aug 31



put this in sidebar, i want to caputre the worst article ever AND a few hundred comments

nymag open marriage cuckoldry article by sonmore



here is the sequel / follow up with the man and his “wife.”

the first article is timeless, classic, godawful, and i will put it in the sidebar As A Ghastly Monument (Ruins of Beverast reference/credit.)

i might be moving Towards A New Cover Letter Hermeneutic where the new Way is really to hit them HARD with a Fully Tailored, Individualized First Paragraph that cups their balls and sucks their dick and appeals to their mission and demonstrates my passion for their company and how i can add value and increase profitability by specifically matching the requirements of the specific job, in the culture of this specific company, addressing these particular pain points, and why i am THE SINGLE BEST CANDIDATE out of millions, and this, and no others, IS my Dream Career.

in other words, REALLY step up my Tailoring of the CL. I tailor the CL a TINY bit, changing a few words or sentences each time. so, do more than that.

also, attempt to aim for the Average Salary of my state, and NOT the whole US, which is 28k, and my state is a LITTLE below that.

yeah 12 to 16 is a ridiculous range to give. i should just say 12 to 14.

or 12 to 13 hahahaha.

people who have college careers and make 40k + cringe at talk like this. they never mention numbers. i mention numbers ALL DAY.

yeah i guess i used to think it was VULGAR too. but now I just think its Keeping It Really Real. How Much Does The Market Say You Are Worth?

no its not the sum total of Who You Are…..but it DOES tell me a LOT about what Your Employer thinks you are Worth, and What Kind of Life you live, and probably the type of people you associate with.

(People tend to associate with people who make about the same amount of MONEY as they do. So I feel a little weird when people who make WAY MORE MONEY than I do, huge winners, invite me to hang out with them. Of course I accept the invitation graciously.)

so yeah fook this 15 dollars an hour bullshit. i am willing to pay my dues and make 13 dollars an hour like the people in muh subaverage state. those fancy phaggots in joo york and phag phagcisco can take their 15 dollars an hour and pozz each others assholes with it. besides in those cities it costs 600000k per month to live in a one room shack tiny house, and it costs 90000000$ for a package of ramen. no thanks.

if a man is complaining about COMMUNICATION all the time, and his wife/gf is never WILLING to COMMUNICATE, and she’s always SHUTTING ME OUT, and so DISTANT, and putting up a WALL, she has to be willing to COMMUNICATE, well then thats him signalling that HE has HUGE communication issues, he’s projecting, HE’S really the one who doesnt know how to COMMUNICATE hahahaha.

i was watching married at first sight and derek was complaining about his distant, unwilling, stubborn, bitchy horrible (but very bangable) wife, who simpyl would not give him a chance. he is kinda a douchebag but he had some GREAT points about communication, where I nodded my head vigorously and said YES. YASSSS. THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

and hes also right that she is no spring chicken at 33, but my god she has a very fookable ass hahahahahahaha. she has to be in the top 10% of attractiveness for 33 year old women. I would DESTROY her.

and this derek is a pretty masculine man too, i’m sure he would destroy her too, but thats how stubborn she is. she probably would have gladly let him destroy her 5 years ago. now im not sure what she wants. probably a total beta bucks sort of guy. she probably WANTS the total doormat that says anything you want hunny. but i have to wonder, who does she want For SECS, at this moment? she’s always gonna want the masculine guy for secs. so why not have secs with her masculine husbando derek?

unless she’s such a sleazebag that she needs TWO or more men. alpha fooks, beta bucks, and never the twain shall meet. i guess she’s never experienced a best of both worlds alpha who is masculine AND makes a ton of money. but  she’s hawt enough to pull such a man (albeit not necessary without sharing him), and doesnt she meet plenty of powerful men as a Stewardess? like the powerful alpha men in First Class and such?

so yeah i am most fascinated in this couple. then sonia and nick a distant second, and i dont really care about the third couple hahahaha.

basically a 33 year old woman with no children is guaranteed to be SUPER CRAZY. her body is telling her to have a baby RIGHT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE and you have to keep that in mind. i guess its ok if you want to have a baby right now too. but its gonna be real hard to have MULTIPLE babies with this woman. she shoulda started having babies AT LEAST TEN YEARS AGO.

fulton sheen on difference between BAD, and EVIL.


hilarious first hour with moishe, not sure if florian mentions the sheen story in this one though

start at 1:47:00. this is exactly where florian makes the point about fulton sheen. this is probably the single best episode of nationalist review EVAR: a full hour of moishe being absolutely ridiculous, natt being natt, a bit by “degenerate dan”, a full discussion and reading of that horrendous nymag cuckold article, AND florian uses that to introduced sheen’s point:

that a bad man simply does bad things, sins, like lie, cheat, steal, hurt, kill.

but a truly EVIL man actively and intentionally works to undermine truth, beauty, and goodness ITSELF. true evil seeks to portray vice as virtue. like the cuckold husband who does disgusting mental gymnastics to portray his cuckoldry as True Luv for his wife. true evil just makes a disgusting mockery of truth, beauty, and goodness.

i didn’t actually hear sheen’s actual story, just florian describing it. but i’ve seen plenty of sheen, and he is pretty badass, and the more i hear of florian, the more i like/luv him. he is possibly the new fulton sheen for 2016 alt right. and he is a very young man, like 23 years old. AND he is in seminary to become a catholic priest. AND he is alt right and joo wise and insanely, autistically smart. AND he has created a better joo character than morrakiu, with moishe the mossad handler.

ok florian is definitely in contention to be man of the year 2016 hahahahaha. i sort of wish he wasn’t becoming a priest so he could have white children. but I like the idea of a 1488 catholic priest too.

shit i would say become a priest and have children ANYWAY. let them kick you out.

actually i think you can become a priest AFTER you have children.

florian should def have children. but I very much appreciate him being a MAN OF GOD.

his regular voice is a little autistic, but he is SUCH a great awesome guy it doesnt even matter. this guy is SO good.


so yeah. listen to that whole episode. if its not SHUT DOWN by the time this post posts. im downloading that shit again.

the best thing ive heard lately that isnt the fatherland hahahaha. well it does have ryan from the fatherland and i luv him too. great, great men. I would LUV to go to a trs convention and meet these guys.


millennial woes on the new daily shoah!!! (100th episode!) NOICE!! I hope he uses some N words and K words and F words and such and isnt such a nice guy hahaha. i dont think hes even been on the shoah before. ITS ABOUT TIME.

sept 1

had weird dream that i was a Rookie Police Officer just starting out, getting On The Job Training from the guys, and I was very quickly On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown, and was very anxious like, whoa guys, i think i’m in over my head, i don’t think im TOUGH ENOUGH to handle this, maybe i’m not cut out for this job, maybe I should quit, I mean really, I dont have it in me! you need a tougher guy!

and the guys were all tough but also generally in favor of me not quitting I think, or they would disrespect me as an inferior pvssy if i quit, and were like, yeah its tough at first, but you just gotta TOUGHEN UP, gotta TUFF GET GOING, gotta not let it bother you, power through it, etc and other platitudes.

i think for most Cops though there is better training than what i experienced in the dream. like when you pay 20 grand to go to Police Academy, that’s where they train you for like 12 weeks hehehehe on all the aspects of being a Cop.

also cops get ongoing paid training because of like lawsuits and shit. peoples lives are at stake, its one of those jobs, like doctors and nurses and shit. lives are in your hands. people could die, and that means million dollar lawsuits, thus you implement official training pogams to Cover Your Ass.

unlike some companies where you dont need to cover your ass so much, and you can Screw and Joo customers with impunity, so it DOESNT MATTER if your people are trained. and the advice from management is, do what you need to do to get them on their way and make/save time and money.

thankfully i never had to Upsell Add On Products and shit. but the employees I was Supporting sure did. and they were generally as poorly trained as we were, and there they were talking to the ACTUAL customers. pressured by THEIR managers to try to sell the customers shit they REALLY didnt need, and also not understanding the products. yet trying to sell them. to people who didnt need them. when the products themselves were overpriced shady bullshit that were thoroughly jooish to the core. buy this extra advanced warranty goy. just in case. only 50 dollars more. just in case of a worst case scenario.

also the company was in general, dying. there is talk the company will be sold. but its a publicly traded company with shareholders. can you have a reverse IPO where a once public company becomes privately held again? i guess you can do esoteric shit with stock buybacks or stock splitting or something.

i guess theoretically the stock price could go SO low, and then there are Equity Firms who might gobble up a Majority Ownership of the company.

i dont know, I don’t have an MBA, I only have like 25 credits of Business Classes, hahahahaha.

which is more than Average, 13 dollar an hour normies have!

but you can also get an ok business sense from working at a company for a few years and just talking to people.

at my company, there was tons of rumors and speculation, among the more savvy people like me, that were even interested in speculation about why was the company doing this, rather than being like idk ikr lol weed lmao.

people like me who were frustrated and wanted to understand why the company and our department was such an egregious, backwards, shameful, disorganized, mismanaged clusterfook, and how it could be improved. well, more training, more actual legit experts who knew what they were doing, more time and money, more quality people actually improving actual quality, more testing, more actual listening to customers, much better executive management who understood the importance of IT as being more than just a Cost Center, etc.


but yeah its just horribly frustrating to have an angry, stressed person pushing you to fix their problem, because youre supposed to be the expert, fixing problems is your job, and you have no idea what you’re doing, and you look like you don’t know what you’re doing, becuase you really don’t, and you can’t appeal to a Subject Matter Expert in a way that is actually useful for either you or the customer. Most customers would be jsut fine if you said, wow, this is a pretty complex problem, here’s Joe Flabeetz, he’s been here for 2 years and really knows what he’s doing, Joe is great. its much worse when you say, i dont know what to do, let me talk to Joe, and then you “talk” to Joe in a shitty chat room where he is helping 20 other lost souls like you, telling you stuff that doesnt make sense. then you go back to the customer and try to do that thing, and explain it.  NATURALLY, UNDERSTANDABLY, they wonder, can’t you just get Joe over here? he clearly knows what he’s doing, you clearly don’t, so just get him on the case.

but one does not simply just get a SME on the case. because they are just as busy as we are and are not gonna escalate a case without a fight.

you could probably turn newbies into SME’s quicker with REGULAR TRAINING. but again, thats millions of dollars for people who want to get out of here ASAP anyway. or they can just go mad and snapquit like me hahahaha.


the company can afford to not support their employees, shit they can afford to some extent to provide shitty, overpriced, screwjob jooish service to their customers. anything you can get away with. no exchanges, no refunds. all sales final. don’t like it, complain to the better business bureau bitches. don’t like it, do this shit yourself or go to our competitors.

see thats going too far though! why would you knowingly push your customers towards your competitors?

AND THATS WHY THE COMPANY IS FAILING. it used to be a successful, reputable company. now it is a sinking ship and more people can’t ignore that.

so yeah, i think a large part of why my experience was SO NEGATIVE was the culture of the company, being a large “big dog” old school company that was starting to fail on a massive scale. i mean they will implement retarded changes on a daily basis, yet be so Entrenched that they wont implement the actual Radical change needed. just do stupid spazzout bandaid fire putout bullshit. nothing meaningful, nothing that is good for the long term. short term only.

heh. that woman didnt care. she was just like go with the flow, dont let it bother you, dont bother me about it, i dont care, idk lol, dude weed lmao.

i mean women are not well equipped to have logical, sensible, reasonable, insightful thoughts about Business anyway……… but with all these educated women in careers, i think they can at least go through the motions of talking about business.

well, we did not have alot of those type of women in our department hahaha.

so i’m saying i prefer a more business savvy woman?

NO….i don’t even prefer a more intelligent woman. shit she was intelligent ENOUGH. i think she COULD have been taught to be more business savvy, not that she needed be…..

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, really I just wanted her to talk to me more, be nicer to me, and just have a HALFWAY decent conversation about Our Jobs and Our Company!!!!!!! don’t you have an OPINION on this retardation! it affects you as much as it affects me! and she probably DID have an opinion! she just didnt want to talk to me any more. and i was very upset about that. her withdrawing from me and building a huge wall.

so yeah that was deffo the root issue hahahaha.

and I was very frustrated because I was aware of that root issue, and trying to resolve it, and getting NOWHERE, because I needed cooperation and willingness from her, and she refused to get it.

lets meet, lets sit at the table together, talk, and try to MAKE A DEAL. lets negotiate and compromise and both leave unhappy hahahahahahahahaha. and i was sitting at the table all day waiting for her to show up, and she just no called no showed the whole time.

so yeah that why i was very upset hahahaha.

dont just say dont let it bother you. get a thicker skin. believe me I would love to.

now, I had great conversations with a couple of my male friends at the job, and we all should have been promoted to level 3 and never have to take a call ever again hahahaha. make 18 bucks an hour hahaha.

i wasnt asking her to be as insightful as us, i just wanted her to give SOME effort into thinking about this. i mean it was stupid NOT to have righteous indignation over it, and to just say dont let it bother you, and smoke MJ. you can smoke MJ and still have opinions about this ridiculousness! and partially i was JEALOUS of her ability to DISCONNECT from the job like that, do it so Coolly, yet still miraculously do a “good” job and be liked by everyone. well yeah she was a likeable person hahahaha.

ishould probably give agalloch a second try. should i listen to the above album or “the mantle.” i was torn. i went to youtube and tried to compare the Productions, which one sounded better. they both sounded pretty close but maybe this one has a 5% stronger guitar sound. also, i technically tried listening to “the mantle” like 4 years ago and i was like, yeah this is ok, but i guess im not in the mood for something like this.

i guess now at least i am in the mood to give them a try again. i guess i want something thats like beautiful atmospheric black metal, but very melodic and very easy to listen to, with immediately catchy riffs and melodies and songs. but without being so NEW that it gets TOO much into “post rock” or “blackgaze”. something old enough that it was around when I was young and actually interested in music. the mantle came out in 2002, which is right in my wheelhouse yearwise, this one came out in 2006, when i had stopped caring about music, well, thats not true. i recall i was keeping up on the current work of katatonia and goatwh0re. but not being super duper into it, or into anything. lots of drinking. damn. increasing amounts of drinking. stupid. i stopped caring about new music, or music in general, some dark days.

so 2002 was really a much better year for me music wise than 2006…..but ive already heard a bit of the mantle, and if i like ashes against the grain, i’ll try the mantle. also the mantle is like 68 minutes long, which is way too long for an album. ashes is 59 minutes. still way too long, but better than 68.

and of course in 2014 and much of 2015 i was not interested in music so much either, because worrying about the job, or i was devastated by my loss and failure hehehehe. so i guess ive rebounded to a kind of peak right now of interest in music, as in trying to find NEW music, which is remarkable, cuz much of the time i like to Build A Wall and say yep ive got more than enough music thank you, dont need any new stuff. there’s nothing good left out there. its all hipster phaggot degenerate bullshit. theres plenty of stuff  from before 2000 i havent listened to yet.

and its FINE to close the ranks and circle the wagons….but i dont want to do that more than half of the time. i would always like to be SOMEWHAT open to new music.

and agalloch i think is right in line with stuff that i have enjoyed. like when i was young i enjoyed opeth a lot, i still enjoy their older stuff, and i have always enjoyed “in the woods….” a norwegian sorta black metal group from the 90s that was atmospheric and progressive and avant garde when those things werent NEARLY as cool as they are now.

heh like the other day i wanted to listen to hammerfall and i only ended up listening to the first two songs on the album. and that album was only like 40 minutes. perfect length.

went to jcpenneys. it was a mixed bag. i had high hopes.  saw some beautiful high school girls in there with their Moms for Back 2 Skool shopping. nothing wrong with a 35 year old man ogling 16 year old gurls hahahahahaha.  at that age you really want to Protect and Provide for them, and you would Happily swear an oath to their Faithful Fathers that you would not bang them until they are 18, or if the father really wanted grandchildren, then you could have him sign off for age 17, and you would promise to not frivolously divorce her hahahahahaha. and she would promise to not frivorce YOU really.

so yeah you dont look at the beautiful 16 year old gurl and say “yeah id like to pump and dump that trashwh0re, ride hard and hang them up wet” the way you would say about a 30 year old skank. you say “damn i wouldnt mind MARRYING that gurl and having her be the mother of my children. Assuming she’s not ALREADY a huge slut. Let’s have a talk with her father.”

90s and 00s metal. that was my thing. i’m not sure i even lasted 10 good years. but 1996 to 2003 for sure might have been my best years.

in terms of The West, those were not great years. especially 96 to 2001 hahahaha. the late 90s was the high of nihilism and decadence and degeneracy where shit was probably just as bad as it is NOW, except people were more despairing. shit was BAD, although things werent AS Sexualized, and attitudes about Gays were definitely a bit better. but there was nothing to hold onto. there was no alt right. there was no hope for the youth, which i was one. the music was especially shitty. it reflected the nihilism and lack of general quality perfectly. stuff like groove metal and nu metal and korn. well at least there was a ton of catchy alternative pop type stuff. i shoulda got into that more at the time.

there seemed to be much less red pilled young people then. people were not waking up fast enough.

and i do think 911 in 2001 was a bigass paradigm shift, the beginning of a new era, a time of awakening. the sleeping nihilist giant awakens and then stumbles around in confusion for about 10 more years hahahaha. trying to shake off that nihilism and sense of no purpose. trying to figure out what was going on and what to do about it.

for me at least, the internet did not become a HUGE thing until after 2000. from like 98 to 00 we used slow dialup shit and i was already a degenerate, looking at jooish filth and actually reading Erotic Stories. which I guess is slightly less jooish. playing doom and quake. writing ridic stories of me finding a Nice GF and having a traditional monog longterm rel at age 15 hahahaha. see, my main goal was not degenerate.


hahahaha i have been looking at these goddamn RYM lists for like a month straight trying to find the perfect album to listen to

like here is the best metal (incl all subgenres) for the 90s.


you can also put in an exact year like 1996 hahahahahaha

also i wanted to say that listening to the daily shoah for the first time in a while (well i did listen when fatherland jim guest hosted a few weeks ago), is that i must remind myself not to forget how powerful mike enoch is. i mean he is really smart and just says the most interesting, smartest, most awesome things. i guess its easy to forget because his voice is ridiculous and he sounds like seth roganblatt. but the things he says are just amazing. here he is doing a 80 hour work week, hasn’t had time to read the news or do anything but work his tech job, and he comes onto TDS and is pretty high energy and very very solid and convincing in the things he was saying, just having very very good conversations where he is contributing most of the quality.

not to crap on seventh son or special guest millennial woes, but yeah this is enoch’s show and he is very very good at what he does. needs to trim down the number of people so he can dominate the conversation any more. him, SS, and MW would have been ideal.

heh i saw my confirmation email for applying to a part time job, and thought OH NO THATS THE FASTEST REJECTION EMAIL EVER!! and then laughed when i realized it was just the CONFIRMATION email that they had received my application. awesome job though hahahahaha. 30 hours a week, 15 dollars an hour, right when i have officially announced that 13 dollars is my new goal, that 15 is out of my league hehehehe.

ITS OFFICIAL. MY PRICE HAS OFFICIALLY GONE DOWN TO 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR. THAT IS MY WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING. hahahaha. no silly, that’s just my worth to the MARKET of human beings!!!!!

at the gas station today I saw a white man arguing pretty rudely with the poor clerk making 9 hourly. i couldnt see the clerk because they were in this little glass booth. it was one of those gas stations that doesnt even have an inside, and the cashier is in a tiny booth/shack. there was a huge line behind this white guy who….i couldnt tell what was going on. it sounded like he was getting charged 36 dollars when he disputed it and thought he should be charged 26, and he wasn’t gonna pay a penny more. he was maybe early 30s and had a stupid mohawk like haircut and tattoos all over his arms. good job. i really hope the clerk was not white, but even if they WERE nonwhite, they didn’t deserve this kinda treatment, and I was a bit ashamed that a fellow white man could be such a dickhead to a poor miserable gas station clerk. Whites are supposed to be Polite Customers. its blacks and arabs who are Asshole Customers.

I thought about going up to the clerk and apologizing hahahahaha. well, not apologizing, but sorry you had to go through that. I know you weren’t trying to do anything wrong. he was way out of line. he’s an asshole.

go get your manager. uhhhh the managers not here today. i’m not sure when he will be back. i can’t do anything for you. well then call the manager right now. i want to talk to him right now. uhhhh he doesnt give employees his phone number. well who do you call if its an emergency? meanwhile there is a huge line of people who just want to prepay for their gas. i avoided all this because i paid at the pump with a card hahahahaha.

mike enoch does not get all super intellectual either. he just gives real talk, absolutely no bullshit, no jerking off. he says like and dude a lot but unlike with most people who say these words a lot, it does not make him sound unintelligent. he is real good at talking to people and just great verbal intelligence on this goy hahahaha. this is the guy you want talking for you. real convincing salesman. but not in a bullshit dishonest way. he needs to quit his job and spend all his time talking and networking and meeting with people. he is a real good people person and communicator.

i wonder what the hell he did before TRS. I guess he had a big libertarian phase and did a lot of 4chan. dont quote me.

listened to the first 2 songs of the agalloch album, they were pretty good. decent production. a blast beat would be nice. also the black metal vocals are pretty unimpressive and really dont seem to fit. something a bit deeper, or alternately, a DSBM or old burzumy scream would be better. the corny clean vocals are better.

uhhh seems to be plenty of “melodic doom” in the vein of old katatonia going on, that i wasnt really expecting, but i guess i’m not surprised, and i am not disappointed either.

overall, very melodic, very very, not super opethy unless you think of an alternate opeth where they continued in the vein of their first two albums…….which is not a problem for me!

but now i have a damn melodic doom katatoniaish song stuck in my head and I don’t know what it is!!!!!!!!!

it has a catchy mournful weeping guitar melody.

it is pretty brave murder day ish, but i dont think its from that album.

it could be from the first october tide album, but i dont think so.

and i’m not sure what else it could be.

sept 2

you know i think it might be beneath the rain or whatever that doom band from portugal with the guy from morgion singing.  on their second main album.

before the rain?

YASSSS there is is, aroun 20:23, actually that motif is all throughout this song “shards” and it repeats a lot, but i was particularly thinking of the higher octave guitar going into the “weeping” range hahahaha.


yeah the album is a little long but it has a great production and great style and is pretty underrated and i only found it because i am a big morgion fan.

fooking rate your music lists really interferon with muh job search hahahaha.

fook working for a living like an honorable white man. i am just gonna become a black ingra hahahaha.

yeah i dont want to pedestalize That Woman too much. it’s VERY GOOD to remember I have been Decent Friends with, I have been CLOSE TO OTHER WOMEN before. she doesnt STAND ALONE. I had at least two pretty good female friends where we were decent friends for like approx 2 years. talking freely, being comfortable with each other.

yeah i never fell in LUV with them but thats NOT THE POINT. well, yes and no. yeah that was the one thing that differentiated that woman.

but i never want to lose sight of the fact that i have gotten close and friendly with OTHER women. NOT JUST HER.

rejection email THREE MONTHS after applying for job. the spreadsheet did not even exist until 2 months ago.

entry level position at big well known company, great job, but 95% of its postings are for Senior Level Engineers.

ANYWAY. when you fall in LUV with a woman you FEEL closer to them. it’s a fantasy, its all in your head, but i don’t like describing it like that, thats misleading. because it’s VERY real for YOU. YOU ACTUALLY ARE very close to THEM……………………………but THEY are not nearly as close to YOU. by saying its all in your head, it mocks the realness, truth and beauty of your Luv. so, I wont do that.

like when i fell in luv with women i didnt even KNOW. OF COURSHE i FELT close to them, even though I didn’t even KNOW them!

the DIFFERENCE this time, was I fell in luv with someone I ACTUALLY KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and still, apparently, I didn’t know them well enough!

but yeah i MUST NOT think of myself as some WEIRDO CREEPER ALIEN who CANT get along with women, because I have become close friends with OTHER WOMEN THAN JUST HER.

I just never fell in LUV with any of them, so thats why That Woman was such a big deal.

went to jcpenney and found some great nike revolution 3 running shoes. but they did not have the size in the color i wanted.

so then i went to zappos and ordered the size for about the same price. i hate the idea of ordering SHOES online, but technically i HAD already tried on a pair of the same style of shoe, just a diff COLOR. and i wasnt gonna back down here.

interestingly enough, i was aiming to replace a pair of Revolution 2 which i had bought 2 years ago and are now falling apart and completely worn out. i guess i am a Nike Revolution man. so I should look for the Revolution 4 in 2 more years.

man those one year at a time charts on rym are great. i can see all the albums I was enjoying at the time, ANDDDDDDD see all the ones from that time period that I missed. there was a ton of good stuff in those years that i missed because i was a teen listening to groove metal hahahaha. no i liked half good stuff too, some black metal. i have been a black metal fan for TWENTY YEARS hahahahahahahahahaha. well, maybe 19.

just tell these antiwhite k1kes in interviews that ive been spending the last 14 months looking at black metal charts on RYM hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha but i havent been smokin any MJ ya k1kes!

not that you should be PROUD about smokin MJ. its for degenerates. its INHERENTLY DEGENERATE.

its TERRIBLE that I still want to do it. that I still want to do it WITH HER. goddam degenerate DEVILS CABBAGE.

if anyone speaks glowing of MJ, publicly humiliate them! and then go smoke it privately hahahhaha.

i really hate successful people who make like 30k a year who say i can smoke MJ and I’m a successful productive member of society! I’m happy with my life and my job and I am a successful family man! and I make 30k a year!

comment sections of news articles on legalizing mj and all these pro-legalization types saying shit like that.

well i am pro legalization too, but more of the “conservative libertarian” way, rather than Have Big Govt Regulate and Tax Tax Tax it! but let each city decriminalize it.

i mean I just imagine all the tax money being wasted anyway, like the 200 million in tax revenue colorado got from MJ. it will just be wasted on public skools in black ghettos hahahaha where the money wont do any good. or paying teacher administrator pensions hahahahahaha.

it wont go to fix shitty roads, it wont go to more police and ems in black crime ghettos, or blight cleanup, or anything useful like that. thats where your MJ tax money will go. just like alcohol and tobacco tax money.

so yeah dont tax it. save the money to build up MJ production companies hahahaha. or even small time MJ producers in the cities where it is legal.

well companies are STILL gonna drug test for jobs anyway, that practice has not changed even in colorado, in fact its probably gotten even more prevalent! cuz now theres more lazy ingrish potheads out there who would make terrible workers hahahaha.

i am being partially facetious since i always try to work my hardest even if i am using MJ afterwards.

but maybe i am just a shitty worker but i think i am a good worker.

i mean shit, i can’t handle the bare minimum at muh old job! my best was worse than their worst! hahahahaha.

NO, that’s not entirely true. for a good long while I was good and getting better. establishing a reputation for excellence. might have even been promoted in 2 more years, hahahahaha, for a company that never promotes from within!

(i of course dont want to work for a company that doesnt promote from within hahahaha)

because hiring outsiders for upper level jobs is a YUGGGGEEEEE red flag of a shitty horrible company. run dont walk.

applied for great job at Dream Employer University, but its 36k. when my skills are only worth 26k hahahaha. isnt it a waste of 25 minutes to apply for this?

i found another one that pays 15 an hour. much better. but still out of my league hahaha.

in fact the jobs that pay 13 an hour, aka 26k a year…..dont usually even list their pay. they just say nothing.

so i guess the lesson is, always apply for the jobs that dont list a number, because that number is probably low enough to be closer to your actual worth.

but still. why not just list the god damn pay for ALL jobs, from 10 dollar an hour to 40 dollars an hour jobs, so people that think the pay is too low, wont even apply.

unless they are trying to overreach and get people who would normally be “too good” to apply????

well that’s not what I do, i apply for 12 and 11 dollar an hour jobs if they seem chill/easy or I like the company.

anyway the 15 an hour job would be GREAT. like 5 miles away, full time office job, for satellite campus of bigass university that probably takes average care of its employees with 401k, health care, and at least 13 an hour wage hahahaha. 9 to 5 hours, weekends off, the works. real solid family man stuff. no joke.



may 5

This fookin guy does a real talk video on despair and su1c1de after a friend of his recently K’d himself. now I have never consistently listened to AURINI, but I dont doubt he’s an ok guy. He probably repented for banging his other friends wife. I wonder if thats the guy who K’d himself!

no i dont hate aurini, he seems like an allright guy for the most part, his voice is just so annoying and he’s spergy and really no 40 year old man should not have a wife and kids. well some mgtows probably want these things but cant get them so they make a youtube channel as a substitute to express themselves. I do something similar.  i am lonely and desperate and needy and clingy for a good wife hahahahaha.

prolific yt commenter frances haypenny tells a horrible story of her husbandos friend who had an evil bitch wife who drove him to S001c1de, leaving 5 kids fatherless while she begs for money on gofundme and enjoys fookfests with latin men and now you have 5 white kids who will grow up to be batshit crazy. so sad.

ok now i have an actual interview for the part time 13 dollar an hour job that I have taken 3 hours of testing to get to this advanced round, where I will be grilled by 3 very higher ups for a damn 12000 dollar a year job.

maybe the job is just taking angry phone calls from city residents ALL DAY and finding creative ways to give them the runaround and protect the city higher ups from doing any work and being held accountable hahahaha.

Nope Not my problem, nothing we can do, call someone else, i dunno who. a lawyer. a plumber. a mechanic. best buy geek squad. comcast. not my problem. it is what it is. cant be fixed. no explanation. if you need an explanation, you’re not gonna believe the explanation anyway. i am the supervisor. i don’t have a manager. yes i’m practically a C-level executive VP.  next!

I dunno. everyone who works at the city seems ok. well except the city council, nobody likes them hahahaha. but thats different. hey i am a concerned citizen, i actually watch the city council meetings a couple times a year hahahaha.

ok. will bring a 3 page resume, a 1 page resume, my 2 letters of recommendation, then when I write a thank you email to hopefully all those people on THE DEATH PANEL, will include attachments of those documents as well.

if people want good technical support in their companies, there might have to be a REVOLUTION. or customer support for that matter. hire more people, give them regular training, make them take less calls, give them more power, not penalize them for long calls, make the higher ups accountable, give them good wage and health care, not chain them to their desks, let them do stuff other than take phone calls all day. have weekly meetings and actually relevant useful training.

yep all that amounts to a REVOLUTION hahaha. it really does.


I will need to take 3 to 5 days to do a full audit of your systems. I will then need to write documentation and knowledge base for your systems. Then I will educate and train all users on proper use of the systems. Not simply tell them, if this happens, push that button, but empower them to be able to use the system proactively to prevent issues from occuring, and also have the basic skills to resolve simple issues independently. This will minimize the need for a dedicated IT Support Staff. Build service contracts with vendors for when serious problems do occur. Don’t hoard and hide knowledge in an unethical way to make yourself seem more indispensible. Write clear, complete documentation and make it available to all levels of users on the intranet.

this guy I know just waltzed in and pissed all over the previous IT Guy with this type of Real Talk. the previous IT guy was fired on the spot and the guy I know offered the job. Now he is a retiree just looking for a part time hobby really, so I hope they dont overburden him. I was talking to him about “the interview” and the job, since at first they were really vague, but they were unhappy with their IT Guy. who seemed to be a loose cannon information hider.

I hate information hiders but I know IT Guys can be twisted into mean nasty trolls by their company and the higher ups. but this is a smaller company and the IT guy deals directly with The Owner, so…..i don’t think that’s the case.

I am optimistic that my Acquaintance will Walk Out if the thing gets too time consuming and or ridiculous. He is a stable, steady, confident 65-year old man who has had a full, rewarding life of marriage, children, grandchildren, and lots of World Travel. He has met Tom Petty. He has been to Rhodesia. He has seen Led Zeppelin and the Doors. He has been just about everywhere in the world. He has gotten into bar brawls with Cowboys and has knocked bar douchebags out cold with Roundhouse Kicks. He really is one of the most Interesting guys I have met in a while and does not have a big head about it all. very down to earth and friendly. great guy. good role model. I am still not sure what his career actually was. I thought he was more on the business side than the Engineering side. He was definitely not an Engineer or a Scientist. I think most of his travel was for Business. He does not have a masters degree. not sure what his bachelors degree was. I know he played College Football and probably had the attention of a lot of Cute College Gurls. Like I say, he is around 65 years old. Solid Baby Boomer. He probably Slayed plenty of College Pvssy but was still able to find a good wife. He is a very solid man however. like, not a loser. he is able to pull a good woman. and definitely a smart guy, at least a 114 IQ on him, hahahahahahaha. His children grew up to be successful, make money, and give him some grandchildren.

I don’t like asking him about all these personal things but I am slowly building my catalog of this information hahaha. I think he might have been married twice and the first one did not last too long. any woman would be a total idiot to divorce him. maybe he divorced her because he realized he could do better, hahahahaha.

Very good masculine presence on him. I can only imagine what he was like at age 20, pumping iron and slaying college pvssy in the late 60s, early 70s. horry sheet.

no he did not go to a fancy pants college, he went to a super normie college that everyone in the area who went to college at that time went to , and which thousands of people still go to, which has produced many successful grads, which anyone with a brain knows is a decent school, but no one outside of the state really knows about it, the Campus is not super pretty, and people at my highly selective University scoffed at it as a third tier toilet. but hopefully changed their minds once they got out in the Working World and met some perfectly smart and capable grads of that school. hopefully. or they just went to orgs where everyone went to harvard and mit and stanford and duke and columbia. fook that hahahahaha.

well, i will go into the interview, let them bust my balls with tuff questions for 30 minutes, and then I will be free to go. Hell I am free to stand up and leave at any time if they begin busting my balls too much anyway! not that that is likely to happen.

but if I can sweat bullets on a 3 hour phone call, bullshitting out of my ass, then surely I can handle a 30 minute interview. and if they dont like my answers, fook em. hire one of the other 100 people hahahaha.

no its not cost effective to interview 100 people, that’s why you have two fooking rounds of stupid testing just to get to the interview. and some of those 100 people walk out of the stupid multiple choice test.

The second test was a lot better, re using word and excel and seemed much more relevant to the job. They could have given that one first, but it was certainly too much work to check. a 100 question multiple choice test can be checked quickly with a scantron.

again i really feel underqualified for the FT job there, and wish they had a FT opening that was a little less on pay grade. So I have a better chance of getting the PT job in other words. I mean its better than nothing but I also know PT jobs make me lazy hahahaha but FT jobs make me crazy hahaha but every adult man MUST have a FT job, thats simply THE RULES.

comments in that aurini video refer to how the root of all sin is SHAME, and christ was trying to rid us of shame. I cant say I agree with this. I think a little shame is a great thing! and you should feel shame for the sins you commit. Of course then you should feel shame, then repent, then receive GODS forgiveness and mercy, then move on with your life not burdened by shame, but also wiser and stronger and more virtuous and less sinful.

ARE YOU TELLING ME that IT Higher Ups don’t know about the existence of, or how to set up, a “process monitor” that checks the health of certain important processes, so that if an important program which you can’t see crashes suddenly, it give an error box, and also automatically restarts, and gives you another unmissable error box if it can’t restart.

so it’s up to the level 1 idiot to dream up such a thing and find a way to implement it.

when you dont have teachers or mentors or trainers, you are like a feral child or wolf. You find a way to survive day to day, but you often miss very basic fundamental things, which in hindsight SEEM obvious, but it REALLY helps to be taught those things by somebody. you can save yourself YEARS of struggle and stress and wasted time. just to have a Mentor teach you some key Best Practices.

like yes, there ARE Process Monitors that do this. nobody told me about them. I’m not sure if our company used them. they SHOULD have, because we had a lot of important semi-hidden programs that would often crash without warning and disrupt all sorts of shit! I would think, jeez, for such an important program, there should be something that keeps it from crashing, or at least starts it up again automatically if it crashes! I’m not a programmer so I don’t know how to build that program, but can’t they do that?

then I read something recently by a programmer talking very technical language on how to do something like that on like a linux server. but what about windows?

Like I say, i don’t LIKE this tech shit. it doesnt INTEREST me. I just became OBSESSED with how things worked, because my job was to fix weirdass problems, and I hated not understanding the problems or solutions! It was more an unhealthy obsession than a healthy interest. It drove me crazy rather than made me stronger or tougher or better.

As I Tell My Daughters, a Fallen World Isn’t Fair

catholic blog linked to from the fatherland, seems pretty straight. no you shouldnt blame girls for getting raped, but you should also teach them about the unfairness of the world, and parties with lots of alcohol are not great environments for young women. dressing like a whore gives you the worst kind of attention from the worst kinds of men. sex should be treated with the respect it deserves, as the sacred life creation process. its not a motherfooking GAME. teach your daughters to be careful as fook. how to avoid danger, and also the “near occasion of sin.”

The World Thinks Sex Is Boring

same author david mills writes about sexual morality and how people are so degenerate that the safety and security of a monogamous rel is simply not exciting and dangerous enough, well fook these degenerates


so you need to build in “pockets of distance” to spice up your boring married sex life, advises the guardian or some shit. (for dumb women: thats a degenerate british newspaper, very marxist/progressive/degenerate/evil/sinful.)



yeah i cant find the mission statement but its a catholic site. but what KIND of catholics? new agey bullshit francis loving catholic heretics hahaha? or good old skool traditional catholics?

How Do I Tell My Daughter I Had an Abortion?

hehehe well first be grateful that you have been able to raise a young woman in todays world who is morally intelligent enough to oppose abortion. and good for you for being ashamed of your abortion and hopefully repenting for it and raising a daughter who would never have an abortion. maybe you don’t even NEED to tell her. that will just complicate things and theres no NEED to tell her. of course it will bother you, you want to be honest, but consider that part of the Lifelong process of repentance for your Abortion hahaha. murdering your baby has consequences hahaha. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT. MURDERING YOUR BABY HAS CONSEQUENCES.


hmm the catholic advice columnist has had TWO abortions herself. but has a good article here, saying the abortionists just treat it as a clump of cells, “a heavy period”, and the young scared women dont even REALIZE the GRAVITY of what they are doing!!!!!

good lord has EVERY woman had abortions? this is sad and horrifying.

Well there is apparently a ton of catholic women who have had abortions and they left heartbreaking comments on the above article and are showing a level of insight and awareness and thoughtfulness and remorse that I find appropriate. in other words they learn their lesson eventually, it just might take 20 years of grief and pain.  and certainly makes many women even MORE batshit crazy.

but yeah great comments. and i certainly dont hate these women. I feel sorry for them and I would probably forgive them and GOD in his infinite mercy has already forgiven them.

In fact, these “post-abortive” women might be our strongest warriors in fighting against abortion. for example, when you say youre a catholic, no one takes your anti-abortion Screeds serious, but when you say you’ve actually had an abortion, then you have a better chance at reaching them and changing their mind!

so in other words, women who have had abortions might be the best anti-abortion activists!

therefore, lets encourage all women to have at least one abortion hahahahahahahaha.

I shouldnt have to mansplain  moralsplain GODSPLAIN why that is a bad idea hahahaha.

if a woman were willing to tell me she had an abortion though, I wouldnt automatically cast her out. I would appreciate the courage and the trust to tell me something like that. that is a tuff thing to tell people. but I would want to have a deeper discussion on how she feels about it now, how it has changed her, how she views life, and what she would want to teach her children. in other words, has she suffered and changed and become pro-life. or does she had no remorse, no regrets.

everybody sins and does bad things. me too. and it sucks that women are so available, in NEAR OCCASION if you will, of such a god damn horrible sin, and are told by everybody that it isnt a sin, then they have to come to terms with that sin, and live with it the rest of their lives! the guilt would drive me crazy too! and it is my male privilege that I will never be in near occasion of that sin!

so yeah i dont envy women. really satan tempts women a lot more than he tempts men. thats why he went to eve before adam hahahaha. women are more easily corruptible. you can literally plant sin and evil in their womanly uterus so they can become Mothers of Sin And Evil hahahaha.

also see plenty of men praying for help with their Struggles with Pornography. good for them to realize its a bad thing and there is no reason to ever look at it.

someone in that patheos article commented that abortion is wrong not just because it offends god, but because its just plain bad. like smoking cigarettes is not just a way of disobeying your parents, but it also gives you cancer. thats WHY they forbid it. and its exactly why GOD Forbids Abortion. even if there was no god, and as an agnostic, there might not be, abortion would still be horribly wrong. this is the kind of Moral Intelligence I want WOMEN to show.

its easier for nonreligious people to say that Murder Is Wrong. But they have a hard time saying Abortion Is Murder.

it really is one of the biggest moral issues of the day. thats why us religious fanatics go so crazy about it. nonreligious people should be going crazy about it too. smart nonreligious people often rightfully conclude that it is horrible. like my buddy millennial woes.

how did i get so obsessed with it? not sure. like I said, once anyone starts really thinking about it, they should reach the same conclusions! but Evil Forces in our world try to convince everyone Its Not A Big Deal.

lets play what if again hahaha. what if that woman confessed to me she had an abortion. well I would be shocked and appalled but also humbled that she trusted in me to tell me such a secret, deep, dark thing. but I would also want to have the courage to have a deeper conversation to see if she learned an important moral lesson from it……or just forgot about it as an unpleasant part of her past. would she do it again? or was she changed for the better? becoming a pro-life warrior who would never do anything like that again? or was she trying to push down the guilt? would she feel any guilt at all? would she do other abortionlike things, like abort a person in a relationship, like me? would she deal with the Consequences in a mature, courageous manner, or just run away and try to forget? But overall I would forgive her, and appreciate the Intimacy and Trust needed to tell somebody that, like some women never tell their children or friends or family. so i’d appreciate that. but i’d also want to know, what did you learn? would you ever do this again? surely you have to have an opinion on it NOW.  either you’re an unrepetent sinner hellbent on murdering babies, or you recongized the error of your ways and have VOWED to NEVER do this again. theres no middle ground on something so egregious.

of course the pro-choice people paint it as something not egregious at all. so yeah you DONT have to be all MORALISTIC about it. its a nuanced situational choice that must be made dispassionately.

or the woman who had to have TWO abortions before she came to jesus hahaha because she didnt really learn anything between the first and the second. didnt do any serious reflection.

I was frustrated that That Woman seemed unwilling to do Serious Reflection on Serious Things……like our Relationship. and what I meant to her. and my Pain.

just THINK about it. don’t IGNORE it.

and i think this is a similar thing many women do with abortion. they dont WANT to think about it too deeply, because what they find might scare them. so just get it done fast.

who writes the contracts for contractors? I would HOPE that an attorney writes the contracts, because I know Contract Law is a big deal. but I’m not a lawyer. or a contractor. Maybe they just use template contracts from Nolo.com or avvo.com or robert shapiro.com . contracts written by contract lawyers, but you just buy a book of them for $50 rather than pay a real lawyer $400 an hour to write your contract for you. seems like a good way to cut costs goy.




march 18

called the person i had to call, they were nice, i carried on the convo LIKE A BOSS, will go do my test TOMORROW, got get get a fresh cover letter done for then. nice. moving along nicely here.

heres a great tip. I went on youtube and searched mock interview and found the ones where the actually had a person answering the questions. I already KNOW the standard questions, I just can’t THINK like some HR retard and come up with the right answer, I really needed some help from a Normalfag, just show me the Correct NOrmalfag answers and I will memorize them, that’s all I want, I will copy the exact same thing the lady says about being a motivated self-starter who wants to be part of a winning team.

some of the other stuff was like oh make an effort to cover the trashy tattoos on your arms neck and face, and then tell us about yourself and why you’re a perfect fit. F00k you I don’t HAVE trash tattoos but I am certainly not a pefect fit for your stupid job, I just need a job to make money like EVERYONE needs a job to make money, tell me the right thing to say, and I’ll say it!!!!!!

but there is one vidya, an australian one where they interview a canadian woman for a Phone Sales job, that was actually VERY useful because it was like a recording of the ACTUAL interview, not idiot recruiters telling you How To Prepare. NO. I want to hear ACTUAL INTERVIEWS and use THOSE to prepare. and I strongly recommend you do the same.  Just copy from others. yes you can change a few words. but you won’t need to change many!

and then memorize it, rote memory, just like memorizing a prayer or whatever.

If you can actually think using that kind of reasoning, more power to you, normalfag. I am the best candidate for this job because I add value by providing maximum return on investment for the company while minimizing costs and working together as part of a winning team, and getting out in front of problems, to create lasting relationships with very satisfied clients, and adding value to this satisfaction.  in addition to facilitating an excellent client experience, I also share the values of this organization’s vision and mission. see how easy that is?????

If you are a loser slob like us, you probably just wear a loser hoodie and call that a coat or jacket. welp, you’ve also got to get TWO additional jackets on top of that hoodie: one, a heavy duty winter jacket WITH HOOD that can keep you warm on long powerwalks in the winter; two, a classy, Business Professional Peacoat or Dress Coat that you can wear to WORK or Job Interviews, so when you come in wearing your coat you don’t look like a Prole Loser Slob, hahahaha.

When you talk to Proles, talk like a Prole; when you talk to Posh Bourge Middle Class F4gg0ts, talk like one of those.

Be multilingual. Blend in, gain trust, curry favor. Proles say things like Aint and Mornin and Runnin and Goin and f00kin dont got no and yeah and awesome and curse like sailors and aren’t afraid to use sweet words like b1tch or g4y or f4gg0t or sperm burpin gutter slut. Middle Class F4gg0ts use words like certainly and yes and change agent and circle the wagons and meeting and growth driver and theoretically and for instance and hegemonic and ideology and lean in and safe space and interfacing and development and metrics.

If you have a Problem with One Drug, you will probably have a problem with ALL Drugs, unfortunately. I have decided never to drink alcohol again, yet I still think, OH YEAH, I can still smoke WEED then. NOPE. Because there was a time when I smoked too much WEED too, and tbh, weed has hurt me every bit as much as alcohol. in different ways of course. weed kept me from taking golden opportunities that were available at the time, and not work hard enough; alcohol was prob worse for my mental, physical and social health.

so now i could rationalize Weed because those opportunities I had when I was young I simply don’t have any more, so I don’t have anything to LOSE by smoking weed, in other words. like that rationalization?

Well, it is hard to argue with! It IS true!

other than smoking weed now would prevent me from getting a New Job, if I were to take action and hit the bricks and FIND that job, and INTERVIEW for it, and GET the job. And I guess it’s the same damn thing in Colorado where Weed is “Legal.” the employers are still all b1tches like that.

so where the hell do all these god damn pot smokers WORK????? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!

So where do they get the money to buy the drugs? To Ask The Question Is To Answer It!!!!!!

what grinds my gears about this catholic religion perhaps most of all is the “dying with dignity” and how its a mortal sin to euthanize a terminally ill person. so if you want to avoid an eternity of torture event horizon style, you have to make your poor family go broke in this life to keep your dying ass alive as long as possible, paying off slimebag dockers and nurses and hospitals and healthcare admins, spending 9000 dollars a day to keep you alive one more day when you’re senile and pooping your pants and doped up anyway.

well only RICH people can afford to do that, so the catholic god is biased towards the filthy rich pigs in other words, right?

the workaround is that you euthanize your dying relative, then beg forgiveness from god, then when you’re dying, hope your family euthanizes you.  heck PRESSURE them to euthanize you, tell them to do the same thing you did. euthanize, then repent, then repeat!


sat march 1 2013, 3.11pm

day off, but I DONT have to go back monday. NICE. really maybe all i needed was a 3 or 4 day weekend, hehehe. fear is the mindkiller, fear is the soulkiller. if i could just go in there and not give a f00k, not be afraid, just CHILL OUT.  then I might get called in if my “quality” slips, but I got called in for that ANYWAY. so best just not to CARE about it.

CONFIDENCE is what kills FEAR. If I REALLY TRULY felt like a BOSS, banging prime of youth QTz, I wouldn’t care if I had to take call after call after call after call.

So by that logic, banging prime of youth QTs gives a man confidence? Well, it’s not the only possible source of confidence, but you can’t deny that banging prime of youth qts WILL give you considerable confidence. you cannot possible prove it does not.

heh maybe that’s my libido coming back. i guess that can’t be a bad thing. I just looked at the FB pictures of the prime of youth (or close to it) QT at the job I wanna bang the most, and thought it would be very fun, and confidence-building, to bang her.

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang. banging qts. like this terminology dont ya.

its ok because i have female friends i get along with just fine and whom i DONT want to bang, thank you very much.

PROTIP: LISTEN TO LOUIS ARMSTRONG. i am on spotify listening to louis armstrong albums. he is a TOTAL boss, AND will uplift your feeeeeeeeeeeeelings and emoooooooootions.


I met a real life person who mentioned Ajahn Brahm and I said HELL YEAH, and then HE said HELL YEAH, another person who’s heard of Ajahn Brahm, yeah, the guy is a total badass, I said, and he agreed. So get in on the big secret here. I had a post about Ajahn months ago, and then made the mistake of NOT watching ALL his vidyas on youtube. The guy is truly a GIFT FROM GOD and I should give him the retroactive Most Inspiring Man Of 2013 Award.

But my catholic religion says that buddhism and ajahn brahm is a tool of satan leading us away from jesus and into hell. but does it REALLY say that? well, I DO prefer Traditional Conservative Catholicism. but I don’t like if it says that about my man Ajahn because he is ON POINT.

Ajahn had hit me deeper than any Christian type lately. But to be fair, I haven’t been seeking out decent christian inspiration. they’re probably out there, and they probably don’t even discourage you from listening to ajahn. i dunno,

so yeah i am a unique snowflake. I am a Raging Far Right COnservative, with a penchant towards Far Right Catholicism and Pre-Vatican2, but I DO like Ajahn brahm. go figure. like him quite a BIT, thank u.

GO LISTEN TO AJAHN RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IS AMAZING. I LUV HIM and if he were moar famous he could Save A Lot of lives with his Teachings. Buddhist Teachings. he is not a Cultmaster or anything.

take a day off of your stressful job to bang prime of youth QTs and listen to louis armstrong and ajahn brahm. the end.

also been looking for a good “cuban” tango salsa latin style thing. the “buena vista social club” is pretty close to what I want. need more stuff like that. and not like pop singer latin pop. but serious musicians with souls.

so with Poker, you got to wait and wait and wait and wait until you get a great hand and then can win a huge pot. but during that waiting, you’re slowly but constantly losing money as you pay the blinds, call only to get a bad flop or bad beat….you’re losing money faster and moreso than you’re making money. i don’t know if i’m playing too many or too few hands.

maybe my ideal job would be to be a Music Producer, because I am a nazi about music production, but i’m NOT really good at WRITING music. But I do know what SOUNDS good. both in terms of composition AND production.

or i get creative ideas like doing a remix of an album/songs I would like to have a different produciton; or how about this, Mix a Live Recording in with a Studio Recording to make it a bit rawer, hehehe.

or remix the live recording to make it sound better.

anyway you absolutely can NOT make a living doing this, it is not merely a horrible career choice, it’s not a career choice at all. this is a HOBBY that by DEFINITION you must do for free, because only .00000000000000001% of Music Producers do it for a LIVING. You have better chances of getting into HARVARD and entering the Elite 1% THAT way.

so, it’s also possible that women only APPEAR and SEEM Slutty because they are brainwashed by The Media and Elites, so they act and dress slutty and don’t slut-shame; but they are Really not themselves sluts because they simply don’t (yet) have the High C0x Count required to BE a slut.

Now obviously time is not their friend here – as time goes on and they get into the late twenties, they will have racked up enough c0x to be an official (old) slut. I’m talking mainly about YOUNG women – the only women worth committing to long-term.

(men always think Long Term on everything; Women always think Short Term on everything)

ANYWAY, point is, if a young 18 yo QT seems like a Slut, there’s a chance she’s really NOT, she just doesn’t KNOW any better, but she hasn’t ACTUALLY taken Manny C0x yet. you can tell when she does because then she’ll be REALLY crazy and have that dead-souled 1000-C0k Stare.

So here’s where YOU step in with your strong, traditional, masculine hand and say “NO WAY, BABY, that sh1t’s BAD. Don’t Do That.” and then steer her away from actually becoming a slut, and towards being your faithful, loving, traditional wife.

the end. wow I write better when I am Laid Off!

Also, Bookmark Websites Often, and backup your bookmarks to The Cloud often.


heh. so that’s my new yardstick. the vaunted fabled mythical “$12 an hour fulltime job.”

sat feb 15, 6.47 pm

went to church. it was kinda boring but they are good people, and the priest is good, i like our priest, and the guest priest we get sometimes is good too. not like the 80 year old priests that don’t know how to give a sermon. these guys are like 50 or 60 and know how to give a good sermon, how to talk to people. priests need to know how to do this. this week i thought about quitting muh job and becoming a priest. i’d thought about it before, and as time goes on, it gets to be better and better of an idea. become a roman catholic priest. f00k yeah.

i was thinking about treating myself to chinese dinner comfort food, then i decided i wanted WHITE CASTLE more.  cheeseburger sliders with onion chips that i actually put in the burger. dipped in a mix of open pit bbq sauce and a bit of franks red hot. good lord it was good. but they raised their prices SIGNIFICANTLY since last time I ate there. it was like 87 cents for 1 cheese slider. just a few years ago it was like 60 cents tops.  but it was real good. i got a ton of them so i can snack on them later today as I play cards and drink code red hehehe.

then went for powerwalk. nice. cold but not as cold as it has gotten. and no snow.

hmm. you could EASILY lose 10 dollars a week playing at the lowest micro stakes holdem tables like i have been. can’t even imagine moving up. when i wasn’t playing for money, I was 20 grand ahead. Now I am like 20 real dollars DOWN. either these players are better or i’m playing a lot worse or getting real unlucky. prob all. i do not play every day. course then I might lose even more!

so do i drink nyquil tonight, sat night? maybe. or i just stay up till 3 gambling again. it was the idea of gambling that got me out of bed today hehehehehehe. pretty shameful. only total losers and creeps actually get a thrill from gambling. eh well, women can’t do it for me any more. gimme benzos and gambling. note: i do not actually have a supply of benzos. i took 1 benzo like 2 months ago and have been idealizing it ever since.

i did have a dream with girl7 a few days ago, that sucks.  i suppose my punishment is that i will have dreams about her for….3 more years. great. punishment for the mistake of falling in True Luv w her and taking too long to act on it. For being a big Feminized Fedora F4gg0t Beta Wimpy Unmasculine Niceguy Beta Orbiter Supplicator., and her being a damn asexual lesbian didn’t help. well, it’s better than being a cvm chugging wh0re, it goes without saying. but now i’m too old to care that so many women are cvm chugging wh0res. let them be wh0res who chvg cvm, it don’t front me, they’re only hurting and shaming themselves, meanwhile, i’m making monay and pwning shizz. innit for the long haul, investing in things that don’t go bad in 10 years, hahahahahahaha. shqt you might as well get an IRA.

PREFLOP raises might be the way to encourage morons to bet serious money so you can win serious pots on seriously premium hands. (top 3: AA, KK, QQ.)

the best is when your computer craps out on you when you finally get a sweet hand like KK and freezes for 15 seconds forcing your to fold your hand. hehehe first world problems.

well if GOD is not going to make me get laid off at work, maybe he can see it fit that I can bang the cute girl there 20 or more times.  heh. because GOD is gonna actively promote Sin, hehehehe.  No, sin is my own free choice. however I would in that case freely choose to sin, for the tradeoff of more Punishment by Being At Muh Job. But the Job itself shouldn’t need any balancing out, because it is Just Punishment for my sin of Wasting My Youth and Being Stupid. so I don’t deserve any leniency from this punsihment, because i’m doing this sentence for a damn good reason. a damn valid penance. hehehe don’t you love the christian pessimistic godawful worldview where everything is a sin and a punishment and you’re always guilty and suffering and paying the price.

YES. FINALLY GOT MY BIG WIN. got QQ, raised preflop, some idiot went all in with 4.44 or so, I called it, he had AQ unsuited, there was a Q somewhere in the flop or turn, beat his 455 with Tripz, came out with 12 something, had bought in with 10. finally got ahead of muh buy in. HOWEVER I am still behind overall, well behind overall. would have to get to like 30 now to Break Even LIfetime Career here. The Dangers Of Gambling. Sh1t, I made more money at my old job than I do GAMBLING. I LOSE money gambling. I should start keeping records. as of 2/25, I have put in $28 lifetime into this.  about $7.75 left.  I am about $21 down lifetime. as of today. not to mention bitcoin has lost a decent amount of value since i started gambling hehehehe.

but now that i won a big pot finally, i should walk away and watch a movie for the first time in 2 weeks.

aaaannnnd i bought 1 silver round off of ebay. can find ok prices there if you are not too picky on styles. i figured if i get laid off then the bad thing about that is, no income, and cannot buy these sweet luxuries like silver and bitcoins that i am only buying now because i have some serious income.

it is kinda serious income by Today’s Standards, where it’s impossible to find a 12$ an hour Fulltime Job, but NOT serious money by our Parents and Grandparents Generation, when 18 year old kids or high school dropouts could make better money in 1960 dollars or 1990 dollars.

well, it’s not good to compare yourself to previous generations, and they can s your d anyway.










The one Word. The ONLY Word. THE Magic Bullet that will Solve All your problems, Fix Everything Wrong With You, Change your bad habits into good habits, magically transform you from a loser into a winner.

A Miracle. a miracle to You, from GOD.

The one word.

The ONLY Word.


june 26

* Great Advice For College Students: Join a RELIGIOUS Club. The Women there will probably be less promiscuous and decadent. Everyone will probably be nice and hard working and have good habits for you to admire. The Girls will probably not Dump You for just wanting to Cuddle for the First Month and Take It Slow, because they will share your Conservative Values. Protip: Religious people may be annoying, but they’re way LESS annoying than atheists. A lot of Well Adjusted, Healthy, Admirable people are Religious.

I guess I would let you join a Buddhist group but I worry there might be some “free love” sluts up in there. But I am bretty open to Buddhism. However you’re probably not mature enough to even THINK of Buddhism until you’re 30. Or 40. Damn just start with a CATHOLIC group and go from there. Hard to go wrong with the Catholics, hahahahahahaha.

So there you can meet Cute Young College QT3.14s who will Cuddle With You, Not Dump You for being Awkward With Sex, meet smart kids doing smart things, probably some successful families you can network into, and they can keep you off of drugs and booze, because you can Relieve Your Stress and Anger by hanging out with these nice welcoming people, or cuddling with your Chaste Catholic QT College Gurlfran. Problems solved!

* But yeah I’m not gonna talk TOO much about Religion on this blog, and I will certainly not try to CONVERT anyone. I’m not sure I will ever even HAVE Pure FAITH myself. I have more doubt than faith actually. I would be a great atheist. But instead I choose to align myself with CATHOLICS. That should tell you something. That atheists are the most annoying, hateable bunch on the planet.

* LIFT. Hope you haven’t forgotten The One Word. LIFT.


* The more you LIFT, the less you will hate College, and the better you will Do at college, and the better you will compete against the INCREASING number TRYHARDS for the DECREASING number of Good JOBS.

* And by “good”, I don’t mean Middle Class. I mean Upper Working Class so you can have a FAMILY someday. That’s all.

* If you drink Iced Tea all day, your teeth WILL turn a disgusting brown. So try to brush your teeth every day, hahaha. no seriously I know that feel. I feel ya. bro. Sometimes you are just so angry and tired and exhausted that you just want to lay down, you don’t even want to brush your TEETH before going to bed. You MIGHT brush your teeth for a QT but there ain’t no QT. (You would not brush your teeth for a landbeast seacow hambeast single mom!)

* “Who Are You To Judge Women Like That? You Don’t look like fagan fagling, or fagging fagum, or fagg pitt, or whatever?” no i do not. but the good news is, you DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE for a Hambeast! Because it’s better to have NO ONE! (Not saying Hambeasts might not possibly be good people. You just don’t want them in your Bed.)

june 27

what up son.

* really like the idea about a Motivational Managerial Quote in your Cover Letter. Think of Big Savvy CEOs having Managerial Conversations on Twitter. Powerful 4ss CEO’s, and not just Bill Gates because every moron knows who he is. Dig A little Deeper and find quotes that sound really impressive and smart and profound and poetic and technical. this will be a work in progress to find the perfect quote. something that makes YOU look really smart for thinking that the quote is smart.  Then open up your cover letter (or maybe conclude it with), “Jugdish Chatterjee of Fortune 50 C0mpany says, ‘the fundament of synergy is in fact communicative creativity and mindful vanguardization’ “.

THEN write ONE sentence on why you think that sentence is so smart. This whole Quotation Reflection thing CAN’T take up more than TWO SENTENCES, this IS a COVER LETTER after all, so you have to be SHORT.

THEN go into your standard spiel of how you know how to use ALL Microsoft Office Programs INCLUDING Access and Sharepoint.

But you DO have your MS Office Specialist Certificate, right?

hahaha. ANd remember you can always watch Sharepoint Vidyas on youtube for 1 hour before the interview so that way you don’t feeeeeel like you’re Boldface LYING, and will be able to Fake Confidence all the more convincingly.

Try not to pick someone too “EDGY” like Tim Ferriss. Although Kewl Kompanies probably wouldn’t think he’s so Edgy. There’s probably a New Edgy Kid on the Edgy Business Block by now anyway. I don’t keep up on f4ggy managerial MBA jargon. I WILL use it to my advantage, though, and encourage you to do the same.

Or maybe look up Ridiculous Interview Questions like “How Many Quarters would it take to stack up as high as the empire state building” or “how many Windows are in New York City” or “how many sheep are in new zealand” and Cleverly, almost arrogantly State These Facts in your Cover Letter as Briefly and Succinctly as possible. With Perhaps a VERY BRIEF explanation of how you figure these things out. For example, “I know the size of the angle of the two clockhands at time 12:41 is exactly .23456pi radians BECAUSE this time represents exactly 23% of 360 degrees”.

Or some stupid f4gg0t bullsh1t like that.


sunday june 23 2013

promised to talk about giving up. well I give up on that hahahaha. No but I WILL come back to that, it’s unavoidable, it’s staring at us every day in the mirror.

But I might as well share ANECDOTES, of course anecdotes are not PROOF of anything, there’s no right and wrong, nothing means everything, don’t you wish you could be an Intellectually Superior Fedora Wearing Atheist PHILOSOPHER who is Intellectually and Morally Superior to Religious People who are all HURRRRR DURRRR MUH HUMAN DIGNITY, MUH MORALZ. There is no such thing as morality or right and wrong, and if your Gurlfran wants to set up a website of her getting plowed by 900000 dudes, you have no right to get all butthurt and creepy and jealous and buttmad and buttangry about it, you intellectual inferior!


Heh I was thinking of this article on Bad Catholic where an Anon Atheist Philosopher talks about how wrong and intellectually inferior the Catholics are to be against Porn because it Degrades People. Hurr Durrr. Heh so maybe the article wasn’t perfect but god damn I wanted to punch that Anon Commenter in the Face! Go Become a f00king Fulltime College Professor with your PhD, Beotch! Hope when you have a Kid they Consent to do Really Perverted Porn! But as long as it’s FEMINIST Porn THEN it’s ethical.  F00KING MORONS.

So that got me fired up for a few mins.

So I figured stop looking at the more “negative” things of 4chan like r9k, and look more at the “positive” things of 4chan, namely /fit.


the health and fitness board. /fit has the power to turn r9kers into HAPPY HEALTHY NORMALFAGS.

“Normalfags” or “Normies” is one of those words that can have a positive or negative connotation IMHO, depending on context. Sometimes r9kers rage against the stupid moronic normalfags who mock and reject them……sometimes as they cry on a foreveralone nevergf night they wish they could just been born a normalfag because normalfags are happy, healthy, productive members of society, who are able to set and reach goals, have a gf, have a job, not drop out of school, get respect, etc.

so sometimes we hate the normalfags, other times we just wish we WERE a normalfag winner and not a neet virgin foreveralone disglacefur shamfur rosel.

Heh. so this blog is just becoming my own personal 4chan text archive.


“why don’t you lower your standards” on what board do you think, haha


“how many D’s is too many? for a gf? for a wife?”

heh robots ask the most penetrating incisive questions.

I would say if you can get action from a real QT it doesn’t matter how many D’s. but the more d’s she’s had, the less likely you should be to Get Serious about her!

Also, if a Conservative Woman is taking D’s under Conservative Moral CIRCUMSTANCES, ie, ONLY within a Monogamous, Committed Relationship, then because of that, her Number will HAVE to be quite low!

(You Want a Conservative Woman for Monogamous Committed Waifu Gurlfran Relships.)

But I would also say if a QT wants to Bone Down you shouldn’t reject her because she’s taken too many D!x!!! or else you might always regret passing up your Big Chance to Practice Having S with a QT slut. Just don’t f00king marry her or Fall In Luv with her! Make a game of it, see if you can bang her 50 times before you get too beta and in luv and she dumps you. And use the energy from the banging to help you Gain Momentum in Good Habits re Career and Education. Like filling out papers or signing up for so and so program or writing cover letters.

* buy a Calculus Textbook off Amazon for $5 and take your time to work through all the chapters, all the problems, one by one, at your own pace. It will take much longer than if you were taking the actual class, because the class is fast as f00k. Note To Educational College Plutocrats: you could MAKE MORE MONEY if you split up calculus in 4 or 5 classes! in this case the students would probably understand the material better. It would be more worthwhile than making them take a Diversity or Political Sensitivity Class.

* reel fast Movie Review: Brother (“Brat”) by “Alexei Balabanov” A controversial writer whose controversial political and practical ideas I admire recommended Brother 2 as an example of a movie that wasn’t absolute degenerate immoral decadent FILTH, had good values, etc. NEtflix didn’t have 2, so I rented 1. It was not good. 2/5. The young actor was good, but movie became cheesy and silly. blurb sez a cross between lars von trier and quentin tarantino. lolwut. OK I LUV Lars VT, Tarantino not so much, but either way, that was not a very true statement. Started out kinda promising, ended up kinda boring and stupid. But the young actor was good, and he DOES maintain a sense of Morality and Decency and Justice. Letting the people live he promised would let live, standing up for the weak and mistreated, dispensing justice where none is, giving money to people who need it, and then walking away from the criminal life. maybe. Hopefully Brother 2 is better, cause this one was pretty disappointing. If you want a great Foreign Crime Movie, try The “Pusher” Trilogy. All of em are good, esp 1 and 3.  Anyway been a while since I watched a Russian movie.

Welp, Got to practice memorizing Muh cyrillic letters at least. Probably could do it if I studied it every day and had a test and prepped with Flashcards! So C is an S, P is an R, a “pi” is a P, an H is an N, a backwards N is an I, ummm B is a V, that’s all I remember. I think the “X” looking thing is hard K sound, and the thing that looks like a lower case b is a b sound. and the gamma is a G sound or L sound? But I’d say at least 60% of the letters are about the same sounds as they are in English.   Horasho still means good, spicibe still means thank you. Izvinyate means excuse me. Heh. I tried to learn Russian a few years ago and still remember 3 words.

* try to learn a foreign language, it’s a better hobby than neckbearding, neeting, r9k, fapping, eating, crying.

Anyway that was 1997, and Russia had only been out of the communism like 7 years. So perhaps everything western was Cool, the kids like their McDonalds and Blue Jeans. So how now, like 23 years after the fall of communism, is western stuff so cool anymore? plutocrats and globalization and such. also we now have an entire generation of kids in Russia who are getting their MBAs from Russian Harvard and starting their careeeeeers, kids who were born in a Noncommunist Russia. what are they like? ok getting too political hurr. but that is the kind of stuff I am politically interested in. And I might not like globalization or plutocrats, but I aint no Occupy Moron, and am fairly conservative. OK enough.

* heh. if you cared about your CAREER as much as you cared about WOMEN, you’d prob have a better CAREER by now and could thus get the WOMEN you want.

* Read /r9k less, read /fit more!!

4chan founder moot at ROFLCon II
4chan founder moot at ROFLCon II (Photo credit: Wikipedia) moot has a can-do entrepreneurial alpha spirit and has pulled more QT College Tail than you or I can fathom. He probably does not read r9k. also got an A+ in Calculus 4 without whining about it.