ALT RIGHT VVN 14VV JAYCUE

dec 14

hmmm been more busy with job related stuff that i thought. it is technically easy and almost enjoyable. but also want to impress people and show initiative and show that i am smart and prove myself and KICK ASS.

stayed up too late reading the new BERNARD CHAPIN book MAN GOING HIS OWN WAY

which according to amazon, IS supposed to be 8.5 x 11 inches big.

i mean its not perfect. he’s really not the greatest writer. and i have read BOTH his other books. he always has entertaining stories to tell and strong opinions to share, but i honestly see better WRITING from the posters on TRS or MPC. And Bern is a voracious reader and has a masterz degree, you’d think he’d write a little better. but alot of the stuff reads like a first draft.

NO MATTER. HE IS A GOOD MAN AND DESERVES YOUR SUPPORT.

Like his videos and him talking are a lot better, more engaging, than his writing. So when I read his writing, I always imagine him reading it in his style, which makes it seem better.

tons of juicy stories about his rels with women. and they are not flattering stories. tbh he comes across as an immature dick and thats why these women leave him hahahahahahahah. but they don’t really leave him, he leaves them! or he is such an asshole to them that he intentionally pushes them away! why didnt you just dump the gurl yourself Uncle B? well, he was only 19 or 20 years old so i can forgive him. Also i appreciate the honesty of him admitting to being a jealous monster. I know that feel bro hahahaha. but he was only a jealous monster once in his life, for one woman, for a few months, and then he stopped. never beat anybody up. never abused anybody. in fact he gradually lost interest in HER afterwards and she dumped him and he was HAPPY.

so yeah i cannot identify with ANY of that hahahahaha.

also if i’m reading this correctly, he has banged more women than years he’s been alive. or at least when he was 32, his number was positive. this is his “number” and i thought it was interesting. taken from hockey. forgot what its called. over under, positive negative, plus minus? basically number of gurls you banged minus your age, and hope you get a positive number, but when he was in his 20s, he had a negative number. like i would have over a -30 hahahaha. i thought it was an interesting metric hahahaha. good one bern.

Bern says matt forney was editor/proofreader, actually I think Forney is probably a better WRITER than Chapin, although a lamer GUY hahahaha. Forney is like if Chapin had never banged 30 women hahahaha. No I was reading Forney back when he was IN MALA FIDE. I am OLD FOOKIN SKOOL. I just am concerned that forney and chapin encourage each others worst habits, namely, mgtowism and not wanting a waifu hahaha. chapin has felt the innate spark within to have children so i give him credit for that, that’s what really matters. but he is dead set against a wife, and seems resigned to the fact he prob wont have children. that is too bad. i still want him to impregnate a 20 year old white gurl. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

and forney is a fat sad bastard who drinks too much and bangs nonwhite sluts. i cannot and will not approve.

but i wont crap on forney too much. he makes a living from writing and all that. i would just really like it if he got in shape and committed himself to hardcore, alt right, 1488, WN. submitted to TRS and let them mold him hahahaha.

anyway yeah the book could be better but it could be a lot worse. but i still had tons of questions:

what kind of effort did bernard make in these relships?

why did he just lose interest?

talk more about his relship with his father. his mother. his sister.

talk more about his career, graduate school. for a very very masculine man, he picked a very very feminine field!!! (psychology, school psychology.) but i don’t doubt his masculinity one bit either.

i just think he is honestly a SPERG who has some difficulty socializing. maybe. but yeah i will always feel SOME sort of connection to him because he helped me get where I am now, and I have spent countless hours listening to infernos. i mean he is a really entertaining, fun speaker.

did he ever have EXTREME DOUBTS about himself? bouts of TOTAL DESPAIR? I don’t really think so.

how did he prepare for Grad School? Were his Grad School papers better written than his books?

how is it THAT hard for him to get along with women?

talk more about male friends.

actually i think he DOES talk about SOME of this in “escape from gangsta island” which was a nice long book, I enjoyed that one too. just can’t remember the details.

Bernards a Good Boi Dindu Nuffin, would just like him to come fully over to the 1488 Alt Right and its pretty cringeworthy when he says that NSDAP/AH were total MARXISTS.  hmmmmmm. Marxist Leftists.

He talks about going on JDate in this book and he seems to be aware of J’ish identity. it was a hilarious story. his Alpha Male friend pretty much dared him to go on JDate in return for a cash loan when Bern was broke from going out with 10 women at the same time. Then he was going out with 14 women at the same time. he got so bored, berned out, frustrated, and annoyed, that he said FOOK THIS SHIT and basically RETIRED from women. Modern women are stupid, annoying, intolerable, unlikeable, I’d literally rather be alone. And he has been alone ever since hahahaha. he is definitely a very PRINCIPLED man hahaha. I just wish he had better luck with the women and met some damn DECENT women already. I think it was a mix of his stubbornness and terrible luck that did it. he saw the worst of the worst. really he should have stayed with his first GF, and not dumped her when they were 16 hahahahaha. but he said she was boring, they had nothing to talk about, nothing in common, she was just smokin hot and generally nice to him, so that was good enough for 6 months or so.

i dunno, i never dated a gurl for 6 months with regular banging, so i wouldnt know! maybe you CAN get bored with a person like that!

he is an interesting case. he says he is introverted and awkward, yet he powered through that and did “WORK”, facing his fear and approaching thousands of women, horribly and awkwardly, and was able to bang dozens of apparently awful, immature, horrible, intolerable, childish women who were not relship worthy.

i know a large part of this is him hanging around with yuppies and professionals and SWPLs in chicago.

i dunno. i just feel he was never in the right place at the right time. what if he were young NOW, with a growing alt right. even I am getting too old. thankfully I’m not THAT old. I’m not SO old that I can’t be part of the alt right. i sure wish i were 10 years younger though. better than wishing you were 22 years younger i guess. Bernard was still Slaying Poosay when he was my age hahahaha.  or maybe he had JUST become a proto-MGTOW. remember: he is “SO OLD” that MGTOW was a BRAND NEW thing when he was in his 30’s. sheeeeeit. how can you be 46 and SUPER OLD. it’s NOT super old. but now MGTOW is clearly old, outdated, tried and failed, discarded, moving on to something better. continuous improvement. still guys like me and def bernard have been molded somewhat by mgtow, will always have a mgtow streak in us. i dont think its a BAD thing.

but yeah im not as much like bernard as i thought i guess. i mean i always knew he had a TON of experience with women, but i guess this just proves it. BUT has he ever really been in a SOLID rel for 2 years or longer? I cant say. well i havent gotten to the chapter about his WIFE yet. I guess she was REALLY crazy. he jumps all around. he has barely even MENTIONED his wife yet. knowing his jumpy writing style, he might skip over the wife altogether.

I mean I should really just have a skype meeting or phone call with bernard already, he’d probably be willing.

yeah i cant think of anyone i really want to TALK to tho. I’m perfectly fine reading their books, peoples forum poasts, watching their youtube vidyas, i dont really want to have a CONVERSATION with anyone. except maybe people from TRS, MAYBE. esp local people for real life meetups. there is actually a TRS group in muh city area which I have not contacted them about at all. guess Im not really serious about the 14 words then!

Back a few months ago, i really want to talk to and have a conversation with That Woman. Now I am like meh. its DEFINITELY too late for that. it would no longer be productive. it would just be very frustrating and pointless and stupid and angering for me.

yeah i guess i wouldnt mind talking to varg vikernes. maybe weev. hahahahaha. maybe george foreveralone feels. me and him a really alike, we could have a good talk, we would understand each other. i would tell him the secret to losing weight is simply eating less. you eat 400 calories over the limit and you are still starving hahahaha. hungry all the time for a year. that’s how you lose 20% of your body weight hehehehe.

oooo i was happy about this hand:

2016-12-14-21_23_29-carom-0-01_0-02-no-limit-holdem-replay-13645490

ALWAYS happy to get NUT FLUSH and especially to DOUBLE UP on it. does not happen too often!

but yeah bernard got burned out because he was going on date after date after date with woman after woman after woman and was getting bored with their stories and it sounded like going on damn job interviews. thats no fun. he probably just needed to take a break from Dating, and then he could enjoy women more. but maybe im wrong. i mean he did date women after this!

maybe i just wish bernard would hang out with TRS, WN and alt right 1488 fascists, rather than hanging out with forney, clarey, and aurini. who are not BAD GUYS per se…….. no they are good guys, but i just gotta go with the STRONG HORSE.

not that those guys are “WEAK”….well TRS and the WN alt right are just about as strong as it gets IMHO. If they came over to this side, it would make them stronger too. doors open fellas. well they say clarey is a “technical j00” hahahaha.

AT THE DRIVE IN REUNION? i guess I shouldnt be so surprised. Jeez I should really think about going to this tho. maybe its a total sellout thing without orig members. like the black flag “reunion” hehehehe. jeez i bet it will sell out immediately. if i still knew that woman i would ask her to go and she would reject me and go to the same concert with another guy and then i might go by myself and see her there with him hahahahahaha.

no i dont think she knew of at the drive in. shit i barely know them. i just know they are hugely influential and ahead of their time and broke up too soon and led to the mars volta……but i guess mars volta isnt as huge as they were like 8 years ago eh? they used to be really big with the hip music kids.

heh. i guess this has been going on for a while and they already played in my city in summer 2016 hehehehehehe.

sheeeeit i always end up staying up too late!!!!!!

dec 15

sam hyde speaks frankly about his show being cancelled from adult swim. i have no idea what happened here. was it because sam is an alt right racist hehehehe. i mean i was surprised he even GOT a show on tv to begin with. and i would like sam to speak ideologically, i want to know what he REALLY believes. not that i suspect him, i think he probably is legit 1488 alt right.

hearing stories of successful, motivated, ambitious young students. reading press releases. an 18 year old “bad boy” goes to prison for 3 years for drug deal, gets a job afterwards, returns to skool, eager to complete a degree in engineering. maybe by age 25 he can get a 40k a year stem job and he’s spent 3 years in PRISON hahahaha.

people who switch their major 10 times by age 19 and finally settle on MATH, and are working with math faculty, plan on getting a phd in math. 20 year old girls who like the thrill of explaining advanced math to people and seeing the light bulb. a 20 year old undergrad can teach math better than many instructors with graduate degrees, even phd’s.

ironic that us smart kids used to make fun of the college as where the losers and fookups and lazy kids and trash goes, and i went to a Good University, and now I see that the 20 year old kids at the Fookup College are bigger winners than I am at age 30!

I don’t begrudge them, good for them i say, i am glad to change my Preconceived notions of the college and its students, and now I freely admit they are great people doing amazing things. I wish I had gone there when I was 20 hehehe instead of going to Good Univ.

So yeah, good for these kids. but i ENVY them, being so young and motivated and having their Shit Together. if they lose their way, they are back on their way by 25 at the absolute latest. not still fooking around at 35 hahahaha. so yeah i can only read so many Success Stories before I’m like damn. these young kids are huge winners and I’m an even bigger loser than I thought!

Having to explain to people why you didnt go to graduate skool. because you didnt like skool. because you didnt think it would be a good investment. because you werent willing to kick ass in your program. well then why should we HIRE you? why should I pick YOU as a husband and father of muh children when you arent MOTIVATED to work hard, be successful, and make even slightly above average money? very valid questions.

i mean these people aren’t really SMARTER than me, they just have a much better WORK ETHIC. working on long term goals, being persistent and resilient and never giving up. whereas i give up too easily hehehe.

yeah well but i dont really give up until I am about ready to K myself with panic hahahahaha. also, I ALWAYS try to do a good job and have GREAT attendance at jobs. when I was getting PAID, I ALWAYS tried to do my best.  also i got good grades in school, followed instructions, did the stuff on time, and high quality, did well on tests. just couldnt translate that into a career.

funny to be thinking all this when i am actually more successful than ive been in 17 months hahahahaha. but now I am seeing and hearing about all these successful young people and I am envious of them and disappointed in myself, wish i had the GUTS and the TOUGHNESS that they have.

yeah prob get really tired at the end of tonight like i did last thursday. sleep like the dead. drinking a lot of coffee today.

hmm tom petty summer tour. thats on bucket list way more than at the drive in. FIFTY DOLLARS for lawn tickets. i mean its 35 plus 15 damn dollars for all the goddam jooish fees. COME ON. i would pay 35 dollars. 50 is rougher. i mean maybe i will change my mind. not like lawn is gonna SELL OUT. i mean i should see TOM PETTY. would rather see tom petty than bob dylan. why cant petty play a medium sized theatre. more importantly, why are tickets to a goddam open air megatheatre so goddam expensive???? they should be less than 20 bucks. you can cram 100000 people in here.

varg v made an anti alt right video and i was like hmm i think me and him are thinking of different things hehehe. you need to come hang out with the TRS goys hahaha. then he started talking shit about andrew anglin and i was like ayo hol up. i like both varg and anglin of course. and i accept varg is just not gonna give an inch on his anti christian stuff. thats technically fine. then varg linked to this other guy who did this expose on anglin which is supposed the truth about why AA is an “anti white zionist shill” and sounds like some real sinead tier shit hahahaha. anyway i would like to listen to all of this and hear what he’s actually saying.

http://www.dailystormer.com/andrew-anglin-exposed/

heres anglins reponse i guess, which i already had bookmarked from months ago hehehehe

and now varg is dissing spencer because spencer associates with the joo “gottfried”? i have never heard of gottfried before today. heheheh movement drama.

official (((atlantic))) 11 minute documentary on RS came out today

posting here for posterity

suprsingly good, good stuff in there with millennial woes and william regnery, who i want to know how much money he has given to The Cause, i feel this guy is more important than he seems hahaha.

oh come on this just isnt fair hahahahaha. i am starting to really warm up to spencer finally. turns out they just did a podcast with spencer AND k1ke enoch AND andre anglin. NOICE. DOUBLE BONER hahahahaha.

maybe varg can talk shit about enoch too hahaha. i am disappoint hehehehe.

i mean really anglin should have gone to NPI. i think enoch went. or maybe sven hehehe. some trs higher ups. somebody saw the mysterious enoch in person hahaha. shit. he keeps hanging out with richard spencer and someones gonna get a damn photo of him hehehe.

heh. wonder if the trs convention in early 2017 will get press. probably will. theroretically i could try to beg trs for an invite. ideally i would like to go. that is going to be OFF THE CHAINS. i’m just wondering if media joos and antifa joos will notice and start reporting on it like they did with NPI. its possible TRS might EXPLODE in popularity at that time.

anyway now i feel impostor syndrome, and also lazy, like i’m not willing to do the outside work to learn the shit for my job. yet i read email and job related stuff all the time off the clock. but i’m not doing the MOST effective stuff, studying the HIGHEST PRIORITY stuff. and i am worried about that biting me in the ass.

not used to not being micromanaged. but i am used to receiving unclear directions and then trying to Act On them hahahahaha. not that im even GETTING that here. im still trying to figure out exactly what i’m getting….other than i can immediately tell that the people are very nice, and its going to be a lot different, in a good way, but there still are unknowns like…..i cant even say! theyre unknown unknowns! the sense of being in a new environment! it just takes time! you cant rush it! time to used muh radical acceptance hahaha.

dec 16

6 more inches of snow? will have gotten like 16 inches of snow by xmas. last year had no snow by xmas. none of these below 10 degree days for xmas. already a brutal winter and its not technical winter yet! bad news. dont know HOW i ever survived without winter boots for like 2 years (because there wasnt a lot of snow!) or especially warm winter socks (yeah this was a smart move. cant stop wearing these. try not to wear them in public or when trying to make a good impression, its just at home and errands and that type of stuff, not when i am WORKING or trying to Compete for a Wife.

had weird dream where i was visiting an old college-era friend of mine, one of those guys you will always remember fondly and be thankful for meeting. talked about him before. super cool good decent guy, super smart, great sense of humor, great personality, got phd in disgusting antiwhite cultural marxism unfort, haven’t talked to him in…..6 years. hmmm. but i will always remember him and wish him well! i hope he find a good wife and has some kids. it would be a CRIME AGAINST NATURE for him not to have at least 3 white kids. he would be a great father. Like me, he was a HIGHLY Moral, Principled man…..but he was a lot more cool about it. seemed to have it mastered a lot better, hehehe. didnt STRUGGLE so much. made it look easy. Maybe a part of this is that we both spent our youths in catholic schools, so we are Typical Catholic Assholes hahahaha. but yeah the catholics would be lucky to have this guy representing them, but I don’t think he has Gotten Back To The Church. Shit I haven’t really gotten back to the church. I just go every week and Mull Things Over and think how one can be a Catholic Alt Right White Nationalist hahahaha. Same way you can be a Degenerate Abortionist Catholic I guess hahahahaha.

mornings are for coffee and contemplation as the phaggot cop in the “Stranger things” commercial says. NO phaggot, mornings are for being SLAMMED with Urgent, Complex, Heroic, Exhausting WORK, just like afternoons and evenings hahahaha. Free at last, thank GOD ALMIGHTY hahahaha.

adorable, beautiful, and important pro-family 14 words vidya by varg. his heart is in the right place, we want the same things, he just misunderstands the alt right and anglin and spencer, but i’ll allow it because his heart is in the right place and we want the same things and he is clearly a Trve WN committed to the 14W and the things that MATTER.

to me, MY alt right is synonymous with Alt Right. For Varg it is not. he dislikes the term Alt Right; I have no problem with it. FINE. But I would be SHOCKED if he took issue wth the term WN. How could he have a problem with that term.

I should leave him a comment saying this. he would probably reply. bbbbbut I would really like to have a LIVE VOICE CHAT with him. but he’s never done one of those. no interviews, no conversations. he really SHOULD. even bernard started doing these. good for him. really TALK to people.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC79N-Hh5_Zhs_MPLP3QzAJA

go sub to alt right andy. i don’t THINK this is andrew anglin, maybe it is, but the POINT is, this guy uploads like a best of the alt right all day every day: trs podcasts, non trs podcasts, all solid stuff, recent and older, of huhwhyte-friendly stuff that’s not on youtube, he puts it on youtube. very convenient aggregator hahahaha.

http://www.radixjournal.com/tees/official-radix-t-shirt

heh i should probably give a few bucks to richard spencer. i thought YKW aka the JQ shut down his paypal, but apparently they did NOT. also NPI is a 5013c org, which i did not know. wouldnt be surprised to see that go away.

hehehehe i just pledged 1 fecking dolla a month to both matt foney and emily youcis. i felt bad about joining trs in making fun of tubby sad thirsty forney hahahaha. he’s a good writer and he is SO CLOSE. he goes to NPI and amren. i just want to push him further though. lose weight or especially become a damn WN 1377 man. he’s almost there, he just remains deluded in not wanting to seem like a racist. and is afraid to touch the JQ too much. i mean JQ is pretty much the final red pill. there’s the people who never talk about it, and then the people who talk about it a LOT, like me hahahaha. or varg. or TRS. pretty sure spencer does too.

or its a beautiful thing to WATCH a smart white man take the JQ Redpill. we got to watch this evolution every step of the way with millennial woes. as he says in the atlantic video, 3 years ago he didnt even think about it, or was just starting to think about it. and now he has followed it to its logical conclusion. which is why i give him 50% more than i am pledging forney hahahaha.

anyway the dream i had. i was visiting my old friend for the first time in years, and to my horror, THAT WOMAN was one of like 6 people who lived in his house. I never saw that woman, just her name on a mailbox or something. my friend couldn’t be blamed, he didn’t know of her history with me.

there was i think an implication that he might be dating that woman now! this was very unclear tho. but even if that were the case, i couldn’t be mad at him, because again, he had no idea that that woman ever knew me.

thankfully i never SAW that woman in the dream. just her Spectre, hehehehe.

yeah i would prob date emily youcis even if she had great potential to have a potato body and i really hate potato bodies, or women that have such YUGE Melon Heavy Breasts that they will certainly become horrendously saggy. despite these cons she has a very QT face. and her huge breasts would be neat for the next 5-10 years at least.

i like that she

a. faced consequences for her actions, which never happens to women, ie, she took a stand and lost her friends and lost her job.

b. she repented for her past degeneracy and is moving in the right direction even after being punished for it.

pretty principled and honorable and moral for a WOMAN!!!!!

i mean most women start out good and go bad pretty fast. she started out kinda degen and then GOT BETTER. i tip muh fedora to any mlady who can IMPROVE herself like that. to say no, fook this shit, this shit is WRONG, i want to be a BETTER PERSON. so thats why emily has earned my 1 feckin dolla a month. also pretty sure i would mostly enjoy making out, secs, and cuddling with her hahaha.

if her cartoon gets more degen instead of less then i can always stop my pledge hahahaha. cuz it is a very degen cartoon. but it’s better for a woman to do a solitary, creative pursuit, than to be out there sucking, fooking, cheating, and breaking real people’s hearts. a woman who can spend time alone by herself, rather than out in the world causing damage and Relational Violence and pain and suffering hahahaha.

im aware she probably sm0ked tons of MJ and odds are maybe even banged nonwhites. did that degen thing called “smut cave.” believe me i will stop giving her 12 dollars a year if she goes back to any of that shit! but i believe people can change! i want to change too! but its def not easy!

andy griffith show. this seems pretty wholesome, huhwhyte, and nonjooish. was don knotts a joo? LETS FIND OUT.

https://anon.to/?https://www.stormfront.org/forum/t273603-2/

i support stormfront in theory as large, old community of honest pro-whites, but i dont really trust don black to manage the money. i know i donated like 2 dollars to them at some point but no more hahaha.

also if i link directly to them, they will prob find me. happened with another blog. when i was just starting to get into pro white stuff in 2010-12. i was not as directly “I AM A FULL BLOWN WN” as i am now, more like i was open to the idea. then somebody posted a thread on stormfront pointing out muh blog, linking to it. did not generate any responses thank god.

anyway stormfront says don knotts was NOT jooish, but one guy had to have a post saying andy griffith is not as wholesome as it seems, and is in fact subversive, perverted jooish trash hahahaha.

they say don knotts’ comedy style was jooish, pure catskill borscht belt shit, and the AG show producer was aaron ruben, a yuge J.

i’ll allow these arguments hahahaha. not NOT an argument hehehehe.

born in west virginia to english stock. pretty sure west virginia is the huhwhytest state in the US. I should srsly move there. not even joking.

anyway point is, don knotts seems like a nice honest man to me. maybe he was self deprecating because he was short and petite, not because he was worshipping jooish comedians.

honestly once you take the Joo pill, theres no going back hahahaha. you see EVERYTHING through that lens. and i think thats a GOOD thing.

heh. went to catholic church for standard xmastime confession service. i never ever do the thing where you confess your sins in the confessional, havent done that since i was like 12 hahaha. usually do this thing where you write your sins on a small piece of paper, give it to the priest, they bless you right there without really reading the paper, put the paper in a metal garbage cans, then burn them at the end. symbolic. well that is a bit of a controversial procedure in that some higher ups dont agree that its a proper trve confession. might be heresy hahaha. so this year there was a more proper “group reconciliation” thing where they had 5 priests, and you lined up and actually TALKED TO THE PRIEST for 2 minutes confessing your sins in person. so i was nervous about that. did it anyway. no worse than the phone calls i had to take 20 times a day for muh job hahahaha. just ramble autistically about how i am selfish and judgemental and racist and sexist and lustful and lazy and hateful and a complainer and lukewarm and judge everybody etc etc etc.

http://archive.is/TX6mq

paul gottfried, richard spencers jooish “mentor.” article in the tablet, a ridiculously jooish journal, nov 2016, which charges 180 dollars a YEAR to be able to COMMENT on their WEBSITE. WOW. I CANT EVEN. I AM LITERALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/263988/some-observations-man-who-created-alt-right-paul-gottfried

gottfried himself writes an article, not gonna blame him for that stupid title tho. TLDR hahahaha. he admits to at one time being a friend of spencer. well does spencer admit to being a friend of him? i dont even care if he is hahahaha. i mean this gottfried is probably one of the good joos. hes still gotta go back tho. even the good joos must go back. the bad far outweighs the good. kinda like blacks and muslims and browns and mestizos hahahahahaha and nonwhites in general.

uh oh getting prejudiced and judgemental again, better watch out or i will have to go back to confession hahaha.

 

 

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WHY IS POPULISM BAD

nov 19

ok this post should be shorter, hahaha. 4000 words max

i always liked jack lemmons uptight, nerdy, supplicating, neurotic style. it seems pretty jooish but i dont know if he was a joo. varg LETS FIND OUT.wav

” He was the only child of Mildred Burgess LaRue (née Noel) and John Uhler Lemmon, Jr., the president of a doughnut company.[2][3] His paternal grandmother was from an Irish immigrant family.[4]    ”

looks like not a joo. thank god hahaha.

yeah i mean i wish a bigboy FT job had picked me rather than this littlegurl PT job, it puts me back into the same conundrum i had when i was 26 except im not a young man of 26 anymore! but the good news is it lets me fix the GAP, and its also guaranteed not to give me a nervous breakdown hahaha. i just cant start any drama with WOMEN, and also i cant lose sight of the fact that i have to move on from there fairly quickly. ideally i would get a ft job with the same company.

i was very often trying to work for and win womens approval. with That Woman, at the beginning, i wasnt working at all. i mean i was doing shit, but i wasnt struggling and scheming and planning and strategizing and calculating and overthinking. we just got along veyr well and beause of that she liked me and i liked her. but not in that way. yet.

and then when i DID start liking her in that way, it all became that damn chess game where i had to figure out How To Make Her like me back.  it is an exhausting struggle that i have NEVER won.

but yeah either the woman likes you or she doesnt. either she s going to going to give you a chance or not.

and even when i have gotten as far as making out or Casual Dating with a woman…….it wasnt really HARD. there was enough Natural “Chemistry” or attraction to get me THAT far……but no further.

new crowbar album november 2016 “the serpent only lies”. i always liked crowbar but my peak with them was “oddfellows rest” in 2000! great album, possib muh fav of theirs. since then i havent been following them too much just because they are always releasing albums.

yeah EXCEPT they went on a solid hiatus for like 6 years while kirk focused on down. and since down is not looking super hopeful, i am glad he is doing stuff with crowbar.

i mean crowbar is very HONEST and SINCERE and REAL and keeps it REALLY REAL and there is absolutely nothing PHONY about them.

also i really dont think kirk is a joo. some white power guy on the internet has him on a list of joos but i doubt this.  mean his lifestyle is total working class white guy whitelash.

i know he had some struggles with drinking but not super hard drugs or anything. i wonder if he smokes MJ every day like a degenegro. PROBABLY hahahaha. now he just gets raging drunk less. i dont think he quit drinking altogether.

so yeah he’s not a model aryan ubermensch, just a flawed normie, and i believe his heart is in the right place, and i can respect someone who has an Instantly REcognizable Musical Style, which he does. no one else in the world sounds like this. he is Not Derivative at all. he’s been doing that for 30 years. he is all about good riffs and good songs and very honest unpretentious lyrics about being Tuff and Overcoming Adversity. how can you dislike that?

his main flaw is basically just getting sloppy drunk, or at least he used to, and i hope he doesnt anymore.

i dunno i did see down like 3 times with him and….he was one of those guys that probably could get totally fooked up and still play very well.

technically once i was face to face with him and said hello and shook his hand hahahahaha.

i was in this same situation 2 years ago with their previous album: oh i like and respect crowbar, i will always give crowbar a chance, i wish i was more familiar with their later stuff.

maybe their later stuff just isnt as GOOD hahahaha.

i dunno, on the surface it certainly doesnt seem BAD!!!!! i mean its textbook crowbar!

but yeah albums like “broken glass” and “oddfellows rest” had a MAGIC for me, and i am wondering if thats because crowbar had more MAGIC back then, or I had more magic back then when i was young and innocent.

but yeah even if i cant REMEMBER any of the last 5 crowbar albums, i will always respect what they do.

also i think kirk became RELIGIOUS with their 3rd most recent album hahahaha. like CATHOLIC i think. which is bretty kewl imho. wish he talked more about that. figured it would be more of a controversy.

anyway i just hope he is a good father to his child/ren. i know he has at least one.

i know that he was married and was divorced. was she a piece of trash? was it because he was drinking too much?  what about the children?

anyway, as with all white men, i hope he is trying not to be a drunk degenerate, and is being a good father. the fact that he can write such honest music is a signal that he has good intentions.

yeah the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but they mean something to ME at least hahahaha. better to have good intentions than not, i say. its worth SOMETHING.

had dream last night that i was in AUSTRALIA with a group of people including TWO of the young qt women i used to work with when i was 26 to 30 hahaha. yeah and That Woman was a third woman of those. i only meet qt women at muh job hahahaha. thankfully That Woman was not in the dream. but woman2012 was! and also this other qt dark haired gurl that got married kinda young.

dont remember much about the dream other than near the end, i was kinda getting ostracized from the group. or i was being a dick and i ostracized myself. either way, i no longer had a chance with either of those two women. that sucked hahahaha. just wanted some cuddle and make out and hang out and romance action. i only had good intentions. i didnt want to use anybody for casual bullshit.

so i would have dated 2 girls at once? yeah but i would have been honest about it hahahaha. and if foreced to choose i would prob choose woman2012 because she had longer legs and a bigger ass hahahahahahahahahahahaha

and then tell the other gurl, SORRY for hurting your feelings, youre a good person, you wont have ANY PROBLEM finding a decent man.

they are finally coming out with the black metal lords of chaos and they are having a guy named COHEN play varg vikernes hahahahahaha. WOW. i wonder what he will say about that.

yeah i mean i will probably watch it just for fun, im sure it will be horrible. but hopefully FUN at least.

darkthrone told them NO you cant use our logo or our music. i respect anyone who can turn down free shekels like that.

but i also think, well, they have lives and families, and the shekels could HELP them!

but the movie does sound really really really jooish hehehe.

i would totally let darkthrone play a show for 100 grand tho. that is MUCH less jooish.

play the show, give the money to your kids, build a home in the country far away from the urbanite, raise 5 kids like varg in the country. be like varg. varg should play a show for 100 grand hahahaha. he could say whatever he wanted and then never get invited back because he would hopefully say a ton of antis3m1t1c and pro-white stuff!!! hahaha.

or not play ANY songs, and just give a pro-white speech for hours hahahaha. well i would want him to play songs though haha.

and all the drunk degenerates would be like boooo racism. i mean really. its pearls before swine.

so have the show be a very exclusive alt right invite only thing, where you can onyl get invited if you pass an interview process proving your pro white bona fides. then they could raise money from rich successful white pro-whites to give to varg. might not be as much as some jooish festival promoter tho hahahaha.

unrelated but this album could also be good. epic atmospheric pagan black metal with some celtic angle and great cover art hahaha. also brand new. i guess i am into super newly released music again. thanks deathspell omega hahaha.

yeah this sounds very promising, little long tho

plus i like the scots hahahaha

got those whistles and flutes and bagpipes, very nice, i will accept this in muh atmoblack hahahaha he is a nationalist but doesnt quite realize it yet hahaha.

i think me MIGHT be an american but he moved to scotland. glasgow. not sure if the guy from panopticon (austin lunn) plays drums on this like he did for saor’s last album “aura.”

no its a guy from this other scottish black metal band hehehehe.

ok andy marshall of saor does anoter scottish atmo black band called fuath, good job buddy, writing 2 albums of epid 16 minute songs, in 1 year hahaha. he also had bands before saor called askival and in vino veritas. dunno guess i just like the idea of SCOTTISH BLACK METAL hahahaha and this guy is pretty much the biggest name in it.

(shit i saw a picture of him where he had big faggy ear gauges. seriously. kids in 2016 still do this. never understand that shit. DEGENERATE. )

well with me and music, i kinda have to go where the spirit takes me. its not supposed to make sense or be logical or even necessarily good music hahahaha.

welp listened to that crowbar album, it sounded exactly like crowbar. their sense of consistency is something you make a good natured joke about at this point. hey i dont really want them to do anything different, just make good songs. well i mean for example i know kirk is a big led zeppelin fan, so why dont they write a song with some LZ influences? also i would like to see more Mellow and Clean Singing songs, because he has a GREAT clean voice, spine chilling. they started doing occasional Clean songs in 1999 hahahah so its nothing really NEW.

heh. you know whos NOT degenerate? GARTH BROOKS. thats right. i decided i should really start listening to garth brooks. hes not part of this super faggy new school of jooified “country” and he is a nice family man who retired from a super popular career to spend more time with his kids. and now that his kids are grown, he’s coming back a little bit, playing more shows.

hes a little bit SILLY of a guy but i think thats because he genuinely enjoys life in a non degen way hahaha.

and he is a very good performer.

george strait would also be acceptable to listen to hahahaha.

i thought this shit was corny and lame during the 90s, but it was probably the least degen popular music available in the nihilistic 90s, and also country music got much much much much much much much worse over the next 20 years!

ok so my new  job goal is to write as many super duper detailed, epic, heroic, miraculous WORK STORIES as possible. get at LEAST 10. so i can have a RAFT of SUPER DETAILED, SUPER AWESOME STORIES chock full of specific detail in future interviews.

i had some work stories now, but the key thing that i forgot to do back then, was WRITE THEM DOWN AS SOON AS THEY HAPPEN, DAY OF, AS MANY DETAILS AS POSSIBLE, and then you can always edit it later.

and you SHOULD edit it later, to make yourself look smarter and better. the important thing is that there are a TON of details.

get at least ten of these stories and you should then be able to interview your way into a better job. maybe be worthy dating women that almost look as good as transsexual men hahahahahahahahahahaha

hey they are plenty of terrible looking transsexual men, they arent all think young feminine looking qts hahahaha, some of them actually look like big burly crowbar esque men ahhahahahaha.

i cant believe i didnt write down work stories before. i had so many of them! i know i TALKED about them into my recorder. i could do back and listen to those tapes and then write the stories out. but apparently i didnt want to do that!

it would have been better to smuggle out the case notes….but i stopped doing that a few months in.

so i could have done THAT from home, i had access to case notes from home, i could have just copied and pasted.

but i was so fried and burnt out and broken down, i couldnt even think of obvious, easy solutions like that.

shit just copy down the top 20% of interesting, weird, or detailed cases! just copy the weirdest ones!

wewlad just got down to lowest weight evar, 132 lbs. i mean its POSSIBLE i weighed less than this like 12 years ago!!!!! but not recently! and i am old as shit and at basically the lowest weight i have ever been! so thats good! i mean i could actually get away with GAINING weight at this point…..but i dont really want to do that.

USE YOUR WORDS TO COMMUNICATE. AND USE UNAMBIGUOUS WORDS, not words like “like” or “hang out.”

well at least she feels bad about breaking her bfs heart hahahaha. sounds like she feels REALLY bad about it hahaha. GOOD. YOU SHOULD hahahaha.

no sorta kidding, she shouldnt feel THIS bad if she made a good faith attempt to dump him in a sensitive way, without trying to add insult to injury.

“sounds like she didnt have much respect for your relship if she dumped you with a TEXT” hahahahahaha

yeah i THOUGHT she had MORE RESPECT for me than that

and i thought i knew her better than that.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

still wanna sm0ke mad w33d.

still thinking about going to a SHADY ASS “doctor” in a dispensary on “doctor day”, saying i dont have any medical records, and that ive been getting persistent chronic pain in muh….back. carpal tunnel. then getting the card sent to a po box. then just let the po box expire once i have the card and i am buying tonnes of MJ hahahaha.

its like a prescription that NEVER RUNS OUT. that alone is rather unbelievable.

go to a doctor ONCE, have a card to buy drugs FOREVER. well, for 2 years. even still, could you imagine getting a 2 year prescription to buy as much Painkillers as you wanted? as much benzos as you wanted? for 2 full years! INCONCEIVABLE!!!!!

nov 20

sheeeeeeeeeeeit.

ok on my first day i gotta bring in donuts or bagels.

also gotta be dressed like a damn boss.

i dont think they wear suits every day there hahaha.

ok there is a 24 hour tim hortons nearby, so i can get some donuts and bring them in at 8 am hahaha

then they will judge and bullycide and abuse me for being uneducated, trump supporting and racist enough to buy such racist, hateful, bigoted donuts. donuts are what FAT BIGOTS like COPS eat.

i am being Silly but thats not far off from my usual line of Distorted Thinking, which has wrought massive anxiety and despair in muh life hahahaha

EVERYBODY HATES THE DESPERATE. nobody likes desperate people. employers, women, kool kids, winners. all shun and shame the desperate.

you know who LUVS the desperate?

JESUS! GAWWWDDDDD!!!!!!

so never forget that. when its lonely desperate you and the world is against you, JESUS is on your side. and LUVS you just as much as he luvs TRVMP.

hell yes i support jeff sessions for atty general. but the question is, how does he feel about joos. it could go both ways. some of these southern bigots luv joos and israhell and are not j wise at ALL.

SEE? ALL THOSE TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE HUGE WHITELASH RACISTS!!!!!

no they arent, just the alt right subset hahahaha.

and at least half of them are polite and nice like neoreactionaries. and dont use hate speech like I do hahahaha.

so yeah i do not represent trvmp, nor do i represent the average trvmp supporter, who is probably WAY less racist than me hahahahahaha.

so whats the deal with jobs where they dont even tell you the salary range during the interview, you have to get to the second interview just to get a god damn IDEA, when its not a 60k a year job were talking about, its more like 30k job. you dont GET to be so circumspect about salary for a 30k job…….well yes of course you do!

but yeah being TOUGH, thats always been a problem for me. tough situations in life that SHOULD act as a crucible to toughen me up and make me into a better, stronger man…..i always break down and become a weaker, bigger loser.

anyway WOMEN. dont have such SHALLOW relationships. take PEOPLE more seriously. PEOPLE are important, relationships are important, intimacy is important. cuddling is SUPPOSED to build intimacy, sex is REALLY supposed to build intimacy, and women have this damn carousel of men, relships, sex, cuddling, motions of intimacy, and its all a lot of things that are SUPPOSED to be important or intimate, but they treat them like NOTHING.  its DISTURBING and SOCIOPATHIC hahahaha.

thats why they call it a RELATIONSHIP, because its all about RELATING to/with another person!

hmmm npi conference was yesterday. millennial woes looked like a slob in a purple t shirt and gray hoodie. looked like a real unemployable neet, looked like me lounging around the house hahahaha.

redice did a very nice stream of basically the whole event. THANK YOU redice.

i guess emily youcis got harrassed by antifa outside and sprayed with something.

i mean i dont like women in the alt right, but she has earned some cred for that i suppose.

ill still white knight more for alt right trannies than alt right women because the trannies are less of degenerate sluts than the women hahahahahah.

that proves it! Im a woman hater pure and simple and woman hating has no place in the alt right, in pro white, in a healthy society! this is MY PROBLEM that i need to FIX!

things that mean SO much to you, like cuddling, or making out, or fooking, or spending time with somebody, or having a rel with somebody, or being vulnerable and intimate with a person, it all means nothing to women! its all as meaningless as taking a dump!

i dont think they INTEND to be SOCIOPATHS! and isnt INTENT a big deal to me?

well….only to a point. if you cheat on somebody and say well i didnt MEAN to cheat on you, it just HAPPENED, one thing led to another…..yeah ok intent doesnt matter there. you have plenty of time to stop it.

i didnt intend to be a sociopath, i just acted like a sociopath in all muh relships and never tried to stop it.

nope, not all relships, just the ones with me!

i bring out the sociopath in all women hahaha.

no thats WRONG. NOT TRUE. woman2012 didnt treat me like a sociopath. That Woman didnt ALWAYS treat me like a sociopath.

havent you ever just RUN AWAY from something you couldnt handle? i ran away from College when I was 21 because I was like I Just Cant Handle This Any More. I should have done it at age 18 or 19! then immediately gotten Severe Treatment, 100000000000 mg of prozac, maybe some electroshock, then gotten a STEM/math degree at my prestigious univ, or gotten a stem/math degree at local less prestigious univ so i could stay at home and not be tempted by degeneracy, or at worst just gotten a business degree from local univ, or something. maybe being out of that environment would have been good. because i was tempted too much by the degen of MJ.

i still used MJ and alcohol when i was at home though……..

i dunno. i should gone to a shrink along with my 1000000000000 mg of prozac, and they could try to convince me to stop doing mj and alcohol. because i was too young for that shit.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Tough

https://www.google.com/#q=how+to+be+tough

ok read and understand. if you have a question, read it again until you understand. dont come looking for me to give you a free ride hahahaha. read and understand. youre an adult nao hahahaha.

If you could federally legalize MJ with a 35% tax on it……..then wouldnt it behoove the feds to legalize it?  theyd make billions of dollars on the taxes, more money than they make nao from…….what? booze being legal? but that money is going to booze barons, not politicians or govt!

also if MJ were legal, MJ barons could make a ton of money, as well as the govt taking 35% taxes on it!

not that I think taxes are good, i am just saying its a way to convince govt to make it legal, because THEY love taxes, and i would be WILLING to pay HEAVY taxes to have MJ legal and easily available.

im just trying to figure out why mj is still illegal. basically, both the govt And the Superrich Elites could make a TON of money off it being legal! so why dont they?

i mean they are probably GOING this way, it will just take 10 more years, cuz govt moves SLOWWWWWLY. except when legalizing phag marriage. that happened pretty damn fast hahahaha.

i mean most people can get MJ because its easy to get for social normies. they always know at least one person. the one person i sorta know is unable to do anything at the moment, so i have to wait hahahahaha.

well dont blame THEM!

im not tho!!!!! really!!!!

heh. that was another thing i lost when i lost That Woman.

maybe she really was just shady sketchy white trash that im better off without her in my life hahahaha. i mean she certainly thought SHE was much better off without ME in her life!!!!! and im not that shitty! seriously!!!!!!!!!

maybe her mind was so clouded and she made such bad decisions because she did MJ every day.

i also made very bad decisions and ran away from responsibilities when i was 21 largely because i did mj every day!

well she was older than 21!

21 its ok to be immature. 25, you should start thinking about adulting and being mature.

of course i am over 30 and still very immature.

but you can be immature in diff WAYS!!!!!

http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Yourself-Calm-During-Tough-Times

heh. there should be a psych phd who writes a book on what happens to your Brain as you go Incel over 10 years.

i mean i dont really care about the SECS nearly as much as the general cuddling or intimacy or having a real REL with a woman.

the GFE, the EXPERIENCE of being with somebody special who is diff from a regular friend, or acquaintance, or family.

and women take these very special rels for granted, have many of them, treat them as replaceable and disposable. hahahaha.

no not all women. not even 51% of women hehehe.

hmm intradasting. no real point here other than to say he felt good when she broke no contact on his bday to wish him happy bday (she dumped him and it was very hard for him), he struggled in doing NC, and now she was sending this message, and he was like, i felt better know that i and the relship meant something to her.

now he says he doesnt want her back. i dont know about that!

standard stuff

hehehe his 22 yo gf has been with a LOT of guys. at age 22 i had only been with 1 gurl. at age 32 i had only been with 1 gurl.

always gets dumped by girls after a few dates or fooks and they see how INSECURE and NEEDY he is. well he is still young as shit, but this has apparently happened several times. oh well. at least hes not a virgin hahaha. maybe he needs a 10 year period of celibacy until he is 33 hahahaha.

heheh i hate thsi shit. she will dump him because oh im not good enough for such a good guy. but if this were a guy dating a gurl who was too good for him, she would dump him IMMEDIATELY and he would feel REAL bad. how do you think this bipolar OP would feel if her too good for her BF dumped her in a very insulting way, like yeah im way too good for you, you dont deserve me? she would be super devastated!

youre not allowed to be depressed if you got into a decent grad school at age 23. maybe if you got rejected and your only option was work at starbucks or get a devry mba and then become a team lead at starbucks. at best. i mean starbucks might be too good for you, they have health benefits ahhahahahahhahaha.

i also think its stupid that she was over me IMMEDIATELY, while its gonna take TWO YEARS for me to get over HER. go thru a little grief and pain. did i really mean NOTHING to you?

but yeah it doesnt bother me as much as it used to.

it doesnt mean it doesnt still bother me, almost every day!

just relatively less. and i THANK GOD for that.

well at least alt right is sticking as a word that means something to people. they use it on mainstream media to refer to far right white supremists, racists, anti semites hahahahaha. like those evil alt righters. no, not all trvmp supporters are radical racists like those ALT RIGHT people hahahaha.

so now i can be like yep im alt right, and i am looking for other alt right people to hang out with.

and people will say you deplorable racist bigot! or, hell yeah me too 1488! HAIL VICTORY!

and then we will get into a huge argument about phag enabling and religion and mj and me not being hyperborean ubermensch enough hahahahahaha.

yeah well it TOTALLY CAN take two years to get over someone. i dont think thats weird at all.

it just disgusts me that NO WOMAN goes two years without SECS. that even if they are Getting Over some other man, they are having Casual Secs with other men. All Women act like 6 months without secs is such a TRAGEDY.

NO. ITS NORMAL. TWO YEARS without secs while you get over somebody SHOULD be normal.

yeah TEN years is not normal i agree. but were not talking about 10 yers, were talking about 2 years.

anyway this thing is making me think All Women Always Treat All Relationships as Throwaway Meaningless Nothingness, and this is not true. it is CLASSIC COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/cognitive_distortions.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/50-common-cognitive-distortions

like good lord. just swear off of secs with men for 6 months and use the damn dildos youre always talking about.

whats the deal with trumps dead brother (i heard he was a Drunk) and his 2 sisters? i have never ever seen them.

yeah so freddy trump was a kinda black sheep and died at age 43 of drinking. one sister is a fed judge, cant believe we havent heard from her. other sister was in banking? other brother was in family business and makes an effort to stay out of attention. i guess there is no issues between any of them.

ok good enough for me.

don jr drank a little during college but apparently got his act together and is now super successful winner with beautiful white children hahahaha.

hmmm ivanka trump is actually OLDER than me. but eric trump is not hahahahaha.

don jr got married in 2005 and had FIVE children in NINE years. the bad news is that his wife is HALF J00. DAMN. COME ON DON.

well at least its not as bad as ivanka and KUSHNER. im not even sure if they should have children. just dump kushner, marry a goy, have goy children.

so yeah his wife is half jooish. and supposedly tiffany trump is dating a jooish man. COME ON. COME ON DON.

how have i not looked into this?

oh is this a sick joke, eric trumps wife lara is full joo. SMDH.

ivanka the orthodox joo and kushner have THREE children. oy vey. what a shonde. its like annuda shoah!

so all of TRVMPS grandchildren are damn MISCHLINGS.

maybe this is a kamikaze strategy to End Jooish Lines? I have too many doubts about that to think it could possibly be effective. especially using your own children.  maybe they just arent joo wise. but how can they NOT be?

SON OF A BITCH.

also i wanted to ask, WHY IS POPULISM BAD?

because its racist?

because “POPULISM” is a codework for Working Class White Male Whitelash?

yeah pretty much.

now i dont like the idea of MOB RULE, but i dont think that what the MSM is getting at when they say “populist”, they just mean the scary evil racist bigot WHITELASH.

http://www.dailystormer.com/the-rise-of-the-white-lash/

welp if i dont make something of myself in the next 4 years, thats it. thats my only hope hahahahahaha. this is white males time to shine and if i dont take advantage of it, i am done hahahaha. white male privilege alone wasnt enough to make me a productive member of society. i need EVEN MORE because i am THAT bad. and here it is with trvmp hahaha.

yeah i should order a red trvmp hat already.

and hanging out with more trump supporters and especially alt right people in real life.

wearing a trvmp hat in public hahahaha.

how much and what kinds of tax would have to be placed on MJ to make it more profitable to the Powers That Be for MJ to be legal, rather than it to be illegal? 100% tax to feds AND 100% tax to state and maybe another 100% to city?

pay $400 for a $100 bag of MJ? yeah ok i might not pay that. i wouldnt pay more than 50% tax hahahaha.

but shouldnt that be enough?

i mean how much law enforcement resources are used to arrest and prosecute MJ growers, dealers, etc?

as opposed to more dangerous drugs like meth or opiates?

no one goes to prison for MJ anymore!

so whos making money on illegal MJ? Mexican Cartels? and the US Gov wants mexican cartels to continue making money because…….this i cant figure out. The Secret Truth.

because Cartels give Fedgov billions of dollars a year? how? bribes? who exactly are they bribing? it seems like it would be lower level frontline feds would be more suspectable to bribes than top dea directors, fed judges, fed higher ups.

so YOURE TELLING ME that these feds make more money in HIGHLY illegal BRIBES from MEXICAN CARTELS, than all of the fedgov could legally make by taxing MJ 35%? 40%? 50%???

i just find it very hard to believe.

 

13 DOLLARS AN HOUR

aug 31

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

http://pastebin.com/xUh6Djef

put this in sidebar, i want to caputre the worst article ever AND a few hundred comments

nymag open marriage cuckoldry article by sonmore

INFAMOUS

http://pastebin.com/67FxT9wi

here is the sequel / follow up with the man and his “wife.”

the first article is timeless, classic, godawful, and i will put it in the sidebar As A Ghastly Monument (Ruins of Beverast reference/credit.)

i might be moving Towards A New Cover Letter Hermeneutic where the new Way is really to hit them HARD with a Fully Tailored, Individualized First Paragraph that cups their balls and sucks their dick and appeals to their mission and demonstrates my passion for their company and how i can add value and increase profitability by specifically matching the requirements of the specific job, in the culture of this specific company, addressing these particular pain points, and why i am THE SINGLE BEST CANDIDATE out of millions, and this, and no others, IS my Dream Career.

in other words, REALLY step up my Tailoring of the CL. I tailor the CL a TINY bit, changing a few words or sentences each time. so, do more than that.

also, attempt to aim for the Average Salary of my state, and NOT the whole US, which is 28k, and my state is a LITTLE below that.

yeah 12 to 16 is a ridiculous range to give. i should just say 12 to 14.

or 12 to 13 hahahaha.

people who have college careers and make 40k + cringe at talk like this. they never mention numbers. i mention numbers ALL DAY.

yeah i guess i used to think it was VULGAR too. but now I just think its Keeping It Really Real. How Much Does The Market Say You Are Worth?

no its not the sum total of Who You Are…..but it DOES tell me a LOT about what Your Employer thinks you are Worth, and What Kind of Life you live, and probably the type of people you associate with.

(People tend to associate with people who make about the same amount of MONEY as they do. So I feel a little weird when people who make WAY MORE MONEY than I do, huge winners, invite me to hang out with them. Of course I accept the invitation graciously.)

so yeah fook this 15 dollars an hour bullshit. i am willing to pay my dues and make 13 dollars an hour like the people in muh subaverage state. those fancy phaggots in joo york and phag phagcisco can take their 15 dollars an hour and pozz each others assholes with it. besides in those cities it costs 600000k per month to live in a one room shack tiny house, and it costs 90000000$ for a package of ramen. no thanks.

if a man is complaining about COMMUNICATION all the time, and his wife/gf is never WILLING to COMMUNICATE, and she’s always SHUTTING ME OUT, and so DISTANT, and putting up a WALL, she has to be willing to COMMUNICATE, well then thats him signalling that HE has HUGE communication issues, he’s projecting, HE’S really the one who doesnt know how to COMMUNICATE hahahaha.

i was watching married at first sight and derek was complaining about his distant, unwilling, stubborn, bitchy horrible (but very bangable) wife, who simpyl would not give him a chance. he is kinda a douchebag but he had some GREAT points about communication, where I nodded my head vigorously and said YES. YASSSS. THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

and hes also right that she is no spring chicken at 33, but my god she has a very fookable ass hahahahahahaha. she has to be in the top 10% of attractiveness for 33 year old women. I would DESTROY her.

and this derek is a pretty masculine man too, i’m sure he would destroy her too, but thats how stubborn she is. she probably would have gladly let him destroy her 5 years ago. now im not sure what she wants. probably a total beta bucks sort of guy. she probably WANTS the total doormat that says anything you want hunny. but i have to wonder, who does she want For SECS, at this moment? she’s always gonna want the masculine guy for secs. so why not have secs with her masculine husbando derek?

unless she’s such a sleazebag that she needs TWO or more men. alpha fooks, beta bucks, and never the twain shall meet. i guess she’s never experienced a best of both worlds alpha who is masculine AND makes a ton of money. but  she’s hawt enough to pull such a man (albeit not necessary without sharing him), and doesnt she meet plenty of powerful men as a Stewardess? like the powerful alpha men in First Class and such?

so yeah i am most fascinated in this couple. then sonia and nick a distant second, and i dont really care about the third couple hahahaha.

basically a 33 year old woman with no children is guaranteed to be SUPER CRAZY. her body is telling her to have a baby RIGHT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE and you have to keep that in mind. i guess its ok if you want to have a baby right now too. but its gonna be real hard to have MULTIPLE babies with this woman. she shoulda started having babies AT LEAST TEN YEARS AGO.

fulton sheen on difference between BAD, and EVIL.

 

hilarious first hour with moishe, not sure if florian mentions the sheen story in this one though

start at 1:47:00. this is exactly where florian makes the point about fulton sheen. this is probably the single best episode of nationalist review EVAR: a full hour of moishe being absolutely ridiculous, natt being natt, a bit by “degenerate dan”, a full discussion and reading of that horrendous nymag cuckold article, AND florian uses that to introduced sheen’s point:

that a bad man simply does bad things, sins, like lie, cheat, steal, hurt, kill.

but a truly EVIL man actively and intentionally works to undermine truth, beauty, and goodness ITSELF. true evil seeks to portray vice as virtue. like the cuckold husband who does disgusting mental gymnastics to portray his cuckoldry as True Luv for his wife. true evil just makes a disgusting mockery of truth, beauty, and goodness.

i didn’t actually hear sheen’s actual story, just florian describing it. but i’ve seen plenty of sheen, and he is pretty badass, and the more i hear of florian, the more i like/luv him. he is possibly the new fulton sheen for 2016 alt right. and he is a very young man, like 23 years old. AND he is in seminary to become a catholic priest. AND he is alt right and joo wise and insanely, autistically smart. AND he has created a better joo character than morrakiu, with moishe the mossad handler.

ok florian is definitely in contention to be man of the year 2016 hahahahaha. i sort of wish he wasn’t becoming a priest so he could have white children. but I like the idea of a 1488 catholic priest too.

shit i would say become a priest and have children ANYWAY. let them kick you out.

actually i think you can become a priest AFTER you have children.

florian should def have children. but I very much appreciate him being a MAN OF GOD.

his regular voice is a little autistic, but he is SUCH a great awesome guy it doesnt even matter. this guy is SO good.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fulton_J._Sheen

so yeah. listen to that whole episode. if its not SHUT DOWN by the time this post posts. im downloading that shit again.

the best thing ive heard lately that isnt the fatherland hahahaha. well it does have ryan from the fatherland and i luv him too. great, great men. I would LUV to go to a trs convention and meet these guys.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/08/31/the-daily-shoah-100-ep-88-part-13-of-14-a-hundred-a-hundred-twenty-episodes/

millennial woes on the new daily shoah!!! (100th episode!) NOICE!! I hope he uses some N words and K words and F words and such and isnt such a nice guy hahaha. i dont think hes even been on the shoah before. ITS ABOUT TIME.

sept 1

had weird dream that i was a Rookie Police Officer just starting out, getting On The Job Training from the guys, and I was very quickly On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown, and was very anxious like, whoa guys, i think i’m in over my head, i don’t think im TOUGH ENOUGH to handle this, maybe i’m not cut out for this job, maybe I should quit, I mean really, I dont have it in me! you need a tougher guy!

and the guys were all tough but also generally in favor of me not quitting I think, or they would disrespect me as an inferior pvssy if i quit, and were like, yeah its tough at first, but you just gotta TOUGHEN UP, gotta TUFF GET GOING, gotta not let it bother you, power through it, etc and other platitudes.

i think for most Cops though there is better training than what i experienced in the dream. like when you pay 20 grand to go to Police Academy, that’s where they train you for like 12 weeks hehehehe on all the aspects of being a Cop.

also cops get ongoing paid training because of like lawsuits and shit. peoples lives are at stake, its one of those jobs, like doctors and nurses and shit. lives are in your hands. people could die, and that means million dollar lawsuits, thus you implement official training pogams to Cover Your Ass.

unlike some companies where you dont need to cover your ass so much, and you can Screw and Joo customers with impunity, so it DOESNT MATTER if your people are trained. and the advice from management is, do what you need to do to get them on their way and make/save time and money.

thankfully i never had to Upsell Add On Products and shit. but the employees I was Supporting sure did. and they were generally as poorly trained as we were, and there they were talking to the ACTUAL customers. pressured by THEIR managers to try to sell the customers shit they REALLY didnt need, and also not understanding the products. yet trying to sell them. to people who didnt need them. when the products themselves were overpriced shady bullshit that were thoroughly jooish to the core. buy this extra advanced warranty goy. just in case. only 50 dollars more. just in case of a worst case scenario.

also the company was in general, dying. there is talk the company will be sold. but its a publicly traded company with shareholders. can you have a reverse IPO where a once public company becomes privately held again? i guess you can do esoteric shit with stock buybacks or stock splitting or something.

i guess theoretically the stock price could go SO low, and then there are Equity Firms who might gobble up a Majority Ownership of the company.

i dont know, I don’t have an MBA, I only have like 25 credits of Business Classes, hahahahaha.

which is more than Average, 13 dollar an hour normies have!

but you can also get an ok business sense from working at a company for a few years and just talking to people.

at my company, there was tons of rumors and speculation, among the more savvy people like me, that were even interested in speculation about why was the company doing this, rather than being like idk ikr lol weed lmao.

people like me who were frustrated and wanted to understand why the company and our department was such an egregious, backwards, shameful, disorganized, mismanaged clusterfook, and how it could be improved. well, more training, more actual legit experts who knew what they were doing, more time and money, more quality people actually improving actual quality, more testing, more actual listening to customers, much better executive management who understood the importance of IT as being more than just a Cost Center, etc.

standard!

but yeah its just horribly frustrating to have an angry, stressed person pushing you to fix their problem, because youre supposed to be the expert, fixing problems is your job, and you have no idea what you’re doing, and you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, becuase you really don’t, and you can’t appeal to a Subject Matter Expert in a way that is actually useful for either you or the customer. Most customers would be jsut fine if you said, wow, this is a pretty complex problem, here’s Joe Flabeetz, he’s been here for 2 years and really knows what he’s doing, Joe is great. its much worse when you say, i dont know what to do, let me talk to Joe, and then you “talk” to Joe in a shitty chat room where he is helping 20 other lost souls like you, telling you stuff that doesnt make sense. then you go back to the customer and try to do that thing, and explain it.  NATURALLY, UNDERSTANDABLY, they wonder, can’t you just get Joe over here? he clearly knows what he’s doing, you clearly don’t, so just get him on the case.

but one does not simply just get a SME on the case. because they are just as busy as we are and are not gonna escalate a case without a fight.

you could probably turn newbies into SME’s quicker with REGULAR TRAINING. but again, thats millions of dollars for people who want to get out of here ASAP anyway. or they can just go mad and snapquit like me hahahaha.

it all makes perfect sense: DONT SPEND MONEY IF YOU DONT ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.

the company can afford to not support their employees, shit they can afford to some extent to provide shitty, overpriced, screwjob jooish service to their customers. anything you can get away with. no exchanges, no refunds. all sales final. don’t like it, complain to the better business bureau bitches. don’t like it, do this shit yourself or go to our competitors.

see thats going too far though! why would you knowingly push your customers towards your competitors?

AND THATS WHY THE COMPANY IS FAILING. it used to be a successful, reputable company. now it is a sinking ship and more people can’t ignore that.

so yeah, i think a large part of why my experience was SO NEGATIVE was the culture of the company, being a large “big dog” old school company that was starting to fail on a massive scale. i mean they will implement retarded changes on a daily basis, yet be so Entrenched that they wont implement the actual Radical change needed. just do stupid spazzout bandaid fire putout bullshit. nothing meaningful, nothing that is good for the long term. short term only.

heh. that woman didnt care. she was just like go with the flow, dont let it bother you, dont bother me about it, i dont care, idk lol, dude weed lmao.

i mean women are not well equipped to have logical, sensible, reasonable, insightful thoughts about Business anyway……… but with all these educated women in careers, i think they can at least go through the motions of talking about business.

well, we did not have alot of those type of women in our department hahaha.

so i’m saying i prefer a more business savvy woman?

NO….i don’t even prefer a more intelligent woman. shit she was intelligent ENOUGH. i think she COULD have been taught to be more business savvy, not that she needed be…..

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, really I just wanted her to talk to me more, be nicer to me, and just have a HALFWAY decent conversation about Our Jobs and Our Company!!!!!!! don’t you have an OPINION on this retardation! it affects you as much as it affects me! and she probably DID have an opinion! she just didnt want to talk to me any more. and i was very upset about that. her withdrawing from me and building a huge wall.

so yeah that was deffo the root issue hahahaha.

and I was very frustrated because I was aware of that root issue, and trying to resolve it, and getting NOWHERE, because I needed cooperation and willingness from her, and she refused to get it.

lets meet, lets sit at the table together, talk, and try to MAKE A DEAL. lets negotiate and compromise and both leave unhappy hahahahahahahahaha. and i was sitting at the table all day waiting for her to show up, and she just no called no showed the whole time.

so yeah that why i was very upset hahahaha.

dont just say dont let it bother you. get a thicker skin. believe me I would love to.

now, I had great conversations with a couple of my male friends at the job, and we all should have been promoted to level 3 and never have to take a call ever again hahahaha. make 18 bucks an hour hahaha.

i wasnt asking her to be as insightful as us, i just wanted her to give SOME effort into thinking about this. i mean it was stupid NOT to have righteous indignation over it, and to just say dont let it bother you, and smoke MJ. you can smoke MJ and still have opinions about this ridiculousness! and partially i was JEALOUS of her ability to DISCONNECT from the job like that, do it so Coolly, yet still miraculously do a “good” job and be liked by everyone. well yeah she was a likeable person hahahaha.

ishould probably give agalloch a second try. should i listen to the above album or “the mantle.” i was torn. i went to youtube and tried to compare the Productions, which one sounded better. they both sounded pretty close but maybe this one has a 5% stronger guitar sound. also, i technically tried listening to “the mantle” like 4 years ago and i was like, yeah this is ok, but i guess im not in the mood for something like this.

i guess now at least i am in the mood to give them a try again. i guess i want something thats like beautiful atmospheric black metal, but very melodic and very easy to listen to, with immediately catchy riffs and melodies and songs. but without being so NEW that it gets TOO much into “post rock” or “blackgaze”. something old enough that it was around when I was young and actually interested in music. the mantle came out in 2002, which is right in my wheelhouse yearwise, this one came out in 2006, when i had stopped caring about music, well, thats not true. i recall i was keeping up on the current work of katatonia and goatwh0re. but not being super duper into it, or into anything. lots of drinking. damn. increasing amounts of drinking. stupid. i stopped caring about new music, or music in general, some dark days.

so 2002 was really a much better year for me music wise than 2006…..but ive already heard a bit of the mantle, and if i like ashes against the grain, i’ll try the mantle. also the mantle is like 68 minutes long, which is way too long for an album. ashes is 59 minutes. still way too long, but better than 68.

and of course in 2014 and much of 2015 i was not interested in music so much either, because worrying about the job, or i was devastated by my loss and failure hehehehe. so i guess ive rebounded to a kind of peak right now of interest in music, as in trying to find NEW music, which is remarkable, cuz much of the time i like to Build A Wall and say yep ive got more than enough music thank you, dont need any new stuff. there’s nothing good left out there. its all hipster phaggot degenerate bullshit. theres plenty of stuff  from before 2000 i havent listened to yet.

and its FINE to close the ranks and circle the wagons….but i dont want to do that more than half of the time. i would always like to be SOMEWHAT open to new music.

and agalloch i think is right in line with stuff that i have enjoyed. like when i was young i enjoyed opeth a lot, i still enjoy their older stuff, and i have always enjoyed “in the woods….” a norwegian sorta black metal group from the 90s that was atmospheric and progressive and avant garde when those things werent NEARLY as cool as they are now.

heh like the other day i wanted to listen to hammerfall and i only ended up listening to the first two songs on the album. and that album was only like 40 minutes. perfect length.

went to jcpenneys. it was a mixed bag. i had high hopes.  saw some beautiful high school girls in there with their Moms for Back 2 Skool shopping. nothing wrong with a 35 year old man ogling 16 year old gurls hahahahahaha.  at that age you really want to Protect and Provide for them, and you would Happily swear an oath to their Faithful Fathers that you would not bang them until they are 18, or if the father really wanted grandchildren, then you could have him sign off for age 17, and you would promise to not frivolously divorce her hahahahahaha. and she would promise to not frivorce YOU really.

so yeah you dont look at the beautiful 16 year old gurl and say “yeah id like to pump and dump that trashwh0re, ride hard and hang them up wet” the way you would say about a 30 year old skank. you say “damn i wouldnt mind MARRYING that gurl and having her be the mother of my children. Assuming she’s not ALREADY a huge slut. Let’s have a talk with her father.”

90s and 00s metal. that was my thing. i’m not sure i even lasted 10 good years. but 1996 to 2003 for sure might have been my best years.

in terms of The West, those were not great years. especially 96 to 2001 hahahaha. the late 90s was the high of nihilism and decadence and degeneracy where shit was probably just as bad as it is NOW, except people were more despairing. shit was BAD, although things werent AS Sexualized, and attitudes about Gays were definitely a bit better. but there was nothing to hold onto. there was no alt right. there was no hope for the youth, which i was one. the music was especially shitty. it reflected the nihilism and lack of general quality perfectly. stuff like groove metal and nu metal and korn. well at least there was a ton of catchy alternative pop type stuff. i shoulda got into that more at the time.

there seemed to be much less red pilled young people then. people were not waking up fast enough.

and i do think 911 in 2001 was a bigass paradigm shift, the beginning of a new era, a time of awakening. the sleeping nihilist giant awakens and then stumbles around in confusion for about 10 more years hahahaha. trying to shake off that nihilism and sense of no purpose. trying to figure out what was going on and what to do about it.

for me at least, the internet did not become a HUGE thing until after 2000. from like 98 to 00 we used slow dialup shit and i was already a degenerate, looking at jooish filth and actually reading Erotic Stories. which I guess is slightly less jooish. playing doom and quake. writing ridic stories of me finding a Nice GF and having a traditional monog longterm rel at age 15 hahahaha. see, my main goal was not degenerate.

http://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&chart_type=top&type=album&year=1990s&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=Metal&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=

hahahaha i have been looking at these goddamn RYM lists for like a month straight trying to find the perfect album to listen to

like here is the best metal (incl all subgenres) for the 90s.

http://rateyourmusic.com/customchart?page=1&chart_type=top&type=album&year=1996&genre_include=1&include_child_genres=1&genres=Metal&include_child_genres_chk=1&include=both&origin_countries=&limit=none&countries=

you can also put in an exact year like 1996 hahahahahaha

also i wanted to say that listening to the daily shoah for the first time in a while (well i did listen when fatherland jim guest hosted a few weeks ago), is that i must remind myself not to forget how powerful mike enoch is. i mean he is really smart and just says the most interesting, smartest, most awesome things. i guess its easy to forget because his voice is ridiculous and he sounds like seth roganblatt. but the things he says are just amazing. here he is doing a 80 hour work week, hasn’t had time to read the news or do anything but work his tech job, and he comes onto TDS and is pretty high energy and very very solid and convincing in the things he was saying, just having very very good conversations where he is contributing most of the quality.

not to crap on seventh son or special guest millennial woes, but yeah this is enoch’s show and he is very very good at what he does. needs to trim down the number of people so he can dominate the conversation any more. him, SS, and MW would have been ideal.

heh i saw my confirmation email for applying to a part time job, and thought OH NO THATS THE FASTEST REJECTION EMAIL EVER!! and then laughed when i realized it was just the CONFIRMATION email that they had received my application. awesome job though hahahahaha. 30 hours a week, 15 dollars an hour, right when i have officially announced that 13 dollars is my new goal, that 15 is out of my league hehehehe.

ITS OFFICIAL. MY PRICE HAS OFFICIALLY GONE DOWN TO 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR. THAT IS MY WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING. hahahaha. no silly, that’s just my worth to the MARKET of human beings!!!!!

at the gas station today I saw a white man arguing pretty rudely with the poor clerk making 9 hourly. i couldnt see the clerk because they were in this little glass booth. it was one of those gas stations that doesnt even have an inside, and the cashier is in a tiny booth/shack. there was a huge line behind this white guy who….i couldnt tell what was going on. it sounded like he was getting charged 36 dollars when he disputed it and thought he should be charged 26, and he wasn’t gonna pay a penny more. he was maybe early 30s and had a stupid mohawk like haircut and tattoos all over his arms. good job. i really hope the clerk was not white, but even if they WERE nonwhite, they didn’t deserve this kinda treatment, and I was a bit ashamed that a fellow white man could be such a dickhead to a poor miserable gas station clerk. Whites are supposed to be Polite Customers. its blacks and arabs who are Asshole Customers.

I thought about going up to the clerk and apologizing hahahahaha. well, not apologizing, but sorry you had to go through that. I know you weren’t trying to do anything wrong. he was way out of line. he’s an asshole.

go get your manager. uhhhh the managers not here today. i’m not sure when he will be back. i can’t do anything for you. well then call the manager right now. i want to talk to him right now. uhhhh he doesnt give employees his phone number. well who do you call if its an emergency? meanwhile there is a huge line of people who just want to prepay for their gas. i avoided all this because i paid at the pump with a card hahahahaha.

mike enoch does not get all super intellectual either. he just gives real talk, absolutely no bullshit, no jerking off. he says like and dude a lot but unlike with most people who say these words a lot, it does not make him sound unintelligent. he is real good at talking to people and just great verbal intelligence on this goy hahahaha. this is the guy you want talking for you. real convincing salesman. but not in a bullshit dishonest way. he needs to quit his job and spend all his time talking and networking and meeting with people. he is a real good people person and communicator.

i wonder what the hell he did before TRS. I guess he had a big libertarian phase and did a lot of 4chan. dont quote me.

listened to the first 2 songs of the agalloch album, they were pretty good. decent production. a blast beat would be nice. also the black metal vocals are pretty unimpressive and really dont seem to fit. something a bit deeper, or alternately, a DSBM or old burzumy scream would be better. the corny clean vocals are better.

uhhh seems to be plenty of “melodic doom” in the vein of old katatonia going on, that i wasnt really expecting, but i guess i’m not surprised, and i am not disappointed either.

overall, very melodic, very very, not super opethy unless you think of an alternate opeth where they continued in the vein of their first two albums…….which is not a problem for me!

but now i have a damn melodic doom katatoniaish song stuck in my head and I don’t know what it is!!!!!!!!!

it has a catchy mournful weeping guitar melody.

it is pretty brave murder day ish, but i dont think its from that album.

it could be from the first october tide album, but i dont think so.

and i’m not sure what else it could be.

sept 2

you know i think it might be beneath the rain or whatever that doom band from portugal with the guy from morgion singing.  on their second main album.

before the rain?

YASSSS there is is, aroun 20:23, actually that motif is all throughout this song “shards” and it repeats a lot, but i was particularly thinking of the higher octave guitar going into the “weeping” range hahahaha.

FOUND IT!!!!

yeah the album is a little long but it has a great production and great style and is pretty underrated and i only found it because i am a big morgion fan.

fooking rate your music lists really interferon with muh job search hahahaha.

fook working for a living like an honorable white man. i am just gonna become a black ingra hahahaha.

yeah i dont want to pedestalize That Woman too much. it’s VERY GOOD to remember I have been Decent Friends with, I have been CLOSE TO OTHER WOMEN before. she doesnt STAND ALONE. I had at least two pretty good female friends where we were decent friends for like approx 2 years. talking freely, being comfortable with each other.

yeah i never fell in LUV with them but thats NOT THE POINT. well, yes and no. yeah that was the one thing that differentiated that woman.

but i never want to lose sight of the fact that i have gotten close and friendly with OTHER women. NOT JUST HER.

rejection email THREE MONTHS after applying for job. the spreadsheet did not even exist until 2 months ago.

entry level position at big well known company, great job, but 95% of its postings are for Senior Level Engineers.

ANYWAY. when you fall in LUV with a woman you FEEL closer to them. it’s a fantasy, its all in your head, but i don’t like describing it like that, thats misleading. because it’s VERY real for YOU. YOU ACTUALLY ARE very close to THEM……………………………but THEY are not nearly as close to YOU. by saying its all in your head, it mocks the realness, truth and beauty of your Luv. so, I wont do that.

like when i fell in luv with women i didnt even KNOW. OF COURSHE i FELT close to them, even though I didn’t even KNOW them!

the DIFFERENCE this time, was I fell in luv with someone I ACTUALLY KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and still, apparently, I didn’t know them well enough!

but yeah i MUST NOT think of myself as some WEIRDO CREEPER ALIEN who CANT get along with women, because I have become close friends with OTHER WOMEN THAN JUST HER.

I just never fell in LUV with any of them, so thats why That Woman was such a big deal.

went to jcpenney and found some great nike revolution 3 running shoes. but they did not have the size in the color i wanted.

so then i went to zappos and ordered the size for about the same price. i hate the idea of ordering SHOES online, but technically i HAD already tried on a pair of the same style of shoe, just a diff COLOR. and i wasnt gonna back down here.

interestingly enough, i was aiming to replace a pair of Revolution 2 which i had bought 2 years ago and are now falling apart and completely worn out. i guess i am a Nike Revolution man. so I should look for the Revolution 4 in 2 more years.

man those one year at a time charts on rym are great. i can see all the albums I was enjoying at the time, ANDDDDDDD see all the ones from that time period that I missed. there was a ton of good stuff in those years that i missed because i was a teen listening to groove metal hahahaha. no i liked half good stuff too, some black metal. i have been a black metal fan for TWENTY YEARS hahahahahahahahahaha. well, maybe 19.

just tell these antiwhite k1kes in interviews that ive been spending the last 14 months looking at black metal charts on RYM hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i havent been smokin any MJ ya k1kes!

not that you should be PROUD about smokin MJ. its for degenerates. its INHERENTLY DEGENERATE.

its TERRIBLE that I still want to do it. that I still want to do it WITH HER. goddam degenerate DEVILS CABBAGE.

if anyone speaks glowing of MJ, publicly humiliate them! and then go smoke it privately hahahhaha.

i really hate successful people who make like 30k a year who say i can smoke MJ and I’m a successful productive member of society! I’m happy with my life and my job and I am a successful family man! and I make 30k a year!

comment sections of news articles on legalizing mj and all these pro-legalization types saying shit like that.

well i am pro legalization too, but more of the “conservative libertarian” way, rather than Have Big Govt Regulate and Tax Tax Tax it! but let each city decriminalize it.

i mean I just imagine all the tax money being wasted anyway, like the 200 million in tax revenue colorado got from MJ. it will just be wasted on public skools in black ghettos hahahaha where the money wont do any good. or paying teacher administrator pensions hahahahahaha.

it wont go to fix shitty roads, it wont go to more police and ems in black crime ghettos, or blight cleanup, or anything useful like that. thats where your MJ tax money will go. just like alcohol and tobacco tax money.

so yeah dont tax it. save the money to build up MJ production companies hahahaha. or even small time MJ producers in the cities where it is legal.

well companies are STILL gonna drug test for jobs anyway, that practice has not changed even in colorado, in fact its probably gotten even more prevalent! cuz now theres more lazy ingrish potheads out there who would make terrible workers hahahaha.

i am being partially facetious since i always try to work my hardest even if i am using MJ afterwards.

but maybe i am just a shitty worker but i think i am a good worker.

i mean shit, i can’t handle the bare minimum at muh old job! my best was worse than their worst! hahahahaha.

NO, that’s not entirely true. for a good long while I was good and getting better. establishing a reputation for excellence. might have even been promoted in 2 more years, hahahahaha, for a company that never promotes from within!

(i of course dont want to work for a company that doesnt promote from within hahahaha)

because hiring outsiders for upper level jobs is a YUGGGGEEEEE red flag of a shitty horrible company. run dont walk.

applied for great job at Dream Employer University, but its 36k. when my skills are only worth 26k hahahaha. isnt it a waste of 25 minutes to apply for this?

i found another one that pays 15 an hour. much better. but still out of my league hahaha.

in fact the jobs that pay 13 an hour, aka 26k a year…..dont usually even list their pay. they just say nothing.

so i guess the lesson is, always apply for the jobs that dont list a number, because that number is probably low enough to be closer to your actual worth.

but still. why not just list the god damn pay for ALL jobs, from 10 dollar an hour to 40 dollars an hour jobs, so people that think the pay is too low, wont even apply.

unless they are trying to overreach and get people who would normally be “too good” to apply????

well that’s not what I do, i apply for 12 and 11 dollar an hour jobs if they seem chill/easy or I like the company.

anyway the 15 an hour job would be GREAT. like 5 miles away, full time office job, for satellite campus of bigass university that probably takes average care of its employees with 401k, health care, and at least 13 an hour wage hahahaha. 9 to 5 hours, weekends off, the works. real solid family man stuff. no joke.

 

MURDERING YOUR BABY HAS CONSEQUENCES

may 5

This fookin guy does a real talk video on despair and su1c1de after a friend of his recently K’d himself. now I have never consistently listened to AURINI, but I dont doubt he’s an ok guy. He probably repented for banging his other friends wife. I wonder if thats the guy who K’d himself!

no i dont hate aurini, he seems like an allright guy for the most part, his voice is just so annoying and he’s spergy and really no 40 year old man should not have a wife and kids. well some mgtows probably want these things but cant get them so they make a youtube channel as a substitute to express themselves. I do something similar.  i am lonely and desperate and needy and clingy for a good wife hahahahaha.

prolific yt commenter frances haypenny tells a horrible story of her husbandos friend who had an evil bitch wife who drove him to S001c1de, leaving 5 kids fatherless while she begs for money on gofundme and enjoys fookfests with latin men and now you have 5 white kids who will grow up to be batshit crazy. so sad.

ok now i have an actual interview for the part time 13 dollar an hour job that I have taken 3 hours of testing to get to this advanced round, where I will be grilled by 3 very higher ups for a damn 12000 dollar a year job.

maybe the job is just taking angry phone calls from city residents ALL DAY and finding creative ways to give them the runaround and protect the city higher ups from doing any work and being held accountable hahahaha.

Nope Not my problem, nothing we can do, call someone else, i dunno who. a lawyer. a plumber. a mechanic. best buy geek squad. comcast. not my problem. it is what it is. cant be fixed. no explanation. if you need an explanation, you’re not gonna believe the explanation anyway. i am the supervisor. i don’t have a manager. yes i’m practically a C-level executive VP.  next!

I dunno. everyone who works at the city seems ok. well except the city council, nobody likes them hahahaha. but thats different. hey i am a concerned citizen, i actually watch the city council meetings a couple times a year hahahaha.

ok. will bring a 3 page resume, a 1 page resume, my 2 letters of recommendation, then when I write a thank you email to hopefully all those people on THE DEATH PANEL, will include attachments of those documents as well.

if people want good technical support in their companies, there might have to be a REVOLUTION. or customer support for that matter. hire more people, give them regular training, make them take less calls, give them more power, not penalize them for long calls, make the higher ups accountable, give them good wage and health care, not chain them to their desks, let them do stuff other than take phone calls all day. have weekly meetings and actually relevant useful training.

yep all that amounts to a REVOLUTION hahaha. it really does.

interview.txt:

I will need to take 3 to 5 days to do a full audit of your systems. I will then need to write documentation and knowledge base for your systems. Then I will educate and train all users on proper use of the systems. Not simply tell them, if this happens, push that button, but empower them to be able to use the system proactively to prevent issues from occuring, and also have the basic skills to resolve simple issues independently. This will minimize the need for a dedicated IT Support Staff. Build service contracts with vendors for when serious problems do occur. Don’t hoard and hide knowledge in an unethical way to make yourself seem more indispensible. Write clear, complete documentation and make it available to all levels of users on the intranet.

this guy I know just waltzed in and pissed all over the previous IT Guy with this type of Real Talk. the previous IT guy was fired on the spot and the guy I know offered the job. Now he is a retiree just looking for a part time hobby really, so I hope they dont overburden him. I was talking to him about “the interview” and the job, since at first they were really vague, but they were unhappy with their IT Guy. who seemed to be a loose cannon information hider.

I hate information hiders but I know IT Guys can be twisted into mean nasty trolls by their company and the higher ups. but this is a smaller company and the IT guy deals directly with The Owner, so…..i don’t think that’s the case.

I am optimistic that my Acquaintance will Walk Out if the thing gets too time consuming and or ridiculous. He is a stable, steady, confident 65-year old man who has had a full, rewarding life of marriage, children, grandchildren, and lots of World Travel. He has met Tom Petty. He has been to Rhodesia. He has seen Led Zeppelin and the Doors. He has been just about everywhere in the world. He has gotten into bar brawls with Cowboys and has knocked bar douchebags out cold with Roundhouse Kicks. He really is one of the most Interesting guys I have met in a while and does not have a big head about it all. very down to earth and friendly. great guy. good role model. I am still not sure what his career actually was. I thought he was more on the business side than the Engineering side. He was definitely not an Engineer or a Scientist. I think most of his travel was for Business. He does not have a masters degree. not sure what his bachelors degree was. I know he played College Football and probably had the attention of a lot of Cute College Gurls. Like I say, he is around 65 years old. Solid Baby Boomer. He probably Slayed plenty of College Pvssy but was still able to find a good wife. He is a very solid man however. like, not a loser. he is able to pull a good woman. and definitely a smart guy, at least a 114 IQ on him, hahahahahahaha. His children grew up to be successful, make money, and give him some grandchildren.

I don’t like asking him about all these personal things but I am slowly building my catalog of this information hahaha. I think he might have been married twice and the first one did not last too long. any woman would be a total idiot to divorce him. maybe he divorced her because he realized he could do better, hahahahaha.

Very good masculine presence on him. I can only imagine what he was like at age 20, pumping iron and slaying college pvssy in the late 60s, early 70s. horry sheet.

no he did not go to a fancy pants college, he went to a super normie college that everyone in the area who went to college at that time went to , and which thousands of people still go to, which has produced many successful grads, which anyone with a brain knows is a decent school, but no one outside of the state really knows about it, the Campus is not super pretty, and people at my highly selective University scoffed at it as a third tier toilet. but hopefully changed their minds once they got out in the Working World and met some perfectly smart and capable grads of that school. hopefully. or they just went to orgs where everyone went to harvard and mit and stanford and duke and columbia. fook that hahahahaha.

well, i will go into the interview, let them bust my balls with tuff questions for 30 minutes, and then I will be free to go. Hell I am free to stand up and leave at any time if they begin busting my balls too much anyway! not that that is likely to happen.

but if I can sweat bullets on a 3 hour phone call, bullshitting out of my ass, then surely I can handle a 30 minute interview. and if they dont like my answers, fook em. hire one of the other 100 people hahahaha.

no its not cost effective to interview 100 people, that’s why you have two fooking rounds of stupid testing just to get to the interview. and some of those 100 people walk out of the stupid multiple choice test.

The second test was a lot better, re using word and excel and seemed much more relevant to the job. They could have given that one first, but it was certainly too much work to check. a 100 question multiple choice test can be checked quickly with a scantron.

again i really feel underqualified for the FT job there, and wish they had a FT opening that was a little less on pay grade. So I have a better chance of getting the PT job in other words. I mean its better than nothing but I also know PT jobs make me lazy hahahaha but FT jobs make me crazy hahaha but every adult man MUST have a FT job, thats simply THE RULES.

comments in that aurini video refer to how the root of all sin is SHAME, and christ was trying to rid us of shame. I cant say I agree with this. I think a little shame is a great thing! and you should feel shame for the sins you commit. Of course then you should feel shame, then repent, then receive GODS forgiveness and mercy, then move on with your life not burdened by shame, but also wiser and stronger and more virtuous and less sinful.

ARE YOU TELLING ME that IT Higher Ups don’t know about the existence of, or how to set up, a “process monitor” that checks the health of certain important processes, so that if an important program which you can’t see crashes suddenly, it give an error box, and also automatically restarts, and gives you another unmissable error box if it can’t restart.

so it’s up to the level 1 idiot to dream up such a thing and find a way to implement it.

when you dont have teachers or mentors or trainers, you are like a feral child or wolf. You find a way to survive day to day, but you often miss very basic fundamental things, which in hindsight SEEM obvious, but it REALLY helps to be taught those things by somebody. you can save yourself YEARS of struggle and stress and wasted time. just to have a Mentor teach you some key Best Practices.

like yes, there ARE Process Monitors that do this. nobody told me about them. I’m not sure if our company used them. they SHOULD have, because we had a lot of important semi-hidden programs that would often crash without warning and disrupt all sorts of shit! I would think, jeez, for such an important program, there should be something that keeps it from crashing, or at least starts it up again automatically if it crashes! I’m not a programmer so I don’t know how to build that program, but can’t they do that?

then I read something recently by a programmer talking very technical language on how to do something like that on like a linux server. but what about windows?

Like I say, i don’t LIKE this tech shit. it doesnt INTEREST me. I just became OBSESSED with how things worked, because my job was to fix weirdass problems, and I hated not understanding the problems or solutions! It was more an unhealthy obsession than a healthy interest. It drove me crazy rather than made me stronger or tougher or better.

As I Tell My Daughters, a Fallen World Isn’t Fair

catholic blog linked to from the fatherland, seems pretty straight. no you shouldnt blame girls for getting raped, but you should also teach them about the unfairness of the world, and parties with lots of alcohol are not great environments for young women. dressing like a whore gives you the worst kind of attention from the worst kinds of men. sex should be treated with the respect it deserves, as the sacred life creation process. its not a motherfooking GAME. teach your daughters to be careful as fook. how to avoid danger, and also the “near occasion of sin.”

The World Thinks Sex Is Boring

same author david mills writes about sexual morality and how people are so degenerate that the safety and security of a monogamous rel is simply not exciting and dangerous enough, well fook these degenerates

http://aleteia.org/author/david-mills/

so you need to build in “pockets of distance” to spice up your boring married sex life, advises the guardian or some shit. (for dumb women: thats a degenerate british newspaper, very marxist/progressive/degenerate/evil/sinful.)

http://aleteia.org/category/relationships/

hahahaha.

yeah i cant find the mission statement but its a catholic site. but what KIND of catholics? new agey bullshit francis loving catholic heretics hahaha? or good old skool traditional catholics?

How Do I Tell My Daughter I Had an Abortion?

hehehe well first be grateful that you have been able to raise a young woman in todays world who is morally intelligent enough to oppose abortion. and good for you for being ashamed of your abortion and hopefully repenting for it and raising a daughter who would never have an abortion. maybe you don’t even NEED to tell her. that will just complicate things and theres no NEED to tell her. of course it will bother you, you want to be honest, but consider that part of the Lifelong process of repentance for your Abortion hahaha. murdering your baby has consequences hahaha. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT. MURDERING YOUR BABY HAS CONSEQUENCES.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat/2012/05/fifteen-years-later-and-silent-no-more.html

hmm the catholic advice columnist has had TWO abortions herself. but has a good article here, saying the abortionists just treat it as a clump of cells, “a heavy period”, and the young scared women dont even REALIZE the GRAVITY of what they are doing!!!!!

good lord has EVERY woman had abortions? this is sad and horrifying.

Well there is apparently a ton of catholic women who have had abortions and they left heartbreaking comments on the above article and are showing a level of insight and awareness and thoughtfulness and remorse that I find appropriate. in other words they learn their lesson eventually, it just might take 20 years of grief and pain.  and certainly makes many women even MORE batshit crazy.

but yeah great comments. and i certainly dont hate these women. I feel sorry for them and I would probably forgive them and GOD in his infinite mercy has already forgiven them.

In fact, these “post-abortive” women might be our strongest warriors in fighting against abortion. for example, when you say youre a catholic, no one takes your anti-abortion Screeds serious, but when you say you’ve actually had an abortion, then you have a better chance at reaching them and changing their mind!

so in other words, women who have had abortions might be the best anti-abortion activists!

therefore, lets encourage all women to have at least one abortion hahahahahahahaha.

I shouldnt have to mansplain  moralsplain GODSPLAIN why that is a bad idea hahahaha.

if a woman were willing to tell me she had an abortion though, I wouldnt automatically cast her out. I would appreciate the courage and the trust to tell me something like that. that is a tuff thing to tell people. but I would want to have a deeper discussion on how she feels about it now, how it has changed her, how she views life, and what she would want to teach her children. in other words, has she suffered and changed and become pro-life. or does she had no remorse, no regrets.

everybody sins and does bad things. me too. and it sucks that women are so available, in NEAR OCCASION if you will, of such a god damn horrible sin, and are told by everybody that it isnt a sin, then they have to come to terms with that sin, and live with it the rest of their lives! the guilt would drive me crazy too! and it is my male privilege that I will never be in near occasion of that sin!

so yeah i dont envy women. really satan tempts women a lot more than he tempts men. thats why he went to eve before adam hahahaha. women are more easily corruptible. you can literally plant sin and evil in their womanly uterus so they can become Mothers of Sin And Evil hahahaha.

also see plenty of men praying for help with their Struggles with Pornography. good for them to realize its a bad thing and there is no reason to ever look at it.

someone in that patheos article commented that abortion is wrong not just because it offends god, but because its just plain bad. like smoking cigarettes is not just a way of disobeying your parents, but it also gives you cancer. thats WHY they forbid it. and its exactly why GOD Forbids Abortion. even if there was no god, and as an agnostic, there might not be, abortion would still be horribly wrong. this is the kind of Moral Intelligence I want WOMEN to show.

its easier for nonreligious people to say that Murder Is Wrong. But they have a hard time saying Abortion Is Murder.

it really is one of the biggest moral issues of the day. thats why us religious fanatics go so crazy about it. nonreligious people should be going crazy about it too. smart nonreligious people often rightfully conclude that it is horrible. like my buddy millennial woes.

how did i get so obsessed with it? not sure. like I said, once anyone starts really thinking about it, they should reach the same conclusions! but Evil Forces in our world try to convince everyone Its Not A Big Deal.

lets play what if again hahaha. what if that woman confessed to me she had an abortion. well I would be shocked and appalled but also humbled that she trusted in me to tell me such a secret, deep, dark thing. but I would also want to have the courage to have a deeper conversation to see if she learned an important moral lesson from it……or just forgot about it as an unpleasant part of her past. would she do it again? or was she changed for the better? becoming a pro-life warrior who would never do anything like that again? or was she trying to push down the guilt? would she feel any guilt at all? would she do other abortionlike things, like abort a person in a relationship, like me? would she deal with the Consequences in a mature, courageous manner, or just run away and try to forget? But overall I would forgive her, and appreciate the Intimacy and Trust needed to tell somebody that, like some women never tell their children or friends or family. so i’d appreciate that. but i’d also want to know, what did you learn? would you ever do this again? surely you have to have an opinion on it NOW.  either you’re an unrepetent sinner hellbent on murdering babies, or you recongized the error of your ways and have VOWED to NEVER do this again. theres no middle ground on something so egregious.

of course the pro-choice people paint it as something not egregious at all. so yeah you DONT have to be all MORALISTIC about it. its a nuanced situational choice that must be made dispassionately.

or the woman who had to have TWO abortions before she came to jesus hahaha because she didnt really learn anything between the first and the second. didnt do any serious reflection.

I was frustrated that That Woman seemed unwilling to do Serious Reflection on Serious Things……like our Relationship. and what I meant to her. and my Pain.

just THINK about it. don’t IGNORE it.

and i think this is a similar thing many women do with abortion. they dont WANT to think about it too deeply, because what they find might scare them. so just get it done fast.

who writes the contracts for contractors? I would HOPE that an attorney writes the contracts, because I know Contract Law is a big deal. but I’m not a lawyer. or a contractor. Maybe they just use template contracts from Nolo.com or avvo.com or robert shapiro.com . contracts written by contract lawyers, but you just buy a book of them for $50 rather than pay a real lawyer $400 an hour to write your contract for you. seems like a good way to cut costs goy.

 

 

EUTHANIZE, REPENT, AND REPEAT!!!

march 18

called the person i had to call, they were nice, i carried on the convo LIKE A BOSS, will go do my test TOMORROW, got get get a fresh cover letter done for then. nice. moving along nicely here.

heres a great tip. I went on youtube and searched mock interview and found the ones where the actually had a person answering the questions. I already KNOW the standard questions, I just can’t THINK like some HR retard and come up with the right answer, I really needed some help from a Normalfag, just show me the Correct NOrmalfag answers and I will memorize them, that’s all I want, I will copy the exact same thing the lady says about being a motivated self-starter who wants to be part of a winning team.

some of the other stuff was like oh make an effort to cover the trashy tattoos on your arms neck and face, and then tell us about yourself and why you’re a perfect fit. F00k you I don’t HAVE trash tattoos but I am certainly not a pefect fit for your stupid job, I just need a job to make money like EVERYONE needs a job to make money, tell me the right thing to say, and I’ll say it!!!!!!

but there is one vidya, an australian one where they interview a canadian woman for a Phone Sales job, that was actually VERY useful because it was like a recording of the ACTUAL interview, not idiot recruiters telling you How To Prepare. NO. I want to hear ACTUAL INTERVIEWS and use THOSE to prepare. and I strongly recommend you do the same.  Just copy from others. yes you can change a few words. but you won’t need to change many!

and then memorize it, rote memory, just like memorizing a prayer or whatever.

If you can actually think using that kind of reasoning, more power to you, normalfag. I am the best candidate for this job because I add value by providing maximum return on investment for the company while minimizing costs and working together as part of a winning team, and getting out in front of problems, to create lasting relationships with very satisfied clients, and adding value to this satisfaction.  in addition to facilitating an excellent client experience, I also share the values of this organization’s vision and mission. see how easy that is?????

If you are a loser slob like us, you probably just wear a loser hoodie and call that a coat or jacket. welp, you’ve also got to get TWO additional jackets on top of that hoodie: one, a heavy duty winter jacket WITH HOOD that can keep you warm on long powerwalks in the winter; two, a classy, Business Professional Peacoat or Dress Coat that you can wear to WORK or Job Interviews, so when you come in wearing your coat you don’t look like a Prole Loser Slob, hahahaha.

When you talk to Proles, talk like a Prole; when you talk to Posh Bourge Middle Class F4gg0ts, talk like one of those.

Be multilingual. Blend in, gain trust, curry favor. Proles say things like Aint and Mornin and Runnin and Goin and f00kin dont got no and yeah and awesome and curse like sailors and aren’t afraid to use sweet words like b1tch or g4y or f4gg0t or sperm burpin gutter slut. Middle Class F4gg0ts use words like certainly and yes and change agent and circle the wagons and meeting and growth driver and theoretically and for instance and hegemonic and ideology and lean in and safe space and interfacing and development and metrics.

If you have a Problem with One Drug, you will probably have a problem with ALL Drugs, unfortunately. I have decided never to drink alcohol again, yet I still think, OH YEAH, I can still smoke WEED then. NOPE. Because there was a time when I smoked too much WEED too, and tbh, weed has hurt me every bit as much as alcohol. in different ways of course. weed kept me from taking golden opportunities that were available at the time, and not work hard enough; alcohol was prob worse for my mental, physical and social health.

so now i could rationalize Weed because those opportunities I had when I was young I simply don’t have any more, so I don’t have anything to LOSE by smoking weed, in other words. like that rationalization?

Well, it is hard to argue with! It IS true!

other than smoking weed now would prevent me from getting a New Job, if I were to take action and hit the bricks and FIND that job, and INTERVIEW for it, and GET the job. And I guess it’s the same damn thing in Colorado where Weed is “Legal.” the employers are still all b1tches like that.

so where the hell do all these god damn pot smokers WORK????? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!

So where do they get the money to buy the drugs? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!!!!

what grinds my gears about this catholic religion perhaps most of all is the “dying with dignity” and how its a mortal sin to euthanize a terminally ill person. so if you want to avoid an eternity of torture event horizon style, you have to make your poor family go broke in this life to keep your dying ass alive as long as possible, paying off slimebag dockers and nurses and hospitals and healthcare admins, spending 9000 dollars a day to keep you alive one more day when you’re senile and pooping your pants and doped up anyway.

well only RICH people can afford to do that, so the catholic god is biased towards the filthy rich pigs in other words, right?

the workaround is that you euthanize your dying relative, then beg forgiveness from god, then when you’re dying, hope your family euthanizes you.  heck PRESSURE them to euthanize you, tell them to do the same thing you did. euthanize, then repent, then repeat!

CONFIDENCE IS THE FEARKILLER

sat march 1 2013, 3.11pm

day off, but I DONT have to go back monday. NICE. really maybe all i needed was a 3 or 4 day weekend, hehehe. fear is the mindkiller, fear is the soulkiller. if i could just go in there and not give a f00k, not be afraid, just CHILL OUT.  then I might get called in if my “quality” slips, but I got called in for that ANYWAY. so best just not to CARE about it.

CONFIDENCE is what kills FEAR. If I REALLY TRULY felt like a BOSS, banging prime of youth QTz, I wouldn’t care if I had to take call after call after call after call.

So by that logic, banging prime of youth QTs gives a man confidence? Well, it’s not the only possible source of confidence, but you can’t deny that banging prime of youth qts WILL give you considerable confidence. you cannot possible prove it does not.

heh maybe that’s my libido coming back. i guess that can’t be a bad thing. I just looked at the FB pictures of the prime of youth (or close to it) QT at the job I wanna bang the most, and thought it would be very fun, and confidence-building, to bang her.

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang. banging qts. like this terminology dont ya.

its ok because i have female friends i get along with just fine and whom i DONT want to bang, thank you very much.

PROTIP: LISTEN TO LOUIS ARMSTRONG. i am on spotify listening to louis armstrong albums. he is a TOTAL boss, AND will uplift your feeeeeeeeeeeeelings and emoooooooootions.

PROTIP: LISTEN/WATCH/READ AJAHN BRAHM.

I met a real life person who mentioned Ajahn Brahm and I said HELL YEAH, and then HE said HELL YEAH, another person who’s heard of Ajahn Brahm, yeah, the guy is a total badass, I said, and he agreed. So get in on the big secret here. I had a post about Ajahn months ago, and then made the mistake of NOT watching ALL his vidyas on youtube. The guy is truly a GIFT FROM GOD and I should give him the retroactive Most Inspiring Man Of 2013 Award.

But my catholic religion says that buddhism and ajahn brahm is a tool of satan leading us away from jesus and into hell. but does it REALLY say that? well, I DO prefer Traditional Conservative Catholicism. but I don’t like if it says that about my man Ajahn because he is ON POINT.

Ajahn had hit me deeper than any Christian type lately. But to be fair, I haven’t been seeking out decent christian inspiration. they’re probably out there, and they probably don’t even discourage you from listening to ajahn. i dunno,

so yeah i am a unique snowflake. I am a Raging Far Right COnservative, with a penchant towards Far Right Catholicism and Pre-Vatican2, but I DO like Ajahn brahm. go figure. like him quite a BIT, thank u.

GO LISTEN TO AJAHN RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IS AMAZING. I LUV HIM and if he were moar famous he could Save A Lot of lives with his Teachings. Buddhist Teachings. he is not a Cultmaster or anything.

take a day off of your stressful job to bang prime of youth QTs and listen to louis armstrong and ajahn brahm. the end.

also been looking for a good “cuban” tango salsa latin style thing. the “buena vista social club” is pretty close to what I want. need more stuff like that. and not like pop singer latin pop. but serious musicians with souls.

so with Poker, you got to wait and wait and wait and wait until you get a great hand and then can win a huge pot. but during that waiting, you’re slowly but constantly losing money as you pay the blinds, call only to get a bad flop or bad beat….you’re losing money faster and moreso than you’re making money. i don’t know if i’m playing too many or too few hands.

maybe my ideal job would be to be a Music Producer, because I am a nazi about music production, but i’m NOT really good at WRITING music. But I do know what SOUNDS good. both in terms of composition AND production.

or i get creative ideas like doing a remix of an album/songs I would like to have a different produciton; or how about this, Mix a Live Recording in with a Studio Recording to make it a bit rawer, hehehe.

or remix the live recording to make it sound better.

anyway you absolutely can NOT make a living doing this, it is not merely a horrible career choice, it’s not a career choice at all. this is a HOBBY that by DEFINITION you must do for free, because only .00000000000000001% of Music Producers do it for a LIVING. You have better chances of getting into HARVARD and entering the Elite 1% THAT way.

so, it’s also possible that women only APPEAR and SEEM Slutty because they are brainwashed by The Media and Elites, so they act and dress slutty and don’t slut-shame; but they are Really not themselves sluts because they simply don’t (yet) have the High C0x Count required to BE a slut.

Now obviously time is not their friend here – as time goes on and they get into the late twenties, they will have racked up enough c0x to be an official (old) slut. I’m talking mainly about YOUNG women – the only women worth committing to long-term.

(men always think Long Term on everything; Women always think Short Term on everything)

ANYWAY, point is, if a young 18 yo QT seems like a Slut, there’s a chance she’s really NOT, she just doesn’t KNOW any better, but she hasn’t ACTUALLY taken Manny C0x yet. you can tell when she does because then she’ll be REALLY crazy and have that dead-souled 1000-C0k Stare.

So here’s where YOU step in with your strong, traditional, masculine hand and say “NO WAY, BABY, that sh1t’s BAD. Don’t Do That.” and then steer her away from actually becoming a slut, and towards being your faithful, loving, traditional wife.

the end. wow I write better when I am Laid Off!

Also, Bookmark Websites Often, and backup your bookmarks to The Cloud often.

$12 AN HOUR FULLTIME JOBS DO NOT EXIST

heh. so that’s my new yardstick. the vaunted fabled mythical “$12 an hour fulltime job.”

sat feb 15, 6.47 pm

went to church. it was kinda boring but they are good people, and the priest is good, i like our priest, and the guest priest we get sometimes is good too. not like the 80 year old priests that don’t know how to give a sermon. these guys are like 50 or 60 and know how to give a good sermon, how to talk to people. priests need to know how to do this. this week i thought about quitting muh job and becoming a priest. i’d thought about it before, and as time goes on, it gets to be better and better of an idea. become a roman catholic priest. f00k yeah.

i was thinking about treating myself to chinese dinner comfort food, then i decided i wanted WHITE CASTLE more.  cheeseburger sliders with onion chips that i actually put in the burger. dipped in a mix of open pit bbq sauce and a bit of franks red hot. good lord it was good. but they raised their prices SIGNIFICANTLY since last time I ate there. it was like 87 cents for 1 cheese slider. just a few years ago it was like 60 cents tops.  but it was real good. i got a ton of them so i can snack on them later today as I play cards and drink code red hehehe.

then went for powerwalk. nice. cold but not as cold as it has gotten. and no snow.

hmm. you could EASILY lose 10 dollars a week playing at the lowest micro stakes holdem tables like i have been. can’t even imagine moving up. when i wasn’t playing for money, I was 20 grand ahead. Now I am like 20 real dollars DOWN. either these players are better or i’m playing a lot worse or getting real unlucky. prob all. i do not play every day. course then I might lose even more!

so do i drink nyquil tonight, sat night? maybe. or i just stay up till 3 gambling again. it was the idea of gambling that got me out of bed today hehehehehehe. pretty shameful. only total losers and creeps actually get a thrill from gambling. eh well, women can’t do it for me any more. gimme benzos and gambling. note: i do not actually have a supply of benzos. i took 1 benzo like 2 months ago and have been idealizing it ever since.

i did have a dream with girl7 a few days ago, that sucks.  i suppose my punishment is that i will have dreams about her for….3 more years. great. punishment for the mistake of falling in True Luv w her and taking too long to act on it. For being a big Feminized Fedora F4gg0t Beta Wimpy Unmasculine Niceguy Beta Orbiter Supplicator., and her being a damn asexual lesbian didn’t help. well, it’s better than being a cvm chugging wh0re, it goes without saying. but now i’m too old to care that so many women are cvm chugging wh0res. let them be wh0res who chvg cvm, it don’t front me, they’re only hurting and shaming themselves, meanwhile, i’m making monay and pwning shizz. innit for the long haul, investing in things that don’t go bad in 10 years, hahahahahahaha. shqt you might as well get an IRA.

PREFLOP raises might be the way to encourage morons to bet serious money so you can win serious pots on seriously premium hands. (top 3: AA, KK, QQ.)

the best is when your computer craps out on you when you finally get a sweet hand like KK and freezes for 15 seconds forcing your to fold your hand. hehehe first world problems.

well if GOD is not going to make me get laid off at work, maybe he can see it fit that I can bang the cute girl there 20 or more times.  heh. because GOD is gonna actively promote Sin, hehehehe.  No, sin is my own free choice. however I would in that case freely choose to sin, for the tradeoff of more Punishment by Being At Muh Job. But the Job itself shouldn’t need any balancing out, because it is Just Punishment for my sin of Wasting My Youth and Being Stupid. so I don’t deserve any leniency from this punsihment, because i’m doing this sentence for a damn good reason. a damn valid penance. hehehe don’t you love the christian pessimistic godawful worldview where everything is a sin and a punishment and you’re always guilty and suffering and paying the price.

YES. FINALLY GOT MY BIG WIN. got QQ, raised preflop, some idiot went all in with 4.44 or so, I called it, he had AQ unsuited, there was a Q somewhere in the flop or turn, beat his 455 with Tripz, came out with 12 something, had bought in with 10. finally got ahead of muh buy in. HOWEVER I am still behind overall, well behind overall. would have to get to like 30 now to Break Even LIfetime Career here. The Dangers Of Gambling. Sh1t, I made more money at my old job than I do GAMBLING. I LOSE money gambling. I should start keeping records. as of 2/25, I have put in $28 lifetime into this.  about $7.75 left.  I am about $21 down lifetime. as of today. not to mention bitcoin has lost a decent amount of value since i started gambling hehehehe.

but now that i won a big pot finally, i should walk away and watch a movie for the first time in 2 weeks.

aaaannnnd i bought 1 silver round off of ebay. can find ok prices there if you are not too picky on styles. i figured if i get laid off then the bad thing about that is, no income, and cannot buy these sweet luxuries like silver and bitcoins that i am only buying now because i have some serious income.

it is kinda serious income by Today’s Standards, where it’s impossible to find a 12$ an hour Fulltime Job, but NOT serious money by our Parents and Grandparents Generation, when 18 year old kids or high school dropouts could make better money in 1960 dollars or 1990 dollars.

well, it’s not good to compare yourself to previous generations, and they can s your d anyway.