BRETTY GOOD WEEK, 4/5!!!

wed dec 18 2013 2pm

writing right in wordpress. first blogging since started new job. gotta leave bretty soon. will get 10 precious minutes of blogging. used to have a real slow chillaxed job where I could go to google drive and blog without getting fired. now drive is blocked. course I am PLANNING on being on edge for at LEAST THREE MONTHS until I know the lay of the land. the ins and outs. just the ADJUSTMENT is stressful. going into muh third day here.

first day I say no less than Twenty-Five Hail Marys before going in. on the drive over, in the car, etc. First day went bretty good. had introductions. i know you hate intros too, but I did a decent one, go and do likewise: I announced straight up that I was Kind Of Shy and that it takes me a Little While to get comfortable with New People, but once you get to know me, you’ll see that I’m really a nice and friendly guy, but if at first I seem a little weird, it is just because I am nervous and shy at a new job, don’t take it personally. I said all that in a non spag pockets way.

Then I gave a polished, WHITEWASHED version of muh history, what job I had before, what I am “going to school” for, ie “computers.” Over and done in 20 seconds and everybody thought I was normal, and maybe just a little shy and nervous, like I had just said. and then they went around the room and forgot about me, hehehe.

Heck there was one or two people in the class of new hires that had a MASTERS DEGREE. Couple people with Bachelors Degrees, lots of people Working on Bachelors Degrees, some useful, some not, heck one lady with a Masters Degree had it in something Useful and Interesting that I usu associate with 60k and up jobs, real solid Middle Middle Class Jobs!!! and here she was at MY job, a Middle Middle Working Class Job at best. Maybe Lower Middle Working Class.

I LUV MY CLASS RANKING SYSTEM, DON’T YOU????

You got Working, Middle, and then Upper? Bourgeois? Elite? Heck you and me will NEVER be in that class, so it is irrelevant. (Actually I think Upper Middle Class would count as “Bourgeois” for my definition: Successful Lawyers, Successful PhD‘s, Medical Dockers, etc.)

But I focus mainly on Working and MIddle Obv. Each of these is divided into Three Thirds: Upper, Middle, and Lower.

Lately I’ve taken to dividing THOSE thirds into thirds just to be Super Ridiculous.

Hence, Lower Middle Working Class, or MIddle Lower Middle CLass, hehehehehehe.

saturday dec 21

well finally had a day off. damn getting my BODY used to this schedule is a big challenge. And it also is a big challenge LEARNING the job because they are making us learn A LOT. A LOT more than I did in muh previous job. orders of magnitude. at least 3 or 4 times more, at least. I thought I was getting paid a LOT, and indeed it is a big increase, but now I think Gee, I should be making at least one more dollar an hour if we’re expected to do all this! It seems very hard and complicated and potentially stressful. I know right away that I do not want to be there more than a year, unless I am getting a decent raise or promotion.

Now it might be difficult to find a chiller job that pays MORE, heck it WILL be difficult to find ANY job that pays more, but here’s the good news:

On the first day I was crapping muh pantz and saying 900000000000000 hail marys. day 2 I was still nervous but not as much. day 3, still nervous, but even better than day 2. by day 5, I felt the best I had all week. Confident and Happy. I still said a few hail marys mind you! but being able to improve on a DAILY BASIS has been very “empowering.” if a huge loser like ME can do it, ANYONE can, so can YOU!

nonetheless I have been using a few tricks to Play It Smart, and I will Share My Secrets Here:

I have been doing a lot of what I’ve said here before. I look for really nice people and just get them talking. Also, remembering people’s names is huge. in a classroom of 30 people we all have name cards and I have memorized 90% of the people’s names in 5 days. I will smile at them and say something like “Hi, Name, How Are You Today?” and 90% of the time, that is enough to get a great response out of them. I will sit there an say mm hmm, mm hmm, yeah, yes, ok, absolutely, sure, mm hmmm, and the other big thing is to stare them right in the eyes, which I have never been good at, but I convinced myself it is the secret to success on a new job, and indeed it has helped tremendously. they won’t suspect you of being a Weirdo if you’re looking them dead in the eyes! even if you are just saying mm hmm over and over again.

best of all, after a few mm hmms you do eventually come up with something to say or a question to ask!

I also brought in a bag of candy on day 3 and began passing it out. say would you like some candy, name, and 99% of the time they will say OH THANK YOU, (your name!) or ask your name if they don’t know it.

we stay bretty busy, so the socializing conversations don’t need to last long.

and you can always talk about THE NEW JOB that is NEW for ALL OF YOU, heck I haven’t mentioned muh personal story at all.

other people will come forward with tons of personal details. I am using a word document to take notes during the training, and I am ALSO TAKING NOTES ON THE PEOPLE: their names, ages, where they’ve worked before, do they have any kids, what’s their education, just anything and everything about them, and about 80% of that is coming from them unprompted, I don’t even have to THINK about it.

I am also getting good info about people just LISTENING TO THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TALK about themselves. take more notes on that. into muh notes it goes.

so def do all that, ESPECIALLY if you have a CLASS of a bunch of new hires, I am thankful I am in that situation, rather than being Just One New Guy. But this is a HUGE office is all I’ll say. I guess being The One New Person wouldn’t be so bad if there were “only” ten people in the office/team/crew. and you could absolutely use these same or similar tactics.

Also wearing muh new non crappy clothes helps too.

It has also made me more productive. like one day I made muh yearly doctor’s appointment, or did errands, and even on muh WELL DESERVED DAY OFF, I got a TON of IMportant Personal Stuff Done: wrote great email to old friend, went SHOPPING for xmas and went to KOHLS to RETURN one thing and buy 2 MORE clothes, a nice sonoma poplin shirt, and a nice pair of sonoma pants, both $20, which I felt was a pretty good deal for the quality of the stuff. KOHLS IS A MAGIC BULLET.

I admit, $20 is a lot for a SHIRT, but when you never buy clothes and really need clothes like moi, it becomes a better ROI!

it was the saturday before xmas and it was bretty packed with people, but I did not stand in the checkout like for more than 10 minutes. I even made polite small talk with the cute 18 yo girl at the register, which is a DIRECT RESULT of me talking to more people at muh new job this week.

It is good to get thrown into a swim or sink situation, BECAUSE that’s actually a misnomer, you will actually probably SWIM. the odds are 90% in your favor that you will swim and not sink, EVEN IF YOU ARE NERVOUS.

and the trainers have anticipated and acknowledged that some of us will be nervous as we start doing the actual job, which does involve a lot of talking to people, unfortunately.

but now i am seeing it is EASIER to talk to people and I am GETTING BETTER AT IT.

I even talked to a CUTE GURL for a minute, hehehe.

So yep. learn everyone’s name, USE everyone’s name, be nice to everyone, say hi how are you, pull their talk string, say mm hmm mm hmm and keep them talking, use Solid Eye Contact, when somebody teaches you something, say “THANKS NAME! I Appreciate It Buddy!” and just be a Real Nice Guy.

AAAANNNNNNDDDDDD I actually Emailed one of my Internet Heroes like I was thinking of doing. I actually feel a little nervous about this because I wrote kinda a long email and not the best email, however hopefully he’ll take it the right way. I was offering to donate money to him as a little gift for him doing so much good work over the years, so I wanted to give him a little Tip for the holidays, something to buy lunch or a drink. I will report back on how this turns out. I also said that in the future I might like to talk to him on the phone, because that WOULD be a great idea, I just don’t want to do it right now. So I said to him, how about in 3 months or so.  Still waiting for a response, told him to take his time, take a month, take 2 months to get back to me, no rush.

so do stuff like all this. think of ways you can be nice to people.