anyway. i just esp like it when AA writes about women. his haters say he is a woman hater. i say he’s prob just been hurt by too many jooified, degenerate women, just like many of us. i might SPECULATE that he has had a recent drama with a woman that has left him extra hurt! which is FINE! it happens to us all, and these struggles and heartbreak build TREMENDOUS character in a man!

come on. do you know how many WOMEN are MAN haters? most of them!

but yeah i especially like when AA says never ever ever shame any man for being beta or whatever.

ol uncle varg borders on doing this. well you’re just not MAN enough to DESERVE a woman.

i will always luv uncle varg, but I am closer to AA’s POV here. like god damn, these women really ARE garbage, and we have to stand in solidarity with our white Brothers. BROES BEFORE HOES!!!!!!!!

oh youre just mad about not Getting Any.

Well, YES! a little bit. part of that is my fault sure, but a big part is WOMEN being huge sluts! or Slags, as the brits call them.

slores, sluts, slags, skanks.

i will white-knight on occasion. i just dont want to do it too much. and i never want to manshame unless the man is really actually doing something jooish or negrish or sinful or bad or bad faith and not just being a white knight niceguy lickspittle woman-loving beta. dont SHAME him for being INNOCENT.

i bet he did just get dumped hahaha. well i would be there for AA if he needed a manfrand hahahaha. i am concerned that he doesnt do enough real life socializing.  i thought he was back in the US. he could totally find decent men to hang out with, he just has to get out there. like there are TRS and DS goys even in my area and if I tried, I could probably meet up with them. but i would worry about being rejected for being a loser. or that the person would be a tattooed felon type.

so….youre makign fun of me for being an idiot for betting when i had the nut flush? why is it dumb to bet when you have the nuts and are guaranteed to win???? are you supposed to call and hope the other guy bets? how the fook was it dumb of me to bet????? youre SURPRISED that I “ACTUALLY” Bet with the nuts? am I not understanding something here?

is it stupid to bet on QUADS too? am i supposed to slowplay these all the time? heh i have been playing poker very recreationally for like 5 years and it looks like i havent learned a god damn thing about actual strategy. feels bad man.

maybe the guy was just bantzing me. everyone likes to shoot their mouth off about how they are the smartest poker expert ever.

i am playing at a higher stakes table than i like because nobody is in the lower stakes one.

i mean i dont get nut flush very often. about as often as full house or quads ahhahahahahaa. but i do get quads more often than i thought i ever would.

anyway i hope anglin is hanging out wth people rather than just sitting alone doing daily stormer stuff. a person needs to be a little social and have some friends to do real life stuff with. says ME hahahaha. if he had a GF and she was his only real life person and she dumped him, that could be extra devastating. just speculating.

you could say its stupid to get into the cult of personality but i think it’s actually natural and healthy. you read anglin’s stuff for years, you start to feel more attached to him, like you sort of KNOW him, and that they are KIND of your buddy in that you sympathize with them, want the best for them, sometimes donate money to them, and wouldnt’ mind hanging out with them sometime. doesn’t mean you stalk them. but you do kinda wonder about their life story. their family and friends and them growing up. and enough of anglins story is out there to put together something of a picture.

he says he gets along with with his parents, so that is good.

he is very tight lipped about where he is living now, and i cant blame him, because jooz have been protesting outside his father’s office lately. jooz have called and confronted both his mother and his father. disgraceful.

i know he’s not REALLY my buddy, but i have the greatest respect for him and want the best for him. and that includes being happy in his social life and luv life. i dont want him to be a friendless foreveralone! I guess you could say I CARE about him!

but yeah i dont have any sick fantasies or delusions that he is my buddy or anything.

i just think that when a person puts themself out there like that, they can’t blame other people for getting a little bit attached to them. like mike enoch saying you dont know me, you’re not my buddy, i’m just a guy with a microphone, i’m not a leader. when you start to get FANS and people listening to your content regularly, then yeah to me thats a kind of social contract. you are SOMEWHAT responsible to your fans. i mean, you WANTED people to LISTEN to you, right? you cant just shit on your audience.

not that mike REALLY did that. well, he sorta said some of those things haha.

shit im not even sure what anglin’s position is on all this. maybe he would try to WEASEL about being “held to a higher standard just because i am the creator of daily stormer.”

heh. just saying if I were the creator of the daily stormer, i’d kinda EXPECT to be held to a higher standard than some autist troll in the comments!!!

 

 

 

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sun nov 12

mar 27

yep here at 652 am, all dressed up, showered, ready to go, prob have one more explosive BM in 10 minutes, then go and have productive, powerful, valuable, value-adding, value-making day hahahaha.

hmm 7:15 of sleep last night, not great hahahahaha. see how the best laid plans go awry. went to bed at 8pm. numbers are point to near 9 hours of sleep needed. ok fine. deal with it.jpg. really SHOULD go to bed at 7:15 pm then but that would just look too weird.

checked email, calendar, before going to job here.

the story of the student who spent 12 hours working a 12 hour midnight shift in a machine shop then feel asleep the next morning because he was going to COLLEGE in the am and working 12 hours during the night. holy shit. i can barely work 6 hours of an easy job then do ANYthing afterwards, let alone go to a 3 hour college class in the morning hahahaha.

and i actually had a little energy today! not sure where that came from hahaha since i “only” got 7:15 of sleep last night.

normal people work 12 hour shifts at night from…. 8pm to 8am, making 10 dollars an hour, so they can take a class from 9am to 1pm that gets them 1% closer to becoming qualified to compete for 14 dollar an hour jobs hahahaha.

its amazing. i never knew that normies worked so HARD. i figured that the normal normie was LAZY like me. most people go for the path of LEAST RESISTANCE, right? its why so many people are so GROTESQUELY OBESE. because fatty food is cheap and unlimited, and people cant CONTROL THEMSELVES. so how can they control themselves to become damn WORKAHOLICS? but they cant control themselves not to become GROTESQUELY obese? something just doesnt make sense here!!!!!

ok maybe they save all their self control for work, so they dont have any left when it comes to eating. that MUST be how it works.

well then how come they arent PROFLIGATE drinkers or opioid poppers either?

because THE RULE IS, you have enough self control to keep you from being hopelessly addicting from All Things But ONE. Pick One. every person has ONE tragic flaw. not two, but one and only one hahahahaha.

sooo……..how come plenty of other people are opioid poppers AND huge losers who can’t work? thats TWO tragic flaws hahahahaha.

basically in order to be a normie successful adult so you can have an ok wife and take care of your children and make 30k a year, you have to be willing to work 12 hour midnight shifts and THEN go to SKOOL afterwards for YEARS until you get your degree and can then afford to have a wife and a family. if you’re not willing to work that HARD for that LONG, you dont deserve a family of your own hahahahahahahaha.

well whats WRONG with that?

well, other than that is my RULE for Why I can never get married and have children!

what else….

oh well i just never wanted to be a WORKAHOLIC, so that’s why im a huge loser now. all those drug bums sucking dick on the streets, the only reason they’re like that is not because they werent willing to WORK, but because they werent willing to be WORKAHOLICS.

i only want to work 40 hours a week and not an hour more, that is why i’m a HUGE LOSER AT LIFE. see, something doesnt add up hahahaha.

just remember. the qt nice perfect gurl you want to buy FLOWERS for, is just some more manly guys DIRTY BUTTSLUT. taking it up the ass from guys she just met at COLLEGE in a drunken orgy. and you want to be all nice and pedestally and white knight to THAT? a dirty BUTT SLUT??!?!?!!

oh but she’s special TO ME. yeah well to other men she is just a dirty butt slut literally taking it up the ass. you can’t undo that.

heh sorry i am watching a law and order SVU about College Raep Epidemic of innocent gurls getting GangReaped at Frat Parties by evil hwyte boys.

the hunting ground.mov

college sluts who get gang reaped then go to psych ward for 2 years end up becoming more successful in life than me hahahahaha. get out of the psych ward, go back to skool, get masters degree as a raep crisis counselor, MA.

oh god i really am horrible. no i dont think any gurl deserves to get raeped, even the ones who are literally asking for it. white men dont raep women ever, period, not even the dirtiest trashiest fatherless butt sluts.

you know what kind of men DO raep women? negros. joos. arabs. any hwyte man who raeps a woman is basically a race traitor.

goddamn. ate too much at dinner again.

also saw at least one beautiful hwyte young college gurl today, wearing jeans that I as her father would not let her wear. why do they have to wear pants that are SO TIGHT? i know we are not ARABS who need our women in BURKA DURKAS, but my god, I thought MODESTY was a hwyte virtue!

how about a nice long skirt? how about pants that DONT perfectly cling to your buttocks, legs, thighs, hips like a Second Skin???!?!?!?!!?! damn!

i just hate the thought of women i Luved going off and being dirty butt sluts. A woman should NEVER, EVER be a dirty butt slut, EVER. its not just some PHASE you go through when you are 18 to 21. NO. NEVER. EVER. EVER.

well its hard to believe i even GOT feelings for her (not really). i mean these “all women are dirty sluts” thoughts are nothing new for me, i’ve been thinking this way since i was like 13 hahahahahahahaha.

but the reason its not surprising i feel in luv with her was, she was YOUNG, she was HWYTE, she didnt have any KIDS, she was very NICE to me, and we were FRIENDS and built up some closeness, we KNEW each other.  also she was a Solid 7, Not Potatoey, Long Legs, very whyte skin, there were no real dealbreakers about her physically. like being a stumpy potato or nonwhyte or old or blatantly Haggishly Fugly is really it for me.

anyway this is dead horse shit. not even interesting.

well bitcoin coming back up again thank GOD.

i felt pretty good until I came home, THEN i felt like a lazy bum who didnt want to be a workaholic to survive. when i am Working On The Clock, i feel a LITTLE bit more normie. well unless I think, this doesnt COUNT, this is not a proper normie bigboy job. then yeah that  thought sucks too.

i guess ALL of it is technically WAY better than being a 100% jobless neet.

great TITS on that marishka hargitay, even if she is a manfaced lanternjaw manjaw. would totally bang.

and i dont mean to minimize the rest of her body by saying she has GREAT TITS. im sure she probably has a BRETTY GOOD ass as well!!!!

hehehe. this is what the LORD has destined for me, to be constantly AT WAR with women. yeah MOST of that is ON ME, i fully admit it……but SOME of it is on them. they dont HAVE to be so horrible. yeah its all da jooz fault. but god damn. cant they RESIST the jooing even a TINY bit? no! they LUV it! they LUV being negro whores!!!!!

not all women! some women, it DOES bother them on some deep level, and they say, there must be more to life than this. than being chad, tyrone, and achmed’s dirty butt slut on instagram and tinder.

even the women i knew in COLLEGE to be HUGE SLUTS werent as big of sluts as the Fictional Slut in my MIND, this horrible fantasy nightmare of the sluttiest slut who ever existed (but who really NEVER existed.) sure, plenty of women are slutty and gross, but not THIS slutty and gross.

if i could Literally make a CAREER out of slut shaming I would. I would WILLINGLY, EAGERLY get a MASTERS DEGREE in it.

What would YOU get a masters degree in?

well ok that one doesnt exist. what are my safety nets.

Joo Exposing. Eradicating Jooish Degeneracy.

nope sorry that one doesnt exist either.

becoming and UNbecoming a Neet Loser. i guess that one might exist, as a counselor, therapist, psychologist, social worker, shrink.

so THATS what I should become then? a SOCIAL WORKER??????? a COUNSELOR?

oh yeah. marriage and relationship counselor. that would also be good hahaha. man woman relshits i mean ships.

from a very unpozzed, hwyte, nonjooish perspective.

but all education/training/research in this fields is HEAVILY jooed, as is basically anything thats not a hard stem science. you literally CANNOT ESCAPE it if you want to get the degree and work in the field.

and plenty of people leave the field and become Customer Service Agents because that pays better and they have mouths to feed.

which you can totally do without a Masters Degree, even in Current Year.

Can’t say that will ALWAYS be the case though.

WHAT A WORLD that would be. in 2027, you wont even be able to get a job in a Customer Service Call Center unless you have a MASTERS DEGREE in Customer Service. HOLY FOOK.

oh sorry. you have a masters degree in customer service but not a masters degree in customer service in a phone call center, looks like YOUR masters degree was in face to face customer service.

right major, but wrong CONCENTRATION hahahaha.

shit think i drank too much coffee today. might not be able to sleep tonight even though i plan on going to bed at decent hour. damn.

you know who doesnt think every woman is a degenerate slut?

chad normies who have been with 1 woman every 2 years since age 18 who are average hard workers who get average bachelors degrees in business related stuff and average 35k a year jobs at age 22, get married by 28, have a kid by 30. raise their kids to not be racist like the terrible older generations. cant take the kids around their racist great-grandparents. smh. those uneducated racists just lived in different times and didnt know any better.

well can you prove to me it ISNT White Systemic Racism that causes all the social problems of The Blacks? you cant! just like YOU cant prove that its all because of their Race!

ok. so its impossible to prove a negative. you cant prove that this ISNT the case. so youre right. I CANT prove it ISNT whtie racism. you cant prove it isnt jooish racism hahahaha. i CAN prove it IS jooish racism! you cant prove it IS hwyte racism!

i clearly need to get back to muh GLR, i am going Nutty.

im just jelly of normie adults. i just want to BE one but its so god damn hard. such a god damn struggle. they WORKED harder than I did, but I think I STRUGGLED MORE than THEM.

too bad the Struggle wasn’t worth more WORK. hahahaha. then i would be making like 35k a year and married a nonslut.

thats the problem with struggling. its even more exhausting than work, but COUNTS for much LESS.  it gets you NOWHERE, AND it wears you out and makes you less likely to do the work that IS actually worth something.

damn.

sheeeeeeit. again ate wayyyyy too much today. god damn. really got to stop this.

so i thought that my interest in race was a part of my “dad phase”, where i wanted to have children but wasn’t man enough, so i will have children symbolically through My Race.

but then today i thought, well its more than just Having Children, it’s Relating To Women as well. the natural connection between men and women, which then leads to children. I dont have children but kinda want children, so i project that onto Race. I don’t have a waifu but I want a (hwyte) waifu….so I project that onto Race as well. these are both pretty big desires, so thus I am a HUGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE racist. Which I proudly AM. I FOOKING LUV BEING HWYTE.

i mean its only logical. really our race is just a product of thousands of years of hwyte men and hwyte women getting together and having hwyte children!!!!!!! that is Race 101 right there!

ok. so i am obsessed with My Hwyte Race because I am obsessed with Women, with Children, with my own sense of Failure and needing something to cling to. SO WHAT. the only one that’s kinda BAD is that third one.

so….you’re saying if i HAD a woman, I wouldn’t CARE about RACE so much??!?!?!

who the fook am I arguing with here hahahahahaha. i mean this isnt even really fun, its just boring.

when i was in luv with that woman, i didn’t suddenly throw muh race under the bus. i was still very pro-hwyte.

the bottom line is, i’ve been pretty much blatantly pro-white since 2012, before this blog began, i was just more careful back then not to talk about it so blatantly, cuz it was still kinda new and scary.

you think young joos are consciously trying to genocide the goy? fook no! even as they get older i dont think this is ever their conscious goal….however ENDING RACISM certainly IS. and I would argue that there methods of ENDING RACISM are inherently harmful to hwytes.

basically, anti-racist is code for anti-white.

keep asking them questions, keep asking how and why, and eventually anti racists will just end up shaking their heads and saying something like, well look, its just karma, whites reap what they have sown. you cant oppress so many people for so long and not have a backlash, and i am willing to see my race pay the reparations now for all the evil shit they did in the past. i’m not that attached to my whiteness. i don’t care if my children and grandchildren are mixed race. i love diversity! i live and work with people of all races! i would totally marry and have kids with another race! i’m white and i freely admit whites have basically been the worst group of people in history and it’s only FAIR that whites PAY THE TOLL.

this is the sentiment you will find in white leftists and its sickening.

i never was coherent enough to question them to that logical conclusion but i have been present where essentially other people questioned them to that conclusion.

it sounds bad guys, but maybe those evil apartheid fascist boers in south africa just need to die off already. i don’t think racists like that could be helped. just lock them up away from everyone so they cant oppress anyone. they’ll never open their minds. they’ll never changed. they can’t be fixed. there’s so many Old White Racists like that. I cant bring my Grandparents Anywhere. they’re too old to learn. Sad! at least our younger generation knows better and can teach OUR children not to be RACIST.

GO FUCH YASELF.

I won’t teach my kids to be racist or not to be racist, and they will probably learn to be racist just by observing Life. And White Racist Systems Turning Blacks into Easily-Blamable Victims hahahaha.

hey two can play at this hidden wizard of oz behind the curtain bullshit.

so THEIR idea is bullshit of a hwyte man being behind the curtain, but MY idea of da jooz being behind the curtain is totally NOT bullshit?!?!?!

HALP ME GLR hahahahaha

its not the idea of someone being behind a curtain that’s bullshit hehehehe. that is totally not a bullshit metaphor, but a very useful and true one hahahaah.  really ive been into this metaphor for basically my whole life. regardless of political orientation. its just the idea of things not being what they seem. take the red pill hahaha.

am i just hyped up from drinking coffee all day? yeah probably a little.

am i excited from seeing that beautiful 20 year old hwyte gurl earlier today? well now that you mention it, she was very beautiful hahahahaha. but wasnt really thinking about that.

i was walking with an older man when that girl stepped in front of us. he certainly saw her too and maybe even got excited for a second. until he immediately realized that holy shit, he has a daughter who is almost that age. and all the men are gonna be ogling her. i can’t let them out of the house wearing jeans like that.

all this went through my mind in a matter of seconds after the girl appeared hahahaha.

i’ll allow the guy a second of excitement. but i would be disappointed in him if he didn’t immediately take the perspective of The Good Father. because he DOES have a daughter around that age and I DO think he is trying his damnedest to BE a good father! I like and respect the guy in other words.

he has several children in that age bracket. that college age bracket where SO MUCH SHIT can go SO WRONG. where it went so wrong for me. so naturally i am interested in seeing how he guides his children through that. will they become total fookups like me? or will they become successful middle class professionals like HIM?

it is fairly obvious hahahaha. he is guiding them to useful career paths, useful internships, and is probably aware if they have any Severe Emotional Issues hahahahaha.

mar 28
ok 645 am here , getting my morning stuff in hehehe. had weird dream. i was watching a “weird japanese movie” which was the frame for a very realistic story where it was basically me in the movie, fallling in luv with a Manic Pixie Dream Girl who was clearly damaged and disturbed and more than a little kinky and passionate. we enjoyed a passionate affair in a hotel for a few days then she had to leave and she was sad and I was heartbroken. I watched her leave and as she left, she began flirting with a sleazy mocha-skinned guy and smiling and flirting with him and got into a car with him. replaced me with this guy less than 30 mins after leaving me. wow. i was a complicated mix of emotions. yeah i shoulda known better to get mixed up with a MPDG cuz this was TEXTBOOK behavior, but i was lonely and the gurl was young, qt, and throwing herself at me.

also continues the theme of there being movies in my dreams that sometimes recur. often “lars von trier” movie is code for “extremely fooked up nightmare.” this movie was a “japanese” movie called “akira” that was really more of a degenerate jooish thing as a “edgy coming of age love secs story” than anything “japanese”, other than the japanese can ne extremely secsually degenerate, and i suppose that could be a jooish thing.

earlier in the dream i was with muh fam on The Super Rich side of town. we stopped at this extremely lavish hotel type luxury building with hebrew letters. i was like uhhh this is a jooish building, lets stay out of here, i dont care how nice it looks.

we went inside, it was very “nice” and luxurious and opulent. i didnt know if it would be filled with joos but that was my fear, and that they would try to take advantage and humiliate us goys. i was heavily on guard. there were actually some fairly normie looking touristy people like us. i couldnt tell what they were – joo or no joo hahahaha. i put them under heavy khazar/ashkenazi suspicion.

at some point this morphed into the above dream which also took place in a luxurious hotel i think.

7:05 hours of sleep even though i got to bed at proper correct time of 8 pm. just didnt fall asleep till 930 though. yeah prob did drink too much coffee during the day.

i always “like” to try to “FIGURE THINGS OUT” by THINKING about them a LOT, that i think i can think my way through things. but really i just end up OVERTHINKING everything and very often coming to a…..distorted, exagerrated, overly negative conclusion.

its not completely 180 off, maybe just 90 hahaha. so it bears some relation to the truth. mixing lies with the truth is the most effective and damaging kind of lie hahaha. it ruined muh life!

about to leave to go to job here. today would liek to again go to bed at 8 pm, drink less coffee, and DEFINITELY eat less food, ate WAY too much food yesterday and went like 500 calories over. DAMN. maybe do something productive at job. at least come across as charming and normie and nice and willing and able. try to take some phone calls and dispense some confident, authoritative advice: no, you cannot do this, and here’s why. no can do, you don’t have to like it, talk to our legal team, they’ll tell you the same thing, and frankly, they’re not even gonna waste their time calling you back. Good Bye.

later

funny its not the work day that kills me, like it did before. i am adjusting as well as i can to a very favorable environment! but the challenge begins when i get OUT and go HOME, just the STREAM of constant self recrimination of being a lazy loser bum, when you cant legitimately have those thoughts WHILE you are currently Working On The Clock, being productive, so therefore the solution is to be working 40 hours a week or 80 hours a week as opposed to….30 hours a week. workaholics who work 12 hour midnight shifts THEN go to college and stay INSANELY, workaholically BUSY.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/what-its-like-taking-a-grown-mans-virginity?utm_source=vicetwitterus

if they werent CREEPY HWYTE WOMEN HATERS, THEY WOULDNT BE VIRGINS WHEN THEY ARE 20+ YEARS OLD! SOMETHINGS CLEARLY WRONG WITH THESE WOMAN HATING NICEGUYTMS!!!! THINKING THEY ARE ENTITLED TO WOMENS BODIES!!!!!

what a BAD CREEPY MAN, he didnt tell you he was a virgin until AFTERWARDS hahahaha. like youd allow him to bang your n>900000 ass if you knew he was a creepy, broken VIRGIN beforehand!

this slut has taken the virginity of AT LEAST FOUR men who were 20+ year old virgins. multiple 30 year old virgins. wow.

well just keep in mind this is a horrible VICE WRITER.

http://archive.is/BkVWY

archive of shitty article. wheres the comments

no comments. damn. anyway these are actually shitty vice readers who are all huge sluts who dont thinkg anything is weird about having secs with a guy drunkenly you have just met. its normal to Blow your manager At Work.  and all the guys have Issues of course, and the women are just looking for a Quick Fook, not to help a guy with his Issues and be his first GF. let somebody else do that. hahahaha. except that never happens. maybe he bangs a few more dirty sluts.

so if i bang a dirty slut, am obligated to tell her beforehand that i havent banged a gurl in 13 years hahahaha? that i have only really banged 1 gurl a total of 2 times? i mean how much am I really supposed to TELL them? am i supposed to tell them all of that? i guess i can understand telling them youre a VIRGIN hahaha.

well ii guess i would say, i’m CLOSE to a virgin but i just want to add another notch to the belt today and youre it babe, just let me bang you and lets get this bullshit over with and hopefully i can find a better woman than you to have an actual rel with. so i hope you were jsut looking for a quick fook and nothing more hahahahaha.

ok done. got what im going to say next time i bang a slut. it’ll happen, i’m fairly confident, and it probably wont be pretty. it probably will be a dirty high number slut who is drunk. i dont know how old or good looking they will be. i am hoping for younger and qter. they will be somewhat crazy. crazier than me! but hopefully not too much.

wewlad. glad to get what im gonna say out of the way. now just gotta find a slut who is willing to bang a short old loser who hasnt banged a woman in many years and is ALMOST a virgin.

welp its still better than being a virgin. i think the majority of men lose their man virginity with dirty sluts rather than with a special GF qt high school sweetheart type gurl. so just be grateful if you can pull a good looking slut rather than a bad looking one. thankfully i did. unthankfully i never pulled a woman ever again hahahahaha. maybe because i wanted another qt gurl and didnt want a goddamn road hog. heh. well after that slut i swore ok im done with SLUTS, i want the NEXT gurl I bang to be a serious GF. that went over like a lead balloon. i actually lost a chance to bang another slut that i wish i had taken now. not like the slut would have had any trouble find a cock to fill her up. might as well have been me. good luck trying to find a man to commit to you now, ya used up skank hahaha. well at least she is super successful in life haha. probably associates with a lot of successful men as well. where she has to downplay what a huge whore she is hahahaha.

no i dont care. i just really thought i would ahve been able to pull another slut in 13 years! but in the real world, even SLUTS are hard for low-confidence omega men to pull! when i pulled those sluts before, i was in a weird college world, where automatically me being there meant i had potentially high status. but in the real world, where i have really low status, i cant even pull SLUTS.  until i raise my status. which i have been struggggggggling to do, with no success.

its hard to believe these WOMEN are actual PEOPLE! living human BEINGS like you and me!

well that makes me sound like a sociopath. yes i can believe they are human beings, but they just seem like different BREEDS, sort of liek the races seem like different BREEDS, which is a word GLR wisely, aptly, correctly uses in WP. that is a great way to think about races.

not sure if its a great way to think about men vs women though.

besides, GOD has made it my mission in life, my cross to bear, to be in constant conflict with women. with the final goal MAYBE being that i learn to stop being in conflict with them. who knows. maybe thats not the goal. maybe my cross to bear is to be in huge conflict with women for muh entire life. i am paying off some kind of debt. both for myself and for others.

its just fookin retarded to WANT something so badly. both women, and also to want to be a successful normie, but not being WILLING to do the WORK it takes to get there. the YEARS and YEARS of 17 hour days of work. 10000 hours to get good at something. 10000 hours to get good at your career, 10000 hours to get good at women. note:10000 hours is about….4 years of Full Time Work. Approx.

and i am totally butthurt at school and education not counting at all towards those necessary 20000 hours. mother fooking EIGHTEEN YEARS of school WASTED. 18 years of life! over half your life, blatantly wasted! thats worth getting butthurt about!

but not if the butthurt keeps you from fixing it and turning the ship around.

it doesnt take you 18 years to turn the ship around. ONLY EIGHT. hahahaha. 20000 hours.

in my homeschooling utopia, you would be an EXPERT, a masters-level EXPERT in THREE things by the time you were done with twelve years of school at 17 or 18. in other words, your could make a good living in TWO types of career, and have the Social Expertise to pull a Woman, reproduce, and the economic success to support your children.

basically, go to 16 year olds and tell them, do this or you’ll never meet a woman or move out on your own. you’ll die a lonely loser childless wifeless virgin who makes less than negros at walmart and mcd’s. get a stem degree or become an electrician. end of discussion. if you dont do those things, you’ll die a fat virgin basement dweller. you DO want to have secs with a QT gurl, don’t you? well you wont if you dont d one of thsese things. period. end of discussion. now get out there and get started. you can get started on your stem degree at age 16.

literally. there are plenty of kids in my working class nonelite normiezip who enroll in comm college at age 16, graduate high school at age 18, and associates degree as well, then fooking stem degree at age 20. damn. why didnt i do this? because I didnt really KNOW about it for one.

but thats not true! one of the kids in my AP history class took Calculus or Pre Engineering courses at the local College!

of course i thought he was a huge dork.

and unfortunately not a lot of our kids in my high school did that. they just loaded up on gay AP courses, which is NOT the way to go.

the way to go is take the easiest high school classes you can, take as few of them as you can, and Dual Enroll into Comm College as SOON as possible, age 14 if you can. dual enrollment its called. its a common thing in opioid epidemic flyover amerifat trump country hahahaha. and i didnt totally understand it until recently.

DUAL ENROLL YOUR KIDS WHEN THEY ARE 14. basically skip high school and go straight to college. public schools have agreements with the college so that the school district  ie taxpayers will pay for the college tuition.

also i wonder if its easier to pull 19 year old college sluts when you are a 15 year old “genius” hehehehe. that would be confidence building af! they think you are all qt and then they want to make you their little project. they are willing to spend time and effort on you and let you bang them at least 10 times. then you can pull a better woman once you are established. ideally something arranged with the girl’s father who is looking for suitable husbands for his virgin daughter. which you will totally be, as a 20 year old engineer making 45k a year hahahaha.

or you can get a Journalism degree and make 11k a year at age 30 and never be able to pull even the craziest, dirtiest slut for noncommittal secs. your choice hahahahaha.

if i could go back in time and present these stark terms to my younger self, i would love to do that. get 14 year old me to dual enroll in local college. i could even just take intro to bullshit classes. i would get college credit for them and they would be way easier than AP classes.  AP classes are a HUGE jooish screwjob. they were basically TWICE as hard as college classes, AND TWICE as long.  big mistake there. also i hated them so they killed muh will to learn and made me really hate skool hahaha. never understood why high school classes had to last like 8 or 9 fookin months, the whole skool year long. fookin gay as fook. i would have much rather taken college classes that were only HALF as gae as fook. and gotten credits that meant more in the adult world. also all this would have looked really good to employers.

well didnt my res look good for a while after i did graduate college? whats the date of expiration there? 1 year? WHATS THE RULE? i went to a prestigious enough college that i would think my “recent grad grace period” lasts a little longer. even if it did, i STILL blew it!

and i was drinking too much, and prob doing too much MJ.  i was def drinking too much tho. if i had to choose one or the other, i should have chosen MJ. it was alcohol that “made” me do all the really stupid regrettable stuff like drive drunk, act like an idiot in front of friends and women, etc. should have just sm0ked tons of MJ and signed up immediately for shrink at that time.  yeah i know the alcohol didnt MAKE me do anything. and i admit driving drunk is always retarded.

but is it really? if you never hurt anyone? hahahaha. real edgy libertarian argument here. its not a crime unless you hurt someone else.

western jooish capitalists were financing marxists and communists. karl marx financed by fels, soap magnate; bolsheviks financed by schiff, international bankster.

oh this is fake news. they werent really joos, they didnt really “finance” anything.

ok ate much less calories today. still too much but a big improvement over yesterday. also didnt drink as much coffee today. should be better prepared to go to bed at 8pm.

how bitcoin do today. up 0.2% ok thats fine. thats a lot ahahaha.

i wonder what GLR would have said about Cultural Marxism. well that its a disgusting disgrace, and that this long march through the institutions has resulted in a long march through the culture in general, leaving a wake of jooish destruction, emptiness, nihilism, rootlessness, dispossession, aimlessness, Morally Adrift, disillusionment, anomie, ennui, etc. hedonism, atheism, hopelessness, drugs, secs, DESPAIR, opioid epidemics, culture of death, culture of disposability, replaceability, use once then throw away, everythings expendable and replaceable and CHEAP.

but id say GLR would be hopping mad at how for example feminist and anitwhite shit is no longer the purview of collegephags, but basically everybody. its not just joos producing degenerate plays in fooking NYC and LA. its fooking girls in kansas fooking negros and fooking wichita kansas being jooed like every large city, not just the coastal ones.

i mean the goyim are in worse shape than they are in GLR’s day, in other words.

GLR was a fan of: J Edgar Hoover, FBI, Joe McCarthy, Douglas MacArthur, maybe Eisenhower, maybe Nixon, Batista, Kai-Shek. Gerald LK Smith.

he was not a fan of: FDR, Truman, JFK, probably LBJ. Alger Hiss. Felix Frankfurter, Castro, Chairman Mao Mao, Earl Warren, CIA

ok there were ALWAYS commie jooz in every city, not just joo york and la. but miami, atlanta, charleston, st louis, any big city. well what about fookin wichita. ok city. well if they can get to st louis they can get anywhere. denver. i cant imagine many live in wyoming tho hahahaha.

but i have to imagine the jooz of louisville 1920 werent as bad as the jooz of NYC 1920.

ok things are different now because there has been no soviet union for fookin 25 years. the idea of russian spies is ludicrous. but i argue that crooked jooz are still in power in many of the ex soviet countries. and the much bigger threat now is not hardcore red commies, but cultural marxists and swedish type socialists. kinder gentler version of communism. now you have Socialism. and the horrible Cultural Marxism, Diveristy, Multiculturalism, and Equality it works towards.

MORAL SUBVERSION. ALWAYS with the MORAL SUBVERSION. now just as much as ever before. probably even more. less overt communism, more socialism, more diversity, more fookin moral subversion.

you think i’m faking this? i wouldnt be spending so much time writing about it if i were a JOO SHILL or a phony faker poseur just interested in this for a few months like a damn woman bandwagon jumper!

what if i did a 23 and me and turned out to be 10% jooish.

i would NOT be happy about it. i would publicly recant it and try to eradicate it with a hwyte woman. but beforehand, i would be like, listen, i’m 10% jooish, so our children will be 5% jooish, but my goal is to get them 100% hwyte because i want to eradicate the joo out of ME but it cant be done. and i feel a little bad about making you race mix liek this. so just sign on the dotted line goy saying you waive your rights hahahaha.

yeah i would prob do that, esp if i were still 90% hwyte. would make more sense than me trying to mate with 100% joos!

or ideally i wouldnt mate at ALL…..and it looks like i am going that route anyway. damn.

 

 

 

THE NARCISSIST WHO WAS AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT HIMSELF WITH REAL PEOPLE

jan 18

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2017/01/18/rebel-shoah-fashy-struggle-session/

mike enoch gets interrogated wooooot

soundcloud comments dont seem to optimistic, suggest there are no really tough questions, that stuff is brushed off, and the first 5 minutes are not diving into tough questions like i would have liked. i do not have a great feeling tbh.

takes 36 minutes to start maybe getting good??? maybe 43.

heh i expected him to be more shaken up. honestly this is getting boring hehehehe.  uhhhh i was kinda hoping he would act like something happened. to take like 10 straight minutes talking about why its really not ok to marry j00s, or something. i dunno.

how about distraught from losing your family and your 100k job. I would be going CRAZY. Couldn’t even do a conversation with people. i dunno i guess i wanted him to be a little more emotional about it all, even if emotions are womanly.  strong men also have SOME emotions lebowski hahaha.

he doesnt sound like a man whos life has just been ruined.

i dunno. little disappointed. did not meet my expectations. didnt expect to listen to a 2 hour podcast for him to say “i am conflicted about this.” i mean he SHOULD be conflicted about this!

whoa many JCC’s around the nation target for some threats. now here’s some hot news!!!!!

i wanted him to put something personal out there. share something. i guess he doesnt HAVE to, we dont OWN him, i was just hoping for a lot more reassurance than I got. I am glad mike is not K’ing himself and not so worried that he can’t go on…..but what do you really have to SAY about your J wife? he said yeah she’s a J, hasn’t said 25%, 50%, or 100%. this stuff matters! does she have a really J lifestyle and ideology? has TRS’s anti-J’ish caused real problems with their marriage? it probably SHOULD!

i realize he’s not a LEADER, he certainly doesn’t see himself as a leader, and yeah that really comes across here. he may not be a LEADER, but his opinion carries some weight, and i wish he had a stronger opinion about this!  yeah this is “drama” but its also LEGIT drama!

if anything, Sven has stronger leadership qualities than Mike, and Sven is not really pushing Mike to talk about the tough stuff.

im not saying accuse mike as a betrayer, but also he should WANT to address people LEGITIMATE CONCERNS!!!!!!

ok he clarifies that he was notified today he was not welcome at his workplace anymore.

listened to 1:51 and nothing really jumped out at me. i wanted it to jump out. this is kinda a big deal.

so maybe the higher ups have lost a little credibility with me. maybe i will end up spending more time at DS than TRS hehehe. i mean TRS still has great podcasts though. the fatherland.

but man they ban people like crazy on that forum. i kinda like how DS forum is a lot more laid back re the banning. trolls talk mad shit and no one gets banned. i figure let the trolls talk shit, the rest of us will just ignore them. (AN IGNORE BUTTON WOULD BE NICE, THO hahahaha)

i dunno. just not what i really WANTED from mike i guess. but mike is not the leader of trs. and trs has plenty of people who would be more conflicted about their race mixing hahahaha. i just dont want to see a pattern of softening amongst the trs higher ups like sven, i dont want to be disappointed in him too.

WELL, THERES ALWAYS daily stormer at least hahahaha.

i guess i have become a bit less enthusiastic about donating shekels to TRS, where my enthusiasm for donating shekels to stormer has not waned one bit. that probably means something.

heh. i just wanted answers and resolution NOW and i guess im just gonna have to WAIT and see if mike gives anything better. i wish i had a better feeling about it.

i mean mike was never my number 1 favorite podcastfu anyway hahahaha. but he was part of my top tier! i didnt have all my eggs in that one basket tho, which i guess is good.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/meet-10-women-who-rushed-to-get-an-iud-before-inauguration-day_us_587fa3dae4b0c147f0bc56f8

dear lord

i dont want to have children so i can benefit humanity by being a phd research scientist . well just close your legs ya science slut.

you need the hormones for your acne or whatever. how about stop slathering chemicals on your skin and use a very diluted mix of very light salicylic acid hehehehe. maybe lemon juice. maybe just plain water. maybe dove sensitive skin soap.

how about you just stop fooking guys and if you dont want to get preggers, dont have secs with guys when you are on the period!!!!!!

how about be a lot more careful about the secs you do have?

dont have secs for like 7 days around your period. have the guy pull out or wear a condo. have him put it in your degenerate ass hahahahaha.

jan 19

oh dear. i remember when this happened but never really read any follow up on what derek black is doing now. i guess he hasnt come back to VVN and writes shitty articles for the JY Slimes about how trump is a racist and he’s so glad he’s matured past that.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/the-white-flight-of-derek-black/2016/10/15/ed5f906a-8f3b-11e6-a6a3-d50061aa9fae_story.html?utm_term=.fc3b626816d0

theres the wapo one with a lot of tldr hahahaha. anyway he honestly seemed like a pretty smart kid from a young age, BEFORE he got to college. knew all the red pill stuff many of us only learn AFTER college. and then he was blue pilled by some jooish guy who invited him to a diversity dinner? that made his whole system come crumbling down? he still seems like a smart intelligent guy!!!! this is really weird shit.

i can understand distancing yourself from his father who might be a little corrupt. but distancing himself from the whole movement is insane. why didnt he just join up with some of the young alt right people? newer groups like daily stormer or TRS?

he used to mock the ideas of white privilege! how did going to a leftist college where they took “white privilege” seriously just totally change his mind where he did a total 180??????????

its implied that the antiwhites had better SCIENCE for why race is a social construct, and how IQ diffs can be explained by education and opportunity and all that. that convinced derek black. a seemingly smart young man. the SCIENCE and STATISTICS were more convincing to say that there was no white genocide hahahaha.

what i’m saying is, he’s smart enough to weigh the evidence of both sides. and smarter people than him have done so and concluded that Race Is Real. I just want to know what was REALLY the deciding factor.

Him trying to make friends? but he was pretty open about it before going to the college.

maybe he got a super antiwhite Jooish gurlfran while he was at the college, who made it her project to convert him. this seems more likely than the above. i mean he didnt sound like a friendless autistic virgin dying for acceptance like i was hahahahahaha.

or maybe it was “just” being his fathers son. his fathers whole life is VVN 1.0. i am thinking don black was a halfway decent father and wasnt really cramming it down dereks throat though. and it sounded like derek willingly got on board.

i would bet theres subconscious father rebellion going on here. and thats why he couldn’t “just” go to VVN 2.0, he had to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

it’s sad because he seemed like a smart guy and could have been valuable to the movement. despite looking like a huge jackass with his hair and style. i mean he looked like a fedora libertarian virgin hahaha.

what really happened here? you dont just get hit with antiwhite statistics from J’s in J00niversity and say wow i never considered that before, and then do a 180.

i mean i was an antiwhite shitlib in jooniversity, but i never put much EFFORT into it. i was just like rabble rabble white privilege hurr durr institutionalized racism hurr durr imperialistic white males punching down, because that was what everyone around me was parroting, and i wanted to make friends, and especially to make gurlfrans hahahaha. I didn’t put extracurricular effort in going to meetings, or doing activism, or writing articles, or reading howard zinn. Many of my peers certainly did. i would rather sm0ke MJ and be like fight the man, maaaaan. like a lebowski deadbeat. and when i did meet trve believer marxist activists, they kinda weirded me out. like these people are WAYYYYY too tryhard. I’m not LIKE THEM, AM I? and maybe THAT started me on really questioning my not-so-strongly-held “beliefs” that white men were oppressing everyone.

derek black did the exact opposite of what I did. it’s a great STORY. but a sad one. fooked up.

so yeah he would be the bigger traitor than mike enoch hahahahaha. but I really don’t like how enoch basically did not talk about the tough questions. left me with no confidence hahahaha. ok mike, you’re not a leader, we get it. maybe i will really stop viewing you as one after all this.  have a very fishy weird feeling about how he has handled all this so far. it just seems like too little. like that’s it?!?!?! that’s the best you can give us?!?!?! you can and should do better than that.

so yeah i wouldnt quite call him a dirty traitor like black hahaha. because i think mike is gonna continue to say Savage Stuff about Da J00z. but he has not removed the Seed Of Doubt in many people’s mind. And I’m MORE than willing to give him the BENEFIT of the doubt!

but he’s not addressing the ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!

The rank and file of TRS forum are great people. i guess i identify with them more than the TRS higher-ups. this could very well be the start of distrust with the higher ups. stormer forum is less banhappy and i like that.

no im not aguing for more freedom or democracy or less fascism hahaha.

maybe im saying i am losing a little faith in the TRS higherups.

but who are the MODS of stormer forum? anglin and weev sure, and I am FINE with them! if thats the whole of “stormer leadership” i would be 100% happy with that. ….but are there others with the power to BAN?

dunno, just wanted the “higherups” (if not “leaders”) to take this a LITTLE more seriously and not treat people asking reasonable questions as spergs or shit stirrers. shit i thought i was a moderate pvssy compared to many others…..who have prob already been banned from TRS hehe.

and derek black. im just trying to distract myself from the enoch drama. theres just better ways for him to rebel against his father. maybe become a successful engineer who doesnt even write about race hehehe. or be somewhat moderate and normie rather than turn into a damn far leftist.

if youre gonna be FAR anything, be a far rightist hahahaha.

YES don black has some shady stuff going on with the “unrealized projects” and I hate to agree with the splc on this. but that is fishy and derek is right to be critical of it. but dont turn your back on your race man. not cool.  i mean you dont have to go -1433. just go to 0.

maybe he’s rebelling against don and he doesnt even realize it. don seems like a better father than william pierce but im sure its still intense growing up in VVN 1.0. if stormfront were smart they would engage more with stormer and TRS. like david duke has! funfact: don black married david duke’s ex-wife and created the new human life of derek black with her, hehehehehe.

i guess derek is on this thing now where he was like hwyte europeans were SAVAGES and they didnt invent shit, the MUSLIMS were doing all this shit like ALGEBRA while white barbarians were in caves. good lord.

i mean its a FAIR QUESTION as to WHY the muslims went from being SOMEWHAT scholastic and academic and scientific and intellectual in their golden age of algebra and math and architecture and all that……SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED in the meantime??!?!?!?!

theres a disqus thread on the first official shoah and everyone that isnt kissing mikes ass is being denounced as a renegade-tier moron. wow.

you dont need to divulge too many personal details…..but ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. don’t pretend like thats NOTHING. and then call the people with understandable doubts and skepticism abotu that PURITY SPIRALERS. Come on. I am as SOFT and MODERATE and wishy washy as they come. but I just wanted a little better from him.

shit yeah I’m welcome to leave. there’s the door. yeah well right now i will take one step towards the door because theres still plenty of good stuff at TRS. and I am SURE mike will say plenty of good stuff in the future. but he didn’t do much to DISPEL THE SEED OF DOUBT.

believe me, im no PURITY SPIRALLER. I’ve dont degenerate shit. I am a huge neet loser virgin untermensch hahaha. mike makes 14 times the money i ever will. i just think i would shown more integrity in this situation, hahahahahahaha.

well wheres MY podcast? wheres my forum? wheres my influential Media Platform? thats what i thought hahahaha.

well i’ve had 3 other longass blogs that went nowhere hahaha but I HAVE been associated with pro-hwytes since 2012. I bought a grindy greggy book in 2012 and I got culture of critique in 2013 hehehe. i recognize this guy on stormer forums from comments on heartiste in like 2007 hahaha. he’s found his way over there and I can’t blame him! welcome!

yeah i mean i KNOW in j00 york and j00 jersey EVERYONE is at least 25% jooish hahahahahaha. and its really not the end of the world to be married to a part J. it’s how you talk about it with the damn hwyte nationalist group you started hahahahahahaha. i guess there is not gossip like “is TRS really actually “VVN” or are they gonna disavow or equivocate on that term?

I’m very comfortable with the label, just as I’m very comfortable with “alt-right”, and i admit this can cause confusion, because not everybody conflates alt right with VVN. MY BAD!!!!

But I kinda thought TRS of all people would openly self-identify as VVN.

well, i am more confident that they are pro-hwyte, and thats really good enough. i mean, i would happily take an 88% hwyte nation hahahaha. just no less. dont want to get into a purity spiral here hahaha.

hey at least im not fooking googles like some hwyte trash woman hahahahahaha.

i just hope the fatherland guys maintain their integrity. they MIGHT say more on the next episode. i mean i dont really EXPECT them to, its much less their place than it is mikes place. but i wonder: would they get kicked off TRS if they were too critical of mike? also, they are close with sven. and one of their hosts has essentially become a higherup himself, doing a lot of forum technical work. I’ve really liked this guy BOF and I hope he doesnt start “cucking” or “shilling” hahahahahahaha.

welp better pack muh bags for renetard express, toot toot. go eat a mile of sinead’s shit hahahahaha. heh. i will start my own 1433 media empire before i do that hahahaha. i will meet goys in real life before i do that hahaha.

derek black. this guy is saying all white trvmp voters are extreme VVN’s like stormfront. WRONG. they are just normie hwytes who have had enough. they dont HATE anybody. they arent EXTREMISTS. sheeeeit even many VVN’s dont HATE anybody. I dont HATE anybody. I just want an 88% hwyte country and i want the J’s to stop attacking and slandering and libeling and lying about hwytes, and i want whytes to stop apologizing for it and to be less damn SUICIDAL as a race.

jan 20

hahahaha stupid linkedin GURLS WHO CODE news item in muh feed and leave it to some arab to say LOOKIN BEAUTIFUL LADEEZ hahahaha which i’m not opposed to saying in principle, but you should be smart enough to know not to say on lindkin, but there are so many arab, streetshitter, and chinese trolls and sock and spam and fake accounts on linkedin making stupid comments everywhere. in the past ive seen SJWs take them to task on this is EXACTLY the kind of comment we DONT want to see, but now I think people just assume quite rightly that these people might be BOTS.

i just think its funny that they are nonwhite bots, often indians who themselves are writing code in sweatshops for a dollar a day. bet they wish they could code as good as these 16 year old black girls!

saw a guy today i first met several years ago. but this guy is just great. absolutely great. total mancrush on this guy. he is highly educated and very successful and very respected and also just one of the nicest, sweetest people you could ever meet. i mainly knew his son who was also a real nice, good, decent guy, but, very much like me, he had a hell of a hard time adulting. a lot of that was due to health issues, being born into a bad body, hahaha. so he has a much better excuse than him. but he was a great guy. his father is a great guy too, but way more successful. so i saw the father today and shook his hand heartily and said give my regards to your son, he’s a good guy, you’re a good guy, i’m happy to see you again, and i was. i was in the next room as he gave a presentation to other people with masters degrees and phds and his presentation/lecture was very high energy and interesting. lets just say he’s into educating and listening to him in this “classroom” it made it clear that he would probably be a VERY good educator, teaching, with students. i had never really heard him in this mode before, but big surprise, he’s great at that too.

give this guy an award! the rest of the day i was like holy shit, he is such a great guy, wow, what an awesome dude, was so nice to see him again.

(he completed his phd later in life, within the past 5 years, after he was already successful and had a good career and a nice family. I think I saw him shortly after that happened and congratulated him on it.)

great, great, great, great guy. he seemed to remember me even though i hadn’t seen him in…..over 3 years.

and i was like holy shit. i was in a GOOD MOOD for HOURS after that. I was like DAMN I gotta meet MORE people who are this awesome.

then i thought, well, that’s a little GREEDY. and what’s wrong with the people I already know? are they chopped liver?

but fact is, only 10% of people are in the top 10% of awesome like this guy is. not everybody can BE that awesome.

so i thought, it’s ridiculous to want to meet more people as awesome as him. first, theres not that many people that awesome, second, how am i worthy of knowing so many of them and having them hang out with me?

and then i thought, it would be LESS ridiculous for me to get married to this man so i can cup his balls all day and bask in his awesomeness. that would generally give me the same effect hahahahaha. being around one super duper awesome person all day every day.

and that’s greedy in another way, greedy and needy on one person. im just one man, find some other people to fill your needs. so yeah, having a Team of Many Awesome people would be best.

the trick is FINDING these people and IMPRESSING them so that they LIKE you.

How did I find this guy? I knew his son, who was/is a great guy, but not nearly as AWESOME in terms of being a successful adult. but this endeared me to the son in a different way. i could relate to the son being a “neet loser”, and I couldn’t RELATE to his father, but I had/have a huge mancrush on his father and see him as a great role model.

and it’s terribly mean to call the son a “neet loser” because he was SUCH a nice guy! probably got that from his father, who is SUCH a nice guy as well! so i can’t disparage the son, other to say that its SAD he’s not getting the great life he deserves for being such a nice man like his father.

anyway i looked up the father on linkedin today when i came home and requested a connection. chances are he wont even SEE it, but if he does, that would be nice.

the son doesn’t have linkedin. prob has facebook but i dont have facebook. i hope the son is doing well…….but i wouldnt be surprised if he wasnt. which is sad. he deserves better and is probably depressed af but doesnt even know it. so i didn’t want to push the father too much on this aspect. i just i hope your son is doing ok, he’s a great guy and deserves great things.

anyway im not alone in thinking the father is a great guy. he has LITERALLY touched hundreds of lives as an educator and i’m sure many of those people are cupping his balls as well. he deserves it.

there are sneaky J’s in this world, and sad things happening to good people, but there are also people who are just so god damn awesome you can’t believe they even EXIST, but they do. and if you can meet as many of those people in real life and spend as much time as possible with them……maybe one day you could BE that awesome. wow. what a thought.

the guy is AMAZING. he is an INSPIRATION. I mean every damn word. if it sounds like im gushing its because i am.

all people cant be this cool, unfortunately……….. but you can STILL recognize the awesomeness of regular average joes. i would like to be able to do that more. i just need an EXTREMELY awesome guy to break through my thick shell. but even less awesome people are still awesome enough.

im talking about hwyte people of course hahahahahaha. nonhwytes, i just dont really care about. i dont wish them any harm, but i’m not as concerned about recognizing their awesomeness.

(i guess if you are an educator dealing with a lot of black kids, you might get passionate about recognizing the awesomeness in each one of them. ok fine. in fact i think that’s a mark of an Awesome Educator. which this guy is. except he doesnt teach a ton of inner city black kids hahahahahha.)

but yeah. spend enough time with this guy and you will want to become a TEACHER hahahahahahaha. he’s one of those. one of those that probably ends up in many students “Muh Favorite Teachers Of All Time” lists. really blowing minds, melting hearts. good for them. we all need as much of that as we can get. but i think this can’t be taught in teachers college really. you have to be born with that spirit.

actually i might have some of that spirit! but i do NOT want to go to teachers college and be a damn teacher.

so yeah seeing him was a wake up call for me. that within every hwyte, there’s a spark of that same awesomeness. i might not see it right away. they might not see it right away. but I should FIND it and then SHOW them that I appreciate them for it. be a real cheerleader.

shit i wish i could cheerlead muh SELF in that way, but uhhhh never been able to do that in 30+ years.

it goes without saying this guy is charismatic af. you HAVE to be. it goes hand in hand with all that.

now muh new coworkers, ive said before they are all awesome in their own ways, and they are. i should try to appreciate them for that and to show them that appreciation…..so that they can recommend me for good jobs hahahahahahahaha. you need all the recommendations and references in life that you can GET. for jobs and Grad Skool hahahaha. not that i promise to ever GO to grad skool……but i also want to prove that I’m smart hahahaha. because that’s a legit reason to go to grad skool hahaha.

2 of muh coworkers are pretty charismatic guys, including muh direct manager. good role models, in other words, and i REALLY dont want to WASTE the OPPORTUNITY, the PRIVILEGE of getting to know these people.

this is what every young man needs………but im not a young man any more. i might be too old to really benefit from this stuff hehe. it IS especially valuable to have access to people like this when you are YOUNG.

it’s my HWYTE PRIVILEGE that i had access to types like this when i was young. but i was so fooked up, immature, and sissy anxious, that i AVOIDED people like this. AVOIDED NICE PEOPLE WHO COULD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Well i’ve gotten better about not avoiding them any more hahaha.

and i just want to be good about being a NORMIE and having normie conversations with my good guy manager, for example. have normal conversations and over time build a real Relship, so that i can talk to him about his life and family and career, and even more importantly for muh narcissism, talk about my life and my career hehehehehe.

i’m a total narcissist who is AFRAID to talk about muh self with other people!

now thats a weird ass situation to be in.

because i am ashamed of how little i’ve achieved and how i’ve never had any real career goals.

who doesn’t have career goals?

LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, no one’s a LOSER, but uhhhhh at this point its beyond the scope of an educator, you need a different kind of professional help, have you thought about seeing a shrink or a psychiatrist hahahahaha.

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

So he was talked to this other woman who is currently doing a PHD in a marxist as hell field and is being advised by a marxist professor, and i was like oh great, im gonna have a field day listening to this woman’s lecture.

and yeah there was bullshit in there about hwyte privilege and closing the achievement gap with blacks……but at the same time, these people at least were still genuinely concerned with Just Helping Students Succeed.  Period. and I had to respect that. they weren’t k1kes rubbing their hands with how to keep evil whites down. they just sincerely want to help all students succeed. and i can totally respect that.

i just think they would have a much better go at that if they acknowledged the reality of racial differences.

however i might just agree with them on the class differences. like this woman was talking about the experience of growing up in an honestly shitty town, no one goes to college, let alone gets a phd, and she talks about stories of smart kids who just didnt get the right direction by their teachers. and i can totally sympathize with that . in a way i kinda feel like that.

but most of that is On Me, because I Actively AVOIDED the people who COULD direct, guide, advise, help me put my life on a good path. because i was afraid to Talk To Professors. I do regret that.

not just professors, but just successful middle class winner people in general.

i overheard them talking that middle class kids get more direction in thinking creatively, thinking outside of the box, while the working class kids are more like “just tell me what to do. am i doing this right? tell me what to do and i’ll do it. please.”

which was haunting for me, since I felt like that ALL THE TIME at muh old job, and still feel like that a little bit, generally. i said FOOK creativity, we need to GET THINGS DONE. RESULTS. what do i do to make this work now. creativity is a bourgeois, effete, phaggy luxury that real working people in the real world don’t have time form. creativity is NAIVE and SOFT and WEAK.

i honestly dont put high value on being creative. i would rather get things done. be charismatic, be good with people, do good strong work.

so, according to her, i definitely have more working class values than middle class. which i kinda already knew hahahaha. the whole story of my life has been torn between those two worlds, and failing in both of them.

i would talk to them all day about class. but just stfu about RACE hahahaha.

because i have ALWAYS identified with and support the working class……but i always had class/status anxiety about becoming middle class. using muh SMART BRAIN to go to COLLEGE and get a nice middle class CAREER and marry a woman who’s also “smart” enough to get a college degree and spell words correctly and not get Working Class Tattoos hahahaha.

because there’s parts of the working class I dont like, the white trash shit, but honestly i think those are WAY outweighed by the positives.

so here’s this woman talking about all this stuff and it was honestly very interesting. i wish they had recorded the lecture, or that i had tried to talk to the woman more before the lecture. but i didnt because i felt like a nervous idiot who didn’t know how to talk to phd’s. besides she was a commie antiwhite feminist.

technically yes……..  but i guess i agree with the antiwhite marxists when it comes to class. i am very very pro-working-class. i just dont want a marxist revolution. maybe i want a nonmarxist workers revolution? maybe. one with a huge racial component hahaha. white workers. NSDAP hahahaha.

would REALLY like to meet an awesome inspiring person like this who is closer to muh views on Race. hehehehe.

listen if i were in the position of these educators and had black students who were honestly smart and honestly working hard, no way would i brush them off or try to keep them down. i would want to help them succeed.

if i were ever in a position to really truly literally DISCRIMINATE against someone based on race alone, i would hope i wouldn’t do it. i really wouldnt WANT to be in that position.

i just HATE how these altruistic, noble, good motives got wrapped up with horrible jooish marxism!!!!!!!

like all these admirable educators are also damn democrats who parrot the benefits of diversity to their dying day. can’t we just take that shit out? you can STILL HELP STUDENTS, regardless of race!

like the woman was talking about a student who was smart, but got bad grades. the student wanted to be a lawyer, but because they were a working class person with bad grades, their teachers were like, uhhh you might want to become a paralegal instead. because to be a successful lawyer you need to get on the right PATH: good grades. good schools. and this student was smart enough to be capable of that, but they are guided to be a paralegal instead of a lawyer. that discussion particularly interested me. as a smart person who ultimately got mediocre grades and never ascended to the Successful Track……..BUT PROBABLY COULD HAVE.

and this teacher is concerned with being a good teacher who helps those kinds of students get to that track. and i totally admire that.

i just wish they didnt have to be goddamn diversity loving, trump hating, SJW marxists!!!!!!!! who are scared and sad about the bigotry and hate of white trump voters!!!!!

why cant you be a white trump voter who loves the white working class but ALSO wants to see all students succeed and get on the right path? so that would be my niche hehehehe.

of course LAW is a risky choice anyway. dont become a lawyer OR a paralegal. is what i would tell the student. do a damn trade instead. and i think this woman teacher i was listening to was very open to that idea as well. appreciated the value of trades and trade education/educators. and i am thankful to be around educators who understand that. rather than humanities professors in the ivory tower with soft pink bitchhands hahahaha.

but yeah to be a successful lawyer you should aim for top tier…..or not try at all. its the best or nothing. i mean that’s just how it is with law. i wish it weren’t!

and yeah i wish college weren’t so expensive. i dont even know who to blame anymore.

but i think pushing trades education is always a good idea.

like how about get rid of high schools in black neighborhoods and have them do trades education starting at age fooking 14. get paid working experience starting at age 14, so that they can get a decent paying job at age 18. rather than have these shitty public high schools of teachers babysitting savage, uneducable “Students”. take those students at a young age, 14 at the latest, and get them into military or trade school, before they have time to become savages. that would be my recommendation as a huhwhyte nationalist educator who wants the best for students of ALL races.

lets just move this post into the BEST OF right now hahahaha.

DONE.

i mean heres the thing. i might just AGREE WITH J MARXISTS on some aspects of Education and Socioeconomic Class.

and i dont want J Marxists to have a MONOPOLY on those ideas. I want VVN’s to be able to claim those ideas too.

heh. there was another educator there who has very good reviews from students and teaches a class in Religion. he is a huhwhyte goy who seems to be a Good Teacher. i didnt get to talk or listen to him at all. i mean i have fears that he is a diversity loving shitlib. now his specialty is RELIGION. handsome youngish guy who SHOULD have a wife and 3 young children. does he? i worry that he is a fedora atheist who teaches why religion is stupid and right wing. but why would he get a graduate degree in RELIGION?

but why wouldn’t he get a graduate degree in THEOLOGY or DIVINITY and become a PRIEST?

he seems like a smart guy who knows alot about religion, but would he be good to go to for actual SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE????

i should have asked him why didnt he become a PRIEST hahahaha. i think its because he’s really into ((((buddhism)))) hahahahaha.

no i dont think theres anything inherently wrong with that. ive known some great people who were heavily into buddhism. thinking of an old college friend who was a GREAT, classic, inspiring guy, and he got a grad degree in something buddhist related.

excuse me “professor” but why do you hate christians? are you varg vikernes or something hahahaha at least then we would agree that HOLY FOOK I LUV BEING HWYTE hahahaha.

they might not explicitly luv being hwyte, but if they have a whyte wife and hwyte children………then ITS ALL GOOD!!!!!!!!

and shit i really like the issues that ((((SOCIOLOGY))))) looks at, like race and culture and status and class and society and men and women…………..but i wish there were a hwyte-friendly version of sociology, because currently, its about THE WORST field there is. the absolutely fooking WORST. SAD.

i mean if there were a Hwyte Sociology, I would get a phd in THAT. but there isn’t. there wont be in my lifetime. and i dont have the charisma or awesomeness or influence to make one myself. lets be realistic here. i mean yeah i often underestimate myself, but not here.

its so frustrating. to have smart people talking about very interesting things…..but to take the worst possible perspective on it. except for a few points about wanting to help working class students, or working class people in general. THAT I agree with them on. NOTHING else. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

and theres ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I could have a conversation with these masters and phd-level Educators and convince them that Hwytes are Awesome and plz drop this marxist white privilege bullshit. because I can’t argue, and I sure can’t argue against people who a large part of their jobs is arguing, in favor of shit I want to argue against. they would give me 6000000000 citations from other marxist phds why institutional racism is real and hwytes have a big debt they need to repay.  and i would give a few citations from RACIST, DISCREDITED sources like kmac and uh……cant say dr duke or dr pierce obviously. maybe could say rushton or bell curve or the DNA guy watson. but they already think these people are horrible racists!

uhhh well what about putnam. he was a shitlib who didnt like the conclusions he was reaching, that Too Much Diversity was Bad!

but i didnt even read the book!

supposedly kmac became gradually more redpilled as he did his research and wrote his books. he didn’t want to become a racist but by the third book (CofC), he had arrived, like it or not.

maybe just give copies of CoC to these people hahahaha. let them read it and say, this is hwyte supremacist bullshit thats no better than david duke hahahaha.

and i havent even read all of CoC myself!!!!!!!! its too try and dense hahahahaha.

and doing a phd in ANYTHING requires reading TONS of dry and dense stuff.

this will ALWAYS be inherent to ANY phd. its not going away. so yeah i am leaning away from the phd like i always was.

i mean i always wished i were better at arguing. ive never liked it because ive never been good at it. and certainly my lack of confidence doesnt help. you HAVE to be CONFIDENT to be a good arguer.

and to be a right wing ACADEMIC, you have to be confident and bold as fook. just couldnt do it. so i hate that The University has become so goddamn left wing. i dont need to tell you who to blame for that.

otherwise it might have been a good career path for a smart young man hahahaha.

and i’ve always been interested in this stuff more than any STEM or science, unfortunately. that would have made things a hell of a lot easier too.

so, what should a super right wing person DO for a career?

become a huge capitalist businessman like trump obviously hahahaha.

but i didnt really luv business classes. but if i had gotten a business bachelors degree, prob could have gotten an Entry Level Business Job hahahahahaha. but i would prob hate it because i dont like the way businesses are run. in very jooish, dishonest ways. fuzzy exterior at best, and rotten to the core. exploitin the workin class hahahahahaha. cutting corners and treating human beings as objects to make money.

and NOW i’m talking like a FAR LEFTIST!!!!!!!!!

but i swear. I’m really a far rightist but with strong pro-working class views. so i guess i should go cup matt heimbach’s balls HAHAHAHAHAHA.

no i like, respect, and admire heimbach and should read his stuff more. we need more men like that in the university.

or anglin or weev. or even k1ke enoch hahahaha.

but i also would like to have some role models who are Crazy Hwyte Supremists, but just total damn normies.

this is where that first guy comes in. he teaches in a field that is pretty Apolitical. and he would probably be the most open to listening to Right Wing stuff than the other Decent People I work with.

HOWEVER, I do want to take advantage of the fact that I work with decent people, with great careers, who are Kinda Leftist, but not Ragist Marxists like a Sociology PHD or something, thank GOD, and jsut have normal conversations with them, build Real Relationships with them, so I can Use Them as references and help muh own career, hahahaha. i mean i would buy them dinner in return, and give them good work. but it just involves me being charismatic on a daily basis.

and im not charismatic. i just try to be nice and friendly and smile and ask smart questions and show i’m smart and have initiative. but today i had a chance to make Good Witty Small Talk and I blew it and there was an awkward silence. I could have asked the guy about ANYTHING. movies, his family, his masters degree. but I choked. I mean later in the day I interacted with him and was friendly and smiled and made Good Eye Contact and said Have A Good Weekend so I think I did OK there.

but I want to do BETTER than OK!!!! I have a lot of lost time to make up for! I’m in a hole and have to dig my way out! OK isnt good enough!!!!!

OH YEAH. another reason this is a topkek post: had a dream last night with THAT WOMAN. She looked a little slutty and was acting a little slutty. which was rough because she never looked or acted slutty around me, and i LIKED THAT A LOT.  I wonder if she DID look slutty around me, if that would have made it EASIER in the long run, to shatter my pedestal fiction image of her. probably!

and maybe she DID act and dress slutty around other guys, guys she wanted to FOOK.  black guys hahahahahahaha.

anyway in the dream she was dating a hwyte guy, who was tougher and more badass than me. dressing and acting kinda secsy towards him. I was all butthurt and remember yelling at her: “N1993R FOOKER! you dirty degenerate N199ER LOVER!!! you god damn fooking wh0re!!!!” which really did not look good for me. at that point I look like the butthurt bad guy.

then she responded with hostility, not suprisingly. said no you’re wrong, see i’m not even WITH a black guy, i just needed a real man, not a little bitch like you. and i was acting like a little bitch.

and in real life, i was never that hostile or hateful towards her. i would never say that to her. i was a little angry and hostile, but i was more sad and disappointed and crushed. i still dont think she was a degenerate wh0re. i think she’s a good person who was in a tough situation and took the easy way out. we’ve all done it. i was a little disgusted at some things she was alleged to have done, but not to the extent i was in the dream!

i still view it more with sadness and disappointment, rather than hateful hositility.

not that i had NO anger towards her.

then later in the dream she started attacking me and “my team” of men with a sharp meat cleaver. turning into a horror movie villian who wanted to chop us up. And I brought it all upon myself by being a mean butthurt bitch to her. which then somehow justified her attacking me with a meat cleaver.

so i was humiliated that i lost control and appeared so weak and butthurt in front of her.

and in real life yeah this did sorta happen. i HATED appearing weak and needy and clingy to her. making her push me away. i pushed her away by needing her so much.

but i never said anything like n1993r lover hahahaha. i just said pleeeeaassseeee hang out with me i miss being frinedsssssss with you and she said stop it stop it stop it! leave me alone!

not my finest hour and yeah i am ashamed of being so weak.

so the dream brought alot of that back up. and showed her being Secsy, towards a tougher manlier man. another hwyte man. so i couldnt even bring Race into it hehehehe.

it was a pretty disturbing unpleasant dream! but thankfully it didnt ruin my day, I was over it about 2 hours later, and ultimately had a Pretty Good Day because of seeing That Awesome Guy. totally outweighed the cons of me being Awkward with the coworker and awkward with the other Professional Woman. i wasnt even awkward with her, i just focused on my task. and let other people chit chat with her.

but my job is so low stress, its NORMAL for people to chit chat! i TOTALLY could have left my “work” for 2 minutes to chit chat with her about Her Interests, some of which where 180 to my own, but others which were……360 hahahaha. right dead on.

but she’s a mature educator, i don’t think she is constantly judging people as WEIRD and AWKWARD. she wants the best for her students for gods sakes. she has probably learned NOT to be judgmental to people for being awkward.

i mean MOST people, they WONT judge you for being awkward, they wont even NOTICE IT, BECAUSE ITS ALL IN YOUR FOOKING HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to make a pretty good day even better, theres this. oh GOD BLESS YOU LAD.

though i would have liked if he called them k1k3s rather than dinosaurs hahahaha.

see i wish mike had just been more like woes. at this point, i have more respect and faith and confidence in MW. I feel he is more honest, has more integrity. take the gay scandal. woes didnt blow it off and not talk about it. he made it perfectly clear that he did not support the gay agenda, that gayness was generally degenerate, and that he was glad to put his degen past in the past. he handled that VERY WELL so the people still bashing MW about it do indeed look like autistic shills. i wish mike had approached the JWife situation with similar openness.

i still technically support mike. he has done more good than i will EVER do. i’m just disappointed at how he handled this, which has lessened my faith in him a little. 10 to 20%. there was no such lessening of faith with MW.

heh i found george feels making a comment on another guys video where he HEAVILY suggests that he is JWise and that he listened to Dr Pierce in the god damn 1990s. WOW. i wish george would talk about this in his own videos. i think he will! i hope he does!!!! im being deliberately vague here because i dont want to push him before he’s ready. but i think he will be ready soon. i hope he keeps going down this road, it could help him, it helped me with similar problems. didnt fix them entirely, but it HELPED.

being part of something larger, and very very meaningful, and this holy thing is under attack. 1433 brothers hehehehe.

i listened to dr pierce in 2012 and it was pretty influential to me at that time. he had some GREAT content but his Activism was still VVN 1.0.  also i hear he wasnt the greatest father. SAD. but he could still redpill you on the JQ.

if anything it makes me want to talk to george more. i’ve messaged him briefly and gently encouraged him to look into this stuff…..and apparently he’s already pretty far in. GOOD! GREAT!!!

hopefully by the time this comes out in sept 2017 he will be moar forward about it.

wodensthrone curse – really good. think the second half is maybe stronger than the first! and thats always good. i was getting hair raising chills for like the last 10 minutes STRAIGHT. WELL DONE. i didnt think music could do that any more. that i couldnt get any joy or awe out of music. WODENSTHRONE.

good for george. good man. this increases my confidence in george. i was worried he was just gonna do the same thing for 5 years hahahaha. IMHO he needs to run with the racial stuff, but i wont push him to talk about it before he’s ready. i mean he is putting his actual FACE out there. and its more harmful to be doxxed for VVN than to be doxxed for neet loserness.

i am tempted to email him about this hahahaha but he might think i am a stalker. maybe i will email him in a couple months about it.

friday night, tom off, normally i would have been in bed 2 hours ago, now i am rocking out to WODENSTHRONE and really WRITING like an absolute madman. finally got some people at the card table to will do a little of that.

REALLY wish i had some MJ, AS DEGEN AS IT TRULY IS. that will be my damn VICE.  but on a night like this, i would stay up late, smokin MJ till 2 am hahahaha then crash to sleep a long solid unbroken dreamless refreshing sleep.

well the awesome guy accepted my linkedin invite same day and sent me a message asking for my email, i emailed him back with the info and Cupped The Cajones a little more, hahaha. unfortunately the sent email was formatted all weird so now he prob thinks i am an unemployable weirdo who needs more help than an Educator can provide, hahahahaha.

no i’ll buy him lunch if he wants, shit hes such a nice guy he would probably buy me lunch with his huge paycheck hahaha. i gently suggested to him he should write a book or do a youtube channel. shit maybe hes already written a book. probably a sizable minority of people we get have written books.

also today was inauguration day. did i mention that hahaha. trvmpenfuhrer is now no longer president elect, but full blown president. not bad. now watch him cuck for ZOG hahahahaha. but let us bitter fearful bigoted working class ammosexual trumpanzee hwytes have our brief moment of happiness hehehe.

i mean educated people treat you like youre IGNORANT if you say you dont believe nonwhites are OPPRESSED. period. oh you cant be SERIOUS. how can you not SEE the institutionalised racism! a person today was talking about “cultural capital” and yeah these sociology concepts are potentially useful, but they just take it to the wrongest conclusion.

i mean shit, maybe nonwhites ARE oppressed. but you wanna play that shitty game, you know who else is oppressed? HWYTES!!!! hahahaha. oppressed by J plutocrats and media masters and Globalist Banksters.

maybe my holy mission is to organize all goyim against the eternal international J hahaha. goyim here meaning whites and blacks and browns.

maybe i will get banned for even using the word g0yim hehehe. stupid g0yim. the G0YIM KNOW, SHUT IT DOWN!

what if i lived in the UK where they have no freedom of speech? dont tons of UK people use wordpress????

listen man i’m not inciting anything and i don’t HATE anybody. this is not a rabid hate channel hahahahaha. and these scumbags still went after MW. so glad he came back with his new video saying FOAD you scum.

 

WHY CANT MORE WOMEN THINK SLVTTISHNESS IS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS

jan 5 new current year

just getting ready for the day. 656 am. i could PROBABLY sleep in an extra 15 minutes. maybe i will eventually do that. but i like having this buffer of time to write a few sentences, check email, and, of course, go make explosive coffee water #2’s like i am about to do right now.

ok did that. i mean its really quick.

anyway yeah my main issue now, and i didnt really have this at the previous job because that job was so stressful and packed that we really never had a chance to talk about anything not job related, we were all just trying to survive day to day. but now that the pace is a little slower THANK GOD, i am pressuring myself to be more social and charismatic and normie.

i mean i will take this new problem ANY DAY over what I faced before. im not complaining haahahha. well i kind of am. but never forget, that in comparison, it is not even 1% as bad altogether. i get a 99% reduction in stress and panic and thats The End Of The Story.

spent like an hour responding to a Support Ticket today that in my previous job, would have been expected to knock out in 20, or better 10 minutes. it doesnt matter if you dont know the answer. find the answer and answer it within 10 minutes. I laboriously wrote an email like the sloth. included Too Much Information and Misinformation. and I probably didnt even need to do ANYTHING, because someone else would be in in the afternoon that knew a lot more about the topic. an SME. but i was determined to Do Something and Add Value and figure out how to use the ticket system better. So I took a shot at it and hopefully superiors say good for him to try this, rather than, oh shit what a stupid fookup, i wish we could fire him, but he’s in the union grrrrrr. he totally did this wrong. gave the person bad advice, poorly written, and used the program in more wrong ways than we could imagine hehehehe.

anyway i did ok i guess. give myself a little more crrrrredit hahaha. had a paltry two customers in today and tried to act like a nice normie to them. painfully awkward small talk. jeez. for a while, i used to be GOOD at this. at my previous job. after i talked to people ALL DARN DAY i got pretty good at small talk. wish the learning curve wasnt that rough. because i cant handle talking to people ALL DARN DAY….well, when its complicated complex shit. and what im doing now is nowhere near as complex. it can get complex, but there are SEVERAL SME’s with Masters Degrees just waiting to Yank the Case from me. Aint No Need to BEG like I did before!

the beotch in the comments is half good and half bad. she says that she is automatically suspicious of anyone who talks of a BEST friend who is opposite sexs,usu means you are in luv with them. i would tend to agree! i guess you can have normal acquaintance friends of the opposite secx, but once you upgrade them to BEST friends or really really really close top tier friends….you are at big risk of getting FEELINGS for them. because of the INTIMACY.

i hate how wimmin dont think SEX is INTIMATE. god damn fooking SAVAGES.

well at least got under in calories today.

would LUV some MJ hahahaha.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=small%20talk%20for%20socially%20awkward%20people

i dont HATE small talk. i totally understand the idea of and why small talk is important. i would like to be able to DO small talk! any stupid autist who says small talk is retarded…..well thats a very immature and stupid thing to say. small talk is the basis of everything. big talk. relationships. success. friends. luvers. showing that you have charisma and confidence and that you are a smart cool charming person and worth hanging out with. or you can faily miserably and show what a boring, awkward, desperate, pathetic omega neet virgin you are hahahahahaha. this is all accomplished on the battlefield of small talk. small talk is ridiculously important and big hahahaha. i totally get that.

so yeah i luv the idea of small talk. i hate trying to do it and failing at something so important.

well this job will def be another big step in getting over that woman. makes it more and more distant. but damn i wish i hadnt been so pathetic and stupid and Creepy. wish id been stronger and cooler and not so desperate and needy and clingy.

so apparently you cant just walk into a store and buy MJ in california nao.

i guess i could tell people that i am interested in Relships and read Relship Advice stories a lot. because I honestly DO! this is kinda weird but its prob my most normie interest. i mean, cant talk to people about WN1488, Alt Right, or Black Metal. talking about RELSHIPS sounds completely reasonable and normie next to all that. and I could work in some spin on how casual secs is degenerate and sinful and disgusting.

women can be awkward and it doesnt hurt them, they can still gets jobs and relships. men and women are probably about equally socially awkward, but theres DISPARATE IMPACT on the men.

anyway. re that woman. yeah now that i think about it, a series of long conversations probably wouldnt have done much good. what WOULD have done some good is me making a BRIEF statement EARLY, like: yep i’m starting to act weird and want to hang out all the time becuase i’m starting to get feelings for you. This is getting hard for me to deal with and I don’t mean to Ghost you, but just do me a solid and give me some time and space, because I dont think you feel the same way, and I need some space to get over my feelings for you. Sorry. Best Wishes in life. You are a good person and I don’t mean to dump you. But this is hard for me and it needs a lot of effort from me. Think of a time when you got feelings for a guy friend and he didn’t return them. It was challenging, wasn’t it. The end.”

even that’s a little too long. and then if she did have feelings, she could respond to that. hahahahaha. so yeah. clearly she thought i was the entitled nice guy and was dreading the dreadful conversation where i tried to BEG her to be with me and tell her why she was WRONG when she said she didnt want me. and she didnt want to put up with that.

i mean i was already BEGGING her to respond. why wouldnt i BEG her to reconsider or change her mind or pleeeeease luvvvvv me back. the torture of hours of me begging.

yeah well i didnt even get a chance. thats the point. maybe i would have been mature about it. but desperate luv compromises your maturity. shit.

but yeah. i coulda and SHOULD HAVE finished all this with one SHORT email in december 2014. rip the bandaid off. sorry babe but I like like you. i obv need to get over that because you dont return the feelings. so i have to take a break from this friendship. i dont want to leave you in the lurch so let me know if i can pay an early termination fee or something. reddit said this can hurt for the friend to get friend dumped, so tell me what i can do to make this easier for you. though i promise you its a LOT harder for ME hahahahahahaha because my heart is utterly broken now and I might fall off the wagon and start doing heron again and K myself hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha jk.

why would i even LOOK at tinder. its full of sluts who think casual sex is OK. fundamental incompatibility of Core Moral Values.

i want to meet women who think sluts are gross and being a slut is gross. i want to meet women who JUDGE sluts. negatively.

WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE JUDGE SLUTS NEGATIVELY. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE THINK SLUTTISHNESS IS OK. DAMN. WHY CANT MORE PEOPLE, ESP WOMEN, JUST THINK ITS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT GROSS.

and why are these damn sluts such successful ADULTS. good normie ADULTS. good at college, good at career, people dont think theyre WEIRD, they LEARN shit and UNDERSTAND shit and can EXPLAIN shit. really get deep into blooms taxonomy of learning hahahaha. learn something deeply. you dont learn something until you can teach it to someone else. those who can’t do, teach HAHAHAHAHAHA.

some people say, dont do a masters degree unless you’re passionate and absolutely sure about it. dont half ass it, or use it as a stopgap because you dont know what else to do, you will waste too much money for too little return.

i tend to like this school of thought.

but then there the other side, which is like, we all need to pay our dues and do things that are tough and expensive and struggle in the medium term of 4 years or so, so things pay off 5, 10 years later. the day comes where you put away your childish toys, put on your big boy pants, and accept that you have to go to work for a living, and spent 80% of your waking hours doing things you dont really WANT to do, that you arent really PASSIONATE about, so you might as well maximize this by doing something that will pay off in the long run.

well, i had enough trouble going to college in a state of welp, i dont know what to do, but i got good grades in high school and i’m expected to go to college. so just pay your dues, get the extremely expensive piece of paper, and then you’ll be set.

but that was all lies hahahaha. so now the goalposts are moved? and i should go into GRADUATE school with the same mindset?

yeah but its a lot different getting into grad school than getting into undergrad. i did great in high school and got into a good undergrad without really much effort or maturity or planning. i did completely average in undergrad and could not see myself getting into an above average grad school without totally busting my ass in a go-getting, gung-ho, high-energy way that i have NEVER been.

and it doesnt seem WORF IT to pay shitloads of money to go to an average or below-average grad program, just to treat it as College 2.0 for when College is the New High School and Grad School is the new College and i hate the whole scam system anyway!

but in life you gotta SUCK IT UP and DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!

and why dont NORMIES have such a god damn internal conflict about it? they just go ahead and work hard and GIT R DONE.

heh. i wish i had a Career Coach ever since I was 16, staying on my ass and saying you need to do this, you need to do that.

now some people, their families do that. the chinee high expectations father. you can become doctor or engineer. get your masters degree or youre out of the family. i didnt have that at all, i was SPOILED.

cuz i didnt WANT to do anything. i needed to be trained with the carrot and the stick. left to my own devices in College, i totally went astray. a strong guiding hand, a foot being put down, that prob would have helped me in the long run. classic first world problems of being first in the fam to go to college hehehe. and of course i didnt appreciate that privilege at all. damn.

if i had to go to college, should have gone to local uni and stayed at home so the fam could have kept me in line, from doing stupid shit like MJ and alcohol.

but i still did MJ and alcohol when i was at home! i just hid it really well. i either would have gotten a DUI much earlier (which prob would have been GOOD), and probably did a bit less MJ, which DEF would have been good. definitely would have seen less of those crazy women doing crazy shit, which would have been good.

i dunno. alternate realities and what ifs and all that. i mean i still went crazy over women when being at home.

but yeah. ive never liked SCHOOL, and ive never liked WORK, and doing EITHER is PULLING TEETH.

See those normies? GOALS.

Goals are important. Goals are A Thing. See what happens when you have goals? You should have goals. Get Goals. Goals. Just Achieve Them.

all of education is fooked up. from grade school to grad school. serious fundamental problems with ALL of it.

heh. there should be homeschool grad school.

but you dont NEED grad school!!!!

well grad school is just perfect for some people! they are total grad school nerds! they clearly belong there!

i couldnt see myself getting in just because i couldnt see myself getting convincing recommendations and statement of intent. uhhh i want to get into grad school because i cant get a 26k FT job with a bachelors degree, so i’m really just treating this as high school 3.0. i fookin hate school but this is the bare minimum for being lower middle class in 2000s.

I would MUCH RATHER Just Work A Job. An Entry Level, 25k a year job, than go to god damn grad school. not that i have a good shot at getting into grad school ANYWAY! I have a better chance at getting the 25k a year job! and weve seen how fooking ridiculously godforsakenly hard THAT is! maybe it IS easier getting into a masters degree at a shitty noname school! MBA at phoenix!

yeah but i dont WANT to do an MBA, i would rather do a masters in relationship and despair counseling. which is an inherently useless degree! catch 22 here. quite the dilemma. and i dont want to be a social worker working with welfare blacks for a contractor with the city of oakland or the city of ferguson or something.

although its funny. today one of my “customers” was a black guy with an mba and I tried to make small talk with him. he was much better at it than me, but i am at least trying to be nice folks, i swear. but i cant talk about sports or anything. i cant tell this black guy that i am a trump supporting hwyte nationalist racist hahahaha. i nervously mentioned my interest in “news and current events”, which is FAIR…..BUT WHAT IF PEOPLE TAKE THAT BAIT and try to get you talking about TRVMP??????

well shit, this guy could actually BE a trump supporter, he seems to be a rather moderate, conservative, white acting, oreo black. almost like he is now overcompensating to not talk like a black, he is very well spoken, great speaking voice. he even made jokes about the HR diversity sensitivity training we had to do about trannies and shit hahahahahaha. i laughed and said yeah I hear ya man. well we didnt talk specifically about trannies. or have a frank conversation on race hahahahahaha.

see i dont hate blacks hahahaha. i just had an awkward conversation with a grad school educated black man hahahaha.

also all these people have experience giving lectures and discussions in front of groups of people. they have done that hundreds of times. there is no possible argument that this is not a GREAT life skill.

i would be dropping the spaghetti all over the place. oh now im the TEACHER and my STUDENTS are gonna think im an IDIOT. i never wanted to be a teacher but now i want to be a teacher even LESS, hahahahaha.

shit i can barely be a STUDENT. I can barely be a 13k a year EMPLOYEE. I cant even be a bare minimum ADULT. hahahahaha. I fooked up on easy mode, cant even deal with NORMIE MODE, hahahahaha.

funny all this goddamn self doubt even though now i am damn WORKING and that is an INFINITE improvement over where i was 2 months ago. why not just be happy about that.

went all in with AA, guy beat me with full house. sheeeeeeit.

heh. wonder what that woman is doing with her life right now. i know she got a job similar to what we were doing. probably making similar or more money, maybe higher up, def lots of hours, def lot more money than me, def making literally TWICE the money I am making. well shell have plenty of money to spend on her black bastard then hahahahahahahahahahahaha wawawawawawawawawawawa im so sad and lonely and want her back and will never get over her, muh perfect waifu hhahahahaha.

yeah i am playing things up a bit. but for a long time thats how bad it was. bad shit. wouldnt wish on worst enemy.

i guess its worse when i am working alongside 20 year old kids and they are all going to college, yup working on muh engin degree or nursing degree or HR degree, and then they graduate and get a 28k a year job, while you remain at the kid student job. at least here i dont have any young kids beside me being a constant reminder of what an old failure i am hahahahahahaha.

HUHWHYTE FEVER, HUHWHYTE FEVER, WE KNOW HOW TO DO IT

dec 22

what is SO IMPORTANT to you means NOTHING to them.

you feel close to them because you text them every day and they respond. big fookin deal. they spend all day texting 900000000000000 guys a day every day. nothing special there.

so you fooked them and now youre getting feelings and want to spend moar time with them. nothing special there, she’s fooked 90000000 guys and it means nothing, its just fooking, just secs.

so youve known her for years and you think thats special, big deal, she’s known a LOT of people for years, you’re nothing special.

but yeah. she was the ONLY person I texted almost every day. i had no desire to text anyone else every day. now i didnt text her 90000000 times a day, but just a couple times a day, and took some days off if i felt she was getting overwhelmed. and 90% of the time, she responded to me like she WASNT getting irritated or overwhelmed. So we continued texting on 80% of days. and that meant something to me because i didnt do that with ANYONE else. And I havent done that with anyone else since things ended with her.

so for you, the texting every day relationship might feel special, but for them, its no big deal, its something they can just throw away.

saw a 45 to 50 year old woman in the office next to mine and i was like hmmm damn look what she’s wearing, she has got quite the body on her for an older woman. i think i would definitely enjoy banging her hahahaha. stalk her briefly on the internet and find she is 51 years old. thats a first hahahaha. well, she looks very good for that age! seriously!

no, i dont have a THING for “MILFS.” shit yes i do prefer younger women to older women. but its just rare that you see an older woman with a good body. most women become fat and or blown out in general hehehehe.

but yeah. i just hate how every experience with a woman that was so important and meaningful to ME, was not important at all to them. everything is casual. casual secs, casual rels, casual lives, casual deaths, casual murder, casual people, casual friends, casual family, casual lovers, casual husbandos, casual children. doesnt anything mean anything to them? yep the big tuff alpha negatives they fall in luv with and would sell out their family and children for.

that feel when you jerk off thinking about banging a 50 year old woman. feels weird man hahahahaha.

hey this is probably the best way you can have purely recreational, casual secs, by banging a woman who is not fertile.

sheeeeit. i find that my writing is not as good as I want it to be. I think its mainly a matter of just being rusty, because i dont write Business Communications every day, well, i hadn’t been. so switching to the intentionally shitty writing i do every day here, well, intentionally lazy low effort I should say, to the high effort, concise, smart sounding writing I have to do when writing emails to people with masters degrees and phd’s, i mean thats a challenge. which i should not give up on.

for example the email I was suggested to write to some software users 2 weeks ago, eventually made it to the CIO, phd of the organization, as he recommends a pilot program for some staff. so the new guy with really rusty writing is trying to craft an email to experienced people, and it eventually gets to a phd who has been in a highass higher up position for 10 years. who has the power to tell my manager, himself an accomplished, educated, impressive professional, wtf were you thinking hiring this idiot who cant even write a coherent sentence. does he have emotional problems? was he out of a job for 15 months or some shit? is he a 35 year old neet virgin? he sure writes like one! hahahahaha.

see, another RAFT of DISTORTIONS. illogical thinking. i think people can TELL shit about me, when they really CANT. i think they are sitting here putting me under a microscope and judging me, when tbh they dont have the TIME.

well, some of them DO have the TIME. but they’d rather be flirting understandably, with the hawt milf admin assistants hahahahaha and banging a 45 year old womans tits in the storage closet hahahahahahhahahaha. maybe looking at webcam gurls from their work computerz hahahaha.

no the people in my org are on average really good people. i’ve been AMAZED at all the nice, decent, good, friendly, outgoing, genuinely good, non-sneaky people i’ve met here. the place seems to attract good people. big part of why i would luv a FT Career Job there.

even the higher ups are nice. maybe they do sleazy things in their office but they are nice to me and thats all i really care about when i am on the job. i mean i am just trying to survive one day at a time hahahaha. not that that is NEARLY as hard and grueling as it was at muh previous job. i mean theres an actual risk of me sitting there BORED with NOTHING TO DO. I cant even COMPREHEND this. that gives me a new sense of weirdness and anxiety. but its much much much better than the anxiety of answering phones all day and oh god i dont know what to do or what to say or how im gonna get out of this mess!!!! and muh relship with one of muh closest friends is going down in flames and shes sitting right there handling this shit just fine and not talking to me!

so yeah i will take care not to fall in luv with any of the women at muh new job hehehehe. probably should try not to bang the 50 year old woman in the supply closet hahahahahaha. but shit. you cant fall in LUV with a 50 year old woman, i dont care WHO you are.

but yeah like i say, i already have years of experience in this org, its a large 600+ employee org and i guess the culture is just really good, i like it, wouldnt LUV getting a FT career here until I am 65 hahahaha. i have worked in 2 departments here and interacted with people from even more departments and they are always nice and friendly and good decent good faith people. all the managers and supervisors have been decent non-scamming, straight shooting, respectable, accountable people. i appreciate that.

i never should have left 3 years ago. i got along with That Woman so well, we started talking naturally about jobs, she found a place that was hiring a bunch of people, we both got in, over the long term she toughed it out, and i gave up hehehehe. no i dont BLAME her for getting me that job…..im just saying if i never met her, i never would have gotten the job, and i never would have left the job i didnt really want to leave. but i NEEDED to leave it. at the time i felt it was a sign from GOD that he put my lovely friend in my life to help me break out of my Comfort Zone. hehehehehe.

so yeah i dont BLAME her for any of that. but i do regret taking that job and i do regret meeting her. but i dont hate her or blame her. just saying she was a net negative for me hahahaha. great highs but even greater lows. it was just a sad sad sad situation and i really didnt need that. but it wasnt her FAULT. she didnt do it intentionally. it was just a perfect shitstorm. when you are a lonely old man and you get along so well with a Lovely Young Woman. its a greek tragedy waiting to happen. and boy did it ever. holy shit. i did not respond to that challenge well.

so i work with nothing but very educated, very nice, very experienced, very professional people. its RIDICULOUS. these degrees these people have, I dont even know what they are. EdS degree. good lord. like this woman who essentially works next to me all day. when i think about her career and education and accomplishments I get damn INTIMIDATED!  yeah i talk mad shit about career women with their masters degrees, but this woman is honestly SMART AF! not like the chattering “flibbertigibbets” uncle bern talks about where he rightfully wonders, how do these idiots have graduate degrees. not so with the people i work with. like this WOMAN. I am kinda glad to meet a WOMAN like this. it proves to me on a daily basis that women actually CAN be smart and mature and reasonable and rational and logical and smart.

anyway i didnt want to pry but i gently got her talking about her family, because i am always interested in peoples personal lives, unlike uncle bern hahahaha. i will gossip about people’s families and wives and children all day. so turns out her daughter, who is probably 8 to 10 years younger than me, is making over 70 grand a year in a very in-demand field. she will never have a problem finding a very good paying job anywhere in the world. she went to a very selective, very well regarded university, albeit a very expensive private one, i guess taking on a decent amount of debt because this is prob the most expensive college in the state. but her gamble paid off because now she is making 70k a year at age 23, 24, 25. real high achiever. started a competitive, accelerated masters degree program within weeks of graduating undergrad. had masters degree less than a year later. had job offers before finishing that. was making fooktons more money at age 22,23 than i ever will in my whole life……and i went to a selective, competitive undergrad univ too! I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and she got married around the age of 25 too! not riding the cok carousel too much despite being a very successful very young career woman!

so i said wow, good for her, she played her cards very well, you should be proud of her. i didn’t harp on how i was such a loser who could have been a contender. i tried to sound intelligent talking about colleges and grad schools and companies and industries and trends hehehehe. tried to talk like somebody who coulda been a grad school contender.

i mean i HATE grad school but the way this womans daughter did it, i am in favor of that: in demand fields, competitive programs, etc. exactly the type of shit I could never get into….but could have i hadn’t royally screwed up by being a fookin basket case in Uni. Peaked in high school, crashed and burned in Uni. This is what happens folks. but if you don’t crash, you can KEEP peaking past uni, past grad school, and peak in your damn 40s or 50s when you move from being a damn executive, to starting your own company and being the CEO President and hiring people from harvard to be your executives. which is the path this young woman is on. which i could have been on.

but, right now, I just dont want what I can get. and with good reason IMHO. paying 50 grand for a shit tier MBA-like degree that has a 50% chance of getting a 40k a year job……or if you are an underachiever without great social skills or high confidence or high energy or a great attitude or a great work ethic………. it wont get you anything.

and i see whcih of those groups i fall into and im like FOOK THIS SHIT, this is a losing bet for me, 50 grand saved is 50 grand earned, especially then the bet isnt gonna bring anything back for me over the long term.

so if i can make as much money without a masters degree as with one, then i might as well start trying to make that money right. hehehehe. and that has been a struggle of course. to make more than high school graduate money hehehe.

shit i mean if the people i work with NOW, PUSHED me to do a masters degree, they might be able to convince me. i mean i’m not ruling it out entirely. i never have. i am just skeptical as FOOK. you have to make a REALLY good argument to me. and really ive never been in the position to have people make that argument to me, until NOW.

theres this one woman at the new job who is super duper ridiculously nice to me……and that is exactly the type of thing i should try to take advantage of. she may want the D hahahaha. she is like 55 years old and not really a bangable 55 hahahaha, but she is not obese and not really ugly, and I KNOW she was prob a solid 8/10 when she was 25 hahahahahahaha.  anyway yeah i should get HER to write me a letter of recommendation, get HER to be a reference, buy HER lunches and dinners, anyway she says I am VERY SMART and she’s got a masters degree from a Good, Well-Known School hehehehe. which i will not name because doxing. but people have HEARD of this school.

so yeah when someone with a masterz degree from stanford says I Am Very Smart, I Blush with Pride hahahaha, i dont even care if they have a Schoolgirl Crush on me. I will TAKE that compliment hahaha. no they didn’t go to STANFORD, the place was a little worse than that hahahaha.

I SWEAR IM NOT AN IDIOT……..OR AM I??????? hehehehe. The way to muh heart is to reassure me that I am SMART. cuz I HATE feeling like a 101 IQ moron.

anyway she has a daughter who is probably a successful professional as well. who is probably AROUND my age, maybe a little younger hahahaha. working with people who have children who are a little younger than you, and WAY more successful than you, hahahaha. weird feel man.

i mean yeah at this point i will TAKE peoples patronizing pity. its better than NOTHING hahahahahahahaha.

and they are really not too patronizing or pitiful about it, they seem genuinely NICE! and i appreciate niceness. I try to BE that nice.

i just dont want to be too LAZY and too AFRAID to take action to pay it forward, like to buy people lunch and be outgoing and giving and talk to people. because this is a great OPPORTUNITY and i dont want to BLOW it. i have a habit of BLOWING OPPORTUNITIES. and giving up when the going gets tough. and here the going wont be getting too tough thank GOD.

and sometimes it seems UNFAIR that really this job is SO EASY and so low stress, while there are people out there getting fookin thrown the wolves. so i gotta approach that by being thankful and by paying it back/forward/whatever, by being a Really Nice Guy and SHOWING that to people, and not being too AFRAID to actually do that. bring in fookin donuts every day. do favors for people. buy fookin top shelf coffee and keurigs. buy gifts for people.

dec 23

this fookin guy just followed me on youtube who says he is alt left, and his ideal is white male asian female pairings. i guess he’s a white guy who believes the perfect race should be bred by white men with asian women. and he is NOT joking. WOW. I mean WMAF specifically grinds muh gears, I am VERY anti-yellow-fever. I only have HUHWHYTE FEVER. song parody of bee gees song hahahaha.

he has paired up with robert stark who i used to listen to regularly in 2012, 2013, then he disappeared, then he came back. he was never blatantly alt right but also had really interesting guests and is truly a Fair and Balanced journalist. he has WNs and Alt Right people on and doesnt judge them and i think he is probably redpilled on JQ. but i want him to have more of a personal opinion hehehe. he also sorta nnnnnnnoticed me sempai on my previous blog, so that HAD to be around 2012 or 13 at the latest. i mean he’s been around for a while and does quality work. but his new cohost is this weirdass asian lover, and i dont like that hahahaha. its not even strictly degenerate, its fookin WEIRD and disturbing and IMHO, Race Treason. but i will forgive a guy if he repents!

day before xmas eve. went to supermarket and it was the most packed i had ever seen it. had to buy some containers or boxes to wrap small presents in. also wanted to buy some fancy coffee to reward myself hahahaha. bought some sumatra organic coffee. i buy organic coffee to treat muhself. it is pretty good. not sure if as overwhelminingly good as I hoped, but its good.

last night felt the urge to crack open “THE CULTURE OF CRITIQUE” by stefan molyneux HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and give it another try. it is a ridiculously dense book and honestly kind of dry unfortunately. its not a ripping page turner like you would want. there really should be a CoC for Dummies. i mean it takes a lot of effort and agency to read 1 page even. but its an IMPORTANT book, everyone should have a copy, and you should buy 20 copies for xmas and give it to your friends and family. should be required reading in all schools. you dont need to read it all at once. just have it in your house so when you want to read it, its there for you. buy copies to give to all the area libraries.

https://upfrommorallylazyloserness.wordpress.com/muh-top-tier-topkek-poasts/

added this new link to sidebar, decided I needed to have a page of all my better poasts, the top 5% or so. that when i go back and reread it i say, yep, thats one of the better ones. this is where i will collect them. is was yesterdays post that was a good one and made me say, hmm, i have to start organizing these for the readers hehehehe. or at least for myself hahaahaha.

went to social game yesterday and the suburban tavern was PACKED with more young qt gurls than i have seen in years. i think it was The Middle Class Gurls are Home From College for the Holidays. see, some of the cutest gurls Go Away to College and start riding the cock carousel, and i never see them, because they are segregated away in the college towns, and i def do not live in a college town! i used to when i went to college in a college town, and i can ASSURE you, there was a RIDICULOUS number of qt young gurls there, because they are taken OUT OF the Real World and put in these damn colleges to be sluts, and that is DEPLORABLE. They SHOULD be in the Real World. because these are REAL WOMEN, and it also PROVES the feminists and marxists are jooish liars when they say men have unrealistic standards of beauty for women. BELIEVE ME. there was like 10 girls in this tavern who surpassed unrealistic standards for female beauty then. i mean an 8/10 qualifies as Drop Dead Gorgeous. I mean these women are SO ATTRACTIVE i don’t even really WANT them. I just laugh and say, no im not missing out on anything, those women are SO above my league I know I dont even have a chance. And I am not bitter or butthurt about it. but i am kinda butthurt about not seizing the opportunity when I was that age and going to college in a college town FILLLLLLLLLLLED with young BEAUTIFUL girls!!!! hell NO i never even STARTED getting it out of muh system!

i am actually MORE interested in the young women who Arent Perfect Beauties, who have something Off about them. That Woman would be a good example. Compared to these Topkek Beauties, she was more of an Ugly Duckling, but that was MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH for me.

but yeah. you want to see “unattainable” beauty? just go to any large college town and look at all those beautiful 18-21 year old girls! you will find THOUSANDS of them in every state in the union! it’s not a hollywood and new york only thing! you will find THOUSANDS of them at University of KANSAS!!!!!!!!! I DARE you to even TRY to prove me wrong.

and this is mother nature making even AVERAGE women ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS at this time in their lives. 18-21. so they can pull a great man and start having many healthy children with him. instead they go to college to ride the cock carousel, get indoctrinated, and prepare for a life of career worship, cats, and moar cock carousel. DEPLORABLE.

basically there are SHITLOADS of BEAUTIFUL young women out there, which actually makes me optimistic, in that if ANY of these women were hanging out with me, showing interest in me, and being loyal to me, and wanted to be muh gf basically, i would FORGET THAT WOMAN EVER EXISTED. there are MANY women out there who could REPLACE and ERASE her PERMANENTLY and make me forget I ever knew her. that are BETTER than her in EVERY way. there are TONS of possible women in Suburban Trvmp Country USA who would wipe the floor with That Woman.

Just go to a Tavern in a Middle Class Whitish Neighborhood on Xmas Break.

and before you had Jooniversities, these women would just be remaining in their hometowns where they belong instead of being physically removed, turned into sluts, then moving to cities to be even bigger sluts.

of course, i mean these girls were SO qt that i wouldnt CARE if they had been with 20 guys by age 20. well, i WOULD care if I were trying to Date Them. and after banging them, i would inevitably want to date them, and they would inevitably dump me.

just go to a large uni for engineering, do your first 2 years (or more!) at community college, then when you first arrive on campus as a 20 year old junior, go to parties and social events, don’t drink, and try to pick up innocent looking 18 year old freshman gurls. there are still plenty of VIRGIN GURLS out there. find an 18 year old virgin and she will luv you because you are her FURST, and then marry her and give her many children, make lots of money in your stem career, give it to your beautiful large huhwhyte family, and live happily ever after. LITERALLY. and your wife will always luv you and be loyal, because you are her FURST, ideally she would be your FURST too, and she’s DEFINITELY not gonna leave you if you are successful and make good money. live happily ever after. the end. and then your many huhwhyte children grow up to be successful and have large huhwhyte families like you did. can you even IMAGINE a more beautiful thing?

and people actually DO this! this isnt an unrealistic, unreasonable goal like becoming president or becoming a pro sportsball aflete or becoming a rapper.

heh. THAT WOMAN was an 18 or 19 year old virgin when she committed to her original boifran. she was loyal to him and worked to improve the rel when it got rough. she didnt bail out or throw him away. heh. of course then i wished I could have been her First Luv and have her show that loyalty and effort and hard work and luv and commitment and devotion to ME. and kinda jelly of that guy. what a PRIVILEGE to have an 18 year old virgin gurl LUV you and be COMMITTED to you. many of us will never know that feel hehehehehe. the best you will get is some MERCENARY who gives you her body for a MINUTE and you NEVER FORGET IT and she forgets you after a minute. cuz it means nothing to her, and means a lot to you. ya omega neet virgin hehehehe.

good morning huhwhyte america with adam and mary is now taking bitcoin dnations hehehe. shut up and take muh money.jpg hhahahahahaha. they are wholesome and comfy AF. and assholes like varg and sinead would give them shit for being CHRISTCUCKS hahahahahaha. uh oh, then they are jooish shills by definition hahahaha.

 

BABOON BRAINFRAME

dec 18

finished chapin book. if i weren’t already a LIFELONG FAN, it probably wouldnt convince me of anything, i wouldnt like the book, i mean it was a pretty flawed book with its kinda rough writing style, missing important points, or maybe that was just him leaving the reader wanting more. i mean if he wants to self publish short books every year, ill damn buy them! MGHOW was worth it for telling personal stories which he never used to tell in his videos (when i used to watch ALL his videos at least.) dirty degen details of his secs life, the women he dated.

now, i want to know more about his ex WIFE. in this book he also talked for about 1 page about going to grad skool and becoming a Skool Psychologist. I would like a whole chapter or book on that.

he mentions his mother was a clinical psych for 30 years and had a practice where she largely had Neurotic Career Women as clients. His Mother Knows Women.

This is HUGELY interesting and Uncle Bern should write a book on women with his MOTHER. He needs to talk about his Based Mother a lot more and how she helped him understand women.

maybe involve his mother or sister in his videos or books. especially the mother. i know she is still alive and he talks to her regularly. She sounds like a Red Pilled Woman who Bern actually respects and with good reason.

i am considering writing a review on the amazon page. i know Bern really appreciates that. i might identify the review with muh alt right username. which I am NOT using on this page because even though this page talks about alt right a lot……..i still dont want to come out to the alt right as saying i am the alt right NEET OMEGA LOSER who writes the alt right neet omega loser blog whining about women and being a neet loser.

i mean haters could probably put two and two together, but i dont want to give it to them on a silver platter! i mean they could definitely do it.no doubt. im talking about my alt right nonneet username being connected with my alt right neet username here. never does muh real life identity being doxxed enter in. of COURSHE i have opsec of the utmost priority on that.

going to go for powerwalk at 1pm today. sunday. sunny but cold. need to use boots hehehe.

made 5 ovenburgers on today sunday. put them into little baggies with cheese and buns and put them in freezer. good 2 go.

did 1 load of laundry. medium sized. shirts and pants for job. done.

yesterday did 1 load of laundry too. drawz and socks and hats and gloves and dark stuff.

previous day did 1 medium load of laundry, all white t shirts only.

yesterday made 20 cigarets. trying to do that every saturday night. make 20 cigarets even if i only smoke 10 during the week. then put the 10 into a separate bag. i like having a big bag o cigarets in case i run out of pre rolleds.

also smokin 10 cigarets a week is not bad.

Bone Zone SHUT DOWN from youtube! i knew it would happen but that was less than 1 month. wow just wow.

I mean i always kinda liked ghoul, thought he was a little hard to listen to, but once he showed his handsome face i liked him 148800000000 times more. spent 25 bucks to buy his tshirt. he is a good goi, dindu nuffin.

1.4 mile powerwalk in snow. 20 degrees. not bad. i will go outside when its 20. not so much when it is 10. and it has been closer to 10 for a while.

took a benedryl at about 1:30pm to force myself to go to bed early tonight, get up.

emily youcis was a real degenerate, smokin MJ on camera, wearing incredibly skanky clothes on camera with her tits and ass hanging out, being a singer in a punk band. you KNOW she has done some degen shit during that time. drinkin, smokin, fookin the dirtiest randoms raw dog, taking it up the ass by guys she just met.

but i still accept her because when you come out as pro-white, using your real name, you are pretty much recanting your degen past, because everyone will turn against you. you will lose friends and fans. you will find out who your real friends and fans are.

i guess a similar thing could be said for evalion….but she didnt use her real name. well, her real FIRST name she did use. and then within 6 months her real last name was out there. but not sure what she is doing.

i would give evalion 1 dollar a month if she wasnt buddy buddy with sinead and they didnt call mill woes a degen phaggot. god damn. MILO is a degen phaggot. or prob jack donovan. but mill woes has repented for his gay past! and I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume this gay past is very very minimal. like evalion or sinead never did degenerate shit. they did more degen shit than MW. pot and the fookin kettle here. i am willing to forgive both women, but they make that hard to do when they attack one of my favorite guys. these people usu are the same who hate andrew anglin and TRS and spencer too. its so stupid. they were the ones who started this stupid infighting. and they are usually k1ke on a stick christian haters too. hmmmmm. also are purity spiral as fook. i dont like that varg seems to be closer to these guys. but we are a bunch of degen, k1ke enablers, phag enablers, degen, milo luvers.

heh. i wonder which side emily will gravitate towards. the dramatic women side, or the less dramatic phag joo shill side hahaha.

i dunno. i just think that a guy who had one gay experience, says ok, got it out of my system, i dont like that, is less degen than a woman who has 6 gorillion casual straight experiences!

like casual degen gay sex just seems more honest and transparent about its degeneracy, ie, there’s absolutely no other reason to have this except for degen gay hedonistic pleasure. there is no way this could ever create new life. it was never even on the table. you don’t have to take steps to prevent it. it just cant happen.

so yeah its inherently perverted….but i think equally perverted is using Birth Control so much and having So Much Recreational Sex, that you FORGET that this is the process that creates life!

dec 19

heh. spent hours at home doing a job related project because i was slightly ashamed about not finishing it by the time i left. dont want to disappoint the team. so i finished it at home. i dont want to do this every single day but i did really want to finish this before tomorrow morning. and i did. i mean i had to Streamline My Process because I had never done any of this before so it was slow going. at least now i could do it faster if needed. and i made some super in depth documentation. they might not appreciate all the details. too much they’ll say! well ok i’ll scale it back in the future. had a very relaxed stress free day today, including a 2 hour meeting that was more like a training class. didnt need to impress anyone or explain shit or sell shit. but i got more actual work done at home than i did while i was there.

office holiday lunch tomorrow, i was going to use today to prepare my witty banter, and failed to do that!

was so cold today could not do more than a 15 minute powerwalk.

still kind of sound like an autistic, spaghetti pockets moron when i talk to people, even just small talk! so frustrating.

I mean I try to be nice, I think they can see that i am trying to be nice and friendly and open and polite, but i am just a little socially awkward hehehe. i mean come on there are a few slightly awkward introverts in the office in addition to me!

dec 20

holiday lunch today. spent all yesterday finishing this “project” draft rather than preparing witty, charismatic banter to impress all 15 people in the department. ran a little late from office to restaurant. apologized profusely. only spot was sitting right next to My Direct Manager. he is a really good guy and I am grateful I can say that and it’s the truth. the majority of people don’t have a manager like that. I could TOTALLY get a Good Recommendation from this guy IF I do a good job AND I Just Darn Talk To Him!!!!! He is always in a good mood and laughing at his own jokes. I kind of like this. not in an arrogant way but more like he is genuinely a Jolly Man. He has more than a Semi Charmed Life and he KNOWS it and he is thankful for it. he has a great Career, he’s highly educated and working in a field he enjoys, working on a PhD in his field, from a good school, has a not-ugly wife and more than 2 young children. and good people skills, gets along with everybody, makes everybody feel comfortable. also he is tall and fairly handsome. but pretty down to earth and not arrogant. but not underconfident either.

yes i stalked his wife on linkedin and google. yes uncle bernard, i have NO BOUNDARIES hahahaha. (uncle bern is appalled that All Women have No Boundaries and are always GOOGLING people, he finds that crazy and rude. I see where he’s coming from….but dont you want to know about the people you work with? of course bern, or any normie would say……….JUST TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

I mean yeah I DO, I just use the online stuff to supplement and jog memory. To add to my notes. I can’t remember were so and so went to college, did they go to x y or z, i forgot what he said his wife does, how old his kids are, etc.

i felt a little bad because i was nervous and not contributing to the conversation like a normie. not very charismatic, not very witty. this is the downside from having a Rough Three Years. you don’t have anything interesting or positive to say.

or, in general, stories about yourself and your life. you dont have anything you can talk about but all your years of failure and rejection and giving up hahahaha. and you know you shouldnt talk about that! so what DO you talk about? your interests in Huhwhyte Nationalism, Alt Right, black metal? these are professionals with masters degrees making over 50k a year who go to ANTI-TRUMP protests and pro-hillary protests! and they’re gonna listen to the new, underachieving new guy on how their whole Weltanschauung is wrong? sheeeit. im the one making 13k a year, with no wife or kids, they’re making 50k a year and have a house, wife/husbando, and kids who are going to college and will prob be successful too, unless they fook up in college like I did!

so thoughts like this make it difficult to make small talk in big groups at lunch hahahaha.

i mean no ones asked me why i didnt get a masters degree, and if they do, i’ll once bitten twice shy, i wanted to get more working experience first, so i could determine what is the best masters degree to get. i just want to become competitive and work really any of a range of possible jobs. i like counseling but i honestly dont think it would be useful for me to get a masters degree in counseling. because i want to help white neet men and white marriages. not be a social worker to black thugs. i can’t TELL people that though!

i mean its similar to how people who want to become teachers have to start out their first few years in shitty black schools. people who want to become cops have to start out first few years in shitty black cities. its called PAYING YOUR DUES, its NORMAL.

so why aren’t more normies red-pilled on race then?

because they’re DOUBLING DOWN.

the teachers much moreso than the cops, hahahahaha.

every day children are taught to hate? klan families with kids wearing trump shirts. come on. there are about ten people tops in the klan in the US, and they don’t really HATE negros. They just want an end to forced diversity and forced anti-whitism. they want to be around other whites and have their children mate with other whites and not to live in dangerous nonwhite shitholes. they want a strong, safe community. they dont HATE anybody. they just dont want their white daughters having brown babies. stupid a&e commerican for “generation kkk.” really trying to hit people in the feels.

there’s like 5 people in the KKK in 2017 hahahahaha. COME ON.

do a show about the alt right. well, then they would spin it the same way their spinning spencer. a big part of the alt right hehehehe. but like in the atlantic piece, spencer looked pretty GOOD. I could see that actually REACHING one undecided person.

tok benedryl today at around 2:30 pm. got a sleeping mask as well. try that out. also got a tape measure for body to get exact measurements. waist: about 34 inches. chest: about 39. leg: ideally, 27 or 28. total manlet hahaha.

got any 33 27 pants hahahaha

but yeah i like having this. just so i know what muh actual body actually IS. of COURSE clothes makers are WILDLY inconsistent with their measurements. i need to know where to START though. 32? 33? 34?

dec 21

http://www.theblaze.com/news/2016/12/20/white-guys-offered-new-years-resolutions-from-ultra-liberal-mtv-news/

mtv new years resolutions for white guys, getting some coverage right nao

http://dailycaller.com/2016/12/19/mtv-offers-up-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-video/

http://www.vdare.com/posts/mtvs-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-a-response

white racist site vdare actually high in the news results hahahaha

http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2016/12/19/mtvs-new-years-resolutions-for-white-guys-stop-mansplaining-stop-saying-woke-blue-lives-matter-isnt-a-thing/

wow, would ya get a load of the khazar milkers on that

dec 21

went to lunch with old colleague i had not seen in a long time. the person who is very nice and kind to me. acts as a reference for me. mutually knows both me and…….That Woman. we actually had a very good and animated talk, no autistic silent moments, like no time had passed, and, i was kinda pleasantly surprised, we did not talk about That Woman at all. our colleague somewhat likes the gossip. i kinda expected them to say SO……whatever happened between you and that woman? and i was fully prepared to take the high road, but still be honest, and say yeah that really really sucked for me, i was really upset for a long time, it’s still sad, it’s just SAD, i was stupid but she was stupid too, i was so disappointed, i wish she tried a little harder to Euthanize Our Rel With Dignity, but oh well, life goes on, i understand why she did what she did, she’s still a good person, I wish her well, I forgive her, I’m not mad at her, I’m getting over it.

but didnt even have to say any of that.

of course at the same time i secretly hope the mutual friend will contact That Woman and say guess who I saw, he’s doing well, he got a new job, come on you should have been a little nicer to him. heh. and then i would totally Accept her. even though she’s older, probably fooked 20 badbois in the past 1.5 years, maybe had a baby, maybe had some abortions, maybe got more experience in being a horrible person and casual secs and throwing people away and acting like a baby. AND being more successful at me in job. being TOUGH. saying fook you we cant help you, i am the manager and i’m saying GOODBYE, we dont have the TIME to fix your unreasonable demands, it’s not WORTH IT to us.

that she was able to TOUGH IT OUT through tough personal times, and tough job times, and just ignore me like I was nothing, and tough it out on a job I was struggling so much with, and tough it out for SO much longer, AND bounce back from a layoff super quickly, into another high stress job where you have to be tough, but you probably get paid a slightly above average (avg being 27k a year) wage as compensation. and i cant tough it out well enough as an average normie, to make an average wage.

totally SMITING me AND then going on to do WAY better at life. insult to injury hehehehe. and its not intentional. and intent does absolutely matter. it was just extremely painful………………………..for me. hehehehehe.

i just hate doing the wrong thing. i hate thinking i might do the same wrong thing in the future. make the same mistake again because i will be a COWARD again. its not that i didnt know what I should do, what I should have done was obvious even at that time! I just didnt have the courage to say it. so my mistake was not having enough courage. not acting with courage in a timely manner.

is that really such a god damn CRIME? i think other people would have been more forgiving of that. it was just a fookin PERFECT STORM, a perfect shitstorm. worst possible thing at the worst possible time.

fooking peloton commerical. i want to bang the rich skinny mom. i want to bang the tuff gurl robin the peloton instructor. i am not going to go easy on HER hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  but my main concern is, what is this womans CAREER to be living in that HOUSE??????? clearly ivy league graduate degree, near-c-level management in a fortune 10 company hehehehe. all those women like to work 100 hours a week then exercise 50 hours a week because they know they still need to have a perfect body hahahaha. then they neglect their family and their kids grow up to be school shooter neet virgin druggie burnouts hahahahahahaha. at least they can afford their drugs with their mommys money. careerbux hahahaha. fooking peloton. fook peloton. stupid word. stupid shitbike. fook it.

hehehe the colleague gave me a nice pastry/cake/sweets and i ate a chunk of it and it turned out to have like 450 calories in it hehehehehe. oyyyyyy veyyyyyyyy. they are the kind of nice person who always brings in treats and snacks and donuts and sweets and buys people lunch. my god. that is how i became acquainted with her, because she was always NICE to me, and I really do appreciate that kind of stuff.

heh. that was how i became friends with That Woman too, who was nice in a similar way. damn i miss that. yeah its NO SURPRISE at all that i got feelings for her. a pretty young gurl being VERY NICE TO YOU. the only thing that’s SURPRISING was that I didnt fall in luv with her SOONER! but that was HOW MUCH I respected peoples relationships, that i had NO desire to interfere or fook up her relship, that I didn’t let myself get feelings for a Taken Woman. but once she was not taken, and i let myself get the feels, the HORSE WAS OUT OF THE BARN and it wasnt ever gonna go back in. HOW IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? it isn’t. i dont think any reasonable adult would find that hard to understand. sheeeeit, even SHE probably UNDERSTOOD it. she just didnt want to face a tuff situation in order to do me one last favor. just back out and do the irish goodbye hahahahaha.

whats funny is that i have done the irish goodbye many a time when I was a drinker. but that was different. I was just leaving social events quietly, not Terminating entire relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i just like the term irish goodbye hahahaha.

also you just CANT pull an irish goodbye on a real relship of 2.7 years. thats not what it is, thats not how it works. it’s just sneaking out of a large-ish PARTY when you are too drunk, tired, or awkward to say goodbye in a POLITE manner like a NORMIE. its super MINOR. Abandoning a relship needs a different term altogether. How about “abandonment” or “abandoning a relship.”

which is what i thought “ghosting” was. but thats a stupid word too and i think it works better with the minor semi faux pas of an irish goodbye!

so yeah. 90% of the time i did it, i was falling down drunk, shouldnt have been even LOOKING at a car, and probably didnt want anyone to try to stop me from driving. YIKES. glad those days are GONE. at least i became a better person than THAT.

maybe i was blazed af on MJ? thats a little better.

was listening to this middle class man tell his story, i guess he would be one of our “customers” or “clients” so I tried to help him for 2 minutes and practice my bullshitting on a system i knew even less than he did, and he was so gracious and nice, and was like you guys have such patience to work with people like me, and i was like hey just doin our job, thats what were here for, glad to do it, i’m just glad you dont have an emergency right now and youre screaming at me to fix it, and I don’t have a goddamn EXPERT in the next room who is basically twiddling his thumbs waiting for something to do! and then I grab him he helps you and I watch and learn along with you.

the “client”/internal customer might be one of the 15% who dont have a masters degree, but he has plenty of Industry Experience in a Bigass Fortune 10 company. kinda autistic but just really really nice. I appreciate that.

he talked about his son and daughter. he convinced his son not to go away to college. he sat him down and showed him spreadsheets and convincing calculations that the son could save at LEAST 50 grand by living at home and going to the cheapo college. that the College Experience wasnt WORTH 50 grand that you would struggle to pay back.

the kid listened. he lived at home, worked 60 hours a week in a Machine Shop, did associates at cheap college, then finished Engin Degree at local univ, all while living at home, working full time, doing many many classes online. now he is an engineer making damn good money with a wife and kid and dogs. about 148800000000000 times better than me.

like i bet he made more money at the machine shop than i am right now. and 60 hours a week. AND doing engin classes. the father said i would go by his room at 4 in the morning and be like WHACHA DOIN SON and the son was like i got an assignment due at 6 AM!

point is, kid had a great work ethic!

another guy tried to convince HIS son of the same thing, showed him the numbers, said here’s what you’ll have to pay back, taking a real unflinching longterm look at finances in other words, you can save a LOTTTTTT of money by going to cheap local college for 2 years, THEN you can transfer to finish your degree at State Univ. it doesnt say podunk redneck college on your diploma! and the kid fought him and say no i want to go to state univ right out of high school. well, at least this kid is going an engin major!

well at least he is probably getting some prime college poosay!!!!! 18 year old QTs! this is a party skool after all. All my life i will regret not being able to bang 18 year old 9/10’s like he is doing no. sheeeeeeeeeeeit thats WORTH 100 grand, isn’t it?

probably, because that instills you with confidence that will last you a LIFETIME, and then you will prob be successful in life, and MAKE 100 grand to pay those loans back, be a winner chad normie, have GFs and a wife and eventually children. because you banged some 18 yo QT’s while in college which gave you MASSIVE CONFIDENCE. BABOON BRAINFRAME.

OR, you could just get rejected, or just not even really try, and get super frustrated because you see 14880000000000000000000 perfect qt’s a day and you have never been with one. or if you have it was just for 2 days then the door was shut hehehehehe. and still pay the 100 grand and come out with no confidence, no skills, no charisma, no value add, no women, no charm, no grace, no game.

im glad im not in a univ town where i would see 60000000000000000000 18-25 yo qt’s all day erry day. i used to be. it was RIDICULOUS. it’s bad enough if i see a handful of Young Sluts when I go to the MALL twice a year. no thank you. TRIGGERED.

i know of a local skool where there are a good number of young qt’s. right out of high school. 18-20 years old. but half of em arent huhwhyte. this is triggering in a different way. but actually less painful I think! than seeing tons of young white women. that hits even harder on the lizard brain. but yeah race matters too. but i have some power in that. i feel empowered by contributing 10 dollars a month to pro-white people hehehehehe, empowered in a way i dont feel when dealing with young qt white wimmin. maybe if i gave THEM 10 dollars a month they would stroke muh ego. hang out with me and be nice to me and interested in me hahahahaha.

i might not be able to have white children of my own, and i see me donating money to Alt Right and Pro White as doing whatever I CAN do to help The Cause, The Movement, My People, My Race, the future of my people and our children, even if they are not MY children directly.

to be fair i am dnating 2 dollars to people that are NOT explicitly pro-white. they haven’t crossed the rubicon yet. but they are white conservatives hehehehehe. who are not anti white even implicitly. i would prefer that they be explicitly pro white. would get me to up muh donation hehehehe.

white conservatives get 12 dollars a year, pro white white conservatives get 20 dollars a year hehehehehe. upmost tier gets 25 a year. weev, andrew anglin, TRS, mill woes, fatherland.

well COULDNT i do MORE good by just donating MORE money to ONE source? save all muh donations for TRS? maybe that will push them over the edge into……what exactly. they are already on a good path.

i am even gonna give 5 dollars to foreveralone george feels.

lena dunham goes into the oven hahahahaha. you wish you had abortion. you WOULD. i’m more surprised by the fact that shes never HAD an abortion. i bet the lying jooish bitch is LYING. i bet she DID have abortions and is trying to portray herself as some innocent “normal” woman. close your legs you damn evil satanic wh0re. we dont need any more of your kind in this world. actually she prob SHOULD abort her evil SATAN SPAWN. but not even fox joos will tell you that shes jooish. NORMIES think shes WHITE. they think that fat pig amy schumer is white. this is how blue pilled normies are on the JQ. and why the JQ is such a bigass mindblowing game changing thing. it changes you hahahahaha.

and i am HAPPY that so many YOUNG people are hip to the JQ, even if semi-jokingly. hell yes you can have fun and make jokes with it. but i think they honestly GET IT too. its IMMENSELY powerful to have YOUNG people understand the JQ. I didnt get it until I was……i dunno at least 28 years old. I mean I was aware of joos and calling people k1k3s when i was 22, and knew j00s were scheming and greedy and evil back then……..but I didnt REALLY understand it. i wasnt even reading stormfront or vnn, and there wasnt any alt right or /pol for me to read. no pepes, no memes. no trs, no weev, no daily stormer, no /pol, no greg johnson, no richard spencer. what a sad world hahahaha.  im not even sure if there was reddit. the best thing we had was heartiste. who is honestly pretty GOOD. he is pretty good on the JQ. but was he back THEN? prob not as much.

i did get into greg johnson around 2012 though hahahaha. didnt i do my amazon timeline recently???!??!?!?? well i was reading and listening to greg and counter currents WELL before I bought his book.

2012: mindweapons, counter currents, and eradica did it for me. they converted me hahahaha. and david duke. THANK YOU hahaha. oh yeah i should donate to counter currents prob eh.

i dont expect ANY woman to understand this. I just want a woman who is instinctively REPULSED by being with any race other than a white man. I want a woman who has never BEEN with a nonwhite man, WOULD NEVER EVEN THINK OF IT without disgust. And I honestly think there are a goodly number of these women out there, they just wont tell it on the mountain in front of their friends for fear of being called you-know-what.

 

ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO RESPECT SOMEBODYS DECISION TO TREAT YOU WITH DISRESPECT

 

oct 13

apparently got up way too early today for 9am test. strangely not pooping even though drinking coffee and have some food that should be ready to go hmmm.

i just hate angry customers demanding explanations that i dont have, demanding to speak to somebody else when i cant transfer them, and i dont have time to Figure Out their problem, and just have to tell them It Is What It Is, Live With It. There’s no tactful way to say this problem isnt serious enough to our company to waste time figuring it out.

when you are sitting there in the trenches desperately trying to bullshit people and survive to the end of another day in hell, the one thing that gives you hope and solace is the idea that the first thing you do when you get home is youre gonna prepare a yuuuuuuuuge spliff and smoke it and get hella blazed. that is your one saving grace. it really does help. without that, things really start to look hopeless.

did not get a ton of sleep last night hehehe .

aha well feel the BM coming now finally hahahaha. usually i dont have to wait!!!!

then i get mad at other people, like HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THIS? and they get mad at me cuz i am mad at them cuz they can so easily tell customers “i dunno, not my problem, deal with it, live with it, cant help you, it is what it is, goodbye.”

well, it is true that what i saw what PERHAPS the evidence of a company on the downfall. well, the company was having a Bad Year, Big Losses, and laid a ton of people off, including in our department. but was the shitty service we gave indicative of that, or was it always like that, even when times were Good and Growing? i mean you always want to save money and do more with less, and that means sweeping Small Problems under the rug.

its just hard being the person who has to tell the person youre sweeping THEIR problem under the rug.

very hard. what do you say?

idk just go with the flow lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yeah well YOU stop listening to your degen music and TELL this person that. give them a damn good EXPLANATION WHY you are sweeping their problem under the rug.

and go suck negro dick some more. spread your legs for negros and make fookin shitsprogs with them.

i might not be in luv with negros, but i can at least admit they are humans hahahaha. they are living human beings and their innocent babies lives have some innate value and shouldnt be created WILLY NILLY. same with any nonwhite babies. I am a sucker for babies. all races babies are INNOCENT HUMAN LIVES that should not be treated like GARBAGE.

im not an idiot i SWEAR. Here, call my high school teacher from 20 years ago when I was a top 5% student and got all A’s.

ok took the test, it was EASY AS SHIT. basically copy an extremely simple table from this paper into excel, using sum formulas and multiplication formulas hahahaha. no index match or offsets or vlookups hehehehe.

and then use an adding machine with paper tape roll to add up a list of 20 numbers. i did not even understand. who uses adding machines.

i was nice to the lady and she was nice to me and i also saw a printout of the 30 people who took the written test a few weeks ago where i did horribly on the accounting questions, i told the lady yeah i didnt do so well on the accounting part, but i took accounting courses in College and got A’s I SWEAR, I could TOTALLY do that stuff again with the debits and credits and journal entries if I just did a little refresher, its not rocket science, its just you get rusty if you havent used it in a few years!!!!!! and she seemed understanding.

jeez. just when i thought trump was past this grab em by the pvssy shit, some more bad shit happens, namely, some b’s coming out saying he groped them. i guess i sort of thought this might happen, and now it is. i like how he is condemning the lugenpresse, because he knows this cant be proven, although youre a woman hater if you think a Victim Might Be Lying, especially if they put their name and face on video and say I, Ms Lyin Slutberg, say that trumps hands were like an octopus on me in 1980, and women dont make this shit up for political reasons hahahaha.

but yeah that is the prevailing idea, that women never lie. and trumps got to get women to believe women do lie, in order to get womens vote. of course women know women lie, but they will deny it to the point of voting against that bad bad man.

but yeah it is def hurting his poll numbers signif. i mean it does not look good folks.

but if he can handle this as well as he handled the pvssy tape, he has a chance.

heh i almost had a heart attack seeing this one cuz i actually thought it was That Woman doing an actual reddit post about ME hahahahahahaha. but its not. i am older than 29 anyway hahahahaha. also it sounds like she rejected him a little nicer because they were still talking afterwards. well…..not really. well, it sounds like she actually told him “im not interested,” and THEN he started asking Creepy Details about her Secs Life. well at least i did not do that! so i am less of a creep and better at respecting boundaries than this guy!

i mean i am fine being a woman hater but i DONT want to be a creep, i DO want to respect boundaries.

I was VERY, VERY, VERY distraught and upset, like this guy, but I think I did an OK job of respecting boundaries…..well just the idea of me getting feelings for her and asking her to hang out regularly was Trampling Her Boundaries!

yeah well she could have stopped saying YES WE WILL HANG OUT!!!!!!!!!! that KINDA got my hopes up!

but yeah i admit i was weak and cowardly and should have blurted everything out in november 2014. that is the lesson i learned, and if i ever get into this situation again, that is what i will do.

i didnt really manipulate our mutual friend to talk to her, but yeah maybe i did secretly hope that mutual friend would talk to that woman and be like hes really upset and you were kinda shitty to him hehehehehehehehe.

but yeah it gets to a point where you really dont have anything to TALK about. i learned pretty quickly that i didnt want to just TALK to her, i wanted a CHANCE with her. the time for TALKING was earlier. like yeah i wish you had dumped me with talking but if you come talk to me now, uhh yeah im still in luv with you, ill still be in luv with you 15 months later. i can accept you not wanting the rel, just tell me no. tell me no and tell me im not a piece of garbage hahahaha. just say aw im sorry youre a real sweet guy like all the other women who “FRIENDZONE” their male friends hahahahahaha and then lets take a little break because you cant be friends when theres one sided feelings, didnt you learn than by age 25 hahahaha.

i will pay for a dumping expert for you to dump me.

or have your mom dump me for you.

but yeah at the end of the day she was a nice person, a beautiful person, and i will never get over her or stop being in luv with her or find a better woman ahahahahahahaha.

this feels as bad as muh First Heartbreak! they say the first is by far the worst, but this one is by far the worst! the 5th or 6th heartbreak hehehehe. well because it was the most significant actual relship.

anyway yeah i guess i understand, if i were in her position i wold have a hard time dealing with me too.

i mean you really do need a professional for these types of things. well ok. i would have her go to my shrink, talk to my shrink for 30 minutes, then i would talk to the shrink for 30 minutes. do a couple of those sessions. and the shrink could relay everything in a mature manner. thats their JOB hahahaha.

yeah well many people are just horrible at their jobs and have no idea what they are doing hehehe.

i mean isnt this what QUALITY ASSURANCE does? makes sure stuff is objectively correct?

i mean i never experienced this before. i pretty much accepted the ITS OVER talk. well, i would try to win them back. didnt work. they would make out with you (and im sure str8 up Pity Fook you, because its just secs). but i was too pathetic to even PUSH for secs because im nervous about secs and am perfectly happy with making out.

anyway winning them back didnt work and i shouldnt have tried it.

well these were crazy middle class jooish college gurls! and That Woman was a nice white down to earth normal woman who was not a Huge Career Woman.

i was a little creepy, but was I SO creepy that I should be totally ashamed of myself? sometimes i am, sometimes im not, and im still not sure how ashamed i SHOULD be, in other words, not sure exactly How Creepy I was.

i mean i dont WANT to be creepy. because “creepers” dont get women ever. its synonymous with undesirable. i dont want to be undesirable. have such deep issues i could never be with a wimmin. i mean they have deep issues too, but it doesnt matter bc women are the supply, therefore i HAVE to not be creepy. it is my responsibility. my mission. i dont want to fail my mission.

heheh got up at 6 am, not a lot of sleep, in mood for nap now at 12 pm hahahaha.

anyway. muh life is in ruins and all i can think about is WOMEN. and this is not a new thing. i always cared more about women and the related drama, than making something of myself. this is one of muh hugest flaws.

cuz i was always way more interested in women than i was in Employment, Education, or Training hahahahahaha. all that stuff was boring at best and excruciating at worst.

yeah i shoud not be writing here, very tired hahahaha. i mean i SHOULD be furiously jobsearching but i dont do that so furiously. hey i did something job related today! and i am on the baby steps plan hahaha.

but i have been on the baby steps plan for YEARS. i need to start doing MORE than baby steps, a LOT more.

GROWN ASS MEN DONT GET ANYWHERE WITH BABY STEPS.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

teen doesnt want to go to college, caretaker says she needs college beause shes not the type to do well without college.

such an easy answer. let the damn kid take a damn gap year, maybe two. also its easy to get a job when you are a 18 year old gurl hahahahaha. take some business classes at the CC because the kid is vaguely interested in “Starting a business” with no plan. so take accounting classes at least, maybe econ, i dunno. def accounting cuz its an actual skill you can get paid for. i mean it hasnt really helped my career hahahaha.

everyones like o just have her get a FT job and pay you rent, which in theory is a great idea…..but what if she cant get an FT job? spends the entire gap year just applying to jobs, going to interviews, and not getting jobs? hehehehe.

which i highly doubt tho, cuz as an 18 year old gurl she could prob get hired at a 12 dollar an hour county job like i just got two rejections today for two such jobs! they either dont like muh gap andor they think i am overqualified andor they dont want to hire white males. they hire a lot of white females though hahahahaha.

anyway if the kid is not DRIVEN in real life, they wont be DRIVEN in college, and being a lazy slob in college is not gonna help them. then you become a huge failure like me hahahaha.

anyway i always knew i was too fooked up to have a rel with a woman, so i wasnt actively looking for one. i knew i had to fix myself first, and that would take YEARSSSSSSSSSSSS until i am 40 or so.

point is, i didnt go LOOKING for a woman when i “found” That Woman. Us becoming friends was the easiest, most natural, most spontaneous thing i had felt in a very long time. we just got along instantly. it just happened naturally af. i didnt LUV her at first. after 2 years of being solid friends, i fell in luv with her. and yet i still was too broken and damaged to be in a rel.

point is, i wasnt putting myself out there, i wasnt trying to FIND a GF in other words. she literally fell into muh life and we got along rather MIRACULOUSLY.

like i think about going on okcupid or something and practicing banging sluts, but i know im not even ready for that cuz muh life is a mess, cant take care of myself, cant be a adult, i gotta get that stuff fixed before i even THINK about women.

hehehehe. yep. get me to stop thinking about women hehehehe.

well thats a lot easier when you are working FT at a terrible job. THEN you just think about surviving one day at a time. you have no Libido, you cant even jerk off UNLESS You look at porno. and it becomes a joyless experience solely to attempt to relieve stress. destress. and it doesnt work nearly as well as smokin MJ.

or quickly crank one out thinking of the Office Young Slut that all the other lonely old guys want to bang too.

if you are lucky enough to GET a job. AND work with even ONE attractive young woman.

but attractive young women can be INCREDIBLY distracting.

well, you will probably be thinking of them ANYWAY even if you dont know or see any. kinda in that position right now. im always thinking of women, but i really dont interact that much with women, and my point is, i dont know ANY attractive young women! but i still think about the idea of them! all the time!

shit maybe send that 17 year old kid to a shrink (i am thinking of them more as a boy than a girl, because gurls shouldnt Go Away To College period.) just to get a damn “tune up” and make sure they dont have Depression or Anxiety or Bipolar. just get a check up, and if they have anything, they can start treating it when theyre young and before they get their whole life off track. maybe the kid is Depressed because they dont seem to have any drive or motivation hehehehe. also make sure they are NOT doing drugs or alcohol regularly. find a male mentor who is 5 years older. 9 at the very most.

if the mentors are too old, they wont know how the world works and their advice wont apply hahahahaha. theyll say go to college, thats your sure ticket to the middle class, hahahaha.

dont get a female mentor.

FEMALES CANT MENTOR.

well, maybe they can mentor children and women, IF they have children of their own.

well what about this guys wife who is a successful business owner.

ok fine, if they own a successful business, ill give them a pass.

and actual entrepreneurs WOULD be GREAT mentors for Teens. but good luck getting access to these privileged, valuable, expensive, very important people. their time is worth 100 bucks an hour just to talk to them on the phone. just go shadow a doctor or something. go shadow bill gates hahahaha.

but yeah going to college right after high school was a HORRIBLE idea for me, so yeah i was VERY interested in that topic.

wewlad finally gonna come in under muh daily calorie goal of 1200, instead of way way over.

ITS SO HARD TO DO EVEN 1 BABY STEP hahahahaha.

but yeah i get SO nervous at the idea of Facing Customers. it is TERRIFYING. like the kids at mcdonalds making 9 dollars an hour. i couldnt do what they do!

but the FACT is, at ONE time, i USED to do pretty high level, in depth, srs business customer service. having deep intense serious conversations.

so yeah i just want to answer all my haters who say i got involved with a woman before i was READY.  it just HAPPENED ok. i wasnt LOOKING for anything. you cant CHOOSE who you LUV.

on reddit some college educated career woman was doing a /sarcasm about sex being “the holy process by which babies are made” /s . i wanted to reach through the screen and punch her in the face for being such a fooking godless disgusting degenerate. THAT SHOULDNT BE SARCASM! THATS EXACTLY WHAT SECS IS!!!!!!!!!!

and i am honestly disappointed that ONLY religious people share my beliefs. I argue endlessly you dont HAVE to be religious, christian, etc to have my beliefs on Sexual Morality, that sex is a darn near holy, sacred, sublime process by which Human Life is created, so have some damn REVERENCE for it.

apparently only religious nuts think this, and everybody else doesn’t.

i am SORTA religious but I stubbornly insist you dont NEED to be to feel this way about secs. even a damn tree worshiping pagan would agree with me!

i was pleasantly surprised to see that there were soem gun owners on reddit. one rel question involved guns and plenty of gun owners responded. i expected everyone on reddit to be violently antigun, anyone who doesnt express only negative opinions about guns is an evil white cis racist hateful nazi kkk trump raeper. so i was glad to be proven wrong there.

everything is NOT OKAY with these women. 25 year old women making 50 grand a year write work emails about things being NOT OK. good god.  and we all have to bow down to the women and fix shit when they think something is NOT OK. no man would EVER use those words to describe anything, unless he is a total cuckold phaggot.

women are very conformist in the way they talk so colloquial idioms like “not ok” and “its a thing” and “its been a minute” and “creeper” and “netflix and chill” and LITERALLY and  just the littlest ways of speaking, the words, the stupid slang, they get really into that and it changes the way they TALK. and men just dont TALK like that, not nearly as much.

 

heh the anxiety reddit is sometimes pretty good, though not nearly as much comments as relshits.

 

yep

 

in this WOMANS defense, I would get anxious about 12-15 hour shifts too!

 

there is a despair reddit too but damn these people are pathetic. but there are some good questions like the above. not alot of answers though.

anyway i think my despair comes FROM muh anxiety which holds me back from taking risks and doing things and accomplishing Life Goals like getting a real job, maintaining the job, getting a rel, maintaining the rel, being an adult, etc.

also anxiety prevents a LOT of people from working. they have panic attacks and crying every day about their job. panicking every morning. panicking at lunch. being exhausted and destroyed at the end of every day.

some suggested that high CBD cannabis can help with anxiety but high THC can Aggravate anxiety? i dont doubt that. but I always think of it in terms of indica vs sativa, and this is NOT the same thing.

well then give me a high CBD indica hahahaha.

 

1 comment basically saying i dunno, nothing helps, try meds and maybe it will help you seem like a normie.

hehehehe. i know that feel.

but yeah. valid, good questions, with barely any responses. bretty disappointing reddit.

well i can at least be gratefu that muh anxiety and despair arent as bad as some of these people. like i can actually go on interviews, 23 of them hahahahaha. (but VERY doubtful about actually doing a job and surviving at it!!!!!!). also i dont get holy shit i must K myself sort of thoughts. more like wow i am a huge failure who has wasted my life and i will never be able to turn it around, but i dont really want to K myself! but i just feel hopeless about being able to become a real adult with an average job, and to get a halfway decent gf, ideally wife. ok FINE i will accept not having children. but i wont accept getting into a rel with a shitty woman out of pure desperation and loneliness. i would rather continue being alone. and just smoke MJ and maybe bang sluts like a degen. its not ideal but i wonder if some secs would make a man more confident which he can then use to do actually good, nondegen things. the ends jsutify the means. by any means necessary.

oct 14

https://www.eremedia.com/ere/why-you-cant-get-a-job-recruiting-explained-by-the-numbers/

yeah the page does exist, ive got it open right now. very discouraging article  written by evil hr person hahaha.

http://insights.dice.com/2014/09/16/recruitings-dirty-little-secrets/

ok ive had enough hahaha

basically i was looking for an Experts Opinion on low-level (data entry, general clerk, entry level admin asst, clerical asst, office clerk) get posted AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN and over and over and over every 3 or 4 weeks, basically the same position in the same location, and you apply 3 or 4 or 5 times until youre ike WTF is going on here, ive applied to this same job 4 times and still havent gotten called for a First Interview or even a Phone Screening, WTF is going on here. has their HR department blackballed me, or is this just not a real job? are they building a pool? there must be 10000 people in the pool by now!! are they trying to build a BETTER pool? its a 12 dollar an hour job! youre not gonna GET mark zuckerberg!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON here? looking for an article that explains this phenomenon, but cannot find.

i mean yeah im sure i could get flagged as “DESPERATE, WILL TAKE ANYTHING” in the ATS, which is only half true. I will only take anything that is less than 50% phones hahahahaha, i will take anything that wouldnt obviously drive me completely insane and do a panicquit hahahahaha.

im sure ive got that flag at the hospital where ive applied to 50 jobs. but i’m not applying to shit all over the hospital! i am applying to stuff in my ballpark of qualification!!!!!!!!!!

if there are men looking for the “GF experience”, are there women looking for the BF experience?

well, and im not SURE about this, but my THEORY is that women who get LONELY like this will just end up trying to convert their BFE (probably a Fook buddy or FWB) into an actual BF.

just basically slapping your fantasy image of the perfect GF/BF onto whatever attractive person lets you fook them. then you fook them and cuddle with them and be nice to them and start to want them as your GF even though you have no idea who they REALLY are. pretty much what happened with the first gurl i fooked.

its safe to say if you want the GFE, you want a GF, period.

(yeah this is kind of a NO SHIT SHERLOCK thing when you think about it for 1 second.) so you are at risk. you bang some slut and try to make it a GFE, and then probably end up getting stupid feelings too fast because what you REALLY want is a GF.

i mean its not really STUPID, its completely understandable.

when you search what appears to be specific requisition numbers on a big companys job site and you cant find the job. because i got an email alert saying apply for this job, but no LINK in the email, so i search the req number given in the email to make sure i find the exact job, and nothing. total incompetence by the HR of a YUGE successful company. shit why even post jobs, they can get top talent from top skools, why even open this shit to slobs like me.

less than 1 month to go and the pres campagins are now all about Secs Scandals. this is honestly kinda disappointing. not that secs scandals do not matter cuz they ARE an indicator of Morality, which is more important than anything hehehehe.

well i mean i will accept a president who has groped a few women, but is sincere about making america great again hahahahaha. i will not accept a pres who has groped and raeped a LOT of women and who wants to genocide my race hahahahahahaha.

so what if trump doesnt respect women? I dont respect women! well, the MAJORITY of women hahahahaha. SOME women are respectable. but not a lot.

although on a person to person level, social interactions, i treat everybody respectfully, even if the person may not really be respectable. i mean im not gonna FIX them by being an asshole to them. i dont like being an asshole to people anyway. its too much WORK, its too much STRESS, too much anxiety.

i wish there was a lot more discussion on the anxiety reddit. there is 10% of the talk as there is on the relships. but anxiety CAUSES SO much trouble with relships, with life in general. well, for men at least. women can still have anxiety and get Rels and Jobs because they are the supply. they are very much in demand. men will bend over backwards to Help Women. thats just the way it is. accept it. dont get MAD about it and complain that its UNFAIR. its really NOT, because women get pregnant. now it might be unfair that women arent AWARE of this, and its definitely infuriating. and it IS fair for you to get angry about that, hahahahahahahaha.

WE HAVE NO RECORD OF THAT.

another great it is what it is, not our problem, oh well, youre screwed, deal with it type statement you can give to your customers.

im not saying youre lying, but youre lying. we have no record of that. not because were incompetent.

so youre telling me that my wireless card is just gonna keep disconnecting every single day, and the only way to “FIX” it is to restart my computer 10 times a day, repeatedly run network troubleshooting 10 times a day, and just WAIT when i lose internet for 10 minutes at a time every day and have to tell my paying customers, sorry, you have to wait 10 more minutes before the computer can take your money. nope we cant give you a discount either because budget. gotta cut costs goy. no refunds, no exchanges, no discounts, no service, no guarantees, all sales are final.

some people hate sitting in TRAFFIC. but you know whats even WORSE? actually being at work and having to deal with those callers and customers and tasks! traffic is EASY!!!!! its a NO BRAINER!!!! you just sit there and wait and move verrrrrryyyyyy sloooooooooowly. you already know how to HANDLE it. you dont need to make 1000 flashcards and study every night on how to deal with heavy traffic. its simple, its not complicated, its a 1+1 math problem.

meanwhile every phone call is a fookin Calculus 5 story problem where they bitch at you to explain why on every step, and youre not doing this fast enough, and dont you know what youre doing, why cant i speak to someone who knows what theyre doing, nobody in your department ever knows what theyre doing! isnt this your JOB????

so yeah i hate that. it is very nerve wracking, anxiety provoking.

now, anxiety was not a big problem for me for a good long while, from like 2010 to 2013. i was working an easy job, handling that, i wasnt anxious and nervous. i was grumpy and angry and hateful sure, but not anxious. 2014, 2015 were huge anxiety years, carried over into 2016 as well.

but it was nice to go several full YEARS without as much anxiety. but then it comes back for YEARS again. damn.

We have no record of this. Please reboot your computer and wait 10 minutes before attempting to use your cash register or office computers. Discounts/refunds must be approved by CEO, or create a Cash Drawer Shortage so your manager can fire you for stealing. Hope This Helps!

was this because i was working at a failing company, and everybody knew it was failing? (except for people who just listened to music all day and said idk go with the flow lol idk) the customers, the managers, the nonmanagers, the field, the support, everybody with half a brain?

when your customer says, this is DISGRACEFUL service, and you say, yeah i agree, but there’s nothing i can do here. i am the manager. policies. ill get in trouble. we cant just give discounts away. our company will go out of business. and then it goes out of business anyway through a combination of giving away discounts, bad service, low quality, high prices.

whos supposed to be doing this, because i dont know how to do this. oh im supposed to be doing this? says who? let me speak to their manager. oh theyre not in. you have one manager for 5 locations. ok whos the acting manager. nobody. ok whos the smartest person there. oh he’s not in. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON WHO IS THERE RIGHT NOW. hes in a meeting. ok, then who is the smartest who is in the building, who is not in a meeting, who can talk to me right now? nobody, were all on the phone with customers. i am literally the only person who can help you, and i dont know what im doing.

ok who has the most seniority/experience. oh this whole office/location is new. ive only been here a month and all the managers have only been here 2 weeks. NOBODY knows what theyre doing. so we call people for help, and THEY dont know what theyre doing.

sheeeeit times like this i need to get out of the house. i did apply for one job thank god, a military civ job. only took 16 minutes. well when you ONLY put 16 minutes or 15 minutes into a app, thats a good GUARANTEE that you will never get an interview! hahahahaha. you should be spending at LEAST an hour on every app, really fine tuning it to each job hahahaha.

anyway i have decided to go to the store today and get a white dress shirt that fits me a bit better than the one i usually wear for interviews, which is too big.

later

ok did that. felt the need to get out of house and DO something, not just complain in here, and force myself to apply for Jobs. and not “just” go for a walk, but DO something, anything i needed to do, like get a white dress shirt that fits better, or go buy laundry detergent for the home. going for a walk is fine, i need to lose weight (not really, but i do WANT to!) but i wanted to Baby Step Do Something today.

went to burlington for the shirt. we had a majority white town thank GOD but burlington in the middle of the afternoon is NOT majority white. there were a ton of blacks and especially arabs there. some asians.

the arabs in my town, you wouldnt have to worry about them joing ISIS, but they might be contenders for drug dealing and Raping White Gurls. but i dont think they are too islamic. they just speak arabic and haggle with cashiers at burlington and grope women and probably like to drink which is absolutely haram. smoke hookahs all day and watch soccer.

got some diet coke because i was curious to mix it with my coffee.

rejection emails that reference requisition numbers that DO NOT MATCH WITH the requisition numbers stated on the taleo site! it gives a 7 digit number, and all the req numbers i see are 6 digit! so i cant even match it up with a job on my spreadsheet for certain, because i recorded the 6 digit req number!!!!!! so i dont know which admin assistant job i was rejected for!

or you take 10 minutes to apply for a job (contingent (casual) job no less) and only when youre DONE does it tell you the job has expired. thanks NEWTON ATS.

wewlad. finally got in muh 3 apps for the day. so much shit is coming up expired. or i already applied to it but couldnt figure out if i had or not. felt like it took forever. much longer than the 42 minutes it should have taken hahahaha.  in fact it took 46 minutes hehehehehehe.

kirkland vodka. apparently critics say its better than gray goose and also way cheaper.

that basically all kirkland booze is high quality and reasonably priced.

i just thought that was kinda funny. as a guy who used to drink fooking near-bottom shelf canadian whiskey like canada house and rich and rare and royal canadian and CANADIAN HUNTER hahahaha. i couldnt even drink something good like VO or Crown Royal. once in a while i did canadian club hahahahaha.

Rich and Rare was probably the best quality for a low price, shameful booze, and candian hunter was the most BADASS……but not really the best quality. I cant not recommend the Rich And Rare though. got EPIC drunk off of that shit.

actually R&R was pricier than royal canadian.

i really dont know how i got into drinking steel reserve tho. BAD idea. i mean why not just drink lots of regular beer like miller lite. well, i did that too!

maybe get some kirkland weed hahahahahahahahahahaha. well im sure if they had some, it would be good.

i guess Kirkland Shirts are pretty good. not sure about pants hahaha. get some nice Kirkland Jeans hahahahaa.

10 thousand word post. this is definitely top 5% length folks.  just ridiculous.

get a kirkland wife hahahaha. kirkland mail order bride.

ya know i am not interested in a mail order bride at all. even a white one. maybe when i am 45 – 50 i will be hehehehe.

ok moved some of this long post to the previous post to match the lengths a little bettter.

i mean i just want to get a LOT of MJ right now. like a 4th or half ounce! like 100 dollars of MJ i would buy right now. i mean im thankful to have that kind of money, but thats what happens when you are a neet who didnt have a ton of expenses and saved most of their money when they were working.

are there any neets who ARENT virgins?

well probably. what i mean is there any neets who are getting secs from nonhookers at the time of their neetness? or even has a gf? neets with a gf? dont make me laugh hahahaha.

ate way too much at dinner again. went over limit of 1200 for the day.

now i CAN get all the way up to 1500 and not GAIN weight. ie 1500 is muh BMR. well i got to like 1450 today.

lesson: if your one Big Meal is a huge meal at a restaurant, that will put you well above 1200 unless you do a LOT of ezercise that day. like 500 calories at least. which some people can do in 30 minutes of running. not me. takes a solid hour of dam jogging.

sheeeeeeeeeeeit well i found the company THAT WOMAN works for and it is pretty damn close to muh house. well i saw a posting from the company on indeed and looked at it, then looked up the location of the company. it was about 2 or 3 miles from muh house.  thankfully i never go that way.

well i am now mad that she gets a job that is close to her home, closer than the last one. and that she can handle taking help desk calls.

well maybe she cant! maybe they put her on phones and she flipped the fook out because she’s not used to phones.

and it doesnt matter! it just sucks that i still think about her at all!

because i havent found a good REPLACEMENT for the positive stuff i got from her. namely a good connection with a decent woman, a real rel. its easy to have casual secs (well, not for me) but its HARD to have a real rel. real rels are inherently noncasual. they are long term. it is HARD to replace that shit.

and i am not happy at myself, that i looked up the exact location of the company. but i saw the company randomly on indeed, without searching for it, saw it was located in a city near mine which is a small city with nothing but machine shops (and i should really get a job at one of those, but then i might see her hahahahaha) and i was surprised that this type of company was in that city, THEN i looked up the exactly location, which, because it was in this small city, was OF COURSHE going to be close to me.

THEORETICALLY she could stop at the huge grocery store near here, to or from going to her job, and i could see her at the store, because this is the grocery store nearest to my home, and i go there regularly. was there today.

this is what happens 15 months after someone you never even fooked or dated dumps you hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

heh i applied to an Entry Level Data Entry job which ive applied to this same job 3 or 4 times. it just keeps appearing and appearing. i apply and apply. it gets hundreds of applicants every time. why keep opening it. very fishy. this time i totally forgot to change the name of the company from my previous cover letter. (i did change it the first time its mentioned, in the first paragraph, but forgot to do the second time, in the third paragraph.) sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit. now i am probably on a blacklist and should never apply to that job again. its disgraceful they even post the job so often. i am sure there si high turnover, lots of blacks. why cant they call me!!!!!!!!

yeah but i want a company that posts jobs rather than never posts jobs, right? even if they already HAVE all the candidates they could possibly need????

that feel when you get to 5 jobs in 1 day for the first time in a while because youve been getting discouraged and slowing down, then find out 1 of those is DEFINITELY disqualified because you made that stupid mistake.

thing is, they probably wouldnt even really care.

i hate that dumb blacks can get these jobs just because they dont have Anxiety HAHAHAHAHAHA no i am just partly kidding. its not because of Anxiety that i dont get these jobs, because i hide the anxiety FAIRLY well on interviews and fake my way as being MOSTLY normie with a normie level of interview anxiety. but it is very true that blacks have less anxiety than whites. its just the way they are wired. so they can aggressively grab women by the pvssy and impregnate as many women as possible in a total r selection strategy. and the women love it.