CHAD HOEST

mar 25

had dream about woman i like in  2007 or 8. she was very attractive and young but was a fatherless bipolar mudshark. good riddance. well shes been with the same mud guy now for like 2 years, thats not typical of muds fooking white gurls. shit im surprised shes capable of being with 1 man without dumping him for 2 years. i dont want the desperate thirsty man who is willing to settle for poor damaged me for the long term, better dump him.

anyway shes not a terrible person and in the dream she was being nice and interested in me, smiling at me, hanging out with me one on one, even grabbing muh d under the table. i was like well this is nice, cant wait to get you home and fook you like an animal several times in one night. i was totally enchanted just by her hanging out with me, looking at me, smiling and laughing and being flirty towards me. its not rocket science.

then i lost track of her and could not find her and was like OH SHIT that was a SURE THING and now I am gonna LOSE MUH CHANCE.

but yeah even if she is a crazy mudshark shes not a terrible person and i would have totally dated her and probably fallen in full luv with her if she had any interest in me. she was interested in being friendly with me for a few weeks, so that was enough for me! unfort she had a LOT of male friends and was always making new friends. VERY social. bad news. i was nothing special.  and i am sure i remember her a lot more than she remembers me, like 9 fookin years later. oh well. at least she looks older now.  but still totally bangable. and she is way more successful than me hahaha. and fooks negros. falls in LUV with negros. i mean thats pretty damning.

i dont need to say she was a huge slut ever since the age of 20 at least. becuase she was hahahaha.

and to think. many guys got to live out my dream of her being interested in them, then they got to fook her, then they probably got “too” interested in her, then she said UGH why are all these thirsty guys always falling in LUV with me, im not that luvable, then gave them the cold shoulder, fooked tons more guys, and only fell in luv with darkies, and still became way more successful than me hahahaha.

but yeah she’s not a terrible person. i wish her father were better to her and she had turned out better and had dated me hahahaha. then i never would have met That Woman.

you can probably get more than one oneitis in your life……but its way harder when you are older than 30 and looking at older women. it happens most readily when you are young and the women are young. then it happens maybe 3, 5 times and you better marry one of those gurls. doesnt help if they have no interest in you whatsoever hahaha.

anyway it was interesting to get a dream where a qt young gurl was being flirty with me and it felt good man, like do ALL NORMIES REALLY experience this in real life?

i actually experienced it with 2 women in my own life! 12 and 13 years ago hehehe. so i KNOW its real and not a myth.

i claim that its NOT weird to get attached to a person after you FOOK them, or even youve been making out with them. these things are supposed to generate bonding chemicals of oxytocin. so Thots who casually suck and fook, cant make oxytocin any more, cant get attached to any man. well except maybe THE MOST alpha, who already has His Choice of women throwing themselves at him.

also dont be captain save a child if the childs mother is a Ho and you are involved with her hahahaha. some men play captain save a ho and the ho has a young child that the white knight man gets attached to and wants to save the child along with the mother.

its ok to save the child, just ignore the mother tho. send the mother to a handmaids tale like breeding camp where she can breed white babies but not fook them up.

kinda shitty to have hwyte kids if youre just gonna fook them up. its very frustrating. you might ALMOST not have the kids at all if youre just gonna set them up to fail. but no abortions of hwyte babies. send the hwyte babies to a hwyte person who can take care of them. to a captain save a ho type man. give him a child to save instead. and he can continue to bang hos and thots. away from the childs eyes of course.

laid down cuz felt tired, didnt really Nap though. watching “mutiny on the bounty” with marlin brando from like 1961 and the hwytes are RACE MIXING like crazy with the tahitian THOTS. the captain should be condemning this race mixing abomination.

anyway point is, if some 20 year old girl with a healthy body is throwing herself at you, you conveniently forget about race. i probably even would too. but yeah i dont want to watch a movie from the 60s and see RAMPANT race mixing!

yeah yeah i get it, they are SAILORS, fine. i just smh when i see hwyte men getting YELLOW FEVER. pretty PATHETIC.

besides, what they dont say enough is that these gurls are huge sluts who treat EVERY guy like this. you think she’s gonna be faithful to YOU? or are you a degenerate who doesnt care if your woman is faithful? or hwyte?

well these men have been working hard like slaves on the sea and they are just looking for a little tenderness and now they are finally getting it. doesnt make race mixing RIGHT but i cant say id do differently in their position. id probably K muh self after 2 days on the SHIP!!!!!

like this guy chip gaines and his Triracial wife on the hit show fixer upper. he seems like a good man but seriously very very very GOOFY which probably made it harder for him to get a hwyte woman. so he gets with this….lets just call her asian woman. i know she is ASIAN, ARAB, and something else, maybe mexican. she is in good shape, very healthy weight, and has nice hair, and i would bang her too if i were a desperate thristy slave on board a ship. or right now, after 12 years of thirst hahahahaha. 12 years a thirsty slave.

but rather than pump and dump her, he fell in LUV with her and millions of people including me are watching the show. now thank god their kids look a lot whiter than she does and could prob PASS for whyte. shit you know i think the third race in her IS whyte. white, asian, and arab. i looked it up once hahahaa.

so that makes the kids 67% white. hmmmm. not quite good enough. POOR KIDS!!!! SAD!

only in a thoroughly jooed world would it make sense to have SECS with a person and NOT get ATTACHED to them.  this is EXACTLY how the joos DESTROY OUR race, by destroying the FAMILY, destroying CHILDREN, destroying relships between men and women, by saying that secs is casual and doesnt NECESSITATE ATTACHMENT.

every time you have casual secs, the J rubs his hands.

every time you don’t condemn casual secs, you murder your own race. just throw it into the oven.

LOVE YOUR RACE.

MJ has been less disappointing to me than WOMEN. BY FAR. the women always leave and break muh heart. the MJ, i pretty much know what I’m getting, and it works as intended. i use it to fulfill a similar role as women: to get warm fuzzies, a sense of romance and transcendence and The Sublime and The Beautiful.

and it more or less WORKED! its honestly an effective reinforcement. like a dog getting a treat. pavlovs dogs drooling for their treat. the only thing that can come close to TRAINING and CONDITIONING me like that is a Special QT young Woman who I Like, and its WAY easier to find MJ than to find a woman like THAT. even right now. when MJ is very slim pickins. likable women are even slimmer hahahaha.

they say romance books and bullshit like 50 shades of gray are porn for women, which i can see the point, but it misses a HUGE point of what pornography is. namely, 50 shades of gray is not even 1% as filthy, degenerate, destructive as the hardcore vidya porn for men, where real women are destroyed, degraded and abused to the delight of the jooz, where pathetic men who will never get a woman beat off to it bitterly.

in 50 shades of gray, real women arent being destroyed gaping their assholes for black bulls on camera. there’s just some fantasy of being seduced by a powerful manly man. nothing new there. so theres some very LIGHT fetishism. i’m surprised its not MORE jooish. and when it gets more jooish – like the degen filth produced to emasculate MEN – then i’ll get worried. until its used as a weapon to destroy people, you cant call it “pornography.” you can call it retarded, low brow jooish (((entertainment))) though!

how WOULD you make something like pornography for women though? basically, women can ALWAYS reproduce. i guess the more destructive thing would be entertainment that blatantly promotes casual secs, polyamory, polyandry, and even still, its not like women Dildo Themselves to Sex and The City or Cuckold Porno. and even if they did, they would still reproduce. but they would be ruined children for sure. not that many of them aren’t.

but yeah honestly i don’t think you CAN make something as bad for women as bad as actual porn has been for men. something like “GIRLS” by digusting pig lena dunham is the closest thing, and that is over and done with. women liked that show for 2 years at most. then it went out of favor and lena went too far even for the joos and people are like yeah shes a little weird. GIRLS was bad and promotes the worst kind of women, but its still not nearly as bad as porno for men.

yeah the worst thing for women would be much complex things than “just porno”: stuff like ABORTION and FEMINISM basically and everything related to that. it all contributes to the idea of sexual liberation, culture of casual sex, disposability of human life, etc etc.

outlaw pornography and outlaw abortion. this would go a good way to changing the culture. outlaw no fault divorce. oh but muh freedoms, there should be no laws, no gummint. no this is not a libertarian website hahahahaha. we believe in law and order, for the protection of the fascist nation and our fascist hwyte race. laws to keep out da jooz. theyve been kicked out of 200 countries. i wonder why. because goys hate the poor jooz. the poor innocent victims that never did anything to get banned from 200 countries in 2000 years.

i guess tinder would be like porn for women to. give them a platform to HAVE casual sex and to make their OWN porno pictures and videos with the guys they casually fook like sluts.

but yeah life is a COMPETITION. FIERCE competition. for women, and for jobs.

heh. its funny though. it was easier for me to get into a Highly Selective University than it was to get an 11k a year job. WAYYYYYY easier.  I applied to like 3 universities and got accepted to them all. no i did not apply to harvard, yale, princeton, stanford, MIT, i just wasnt interested, and i prob WOULDNT have gotten in.

it was easier for me to get into a Highly Selective University at age 17 that it was to Win the Hearts of Sluts and Mudsharks.

so yeah i guess i wasnt prepared for HOW competitive the world really was. kinda wish i had just gotten rejected from that uni! i only went there because it was Highly Selective and a Really Good Name, so if i go here, i will be SET FOR LIFE, even if I do average work in a useless degree. WRONG.

anyway back from sat afternoon church, ate some dinner, took powerwalk, and gonna actually be under calorie goal for once.

anyway i guess that dream about that OTHER woman was good because it wasnt about THAT woman. but it still doesnt prove i could have feelings for a brand new unknown woman.

well, logically, if it were a young, nice, attractive woman,  i probably could. if she were about 7/10 and about 25 years old (or younger!) but as i get older, this age standard gets harder and harder to reach. also them being willing to spend time with you (one on one, not just in groups), and respond to you, and be nice to you, that can cause you to have feelings too.

so yeah i COULD. but to pull a woman that YOUNG when I am not YOUNG…that seems unlikely.

logged into my runescape game for the first time in 3 years. it looked totally different.  i then logged into “old school” which looked familiar but it had set me all the way back to the beginning. sad! i remember the game being kinda fun. now its making me type the stupid password in and wont even let me paste the long unique password i have for security. you have to type in the password every time. might as well save it as password123.

funny that the women you never forget have forgotten you like their fathers have forgotten about them. and the guys these women can’t forget have in turn forgotten about THEM.

well you know i bet their fathers havent FORGOTTEN about them. they are just too COWARD to do the right thing.

come on. was i really THAT forgettable? i dont think so. i know my male friends remembered me.

taake does a CURE cover. this sounds like a potentially good idea. havent listened yet. this is from the cure “pornography” album which is very very bleak and dark and which i imagine would be anti pornography. i guess i would have to look at the lyrics of the album to determine why they called it that.

just trying to psych myself up for his boring concert so i get my 22 dollars worth hahahahahahaha no it should be pretty good. also prepping his most recent 2 albums “stridens hus” and “noregs vaapen” which i have not listened to. in 2008 i was actually aware of taake and thought he was pretty good so i was excited about his New Self Titled Album in 2008. It turned out being very boring and underwhelming so then i stopped being so ecxcited about taake. the end. then 9 years later he came to my town and i said what the heck ill go see him. shit i cant believe i first heard taake more than 9 years ago. it doesnt seem that long ago. i certainly haven’t “been a fan” for 9 years hahahahaha.

seems like most fans agree: his 2008 s/t album was boring and uninspired, his next album noregs vaapen was a strong comeback, then his next album stridens hus was kinda lackluster again. well he never makes an album longer than 45 minutes, thats good.

this unartig usually has decent recordings of NYC shows on youtube. hear taake does a good live show. he looks like he’s into it and is not so grim he can’t interact with the fans. but not so silly he cant be grim either. i think his whole thing is to recreate classic 90s black metal. back when dissection and emperor and darkthrone and burzum and mayhem were the coolest bands ever. i am kind of this era too, not being THAT much younger than hoest, so hipster blackgaze young kids black metal still seems a little weird to me, as im sure it does to him.

i dont understand those shitty pants he is wearing though. literally the worlds most falling apart jeans. there was a photograph taken once of his D hanging out of his terribly shredded pants hahahahaha. i would just get a new pair of pants already buddy. but glad to see he hasnt gotten all fat and is still in good shape in his Late Thirties.

in 2015 he had a huge hipster beard hahahaha but in 2016 he cut it to normie length hahahaha. but seriously his long beard looked good. i cant grow a long beard like this because muh beard hairs grow in weird directions whereas his beard grows straight down and out so he can grow it long.

if you see pictures of him not looking made up or trashy or drunk but attempting to look semi presentable, he is handsome as fook and could easily pull a 20 year old 8/10 waifu. JELLY. CHAD HOEST.

mar 26

yeah actually pretty excited about this. one could do a lot worse than taake. i SHOULD be a bigger fan. i was big on metal in 1999 and 2002 when he was releasing his first big albums. i just dont recall reading about them! 2005 hordaland came out just as i was making out with a grill for the last time hahahaha but i was tuned out of metal at that time, and for a few more years after. then i came back sometime around 2008 because i remember when the taake album came out and everyone was disappointed.

but yeah. i wonder if he likes sacramentum. probably. taake should be my favorite band because they tap right into that sweet spot before black metal got young and weird, and old and boring. and never attempted to “innovate” in the embarrassing ways older bands like satyricon did. the younger bands did a LOT better job of that, shit i totally respect bands like alcest or wolves in the throne room (do they really count as younger though?) well, repsect their MUSIC I should say haha. also saor, winterfylleth, wodensthrone, 10’s UK black metal is bretty kewl, but nothing really weird about it: it is just straight up pagan heathen atmospheric BM with no funny stuff. you could say similar about taake. its bretty atmospheric, quite melodic.  the funniest he gets is occasional “black and roll” and using a banjo once which got way too much attention. well it doesnt help that he brings the banjo on tour with him to play during that one song.

yeah i am officially excited. i will relisten to the old taake albums because i have forgotten large portions of them. i will listen to the newer albums i missed entirely. i listened to the cure song today, it was ok but yeah the vocals were a miss hahahaha. would have been better off just impersonating robert smith, who has a good voice.

Image result for ørjan stedjeberg

but yeah this is what i mean, chad hoest. very handsome. a total 8.8/10 man hahahahaha. he could literally be a male model.

but it is degenerate to get an upside down cross tattoo. but i can totally understand why. he was probably drunk and 18. when i was drunk and 18 i just drew an upside down cross on my arm with a marker hahahaha. he goes and gets a permanent tattoo on his chest. SMDH.

when he is good, he is really, really, really good. he taps into the pure essence of black metal, which really covers a YUGE range of emotions. its not just “cold” or “grim” but it certainly includes those things. sorrow and beauty and nostalgia and epic and pride and and yearning and anger and hatred and angst and even romance and even some hwyte racial pride in there (but i dont expect any creators to acknowledge or even realize that last one. it still comes through implicitly. you cant escape becoming who you are, goy, hahahahahaha.)

and taake covers ALL these bases rather than just being hateful or just being depressive or just being grim, and keeps the music very dynamic, epic, interesting, hot-blooded, passionate, earnest, sincere.

except when it doesnt, then it’s just as boring as all other boring black metal.  but taake hits some very strong highs.

also hoest is a very powerful singer and has a recognizable voice.

he hangs out with some degenerates, so i hope he is less degenerate than them. i guarantee he is more degen than i would like him to be tho. he prob drinks too much, prob bangs too many dirty sluts, def has too many degen tattoos, has gone to jail, probably for drunkenly, stupidly fighting another drunk white man. (speculation). he sort of “apologized” as much as he could for the svastica incident in germany 2007.

he is an obvious narcissist who has HIMSELF on ALL of his album covers hahaha.  well a man needs to have CONFIDENCE in himself and not be a meek depressive self-loather!

would like to see video of him recording the albums. does he actually play the drums? on older abums I know he got a guest drummer.

what is his opinion on iron maiden? probably positive but what if its neutral?

does he have any illegitimate children? i could see him being a deadbeat father who leaves his bastard children with their metal/bar slut mothers so he can go on tour and bang more metal sluts. just speculation hahahaha. if he has children, i HOPE he takes care of the children. kinda hard to do when you are on tour months at a time though! which is why you should do like garth brooks and retire from touring when your kids are young. you can still play a few shows a year.

do like varg. release a string of classic albums when you are very young, then shift the focus from music to having 6 or more children.  music is a young man’s game. especially metal and black metal.

in other words, hoest should have retired from black metal in 2006 after hordaland, settled down with a NICE gurl and started having babies. how about he could get a job as a Music Teacher and still play music with a Norwegian Folk Group. but no more hateful drunken metal. he’s a family man nao.

but that didnt happen.

and we still would have had those classic first 3 albums, and he could have had 5 kids before he was 40. win win. instead he is making hit or miss albums and getting drunk at age 39. talk about despair. judge judge judge hahahahahahahaha. at least he is traveling the world and banging women and still makes 50% good albums hahahaha and has fans and is leaving some kind of legacy hahaha.

i bet he could just retire to bjoergvin and find a nice gurl even now. there are still good women left, even in the us, even in degen norway and sweden.

but would i let my virgin daughter marry hoest?

well, i would test the shit out of him first! no more tattoos, no more drinking, no more tours, no more sluts, from now on you are going to be a husband and father! i mean either that sounds good to you or it doesnt. to me it sounds great, except for providing for that family.

could he really be a music teacher? could he really make enough money to live off that in NORWAY, where they take 60% of your income in taxes and gas is 10 dollars a gallon and it costs 10000 dollars to rent a shoebox apartment?

would he want to be a music teacher? would he be a good music teacher? uhhh i think he’d enjoy it more than being a Call Center Agent or a Lidl/Tesco slave. maybe he has terrible people skills though.

well, you cant bang dozens of women and have terrible people skills.

how do i know he’s banged dozens of women? you can just tell.

men who bang dozens of women, even if they are horrible sluts, have what it takes to be successful in other areas of life. raw confidence and toughness and masculinity. he just has to be WILLING to give up the degenerate, sensualist life of booze and sluts.

i guess if you’re actually GETTING the sluts, it could be hard to give up. for me, even getting SLUTS was a huge struggle. for CHAD HOEST, I bet its as easy as a woman getting a chad.

i should clearly write a fanfic of chad hoests alternate life, then give it to him at the concert. then he will uh oh this guy is right, i better start making babies. i am 39 years old and a handsome hwyte man. what am i doing with my life. shit you can go to southern france like varg if norway has become too ridiculous. i dont doubt that it has. go to poland. go to hungary. go to romania. its all good. we’re all hwyte here.

russia and ukraine are great, i just worry that da J’s have too much power there. in poland possibly too.  guess its gotta be better than NORWAY. in terms of the current norwegian gummint.

lets make norway great again hahahaha.

hey i dont blame chad hoest for descending into sensualist degeneracy, look at what his HOME is BECOMING!

my home is becoming similar. and i descended into hateful nihilism of black metal and the hedonist sensualism of drugs and, in the past, alcohol and pr0n. never had the luxury of real live grills like chad tho. i hear that can be real hard to give up. i just cant put myself in chad’s shoes. and chad cant put himself in mine.

hey im no better. i just want to be lazy and do MJ all the time. muh brain and muh WILL is BROKEN.

i have bitterness towards women because they cant just injure, its always INSULT UPON INJURY with these demons hahahahaha. they cant just reject you and say sorry, they have to reject you and be huge mudshark sluts afterwards. you cant have me but all these other guys sure can. im a dirty degen slut, but im still too good for YOU, ya meek neet wimpy sissy loser child.

i guess they arent intentionally trying to “rub it in your face” when they do slutty shit after rejecting you and you just happen to hear about it because you are borderline stalking them hahahahahaha. then thats your fault. well shit. i argue they should be being sluts ANYWAY. no woman NEEDS to be a slut. fook that shit. its BAD, there is no use for it ever. makes schlomo say GOOD GOYIM. because it DESTROYS the goy race. not IMMEDIATELY, but in the long term. even 50 lousy years can do a hell of a lot of damage. that’s not too long term. that’s less than one lifetime.

can lead the horse to water but cant make them drink. this is one of the most important true cliches ever. very relevant for me and very relevant for others too. including that woman. its all about WILL. so do you blame yourself for FAILING TO INSPIRE WILL????!!?!???

did you really lead them to the right water?

why arent they drinking?

why arent you SELLING the water good enough? aren’t you SKILLED enough to SELL this water?

i would say dont blame yourself too much. sometimes there really is nothing you can do. GOD has to get in there and even HE might not be able to do anything. THE FREE WILL. what a horrible, horrible thing!

i had all the opportunities to succeed but i would rather sm0ke MJ, drnk alcohol, look at porn, and take it easy. coast.

i put myself all in for her and said take me or leave me and she left me as sure as you can leave a person.

KARMA hahahaha.

no im really not a bad guy i SWEAR. i never want to do anybody wrong. i just hated working hard when the payoff would come in longer than 4 years hahahaha.

I DIDNT REALIZE WHAT A BIG MISTAKE I WAS MAKING! I WAS YOUNG AND IMMATURE!

the problem was the mistake wasnt just one big mistake, it was many little mistakes over like 4 years, that were not super visible to me, or to anyone around me. shit if my fam was convinced i was making a Big Mistake, they would have done something about it. but NO ONE KNEW what a big mistake i was making. thats what especially sucks. no one knew, no one could stop me. and if i could go back in time, i would damn sure stop myself.

average of 8:53 hours of sleep a night. DAMN. well, there it is. cant argue with the numbers hahahaha.

just trying to figure out the best time to go to bed when i get up at 5 am. apparently 8 pm hehehehe. OR EARLIER. 7:15 pm, because i take about 45 minutes to fall asleep after i get into bed.

i dont even know what would have been good for me. military, i prob would have private pyled.

i think just go to local comm college while continuing to work muh job i had at age 17. gotten into a machine apprentice thing. but i prob wouldnt even have THOUGHT of that. it took me till at least 28 to determine that that was a good idea.

i would have still been like college sucks, working sucks, everything sucks, just get the easiest degree there is and prepare for a life of sucking hahahaha. get used to it. deal with it. but maybe i would have been physically prevented from doing as much MJ and alcohol. not sure though. i STILL managed to do a lot of MJ and alcohol when i was home with the fam. quite a damn bit, now that i think of it. DAMN.

well, i would have stayed at the job i had until i found something better. it was a very easy job and i wuldnt just quit it. basically i had to leave it because muh college got in the way too much. ironic.

also i never would have gotten laid and never would have made out or cuddled with grills hahahaha. well i prob would have made out with grills but may well have never stopped being a V at age 21 like i did. i mean shit if were a 30 year old VIRGIN my confidence would be even LOWER. at least i can say oh yeah i stopped being a VIRGIN at a SOMEWHAT normie age.

hehehe whats def NOT normie is how i never had secs or GF or makeout or cuddles SINCE then hahahaha.

anyway, it really is impossible to say. maybe i would have just gone to another kollige and things would have turned out just as bad. maybe i would have stayed at home and gone to local college and things would have turned out just as bad hahahaha. I was BORN to become a neet failure nevergf 11k a year loser.

ok ok ok these are all horribly negative thoughts and i shouldnt even be THINKING THEM, let alone writing them down for all eternity as part of “MUH LIFE STORY” hahahaha.

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https://www.fool.com/investing/2016/12/04/top-marijuana-stocks-to-buy-in-2017.aspx

i would not recommend putting all your money into MJ stocks, youd be better buying BTC hahahaha.

i would say if you get crabby like that, just lay donw and take a NAP if you can. if its a weekend and you dnt have to WORK or STUDY WORK hahaha. i did that, got at least 30 minutes, factored that into my Big Data. by number is inching closer and closer to 9 hours a night!

if i get 1 minute less than 9 hours of sleep every night, i get SO CRABBY i CANNOT FUNCTION hahahahaha.

i am like john cusack in high fidelity. thinking of all these women in the past, oh maybe she was the one, maybe she was the one, i should try to reconnect from this grill from 15 years ago, etc etc. not that ive actually done this. but it has crossed my mind. like lets give it another chance. and they are probably not gonna do the Reaching Out here. but im 40 and still single, what have i got to lose by Reaching Out to these people 10, 20 years later. i wasnt the one who ended this. i would have stayed with you and let it run its course if you didnt Prematurely Dump Me!

did he DUMP any of the women in that movie?

in real life, men actually DO dump women. hard to believe but its true.  i’ve never done it and dont really WANT to hahahaha.

and what an ANNOYING JOO cusack was in that annoying jooish movie!!!!!!! that is not how proud hwyte men act! this is not a man who is worthy of any woman! never act anything like that! its amazing he had been with like 5 women in his life! and not 0! he should have been a virgin!

stupid fookin jooish movie. cant believe i watched it like 3 times. this is why you stop being a big music fan when you become an adult. music is not a serious time consuming interest of successful, respectable adults. its like smokin MJ. its immature, arrested development.

why do you think people who smoke MJ listen to so much MUSIC hahahaha.

oh god i just want to sm0ke MJ.

GLR did not become joo wise until age 32 hahaha. i was 30 at the oldest. more like 28 hehehehe.

some people say you should get rid of all drunk driving laws and should only prosecute people for drunk driving if there is an accident and somebody gets hurt and the person at fault is drunk.

but no just pulling people over and giving them a misdemeanor 10k DUI for having 8% BAC.  no waiting to nab people coming out of bars. no dui checkpoints.

INTERESTING.

ok 730 planning to go to bed around 8. its science. did absolutely nothing productive this weekend. took naps, played cards, wrote whining shit. well i did do 2 loads of laundry, trimmed beard, took powerwalk on saturday i think. got concert ticket for furst concert in almost 2 years. worked on Budget. worked on Sleep Spreadsheet. wrote a ton of stuff, 25% of it good. created another spreadsheet showing the current sizes of all types of clothes i wear. measurements, sizes. dress shirts, pants, suits, chest, neck, legs, waist, arms, shoes, coats, shorts, undershorts, sweatpants, anything and everything as of mar 26 2017.

prepared a bunch of sound files. podcasts and taake albums.

crunched some serious analytics. gathered some good data and crunched some good numbers.

was just disappointing on muh job search, which i dont even want to really DO shit till like july, and also on muh powerwalking. yeah i should have gone to the gym but oh well. also gained almost 2 pounds hehehehe.

 

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CAPTAIN SAVE A CHILD

mar 22

heh.  i was thinking about how ridiculous it is to be rejected by something you want to be part of. like i want to give you a donation, nope we wont take your donation because you suck. thats even worse than we wont take YOU, but well take your money. what about just stop sending us money. but you still do good work and i want to support you.

i mean with WOMEN, you say, welp, i tried, i struck out, you dont want me, i’ll just move on. but what if WEEV rejects me and says he doesnt want my money? that doesnt make weev’s work less valuable! i would still want to support it!

well this is not gonna happen, i just got amused because i thought it might happen hahahaha. no weev is not gonna reject me or my money. it would just be funny and ridiculous if he did!

well it would be CUCKY to continue donating to him if he did. so i would say i luv what he does but he doesnt want my money, so i stopped giving.

anyway its not werf talking about because it didnt even happen. it shouldnt happen. its worrying about absolutely absurd shit.

did you know you could get a DUI for passing out drunk and Sleeping It Off in the drivers seat of a car? this is what happened to chris cantwell, who i am kinda liking more and more. he is a better writer than i guessed he would be, and he is kinda like me in that as a young man he rejected the authority of the CHURCH and was very rebellious and he liked drinking and smokin MJ and didnt want to stop because it was too much fun. then he started getting DUI’s and seeing that drug people were degen losers. but he kept drinking because now he had a drinking problem. anyway he went to jail for 2 dui’s, that sucks. some states its 3, i guess in his state it was 2! damn! i might become a libertarian too hahahaha. but now he is moving away from that and is becoming more and more racist, which i like. he struggles like crazy and he is trying so hard. i can sympathize and Empathize. he always has trouble with some damn dirty sluts. probably because deep down he doesnt believe he deserves a good white women, so he gets these crazy dirty mulatto sluts.  but he does deserve a good hwite woman!!!!

holy shit. when i get up at 5 am, like CLOCKWORK i want to take a MAD powernap around 3:30, 4 pm.  i would not even be done with an Honest Days Work by then!

GLR’s “hwyte power” is quickly losing momentum. it starts off very strong in the first 2 chapters but then drops off. still very readable and not at all bad, but just a big dropoff in momentum. still worth buying and reading though. just not as fun as it was in the beginning. maybe a joo editor would have helped him with his pacing hahahaha.

there is a new autistic muppet starting on sesame street in april. i should not be surprised. actually i AM surprised theres not a Transexual Muppet yet. honestly. that would be the best way to sell such a thing to children. honestly! i dont even think there is a GAY muppet, that is REALLY shocking. i cant believe theres never been a gay sesame street muppet in the past 10 years. what a great way to turn hwyte kids into gay sissies who will never reproduce.

he spends a lot of time talking about Communiss in Cuba and china and the communist connection with oswald and the JFK assassination, whcih to be sure, were uge stories when he wrote the book. i think he is saving up most of his joo hate until like page 100 or so. just wish he’d get out with it earlier.

tempted to look at reddit relships but fighting the minor urge cuz i know its gonna be filled with leftist hamster wimmin and omega sissie bitchbois apologizing to them hahahahaha and begging for table scraps.

mean the relships arent rocket science when the gurl LIKES you and is WILLING to make an effort to be with you. thats all you need. then you can make all the mistakes you want and she will keep giving you chance after chance after chance after chance. none of this one strike and youre out shit. that just means you NEVER had even ONE chance. so i guess i should feel reassured by that. because once i thought i had ONE chance hahaha. you NEVER get just ONE chance. unless you do ahahaha. who cares. god damn negro fooking degenerate pig wh0res. nothings sacred with these degenerate jooish pigs.

ok ok i am being negative again. negative nancy. have to have a more positive attitude. it was an overly negative attitude and negative thinking that got me into this MESS.

how to stop negative thoughts? you identify the thought as negative, then say STOP! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!! and just say that to most of your thoughts because most of them are probably negative. about how women are horrible, or how you are a weak soft untough neet virgin loser who cant handle the tough adult world.

you can keep the negative thoughts about joos because they really are awful hahahahahahaha. but i would recommend thinking about some pleasant things to balance that out.

some people feel about GOD and JESUS and RELIGION the way I feel about The Hwyte Race. Good for them I guess.  I wish I had that kind of faith but I dont.  as long as they have a healthy sense of racial hygiene they dont bother me. when you start adopting africans for jesus youve gone too far. or missionarying in africa . well i mean the mormons do that and then they STILL have 10 white kids by age 23, so…..good for them. hope they stay that way.  i have heard unsubstantiated rumors that mormons are darkening hehehe. i hope not.

nothing against the christians. i am technically one. its not an inherently bad message. i dont even think its inherently jooish. although some people make it pretty jooish. and that’s bad. obviously.

franco sinazi with his new song which is a parody of “strangers in the night” and is very very very catchy. play it for normies and see if they notice. negros beaners and skypes hahahaha.

just waiting to go to damn bed. i might not have done much but i probably did my best hahahahahahaha. well i guarantee you i didnt do my worst. and at least im not a neet anymore. and i am not a virgin hahaha.

mar 23

wow a metal show that i immediately said YES IM GOING I HAVE TO GO I AM EXICITED TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO GO because it was on a good night and most importantly, a good location. great location on a good night. the band taake. now i dont know much about current year taake, but I do know that the first 3 taake albums are very good. and that taake/hoest made insensitive remarks about mudslims and once got drunk and drew a SVASTICA on his chest hahahahahahaha. he is a drunk degenerate but I feel he might be a little racist.

he couldnt keep up the impossibly high average set by his first three albums, but for those he earned his place in the pantheon and I will gladly get high energy about going to see him live in a few months. a honest Black Metal show. haven’t been to many of those. closest thing would be I saw mayhem once. mayhem counts as black metal hahahaha. are you kidding, mayhem totally counts as black metal.

i dont see why black metal shouldnt be “live” music.  I would luv to see any of muh fav black metal bands live. i would gladly go see deathspell omega play a shitty sloppy show hahahaha.

anyway. eavesdropped on great conversation between successful professionals about their college age kids. you just assume the kids are gonna get masters degrees, get good jobs, get married, have children.

well what if they dont. what if they fook up one of those. or like me, ALL of them.

the kids all have IDEAS of what they want to do. well i wanted to go to MED SKOOL but got cold feet on that so i started an ENGIN degree instead. i know to get a good paid internship after my second year of uni.

im an 18 year old gurl and i want to become a physician assistant and i know i have to get all a’s in college and go to a good grad school to do that, and i am prepared for all that. i know to never get a B, never to do drugs, never to get less than 3 good internships. these middle class parents set their kids up to succeed hahahaha.

well i wasnt set up to FAIL. i was given all the CHANCES to succeed but I didnt have enough personal agency or pushing. I needed someone to make bigger decisions for me because i didnt know how to make big decisions. i didnt want to go to grad school, i didnt even want to go to college, i just wanted to sm0ke MJ and jerk off to porn all day hahahahahahahahaha.

i mean what do you do as a concerned parent when your kid starts to fook up. do you say, well he’s old enough to start making his own mistakes, and hopefully learn from them? what if he doesn’t learn from them?

i wish i had been more of a normie like this guys kids hahahaha. i bet this 19 year old engineer nerd is actually a normie chad who has had a gf hahahaha. he will prob be successful even though he as a 19 year old boy likes sleeping in till noon sometimes. oh. i thought the RULE WAS, you have to get up at 4 am at the latest EVERY SINGLE DAY if you EVER wanted to be successful in life, ie, outcompete all the competition and get a sick 30k a year middle class job hahahaha.

basically, i was weirder than i thought i was hahahaha. i was SUPER weird. SUPER jelly of the NORMIES.

and maybe for normies, its not such a god damn neverending struggle to succeed. its not easy, they still work hard, they struggle some, but its not like madly thrashign just to tread water. they are not always on the verge of falling apart. otherwise more normies would fail.

well there’s plenty of failures too!

anyway weekend nao. took a benedryl. will take 2 valiums later. wouldnt mind some MJ. but not craving it as bad as i did 1 month ago thank god. I am still prepared to buy a huge quantity of it should the opportunity present itself.

i dont like how women make you all competitive hahahaha. i had a dream about some old friends, some really great guys i remember fondly. it wasnt until i was hanging out with them as a group with WOMEN that I became aware of the idea that, damn, these guys are COOLER than me, and would totally have an advantage over me for women. yeah it MAKES SENSE, they ARE cooler than me, I just wish I could hang out with these guys apart from these women. These are good guys and I dont want WOMEN to cause any DRAMA. but why should I be mad at the GUYS? and i wasnt. i was butthurt at the GURLS hahahahaha.

There never was any real drama, thank GOD.  i mean this is just the classic broes before hoes situation.

taake live. thats pretty cool though. i wont know the majority of the songs but i bet it will be good. hoest is known as a Good Performer. Intense. im sure there will even be qt yung gurls there because qt young gurls like metal nao, they have for like 6 years hahaha. maybe i can get some of hoests sloppy seconds hahahaha.  i know better than to want to marry a metal grrrrl hahahaha. not interested. expectations status: managed.

ate dinner, back, took valium, now sitting here drinking coffee, play some cards, this is the best time to do MJ but i dont have any. prob should not take valium then drink coffee, may be like throwing valium in the trash hahaha. oh well. whats done is  done.

being able to SELL stuff. being TOUGH. these are good LIFE SKILLS that will be valuable in ANY and EVERY job. its simple. the better you are at these things, the better you will do in life. DIRECT proportion. direct relationship. really its full blown CAUSE AND EFFECT, not just corrolation.  the younger you are when you learn how to SELL shit and to BE TOUGH, the better, because the easier it will be for you to MASTER these skills quickly.

i was always pretty weak at both.  i cant sell myself to women, cant sell myself to employers, cant sell my damn RACE to other members of my race. and yeah being TOUGH will help you SELL better too. sales.

how jooish is casablanca. i often watch TCM channel and see oldass movies. most of them are more jooish than i would like. hollywood was jooed since like the 1920s. since movies began they were jooed. casablanca. heavy themes of the natzees are the bad guys. evil natsees. well shit. do you expect a movie where the natsees are the GOOD guys? theres never been a single one. expectations. manage them.

but yeah he is lovelorn for ingrid bergman. not bad. he never wanted to see her again. what the hell happened between them in paris? she dumped him for lazlo? but she really luvs rick?

wirrten by joos, directed by a joo. its def watchable though. good cuddler with a good waifu hahaha if she doesnt fall asleep because its so old and boring and then leave you for a more EXCITING man.

also its CONFUSING. thats my fault because everything is CONFUSING to me, i have a learning disability called everythings confusing because i sm0ked too much w33d 10 years ago, so i can’t make sense, understand, or explain anything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casablanca_(film)

you know who WASNT jooish? HITCHOCK. WELLES.

bogart fought AGAINST the fascists in spain in casablanca. joos are always anti fascist. therefore, fascists are the good guys hahahaha. what was the most successful, long lived fascist state? how did croatia happen. was croatia ever “fascist”? what about sweden? norway was “occupied” but it wasnt technically an “axis” power. was sweden?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_during_World_War_II

it was “neutral” and unoccupied

maybe norway resented this?

i dunno its impossible for me to learn and to answer questions and understand situations at all , hahahaha

NOTHING MAKES SENSE. NOTHING. hahahaha. you can try to make sense of it, but you will fail.

had some diet red cherry mello yello today. when i used to drink soda i used to get code red or code blue mt dew. what the hell was the blue stuff called. VOLTAGE. omg. i was notorious for drinking mt dew VOLTAGE. best soda ever. but they didnt make a diet version. i didnt see if they had blue diet mello yello but they had red and i was happy with that.

of course diet soda is so crappy you dont like it as much. i just had 1 because i was at burger king and had a drink and they had one of those touch screen 50 flavors sodas. pretty amazing that. how the hell do these minimum wage people fix such a thing when its broken. there were white kids working there. probably because fast food is actually such a TOUGH job only white kids are SMART enough to HANDLE it. nonwhites are TOO DUMB FOR FAST FOOD JOBS.

i mean these are not easy jobs folks. you have a TON of shit to do, with no fookups. dealing with disgusting fat degen customers stuffing their fat opioid degenerate faces and bitching at these poor white kids.

808 pm. taking second valium.

NORMIES can get MJ rather easily because they are SOCIAL. but normies also dont become total p0theads. they are happy to just partake once in a while, in moderation, or a huge binge every couple months. that’s basically moderation.

so im saying degen p0theads are not normies??? in a way they ARENT!

so are normies winners or losers? i would say generally they are winners compared to losers and nonnormies! 28k might not seem like a huge winner…..but it really is! and prob most normies make arund that. a fast food manager makes that.

oh well. at least i am not fat any more. and i have a place to live. and a good fam. it just sucks that at one time i had a halfway decent MIND……and now i dont.  i mean i am not batshit schizophrenic thank GOD…..but i just feel like a confused idiot child mcuh of the time.

and i want to do MJ????? you think that will HELP this mental state? fook no, itll make it 14 times worse!!!!!

heh. it would be really fun to get blazed as fook and then go to that taake concert! and then just stay in the back. or maybe go right up front and give Roman Salutes to hoest so he knows I am down with the 14 words hahaha.

MAYBE there will be ANTIFA protesting the show like antifa protested marduk recently at some of their US shows because marduk Is Interested in Semi Fascist A E S T H E T I C S.  and they were never photographed with a svastica on their chest hahaha. thats more than enough to get you protested by jooish antifa.

at their best, taake is much less boring than marduk. marduk has like 1 classic song. taake has several and they are much more creative and brilliant than marduk’s 1 classic song (“christraping black metal” which just relies on 2 very catchy riffs.) taake has riffs that are very catchy, but still somewhat “weird”, and they piece 1400 riffs catchy but weird riffs together in a way that does not sound like riff salad masturbation like nile hahahaha. he has a good songwriting sense and a great production sense as well. but again all this kinda declined after the first 3 albums. also he comes from the same town as b00rtzum hahahaha. also he wears super grim corpse paint and convincingly pulls off grim and hate-filled.  also he waves a large norwegian flag sometimes, which suggests sympathies to Nationalism. that or he supports the marxist zionist ZOG traitors who runs norway now hahahaha and is a total NEOCOHEN.

pretty sure he is a drunk tho and might do other drugs. pretty degen.

i am cautiously optimistic it will be a fun show even if i only know 1 or 2 songs. he might even have a new album out now, who knows.

ok i guess he had a us tour in 2016 but did not play near me so i didnt miss anything.

ok, shining is also doing a us tour with REVENGE. not big on shining but i think REVENGE would be an awesome live show. and i would prob stay for shining hahaha even though they are totally degenerate and ridiculous.

sheeeeeeit that show is coming to town but in the worst possible venue, a venue i will avoid for being in a black ghetto and just the trashiest place in the trashiest neighborhood, where i have missed GOOD shows just because i didnt want to go to that shitty shitty club that even by Metal standards is ultra degenerate. i would go if someone else were driving and i cannot really arrange that. well shit maybe i could park in the nearest hwite neighboorhood and get an uber from there and back hahahahaha.

oh shit i dont have a smartphone so i cant get an uber hahahaha.

i mean this place is just no fun and a huge buzzkill anyway. and shining is degen AF, glorifying drugs and suicide. whereas revenge glorifies death, destruction, power, conquering, slaughtering, hellstorm, very very ultra masculine. but kinda degen because of their total nihilism and unfocused hate. lets just get drunk and hate everything. hate all humanity equally kind of misanthropy that has gone beyond mere despair.

i would prefer just to see revenge headlining in a smaller, nicer club.

and j. read is a BEAST of a drummer and basically i would just be going to see him in person doing his incredible stuff. and sometimes the guy from angel corpse plays with them, pete helmkamp, and he is a kewl dude. and probably less degen, more principled, less of a drunk hahaha. not sure if helmkamp is on this tour.

its not cool to be a drunk you guys. its worse than you ever imagined. stop fooking drinking. you are doing untold damage.

mar 24

bought the taake ticket. not tickets because i am going solo hahahaha. really dont have anyone i would like to go with. none of muh acquaintances would be remotely interested in spending 20 bucks to see a show they are not interested in. its really amazing all people dont go to Shows Solo. that they can find other people interested and who have the time available. even if i still associated with That Woman, i couldnt get her to go to this, and if i did, she would probably dump me for a tougher guy at the show, or hoest himself hahahaha.

well ya know i could very probably find some MJ among the metal people in the crowd or parking lot.

sweet might be able to buy 10 dollars of MJ in 2 months from now hahaha

ok adding to muh spreadhseet of BIG DATA ANALYTICS re sleep times. i have been marking when i go to BED, then best estimating when i actually FALL ASLEEP (ABOUT 45 minutes after I get into bed). it would only make SENSE to then mark when I wake up, and then use that to calculate an  average of how much sleep i am actually getting.

so i have started simply adding the wake up time, which on job days is 5 am. very consistent. on nonwork days it is maybe about 9:30 am.  so how does THAT affect the AVERAGE in other words? it looks like muh average now is 8.5 hours of sleep. i knew 7 wasnt enough. on Work Nights i am averaging about 7.5 hours. and then getting 10 to 11 hours on non work nights. so what does it all average out to??? probably about 8.5 to 9 hours. but a few more weeks of Big Data Analytics will help me get a better number. I always needed and sought out a lot of sleep. absolutely more than 8 hours.

dont know who is playing with taake. in UK he played with fen, who i have been meaning to check out, and with winterfylleth on the london show, who are very awesome and i would love if they did a us tour. been liking the UK Atmoblack in 2017 hahahaha. and Fen is right in that scene but havent listened to them. never heard anyone say anything bad about them. they are on muh list when i get bored with winterfylleth which will take a while hahaha. esp since i dont listen to music all the time like i did when i was young. have more important things to concern myself with. music is inherently decadent and soft ahahaha.  real people have to WORK to SURVIVE. you think the great men of history sat around and listened to music for hours each day? they maybe listened to a MINUTE of WAGNER and then went out and conquered the world. made white babies while listening to SKREWDRIVER. listening to music for HOURS every DAY is DEGENERATE and probably means you sm0ke MJ for HOURS every DAY as well.

the only thing you should be doing for HOURS EVERY DAY is WORKING HARD and WINNING.

also WORKING OUT and pumping iron would be acceptable. and spending time with your CHILDREN, helping them to become winners like you.

day off. went to grocery store. got gas. doing 2 loads of laundry. drinking coffee. playing cards. slept 10 hours and 20 minutes last night after taking 2 valiums and 2 benedryl incl 1 benedryl RIGHT before bed.

men and women can SOMETIMES be just friends….but also BE WARNED, that if your female just friend is at ALL YOUNG and ATTRACTIVE, be WARNED that one day just friends could turn into Unrequited Luv at the drop of a hat, and one day you will wake up with it dumped on you like a ton of bricks. prepare for the worst. and tell her that too. listen baby, im not in love with you NOW, but tomorrow i could wake up and be in total luv with you. yeah i know its stupid as fook. just prepare for the worst and i will let you know WHEN it happens so we can end this shit as painlessly as possible, or even better, you could actually try dating me hahahahaha. im better than a negro or an opioid addict. i have very good intentions and i mean you no harm hahahaha. i am just soft and lazy and boring and short hahaha. ive lost a lot of weight though and i luv children! hwyte children! im just terrible at being tough, persuading, leading, selling, making money, being successful, being a man!

there have ALWAYS been pickup artists and seduction gurus and there always will be, because there are two types of men in this world: those that struggle greatly to get any woman and are huge failures with women always, and those that don’t struggle that much and are basically Normies who get GF’s and wives and married and children etc.

guys who can get a gf and guys who cant. guys who know how to Be Around women, and guys who Don’t, and i wonder if those who Dont are simply hopeless, and this is a sign telling them they shouldnt breed. and this is where pickup artists and seduction community and theredpill and Game comes from. these HOPELESS CASES desperately trying to learn. but i dont think it CAN be learned. just accept you were born without What It Takes to Pull Women, and you will never pull women. ever. you were born that way and it cant be changed. the end. dont look at porn because its degenerate. you still can go to hookers, or try to do casual rels with trainwreck sluts on tinder or okcupid. just work on your career and try to make money. start your own business. support your race in ways other than having children of your own. start your own successful business and hire nothing but hwite men who really need a good break in their lives.  give money to weev and anglin hahahaha. dont glorify banging sluts but you could prob still do it privately. maybe be a foster parent to hwite kids only. dont be captain save a ho. don’t save hos, save CHILDREN.

heres whats apparent, when you average our all my sleep, i get an avg of over 8 hours a night. people need 7 to 9 hours. looks like i need closer to 9 hours. NO SURPRISE THERE, i just like seeing the Big Data Science Analytic Empirical Evidence bear that out. had a bit of a 30 minute powernap this afternoon which brought up muh average to about 8:37.

DONT SAVE A HO, SAVE CHILDREN.

Hoes cannot be saved, children sometimes can.

DONT BE A WHITE KNIGHT FOR SOME SLUT, BE A WHITE KNIGHT FOR SOME CHILDREN.

It’s not bad to be a white knight. its a very noble, natural hwite thing to do. it sucks that its got a negative connotation. but for the good reason that unrepentant sluts take advantage of it. so dont use it on them. use it on someone who will actually benefit, and one day be thankful for it: children. not your own of course because you will never have children of your own because that is too much for you to handle and you would be a horrible father hahahahahaha.

no those are negative thoughts. but what if they’re true? i think we concluded that its better to not even think TRUE negative thoughts. maybe if you are a normie, yes then you can handle it. but when you are a weirdo who has ruined your own life with constant negative thoughts, it’s best to not even think realistic, true negative thoughts. ITS BETTER TO DELUDE YOURSELF!!!!!!! literally! honestly! tbhfam!!

8 and a half mfin hours of sleep a night is my average hahaha. and i am not even super active!

this varies between 7 and 11 hours hahahaha depending if i have to get up early or not.

anyway i recommend doing this just to Get To Know your own body better. and especially if like most people, you “catch up” on sleep on your Days off. but you really shouldnt because sleeping in is for lazy losers who will never make something of themselves ahahahaha.

DONT SAVE A HO, SAVE A CHILD.

YOU CANT SAVE A HO. YOU CAN SAVE A CHILD.

hehehehehe. how do you like my nietzschean axioms. aphorisms.

ho = wh0re = slut = skank = thot = n>4 at age 24.

oh well. WHO AM I TO JUDGE. what the hell have i done with MY life. wasted it. just as bad as these THOTS. like them i have no dignity. at least they got some secsual satisfaction out of life hahahaha fooking negros and opioid poppers. tough guys in the trailer park. its not gay for them because straight women love getting pounded by tough guy dick. its as much fun for them as it is for men to pound an attractive woman. well maybe a little less because they get it so often so its not as “expensive” and SCARCE. but they still enjoy it and have more stimulation in the clitoris region and such. nerve endings etc. for men to experience that much pleasure they need to bang an 18 year old 8/10 or above hahahaha or pop some opioids.

i wonder if taake pops opioids since he’s just been rehashing his work post 2005 when he was….28 years old.  and his best work he did between the ages of 22 and 28 hehehehe. and now that he is 39 he is just gonna drink and opioid himself to death and do boring rehashes of his first 3 albums but never reach that level of inspiration hahahahaha. and be very hateful and hate everything and everyone hahahahaha. hey man what are you so hateful about. youve written 3 great albums, you’re a handsome norwegian man, you’re not fat, youve probably pulled some qt gurls, you get nocturno culto and attila to do guest vocals on your albums hahahaha.

wait he did a cover of a CURE song? now that is compelling! that was on an EP semi recently. after his banjo album. he used a banjo on one song and its all anyone can talk about.

anyway. im not the biggest taake fan but this will probably make me a bigger taake fan. i wish it were a band i was more into at the moment, like winterfylleth or saor or iron maiden or…..mgla is awesome and i would totally see them, they did a US tour but no show in the area. if i were a real fan i would have traveled like serious fans do. drive 500 miles to go to a SHOW is what REAL fans do. so im not a real fan. OH WELL. i dont like metal CROWDS anyway. fookin stupid degenerates who are pissing away their whiteness on being drunken and st0ned idiots who care more about degen music than by being winners in life. reminds me of myself. except i was never as TOUGH as the avg metal guy which was at least enough to get them laid with dirty sluts once in a while.  and to not be MEEK and WEAK and anxious, but to be TOUGH and MANLY.

MEEK. TIMID. DONT BE THESE THINGS. BE TOUGH.

yeah i was always MEEK and TIMID. ever since i was a young child. i didnt think it would be such a bad thing. im butthurt it WAS  SUCH a bad thing, since there are people who are even more meek and timid who didnt do as bad at life. i just took an all in gamble at some point without really knowing it, and lost it all hahahaha.

 

WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

mar 12

got up early on a sunday, couldnt sleep, had strange dreams i was trapped in some high rollers gambling competition where i couldnt get out. i also couldnt get in on the “free hookers” that were mingling around. it was like musical chairs and they were always all occupied. if i left the party early, i would either be killed, or i would be tied to the company permanently. i didnt want that, i just wanted to leave.

everyone else was having a great time, gambling and doing coke and opoids and banging hookers and were all wall street types. if you gambled wrong, you would be escorted out and killed. i would rather not gamble at all because it was so confusing. it was like taxes. you had to report the correct amount of winnings or taxes, and if your numbers didnt agree with “the house”, they’d kill you. no one else seemed to be worried. the gambling money was coming from some bigass wall street swindle by the jooish bankers and we were invited to gamble with this money stolen from peoples retirement funds. i didnt care about the gambling, i didnt know how i got invited, i just wanted to wait until it was time to leave, because i couldnt leave early, and maybe enjoy some opioids and hookers to pass the time, but I couldnt get ahold of either, though they seemed freely available to all the happy gamblers. i wandered around and asked an attractive hooker, wanna fook, and she said, only if i get to fook you too, how big does your asshole stretch, implying that she was gonna “peg” me with a brutal dildo hahahaha. i cringed and was like no thank you, not interested, i guess we shant be fooking then, hahahahaha.

lots of interesting symbolism and themes in this dream!

im like, i wouldnt MIND gambling, if i knew this money wasnt some Big White Collar Crime from hard working mericans, which was probably why the stakes were so high, and you were basically signing your life away. couldnt leave, had to stay with this crooked company for life, unless you stayed until the final round of gambling, which didn’t make sense, which made me less confident to try to gamble, because if you made a mistake in your self-reporting you’d be killed too. so i figured, just wait it out until the end of this long night while everyone else has fun, and maybe try to score some of the drugs and hookers that seem to be plentiful. but they werent, for me.

i was like shit i didnt ask for any of this. i’d be perfectly happy with some MJ and a 35 year old hooker and some micro-stakes gambling with my own money. how the hell did i get here.  i didnt sign up for this. this is horrible.

i still have weird jooish fetishes. like i will see a commercial with a woman i think is hawt, then look up the womans name, becuase these are not big name actresses, even if the companies are kinda big. acting in commercials is prob jus tone step up from porn hahaha. or from shitty “direct to dvd” movies or syfy channel movies nobody will ever watch.

so there is this booking.com commercial with this flustered female schoolteacher who cant wait to go to her relaxing mexico vacation. and when she says booking.yeah she looks really hot and i really want to bang the shit out of her hahahahaha.

maybe i like horse faced women, i really think thats it. mousey and horse faced.

heres a less jooish money shot picture

and i wish i were touching her body and plowing her and she was making the horsey o face hnnnngggggg

this is of course contrasted with her very mousey flustered self in the classroom

which is a whole other tangent, that teaching children isnt the wonderful career she thought it would be, which im sure it isn’t, but its also frustrating to see a woman stuck in a shitty career, and also frustrating to see a woman who doesn’t like children.

there are at least 3 different phases of hawtness when she says the one word yeah, which makes me think the woman has a lot of practice in manipulating men with her facial expressions to get them wrapped around her little finger, meaning that she knows many men find her attractive even though she’s 30 AND mousey AND horsey.

lot of things to unpack here hahahahahaha

be sure to read the comments by offended teachers saying this mocks their profession. not surprised to see those. it kinda does. kinda surprised the ad geniuses didnt say, this is really gonna offended teachers. maybe they decided that was a risk worth taking. because this ad will be gone in 1 month anyway and all the teachers will forget they’re boycotting the company.  and other people will find the actress hawt.  i was just trying to find her name so i could find more pictures of her and see if she is hwyte, or jooish.

the commercial was directed by jared hess who did the napoleon dynamite movie hahaha but cant find the name of the actress.

Who Is Sara Bynoe?

ok her name is sara bynoe, a “comedienne” from vancouver BC

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2045120/

she has a masters degree in creative writing hahahahahaha maybe she can become a part time college instructor

well i cant tell if shes a joo but shes definitely a degen with a filthy mouth who has probably taken over 20 cox. this little mousey horsey woman who in a better time would have been a 1-man woman and mother. is now out drinking and slutting it up doing a writing, comedy, and acting career. oh gawd.

there is some other thirsty guy leaving message on her instagram saying she is just so hawt and he had to find out who she was. looks like i have some competition!

she looks like she could possibly be some kind of nonwhite mix. bynoe. wtf kind of name is that.

Bynoe Name Meaning Origin unidentified. It is a well-established name in Barbados, and may be of Irish origin.
Source: Dictionary of American Family Names ©2013, Oxford University Press

barbados? irish? so youre saying she’s half black????

how can you not know if the name is irish or not. i thought the irish were pretty good about that sort of thing. unless they were too busy getting drunk and eating potatoes and having their women bang negros hahahaha.

and the sad thing is, to date a 30 year old woman who’s still attractive you gotta make at LEAST 60k a year. what do you think the average income is of the guys she dates? besides the charming young wannabe actors making under 30k who she has casual secs with hahahaha. might as well just be one of those anyway because this is no longer the type of woman you want to marry. Sad!

and there are already plenty of other guys just like me, who said, you know, that gurl in that commercial is hawt, who is she?

so yeah sara bynoe if u read this and want a REAL man to show you a REAL good time, let me know. by that i mean i will fook you HARD not like a wimpy sissy beta niceguy bitchboi fuccboi. i will tear you in HALF and LEAVE while you are sleeping.

maybe its because she SORTA looks liek That Woman? Both mousey and horsey? yet not stumpy, decent legs, big eyes, big mouth, horsey and mousey? i think this is just my type, not because she reminds me of That Woman. That Woman had better hair and skin anyway. and was probably younger.

horsey and mousey. i guess that kinda looks like the stereotypical female Schoolteacher right? but even a Schoolteacher would be out of my league because that represents a level of Career Success which is WAY above me.

Maybe a Sub making 13 bucks an hour, no bennies, no health care. but very soon these people will be too young for me. i mean you literally can’t be failing at your career FOREVER. you have to move up within like TEN years or else youre DONE. might as well pack it in, GIVE UP, and become an MJ addict hahaha.

she looks worse when she is wearing tons of makeup, but she no doubt thinks this makes her look professional and smart or whatever. nope. shoulda just got married to chad when you were 18 honey.

sad thing is, chad probably dumped her or worse cheated on her, and she’s spent the rest of her life trying to get revenge on him by living The Good Life. thing is, she hasn’t. she’s just become a worse person for it all. drinking, fooking, getting useless degree, being a narcissist F-level wannabe celebrity in vancouver only, probably has at least 2 cats in her apartment and drinks too much but still manages to pull alphaish men at age 30….but not for committed rels.

and to think SHE is OUT OF MUH LEAGUE! in GLR’s american average white men would be able to pull a woman like her, back before she had taken 20 cox and had 20 abortions!

even women that dont look like they would be huge sluts, kinda horsey and mousey, but also kinda qt despite that…….are still huge sluts that have been with 10+ guys hahahaha. like how that number keeps getting lower? well yeah because 10+ guys is still WAY too much!

but its a more REALISTIC number than 20…..which isn’t all that unrealistic either. 10 is even more realistic, but also UNACCEPTABLE. DO BETTER.

right now she would be great to use as a Practice Gurl just so you get comfortable and good at Fooking and at dealing with a womans bullshit, so you can pull a better woman later. but she’s STILL too good for you hahaha. you are not good enough to practice on a practice gurl, except maybe once, where you will prob fall in luv with her and never get over. never get over chad mcnormieton’s practice gurl.

also the fact that this drunk bipolar narcissistic catlady slut is better at Adulting than you, so what does that make you? she’s BETTER than you hahahaha.  you have no place to judge her for being a crazy slut because shes better at LIFE than you. more responsible, harder WORKER, better ADJUSTED.

shit if i had gotten more involved with Theatre I prob could have banged a few sluts like that, had them as practice gurls. but i never went in far enough with theatre to pull the theatre sluts. i guess its just as well because theatre sluts are not great people hahahaha.

i guess the good news is i dont have to go to vancouver to find women like this, they are right in my own town. and i can probably find one who is a 40 year old single mother who still looks bangable, and then bang them. that shouldnt be out of muh league hahahaha.

what the hells wrong with minnesota. you’d think it would be a nice hwyte state but for the past 20 years they have been importing more africans and arabs than just about any other state. stay away from minnesota and just go to montana or idaho instead. or eastern WA hahahahaha.

today i actually thought about well maybe i SHOULD contact that woman. nothing big. just a short message. hey how you doin. fishing basically. reopen the wound and try again after a long time has passed and she has gotten lower in value basically but i’ll never fully get over her hahahaha.

thankfully i decided no thats a horrible idea. but if i were drinking or doing MJ, i might think its a gamble worth taking!

yeah MJ compromises your decision making. logic, reason, etc. yet another reason not to do it. so i say, ok, then i promise not to make any big decisions while using it hahaha.

but when you are using it EVERY DAY…… arent you sort of ALWAYS under the influence of it?

OF COURSHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://archive.org/details/1966PlayboyInterview

1966 playboy interview with commander rockwell and roots/malcolm x biographer alex haley. he had already published TTTW and would be tragically assassinated in 67. he uses The N Word about 6 gorillion times hahahahaha.  thats fine, just wish he used the K word even more. i dont really use the n word all that much and am perfectly fine just saying negros or blacks. unless i am in the ghetto around a bunch of n words, and i try to avoid those situations hahahaha.

looked at adult friend finder to find 35 year old sluts for casual secs in my area. saw a bunch of degen pictures. and unfort you have to PAY to message or view anyones profile. 20 damn bucks a month. i would maybe pay 10 bucks a month. there were what appeared to be a number of bangable 35 to 40 year old sluts in my area. even some under 30s!

there were a lot of swingers/couples. no thanks! i mean yeah maybe ill bang your faithless wife but i dont want any pervert guys watching!

and god forbid any woman who was ever on this site wants to marry a man at any point! that should be on your wife questionairre. have you ever put yourself on an adult themed dating site?

i would go on okcupid but i dont want to see HER. so i can just exclude any women under like 27 hahahaha. but i dont really want to do that. i would totally bang other 27 year olds! shit i remember when she was 22.

i mean i could block her the second i see her. but i dont want to see her even for a SECOND!

ideally she would be so fat, old, and haggard i wouldnt even recognize her!

just remember. your perfect angel, who you want to be the mother of your children, is just a cheap slut practice gurl bending over and showing her asshole to sleazy strangers on adult friend finder.com and has been with over 100 guys easily. and you were FOOLED enough to want to commit your LIFE to THAT trash. how emotionally COMPROMISED can you GET? thats even worse than being on WEEEEED!!!!!!

or plenty of successful people have probably, over their lifetimes, ultimately sm0ked more MJ than YOU did!! and they are just fine!!!!

heh. its possible that women are more naturally suited to Motherhood than Men are Naturally suited to Fatherhood. so its all the worse that they go around showing their assholes on the internet for casual buttsecs with ruffians and opioid addicts and smooth talkin negroes.

maybe i shouldnt have looked at adult friend finder for even the 5 minutes that i did because it made me have a negative view of women as dirty whores!

but i was specifically LOOKING for dirty whores, becuase i’m kinda looking for a PRACTICE GURL to PRACTICE on, because if i found a GOOD woman, i wouldnt be READY for her!

dont get BUTTHURT at the PRACTICE GURLS, just manage your expectations of what they are and what you want from them! you’re not looking for them to be decent women! youre just looking for a little quid pro quo! this is like calculus 1 as a prerequisite for calculus 2.

well i could have just been more DOMINANT and that would have improved the situation, and i dont HAVE to bang practice gurls to become more dominant.

i just wish i had more of a natural urge to BE MASCULINE AND DOMINANT, the way women have a natural feminine urge to be submissive and be dominated by a strong man. why dont i want to be that strong man? well i KIND OF DO!!!!!!

on the extremely rare occasions i feel like a strong, confident man, it feels really GOOD. its not necessarily “DOMINATING” someone. maybe the word “DOMINATING” is a bti confusing. how about Strong, Confident Leader.  i have hardly any experience feeling like that that it feels weird when i feel it, which is hardly ever. like easily less than .000000000001% of the time. but i can safely say i would grow to enjoy that feel.

this weird guy i was acquaintances with last about 14 years ago suddenly emailed me with a weird brief messaging asking if i wanted to Hang Out. it is so weird i am thinking somebody just hacked his email and sent shit out to everybody he had ever sent an email to. people have hacked emails before.

if it is a legit thing, the nonweird thing to do would be to acknowledge the weirdness and try to act normal. but no. he seemed as weird as he ever was. he had a weird fixation on me but i hung out with him because i was lonely and felt beggars couldnt be choosers and it was only fair for me to him to hang out with him if he wanted to see me. this was 14 fookin years ago.

but he was a weird guy. not a BAD guy but i am 100% certain he had SOMETHING: borderline, bipolar, narcissism. He honestly seemed BORDERLINE!!! possib the only male i’ve ever know with it.  he’s not a bad guy, but he needed a shrink and meds even more than I did. Last I heard he got a bigboy job but found it unfulfilling and was drinking too much. this was many years ago. at least he was able to get a bigboy job. more than i ever could do.  i mean he was no dummy. he was smart, but possib more unhinged and weird that I am. whatever this kid has, its COMPLICATED. my shit is very simple by comparison.

so i quickly deleted the email. but then i thought, HOLY SHIT, what if this is how THAT WOMAN viewed MY attempts to communicate with her, and she viewed me as weird and crazy like i view this guy??!?!?!?!?!?!? I would HATE to be seen like that.

even though I dont hate the guy. I just want him to live his own life and get some damn professional help which i am not willing to give hahaha.

but want to think that we had a much more Two-Way Rel with me and that woman than I did with him, where he had more interest in me than I had in him. Indeed, it could have even been a latent homosexual thing on his part.

but i realy want to think that the rel i had with that woman was more natural and two-sided and mutual and HEALTHY and good than the weird “friendship” i had with him. i guess he wanted to be my friend but i didnt really want to be his friend.

maybe That Woman was my Karmic Payback of how I rejected HIM hahahahaha.

but i didnt really Throw Him Away. also i hate to think i was as weird to her as he was to me. i mean this guy was always pretty weird. he’s not a horrible person but just so goddamn weird. and i didnt want to be THAT weird to ANYBODY. especially HER.

my rational mind says, youre right, this is apples and oranges, it was a totally different situation, and no she didnt view you like you view HIM, or even if she did, at least I’m confident that i wasn’t THAT Weird.

so….we’ll conclude with that and i will get back to my poker and nazi book hahahaha.  and hope this was just a hack/spam.

i mean if not then he hasnt become any less weird in the past 14 years. i mean shit at least i have gotten better at presenting myself to others, playing close to the vest so to speak, figuring out how to seem at least somewhat normie.

my diagnosis for him would be bipolar, possibly borderline, possibly bits of schizophrenia even. i should be thankful i’m not that fooked up. but he can manage to Adult and get GF’s and stuff. but he would also be just as liable to throw all that away in some kind of psychotic break. it did not seem like garden variety anxiety and despair with him, like it was with me. yeah we are both nuts but in totally diff ways.

but yeah i dont want that woman to think i am a pitiful weirdo like that. id much rather she felt bad about her own immaturity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_L._K._Smith

GLR said this guy was the greatest speaker he ever heard

https://archive.org/details/meinkampf035176mbp

reading MK by AH changed GLR’s life, maybe I should finally read it too hahaha

the type of book that you cant stop reading, that when you finish it, you turn right back to the first page and read it again. i have never done this with a book. wont even do it with GLR’s book, and it is a topkek book.

GLR is transferred to iceland where he suggests that secs is very easy to get and the women are promiscuous as shit. so why did he fall for that icelandic woman. i mean really neet virgins should just go to iceland for easy secs with young whyte qt’s. what does he really think about their promiscuity tho? what would AH think?!?!?!?!

http://www.heretical.com/pubs/fabledh.html

i forgot GLR did the fable of the ducks and the hens, which i confuse with the fable of the scorpion and the frog hahaha

ok he did think they went too far: quote ” The whole atmosphere at Keflavik International Airport was evil and unwholesome, depressing and disgusting. I reacted by almost total asceticism. There was no half-way about it, as could be seen all around me. I refused to touch a drop of liquor. I went to only those parties which my position in the squadron demanded. I ran over a mile a day and exercised to keep in condition and I devoted myself wholly to study, thinking and writing.  ”

he ran A MILE A DAY hahahahahahaha to keep in shape. that is hilarious. now when most “runners” pride themselves in running like a damn marathon a day.

also his wife was bitchy to him and essentially dumped him, and he was heartbroken. he did not CHEAT on her with the icelandic woman. i dont know how big of a slut she was. also GLR officially condemns no-fault divorce, as he should, as any hwyte person should. i just wish he called them out on their jooish behavior not befitting hwyte men and women.

also he said that good liquor was very cheap. i thought everthing was super expensive in iceland. well i mean i am sure things have changed since 1951. but iceland is always an interesting country.

about 40% done with the book so far. seems like his icelandic wife is much better than his american wife, who he pitied for not being able to enjoy being a full woman. then his icelandic wife got very jealous whenever he said a tiny sympathetic thing like that about his ex-wife. he had 3 kids with his ex-wife and i think he had 3 kids with his icelandic wife. what happened to these children and their children?

also she was ok with him being pro-hwyte and anti-jooish. he was still a career military man but had been redpilled on the Jaycue by me1n struggle hehehe.

his first wife demanded $400 a month in alimony. in 1953. holy shit. and he didnt even bitter hate her. i would have for that! that would turn any man into a woman hater! but not GLR. he just pitied her.

the icelandic woman is still alive right now and like 88 years old hehehe.

commander rockwell, what a great man.

you shouldnt expect most people to understand the JQ. i would like if more people shunned J filth when they saw it though, just realized it it was BAD, not necess bc it was J’ish. they seize on bad things bc they know they can use it as weapons against the g0yim. make bad things look attractive: vidya, porn, drugs, try it, its fun and harmless, g0y. you’ll love it and its not bad for you. even though its worse than smoking.

mar 13

just waiting around to go to shrink and today i had decent epiphany:

WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

which, let me MANSPLAIN. a lot to unpack there. sure weve all heard this advice before. it doesnt matter what other people think about you. dont worry about it. who cares. it doesnt matter.

but thats WAY easier said than done, because in some cases, it really really really DOES matter!!!!

you are invested, connected, and attached to a person, and you care ALOT about what they think about you, and you HOPE that THEY care what YOU think about THEM!

you can see what im getting at here.

I really cared what That Woman thought about me. i didnt want her to think i was an awful horrible person. because then i might just BE a horrible person. her view of me mattered a lot to me because well thats what luv is, ya moron. you want them to think good of you. not bad.

and now im like, wait, doesn’t SHE care what I might think about HER? doesnt SHE care that I might hate her, or just be confused, and wouldnt that motivate her to try to clarify things for me?

similar to how i Reached out to Clarify how I thought she should think about me, i wanted her to reach out to me to clarify how she thought I should think about HER. doesn’t she CARE about that?

well no, because what i think no longer matters to her. and that hurts. my opinion USED to matter.

and now i have nothign but my own experience and memory to convince myself it wasnt a FANTASY, that there was something REAL. unlike me and my weird male stalker hahahaha. in his mind there was something special between us, but in my mind….i just wanted to avoid him hahaha. and is that how it was with me and HER???? GOD I HOPE NOT! i mean i really hope the that nice friendship we had before everything went wrong, was more REAL than the always-awkward thing I had with that guy.

welp discussed that with the shrink and yeah i mean i actually talked like a somewhat well adjusted normie. that yeah i am pretty much over That Woman but it did always bother me that there wasnt even the effort of any closure, but basically i wanted proof that i had a better “connection” with that woman than I did with that disturbed man who I now have pity for. he thinks me and him had some great connection, well we didnt. i think me and her had some great connection, well we didnt. WRONG. for a good long while, we DID have a pretty good connection. And I was very heartbroken by how she crapped on THAT. dont tell me this was worth NOTHING to you.

shit im sure it WAS worth somethign to her. but this is how people act when its fight or flight and they flee. its the pain of abandonment and avoiding. it’s well documented in the literature hahahaha. not even joo literature. but trusted hwyte philosophers like kierkegaard and plato say damn son that shit SUCKS.

ok. what, for example, did aristotle, plato, or socrates, or kierkegaard, or nietzsche, or schopenhauer, or heidegger, or will durant say about The Heartbreak of Abandonment? give me some quotes.

so i was able to convince myself that She Thought it all wasn’t just a fantasy in my mind. more or less.

if i were a WOMAN i would have fooked 5 guys and had 5 shitty relshits during this time. that is SO unfair to those poor schmucks. that she is just going through a fake charade with you while she is hung up on someone else! i have never and will never do that to another person! this is why you dont jump from one person to another! it doesnt work that way! and so I resent women for doing that. cant you see how unfair and wrong this is for the guy???? how many other guys hearts did she break during this time? 3? 4? 5? how can you cause so much pain? or maybe they caused her pain. it doesnt matter because shes out of my life. but this is what happens when you are in LUV and they DISAPPEAR. you CAN get SOME kind of CLOSURE thats better than this.

oh well. life goes on. but how come she cant send me an email out of the blue? i would totally get back together with her hahahahaha. then i guess im not over her. well, i said i was only 88% over her. i get “not wanting them back” only comes at 100% and not a second earlier.

maybe it was all a sign from GOD to turn me into a full-blown NATZEE! Like how GLR donned the svastica and declared, I am a full blown NATZEE and I dedicate muh life to AH, the greatest man of the past 2000 years!

i mean i’m seeing that AH is a bretty gud guy. and Really you don’t become a VVN “ally” without become a VVN “sympathizer” and essentially a full blown 1433 vvn.

for a few years i was like, yeah i dont identify as a vvn, but I AM open to their ideas, i don’t think there’s anything really unreasonable about these ideas, we should give this some space, it’s serious and valid and legit.

later I realized that by you acknowledging that, you are pretty much a full blown natzee anyway. if you dont think these ideas are horrible and evil and despicable, you’re a nazi.

so you might as well do what the blacks do, reclaiming the term MUH N199A, and we can reclaim the term MUH NATZEE hahahahaha.

and start proudly displaying the svastica publicly. very simple. get some armbands, buttons, bumper stickers, flags, put it on your computer desktop, put a picture of AH next to a picture of your family at work HAHAHAHAHAHA. that’s all you gotta do! no big deal.

why didn’t GLR’s first wife give him a break and say i don’t need any alimony from you because im a stronk independent woman? how much of the alimony was going strictly to CHILD SUPPORT? he did have 3 kids with her and hasnt talked about them much. shit he’s up to 5 kids now and hasnt talked about them much. maybe he was a horrible father hahahaha.

” But Thora had the faith of a saint. Even when I would get discouraged
and felt almost sure my gigantic struggle would come to naught, my brave little wife would put her arms around me, look me in the eyes, tell me how she believed in me and trusted me, and I would fairly burst with new drive and determination. She knew the age-old secret of women: how to inspire and fill a man with power he could never have alone, just by laying a gentle, warm hand on his check and letting him feel her faith flowing outward. How I loved her! I can never repay her loyalty and devotion. ” from chapter 9 or 10. GLR would get discouraged during the lean times and his wife would give him encouragement. BEAUTIFUL.

a lesser woman would have LEFT HIM IN THE LURCH and indeed his first wife did. shit he was entitled to be HATEFUL of her but he never was. That Bitch!

spencer tracy looks kinda like tom waits. or vice versa. i am the first person in the history of the world to notice this hahahahaha. therefore mr waits should invite me to hang out with him so i can convince him to stay away from n3gr0 and j00 music and get back to his more huhwhyte sounding music. he is a huhwhyte guy who can make jooish music sound less jooish hahahaha. i will not poo poo TW and his music. but he does have obvious nonhwyte influences and i dont believe he’ll ever be racially aware. believe me i would be thrilled if he were! some big scandal uncovers a secret natzi shrine at TW’s house hahahaha. this is all speculation, i’m not saying anything libelous.

actually, 90% of TW’s music is either black or jooish. this is a bit worrying. i really dont want to think about this too much right now.  i mean leonard cohen RIP was a total joo and i will always be a fan of his music.

irrelevant. on a tangent here. well no. because this is what joos do: they take good things and they SUBVERT and PERVERT and RUIN them. but not always. for example i dont think LC or TW are perverting or subverting anything. TW maybe. but i dont think he did it in bad faith jooish way. he was just being creative and eclectic. he married a hwyte woman and had hwyte children. he should have had more.

also i liked at least 3 or 4 of the coen brothers movies hahaha. still do. prob always will. (lebowski, raising arizona, millers crossing, and leave a space for one more. no country was OK but overrated. I saw part of a “a serious man” and it looked pretty good tho.) not gonna dump them like i did woody allen.

what about the marx brothers? charlie chaplin? old skool jooish comedians in the catskills and the borscht belt? does this even really matter anymore if henny youngman or joo jack benny had some good clean jokes that even a goy can enjoy without guilt?

charlie chaplin was a confirmed full blown commie kyke. a жид. GLR knew this and still enjoyed some of his comedy. doesnt make GLR a sellout or a hypocrite. i mean they still should all go in the oven because the costs outweigh the benefits and always will.

would you rather have a few funny marx brothers movies…….

…….OR A WORLD WHERE COMMUNISM NEVER EXISTED????????

shit yeah its important and relevant. its why all the women you know are such trifling, stupid, destructive sluts hahahaha.

but honestly NONE of the women I ACTUALLY know are destructive sluts. thats the fictional fantasy nightmare woman again!

also, my virulent hatred of women makes my totally reasonable, healthy hatred of DER EWIGE JUDE seem unhealthy hahahaha. hey im in a woman hating PHASE rght now. its actually subsided a bit. i did used to be a mgtow remember! and im getting better! i used to be a mgtow too until i became a full blooded NATZEE hahahaha. big improvement.

no william h macy did not DIE today, i guess thats a hoax. its actually his BIRTHDAY hahahaha.

he seems hwyte. i would hope my joodar is not wrong on him. lets find out hehehe. welp the jooish foward says he is not a J. i generally beleive joo sources when they say somebody is not jooish hahahaha.

GLR was a very good people person and was not afraid to go out and have Tuff Conversations with people every damn day.  well he did not kiss ass and lie to make you like him. he would tell you the hard truth. i know I would have gotten along with him well. i might not have enjoyed hearing the hard truth from him, having a man I admire telling me i am a huge soft loser…..but maybe he would be nicer to me because i knew the hard truth about the JQ that he did. and see that i would probably do well with a good leader hahaha.

i mean a man can be a leader and a follower at different times of his life. being a follower isnt INHERENTLY bad, the way being a slut and going thru a slut phase is. in fact, being a follower for a while might help you be a better leader later. but i will grant that the ideal man is a leader not a follower, and that leadership is one of the best, most masculine traits. but following is not inherently, always bad, the way being a damn cant keep your legs closed SLUT is.

but you know what you should hate even more than SLUTS? focus your disdain on the semi-organized effort by a certain group of people to turn our women into sluts. this helps them because it hurts us.

you might think hwytes don’t have any real enemies………..then you would be blue pilled AF, hahahahahaha.

pretty soon ill be going down to get the svastica tattoo on muh chest hahahahaha. only semi kidding, i hate tattoos and would never get one. but that would be a contender hehehehe.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WELL MEMED, MUH LAD!!!!!!

wish the dinner table scenes of that movie really set the tone for the entire movie hehehehe.

call me soft but theres no real NEED for the curbstomp. he could have just had a legally owned pistol, been like get the fook out of here boy, the negro could have charged at him like a wild animal, and then ed norton shot him with the pistol. the curbstomp is there to make him look like a SADISTIC MONSTER. well of COURSHE he is, hes a NATSEE, that is SYNONYMOUS with sadistic monster! same with ralph fiennes in schindlers list.

apparently leni riefenstahl recanted her pro-AH beliefs?? or somehow went soft on them. how soft? i mean if she was still pro-hwyte and anti-J that’s prob fine right? was hearing more about this woman hannah reitsch was a woman pilot and apparently a very pure and admirable woman and we should read her book.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanna_Reitsch

yes i know wikipedia hahaha

after the war: ” Evacuated from Silesia ahead of the Soviet troops, Reitsch’s family took refuge in Salzburg.[3]:202 Hearing a rumour that all refugees were to be taken back to their original homes in the Soviet occupation zone, Reitsch’s father shot and killed her mother and sister[3]:215 and her sister’s three children before killing himself on the night of 3 May.[12] ”

GOOD LORD

what i dont understand is why some people were tried and convicted at nuremberg but some people like reitsch and skorzeny lived in freedom til like 1980.

not sure if reitsch ever wrote a book. described as “naive politically.” hehehehe. how can a prominent natzee be naive politically hahahahaha.

mar 14

this stuff makes muh blood boil, one of the most triggering things evar next to slutty women. is joo york slimes articles advising anxious hwyte parents how not to raise racist children. its your duty to teach 3 year olds about hwyte privilege and institutional racism and to hate their race. i hate this shit. its joos saying yes you should brainwash your kids. its fooking CHILD ABUSE and a bunch of hwyte swpl prefessionals actually worry about this. not oh my kind might be a neet or a loser or a  pvssy, but that he might be a RACIST, so we need to actively stop this, and show him how he was born with the unfair advantage of being hwyte.

http://archive.is/mcjRJ

hmm cant believe there is nothing on daily stormer or TRS on this article

but yeah. white kids have a responsibility to learn about their hewyte privilege from a very tender age, you as a racially sensitive middle class jyslimes reader had the responsibility to teach them to be ashamed of the white race, the EBIL NATZEES of the human race. hwyte = nazi = sadistic, genocidal, oppressive monsters.

chapter 9 GLR

he says the rights main problem is not money or people, its cowardice. that enough people already know the truth, but they are too scared to stand up and fight and act, and are too worried about being NICE, when the left is not nice, and will not be defeated by niceness.

apparently the right wing cowards GLR met would talk privately with him about YOU KNOW WHO, but we too scared to sacrifice their security and comfort.

yeah well i think its a lot worse now, that people DONT know this red pill JQ truth, and that the right will call you a racist and tinfoil hat conspiracy nutter if you even mention the JQ. better yet, J’s are hwyte and our allies.

all talk and no action. well trumpenfuhrer seems like the most positive ACTION the right has seen in many peoples LIFETIMES.

oh hes not a rightist, he’s a populist. well id argue that the good kind of populism is inherently right wing.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mein-kampf-adolf-hitler/1125132928?ean=9781684185979&st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Core+Shopping+Books_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP62465

get the stalag edition hahahaha i am this close to dropping the 20 bucks hehe

terrible cover art tho

tuesday afternoon benedryl

heh. the way i feel about women and joos is the way the j media wants everyone to feel about hwytes! now i know this feel about women is a fictional woman in my head only. the j’s however, really are that bad. that’s no fiction. that is a sad disgusting reality that they have and are perverting everything good in the world.

they make hwytes look like sadistic monsters aka natsees becuase they’re projecting what they are themselves – sadistic, perverted monsters! spawn of satan!

i want MJ wah wah wah! i want that woman wah wah wah! all women are sluts! joos are genociding hwytes! wah wah wah! bitch bitch bitch hahahaha. cyka cyka cyka.

saw a 40 year old woman manager type with a masters degree today who wasnt super hot or anything but she was hwyte and not fat and was still bangable and was probably quite bangable in her youth. i wanted to bang her anyway. i guess now i am getting into the milfs since i dont see 20 year old gurls every day. if i did i would be staring at them like mad i can assure you. more than the 40 year olds. because 20 year old gurls are way more than twice as hawt as 40 year old women.

maybe i should marry a 40 year old divorced mother with like 10 year old children hahahaha.

 

 

 

 

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?

dec 3

https://www.youtube dot com/watch?v=C2hOJR0hIBY

this “woman” looks like a man, and should not be wearing something so unflattering, and looks part nonwhite, BUT she is appearing on redice, who are Legit Vetted Good Goys and worthy of support, talking about the evils and degeneracy of Jooish Pornography, so thats pretty cool. i just saw this, have not listened yet.

but with a great name like “PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY” I got a DOUBLE BONER and downloaded it IMMEDIATELY for listening very soon on a powerwalk! they just should not have put “her” wearing that in the thumbnail. jeez she is so ugly in that picture it undermines all of our credibility hahahahaha. still anything about PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY HAS to be a good talk, good lesson, good message.

 

really you should listen to the three hour mix three times a day hahahahahahaha

when we were young, once in a great while we would find a song that was so mind blowingly awesome that we made a “mix cd” of that one song on repeat for 74 minutes.  this one would definitely qualify! although I was not aware of it at that time unfort. Oh I knew about the movie but had no interest in it and had no knowledge of the music.

here is one of those songs hehehe. for some reason we gravitated to ridiculous 80s style “cock rock.”

i am shilling for red ice today. now i dont like how this guest woman dresses like a HOOKER with the eye makeup and earrings and showing the tits, but uh i will try to listen to this one as well. but yeah even though henrik and lana are All Right, sometimes they do have weirdass guests who are jooish or antiwhite hahahaha so just because somebody is ON red ice doesnt mean they are automatically good.

but yeah what red ice is doing, creating their own alt right, pro white media platform/network, is exactly what whites need to do. create a white, joo-free media. our own news, our own tv and radio, and of course podcasts are a great part of this, and its already happening, THANK GOD.

yeah i know red ice did weird alex jones conspiracy shit years ago, but i forgive them hahahaha.

henrik and lana just need to have 3+ children and hire some white men to do red ice.

i would become a sustaining member of red ice but their prices are too damn high hahahahaha.

65 euros a YEAR?  that is like 66 dollars a year. i would maybe do 20.

i mean they DESERVE it, i just cant/dont want to dnate that much!

i mean its more for ME than THEM, so i can FEEL GOOD about myself, and really i need all of THAT i can get!

there is this catholic church sorta near me that is geared towards polish people, and i hear that polish catholics are some of the most hardcore Based Catholics hahahaha. they are proud of their polish blood and dont have open arms for a bunch of screaming asians and mestizos and browns and arabs which you see in many cath churches. plus i have some polish blood and love poles. love them. would love a nice polish gurl for a qt 3.1488 waifu. poland is definitely a top tier european country.

problem is this place doesnt just have one polish mass a week, they have nothing BUT polish mass and EVERYTHING is in polish, church website, church bulletin/newsletter.

actually this is not a problem at all, this is a fookin BENEFIT. cuz it means they are traditional and old school as fook.

so i could just go there and be like

¯\_ツ_/¯   ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯       ¯\_ツ_/¯      ¯\_ツ_/¯

and say dzien dobry, jak sie maz (????), sto lat, dzienkuje, boze dobry, boze dobrze rzarzarzarza, ja nie movi polakiu, and then they would say oh look hes trying, how nice, then they could hook me up with their 19 year old virgin daughter who could teach me polakiu hahahaha and i could put babies in her for 14k a year hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit those women are TOO GOOD for me!

乁(⏓ ͜つ⏓)ㄏ

2016-12-03-20_36_03-cardamom-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13464295

this fookin guy makes a huge raise when he flops a pair of 8s. glad i agressively went all in instead of thinking he had AA and folding! or 88 or 66 or 22 hehehe.

no thats not 7 dollars and 45 cents, thats .00745 btc, which is…. 5 dollars and 71 cents. YIKES. well the price of BTC has gone up pretty steadily since i started playing this shit like 2 years ago.

so yeah if i had any BALLS like a REAL MAN i would have gone to this polish church 11 fookin years ago!!!!!!!

fooking reddit relships and their different secs BEST FRIENDS. you shouldnt have a BEST FRIEND who is the opposite sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and IM the weirdo and sexist and hateful racist violent trump supporter for thinking this!!!!!!!

or IM weird because i think open relationships are shitty and bad. im being too judgmental and intolerant of peoples valid choice.

well to be fair, reddit says that MOST people

dec 4

 

i am gradually warming up to emily youcis. normally i am very very very very suspicious of women in the movement, but she doesnt seem TOO bad. plus i immediately get more sympathy for the women once they LOSE something like their job or their freedumz. and so she was recently fired by k1ke company aramark (i applied for office clerk job there, no response hahaha) after working for 7 years selling pistachios at the baseball stadium. fired for “social media” reasons.

yeah i mean maybe this was part of her plan and she’s prob not gonna go homeless or sucking dick for a place to stay (not that most women dont already do that anyway hahahahahahahahahaha)

anyway. so i am always judging women for being hookers and sluts and wh0res and promiscuous and degenerate, but in the end, do those things really impact me directly? why do i hate sluts so much? that woman wasn’t a slut! she hurt me through ways that did not involve sluttiness AT ALL!

yeah well in the PAST ive def been hurt by women who were into the slutty casual sex mindframe. also i just find it very distasteful and immoral and degen and a sign of the cultural and spiritual degen which we must fix in our people. and yes it represents something i WANT but cant seem to get, which is given away so freely to Everyone Else but I am fundamentally broken and unable to obtain.

and also i am judgmental against the things that that woman DID do, like avoiding shit like a coward, i dont like that either hahaha.

ok well here’s a good point: at least i never really became a beta orbiter friendzone!!! or if i did, it ended pretty damn quickly!

it kind of proves that i basically will not LET MYSELF become a pathetic supplicating beta orbiter. i eventually have to rip the bandaid off and be like, here’s the obvious truth which i can’t believe you’re not seeing. I CANT GO ON THIS WAY hahahaha.

going to church on sunday today instead of saturday. going to church that is probably better than the one i usu go to. less cucky and marxist and antitrvmp and leftwing. less cucking for DIVERSITY and UNITY and VIBRANCY and all that shit. shit no wonder that church is full of weird asians and this other church seems to have more whites. shit why dont i just go to this other church regularly. or go to that damn polish church. IT DOESNT MATTER that i dont speak polish. i could learn and besides them speaking polish is a YUGGGGGGGGGGGE value add!!!!!!! its a GREAT thing!

yep starting new 13k job tomorrow. kind of a big deal. nervous. dont want to screw it up. dont want to look like a WEIRD IDIOT. just want to do a good job. not just a good job, but a GREAT job and really impress everyone.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit i should have been getting BOOKS related to my NEW FIELD the instant i knew i was hired, and devouring those books to get a good frame of reference, big picture view, maybe some small picture view too, reading the books The Director reads for his PhD, which is of course related to his masters degree and what he does now, The Department, what books are most relevant to this job and this department, thought leaders, bla bla. i quickly bought a book right now so that i could say i at least placed my order for the book before i started the job hahahaha but why i didnt do this 2 weeks ago so i could have had the books and started reading them by now…….hmm maybe i am not serious about making 13k a year with no benefits, maybe WALMART would be a better fit with my career skills.

dumped because he couldnt read the gurls stupid mind. i GUESS shes ENTITLED to dump him for whatever stupid reason she wants, but when the reason is THAT stupid, just candy coat it and dont GIVE an exact reason. i mean thats just a BAD REASON. just say I’m not compatible with you. it’s not you its me. that would be better than saying some stupid ass shit like that.

hehe i made the mistake of initially assuming the “best friend” OP of the gurl was another gurl. hehehe. sounds like he is deeply in luv with her and is in complete denial. but not looking at that, she still should not be Ghosting her friends.

i mean this guy is cringey and beta orbiter AF, and theres a very important lesson to learn there, but she still shouldnt be Ghosting him like a coward, throwing away 3 years of friendship, and getting her new bf to laugh at him and call him pathetic (which he is.)

dont be like this pvssy phaggot. but at least he is getting a CS degree so he might be making 30k a year by age 22. that is a pretty good move.  i mean its still risky because i worked with CS grads doing the exact same phone bullshit as me.

bonus points for OP having mad anxiety and panic attacks that feel like heart attacks and he is so confused hhahaha.

better when you are 21 than 31!

then reddit shreds this kid for being a sexist, creepy niceguy, which he kind of IS, but this ISNT the way to deal with that. you have to show some sympathy for these poor sad bastards. theyre not the bad horrible people you think they are !!!!!!!!

he doesnt need to “RESPECT” her wishes because they’re not respectable. just use the word ACCEPT. ACCEPT her stupid, unrespectable wishes, and let her get fooked by chad. the end.

grieve and have legitimate suffering because your friend of 3 years didnt give a DAMN about you as a human being. i feel your pain man. that sucks. this is the sympathy he’s not getting ANY of and he should.

anyway. i wish you COULD be Just Friends with a woman before Dating and Fooking and Relshiping them, because unless I am Friends with a Woman, i really just dont LIKE them. the way they approach Relships is degenerate and infuriating. I just dont like it. rustles the shit out of me.

I wish you COULD get to know a woman as a friend, be like this is a really good person and i like them, maybe I can try a deeper rel with them, i think they would make a decent GF or wife. i wonder if she will be willing to try that.

NOPE. NEVER WILL. thats what the friendzone is hahahaha. if you dont fook her like a n1993r within 2 days of meeting her, you dont have a chance with making her your GF or wife.

i just hate how the J’s are dumbing us down and jooing us down and morally corrupting us all down into n1993rs.

If you don’t like the word n1993rs, just call em animals. they are turning us all into filthy, dumb, dirty, disgusting ANIMALS.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

anyway yeah this reddit niceguy hate is just way out of line. niceguys arent THAT bad. have some damn SYMPATHY for them. save some of that judgment for the women, who in many cases are being huge bitches to the niceguys.

but yeah this guy needs to stay away from this gurl, and there needs to be more blame directed at HER.

when you are begging and bribing somebody to hang out with you. it IS pathetic tho! but its SAD. he doesnt even REALIZE hes in LUV with her. at least I REALIZED that. and i STOPPED contacting her eventually. let her run off and fook animals.

and yeah it would help that guy to go to a shrink, but good lord dont tell him you are SUPER FOOKED UP and must see a shrink NOW if you have any chance of not being a horrible person. they hate these nice guys almost as much as they hate TRVMP or WHITE PEOPLE.

i was thinking in an ideal world, i would just get a dr to prescribe me Medical MJ for Despair and Anxiety, just like getting an RX for Citalopram and Valium. Which I have already gotten RX’s for.

so in an ideal world, despair and anxiety would be legal medical Qualified Conditions for MMJ.  but they arent.

anyway i was thinking, go to semi shady MMJ doctor and be like listen, so i dont have cancer or back pain like most of the people, but i dont want to bullshit you and say i have CARPAL TUNNEL pain when i really dont, but here’s something I REALLY DO HAVE, and have taken RX’s for YEARS to PROVE it, i know they arent TECHNICALLY conditions, but…..hey i’ll buy ya dinner right now, you’re pretty hungry from writing recommendations all day arent ya goy? bubby?

the thing is, i could say that my TREATMENT for OTHER CONDITIONS causes SPASMS, and then i could get MMJ for that. yeah but it doesnt. but i think citalopram causes spasms for some people hahahahaha.

basically the TREATMENT for something Unqualifying, gives me a Backdoor into Qualifying.

but not really, because this treatment doesnt cause spasms or severe pain!

https://www.reddit.com/r/altright/comments/5e7rbu/emily_youcis_animator_of_alfred_alfer_ama/

meh i guess i will approve of emily, she seems to be sincere. hope her animation bcomes less degenerate and she seems to be aware that by joining the alt right and becoming pro white, you kinda HAVE to hold yourself to a higher moral standard and actively purge the degeneracy from your own life.

but she’s only been into this for less than 6 months! i have been into this for like 6 years!!!!!!!

heh i dont really care as long as she is sincere and doesnt stop being pro white. she talks about losing friends and such and purging people. this is good.  purge the dead weight and bad influences from your life. Traditional Morality will alienate you from degenerate animalistic losers. you dont want them to be your friends anyway.

fine i will HUHWHYTE KNIGHT for emily even though shes probably taken MILES AND MILES of dick, prob even nonwhite (no real proof.) but i am willing to forgive, if there is TRUE repentance.

well i dont really like these super big bewbs gurls plus she will probably start to get very potato looking when she gets older. but at age 26 right now she is pretty qt, would hang out with hahahahahahahaha.

i mean better late than never amirite. im no saint myself. you know what they say, all saints have a past and all sinners have a future!

i went to this other church this morning and it was 100000000000000 times better than the one i usually go to. not only was it less boring and faster, there were a lot more whites, some qt young white women as well! i mean i already KNEW this for at LEAST a YEAR!!!!!

like the priest at my regular church, nice guy, good guy, but a pathetic cuck shitlib who is soooo shocked at the hate and racism and intolerance of the whitelash, and desperately wants to overcompensate and Reach Out to Mudslims to show them Not All White Christians are hateful rednecks.

whereas at the other church, no mention of this stuff, just a bunch of happy white people, including many under-40’s.

all the whites at my usual church are well over 40 hehehehe. plenty of nonwhites.

shit. starting NEW JOB tomorrow. have been doing laundry. planning on bringing 1 dozen donuts tom morning. ask people about their families. ask about what are good books for me to read about this field. i am already reading bla bla by bla bla. here’s some donuts. do you guys drink coffee? i can bring in some folgers, i have some extra folgers at home. sorry its not top shelf, but i can bring in a little top shelf closer to xmas. heres some donuts in the meantime. how many kids u got. where are they going to college? tell me about your graduate program. what do you think about the 14 words hahahaha. so how about that election hahahahaha.

can i take a tough phone call right now? what are the toughest problems you get in here from your “customers”? whats the best way to bullshit them and give them the runaround and say it cant be fixed, it is what it is, you dont have to like it hahahahaha jk i know we go above and beyond for our clients wink wink nudge nudge amirite?

besides, everybody knows that when “it is what it is” just wont cut it, you have to bring out it is what it IS what it is what it is. then that fixes everything. that explains everything. that gets angry people to say OH NOW I GET IT, im so sorry for being such a huge bitch. now that i realise that it is what it IS what it is!!!!! see before, i was thinking it IS what it is.

mother fooking phaggot cvntz hahahaha.

i was thinking i dont DESERVE a woman Without A Past, because IIIIII have a past myself!!!!!!!!!!!

ok fine, but i DO insist the woman is TRULY REPENTANT of her degenerate past! says I am ashamed of my past, i never want to have another abortion, or fook another nonwhite, or have any more casual sex!!!!!! its disgusting and here’s why! I REGRET doing all that.

rather than someone that says oh that makes me who i am, i’m not ashamed, i have no regrets.

GOOD PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS.

shit I have tons of regrets, tons of shame, tons of remorse and repentance for all the degenerate animal shit IVE done. so I DO want THAT much from muh formerly degenerate waifu hahahaha.

if you dont have regrets, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU hehehehe.

the bad shit youve done SHOULD be regretted.

muh dbt book says to try not to be judgmental. notice all the times you make a judgment throughout the day, bad OR good, and just let them float away like leaves on a stream.  just observe stuff mindfully and without judgment.

this struck me as kinda weird. i can see trying to stop your bad judgments, but the good ones too?

i mean i make 148800000000000000000000000000000000000000000 negative judgments a day. every damn person i see i judge them. i was sitting in church watching the nice white people coming back from communion and i was judging each and every one of them harshy: fatty. f4ggot. dirty dago. ugly. fat slob. pig. dog. disgusting animal. sissy. nice haircut phaggot. nice manbun phaggot. nice potato shaped body. your kids are brats. your wife is a slut. you have dyed hair, you must be a slut. how many cox you take. how many black guys. how many abortions. wow, fat AND a smoker, youre in great health, you no self discipline weakling.

i mean its truly ridiculous how many negative judgments i make about people, many many many times a day. so YEAH i AGREE, trying to be conscious of that and not doing that would be a GREAT step for me.

really i am nowhere NEAR as HATEFUL and judgmental when i am with actual real people. i always think the best of them.

but from a distance, when i am alone just thinking of people in the abstract, or people watching people from a distance, god damn, its a hugeass hatefest!!!!!!

no not violent hate, but still very bitter butthurt negative pessimistic cynical recrimination!

and WHAT DOES IT GET ME?

HOW DO I BENEFIT?

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?????

NOTHING!

at a more moderate level, it would have been a natural response to people who have hurt me in the past with slutty or immature or fat or ugly or irresponsible behavior.

but the healthy way for me to do that is to say, ok, here are some red flags to watch out for, but im not gonna look for those red flags in EVERYBODY, and im sure not gonna get MAD about it if they havent done anything to ME.

but yeah. its like my automatic reaction to seeing a person, is to have a NEGATIVE JUDGMENT about them. this is not good!

fat, ugly, slut, phaggot, degenerate. usually one of those. douchebag, asshole, bitch, weirdo, autist, spazz, moron.

i cant stop judging people hahahahaha.

STILL, i INSIST that its worse for women to go out there and let themselves be used as pieces of sex meat, that it is for pathetic omega virgins to jerk off to jooish porn. because in one you have essentially two people hurting each other, in the other, you have one loser hurting himself.

but dont get me wrong, porn is horrible and i am ASHAMED and REGRETFUL that i ever looked at it. well, that i looked at it so MUCH.

and tbh, i was only a little above average i think for American Men Of My Generation. Many men are much, much worse. i was nowhere NEAR a Porn Addict.

hmm sorta watching this movie the lost weekend, i mean i had watched this intently a few years ago, and i think after i stopped drinking as well, and had gained some Understanding of the Baffling Cunning “Disease”, and i still found the movie disappointing and corny, and for some reason it seems better now.

i mean ive been on the straight and narrow path here for the last damn 7 years basically. no booze, a little bit of MJ though. not enough imho hahahahahahaha. gradually became more Alt Right, more JQ, less degen, more principled, just a better person hahaha. although unfort more of a virgin neet loser too hahahaha.

well its been up and down tho. ebb and flow.

was driving home and saw this fat guy and his fat wife in my neighborhood who are always sitting in their backyard smoking cigarettes and being fat, and i thought wow, fat and smoking, good choice buddy, and then i thought ok i shouldnt JUDGE him, he very well could be a very very very nice kind man, very courageous, very strong. nobody is perfect, me neither, and so he just happens to be a fat smoker. nobodys perfect and what if he’s very very nice.

how often do i need to bring in donuts? i dont want to more than once every 2 weeks.

you gotta ask the right questions. what if i ask the WRONG questions? what if i ask DUMB questions???!!?!

so show them i am smart by quoting Big Thought Leaders in this Education Related Field. I read some education books right? hehehe yes the only education books i read were “dumbing us down” by gatto and “the unschooling handbook” by some woman.

both very anti establishment sort of stuff. but which may be considered moer establishment in 2016.

i mean i really SHOULD be more interested in the Field of muh job. which all I will say it is SOMEWHAT education related.

so yeah i think education is bullshit ahhahahahahhahahahaha. all education should be handled by parents.

yeah well what about college level stuff. the job im doing COULD ACTUALLY BE LEGIT USEFUL to a HUHWHYTE NATION as regards “homeschooling” college/grad level material to Learners. It’s GOOD because it can put you into direct contact with Experts and Instructors while minimizing the JOOISH DEGEN (((((COLLEGE EXPERIENCE))))), i will just say that.

MINIMIZING IT!

so yeah this is actually a REALLY good position to be in and i shoul dbe  MOAR grateful!

maybe i should bring bagels instead of donuts? i mean i will actually eat bagels later if people dont eat them all. its easier to save and eat bagels later than donuts.

now you could still use this technology to deliver jooish marxist frankfurt skool degeneracy and mindkilling soulkilling poison into the brains of students, but again, its just a TOOL, that can be used for good OR for bad.

if it helps even one white neet get a good paying job one day, then its worth it.

so in a way, i am working in support of my Dream Career by Helping White Neets.  UP FROM NEETNESS.

well, if they are doing education, technically they are not a neet then hahahahahaha. well how about neets who are only involved in education, because its a LOT easier to go to college than to Get A Job. you just pay shitloads of money (take out loans) and go to some shitty school hahahaha.

honestly just go to your local community college. i PROMISE you its not THAT shitty. better than fookin DEVRY. talk about fookin SKYPES.

besides, to get a good job, you cant just have book knowledge and do good in online college courses. you have to be good with PEOPLE. CUSTOMERS. you have to have MAD CHARISMA and not be autistic!

so how do all these autists get jobs?

uhh the ones that dont get stem degrees from good colleges DONT! they become neets!

so would i feel more comfortable lying to the MMJ doctor about Carpal Tunnel or Back Pain, or Lying about getting Spasms from the meds i take for muh Severe Despair?

great now the poor beta orbiter kid who was in love with his female friend was bullycided into removing his post. because hes such a HORRIBLE PERSON. good lord they hate these pathetic niceguys more than they hate Raepists. seriously. right now he is probably blaming the shit out of himself for being such a horrible person. and he wont let himself grieve properly for a relationship that “didnt exist.” yeah well if he knew her for THREE YEARS it DID exist, no matter how close she felt to HIM, no matter what these degenerate bullies on /relships say.

THAT KID IS BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!

there is ANOTHER post about an opposite secs best friend at the top of the relships hotlist!

GUESS WHAT /R/RELSHIPS, WHEN YOUR “BEST FRIEND” IS THE OPPOSITE SECS, RIDICULOUS DRAMA ENSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess you can be “friends,” but to identify as “best friends”? HELL NO.

sheeeeeeeeeit tuff times buddy. im sure reddit will say he is a horrible person for thinking he is entitled to something.

yep sad shit man. well at least you can do your JOB and shit you got a NEW JOB within 8 months of getting heartbreakingly dumped! so id say youre doing pretty well. just work 80 hours a week at your new job and smoke MJ the rest of the time. use MJ to bribe tinder wh0res into nihilistic secs hahahaha.

did i get jealous because they were leaving me, or did they leave me because i was getting jealous?

i think i kept my jealousy under wraps PRETTY DAMN WELL until it became clear they were pulling away from me, talking to other guys, and then i’d say i had a PRETTY GOOD REASON to get jealous hehehehe.

so yeah i dont eer push women away because i am “THE JEALOUS TYPE.”

heres a good quote from this one:

”   [–]PaHoua 4 points 49 minutes ago
If you’re the one broken up with, it is very likely you’ll take much longer to move on than the dumper. That person has already been “mourning” the loss of the relationship for a long time and when they finally came to terms with it is when they decided to commit to the action of dumping you.
Think of it like the five steps of grief: 1. Denial; 2. Bargaining; 3. Anger; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
When she reached Acceptance, you weren’t even aware of what was to come. Then she dumped you. You moved into Denial.
This happened to me. I moved back and forth between all of the stages until I got into Acceptance. He was dating within weeks and probably earlier, whereas I remained in between stages for a couple of years.
It takes as long as it takes. That’s all anyone can tell you.     ”

wow a woman saying something very reasonable hahahahaha

 

COOL IT WITH THE ANTIHUHWHYTE REMARKS

nov 9

wow just wow, i cant even. you white people. so xenophobic and racist and sexist and misogynist. i need a mental health day to meet with my therapist. white people. so afraid to give up oppressing everyone else. i am sad and scared and ashamed. i cant even. i cant believe thsi is happening in 2016. those racist white boomers. white men. i thought they were dying off.

the leftist tears, shitlib tears, the moaning and groaning and its literally the end of the world. so fookin awesome. i dont want to be a sore winner or anything, BUT….. i mean i still hasnt sunk in for me, this is a huge fookin deal, i am just not used to this, i was totally expecting a hillary win, i still dont believe it.

but yeah to watch them whine about muh racism and all that shit they always whine about, but its worse now, but we won, the whites won baby hahaha.

of course not all trump supporters are deplorable racists like me. plenty go out of their way to be anti-racist. probably MOST are anti-racist.

but those shitlibs will call you a racist anyway.i just want to go to twitter and reddit and msm and all these sluts and catgirls.

well supposedly white women went for TRUMP. WOW. i would not expect any women to go for trump.

systematic hatred, voting for HATRED and DIVISION bla bla bla oh god i am so glad these LOSERS LOST. I dont want these people to think that their pathetic weak beliefs are correct. i want them to feel horrible anxiety and fear and hurt their fee fees for the next 4 years. hell yes i am a sore winner hahahahahaha. because these sick degen shitlibs are a fooking CANCER.

no not the everyday people that i see everyday. oh even the real life guy i know that is VERY butthurt right now and engages nonshitlibs in discussions of white privilege and legacy of slavery and structural, systemic racism, and who shakes his head at whites, total ta nehisi coates, atlantic, joo york slimes worhsipper hahaha. professional moving up in his career, making 50k+ a year. he is just so angry and butthurt and disappointed and will probably be complaining for the next 4 years. he is a white man who i have known for years and is a decent guy……but he will never be turned from his shitlibbery. now i dont think he is a bad guy and needs to GET IN THE OVEN like all these other sick traitorous shitlibs. even though he is a total shitlib hahahaha.

so yeah i dont want any harm to come to him because he is basically my friend, but i do enjoy his butthurt to some degree, like saying, yeah youre WRONG with all your BULLSHIT and us evil white men arent ready to DIE OFF just yet. welcome to the REAL WORLD.

but yeah all these shitlib millennials (and older) in joo york and all that shit, they can all hang for treason, hahaha. deplorable traitors.

i am hoping for r10t5 by ghetto blacks and browns, so law and order can come down swiftly hahahaha.

i dont think david duke won though, which is kinda suprising, i thought LA went strong for trump, i know they did.

well there was like 20 other republican in that race……dont they have a damn primary? i didnt know that. i thought he was the only repub candidate for senate.

literally shaking. giving side eye to all the WHITE PEOPLE i see. i just dont want to go out and see WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! evil racist white people voting for trump, for racism, for homophobia and islamophobia and transphobia and guns and slavery and rape!!! the only thing that  that keeps me going is the thought that this is the LAST RATTLE of White Racism, and we just have to stay strong for 4 more years, then the WHITE MAN is DONE.

anyway. as a white person who never tried to be racist, who once cared about being anti racist, i gradually learned that nothing you could do was ever enough. YOU WERE RACIST WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT because you didnt bend the knee enough, didnt check your privilege enough. if you were white, these shitlibs saw you as racist unless you did everything you could to suck their dicks, like the punchable face weak phaggots you see in hillary events. and these White Dudes STILL have Internalized Racism bla bla bla.

i did natzi this coming but now shitlibs are really piling the hate on white women. that white women really sold out all WOMEN in favor of their white privilege. because trump did a lot better than expected with white women.

hehehe people saying “fook comey” and blaming comey for “reopening the email investigation” and that ruined hillarys chances, when there wasnt even any real news there hahahaha. so this was all a plan to make hillary look bad before the election.

i never unfriended anybody over their obnoxious political views hahaha. i mean this one guy would be a prime candidate, but i accept him as being a good decent honorable person at heart. with some horribly misguided views that he probably will never change unless some nonwhites start accusing him of being racist, when he is a huge outspoken antiwhite antiracist. a scathing rebuke by nonwhites antiracists antiwhites would probably strike a nerve with him. bbbbut im not racist! i check my white privilege! im sorry for slavery and its legacy! i understand systemic racism! i know all about housing discrimination! urban crisis! i cant be a racist! ive worked so hard to not be a racist! being a racist is the worst thing ever!

this is the common theme, they think being a racist is the worst thing ever. i would admit that it is not. i would admit openly i am “slightly racist. of course these antiracists dont appreciate that honestly, they think WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY arent you working to overcome your own racism? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?

heh i will be amused just to hear these losers WHINE for the next FOUR YEARS hahahaha.

i have no precedent for this. still sinking in. still in shock. i didnt expect this. i expected hillary to win!

in 2012 i voted for mitt but also did not really expect him to win, but of course was slightly disappointed when barry won. but not NEARLY as disappointed as these shitlibs are NAO!!!!!!!!!

in 2008 I WAS the naive stupid immature shitlib voting for barry!!!!! and i was like yayyyy hope and change, this is so neat, progressive!

thankfully i got out of that. quitting drinking helped, i think it helped me Get Woke quicker. quit drinking in 2009, and i estimate 2010 was when i FLIPPED.

CA, NV, and MA have approved legal MJ! still waiting on AZ results. and maine.

uhhhh try not to dox but things got kinda heated in muh state, that is to say things were more exciting in this state than they have been in a few elections!

i wonder if it would be easier to sneak MJ out of Mass than out of colorado hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

defeated in arizona. still waiting on maine. well that SUCKS for arizona! i would be pissed if i were them.

anyway i would be super annoyed if i were on FACEBOOK and reading this guys posts, and everybody else hehehe. but then i would know exactly how shitlib my friends and acquaintances are. but do i really WANT to know?

if they are ALREADY my friends and acquaintences, well, good for them, they are GRANDFATHERED in hahahahaha.

of course i havent made any NEW friends since……..sheeeeeeit. years. That Woman, and this nice young man I used to work with, were the the only real new friends I have made since………………..i dunno 2010 hahahaha. and that nice young man im sure was a bit of a shitlib. actually he seemed Non political but if asked to make a decision as in an election, would prob vote for hillary.

yep i still read this sub hahahaha havent Tasted The Tears from the more political subs hehe. i mean its REDDIT, you know it is gonna get pretty YUCKY in there.

TASTE THE TEARS!!!!!!!!!!

white women, 53% trump, 43% hillary. i am honestly suprised here. i thought at LEAST 60% hillary for white women, basically all women.

American women voted overwhelmingly for Clinton, except the white ones

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/11/09/white_women_sold_out_the_sisterhood_and_the_world_by_voting_for_trump.html

so yeah WOMEN on a WHOLE voted for hillary, but WHITE women leaned towards trump.

THANK FOOKING GOD. Maybe it was WHITE WOMEN who were RESPONSIBLE for this.

basically this makes me feel a lot better about white women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean not that i KNOW any white women who voted trump hahahhaahaa. well except this 47 year old woman i saw at this social event who has like 3 kids.

so yeah my friends and colleagues arent really EVIL…….but the people they want to lead them are evil hehehehehe.

im not even sure if the GOD EMPEROR has even spoke publicly since 3am in the morning. he sounded fairly presidential then but i am sure he was tired at the end of the night hehehe.

its kinda like an omega virgin falling in luv with a grill and putting the pvssy on a pedestal. rather than grabbing it hahahaha. our IMAGE of trump and what we WANT him to be are different that who he really is. there is NO WAY he can live up to our expectations. basically its very likely he will sell out and become a basic bitch establishment neocon like jeb bush or something. no wall, no jobs, no deportations, just a lot of tuff talk and no action.

i fully admit that could happen! and we will be disappointed.

but yeah i think even if/when trump disappoints, there will be other people like him, better than him, more alt right than him. he is just the beginning, but we do need somebody to be the first. when he disappoints, there will be someone else who does not disappoint.

so yeah i am fully prepared that he will sell out or soften in some way.

anyway last night in public there was still some hope that hillary would win. i thought hillary was gonna win. resigned myself hehehe. now these same people will be butthurt as hell today. i am going to a social thing tonight where the people will not be happy hehehehe.

oh well not my problem.

search white people on twitter

white guy saying white people are the worst, ugh,  i cant wait until white people are not a majority any more.

looks like we underestimated the evil white racists and this is a dreadful, disgusting reminder of how much power they still have, and how far we still need to go, in being ultra progressive degenerates. we need more tolerance and more progressiveness hehehehe.

theyve been saying this shit for years, but now they are at a fever pitch with it, AND they LOST. YOU LOSE.  its hard to be a good winner about it!

heh. i do want them to feel despair, i have felt despair for years. i want them to despair so hard they fail at life, lose their jobs, lose their rels, go completely fookin insane. but they already ARE insane! yeah but they are also VALIDATED by having good jobs and somewhat good rels! they need more rejection and defeat in their lives hahahahaha.

its just more funny to think of the white shitlibs i know. its like, is your life really ruined now? is this really SO bad? youre still here, youre still making 50k a year, you still have a gf or wife or kid, you still are respected and can cry with your intelligent educated shitlib friends about how horrible the white man is, go to your hugbox hahaha. this isnt really a a huge loss FOR YOU hehehehe. but you feel sooooo bad on behalf of the muslims and women and nonwhites and latinos and blacks who are being BULLIED by this playground BULLY. chad the white fratboy bully.

i mean you HAVE to be upset, to SIGNAL that youre NOT A RACIST!

only RACISTS are not hugely upset about this!

i wonder how much longer i will be able to hide. i mean i wont be bitching for the next 4 years like These People hehehehe.

unrelated but i hadnt heard this yet, pretty funny

dunno just havent had A Win in 12 years hahahaha and this is a much bigger win hehehe. i mean this is huge election, very important in history…..and i was on the right side of it. the right side of history. i wont tell my children that i was some whining shitlib on suizid watch hehehe. i will say yes i was one of those strong proud free white men hehehe.  then i never got a white wife and never had white children cuz they went for the more alpha trump supporters, of which there are many hahaha.

WHITELASH HAHAHAHAHAHA

i remember in…..2006 or 07 i had this idea of “white backlash” like white people that were so threatened and fragile. remember i was still a stupid shitlib and voted for obongo in 2008, while also getting drunk all the time and thinking that whites oppressed everybody and were afraid of all nonwhites. and then demonized and victim blamed their victims. and did white flight and moved to white suburbs and bitched about how shitty blacks were.

thank GOD that by 2016 I changed my views and got on THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY. hahahaha.

get ready for 8 years of WHITELASH and WHITESPLAINING.

HOPEFULLY the shitlibs whine and complain SO MUCH that eventually white people are like DAMN you people WHINE about WHITE PEOPLE so much,

COOL IT WITH THE ANTIWHITE REMARKS!!!!!!!!!!

thats kinda what set me on the path. nothing was good enough for these people. either you were antiwhite or you were part of the white problem. i was like, come on, white people arent THAT bad! cant i say one good thing about white people? white people ended black slavery. white people stopped hitler and ended your damn shoah. and its still not enough. because whites are the cancer of humanity, whites oppress everyone, whites are the worst. ok then.

that was a real thing for me in turning me. i just got sick of the antiwhite remarks. i dont hate anyone. i sorta even believe in white privilege. just…..stop bashing whites so damn much! jeez! we might be the cancer of the human race but were not that bad! i mean blacks, joos, and arabs are all pretty goddamn bad, we’re every bti as good as them hahahaha.

also becoming jq wise helped.

heh. this might help me get over That Woman.

I mean, its a YUGE thing, its a GREAT thing, a very POSITIVE thing.

getting a JOB would be another positive thing…….but thats been hard as fook. harder and longer than TRUMP going from a “joke” to GOD EMPEROR. DONT FOOK WITH US. THE SLEEPING GOY AWAKENS.

nov 10

dear god. try to use muh computer and turns out the fookin HARD DRIVE IS DEAD. well at least pretty sure it is. never had that happen before. it was making weird beeping noise. well, it turned on initially, then “disk” (not cpu!) was at 99%, so i tried to restart, ended up doing hard power off. then it wouldnt turn back on. gave error message about cant boot or something, check boot order, it basically was not being recognized. and it was beeping. for a few months before it has been clicking, i guess thats not good.

watched a few youtube videos, one showed that you could temporarily fix this by removing the hard drive and battery, then “reseating” them. I carefully found the hard drive (not difficult) and pulled it out (little moar tricky because didnt know if i was doing it right or breaking it). took it out, looked at it like a monkey, looked at the connections, looked at the label, blew on the connectors like a nintendo cartridge, tried to turn it back on, and same old shit. still beeping. cant get to windows. cant get to anything.

ended up making a Quick Decision. i need muh damn laptop!!!!! it is absolutely essential for jobz.

using previous laptop which is 4 times slower but the hard drive still works! its worked for 4 years and the new laptop hard drive only worked for 1 and a half! DISGRACEFUL!!!!!!

warranty was over after 1 year. figures.

who even KNOWS if it IS the hard drive? I am taking a gamble here.

but seriously folks. this old computer. its shameful that i let muh family use something that is SO SLOW. I just spent some money to buy some more ram for it. it still wont be fast but right now its so slow you cant even use it. you gotta turn off the antivirus just to type in blogs hahahaha.

basically can only have 3 tabs open. 2 gigs of ram. disgraceful. i cant LET my FAMILY use this! but they havent really complained about it. oh well. do the right thing. the hard drive is good at least.

anyway. went way over on cals yesterday, but stayed in the limit today. good. did 10 pushups today, good. only 2.2 miles of walking, meh.

went so far over the cals yesterday, absolutely obscene.

losing weight is 90% diet (what you eat) and 10% exercise.

fookin hard drive. i like the computer, just ridiculous the hard drive failed.

what if it didnt fail. what if it was…….the hard drive connector that is built into the motherboard. im assuming. i really dont like computers. i am just above average amerifat at working with them. good enough to make 15 an hour at a computer job…………..that is horribly stressful and involves being thrown into situations where you have to fix and explain shit where you have no idea what youre doing, being slammed by impatient and angry people ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

is that really worth 15 an hour?

had a dream last night that did not have HER, but it was like i was hanging out with people and we were doing a scavenger hunt and we went to a bowling alley i think and the instruction was, find the thing in here that reminds you of That Woman. There is one specific thing here that is a blatant reference to Her, if you really know her.

then i got all mad and was like you dont know her! you dont know her! all you people think she is so great but she’s not that great. i dont want to play this stupid game any more. she broke my heart. shes not some angel. i dont want to hear you saying how great and awesome she is. shes not THAT awesome.

so i was all butthurt. and everyone was like oh. well. sorrrrrrrrry. so you dont like her. youre a weirdo anyway. she prob had a good reason to dump you. she’s still a great awesome person.

then there was a woman with pink hair who may or may not have been her. i guess the idea was, i havent seen her in 2 years, and i wouldnt recognize her, ESPECIALLY if she got pink hair.  the pink hair girl was only in the dream for 2 seconds.

so then today i was slightly sad because i was like, wow, at one time we had a really good thing. and it went SO bad. i never wanted to hurt her, and i never wanted her to become so disappointed in me. she was a good influence in muh life, and her thinking of me as a horrible bad influence was HORRIBLE for my self esteem hahaha. you dont have to like me back, just dont think im a horrible person. i cant handle YOU thinking im a horrible person. that k’s me.

so yeah. when you lose a great person, and they treat you like you are a monster, its a lot harder than if you lost a shitty person, or they didnt treat you like a monster, because now you blame yourself so hard for pushing Your Perfect Soulmate out of your life and you have no one to blame but yourself.

but people ruin their own lives all the time!!!!!!! and they SHOULD blame themselves!

and people DO push people away ALL THE TIME!!! they abuse their longsuffering wife who rightfully leaves them!

so naturally i think i am one of those bad horrible people.

but im really NOT, but its hard to stop those thoughts.

so thats the hardest thing.

well it would prob be harder if we were ACTUALLY “dating” and i pushed her away from THAT. cuz i would have lost even MORE. and then i would have loathed muh self even MORE.

when really yeah i mean i was awkward and cowardly and WEAK.  but i wasnt waiting in the wings with ulterior motives like a nice guy. which is enough to legit rightfully drive a person away. and i hate that she thinks I am like that. but i can see how she could. but i hate that a person i care about things so low of me and she is gonna live with that memory of me forever. when im not really THAT BAD. and she was a great person i wanted to have children with hahahahahaha. a good white wife. and now i gotta find another one. that i have actual real feelings for. and not some thot hahahahaha. thot genocide.

but yeah whatever. i lost a very very very important person to me and they hate me and will remember me wrongly forever. no big deal. you can easily replace all that. hahahaha.

all these idiots think trump is FULL OF HATE. wheres the HATE i ask? how is he HATEFUL?

how is he a BIGOT?

you will hear HATEFUL or BIGOT whenever these losers start talking. they are even bigger losers than I am. at least i am not ashamed of being white hahahaha. but i am ahsamed of being a weak loser who loses more than leftist shitlib antiwhite antiracist swpls hahahaha.

what if this new hard drive does not fix the computer?

i also had to buy an acer windows recovery disc from acer so i can reinstall windows. because microsoft, saw muh activation key, said nope you gotta go to the manufacturer for this one. put in serial number at acer, i am kindly allowed to buy one disc forever for 20 bucks. no downloads hahaha.  there are grammar and spelling mistakes on the acer website. i should have not gotten an acer. fook them. the refurbished dell inspiron…..sorry latitude is a more solid computer.

and oops i ordered the same brand of hard drive that was in there. didnt really shop around for hard drives.  seagate brand. well it had a good rating at newegg.

well well see. if it doesnt work then i just totally wasted 60 bucks and then next thing will prob be drop even MOAR money on a totally new comp. sheeeeeeeeeeit.

well ghoul from TRS has revealed his RL face, kind of a big thing. he is starting a new show on youtube. i was shocked at how handsome and normie chad he looks like. i figured he would be an ugly autist from the way he talks. all awkward autistic. but noooo. he looks like a healthy fashy handsome spencelerian white ubermensch. GREAT.

however it kinda made me like him more.

but also made me envious.

on 30 minutes in the oven, they interviewed ghoul once and hes like, its really not that hard to find a good woman, you can find one in a BAR, you just gotta put yourself out there, talk to people, show initiative, be a somewhat interesting guy.

easy for you to say, handsome chad!

but yeah just from the awkward way he talked, and the fact that hes doing a philosophy phd (i think), i figured he would be a huge virgin. but NOOOOOOO he prob has a good gf.

well good for him i guess. but its a hell of a lot harder for some of us. or, we finally DO, and they leave us because we are horrible and weak and push them away by being too needy hahaha.

 

 

 

WORSE THAN BEING ABORTED: STILL ALIVE TO SUFFER

july 7

had interview today, 5 people grilling me, 1 hour and 20 minute interview, 40k job tho damn.

then went on linked in and switched my settings to anonymous mode so i could look at people from my old job. started feeling bad. like damn they can handle taking confusing angry phone calls all day, how come i cant? they found new jobs, the are able to think fast and act quick. oh 3 people from my company went over to this other company. I WONDER if thats where SHE went too. oh i wonder if shes fooking one of those guys then. or maybe she already fooked him and now they hate each other but still work together.

how come just the thought of answering those calls and dealing with those weird problems strikes fear into my heart? i wish i could be AS GOOD as her in the stupid competition of life. compete with her on HER terms and PROVE that I am at LEAST as good as her, can do the same kind of ridiculous work, make the same decent money.

and now she goes on and makes new friends and knows the people we worked with, longer than I knew her….which was a pretty long time. and I am stuck in the past. and she has moved past me, and I am just a faded memory in her past, that she has mostly forgotten.

next on the listening:

diocletian: gesundrian

proclamation: nether tombs of abbadon (terrible reviews, as their well of ideas has run dry and they are just going thru the blasphemous motions. but I sorta think the production sounds best on this one. and I figure each album will sound exactly the same, so production is VERY important here.)

i should be talking about this interview hehehe.

i figure, they interview 5 people, that means you START OFF at a 20% chance of getting the job. then depending on how you do, you go up or down. probably not more than 10% either way.

anyway it was me, and 5 managers, in a room for 1 hour and 20 minutes. 5 people making 25 bucks an hour to spend 90 minutes of Paid Time with ME hahahahaha.

ok did 5 mile walk, listened to those things. i just dont have great headphones. i have 10 dollar headphones when i should invest in some good 50 dollar headphones, but i just cant right now till i establish an income stream other than 2 dollars a week on mturk hahaha. i could only stand about 10 to 14 minutes of the proclamation. but its nice to come back to that noise for 14 minutes a day or so.

the diocletian sounded sorta like angel corpse but with some slow parts. great sound, again hurt by my headphones. great drum and guitar sound, great fast blasts, no triggers like some f4ggy death metal band hahaha.

i just hate sounding incompetent with a caller who wants me to fix a problem, because I AM incompetent, and i DONT know what I’m doing. and i hate that SHE was better at that in the long run than me.

and if you can stay good at that in the long run, you can actually advance in the stupid tech support field. become a tier 2, then a tier 3, then a manager, get jobs at increasingly better companies. you just gotta tough it out. and I couldn’t do it, and she COULD. AND she doesn’t CARE about ME, when I KNOW she once did. she was tough enough to do the job, and to KEEP doing the job a year later, but she wasnt courageous enough to SHOW CARE about ME. fooooooook.

i mean other women have been tougher and more competent than me. better at their jobs. doing tough jobs. cool under pressure. going gets tough, tough get going. other women have Bested me at that competition, but I didn’t care nearly AS much because they showed a lot more courtesy to me when they dumped me. they said sorry that I have to do this. and then went on to become hugely successful in their careers. just like THAT PERSON is going to be. I came CLOSE to looking her up on linkedin today. I thought she might work at this company several people from our company went to.

theres a difference between “taking the black pill” ie looking a unpleasant things, because you might learn a valuable lesson…….vs TORTURING yourself by COMPARING yourself to others unfavorably on linkedin. looking at all those fookin WINNERS on linkedin. or f4gbook or that matter. oh im so successful at muh career. i am not on the verge of a nervous breakdown and im getting MARRIED to a person I LUV and want to make babies with. we just had a baby. were having our second baby. chad just got promoted to Team Lead this year, which meant more money for our growing family. Stacy finished her masters degree in Talent Acquisition which resulted in a big pay raise for her too.

that fooking bullshit successful middle class normie STRIVERS talk about in their christmas card letters!!!!

so yeah. SOME blackpilling is ok, but I don’t think this comparing yourself is really helpful, nor is it legit blackpilling. its more digging yourself into a rut and putting yourself into a bad mood. better to just STOP, and just apply for another job, or go for a 5 mile walk and listen to EVIL raw black metal like blasphemy or proclamation hahahaha.

black lives matter hehehe how about MY life matters. I wanted MY life to matter to HER. not even in a tradwife luv sort of way, but just in GENERAL.  even before i fell in luv her life matter to me, and my life mattered to her. i just wished my life could have mattered to her at the END. rather than being murdered like an aborted child hahahaha.

now i know what that aborted child feels like with the silent scream, as it screams pleeeease mommy dont murder me, and then they get murdered anyway. and then you get to stay alive enough to be able to see that, and think about it for years hahahaha. and you wonder how could your own mother murder you hehehe.

so in a while its WORSE than being aborted! because you are still ALIVE TO SUFFER!!

at least the aborted baby has the privilege of not being able to suffer any more. they are put out of their misery!

july 8

foreveralone feels, an actual 30 year old wizard virgin with a youtube channel whoooooaaaaa

i mean he LOOKS like one! but he also doesnt look TOO bad, or irredemable. its sad.

instantly subscribed.

The “why are women fooked” question is actually really easy: because they don’t have to be good to pass on their genes. They just have to take a dick and keep the baby alive. The men have to slave, fight and die over who gets to keep them.

great quote from great trs thread on how bad women are hahaha

but yeah i might as well be a 30 year old virgin. i had secs 2 times with a gurl when i was 21………AND THEN NEVER EVER AGAIN hahahaha and now I am 30+.

its a really unique situation. there’s no manual for this. the wizards dont understand, the normie chads sure dont understand. i guess people can still advise you: be a stronger, better, man with purpose. then you can keep a woman from dumping you. easier said than done tho hahaha.

huge anti police shooting in dallas, its HAPPENING, 4-5 officers dead, wow, i mean i can honestly say stuff was NOT liek this when I was young. shit is objectively getting BAD.

i meditated on my desire to bang gurls up the ass and I figured it had to do with a desire to PUNISH them and cause them some pain. for not wanting anything to do with me, and also for Playing Around with the LIfe Creation Process so casually.

I was always kinda afraid of the Vag and Secs because I always understood THATS HOW BABIES ARE MADE. this is NOT a casual, fun process. if you want to have PURELY recreational secs, then do it up the ass like mexican sluts or f4gs. that’s the fookhole for people who REALLY dont want to have babies. and i dont want to have babies. babies are a BIG DEAL and Im not ready for that. so i dont want to treat the pvssy like some kind of casual funland.

and women are stupid and inferior for treating their OWN pvssies like that. theyre the ones who GET pregnant!!!! how can they NOT know this and need a man to mansplain it to them? because thats how women ARE. and I was like holy shit that sucks SO MUCH. How can I POSSIBLY respect or even LIKE women. they are DISGUSTING.

so hence the desire to bang them in the ass. to somewhat punish them, and also to show that I wanted to remove ALL chance of conception. well why not just use birth control.

because i’ve ALWAYS believe that BC is flawed. that its putting up an unnatural roadblock to something natural. and you just dont need to do that with the ass. because the ass is not MADE FOR REPRODUCTION. its made for expelling shit.

so yeah still its degenerate to want to put muh dick in an EXIT hole! I fully own and admit that. own muh degeneracy.

well its not like Im going out banging sluts in the ass, or watching porno of it! although I used to. but i havent looked at porno in….242 days.

the shit with the woman WENT DOWN 360 days ago. almost a year.

sent her the last email 326 days ago.

last got a haircut 101 days ago. and I am fully planning on getting a nice very short haircut TODAY.

later. got nice short level 1 haircut! very nice. do this more like every 2 months, not every 3 months. it was looking bad on the sides, like an unemployable loser neet wizard virgin. dont do this. i am scottish with spending money, but in this case, its WORTH THE MONEY. just spend the money and get a haircut every 2 months. they barber didnt even ask about muh JOB hahaha.

also now i look more masculine, like a real ross bay powerlifting black metal skinhead. i would also add 1433 to that, althought the ross bay cult is NOT associated with 1433. but they should really consider it! although the black guy in the band blasphemy hahahaha well i will give him a pass.

BUT really raw drunken satanic black metal is degenerate anyway, and degeneracy and 1433 is like OIL AND WATER.

so, switch all that drunken satan imagery with like Nationalistic War imagery. you can still have those kewl black and white drawings! just instead of goatz and sp00py skellys with goathorns, you can have like soldiers and fuhrers and gunz and tradfams and such.

being CONFUSED SUCKS. it kills your confidence and can lead to Chronic Stress.

also you feel like you are getting early onset dementia or alzheimers at age 35. WTF. that is very frustrating.

or was it just because you smoked too much MJ and drank too much alcohol before age 25? because ya sure did. sure screwed the pooch on that one. dicked the dog. fooked fido.

like worshiping satan and evil is stupid, immature, degenerate, and really doesnt make sense. being a 1433 whyte warrior makes TOTAL sense. 14 words make TOTAL sense. so express THAT in your music.

had stupid dream last night where I dreamed I was looking at pictures of HER, on facebook or instagram or whatever. i saw a photo of her from new years eve where she was kissing a black guy. i reacted with disgust and horror and anger, much like you would expect me to hahahaha. i make no apologies for not liking mudsharking, and I am ESPECIALLY offended when the woman I luv would rather fook and kiss blacks than have anything to do with ME. it really stings the pride knowing a black guy is better at getting the woman of your dreams than you are. and that the woman of your dreams would rather be with a black guy than you, ya racially-aware whyte man.

also IRL she did go out with a black guy but I never saw secsy pictures of that thank god. but the fact is, they were making out and FOOKING. she she suck his dick? most certainly. Did he blast jizz on her pretty face? maybe. did he fook her up the ass? maybe. did he fook her doggystyle and blast on her nice white ass? certainly. did he pound that pvssy with her fine white body pressed up against him while they made out and she sighed in Ecstasy? 100000% yes definitely. things I will never experience with her hehehehe.

And I have always like kissing and making out MORE than secs. it seems so pure and fun and innocent and safe and good. and secs seems so dirty and bad and pornographic and dangerous and bad. not because it is, but because the way the women treat it like its NOTHING. treat it with more reverence.

so I always LIKED making out and kissing more. it means a lot to me. I would have had a LOT of fun making out with her. I had a LOT of fun just making out with gurls. then they would get bored, want secs, and dump me when they correctly ascertained that I wanted a real rel.

i get dumped because i always want a RELATIONSHIP with women hahahaha what a MONSTER I am.

clingy and needy, always wanted a Relationship.

oh well there’s serious rels and then theres casual rels. why do I always want a serious rel?

because I am an OLD SCHOOL WHITE MAN, and I KNOW that sex cannot be treated CASUALLY!

so yeah not only do i think secs is intmate, i think KISSING is kinda intimate too! and i feel a lot more positively towards it than secs, ie its something i can actually enjoy, possibly because it doesnt make babies but still allows you to show affection for your bitch, like cuddling. and its much SAFER and lower RISK, and I think its super FUN and stress free, and I RESENT women for not liking it so much, or thinking its BORING.

if you think somethings boring, YOUR BORING hahahahahahaha.

if you’re BORED, YOURE BORING.

uncle bern might have clued me into that saying.

oh lord their are LATVIANS speaking LATVIAN in the poker room hahahaha.

this is really interesting. yes i luv latvians, they are white as hell. or are they finngolian hahaha. latvians are classic joohaters and ovened 6 gorillion joos in riga in 1943.

 

 

AFTER 30 GUYS, U DONT CARE WHOSE C0Q U TAKE OR WHOSE HEART U BREAK

1224

sheeeeeit.  had dream with her in it, didnt need that. she was cuddling with me in a half hearted, not really into it sort of way.

because i am anxious and ambivalent and neurotic i am always worried about lovers Not Really Loving Me, then i push them away with my Smothering Doubt. Do you really luv me? do you really luv me? hehehehe and they get mad and say well obviously nothing i do will never be enought o convince you! and they leave. but its my fault for not trusting them hahahaha.

BUTTTT the point is, they really did never luv me, so i was RIGHT to doubt their luv! we were never in that kind of rel, of COURSE they didnt LUV me!

so i didnt push her away with pushing of “do you realy luv me? i dont believe you. i dont believe you.”

it was more pushing her away with  “i want to talk about me liking you” and it was clear at that point she didnt like me back so she saw no need to talk about it.

ok. i guess i just wanted to end our Rel in a nicer way. thats a valid wish hahahaha.

but yeah i have a very insecure relationship style anyway where i WOULD eventually suspect the person of losing interest in me and probably push them away with my suspicion. because its been a recurrring problem in muh “rels” with wimmin, that they never had much interest in me to being with.

but Some Women dont need to have much interest in you to have secs with you and show a lot of interest in you for like 2 weeks. and that is just a mindfook for me!!!! well ya sure seemed INTERESTED for those 2 weeks!!!!!! and i liked that!

i jsut hate being so weak with women that i throw my OWN life down the crapper.

well, part of it was due to the job itself. but at least 60% of it was having to work every day with someone who not only rejected me, but Harshy Terribly Meanly Rejected me. when this was the woman i wanted to spend muh life with hhahahahaha.

so this one persnality test says i am “THE COMPOSER.”

but basically the biggest thing of my personality is that i am NEUROTIC. and then introverted hugely. but even MORE hugely neurotic.

and that sucks because you cant put a positive spin on neurotic like you can with introvert. neurotic is just a recipe for being a total loser at life. you will have BIG trouble getting and keeping jobs, women, and friends. you will be constantly tortured by anxiety and doubt and despair and no confidence and generally be a miserable failure virgin mgtow hahahahahaha. never find a white wife. can only pay thai and philippine gurls to bang you.

well at least i have given up pron. it has been a few months since i looked at it. but damn. even just a year ago i was looking at it maybe once a week! thats not a LOT…. but its still probably too much!!!!!!!! and you need to go cold turkey for MONTHS to get your brain back to unpronified mode.

but the composer…..yeah muh neurotic narciss writing blog right here is my main “composition.” GREAT.

and brigning that neuroticism into every rel with women….pushes them away.

i am cool and distant and find it very difficult to get close to people and make new friends…….BUT i also try to be ver nice to people as a rule so they dont think of me as an autistic weirdo. so i am remembered as A Nice Guy rather than a Weirdo Loner Sperg Psycho hahaha.  so they might not know much abotu me but they know i am a nice guy who is easy to get along with and friendly. i was kinda becoming that guy at my job….but then i SNAPPED. i hate SNAPPING.

MW had his Female Panel the other night and i guess there was a troll and he made the video unlisted. im not even sure what happened. maybe a male troll showing his bare ass on webcam? i dont know. dont quote me.

but then there are hardcore mgtows in the comments calling the women bitches and say fook you for using men as disposable cannon fodder, if this is what it means to be a man and man up, i want no part of it, i dont want to be a slave sacrificing my life for a cvnt etc etc etc.

and i am very interested in this debate because i can understand both sides. at this point this guy sounds like a real woman hater, and i would say, well, ideally men and women are complementary, the man doesnt mind sacrificing for his Fair Maiden, because she reciprocates with her LOYALTY and LUV and SUPPORT and being the mother of his children, etc.

when, quite rightly, a mgtow would say to that, yeah but she DOESNT reciprocate with that. she abandons you, leaves you in the lurch, shows you NO loyalty, and STEALS your money and children!!!!!!!!!!!

and then you rebut, well NAWALT, sorry but you married a real shitty woman then sorry abotu that, but really truly NAWALT!

and then you can debate how many NAWALT.

and many mgtows believe that even if NAWALT yet, our society is a slippery slope that enables and pushes all women to BECOME like That: disloyal mercenary parasite thieves. its enough to turn a good woman bad, and until that system changes, men have to AVOID WOMEN.

but ultimately i need women too much to willfully avoid them!

which puts me at risk for getting so desperate that I fall for the spell of one of those evil women! who shows some interest at first but then a few years later, loses the interest and robs me!

shit i would love to have a woman show interest in me for that long hahahaha.

so in other words, IF i actually made ok money, i would be a HUGE target for evil parasite women hahahaha.

now i am a target for nobody except totally batshit borderline women that dont even care that i dont have resources or power; and certainly dont care who they mkae babies with.

in short, i am neurotic and insecure as hell which is a big potential problem for my relships with women (i am much better with men!), and i have always been dumped because they lose interest and didnt REALLY like me; BUT i shouldnt let that fool me into blaming myself for being too needy or clingy, since i wasnt actually THAT needy or clingy, i was well within the NORMAL RANGE for a person who has feelings for another person, and do not deserve to be shamed as needy because of that. tell them well how did YOU act when you were in love with chad thundercock at age 15? you acted like a 15 year old gurl and imagined a life together and drew little hearts and wanted him to be your one and only forever and ever, long term. then you went down a slippery slope, and after 30 guys, you dont care whose cock you take or whose heart you break.

heheheh my female friend seemed to care about the cox she took, but ultimately did not care about breaking MY heart.

MAYBE im overestimating the sluttiness of the average women. and that HONESTLY. maybe even as much as 50% of 25 year old women (i pick 25 as being the median and average of The Twenties) that are 6/10 and above are not promiscuous sluts with over 30 partners who take cox and break hearts very casually! maybe half of them take sex and rels seriously, have had under 5 partners, date only within their race, are not into weird open relationships and nonmongamy.

in other words, 50% of The Dating Pool of 25 Year old Single White Women, are Decent.

bbbbbut that sounds a little high, how abotu 25%?

how about 37.5%?

so yeah the mgtows call the “alt right” people white knight pvssy worshippers and the alt right calls the mgtows omega loser butthurt neckbeard basement phaggots.

right now i am more on the side of alt right but i understand the mgtow frustration. and i think we shouldnt wife up bitches and whores even white ones…….but the alt right isnt saying we SHOULD anyway! they would say wife up and have lots of kids with a decent white woman! well i certainly agree with that. and they are certainly quick to shame shameful behavior and not “save a ho” with degenerate white bitches.

on the other hand, maybe degenerate white bitches would make ideal partners for omega white males like me hahahaha.

fookin neurotic. how is that even factored into your PERSONALITY. theres nothing GOOD about it. nobody wants a neurotic. neurotic is inherently antiwhite and omega and weak. yet its the largest most prevailing part of muh personality.

i mean yeah the neurotic stuff sucks and i have a lot but i have good stuff too. like i am moral and kind and loving and smart and shit. i am the composer. like beethoven. or wagner hahahaha. but not with music. fook music its degenerate.

so why cant i compose up a successful business or something hahahaha.

also i think a extraverted neurotic will do better than an introverted neurotic.

hehehe i am prob very much like millennial woes personality wise. he was a neet loser in despair and unemployable, but now he is truly turning his life around and becoming the man he was born to be.

but you know he has been in despair because he dresses shabbily and smokes too many cigarets and doesnt care about his health and appearance enough. even though he is a handsome man! more handsome than me! they joke he is a 5’2 manlet but i am more of a manlet than him plus fatter and bald hahahaha. i used to look better but then i Hit The Wall around 27 hahahaha. of course i drank a lot and MW doesnt drink ever.

anyway.

in this ramzpaul vidya there are a bunch of anti-sinead comments and she herself blatantly states she is not in the alt right, she doesnt like it, the alt right is a bunch of merchant phaggots who love muslim roosh and hate white women hahahaha.  im not alt right, i am just trying to expose the merchants.

when she doesnt seem to realize that much of the “alt right” wants to expose the merchants too, and do not hate white women, and dont care for mudslim roosh, we just think flat earth is fooking retarded and nutty and really does make us look bad. and yet i am fascinated with sinead because she is a counter-merchant conservative and a kinda qt gurl, well many say she is ugly but she is hawt enough for me.

or maybe jsut because she reminds me of That Woman.

but every woman in her 20s with pale white skin and long dark hair who is not fat or not ugly or not stumpy reminds me of HER!!!!!!!!!!

well sinead might be 30 hahahaha but i heard hearsay she was 26.

but yeah she is too combative and oppositional to people who would be good allies. like TRS and rzp. i saw she just followed MW but she probably would call him a degenerate faggot too because he is neetish and had a bi phase.

and then common filth thinks “alt right” is degenerate because he thinks jack donovan is a degenerate, which he probably is. the mistake is in thinking we are all degenerate like jack donovan!

been really likig the TRS forum, they seem like a bunch of good goys. common filth should spend some time with them, then hed see that alt right is not too degenerate……but hes too busy scouring the internet for the most degenerate shit imaginable hrmmmmmmmmmmm.

so the point is it shows leftists for the disgusting degenerate filth they are. and CF is presented in a funny way. it doesnt seem AS nihilist as say Power Electronics, or god forbid, animal torture fetish videos.

so i was a weak unmanly faggot. so it was bad timing to get feelings. but im not a BAD GUY and i dont think she needed to treat me that badly even if women do hate weak men. i hate slutty women too, but if i was friends with a slutty woman and she got feelings for me, i would still be NICE to her when i rejected her.

although i probably wouldnt become friends with a slutty woman to begin with! because imho it signals greater moral weakness than a weak man just being a weakling.

really the best equivalent to a female slut would be a male deadbeat father: who creates life and then abandons it.  its total r selected, quantity over quality, low respect for human life, degenerate, rat monkey animal behavior.

the sensitive sissyboy who is scared to blurt out “I LIKE U” is not quite at the same point of degeneracy and immorality as the people Flippantly, Casually, CREATING AND DESTROYING HUMAN LIFE.

a lot different that being scared to say the words to someones face that you were kinda signalling to them anyway.

yeah i was weak. so fooking sue me.

what is the appropriate punishment for weakness or cowardice?

HARSH SCATHING BRUTAL PUNISHMENT?

I guess that will toughen you up though.

but i am not gettng tougher tho hahahaha. i wish i coulda been tough AT THAT MOMENT. and just been like fook you bitch youre not gonna do this to me, lets have our final showdown right now and say everything we want to say to each other, and mutually hate each other, and ignore each other at work.

but would i have been able to ignore her at work? prob NOT. she would be able to ignore and hate me, but i would still partially luv her, like i do now! and i wouldnt be able to ignore her! i would be looking at her constantly and noticing every person she talked to!!!!!

well i keep talking about sluts being immoral and degen……but she wasnt a slut! but i WAS weak!

well my POINT is, yeah my being weak kinda sucks, but her treatng me like that REALLLYLLLLLYYYYYY sucks. -1 vs a -20 or so.

i am also mad at myself for flipping out over it, getting all overly emotional like a damn young woman.

being more womanly than man.

not that you should inherently hate womanliness, but its not a good thing for a MAN to be, especially a man who has a desire to be with women, well then his womanliness will just push them away!

but still we had a friendship and a history and its just ridiculous it all went down like this.

and how the hell am i going to rebuild my life and find a woman i can actually get along with. i actually got along with her. and she was young and Pure. damn.

1225 crimbo hahahaha

i was just thinking, a gurl being a FLAT EARTHER would NOT be a dealbreaker for me as much as her being a HIGH NUMBER SLUT hahahahaha. i would say thats great cupcake go and study your flat earth. just dont leave me or stop luving me and abandon me hahahahahaha. and dont burn the coal hahahaha.

well see i think its worse to be a slut than to burn the coal ONCE. now its rare to just burn the coal ONCE. usually there is 99% overlap with being a slut.

you can guess who i have to make the damn exception for, my special snowflake who burned the coal once and was not a slut.

but being a slut has a pattern of behavior built right into it.

anyway it makes sense that men should have to work hard to show themselves worthy of a woman. it DOESNT make sense when a women GIVES IT AWAY to a lot of guys easily.

but basically i cant see myself being enough of a Real Man to pull a Decent Woman, ie one i am attracted to and with a good character. therefore, if i want to Pull women who are moderately attractive, they are gonna have to have a pretty bad character to give me what i deserve for my unmanliness hehehehe.

heh. i mean i should be lucky i even got to become friends with a nonugly nonslutty 25 year old woman!!!!!!!!

well i was happy about that. i just cant beleive that me being a weak omega merited her being as harsh to me as she was. be a little damn nicer to the person you knew for 2 years. its not like i CHEATED on you or BEAT you. damn.

i AGREE being a weak omega is BAD. but i slipped and cracked and snapped ok????? i wasnt ALWAYS like that with her. for a while i was fairly normal.

only one country separates norway from north korea. of course if you say only one country separates china from ukraine it doesnt sound as impressive hahahaha.

anyway i could deal with the mother of my children believing in a flat earth so long as she was not a slut, she was loyal to me, i luved her, she loved me.

i think the issue is, sinead is more bitchy and confrontational about people calling her out on this obviously ridiculous than she should be. it would be a lot better if she merely said she was skeptical that the earth was round and she wasnt such a damn bitch about it hahahahaha.

also is this the best way to bring women into the movement? not sure. i think a better way is just to have smart alpha fashy goy men who are successful in life, hide their true power level, and then gradually convince their wives on Red Pill Stuff. rather than try to have a Female Thought Leader talking about flat earth and conspiracies hahahaha.

i mean if i were with a woman i luved, like that woman, and she got into flat earth, that would not drive me away. i would just say thats nice honey, and hope it didnt become a problem. like shes gonna dump me for a more manly man who also believes in flat earth hahahaha. that would suck. well, now i am used to the worst case scenario actually ahppening. so with my luck, that would indeed happen.

macao is not a separate country, it is part of china. but like an autonomous region i think. maybe it might become independent someday.

heh. i say let sinead in. because i am a thirsty white knight beta hahahaha. BUT she SAID she didnt want to be in the alt right. the alt right is too weak, faggy, degenerate, j00ified, and beta leftist for her. well if shes not alt right what is she? she would probably say white nationalist or counter-semite hahahaha.

well i argue that alt right can cover those things. i think this is a narcissism of small differences thing.

or maybe sinead and i have very different definitions of the alt right. i admit it is a confusing term hahahaha.

i dont know why i am so obsessed with her. probably because she sorta looks like the woman i was/am in luv with, and she is pro white, and into traditional values. shares some important interests with me. and you dont get very many attractive 25 year old women who are outspokenly pro-white. its interesting.

well SUPPOSEDLY most white women prefer to date and mate with white men, even if they dont outspokenly say it. well i hope so hahaha.

and sinead is really just kooky and crazy by being Aggressively Pro Flat Earth and Aggressively insulting her racial allies.  basically saying you arent racist ENOUGH to people who are plenty racist hehehehe. to people who have no problem with heiling hitler and using all the best racial slurs and wanting a white homeland and being j-wise. they arent racist enough because they dont believe in flat earth. thats what leaves me CONFUSED.

but i dunno i think sinead could be good for doing womens stuff, or for being a surrogate waifu for lonely single white men. like building up their confidence that yes there is a marraigeable white woman out there for you.

or yes you can be a racist and find a nice traditional woman who might be nuts hahahaha but at least she is white and willing to have kids…..but might be a Coal Burner and is certifiably nuts.

really the Coal Burning is prob more important than the flat earth. i am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that just because she has pictures of her with blacks, doesnt mean she FOOKED the blacks hahaha. hahahaha i mean EVERYBODY has PICTURES of themselves with diff races.

also i am a special case. 1 gurl i liked in like 2007-8 was a coalburning slut who i removed from muh history. just deleted. and then this gurl, that woman, i was in honest LUV with her, and she coalburned ONCE.

what IF she was so nonslutty she didnt even have SECS with him? i just assume she did because i’m used to sluts who have secs with EVERY man they hang out with, cuz its no big deal. but maybe they just made out and she was like no i want to date for a while before we have secs. kinda like my ideal woman hahahaha. kinda like i was always uncomfrotable having secs with gurls i just met becuase im not comfortable having secs with STRANGERS.

who the fook WOULD be.

but yeah. i mean. i dont really want a hooker because their lives are so sad. i would rather bang a degenerate slut because they are somewhat more normal.

anyway when we were younger we disrespected women because they were DUMB and blue pilled as fook. as i matured i realized, hey dont hold that against women. who cares if theyre dumb or blue pill, if they are NICE and PURE and VIRTUOUS. you dont go to women for intellectual conversation or for being COOL, you go to them for moral support and luv and kindness and tenderness.

like That Person was not super smart. she was smart ENOUGH, she was prob smarter than average womennnnnn maybe. i was definitely way smarter than her. and i kinda liked that and i think she kinda liked that and i liked it when she told me i was smart hahahahaha.

well shouldnt men provide emotional support for women and not the other way around? men are the protector and the rock and the stability for the emotionally unstable women? so if the man needs a WOMAN for moral support, thats like going to a merchant banker for free money hahahahaha.

well ok maybe women could talk about stuff like What Women Should Be, and Make It Cool to be Traditional and NOnslutty and Feminine. …… because women are more likely to listen to other women than men? even if we are counting on men to influence their wives politically and mentally?

well i think it wouldnt HURT to have women speaking to women. if a woman doesnt have a traditional bf or father, then a traditional woman could school them on how its cool to Be Pure and how Secs is Sacred. because women sure arent getting that from THEIR single momz. single momz are not just bad for boys, they are bad for girls too.

Cuz then you get gurls with Daddy Issues. because their single mom was a crazy whore, so the poor girl thinks that is normal.

so the Tradcon or Alt Right or Pro White Womens Groups could be very helpful to girls like this.

and also give hope to boys that Not All Women are evil succubi sluts. better to have a real woman as a waifu than some anime bullshit.

and the women could talk abotu relationships and luv and monogamy and feelings and basically all the shit i talk about!

how to relship, how to treat each other nicely, how to dump a person, how to communicate.

how to not give it up to guys you dont really know. how to keep your lifetime number under 5. how to appreciate secs for procreation FIRST, recreation a DISTANT second. why abortion is bad. why open relationships and polyamory are bullshit. what love is. how to Empathize with Beta and Omega guys who come off as Creepy or Thirsty.  How To Be Loyal and Loving to your man. How to look to the long term and not dump a decent guy immediately, how not to lose interest so quickly, how to not be mastered by vag tingles and hamster rationalizations hahahaha.

basically teach traditional, natural gender roles and make it look fun and cool. it really shouldnt be that hard. it should come naturally. but people are so easily led astray its very disappointing. maybe they can just as easily be led back to the good path. give them a good culture with traditional mother and father.

anyway the fascists say that if youve been watching pron for years its gonna take a few months cold turkey before your brain goes back to “normal”, a state you may not even remember. it feels like its been a few months for me. and i understood pron has been degenerate, for years, and tried to minimize its use during the last few years. also i think i was using it to try to get my mind of THAT PERSON.

anyway i am OBSESSED with women but i dont really hate women like some obvious women haters. its really more like a LOVE HATE relationship hahahahahahahaha.

alls im saying. really hurts and is disorienting to lose somebody like this. i still dont really understand it any better. i just seem to accept it and the pain isnt so goddamn FRESH. but it still lingers and its truly horrible what happened. it hurts to lose a friend like that. and to be so goddamn misunderstood when youre just begging them to LISTEN, i didnt do anything WRONG, PLEASE.

like when your gf is mad at you and gives you that exasperated look and youre like oh god i dont even know what i DID. and then thats the end and she dumps you hahahahahaha. she has permanently lost interest and luv for you. she is DONE with you. its over.

i dunno. i never lost interest for someone that fast. or easily. im still interested in her ffs.

dunno. she really DID used to like me as a person. and its shocking she could get so over that, that she could throw me away like she never knew me. sheeeeeit. well thank god for being white hahahahaha.

point is, and im mansplaining feeeeelings to women agian, when someone you LOVE throws you away harshly, its VERY painful, it leaves you DEVASTATED, and it takes a VERY LONG TIME to heal from it.