WOMEN HAVE NO MORAL COMPASS AND ARE WIRED TO HATE OMEGA MEN

wed aug 9

so people used to drink like 1% alcohol beer because it was cleaner than water, the alcohol killed all the germs and viruses and bacteria and shit in the water, so it was actually safer to drink beer than water. and you stayed hydrated by drinking weak beer instead of water.

could you dump dirty water into beer and then the smallest amount of alcohol would kill all germs? i dont think it worked that way. like, you couldnt ADD shit. you could MAKE really watery beer and then THAT water would be ok.

whenever i read shit on /relships, im like, why are you even asking? just dump them. just dump them.

then i realize its because they actually CARE, they dont WANT to dump them, they want to save this relship, they are WILLING to MAKE AN EFFORT, they dont WANT to LOSE this person.

and it is painful when a person just wants to be DONE with you. they want to be done with you SO MUCH that they are ok with never talking to you or seeing you ever again. you might as well have DIED.

at least send your mom, or your BFF, or your new BF, or a Social Work Student, to be a messenger of the bad news and to say SORRY, I KNOW THIS SUCKS FOR YOU. or you can just send an email or text yourself which says that. sorry, i know this sucks for you, i dont mean to cause you this pain, but i cant do this anymore, i have to back out, sorry, the end.

how hard is it to send a TEXT saying THAT? it takes LESS THAN ONE MINUTE. to throw away a person without even taking LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to say something to them is just ridiculous hahaha. i would NEVER do it to anyone.

now i am on the outs with people but its completely different situation. like for an incorrigible addict who has been given countless chances by everyone in their life. that’s not what was happening with me and that woman. i felt i wasnt even being given ONE chance to Air The Grievances. Festivus hahahaahahaha.

i AGREE that at some point you can talk about it TOO MUCH and talking about it any more wont do you any good, you just need to END it.

i’m not sure when that point is. probably when one person is sick of TALKING about it and the other person is obviously not listening AT ALL. I think this is probably more than three times. use the old three strikes rule of thumb.

so yeah i dont feel i got three strikes. never even TALKED about it ONCE. SO THERE.

eyebrows. never understood the manicuring of eyebrows on women. i have about average eyebrows and i would be perfectly happy with a woman who had the exact same eyebrows as me. well i have one eyebrow hair that grows extremely long. not sure how that happened but i just trim that one single hair like every 3 months and that is good enough. basically i prefer a natural look to an artificial look, and everything women do to make themselves up looks so artificial to me! women of a certain age are NATURALLY beautiful! why do they want to fook it up by making it look ARTIFICIAL?

for a similar reason I don’t like makeup, lipstick, eye shadow, eyelash mascara, any of that shit. no thank you. YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER.

maybe the TINIEST bit of makeup to show that she is making an effort for you, her man, not to seduce a room full of rich men. of course she doesnt need to make an effort in the looks department, but showing the WILLINGNESS to DO SOMETHING for you shows loyalty and luv and good faith. the more you know. rather than someone who ignores you, avoids you, and takes you for granted. doesnt really luv you. wants to be done with you but is too craven to tell you in ANY way.

hire a damn Process Server hahahahahaha.  YOU GOT SERVED.

no i didnt hahahahaha. i would have preferred getting SERVED.

aaaaannnnnd bitcoin continues to go up. OH WELL. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE TO SELL.

I resent women because (and this is certainly not the ONLY reason) is because I would be SUCH a GOOD woman. I could be a better woman than most women. Men know what Men want. Men know how to be a better woman. Women have no idea what women want, or how to be a better man, so their opinions are stupid and worthless. men’s opinions are wise, meaningful, correct, and important. Men speak the truth, women speak bullshit.

but this is the way its ALWAYS been! dont hate a cat for being a cat! dont hate a dog for being a dog!

yeah but dogs and cats arent supposed to mate together!

but im just saying its always been CONCEALED and COVERT with women, they NEVER knew what REALLY goes on inside their body or minds, so why expect them to be “honest” about it? they can’t possibly BE honest!

i guess I just value HONESTY that much. and men DO.

i guess i’m just mad that men value honesty so much and women are naturally dishonest, incapable of honesty. if i didnt care about honesty so much, i wouldnt care about women being deceptive.

heh. well, what do women hate about men? they hate weak, needy, clingy men. and there are plenty of weak, clingy, needy men out there. i’ve been one myself.

i dunno. i just feel being weak, clingy, and needy is not as morally wrong as being DISHONEST. a cheater, scammer, liar, abandoner.

because im using mens morality not womens morality hahahahaha. for a MAN, YES it is pretty bad to be weak. or dishonest. for a WOMAN, for a MAN to be weak is the worst thing ever, and for a woman to be dishonest doesnt really matter. women get to get away with being CHILDREN.

i guess i also resent that too: men have to be RESPONSIBLE, women DONT. COME ON.

if i have to be responsible, i want muh women to be responsible too.

i struggle bigly with being responsible, but i know being responsible is the right thing to do.

whitesville west virgina, think i will move there hahahahahaha.

there were yellow flags and red flags with that woman, for example some silly stuff she believed…..but EVERY woman believes some silly stuff and has some yellow flags in that way. just be grateful she hasnt been with 60000 guys red flag. besides you can probably mold her towards less silly beliefs and make her a white warrioress bearing you many little white warriors. what could be better. and then when that woman leaves you like a ghost, you are devastated for at LEAST 2 years. it all makes sense.

hey. i KNOW i was important to her for a WHILE. like she genuinely liked me as a person, liked seeing me, liked spending time with me, i could TELL she wasnt FAKING it. so i guess i just wanted her to SHOW ANY of that at the end. like i’m sorry, i know this HURTS, sorry, i dont mean to throw you away like a piece of garbage because thats NOW how I think of you. you really DID mean something important to me, i just couldnt Do Those Feelings.

that’s all i was looking for hahaha. dont be SO goddamn destructive. try to apply a little soothing balm as you rain down fire and napalm and nukes. make any effort to at least do that.

dont let a woman name your children, they end up picking a STUPIDASS name like brooklyn or something. no. brooklyn is the name of a city, not a person. be a man and name your child something traditional and good like michael or mary or anne or elizabeth or john or james or richard or donald or adolf hahahahahaha. it’s not complicated. it’s not difficult.

how can you give birth to children but not know how to name them hahahaha. how can you give birth to children but also murder them and be horrible at raising them? why can’t men just get pregnant. they would probably do it better than women. we dont need women at all. women are a net loss hahahaha. just use women as brood mares, locked away from productive male society.  they grow children, give birth, and absolultely nothing else.

so what do you do with girls. you cant ABORT them because ABORTION IS MURDER.

yeah but women just arent WORTH as much as men hahahaha. they are LITERALLY inferior. their lives don’t MATTER as much hahahahahahaha.

no i am jk of course. but you see the slippery slope.

but really i mean come on. these women. they gotta start adding value. not just coasting on this being the bearers of children bullshit hahahahaha. actually be a worthwhile PERSON hahahaha.

JEALOUSY IS NATURAL AND NORMAL. Women will never understand this. they think jealousy is always bad and means they should dump you and that youre abusive and a horrible person and you should work to get rid of all jealous.

NO. JEALOUSY is a GOOD thing, because it WARNS you of BAD things: that the mother of your children is CHEATING on you.

Now, some people might be Overly Paranoid, and that’s not good, but if your GF is spending lots of time with her Male Friends, then YES you SHOULD get jealous! instead the women bitch about their jealous bf and then end up dumping him and getting with their male friends. because their ex bf had no good reason to be jealous then hahahahahaha.

i want terribly to sm0ke mj, but i dont want to be around st0ners, hang out with these degen idiots. i just want a big bag of mj all to myself, so that i can get blazed alone, in peace. no people around. that woman would have been the exception. i liked being around her, she didnt like being around me at the end. i was desperate to hang out with her and sm0ke mj with her, had a FANTASY of hanging out with her, smoking mj, cuddling, making out, her being nice and sweet to me, etc.

but i am also happy just sm0king weed by myself, other people make me nervous. just be by myself and listen to music or maybe exercise or something.

meh i dont care if emily youcis is a huge race traitor wh0re, she has done enough and put herself far enough out there that it pretty much cancels any past degeneracy. she has made real sacrifices and done real penance. she wouldnt do what she’s doing now if she wanted to go back to fooking blacks. she has woken up and changed. god for her.

i have no proof that she was fooking LOTS of blacks, but i assume that as an artsy, punk, drinking, MJ smoking, urban young gurl, singing in a punk band dressed like a hooker, foul mouth, yeah i mean i’m not NAIVE hahahahahaha.  she CLEARLY has a PAST.

but thru Becoming Who You Are, you can be Redeemed from any sin! its really kinda like accepting Christ as your personal saviour! but probably even better! with a lower Recidivism rate is what I’m saying. meaning lots of sluts will turn to Jeebus but still be gold digging, treacherous sluts at heart. maybe eventually destroy their beta cuck husband. but when a woman goes 1488 like this…..it would be really hard for her to turn back after that. i mean i guess sinead could, but she has no credibility anyway. a newcomer like emily youcis has more credibility that sinead, who has done nothing but attack good people. its very disappointing. she could have done a lot of good.

richard spencer is trying to hire one person for 12.5k a year hahahahaha. that’s about as much as Im making right now. and he wants this guy andrew joyce who probably is a good writer and has a graduate degree hahahahaha.

my point is, i simply couldnt just waltz in and get a 20k Alt Right Job, because there ARE no Alt Right Jobs! The one alt right job there is pays 12k a year and wants qualifications i dont have!

again, you would LITERALLY be a LOT better off taking calls in a tech support call center.  good god.

anyway i think it would be better if someone like emily said yeah i fooked negroes in the past, i am disgusted with this and would never do it again, rather than sinead avoiding talking about it, when she gets accused of being a mudshark all the time, and she probably was, but just wont address the issue. just say you did it, say you’re ashamed, say you understand your mistake, learned from it, and became a better person! we will forgive you! were not monsters!

not that theres been any mudslinging on emily. the alt right has been very gentlemanly to her and she hasnt done any sketchy shit either.

well she was just on the david duke show today, which is a good show, i just dont listen to it super often hahahaha. but he just had richard spencer on a few days ago, and he has andrew anglin on regularly. i have been down with david duke for YEARS. i dont like the plastic surgeries and the rumors of degeneracy, but the stuff he says is so solid, and I was glad he ran for senate, and is talking to the right people. keeps in touch with the young kids in the alt right. WN 2.0 hahahahaha.

i have listened to at least 20 episodes of his radio show hahaha and listened to at least 60% of the audiobook of “my awakening”, can heartily recommend. great book. great info on the JQ which I got in 2012 or 2013. Duke has been around for DECADES, before there WAS an alt right, and the best thing out there was mgtow. yikes. dark days. then you found stormfront and said, hmmm i think these guys are onto something, but theres gotta be a better way of doing this. this guy david duke is pretty solid, why arent there more people developing this line of thought? and now there ARE.

heh. i am an oldfag, back when i was getting into shit, MGTOW and MRA was the EDGIEST shit the internet had to offer. besides stormfront hahahaha. and i read a little bit of stormfront too.

but yeah boy am i glad the alt right happened, MGTOW was a damn dead end.

dec 29

so yeah. while I USED to identify as a MGTOW, i did have serious problems with it as I accepted my pretty natural desire to have a Wife and Children, to have a traditional monogamous white relship. pretty quickly i realized how jooish and unnatural it was for men and women to be at war with each other, to be enemies. this wasnt all womens fault. there was a more insidious force at work.

the family life was shitloads better than the mgtow single life. i couldnt believe how so many mgtows could not figure this out and were still either talking about how to bang sluts, or how to build robot women.

tarek and christina split. i bet it was her that is At Fault. To Blame. I never liked her hahahaha. i liked him a lot better even though he is half arab. plus he doesnt look or act semitic at all.  and their chidren were adorable. i bet she dumped him and he begged her to stay and make an effort to work it out baybeeeeee and now she is fooking new guys, probably WAYYYYY more nonwhite looking and acting than tarek.

right after he had that Cancer Scare! What a Horrible Bitch! but he seems too nice and she probably needs a man who can absolutely DOMINATE, if not abuse her. she would be more down for a more dominant arab man. tarek RESPECTS women too much. many women dont want to be RESPECTED hehehehe. then they go on reddit and tell women everything is abuse, loveisrespect.org. nope. you respect a woman, she will leave you for pedestalizing her. OR do something so horrible and disgusting to teach you a lesson about Pedestalizing. Take me off the pedestal! I’m gonna fook 10000000 negros right now!

going to buy new glasses. it is the biggest jooish ripoff since going to the dentist. going to the doctor hahahaha. go into these glasses places and they are full of Shark Women doing sleazy salesmen shit. absolutely disgusting. women shouldn’t be doing this. shit men shouldnt be doing this. no business should be run like an obvious jooish scam. capitalism doesn’t have to be so jooish and disgusting ahahahaha. purge the bergs and steins hahahaha.

americas best is the WORST. if it says 2 pairs of glasses for 70 bucks……..sheeeeeit. don’t tell me that 2 pairs of glasses for me is going to be 210 bucks. that is THREE TIMES MOAR. if someone comes in asking about the 2 for 70, do you really think they have a huge budget to buy the top shelf glasses and lenses? and us rubes don’t know that frames and lenses are two different things. 2 frames for 70 is bullshit when its like 140 for two sets of LENSES.

i would ask them, what are you looking to spend, 100 dollars, ok, well for that you can get this, for a teensy bit more you can get this, then you prob wont want to go much hgiher than that!

no frills, no add ons, no extras, no upselling, just bottom shelf, bargain basement, basic bitch everything.

2 pairs of glasses, out the door, with lenses, for 70 bucks. that is what i want. i don’t care about polycarbonate, or scratch protection (well, sorta i do), or antiglare coating, or transition lenses hehehehe. maybe if i had vision insurance, which only the top 1% do hahahahaha. or people like muh baby boomer family hehehe.

i thought getting a glasses shop job would be pretty chill, but after going to a few of these places, i can see that it would not be. on dec 29 the places were packed with people. maybe thats just normal for the holidays.

bitcoin falling finally.

GENTLY signalled interest in the MJ with the one person i can conceivably talk to about this. i thought he might have not registered the idea that next time he wants to go in, i’d like him to tell me so i can go in with him. he is generally good at reading signals but i still wasnt sure, besides, i am terrible at communicating stuff like this. and he is abstaining for the medium term for very legit reasons. but yeah yesterday i made it clear that when you decide to stop abstaining, please let me know ASAP. he clearly understood what I was saying. so that is good. Now I know not to be PUSHY.

in other words, ive done all i could there.

but yeah i was like damn how could i ever do what these women do. lie to people to sell them glasses. they deliberately make shit confusing and complicated to Upsell and Add On Shit, and have horribly misleading advertising. i hate this jooish shit and i hate that white women are stuck working in these jobs. i’d be like listen, you want the lowest price, i get it, well then you have to get this. i SHOULD HAVE studied the website for americas best before walking in there, just so i could tell them the things i DIDNT want.

well i ended up finding a pair for 70 dollars, including both frames AND lenses. that seemed reasonable to me. so just said ok ill take it. wanted to get out of there anyway. fookin glasses. the place was huge, had a ton of employees, and a ton of customers, and i thought, really, glasses? such big business? doesnt everybody have lasik or contacts?

i dont like honestly not terribly smart white women acting like jooish snake oil salesman. youre obviously tyring to confuse me with glasses jargon. dont do that. i should have taken 5 minutes to study glasses jargon before i left. but i shouldnt HAVE to in a nice huhwhyte country is what im saying. i guess i didnt realize the glasses industry was so thoroghly jood. i shouldnt be surprised though. health care, hospitals, doctors, dentists, medical, insurance, its all fooked and jooed. which is sad.

and when MJ is legal that will be jood too hahahaha.

tensions with israel at the moment. UN snubbing israel and obama/kerry saying yeah we snub israel too. trvmp saying just you wait bibi, just 3 more weeks and then me, your best buddy, me, will be in office, and you wont get this terrible treatment from the US. this was always gonna be the black pill about trvmp, was his super friendliness to israel, i guess we were just gonna not think about it until it was time to think about it. which is now nigh.

i mean i guess i support a state for joos as long as they get the damn joos out of the US. out of our media and culture and govt and business and education and everything. absolutely never gonna happen.

square pegs. mid 80s teen sitcom with teenage sarah jessica parker. she was a QT when she was young, fook this horse face nonsense! but it just never suits a woman to be a 40+ year old slut, so she brought that shame on herself!

i think she is jooish. doesnt stop 20 year old jooish gurls from being qt.

yeah i believe in REDEMPTION. and if i believe in redemption for myself, which i would LIKE to, then i have to believe in redemption for other people. namely, women, sluts, degenerates. if i can do it, they can do it. if they can do it, i can do it. and i like reading stories of actual redemption.

i dont think sinead is stupid. in fact i think she is attractive and its tech good she has a baby. she sometimes comes VERY CLOSE to making good points, and then totally crashes and burns, or attacks somebody great like millennial woes. so she is very frustrating and disappointing, because she has great potential. and of course she could be redeemed too. but my god she HATES the alt right. she views it as a totally gay compromised thing. calls it the alt k1k3.  i guess i should be happy that in 2016 there are qt white women who are ok on the JQ and not afraid to use the K word hahahaha. didnt have this even 4 years ago.

but yeah if kyle is her lover she should identify as his wife, and be like, im taken by my one man kyle, and he is the father of my baby. i luv him and will be loyal to him. and not have any ambivalence there.

so in short i dont trust her at all. i trust emily Y more than her.

wow what an insensitive cvnt. and she wants sympathy from reddit. i hope they crucify her hahaha. if she worked halg the day that her husbando worked, she’d be EXHAUSTED too. but now she wants to dump him because his job is exhausting him and she is annoyed by him being exhausted all the time. what a fooking bitch. he needs a woman who can have s ome damn sympathy for him.

basically with /relships, i upvote men and downvote women. and men who talk like women. women have nothing smart or good to say about relships. they have no idea how to have relships with men.

i think if i went into americas best and said listen. i see your sign for 2 for 69.95. that’s basically the type of value i want. I want the SHITTIES lenses AND the shittiest, cheapest frames, for less than 100 bucks TOTAL, out the DOOR. frames AND lenses, under 100 TOTAL. no deals, no add ons, no extras, no 2 pairs. no scratch protection, no anything protection, i am looking for the equivalent of no-fault shitty auto insurance. i would like to buy nicer glasses but i cant afford them.

reddit is gonna say there is nothing wrong with the sister being in JOOISH PORN and the man needs to GROW UP and GET OVER IT.

now i dont think you should be quick to pull the DEFOO trigger, and always be open to forgive and allow your family the chance to repent and redeem themselves…..but the sister is not moving in that direction at ALL, in fact, she is doubling down on the PORN. so the brother is RIGHT to be DEVASTATED and depressed about this. shit what if his WIFE decided this was an ok thing to do?

i was watching andy griffith and gomer pyle USMC and i was like, these quaint shows of a better time. that gomer pyle is a likable idiot. seeing that this stuff is STILL made by joos when you watch the crrrrrredits.

or this show “Square pegs”, which i had never heard of, but seemed pretty entertaining and well-written and funny. yep moar joos. which is not surprsing as this was the 80s. but joos in the 80s and esp the 60s didnt seem so god damn JOOISH as they do now. well except for that sneaky sneaky joo norman lear. i mean i used to watch all in the family regularly, and like the character archie bunker. i still kinda do!!!!

but yeah being JQ aware really helps you with shit like that. and reading between the lines to see this is more than just a good show. its more of a subversive and offensive show than you realize. you’re not SUPPOSED to……well i cant even say that youre not supposed to like archie. he’s the main damn character. i think you ARE supposed to like him, and realize YOU are just as horrible of a racist goy as he is, and then learn Lessons Of Tolerance just as Archie does. but archie truly says some hilarious shit. him and his wife edith are both great. and shitlib son in law meathead. total shitlib sjw leftist commie.

i WISH the show were written by alt right SHITLORDS rather than SJW Joos! honestly the alt right could bring the show back in this way, that’s a great idea. would be even kooler than a blatantly alt right king of the hill.

on the fatherland, muh boy no1 suggests that million dollar extreme/sam hyde is basically Entertainment/Comedy for Goys By Goys, comedy stripped of any horrible jooish influence. i mean i hope it is! we need our own CULTURE, stuff like music, movies, tv, stories. not just implicitly cool stuff like christopher nolan or something, but something that comes right out and says, this is who we are. we are not J’s. this work is 100% free from jooish influence. i would love that. cuz you can’t GET that in mainstream ANYTHING.

this is another benefit of black metal hahaha. it is very free of jooish influence. maybe thats why i like it so much hahahaha. was such a big boortzum fan for so long hahaha. really liking this saor/fuath hahahaha.

well because its impossible to make a tv show or movie without a bunch of Js getting involved. I like more solitary pursuits, more of a Auteur approach hahahaha. one man’s singular, unadulterated, unjood vision. much more practical to accomplish with music or books. and i dont like books hahahaha. well auteur movies are a good attempt too.

and certainly self made youtube vids. or 1488 podcasts hahaha.

havent really watched lots of MDE. dont know anythign about the other guys in MDE other than sam hyde. i guess there is an mde book now. i mean i respect and trust no1 so his recommendation is as good as any.

george feels responded to me and said thank you. so that was nice. have no idea if he is gonna fix the thing that i said he might want to fix hehehehe. well i did my part. i might give him another dnation next xmas hahahahaha.

when i get to the position he’s in….wait a minute i am actually OLDER than him hahahaha. AND he has a better job than me.  so when HE gets to the point I am in now, THEN he should start going to hookers and smokin MJ which is freely available in his damn town. just walk into the store just as easily as buying a bottle of booze. and he Gets To Do That too. I’m not even allowed to drink booze any more hahahahaha.

this is kinda sad. of course i would say take the “dream job.”

He has very low self-esteem and has mentioned several times that he may be depressed. Until recently, he would rant to me over text (hundreds of texts) about his insecurities, that he feels like trash, and that there’s a lot of expectations and societal pressures on him because he’s a man. Multiple times he’s told me he wanted to end his life. When I tried comforting him and dissuading him from it, it backfired and he lashed out against me, saying that there is no way I can empathize with people like him in the slightest. In subsequent meltdowns, I held back on comforting him out of not knowing what to say, and he said I lacked a moral compass and that women like me are biologically wired to hate men like him.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. well i know how this guy feelz, but the fact that she HASNT left him yet, CARES enough to ask reddit. but yeah. ive felt that exact feel. women HATE loser men more than men hate sluts. and they will throw you away like garbage. thing is, she hasn’t thrown HIM away like garbage, and i think if she DID dump him, she would make an effort to do it in a decent way.

yep you will be a virgin for the next 10 years, just be thankful you can even GET a job. also try not to get arrested for drugs or alcohol hahahaha

oh thats fine, nothing wrong with fooking 12 guys by the age of 18 hahahahaha.  sex is a conditional, relative, gray area thing. sometimes its serious, and sometimes its just casual fun!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!

BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SLUT PAST. tell your bf yes im ashamed of what i did and who i was, and that shame is gonna keep me from doing that shit again. yes it is digusting i agree. instead when you tell him im not ashamed at all, whats wrong with that? uhhh yeah youre saying i have no shame about being a shameful slut hahahahaha.

because who knows when they are gonna get bored with sex with YOU and go easily find it with any of their 6000000000000000 male friends.

they SHOULD be ashamed of their slut past. that is the BEST way to make your new bf OK with your slut past. NOT say, no, i’m not ashamed of that gross degen disgusting shit I did!

you SHOULD be ashamed of disgusting things you did! not continue to unrepentantly insist these things ARENT disgusting! damn!

what ELSE is she not ashamed by but SHOULD be? cheating?

best to be with somebody who shares your sexual MORALITY – that sex is not some Fun Game to be played with any Sexy Boi. of course its hard finding a woman with that sexual morality! and if you do, they will not like you back and will reject you VERY HARSHLY hahahaha.

sheeeeeit you know what, she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on her original boifran. she wanted to fix things with him, but she was EMOTIONALLY CHEATING on him anyway. by becoming friends with ME. yeah i didnt realize this at the time, and not until recently, and its safe to say she NEVER realized it! because she was emotionally retarded!!!

 

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WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?

dec 3

https://www.youtube dot com/watch?v=C2hOJR0hIBY

this “woman” looks like a man, and should not be wearing something so unflattering, and looks part nonwhite, BUT she is appearing on redice, who are Legit Vetted Good Goys and worthy of support, talking about the evils and degeneracy of Jooish Pornography, so thats pretty cool. i just saw this, have not listened yet.

but with a great name like “PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY” I got a DOUBLE BONER and downloaded it IMMEDIATELY for listening very soon on a powerwalk! they just should not have put “her” wearing that in the thumbnail. jeez she is so ugly in that picture it undermines all of our credibility hahahahaha. still anything about PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY HAS to be a good talk, good lesson, good message.

 

really you should listen to the three hour mix three times a day hahahahahahaha

when we were young, once in a great while we would find a song that was so mind blowingly awesome that we made a “mix cd” of that one song on repeat for 74 minutes.  this one would definitely qualify! although I was not aware of it at that time unfort. Oh I knew about the movie but had no interest in it and had no knowledge of the music.

here is one of those songs hehehe. for some reason we gravitated to ridiculous 80s style “cock rock.”

i am shilling for red ice today. now i dont like how this guest woman dresses like a HOOKER with the eye makeup and earrings and showing the tits, but uh i will try to listen to this one as well. but yeah even though henrik and lana are All Right, sometimes they do have weirdass guests who are jooish or antiwhite hahahaha so just because somebody is ON red ice doesnt mean they are automatically good.

but yeah what red ice is doing, creating their own alt right, pro white media platform/network, is exactly what whites need to do. create a white, joo-free media. our own news, our own tv and radio, and of course podcasts are a great part of this, and its already happening, THANK GOD.

yeah i know red ice did weird alex jones conspiracy shit years ago, but i forgive them hahahaha.

henrik and lana just need to have 3+ children and hire some white men to do red ice.

i would become a sustaining member of red ice but their prices are too damn high hahahahaha.

65 euros a YEAR?  that is like 66 dollars a year. i would maybe do 20.

i mean they DESERVE it, i just cant/dont want to dnate that much!

i mean its more for ME than THEM, so i can FEEL GOOD about myself, and really i need all of THAT i can get!

there is this catholic church sorta near me that is geared towards polish people, and i hear that polish catholics are some of the most hardcore Based Catholics hahahaha. they are proud of their polish blood and dont have open arms for a bunch of screaming asians and mestizos and browns and arabs which you see in many cath churches. plus i have some polish blood and love poles. love them. would love a nice polish gurl for a qt 3.1488 waifu. poland is definitely a top tier european country.

problem is this place doesnt just have one polish mass a week, they have nothing BUT polish mass and EVERYTHING is in polish, church website, church bulletin/newsletter.

actually this is not a problem at all, this is a fookin BENEFIT. cuz it means they are traditional and old school as fook.

so i could just go there and be like

¯\_ツ_/¯   ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯       ¯\_ツ_/¯      ¯\_ツ_/¯

and say dzien dobry, jak sie maz (????), sto lat, dzienkuje, boze dobry, boze dobrze rzarzarzarza, ja nie movi polakiu, and then they would say oh look hes trying, how nice, then they could hook me up with their 19 year old virgin daughter who could teach me polakiu hahahaha and i could put babies in her for 14k a year hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit those women are TOO GOOD for me!

乁(⏓ ͜つ⏓)ㄏ

2016-12-03-20_36_03-cardamom-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13464295

this fookin guy makes a huge raise when he flops a pair of 8s. glad i agressively went all in instead of thinking he had AA and folding! or 88 or 66 or 22 hehehe.

no thats not 7 dollars and 45 cents, thats .00745 btc, which is…. 5 dollars and 71 cents. YIKES. well the price of BTC has gone up pretty steadily since i started playing this shit like 2 years ago.

so yeah if i had any BALLS like a REAL MAN i would have gone to this polish church 11 fookin years ago!!!!!!!

fooking reddit relships and their different secs BEST FRIENDS. you shouldnt have a BEST FRIEND who is the opposite sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and IM the weirdo and sexist and hateful racist violent trump supporter for thinking this!!!!!!!

or IM weird because i think open relationships are shitty and bad. im being too judgmental and intolerant of peoples valid choice.

well to be fair, reddit says that MOST people

dec 4

 

i am gradually warming up to emily youcis. normally i am very very very very suspicious of women in the movement, but she doesnt seem TOO bad. plus i immediately get more sympathy for the women once they LOSE something like their job or their freedumz. and so she was recently fired by k1ke company aramark (i applied for office clerk job there, no response hahaha) after working for 7 years selling pistachios at the baseball stadium. fired for “social media” reasons.

yeah i mean maybe this was part of her plan and she’s prob not gonna go homeless or sucking dick for a place to stay (not that most women dont already do that anyway hahahahahahahahahaha)

anyway. so i am always judging women for being hookers and sluts and wh0res and promiscuous and degenerate, but in the end, do those things really impact me directly? why do i hate sluts so much? that woman wasn’t a slut! she hurt me through ways that did not involve sluttiness AT ALL!

yeah well in the PAST ive def been hurt by women who were into the slutty casual sex mindframe. also i just find it very distasteful and immoral and degen and a sign of the cultural and spiritual degen which we must fix in our people. and yes it represents something i WANT but cant seem to get, which is given away so freely to Everyone Else but I am fundamentally broken and unable to obtain.

and also i am judgmental against the things that that woman DID do, like avoiding shit like a coward, i dont like that either hahaha.

ok well here’s a good point: at least i never really became a beta orbiter friendzone!!! or if i did, it ended pretty damn quickly!

it kind of proves that i basically will not LET MYSELF become a pathetic supplicating beta orbiter. i eventually have to rip the bandaid off and be like, here’s the obvious truth which i can’t believe you’re not seeing. I CANT GO ON THIS WAY hahahaha.

going to church on sunday today instead of saturday. going to church that is probably better than the one i usu go to. less cucky and marxist and antitrvmp and leftwing. less cucking for DIVERSITY and UNITY and VIBRANCY and all that shit. shit no wonder that church is full of weird asians and this other church seems to have more whites. shit why dont i just go to this other church regularly. or go to that damn polish church. IT DOESNT MATTER that i dont speak polish. i could learn and besides them speaking polish is a YUGGGGGGGGGGGE value add!!!!!!! its a GREAT thing!

yep starting new 13k job tomorrow. kind of a big deal. nervous. dont want to screw it up. dont want to look like a WEIRD IDIOT. just want to do a good job. not just a good job, but a GREAT job and really impress everyone.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit i should have been getting BOOKS related to my NEW FIELD the instant i knew i was hired, and devouring those books to get a good frame of reference, big picture view, maybe some small picture view too, reading the books The Director reads for his PhD, which is of course related to his masters degree and what he does now, The Department, what books are most relevant to this job and this department, thought leaders, bla bla. i quickly bought a book right now so that i could say i at least placed my order for the book before i started the job hahahaha but why i didnt do this 2 weeks ago so i could have had the books and started reading them by now…….hmm maybe i am not serious about making 13k a year with no benefits, maybe WALMART would be a better fit with my career skills.

dumped because he couldnt read the gurls stupid mind. i GUESS shes ENTITLED to dump him for whatever stupid reason she wants, but when the reason is THAT stupid, just candy coat it and dont GIVE an exact reason. i mean thats just a BAD REASON. just say I’m not compatible with you. it’s not you its me. that would be better than saying some stupid ass shit like that.

hehe i made the mistake of initially assuming the “best friend” OP of the gurl was another gurl. hehehe. sounds like he is deeply in luv with her and is in complete denial. but not looking at that, she still should not be Ghosting her friends.

i mean this guy is cringey and beta orbiter AF, and theres a very important lesson to learn there, but she still shouldnt be Ghosting him like a coward, throwing away 3 years of friendship, and getting her new bf to laugh at him and call him pathetic (which he is.)

dont be like this pvssy phaggot. but at least he is getting a CS degree so he might be making 30k a year by age 22. that is a pretty good move.  i mean its still risky because i worked with CS grads doing the exact same phone bullshit as me.

bonus points for OP having mad anxiety and panic attacks that feel like heart attacks and he is so confused hhahaha.

better when you are 21 than 31!

then reddit shreds this kid for being a sexist, creepy niceguy, which he kind of IS, but this ISNT the way to deal with that. you have to show some sympathy for these poor sad bastards. theyre not the bad horrible people you think they are !!!!!!!!

he doesnt need to “RESPECT” her wishes because they’re not respectable. just use the word ACCEPT. ACCEPT her stupid, unrespectable wishes, and let her get fooked by chad. the end.

grieve and have legitimate suffering because your friend of 3 years didnt give a DAMN about you as a human being. i feel your pain man. that sucks. this is the sympathy he’s not getting ANY of and he should.

anyway. i wish you COULD be Just Friends with a woman before Dating and Fooking and Relshiping them, because unless I am Friends with a Woman, i really just dont LIKE them. the way they approach Relships is degenerate and infuriating. I just dont like it. rustles the shit out of me.

I wish you COULD get to know a woman as a friend, be like this is a really good person and i like them, maybe I can try a deeper rel with them, i think they would make a decent GF or wife. i wonder if she will be willing to try that.

NOPE. NEVER WILL. thats what the friendzone is hahahaha. if you dont fook her like a n1993r within 2 days of meeting her, you dont have a chance with making her your GF or wife.

i just hate how the J’s are dumbing us down and jooing us down and morally corrupting us all down into n1993rs.

If you don’t like the word n1993rs, just call em animals. they are turning us all into filthy, dumb, dirty, disgusting ANIMALS.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

anyway yeah this reddit niceguy hate is just way out of line. niceguys arent THAT bad. have some damn SYMPATHY for them. save some of that judgment for the women, who in many cases are being huge bitches to the niceguys.

but yeah this guy needs to stay away from this gurl, and there needs to be more blame directed at HER.

when you are begging and bribing somebody to hang out with you. it IS pathetic tho! but its SAD. he doesnt even REALIZE hes in LUV with her. at least I REALIZED that. and i STOPPED contacting her eventually. let her run off and fook animals.

and yeah it would help that guy to go to a shrink, but good lord dont tell him you are SUPER FOOKED UP and must see a shrink NOW if you have any chance of not being a horrible person. they hate these nice guys almost as much as they hate TRVMP or WHITE PEOPLE.

i was thinking in an ideal world, i would just get a dr to prescribe me Medical MJ for Despair and Anxiety, just like getting an RX for Citalopram and Valium. Which I have already gotten RX’s for.

so in an ideal world, despair and anxiety would be legal medical Qualified Conditions for MMJ.  but they arent.

anyway i was thinking, go to semi shady MMJ doctor and be like listen, so i dont have cancer or back pain like most of the people, but i dont want to bullshit you and say i have CARPAL TUNNEL pain when i really dont, but here’s something I REALLY DO HAVE, and have taken RX’s for YEARS to PROVE it, i know they arent TECHNICALLY conditions, but…..hey i’ll buy ya dinner right now, you’re pretty hungry from writing recommendations all day arent ya goy? bubby?

the thing is, i could say that my TREATMENT for OTHER CONDITIONS causes SPASMS, and then i could get MMJ for that. yeah but it doesnt. but i think citalopram causes spasms for some people hahahahaha.

basically the TREATMENT for something Unqualifying, gives me a Backdoor into Qualifying.

but not really, because this treatment doesnt cause spasms or severe pain!

https://www.reddit.com/r/altright/comments/5e7rbu/emily_youcis_animator_of_alfred_alfer_ama/

meh i guess i will approve of emily, she seems to be sincere. hope her animation bcomes less degenerate and she seems to be aware that by joining the alt right and becoming pro white, you kinda HAVE to hold yourself to a higher moral standard and actively purge the degeneracy from your own life.

but she’s only been into this for less than 6 months! i have been into this for like 6 years!!!!!!!

heh i dont really care as long as she is sincere and doesnt stop being pro white. she talks about losing friends and such and purging people. this is good.  purge the dead weight and bad influences from your life. Traditional Morality will alienate you from degenerate animalistic losers. you dont want them to be your friends anyway.

fine i will HUHWHYTE KNIGHT for emily even though shes probably taken MILES AND MILES of dick, prob even nonwhite (no real proof.) but i am willing to forgive, if there is TRUE repentance.

well i dont really like these super big bewbs gurls plus she will probably start to get very potato looking when she gets older. but at age 26 right now she is pretty qt, would hang out with hahahahahahahaha.

i mean better late than never amirite. im no saint myself. you know what they say, all saints have a past and all sinners have a future!

i went to this other church this morning and it was 100000000000000 times better than the one i usually go to. not only was it less boring and faster, there were a lot more whites, some qt young white women as well! i mean i already KNEW this for at LEAST a YEAR!!!!!

like the priest at my regular church, nice guy, good guy, but a pathetic cuck shitlib who is soooo shocked at the hate and racism and intolerance of the whitelash, and desperately wants to overcompensate and Reach Out to Mudslims to show them Not All White Christians are hateful rednecks.

whereas at the other church, no mention of this stuff, just a bunch of happy white people, including many under-40’s.

all the whites at my usual church are well over 40 hehehehe. plenty of nonwhites.

shit. starting NEW JOB tomorrow. have been doing laundry. planning on bringing 1 dozen donuts tom morning. ask people about their families. ask about what are good books for me to read about this field. i am already reading bla bla by bla bla. here’s some donuts. do you guys drink coffee? i can bring in some folgers, i have some extra folgers at home. sorry its not top shelf, but i can bring in a little top shelf closer to xmas. heres some donuts in the meantime. how many kids u got. where are they going to college? tell me about your graduate program. what do you think about the 14 words hahahaha. so how about that election hahahahaha.

can i take a tough phone call right now? what are the toughest problems you get in here from your “customers”? whats the best way to bullshit them and give them the runaround and say it cant be fixed, it is what it is, you dont have to like it hahahahaha jk i know we go above and beyond for our clients wink wink nudge nudge amirite?

besides, everybody knows that when “it is what it is” just wont cut it, you have to bring out it is what it IS what it is what it is. then that fixes everything. that explains everything. that gets angry people to say OH NOW I GET IT, im so sorry for being such a huge bitch. now that i realise that it is what it IS what it is!!!!! see before, i was thinking it IS what it is.

mother fooking phaggot cvntz hahahaha.

i was thinking i dont DESERVE a woman Without A Past, because IIIIII have a past myself!!!!!!!!!!!

ok fine, but i DO insist the woman is TRULY REPENTANT of her degenerate past! says I am ashamed of my past, i never want to have another abortion, or fook another nonwhite, or have any more casual sex!!!!!! its disgusting and here’s why! I REGRET doing all that.

rather than someone that says oh that makes me who i am, i’m not ashamed, i have no regrets.

GOOD PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS.

shit I have tons of regrets, tons of shame, tons of remorse and repentance for all the degenerate animal shit IVE done. so I DO want THAT much from muh formerly degenerate waifu hahahaha.

if you dont have regrets, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU hehehehe.

the bad shit youve done SHOULD be regretted.

muh dbt book says to try not to be judgmental. notice all the times you make a judgment throughout the day, bad OR good, and just let them float away like leaves on a stream.  just observe stuff mindfully and without judgment.

this struck me as kinda weird. i can see trying to stop your bad judgments, but the good ones too?

i mean i make 148800000000000000000000000000000000000000000 negative judgments a day. every damn person i see i judge them. i was sitting in church watching the nice white people coming back from communion and i was judging each and every one of them harshy: fatty. f4ggot. dirty dago. ugly. fat slob. pig. dog. disgusting animal. sissy. nice haircut phaggot. nice manbun phaggot. nice potato shaped body. your kids are brats. your wife is a slut. you have dyed hair, you must be a slut. how many cox you take. how many black guys. how many abortions. wow, fat AND a smoker, youre in great health, you no self discipline weakling.

i mean its truly ridiculous how many negative judgments i make about people, many many many times a day. so YEAH i AGREE, trying to be conscious of that and not doing that would be a GREAT step for me.

really i am nowhere NEAR as HATEFUL and judgmental when i am with actual real people. i always think the best of them.

but from a distance, when i am alone just thinking of people in the abstract, or people watching people from a distance, god damn, its a hugeass hatefest!!!!!!

no not violent hate, but still very bitter butthurt negative pessimistic cynical recrimination!

and WHAT DOES IT GET ME?

HOW DO I BENEFIT?

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?????

NOTHING!

at a more moderate level, it would have been a natural response to people who have hurt me in the past with slutty or immature or fat or ugly or irresponsible behavior.

but the healthy way for me to do that is to say, ok, here are some red flags to watch out for, but im not gonna look for those red flags in EVERYBODY, and im sure not gonna get MAD about it if they havent done anything to ME.

but yeah. its like my automatic reaction to seeing a person, is to have a NEGATIVE JUDGMENT about them. this is not good!

fat, ugly, slut, phaggot, degenerate. usually one of those. douchebag, asshole, bitch, weirdo, autist, spazz, moron.

i cant stop judging people hahahahaha.

STILL, i INSIST that its worse for women to go out there and let themselves be used as pieces of sex meat, that it is for pathetic omega virgins to jerk off to jooish porn. because in one you have essentially two people hurting each other, in the other, you have one loser hurting himself.

but dont get me wrong, porn is horrible and i am ASHAMED and REGRETFUL that i ever looked at it. well, that i looked at it so MUCH.

and tbh, i was only a little above average i think for American Men Of My Generation. Many men are much, much worse. i was nowhere NEAR a Porn Addict.

hmm sorta watching this movie the lost weekend, i mean i had watched this intently a few years ago, and i think after i stopped drinking as well, and had gained some Understanding of the Baffling Cunning “Disease”, and i still found the movie disappointing and corny, and for some reason it seems better now.

i mean ive been on the straight and narrow path here for the last damn 7 years basically. no booze, a little bit of MJ though. not enough imho hahahahahahaha. gradually became more Alt Right, more JQ, less degen, more principled, just a better person hahaha. although unfort more of a virgin neet loser too hahahaha.

well its been up and down tho. ebb and flow.

was driving home and saw this fat guy and his fat wife in my neighborhood who are always sitting in their backyard smoking cigarettes and being fat, and i thought wow, fat and smoking, good choice buddy, and then i thought ok i shouldnt JUDGE him, he very well could be a very very very nice kind man, very courageous, very strong. nobody is perfect, me neither, and so he just happens to be a fat smoker. nobodys perfect and what if he’s very very nice.

how often do i need to bring in donuts? i dont want to more than once every 2 weeks.

you gotta ask the right questions. what if i ask the WRONG questions? what if i ask DUMB questions???!!?!

so show them i am smart by quoting Big Thought Leaders in this Education Related Field. I read some education books right? hehehe yes the only education books i read were “dumbing us down” by gatto and “the unschooling handbook” by some woman.

both very anti establishment sort of stuff. but which may be considered moer establishment in 2016.

i mean i really SHOULD be more interested in the Field of muh job. which all I will say it is SOMEWHAT education related.

so yeah i think education is bullshit ahhahahahahhahahahaha. all education should be handled by parents.

yeah well what about college level stuff. the job im doing COULD ACTUALLY BE LEGIT USEFUL to a HUHWHYTE NATION as regards “homeschooling” college/grad level material to Learners. It’s GOOD because it can put you into direct contact with Experts and Instructors while minimizing the JOOISH DEGEN (((((COLLEGE EXPERIENCE))))), i will just say that.

MINIMIZING IT!

so yeah this is actually a REALLY good position to be in and i shoul dbe  MOAR grateful!

maybe i should bring bagels instead of donuts? i mean i will actually eat bagels later if people dont eat them all. its easier to save and eat bagels later than donuts.

now you could still use this technology to deliver jooish marxist frankfurt skool degeneracy and mindkilling soulkilling poison into the brains of students, but again, its just a TOOL, that can be used for good OR for bad.

if it helps even one white neet get a good paying job one day, then its worth it.

so in a way, i am working in support of my Dream Career by Helping White Neets.  UP FROM NEETNESS.

well, if they are doing education, technically they are not a neet then hahahahahaha. well how about neets who are only involved in education, because its a LOT easier to go to college than to Get A Job. you just pay shitloads of money (take out loans) and go to some shitty school hahahaha.

honestly just go to your local community college. i PROMISE you its not THAT shitty. better than fookin DEVRY. talk about fookin SKYPES.

besides, to get a good job, you cant just have book knowledge and do good in online college courses. you have to be good with PEOPLE. CUSTOMERS. you have to have MAD CHARISMA and not be autistic!

so how do all these autists get jobs?

uhh the ones that dont get stem degrees from good colleges DONT! they become neets!

so would i feel more comfortable lying to the MMJ doctor about Carpal Tunnel or Back Pain, or Lying about getting Spasms from the meds i take for muh Severe Despair?

great now the poor beta orbiter kid who was in love with his female friend was bullycided into removing his post. because hes such a HORRIBLE PERSON. good lord they hate these pathetic niceguys more than they hate Raepists. seriously. right now he is probably blaming the shit out of himself for being such a horrible person. and he wont let himself grieve properly for a relationship that “didnt exist.” yeah well if he knew her for THREE YEARS it DID exist, no matter how close she felt to HIM, no matter what these degenerate bullies on /relships say.

THAT KID IS BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!

there is ANOTHER post about an opposite secs best friend at the top of the relships hotlist!

GUESS WHAT /R/RELSHIPS, WHEN YOUR “BEST FRIEND” IS THE OPPOSITE SECS, RIDICULOUS DRAMA ENSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess you can be “friends,” but to identify as “best friends”? HELL NO.

sheeeeeeeeeit tuff times buddy. im sure reddit will say he is a horrible person for thinking he is entitled to something.

yep sad shit man. well at least you can do your JOB and shit you got a NEW JOB within 8 months of getting heartbreakingly dumped! so id say youre doing pretty well. just work 80 hours a week at your new job and smoke MJ the rest of the time. use MJ to bribe tinder wh0res into nihilistic secs hahahaha.

did i get jealous because they were leaving me, or did they leave me because i was getting jealous?

i think i kept my jealousy under wraps PRETTY DAMN WELL until it became clear they were pulling away from me, talking to other guys, and then i’d say i had a PRETTY GOOD REASON to get jealous hehehehe.

so yeah i dont eer push women away because i am “THE JEALOUS TYPE.”

heres a good quote from this one:

”   [–]PaHoua 4 points 49 minutes ago
If you’re the one broken up with, it is very likely you’ll take much longer to move on than the dumper. That person has already been “mourning” the loss of the relationship for a long time and when they finally came to terms with it is when they decided to commit to the action of dumping you.
Think of it like the five steps of grief: 1. Denial; 2. Bargaining; 3. Anger; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
When she reached Acceptance, you weren’t even aware of what was to come. Then she dumped you. You moved into Denial.
This happened to me. I moved back and forth between all of the stages until I got into Acceptance. He was dating within weeks and probably earlier, whereas I remained in between stages for a couple of years.
It takes as long as it takes. That’s all anyone can tell you.     ”

wow a woman saying something very reasonable hahahahaha

 

ITS NOT WORF IT

nov 26

yeah you know what now i have a damn desire to play that ff6 gaym. even though its not AWESOME. its merely PLAYABLE.

like a BOSS I just shaved for the very first time with an Old Fashioned Safety Razor. I was ECSTATIC. it was DELIGHTFUL.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Van-Der-Hagen-Traditional-Heavy-Duty-Razor-6-pc/37482632?action=product_interest

so yeah not a top shelf MERKUR(R) razor, but tbh I am completely satisfied, expectations exceeded even.

every surprise was a pleasant surprise. i thought i would butcher muh face with it. i absolutely did not, even wielding the blade someway carelessly.

i guess you have to use somewhat shorter strokes because it gets less with each swipe, but thats not a big deal at all. takes a little longer. not super duper FAST.

but it did not leave muh neckbeard all red and irritated like if i were using the normal electric razor.

i guess to keep it working well i will have to change the blades regularly hahahaha, which is not something i am likely to do hahahaha.

but yeah overall, 10/10, highly recommended, great pleasurable activity. i did not even use fancy Shaving Butter or Mug stuff, just some old ass shaving cream that was almost spent.

started reading DBT book, it was ok. it starts out recommending Radical Acceptance, which is you basically saying it is what it is. accepting that whatever bad shit has happened. dont blame. blaming them or blaming yourself doesnt help you manage the suffering. keeps you suffering longer.

well i was already ok at this. i accepted what happened. didnt mean i had to respect it. this is why I say, ACCEPT IT, DONT RESPECT IT, when some fool tells you to “RESPECT HER DECISION.” fook NO you dont have to RESPECT it. you can say this is SHITTY AS FOOK. but you can still ACCEPT it. like yes that happened. i will try not to blame her or myself too much.

this event is the result of OVER A MILLION prior decisions. This even HAD to happen. hehehehe. you basically observe the painful event and say yeah this painful event happened and i dont have to like it hahahaha.

then yu DISTRACT yourself from the event to keep your emotions from running too high. distract but don’t avoid.

the book gives you a list of 100 pleasurable activities. some of the shit is bona fide DEGEN, like “masturbate” or “have secs with someone you like” the latter of which is not NECESS degen, but I snorted and scoffed at the NONNEVERGF PRIVILEGE on full display here!

i mean MAYBE I should have saved and spend more money on the fanciest fooking razor in the world, instead of paying 16 dollars for a razor made in CHINA, spend 30 dollars on an actual merkur razor made in GERMANY…..and if i ever get tired of this Chinee Razor, I will do just that.

i dunno. i just like holding and looking at the razor. best present to self ever. a true alt right pro white razor hahaha. this is how richard spencer shaves hahaha. again shaving is degenerate, jooish, and pedophilic hahahaha but when you have to shave your face to have the privilege of slaving for joos, and be a semiproud white working man, you should use a masculine, classic, traditional, stainless steel / chrome Safety Razor.

i think if you use a STRAIGHT razor, thats where you can really cut yourself.

they call this thing a SAFETY razor because it has a little metal strip under the blade so you dont stab or gouge yourself. normal mach 3 razors have these too hehehe. only they are made of plastic or a gay “lubricating strip.”

its ridiculous how much i like this stupid RAZOR hahahaha. i mean i have been thinking of getting one for MONTHS and now that i went and got one i am very very very happy with it hehehe. i cant explain it but I am thankful for it. will bask in the good vibes hahaha. so if you have something like this, something simple and not horribly expensive, then Treat Yourself to a little present. note i am not talking about big ticket purchases. dont spend money you dont have on a CAR or buy a 5000 dollar TV, TVs are almost always a bad idea, plus TV is degen jooish poison. clothes can be nice, but a lot of clothes are SUPER overpriced. hard to find a good deal on good clothes. just go to walmart.

also this final fantasy 6 game is sucking me in more and more. using a walkthrough to help me hahahaha

http://www.gamefaqs.com/snes/554041-final-fantasy-iii/faqs/73586?single=1

now this guy is autistic. well thats not fair to say. he writes with pure luv for the game.

nov 27

yep interview early tomorrow morning. dont even want the job. if on a 1/28 chance  (3.5%) i am offered the job, i prob WOULDNT take it, even though it is full time.

because its much further away, the pay is prob about the same per hour (11-12 an hour) and theres no benefits and no guarantee of hours. plus i sort of know the people in the “new job” i am going to and the ones i dont really know seem nice, plus i like the relaxed pace of the whole organization hahaha.

hmmm yep i am officially on board this damn ff6. might as well enjoy it. be thankful for it. use it to distract myself from negative thoughts of how all women are evil whores and how i will never make more than 13k a year and never become a husband and father hahahahhaa.

nov 27

was so in luv with new chinee van der hagen razor i used it again today with fresh barbasol shaving cream. i dont know how long the blades last. avoiding preparing for stupid interview at 830 am tomorrow, monday. got to get up at 545 am noooooo. also want to do 2 errands in addition to that.

hey shit why should they tell me the job only pays 11 dollars an hour. why tell me ANYTHING. just let me dig and show intiative by trying to find out. heh. referring to job int tomorrow morning. 830 am. get up at 530 hahaha. prepped for interview a bit. printed out shit. found out awards the hospital won, some basic info, 2015 revenue, number of employees, ceo name, oh i see you have gotten a new supply chain director can you tell me how that will impact the procurement in this department, when the average employee in the department is a GED black who gets hired without knowing what the word procurement means hahahahaha.  not that i really know what it means. it related to buying and purchasing.

i dunno. normies arent stupid but they arent hella smart either. they arent constantly SELLING shit and EXPLAINING shit and having to CHARM and SELL and CONVINCE and ARGUE like a goddamn snake oil salesman 24 7. theyre just not that CHARMING. shit at this point, I am more charming than them.

so many average, perfectly average, 100 IQ, 90 IQ people have adult jobs and make 26k a year and have houses and gfs and wives and children and families.

well we already determined i only have 105 IQ, so im not as smart as i think i am. i am not an intellectual. but i am not a doer or a man of action either! usually when you are dumber like this, you have more courage, more energy, less anxiety, are happier, a better worker, not as neurotic. so i got the worst of both worlds. super intelligent, 130 IQ people might be anxious and cowardly, but they can usually make like 50k a year with their Big Brains On Bret.

nov 28

sheeeeet got up at 530, interview at 830, it went ok, i sorta sailed through it, they wanted to move quickly i sensed, but they were nice about it. i mean even if they offer the job i will refuse it hahahaha. there was a very pretty 25 year old HR gurl, surprised I didnt lose my shit there.

i reined myself in from giving super long rambling answers. just kept it short. showed that i learned about the company, rattled off a few figures and numbers and awards.

i would be actually kinda pissed to actually get an offer here, like damn why could i perform well for this job but not one of the ones i REALLY wanted?

is it possible that i went down to a 32 waist? I mean its not unheard of. back in the day i used to be. a very very long time ago. i barely remember it. then i was like ahhhhhh 34 is much more comfortable. then it was hmm these 34s are getting a little snug, ahhhhhhhh this 36 is much better hahahahahahaha.

i was thinking that if you got a h00ker, she would PROBABLY know how to get you drvgs too. so are all h00kers drvg dealers? that seems a little much.  but i would def say that all h00kers KNOW drug dealers because all h00kers are drvg ADDICTS hahahahahahaha. so you could PROBABLY pay a hooker not only for secs, but for the service of Procurement of drvgs hahahaha.

maybe the h00ker has a medical MJ card. you pay the hooker to go to the dispensary and buy you whatever. you can even drive her there. i don’t know if you will be allowed to go in though.

sheeeeeeit this goddamn hospital job is contacting muh references. the one reference i am most friendly with just emailed me and forwarded me the think that the hospital emailed to them.

i quickly emailed back and said thank you thank you, well nows a good time to tell you, but i am coming back to your/our organization for muh new job, and would probably turn down this hospital job. it just figures THEY would check my references. and not any of the OTHER jobs I really wanted. anything to make MY decision harder. because i will be turning down an Essentially Full Time Job for a damn Part Time job.

took some nyquil and now it is kicking in hehe.

sheeeeit. then they will contact my OTHER reference, who actually works RIGHT NOW in the department I will be working in. worst case scenario they will tell the boss i am still out there interviewing and the boss will revoke muh offer, after i refuse the offer from the hospital hahahaha and then am back with no job, after getting offered 2 jobs hahahaha. when if i DIDNT have this skool job, THEN i would take the hospital offer.

this is classic negative thinking. most likely she will say nothing and i will mention it when i see her, like oh did the hospital call you, yeah that was an interview i had scheduled before i got this offer, but i didnt want to cancel the hospital interview, just so i could get more practice. i honestly didnt think they’d like me, i REALLY didnt think they’d call references, I REALLY REALLY REALLY didnt think theyd give me an offer. I did 27 interviews and only got 1 offer. its stupid that I do 28 interviews and get 2 offers. no gambler would gamble on those odds.  when you are used to interviewing and nothing happening as I am, you start to think interviews dont really matter.

unbelievable. 27 interviews to get one offer, then get a second offer on the 28th hahahaha. well thats not true. never forget that i was offered the post office job. city carrier assistant. but i turned that down because i was too big of a soft sissy pvssy hahahaha who wasnt willing to WORK HARD. but i dont tell anybody about this one, this is my big secret hahaha. because people would say WHY DIDNT YOU TAKE THAT JOB MONTHS AGO and i cant just say because mel carriere wrote some very persuasive articles on the internet hahaaha. they ARE very well writtten articles!

so am i making a HUGE MISTAKE by turning down this hospital job in favor of the skool job?

do i really think i made a HUGE MISTAKE turning down the post office job?

well not REALLY but i BARELY survived until I got another job offer.

if i had not gotten that skool job offer i would definitely not turn down the hospital job. which is nowhere near as scary as the post office job.

heh trying to download ff12 ps2 gaym. how fast or slow will this gaym play. if at all. that was a great game for a newer game. it really was.

maybe i made a big mistake by picking one job over the other.

hehehe. well at least they arent WOMEN. ill get over picking one job over the other hehe. but if i had to choose between two women……i mean shit. usually you dont have a CHOICE. you just get rejected and rejected. until the ONE time you get a YES……you get TWO yeses. JEEZUM CROW.

heh. wish i had just CANCELLED this interview the moment i got the other job offer hehehe.

i have known to be super regretful of mistakes i made, for years, of things i didnt do hahahahaha.

again. that is not regarding a job! i am not super regretful i didnt take the post office job. i am not super regretful i did not accept the americorps offer in 2006/7, even though that would have drastically changed my life, probably for the better.

do i regret taking the new job in late 2013? kind of, yes. i regret saying YES to that, more than i regret saying NO to other shit hahahaha.

so anyway this will basically be my time machine back to 2013. except i will be 3 years old. last 3 years, totally wasted hahahahaha. 1.5 years working horrible job, 1.5 years being horribly jobless. during that 3 years, i was Just Friends with That Woman for about 10 or 11 months, I was hopeless in luv for about 9 months, and then Heartbroken and Finished for like 16 months hahahahaha. out of those 36 months of stupid pointless abortive bullshit.

well at least i know not to leave my job for another job LIKE THAT. taught me a lesson about FIT. similar reason as to why i rejected the post office job.

that was a big problem. when i got the job in 2013, i didnt do ANY damn research on it. i didnt say, IS THIS A CALL CENTER? do i think it might be difficult workign in a call center?

well maybe i did, maybe i wanted to challenge myself, plus she will be there to help me.

i think i saw it as growing out of my comfort zone and challenging myself……which is GOOD. and it was GOOD to be able to meet that challenge. to prove it to myself.

so i did better than expected! I actually GREW and IMPROVED in life! GAINED SKILLS!

but then it all came crashing down later.

nov 29

i feel like a WOMAN, having big decisions to make and doing it all based on whimsical EMOTION hahaha. and makign big mistakes in the process: saying yes to the bad and saying no to the good hahahaha.

yeah but really. its not that cut and dry with this job situation. i am blowing it out of proportion. as i tend to do. its not like this skool job is a BAD thing. i just have to remember to not stay too long hahahaha. but i have a tendency to do that too. distract myself “TAKING CLASSES” that go nowhere and then BOOM 3 years gone.

so if i take classes again, take classes that DO go somewhere. ie a definite program with a definite certificate or end date.

again as muh DBT book would say, i am living in the future and not the present moment hahahaha.

using a TIME MACHINE to spend way too much time worrying about the FUTURE or regretting the PAST. yes i do both these things a lot.

i would say, dont worry about having huge regrets about jobs you didnt take. jobs are jobs. instead, have regrets about PEOPLE who you did wrong, left in the lurch, betrayed, cheated on, insulted, hurt, etc.

PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN JOBS.

i might DISAPPOINT people but I never HURT people.

heh. i would rather people felt sorry for me than hate me. i dont want to hurt people or do them WRONG.

i never want to break a persons heart hahahaha. and i have succeeded in that goal.

i mean i guess i could have broken muh familys heart by being such a huge failure at life, but i dont think i did hahahaha. which i guess is good?

i couldnt imagine breaking somebodys heart! yet MOST women have broken SEVERAL hearts starting from a young age! if i HAD to break somebodys heart, i would damn sure do everything humanly possible to Soften The Blow. NOT do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I would made a DAMN good faith effort to Soften The Blow. Not Nothing. hehehehe.

once TRVMP gets in there and DRAINS THE SWAMP things are gonna be good hahahahhahaha.

make american great again, make women good again, make america huhwhyte again hahahaha.

so yeah women dont have a REAL appreciation of how babies are made hahaha.

was watching a clip of Teen Moms hahaha where the baby daddy was fighting with the baby momma about how she will Open Her Legs for Any Man, thats how [our baby] came about. Don’t you know thats how babies are made? do you want more babies? dont you RESPECT HOW BABIES ARE MADE? you dont have any respect for ME, you dont have any respect for how babies are made, yet you claim to luvvvvvvv our baby, how can I believe that after you threw me away and now you’re pregnant again by this thuggish guy you just met on tinder?

all very very good points hahahaha.

if you REALLY luv your little bundle of joy, DONT go around repeating the Life Creation Process that led to this special beautiful little person, with just ANY RANDOM MAN!!!!!! dont you see the disconnect there? choose a man who is as special as that little baby!

SHAME THESE SLUTS!!!!!

and i say all this because I worry that That Woman is going out and Enjoying Her Life meeting and Fooking men from Tinder.

but that’s her right!

YES, its her right, but that doesnt mean i have to LIKE it!

the related issue is that I dont WANT to care about this, i dont even want to THINK about this!

last night I had some kind of horrible terrifying nightmare while I was in the depths of a nyquil sleep, so it was very very hard to pull myself out of. but thankfully I cant remember any details of it because of the deep nyquil sleep. I also had a dream i remember a little better where i was being Bullied by my roommates, when they used to be nice to me. now they had done a 180 and it was very frustrating.

right after TRVMP won I think they tried to Tame His Twitter. but then soon after that, you could clearly tell which tweets he was writing, vs the softened ones his team was writing. i am glad he still writes his own controversial tweets.

did you know theres no label to click “starred” that lets you view all your gmail Starred emails, like there is with the “important” emails? theres really no difference between starred and important.  you can click on important and show important. but to show all starred, you have to type “is:starred”. this is very easy, and indeed you can just type “star” and it will give you the option is:starred, but its the principle of the matter. “starred” should be on that clickable list to the left.

on first day of job i will bring 1 dozen donuts. will also bring a large folgers coffee container and say this is for everybody, i know its pretty middle tier coffee but it is what it is, I’ll drink it at least. if they say they dont have a coffee maker, then i will buy a cheapo one for 20$ from walmart. if they say great we luv coffee and already have a coffee maker, i will assertively set up a rotation to buy coffee not greater in proportion than the amount of Community Coffee I consume hahahaha.

if they bitch at me for giving them free coffee thats not fancy enough, ill bantz them right back and be like, well pay me 30 dollars an hour like YOU make! as long as im buying the coffee, you drink 11 dollar an hour coffee like the plebs! you drink 13k a year coffee, not 60k a year coffee hahaha. you make 4 times more than i do, my coffee will be 4 times cheaper than yours.

well ok its crimmus, i’ll buy nice coffee just this once.

cuz i was thinking of treating myself by buying Fancy Organic Coffee for crimmus.

maybe I should buy a ton of pens, post it notes, and little notepads hahahahaha. and some Reams of Paper. so the department doesnt have to cut into their budget to buy Office Supplies hahahahaha.

THATS how you Bribe people ethically hahahaha. really ADD VALUE and SAVE MONEY. i mean teachers buy school supplies for their students. and stuff like kleenex because theres no room in the budget for stuff like that. because all the money goes to pensions of teachers who retired at age 50 hahahahahahaha.

now it takes till age 35 of subbing like a bitch before you can even GET a full time teaching job hahaha. gotta PAY YOUR DUES.

anyway. i touched on some VERY IMPORTANT ideas yesterday that I amazingly dont examine too much: that time in november & december 2013 when i left muh old job and started muh new job, a process which heavily involved That Woman and did not involve nearly as much deep careful thought as muh current job search.

now i DID manage to Grow and Improve beyond my Comfort Zone. but the downside i was in a much more stressful situation which also led me to have a Snapping Breakdown. i did learn legit good great things….but IT WASNT WORF IT. it was a net negative.

i Just Went With The Flow because it was EASY, I did have to do anything but go along with my female friend, who was essentially presenting this new job to me. I KNEW that I needed to move on from muh current job at the time, because it wasnt a real job, and i was getting complacent, i needed a Kick In The Pants, and I figured this was it.

But it WAS! I wasnt wrong about that. I JUST WISH I had tried harder to get Other Jobs Elsewhere. like i wasnt trying really hard at all. I didnt have a good Packet. I wasnt even really DOING a job search, just applying here and there, very few and far between.

i also didnt want to talk myself out of it, because I knew i NEEDED a kick in the pants.

so i guess i tried to be willfully ignorant of the idea that it was a Call Center, because I figured rightly that that would give me cold feet.

yeah i needed kick in the pants, yeah i needed to be pushed out of comfort zone, yeah i couldnt have known exactly how bad Call Centers Are….i dunno. this was a confusing time too. you dont know whether you should listen to your gut, because your gut has been wrong before, or at least not terribly RIGHT. your gut has kept you stuck in a rut.

so yeah i cant even say trust your gut. and i wish i could trust it! well i can trust it to keep me SAFE in the comfort zone. but it DOES keep me from taking the RISKS you need to take to change and grow. because those same risks can lead to pain and suffering and great great loss hahahaha. losing literally YEARS of your life.

shit if i had listened to my gut i would have saved three years of my life on this one hahahaha.

but at the time i figured i needed kick in the pants, and also that this was a sign from GOD that he put my female friend in my life to help get me a new job, which i really needed. and I really needed a female friend too!

too bad both things turned out to be really shitty hahahaha.  a real shit elephant.

no i am not butthurt at GOD, THAT much. although I do wonder WHY exactly did I HAVE to learn this stupid lesson? IT WASNT WORF IT.

(is this brad dourif on this old episode of tj hooker playing an absolutely insane demon possessed madman? is that literally the only role he ever plays? hahahaha. it kinda looks like him but im not sure its him. ok im thinking its not him. it just looks like him and is totally a character he would play. also now i am seeing that brad dourif sorta looks like stefan molyneux hahahahahaha. EPISODE#: 1.2 “The Streets” AIRDATE: 03.20.82   Gary Frank  as”Arlen Williams” ok case closed its not brad dourif. source http://www.tj-hooker.com/episodes/episodepages/1-2.html )

yeah the lesson wasnt WORF it. tell your female friends RIGHT AWAY when you fall in luv with them. dont ever take a job in a call center. i lost 3 fookin years of my life just to learn those lessons? WASNT WORF IT!

so yeah i dont REALLY REGRET taking that job, leaving my old job. I dont like throwing 3 years away for nothing, but I can also totally understand why I did what I did. It was a tough choice that could have gone either way, and i have very solid reasons for choosing what i did. I had no way of knowing it would turn out as bad as it did!

but yeah things would have been a lot better if i just stayed where i was hahahahahaha. great lesson. never take risks so you might grow, because you might also fall behind hahahaha.

so yeah. i guess it really wouldnt pay off to examine this period of time. because it would have been NICE if i had acted differently, but i can TOTALLY see why i did what i did, and i dont REALLY regret it, but I am kinda regretful of the Possible Brighter Future I could have had, if i stayed. but i dont know that! maybe horrible shit would have happened then!

like what? lose muh job and lose muh luv? I just cant see things happening nearly as bad. I prob would have grown apart naturally from That Woman and NEVER fallen in luv with her. Or maybe I would have realized at that time that i was in luv with her. but at least i wouldnt be working with her at a godawful ticking time bomb of a job! and she prob would have rejected me nicer! and i would still have an easy job to work at!

so yeah, i dont think things could have gotten worse, unless i started drinking again and stalked her or something. but if i didnt do that NOW, when things were horrible, i wouldnt do them THEN, when things would have been a lot better.

so yeah, i pretty much DO know that things would have been better hahahahahaha.

but i also had no way of knowing things would turn out THIS bad. i didnt think they would!!!!!

so yeah a bit of a nagging feeling, but not quite a Big Life Regret, that if i had stayed, muh life would have been a lot better hahaha.  in terms of not Incurring Yuge Pain and Prolonged Suffering hahahaha.

i mean i DID grow in important ways. i learned how to deal with people better. well, in terms of handling ridiculous situations and bullshitting with customers who needed to be CONVINCED of shit. was not good at dealing with Women hhehehehe. or Stressful Situations hahaha. but some things i did get better at dealing with. and I also got a LOT better at Job Searching and Interviewing!!! that might not have been worth it, but it WAS very valuable.

i uhhh also lost a LOT of weight, like 20% of muh body weight, so that is kinda a big deal. nothing to sneeze at.

became a job searching, interviewing machine, taking rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection for months and months and months. It was starting to get pretty discouraging though!

hehehe. my nice reference who emailed me yesterday with what they wrote to the hospital, i thanked them immediately of course, AND THEN I TOOK a few choice sentences that they wrote yesterday, AND ADDED THEM INTO the recommendation letter that they wrote for me over 3 years ago which I use today in The Packet. Making that recommendation letter even MORE glowing.

if you have the chance to do that, do that. its kinda dishonest but I KNOW the person would not mind. I am not putting words in their mouth, simply taking two things they said at two different times, for the same purpose, and combining them into one letter.

HOW TO JOB SEARCH

Nov 19 2016

so when i need to start doing it again in no longer than 9 months, i can jump right back into it.

– uhhh go to indeed and change all the best alerts to “daily” and or unpause them. i dont think i really DELETED anything.
– use The Packet but make sure res, CL, are updated with New Experience. IDEALLY would have some new reference letters and reference phone numbers as well.
– update linkedin
– update indeedresume
– get some new people to write LINKEDIN recs, ie that get posted on linkedin site
– use the jop app minutes spreadsheet which captures all the important information.
– early apps might take longer because they involve rewriting documents and stuff. thats ok, count those minutes, and then the average will come down in the long run to like 14 minutes.
– its ok to take longer than 14 minutes to make a really good application
– put all the stuff called for in the spreadsheet
– study cases and calls at new job
– WRITE DOWN WORK STORIES THE DAY THAT THEY HAPPEN
– have a book of the Top Ten Work Stories
– can embellish or change those to make myself into the hero. important thing is that i write them down as soon as they happen, and make them as DETAILED as possible.
– 14 words hahahaha
– have To Do Jobs Bookmark Folder
– RENAME bookmarks as you set them, with “cl 11/20, 26k, any other info that doesnt appear in actual title”. this way you can easily see and arrange the bookmarks in order of date they close. if no date given, assume 7 days. or earlier, depending on how desireable the job seems. at some point every day or few days, arrange the new bookmarks into order.
– move completed bookmarks to COMPLETED folder. folders of bookmarks is the idea here. very powerful.
– then have easy links to job postings can put in job apps spreadsheet
– when in doubt, add a bookmark, dont HAVE to apply for it.
– set DAILY alerts on indeed for top companies, so can get emails as SOON as they are posted

yeah i mean The Packet is about as sophisticated and powerful as its gonna get. just never delete all copies of it. hahahaha. look for most recent version in google drive / job work related. hard to miss. then update it.

the getting detailed AND epic AND heroic WORK STORIES is the other very important thing to remember. write them down the day of, get as many little details as possible, can always edit later.

WRITE DOWN WORK STORIES ASAP
WORK STORIES
WORK STORIES
DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS
EPIC HEROIC MIRACULOUS.

Im not sure I shared this thing with yall yet. this was an evernote note I wrote for myself so that I wouldnt forget how to job search, for when I NEED to push myself to start job searching again in 6 to 9 months. wrote it shortly after I got The Offer and put muh job search on Pause. anyway there is some good stuff in there.

ARE THERE ANY WOMEN WHO DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX?!?!?!?!

oct 29

went to store. wanted to find cheapest face wash soap. have very oily face and starting to think that washing it with dial hand soap is just too harsh and may cause it to become more irritated, more oily, just beating the shit out of it. so i found “dial acne face wash” with salicylic acid. give it a try. i do not get terrible acne, but would get occasional small pimples just because the skin was so damn oily. now i dont have a problem with that per se, i know oily skin ages fairly well, so i will have decent looking skin when i am an old senior.

dial acne face wash for like 3.50, 7.5 oz bottle. pretty happy about this one folks.

really prob the best thing i could do is just wash/rinse with plain water, no soap on the face ever. period. and i might indeed go down that road when this bottle of face wash is done.

had a dream that I was face with like a 20 year old attractive nonwhite girl with brownish skin. i was like WELP I’m a white supremacist, but this gurl is being very interested in me, i COULD bang her, shes got a good body, she’s not ugly, i kinda DO want to bang her, just not make sprog mutant godforsaken abomination babies with her. yeah i will bang her good. maybe even 10 times. it will be fun.

now none of the banging happened in the dream of course hahahaha.

damn. your THIRTY FIVE year old wife with two kids wants to open your marriage now. where do these women get off? maybe a 25 year old woman, i wouldnt be so surprised. but youd think by 35, with 2 kids, she would be mature enough, and more aware of her market value, that she would stop with this hypergamous, have your cake and eat it too bullshit. do you really think youre gonna find a better man at age 35? and youre killing your poor husband cuck!

also this kind of open marriage is insulting to actual polyamorists, which i cant believe i am acknowledging!

this is simply a REAL shitty way of making an EXCUSE for, well hubby, i’m bored with you and i want to cheat and I just met a hot exciting sexy new guy i want to cheat with, so lets try an OPEN REL.  BULLSHIT.

how can she NOT SEE that he isnt gonna agree to this? how is it SO HARD for her to see that MOST people WOULD be VERY UPSET by this? youre 35 years old with a successful career and an 8 year old child!!

AND they are both seeing separate counselors, AND a marriage counselor together!!!!!!

and she still cant see that you just dont CONVINCE  (coerce) your husband into an open rel when he doesnt like the idea………..and 99.9% of men wont!!!!!!!!

i mean SHIT. even the polyamorous GUY the cheating whore was dating talked to the husband, could see how much it was hurting the husband, and broke up with the cheating whore hahahahahahahha.

thing is, there are plenty of women who have tons of casual sex and FWB’s……but they still have that moral line about CHEATING, and have never technically CHEATED.  so i am beign unfair to them with my implication that all casual sex nihilists are also cheaters!

well it IS a slippery slope, isnt it???!?!?!?!?!

sheeeeeeeit.

anyway. its very possible i dont care about a womans past, or a womans many beta harem male friends, when the gurl is OBVIOUSLY INTERESTED in spending time with me. its when they start shutting down and distancing themselves from me, and i get heartbroken and want them back but cant have them back, thats when i start complaining about all the guys shes fooked, or all her male friends that shes gonna fook, who are more sexy and exciting and fun than widdle old me.

but if the woman were ACTUALLY WITH ME for more than 3 weeks, yeah, i think i could put things in perspective and be like, welp, she’s clearly choosing to be with me. rather than making me JUMP THRU HOOPS just to buy her dinner once every two months, or MAYBE ill text you if my other plans dont work out.  when they CLEARLY make me a PRIORITY and not an OPTION. when they clearly make me an OPTION thats when i start bitching about their many other options. and especially their Priorities, who i’m butthurt they chose over me!

so yeah i honestly think i have a decent change of not being all insecure and jealous, ONCE a woman actually CHOOSES me as a priority for longer than a month!

i only get jealous AFTER I get rejected in other words. jealous that she rejects me in favor of them. thats less jealousy and just being plain BUTTHURT or sore loser. and its completely understandable! its HARD to be rejected! especially when you KNOW she is out having fun and lavishing that same shit that you enjoyed SO MUCH for 3 weeks, to some other lucky and/or BETTER guy!!!!!!!!!!

and then i think, COME ON, I’m not THAT shitty…………………………………..

……………………………or AM I????????

and then muh confidence is crushed for years hahahaha.

 

come on. shes 31. she should know how to be nicer to a guy when she dumps him. also its pathetic that he is so hung up over a 31 year old past her prime! this B’s longest rel is only 6 months, and she used to get on a plane to fook a guy before she met this beta guy. thats a good show of effort, when the girl is willing to put forth THAT much WORK, to FLY to see you, regularly.

thing is, they CAN show effort. they CAN be nice. you’ve seen them do it before, you’ve experienced them being nice to YOU before! so why cant they even be 1% as nice when they decide to dump you? be like this just isnt working out, its not you its me, youre not a bad guy, youre a great guy, this is my fault, you can blame me, im sorry, im the bad guy here, but yeah its over because youre not a priority for me and im choosing other guys over you, but its just because i dont want to put in the effort, youre not my type, im sorry to string you along and lead you on and give you false hope, you deserve a loyal and loving woman, and thats not me, im sorry, have a good life, heres at least 100 dollars worth of MJ to help you get through this, and here’s a shrink you can email who will act as my surrogate/representative. the end. hahahahahaha.

that might be a good idea too. hire a shrink to open a new email address and then monitor it and relay messages to the woman, and or shut down any “creepiness” with Firm And Direct statements. the shrink could do the email for 15 minutes a week, 4 weeks, for like 50 dollars.

shirnks or social workers have the communication skills that normal people DONT. so you should pay PROFESSIONALS to handle Breakups, in other words!

why do so many normies do things that you really need PROFESSIONALS to do?

why do you need to go to GRADUATE SCHOOL and become a PROFESSIONAL just to have a Human Relationship???????

i smell jooish stench here hahahahaha.

i dont REALLY think you DO need to go to grad school to have a rel, in other words.

well i mean MEN, because women never have to do any work in rels………..and thats FAIR. dont get mad about that.

i have EIGHTEEN full time years of education. shouldnt that be enough to get me 26k a year?

NO!!!!! you arent ENTITLED to anything!!!! you have WORK to IMPROVE yourself!!!!

well thats what I’m SAYING! i DID do a known quantity of work to improve myself: 18 years of education. isnt that GOOD ENOUGH to warrant, to ENTITLE me, to a 26k job?

NO!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

you hear stories of people who do millions of first dates but no second dates because the women are so terrible and unattractive. then i think, wow, now THAT WOMAN is one of those forgettable first dates for a number of men. yet i havent forgotten about her!!!!

what was so special about her?

well she was super nice to me and wanted to hang out with me and thought i was cool! that was a big confidence boost, AND she was a real nice person and I thought, hey, I LIKE hanging out with such a nice person! see, women arent all MONSTERS!!!!!!! what a good, nice person! this is exactly the type of person i want in my life! i should hang out with her more!

hehehehehe.

hehehehe id like to meet that dad. yoga pants ARE vulgar and they DO make women look like whores and it IS disappointing!

well him looking at porn is degen of course. but SHE, who doesnt have a problem with porn, has a problem with HIM watching porn because it means hes a hypocrite.

no, it just means he likes jerking off to dirty whores! he just doesnt want his daughter to dress like a dirty whore!

meanwhile she is a successful 25 year old career woman, completely financially independent, oooooo what a SUCCESSFUL, strong independent woman who dont need no man, no husband, no father!

he hates promiscuity yet BENEFITS from it by watching porn!

is he REALLY benefitting?

and is it REALLY promiscuous?

are you saying its BAD to be promiscuous?

are you saying PORN is BAD?

the moron doesnt even know what she’s saying.

”  “Women who wear yoga pants look like sluts.” is not a logical position, it’s an emotional one, and emotions are difficult to change.  ”

OF COURSE ITS A LOGICAL POSITION!!!!!!! YOU CAN SEE THEIR DAMN ASS AND GENITALS AS IF THEY ARE COMPLETELY NAKED AND SHOWING IT OFF TO THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

and yeah that does make people emotional…….for a logical reason. the root cause is logical.

o come on. you think ALL those religious pray the gay away homophobes are all jerking off to “lesbian porn?”

NOT EVERYBODY FOOKING WATCHES PORN, YOU FOOKING VULGAR DEGEN NIHILISTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not all women haters, not all homophobes, not all religious sex-haters,  not all PEOPLE watch PORN!!!!!

stop ASSUMING everybody watches porn!! THEY DONT !!!!!!!

what kind of degen world do these people live in, where everybody watches porn and that behavior is normal???

these reddit women like to point out they will be SEXUALIZED no matter what kind of clothes they were, that they will be Catcalled if they wear a burka or yoga pants.

i cant help but think this is bullshit. yeah some perverted men will catcall and harass women in burkas, but wearing yoga pants is just gonna get you a LOT MORE attention, plus it shows that you ENJOY that attention. that you are actively ENCOURAGING that attention, not DISCOURAGING that attention, which is what dressing modestly does.

but yeah when you show basically your naked body to strangers, dont be suprised when people approach you like you want to get fooked. dont advertise your damn practically naked body. and get mad when men treat and look at you sexually. idiot.

heh. thats one reason i liked that woman. she NEVER wore yoga pants or anything slutty.

THAT I KNOW OF. what if she dressed like a TOTAL slut when she was out doing her thing.

it doesnt matter!!!!!

ARE THERE ANY WOMEN WHO DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX??????

oct 30

i am very happy with the new dial acne control face wash for managing muh oily face, without drying it out and abusing it.

heh. i just ASSUME the sweet jobs i interviewed for early in the week will not call me back. nope. i still need to pay more dues, do more interviews, 27 is not enough, im not good enough even for a PART TIME job. i would totally take the part time job because its a way to just get used to working and gradually build your confidence. where throwing you to the wolves for 50 hours a week will destroy your confidence and that terrifies me. in make or break situations, i tend to get broken hahahahaha.  in sink or swim, i tend to sink hahahaha.  so why do all working situations need to be sink or swim? because thats what WORK IS. kinda like joining the MARINES hahahahaha.

then how do SO MANY people DO it? who would probably flunk out of the MARINES?

cuz they dont mind lying and bullshitting and giving shitty service to angry customers and saying not my problem, cant help you, you dont have to like it, goodbye.

heh. when i havent found a “good” person, i always worry that i would have “grass is greener” syndrome, and women have certainly seemed to have it with ME, have no problem dumping me for for exciting men. but when i find someone “good,” i am fully committed. all in. and then i get quickly dumped for greener grass hahahahaha and heartborken for 2 years.

they alway mention loveisrespect.org hahahaha. if men acted like that, they would get dumped for being boring doormat pussy omega sissy unmasculine cucks. you have to DOMINATE at least a little bit.

but in my sensitive sissy heart, i LIKE that loveisrespect stuff. i want a women to accept me for my sissy self.

”  YOUR RESULT:
Your Love Language:
👐 Physical Touch
Hugs and kisses are so much better than any present, right? You are hopelessly romantic and could never date or marry someone who doesn’t like to snuggle on the couch or in bed each night. You enjoy holding hands anywhere and everywhere and think there is nothing sweeter than seeing an elderly couple doing the same. You understand that life is short and the best things in life are free!   ”

this is the result of my Love Languages test.

was not expecting this, i expected something more with talking or writing.

well, i do like cuddling, spanning time, hanging out, but i hate sex hahahahaha.

so yeah . take this physical language shit to mean that i take cuddling very seriously. and i do. but i dont need to fook 10 times a week, or right away.

YOU NEED THERAPY hahahahaha

hehhehe a 30 year old guy who keeps getting dumped by a 40 year old woman with kids. WOW thats gotta be rough. you cant even keep a 40 year old woman with kids from dumping you.

never mind a 25 year old woman with no kids and low number!!!!!!!

maybe she can use all the money she makes to buy herself a good man hahahahahahahahahahaha

because a 7/10 25 yo white woman with no kids needs to BUY a man with money hahahahahaha.

so a guy gets drunk and smacks a girl dressed like a slut at a halloween partys ass, and all the harpies on reddit say ITS SEXUAL ASSAULT!!!! RAPEY!!!!!! and i am downvoting them all hahahahaha.

like your BF never got drunk and smacked a girls ass before!

i never did, but i dont see how its the end of the world.

these reddit women, think EVERYTHING is SEXUAL ASSAULT.

oh good luck if you want to be going out with DONALD TRUMP. does he grab women by the pvssy too? donald trump SEXUALLY ASSAULTS WOMEN!!!!!!!

real life women actually believe this!

well real life women will believe anything the Controlled Media tells them……..or a strong dominant man tells them!

you just say, boys will be boys, baby, and then smack her ass and plow her hard hahahahahaha.

anyway. sheeeeeeeit.

how to stay cool under pressure. blacks do it. aint no thang but a chikun wang. ok great. how about some WHITES who are cool under pressure. like AUSTRALIANS. they just say she’ll be all right mate, and continue to bantz each other and call each other cvnts and drink vb’s. nothing BOTHERS or FLUSTERS them.

yep i totally understand those feels even though i have not been in that same situation really, but i have seen women choose other guys after dumping me and i would get mad and jealous cuz i really wanted to spend some more time with them and i felt they ended my “turn” WAYYYYY too soon.

again my horrendous sense of entitlement! im not ENTITLED to be with a woman longer than…..5 dates? 8 dates? however many “dates” we had. i think is a more accurate way of expressing it than 3 weeks or 2 month or whatever. cuz its not like we were hanging out more than once a week, once every 2 weeks. always an uphill battle trying to get them to make time for me.

they were never THAT interested in me! it was VERY casual! i mean really, That Woman, even though were never had Casual (or uncasual) secs, she was WAY more Interested in me, because she was willing to talk to me and hang out with me over a period of several years! when the other women were DONE with me in a matter of 2 months at most!

anyway when i went to the social thing, there were attractive 25 year old women there in the audience. i should have Chit Chatted with them. but thats hard to do when you are an unemployed 35 year old who makes less than 26k a year! 25 year old women make 40k a year!

see this is the type of stuff i shouldnt be writing about, its pointless, its Counter Productive hahahaha. its destructive and negative. writing like this got me into the mess im in now!

but yeah. in other words, i think i COULD be not super insecure about “muh gf” having tons of male friends, having 10+ previous secs partners, AS LONG AS she put in a good faith effort to SHOW me that I was the priority and not them. I never had that before.

oh, i put in a good faith effort, but we were hanging out and drinking, and one thing led to another, and i fell onto his dick, please forgive me hahahahaha.

heh. i probably would, because my expectations are so low: oh i cheated on you, no i dont want your forgiveness, in fact, im just gonna leave you for him right now. insult to injury. cheated and dumped. no remorse.

just because you dump your bf immediately after cheating on him doesnt mean your cheating wasnt cheating!

im not even talking to anyone in particular, im talking to a fictional hypothetical woman doing a hypothetical shitty thing!

shit spirals hahahaahaha.

ok well heres something good. i could easily look up that womans name in google, and see what comes up, or i could look at the front page of her facebook and instagram page, seeing a current photo of her in other words, possibly with new foccbois, possible black hahahaha. i could be looking for her on okcupid (well, i did look at her once long ago on OKC, but never since) or plenty of fish or whatever. but i havent done ANY of this. at the very least, google her name, or look at her FB profile picture. but no. i have not done any of that! give me a reward! hahahahaha.

in SOME states you can get medical MJ card for anxiety. maybe even depression. actually no.

https://www.leafly.com/news/health/qualifying-conditions-for-medical-marijuana-by-state

cant tell.

anyway. GIVE ME A CHANCE. give me a chance to show that i wont get too jealous or controlling about your male friends. show me that you like me MORE than all your male friends and wont give up on me after a few weeks! and maybe i wouldnt be so goddam suspicious about womens male friends! sheeeeeeeeeeit.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2014/09/this-is-what-is-really-wrong-with-casual-sex/

 

http://www.debate.org/opinions/is-casual-sex-wrong

heh

https://www.thetrumpet.com/article/7750.24.131.0/society/the-emotional-corrosion-of-casual-sex?preview

religious source though but still very valid article hehehehe

i just want a woman who takes sex SERIOUSLY and who does NOT like casual sex! is that so much to ask? women SHOULD take sex seriously, they can get fooking pregnant! but many of them have a CASUAL attitude towards ABORTION as well!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!!!!!

and then these DISGUSTING ANIMALS go on to have successful careers, and then they have longterm rels, get married, have children, all the things i want to do!!!!!!!!1

i shouldnt have to google “why is casual sex wrong” to find the PERFECT argument so i can CONVINCE a woman not to have casual sex!!!!!!

and then everything near the top is like cosmo and jezebel and thebustle and womens magazines talking about how fun casual sex is and how all women should experiment with a casual sex phase in their 20s. have fun! sow your wild oats!

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

and when you sow degenerate wild oats…….uhhh you get degenerate wild oats years later. its NOT A GOOD THING.

maybe i would be different f i had a casual sex wild oats period and had fooked 10 women, but i havent, and so it is what it is! you dont have to LIKE it!

 

so jealous of this guy who has massive emo and abandonment issues and will never get a woman…………………………………….. BUT AT LEAST HE MAKES GREAT MONEY and he doesnt seem in danger of losing or quitting his job.

well…..actually he IS very anxious about his job, has big anxiety in general. probably GAD hahahaha.

oct 31

i just hate being put in positions where i have to CONVINCE and EXPLAIN things that are VERY confusing and that I dont understand, to frustrated people. yes, I SWEAR I cannot fix this, your manager has to fix this. so he said to call us? well he’s wrong, we can’t fix this, he has to fix this. he’s not doing his job. so you called us and we fixed it 3 months ago? hmm. do you have the case number hahahahaha. oh you dont then we cant help you. we have no record of that. no im not calling you a liar. im just saying we have no record of your call. no you cant speak to my manager. he’ll tell you the same thing. that your manager is wrong and that if your manager has any questions, he should speak to HIS manager. oh his manager said that WE have to fix this? well they’re BOTH wrong. have your managers manager speak to HIS manager. no they cant speak to my manager. NOBODY can speak to my manager! where are these policies written down? they’re NOT, because they change every day. we have no record of any policies. the policies are always changing and as of right now, the policy is that we dont fix it. no we dont have that in writing. it is what it is. you dont have to like it. you dont like it? find a new job. your customers dont like it? we dont want their money, they can find a new provider. oh thats a known issue. it will be fixed in a future software update. no timeline. hopefully soon, but cant make any promises or speculation. so your customers waiting? then ask your manager to approve a discount, or they can go somewhere else.

this kind of bullshit just both frustrates me and makes me panic. i mean what do you SAY in these difficult situations? similarly i dont want to do something where I regularly have to give really bad news. like no we are not covering this prescription for your cancer ridden mother, why, well because my manager said so, no you cant speak to them, they are unavailable. good luck watching your mother die! is there anything else i can HELP YOU WITH today?

that kind of bullshit. where i want to be straight with people but i dont have the info and i dont have the help. at those points i will gladly throw my superiors under the bus to show sympathy for the customer/caller.

also you cant say that you stayed and worked off the clock to be more efficient with your time, because no manager is going to Officially Approve of you working off the clock. because what if you hurt yourself at the workplace, but off the clock?

well then maybe they would have a legal case saying YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN THERE, so they are not gonna pay for your treatment.

but yeah, you shouldnt admit to staying off the clock to finish your work. i guess this doesnt apply to exempt salary jobs, when you are technically on the clock all your life. we dont punch a clock here.

anyway youre just telling the manager that you dont work quickly and efficiently enough, that you need extra time (ie extra money) and that you arent as good as employees that get all their work done in the time allotted. youre SLOW.

i mean still stay after you punch out and do work for free so you can suck up and try to look good, but you just cant brag about it as a way to help you get the job.

i mean i already candy coat shit and try to sell myself as some confident miracle worker who is really good at explaining confusing shit to angry customers.

you can say that when you go home you study work related material in your free time so you can do your job more efficiently. that’s less sketchy than staying around after punchout to “do extra work for free”. so i do say that i do a lot of studying on my free time.

well how do i explain that i didnt want to go to GRAD SCHOOL. you just dont simply dont want to go to grad school. should i say i applied and was rejected? then you look like a loser failure. you got rejected from grad school, why shouldnt you get rejected from jobs?

and i didnt even get rejected from grad school, i simply didnt apply, because i didnt really want to go! and also i felt that i WOULD get rejected because i didnt have enough good references or undergrad research/honors/thesis/internship experience!

ok applied to 3 jobs. no chance. 1 fedgov job (32k), 2 state jobs (34k, 39k). i mean i wish i could just bring up a list of 32k jobs, shit 26k jobs, and just apply for those. but less than half of jobs tell you what the pay is, unless its a govt job like these.

ok 4th job. local auto dealer. accounting clerk. sheeeeeeeeit.

i get more angry and hateful when i am more productive hahaha. i just hate everyone and everything. all these normie morons who can get and keep jobs but i cant. what the fook do they WANT from me? so yeah even though its good to be productive to do job apps……is it really good if i am kinda half assing them, tyring to go as fast as possible, in 14 minutes per, plug and play the right “variables”, etc, go through the motions, feel some anger, these phaggots, these sluts, these normies, i just want to make 26k a year and smoke MJ every day hahahahaha, maybe fook some 25 year old sluts, and evangelize to them to luv their race and never mudshark again.

cluster c personality disorders. including avoidant personality disorder which i probably have. heh. i remember when i was 20 i was like OH GOD i hope i dont have a personality disorder, that would REALLY suck.

yeah well i prob only had garden variety anxiety back then………NOW i have a full blown personality disorder hahahaha. all because i was too cowardly to go see a shrink at age 20.

yeah well i started seeing a shrink at age 26, maybe 25………thats not too bad eh?????

its really not, hahahaha. good for me!!! hahahaha.

the idito bitches in reddit think that MUH EDUCATIONNNNNNN is the answer to everything. as if two short years and 200 measly dollars in tuition will suddenly skyroket you from 13 an hour to 15 an hour HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

some good covers on here! but would like to hear more “covers” of stuff from his latest two ambient albums, which i think he could have spent a LITTLE more time and effort on hahahahaha to make them SOUND BETTER.

 

heheh the flipside of what happened to me. he is confused and a little upset sure but he doesnt GHOST her. he is confused and doesnt know what to do, but he doesnt want to block her from his life without any explanation.

great response:

”   ]acox1701 7 points 4 hours ago
It would probably help if you have another conversation with her- after you sort through your feelings and what you want.
A million times this.
Not responding to her at once is not a dick move, unless OP literally said nothing. It’s bound to be upsetting, but one cannot reasonably be expected to react to such a thing on zero notice.
OP, figure out your shit, and sit her down. Negotiate things. Ask her if it’s hurting her to be around you, and then trust her answer. Tell her that if she changes her mind, to let you know.
Negotiate your friendship like an international arms treaty. That sounds odd, but a lot of relationships, romantic or otherwise are based on a vast number of underlying assumptions, and this relationship has just had all of those swept away. You and she need to reestablish them, together, so that you can continue.
Important topics to bring up:
Does she expect you to return her affection? Does she want you to?
Do you want to return her affection? Would you be willing to explore it, or are you unwilling to take the risks that would entail for your current social scene?
Do you need to spend a few months separate from each other? Could you quietly communicate before events so one or the other stays home from some or all things? Can you both be respectful of the other’s occasional need to stay home, or request the other stay home? Can you both be cool about it?
You are going to want to avoid teasing, touching, or flirting with her. Make sure she knows this, and is aware that you’re trying to not cause her any inner turmoil, or false hope, or similar. She may insist that she’s OK with it. (I’d rather be teased by my crush, with no hope of it going anywhere, than to be ignored, but I’m a sad, pathetic little man)
All things on the table. Talk it out, then you can both get on with your lives.   ”

heheheh. saving that in case i ever get feelings for a friend again, so i can print that out, give it to them, and say, lets talk about THESE THINGS.

i would give the guy REDDIT GOLD if reddit was worth supporting hahahaha.

ok finally applied to 5th job, that is enough for today hahaha.

it was tricky, since problems with router again hehehe. or wireless card. have to restart computer just to get the wireless connection back. i dont know if the problem is in the wireless card or in the router. cant be determined. cant be fixed. sorry. is there anything else i can help you with today?

i dont know what to tell you, and no you cant speak to a more experienced person. no, you cant speak to the person i am getting advice from. hes not even in my office. he is scheduled to be in a chat room for the next 4 hours. also he’s never wrong, his judgement is INFALLIBLE.

yeah i admit his job is not fun either. having to stay in this chat room and give advice to the squealing piggies, the level 1s. but its better than being the level 1’s on the phone with the customers who dont know what theyre doing!

i dont know what to tell you. other than i can do nothing, i cant transfer you to someone better, and hopefully this problem goes away on its own.

heh. i never thought that going on DISABILITY would ever be a realistic thing hahahahaha.

i dont want to be disabled! i just want to work like a normie and not SNAP!!!!!!

applied for 6th job, that was a little excruciating hehehe. but it only t0ok 23 minutes with an average of 14 hehehe.

i mean its hard not to be perfectionistic, when you have to be PERFECT to have any success!

or you cant mentally check out at your job becuase your quality will slip because your job takes perfect concentration and intense skill! so you cant not have measurably bad quality when you are having a bad day! because the worse your mood is, the worse your work is, and your supervisors immediately notice that you are not longer performing at the minimum!!!!

how do you GET AWAY with half assing your work, in other words?

 

oh this BEAUTIFUL young man! he is in college and everyone is having casual sex, but he is not interested, he thinks sex is something SPECIAL!!!!!!!!

OH YOURE ADORABLE.

the sad thing is that there ARE wimmin in uni that really DO want a rel, and DONT like casual secs. and i totally fooked it up and didnt TRY hard enough to find them !!!!!!!

applied for unheard of 7th job. at a fairly well known company. choice employer, like top tier shit that i have no chance of getting an interview. so why even apply. waste 13 minutes applying. well maybe 30 minutes and i could have tailored the shit REAL nice. but i didnt.

i mean underachieving losers dont get jobs at GOOD companies, they get jobs at BAD companies, if they get jobs at all.

might go to fatness club today for first time in months.

 

well this is kinda a big deal, the first release from deathspell omega in 4 years. kewl cover tho bro. hopefully its not all wankish spaghetti and jerking off hahahahahah. hasjarl decides he’s tired of making 200k a year with his donald trump real estate business, and probably having rels with solid 8/10’s, to make music like its 2005 again hahahahaha.  i have not listened to this yet, yeah i will give it a proper listen i guess. i mean why not. i like mikko aspa hahahahahaha. synarchy of molten bones, what does that even MEAN. i bet they just have a damn drum machine. there is no mystique hahahahaha. [citation needed hahahaha]

im just jelly that hasjarl can make good money at a normie job. i am jelly of any musician who does that. you get to be successful at work OR music, not BOTH. pick one AND ONLY ONE.

like these stupid musicians that get phds, or they have good jobs. i bet thats the reason dso never tours, is that he’s got a good job but its not so good that he can get weeks off at a time to play shows.

no i really have no idea. i do hope the album isnt a goddamn noisy overtechnical mess hahahahaha. how about some riffs and and melodies and not 600000000000000000 wanky bits slapped together. i thought that stuff was kewl when i was 25 hahahahaha but not anymore. so write riffs like you were 20 years old again, mannnnnn. and let mikko turn you into a nationalist. and let me make mikko into a HUHWHYTE nationalist hahahahaha.

no that really is a pretty good cover art tho.

but satan satan satan oooh orthodox esoteric satanism whoooooooo spoooooopy hahahahaha. who cares. he knows his shtick has gotten old hahahahahaha.

no i dont know why i am such an asshole to him hahahaha. prob just jelly. that he’s a normie nonvirgin nonnevergf AND he makes very influential music and he can get mikko to hang out with him. actually i BET mikko just stays in finland and records his vocals in his own “studio” and sends them to DSO aka “hasjarl.”

I DONT TRUST ANYONE WHOS NOT A NEVERGF. THESE NONNEVERGF NORMIES!!!!!!!!

I HATE NONVIRGINS AND NONNEVERGFS hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

and EVERYONE is either a nonnevergf or especially a nonvirgin!

well technically even I am a nonvirgin hahahaha. so i got that going for me hahaha.

6 jobs in 1 day, havent applied to a job in 10 days hahahaha. although i did have 3 interviews in that time, MOTHER FOOKER hahahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeit found rare ass FT job at big local employer. they have like 3 FT jobs a year, a ridic low number considering the number of employees and customers. used to work an easy job here for years. would LOVE to get another easy PT job just as kinda training wheels for me right now…….but i cant even get a PT job there yet. interviewed for  3 PT jobs there, turned down each time, have 4th pt job interview there this week. getting FT job there would be RIDICULOUS. to think i had a bigass chance at that TWO YEARS AGO. i remember talking about it with that woman. she said ohhh i really hope you get it. i really wanted to get it too!

took half dose of nyquil.

so, 8 jobs today. that is ridic damn good. not my highest ever but close. certainly a relative high, because i am lucky to get 4 done on one day. and havent done ONE in TEN days hehehehe. like a lazy NGR hahahahaha.

but yeah the job was open for like 2 weeks and it closes in 2 days and i was frustrated because this was the first i was seeing it because there is no way to get damn email alerts for these jobs. you either check the companies jobs sites or YOUR SCREWED. these jobs do NOT show up on indeed. ive set up indeed alerts for this company and get NOTHING.

well i bet they do that intentionally, to not get 9000000000000000000000000000000000000 applicants. not like you need the best of the best to do this 33k job. but i see that and i am like THIS IS PERFECT, get instant hardon. get a WAY bigger hardon for a 33k job than a 34k, 35k, or 40k job. closer to 26k, the better of a chance i have!

so yeah i applied for that the instant i saw it.

also cannot find the job on careerbuilder OR monster. ONLY the goddam company website itself.

heh. this is EXACTLY the type of job they would promise to some pt slob on the inside, but they HAVE To post it because rules. well….i shouldnt say pt slob, becuase the the pt slob deserves this job.

but i am a little butthurt that i worked there pt for FIVE YEARS and couldnt get an FT job there. just because i was an idiot who didnt PUSH hard enough.

and then when i PUSHED with that woman, i totally blew that.

i just dont know when to push and when not to push!

well shit. if i got another pt job there, i would PUSH alot harder! but getting a pt job there is not easy either!

weird thing is, i would get emails about jobs when i was a pt there………..but i dont remember many ft jobs that werent on the website. which was like 2 a year hahahaha.

so i shoulda PUSHED the HR department, and been like, put me on The List. Get me in The Pool. talk to my manager if you need approval.

they dont want to have alerts for their jobs, because that means more resumes to read!!!!!!!

and you are gonna find a good enough candidate whether you read 100 resumes or 1000. so that the Marginal value of reading one more resume drastically drops off after like # 100. what is that number? might even be #70 hahaha.

i tell you its NOT 1000!!!!!!!!

closer to 100 than it is to 1000!!!!!!

i mean this org does not have a ton of employees from muh university…..because the assholes from muh university go to much more presitigous places and wouldnt be caught dead working here!!!!

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN

oct 5 2016

sheeeeeeit.

ok. got up and prepared for day like responsible man: shower, shave, breakfast, brush and floss, tied tie, now i am just waiting until i leave in 53 minutes to drive to interview starting at 2pm.

tell them at interview today that if it get the job at the “bank” uhhhh i have to take it. that is the one with int on upcoming tues that i am all excited about hehe. i mean it is a patently better job, better pay, prob better benefits, closer, i’d be an idiot not to. any non-failing business would agree with me hehehe.

leave for interview in 13 minutes. all dressed up atm. ready to go. try not to diaerrhoea.

shirt is def too big. pants are….not too small but they are “slim fit” unfort, so they will ALWAYS feel a little weird. i honestly could not find an ok looking blue suit that was not slim fit. it was the price i had to pay.

yeah just the idea that you need 100% accuracy and no errors, the job is, this NEEDS to be PERFECT, not 99.9%, but 100%, every time, your job is to make sure its PERFECT. ok i get that. but what i dont get is that asking a more experienced person to SIGN OFF on this is considered time wasting and hand holding and youre fired. NO. it should be Best Practices and Standard Operating Procedure to have a “Team Lead” Sign Off on your work.

oh golly gee i dont know what im doing but i hope its right because our paying client needs this airplane door to be 100% or else it will fly off at 140000 feet and 500 passengers will get sucked out the door to their deaths hahahaha.

or this bridge will fall apart and 1000 people will die and its on YOUR hands, lowly level 1 guy, not the Master Engineer who YOU thought “should” “sign off” on such an important project. no hes got better things to do like get drunk at lunch and look at Prep The Bull and Trap Porn on his work computer and make 4 times as much as you.

later

welp did my interview. it was kinda ridiculous but not in a horrible way. mainly the guy double booked his interviews for 2 people at the same time, there was a white man also dressed in a nice suit, but he seemed about 5 years older than me.  but healthy and regenerate looking hahaha. very healthy weight. anyway this other manager decided he would essentially do the interview with me, so i started talking to him, he was an all right guy, but then it was like ok lets see if the original manager is ready to talk to you now. so i ultimately talked to TWO managers one after the other and the whole thing took like 1 hour 40 minutes. thankfully both guys were nice and the company and job actually seemed all right EXCEPT there is a kind of sales/incentive pay structure, but there is a damn 13 week training program and starting at 17 dollars an hour at that time, so…..thats pretty good. the guy said the guys here were very “BLUE COLLAR” and i said thats great, I come from a blue collar family and have a Thick Skin to handle Bantz and F-Bombs hahahahaha.

i said all the right marketing bullshit about the companys culture and values and bla bla bla.

there were some times when i stumbled and sounded like an autist, similarly to how i did yesterday, but just like the person yesterday, they didnt jump on me for it or even seem to care. so i spilled the spaghetti a couple times, NO BIG DEAL. and that is ultimately pretty encouraging.

there was a sales office right there and they are hiring sales people too. i said my background was more geared towards Service Technician than Sales per se, although I DO have very good Communication and People skills and like to Educate people hahhahahahahaha.

but they also emphasized they are an Ethical company and do not try to sell people things they dont need. Which could be BS, but I said, Good, because I’m a very ethical guy and I wouldn’t want to sell people things they really don’t need. which is NOT BS!!!!!!!

well i have been so busy interviewing i missed the deadline for a few jobs to apply hehe. have to keep a PIPELINE going hahahahahahaha.

one thing i did like about the job today was that they had a lot of training. a LOT of training. 13 weeks. they said a lot of guys were confident at 8 weeks and said let me get out there, the the company wanted to err on the side of caution. and make sure people passed tests and got certified for jobs where certification was not Legally Mandatory.

now they could just be bullshitting to sell the job to me…..but its pretty good bullshit! shit yeah tell me more about how you make sure your people are fully trained.

since it does get into incentive based shit after training, i asked if any of the people really struggled with that. the manager said everyone is doing well and reaching goals. and these are salty technicians and not born smooth talking salesmen.

anyway i hate the idea that a woman will dump you as soon as you stop showing strength. that she can need you but GOD FORBID you ever need HER. is this really the way women are and i just have to accept it? I accept that men are stronger emotionally and physically and mentally than women and that men have to do MOST of the work……but I don’t think women cant be capable of doing any work at all. so you have to support her always, and she supports you NEVER? thats fookin gay.

yeah well she never gave up and walked out when her longterm boifran was freezing HER out. but im not sure he was being “WEAK” though. he was being strong but silent hahahaha. well, he might not have been being “STRONG” but he wasnt being WEAK either. he was jsut distant and cold and stubborn. but she made a real effort with him at least.

so yeah she was capable. jsut not with me. because i was weak hahahaha.

i just HATE the idea that you have to be PERFECT or else they LEAVE.

but thats clearly not true! her BF wasnt perfect and she gave him MORE than a fair chance! many women stay with men who are VERY not perfect!

yeah but these men present as strong, and not at all as weak. they dont get nervous or anxious. they might get ANGRY at the women always wanting to TALK and DO STUFF and FIX stuff. but the men are not freaking out like a hysterical WOMAN.

oct 6

 

classic album here, if you dont like this album, gtfo. train your 3dpd fat slob to like this album as you bang her hahahahaha.

as a lifelong fan of srs metal, i have learned the important and mature lesson than women who like metal = crazy = bad (im talking about like serious fans of black or death metal, not they like a few random hit metal songs by metallica or pantera or slayer or motorhead or iron maiden or something, that should be fine).

but yeah a woman that likes the CURE, i would still be pretty impressed by that. even though im old enough to KNOW BETTER about being IMPRESSED by a womans MUSICAL TASTE. its a traaaappp.

i dont even think robert smith is as big a degenerate as most musicians, well, assuming from the fact that he’s been married to the same woman for like 40 years.

never saw the cure live and they are one of the few on muh live concert bucket list. note to self, if i have feelings for a woman, do NOT take that woman to the cure concert, because i wont be able to remember that as a good memory when she dumps me and breaks my heart hahaha. go with a male friend or alone.

yeah hard to go wrong with the cure. it is smooth and chill, and beautiful, and melodic, romantic, catchy, and also sad and emo, and spine chilling, and this album is probably their best moment. the Lush Beauty of “pictures of you” to the super catchy hard rocking of “fascination street” and of course their biggest hit “lovesong” which is a great song. i mean its impossible not to like and RESPECT this album. for any fan of music. if you dislike this album YOUR JUST STUPID.

yeah i guess if youre a total hipster you could say its too mainstream and overplayed. its def mainstream but is it REALLY overplayed? are these REALLY boring songs? these are timeless, classic songs that are played a lot for a REASON.

it IS a little LONG though at 63 minutes, where 40 minutes is the ideal album length.

working class men on Worksites listen to MUSIC all day as they do their hard work. i think this is very significant and worth some thought. if you are listening to music, it is harder to PANIC and be ANXIOUS and NERVOUS, and ALSO it means you are CONSTANTLY TALKING and thinking on your feet to come up with Bullshit Explanations for both your supervisors and your customers. that is EXHAUSTING. its like CAMPAIGNING for president and you have to talk and bullshit all day. i could NEVER do that, i dont know where trump gets his ENERGY, but its safe to say he’s always been that way, and some people just ARE.

heheh i forgot about the 311 cover of lovesong. that is tbh pretty darn good fam hahahaha. pretty secsy for blowing out your bitches asshole hahahahaha. because they LIKE being treated like Jooish Pornographic Filth. Absolutely Disgusting. BELIEVE ME, I would rather treat them as Fragile Flowers, because I HATE Jooish Pornographic Filth. Hate that Disgusting SHit that has RUINED Women And Men. words cannot describe the HATE. i dont hate nonwhites, i might not even hate joos, but by god i HATE the disgusting filth that joos have created! I hate the evil they have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny that the cure has an album called “pornography.” as an old man, this to me is AWESOME because that is an INCREDIBLY dark, despairing, nihilistic album, and I think this terrible feel perfectly captures the actual real essence of pornography. it is not secsy or hot and all. it is empty and despairing and nihilistic and soulless and horrible. i’m not sure if thats what robert (first name basis hahahaha) was getting at, but i like to think he was hahahahaha.

and yeah “pictures of you” is a CLASSIC FOR A REASON!!!!! and perfectly captures Lost Love and Heartbreak and Regret and embodies what i have felt for the past 14 months hahahahahahaha. thankfully i can enjoy the song on its own merits as a way to express a personal emotion that was unshared with her, hahahaha. meaning, im glad i never cuddled or buttfooked her while listening to THE CURE or this album, because then it would actually REMIND me of her, rather than help me Get Over Muh Emotions ABOUT her. in other words, the cure is MY thing and not HER thing, definitely not OUR thing. well she probably likes a few cure songs but we never shared any cure moments, thank god.

NEVER share things with women hahahahaha cuz then you cant enjoy your favorite music and movies when they break your heart and leave you. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR FAVORITE THINGS FOR YOU. i mean thank god i can still listen to neil young, but it took a while! TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah i mean you get over it, but it sucked that i couldnt even listen to one of muh favorite music guys for months!!!!!!!!!!!!

want to get out of house before noon today (oh god that sounds so lazy and negrish!!!!!!) and do some errands

also prep for autist aba job interview tommorow

AND apply for 3 jobs because i think about 3 decent jobs are gonna “expire” by tommorow

AND get good powerwalk

AND get 14 pushups

AND eat less than 1200 calories because i went like EIGHT HUNDRED OVER yesterday, oy vey.

uhhhh 14 pushups is a good baby step, but all together that is a lot of baby steps hahahaha.

ok went to store

ok called the interview place and stalked the woman who will be interviewing me, she was supposed to email me 2 days ago but it never went thru because she typed my hard to spell email wrong.

i called her and aksed for her hard to spell email and successfully sent a message to her hahahaha. thankfully she does not have a masters degree and seems like a nice person from the stalking i did.

ok got the shit printed out, hehhehe if you have to print out 10 pages of shit for every interview, thats 250 pages hahahaha. i have already bought 2 black ink cartridges and am burning thru the 3rd one pretty quickly. so stupid.

not going to get a ton of sleep tonight, might blank out and do a gary johnson aleppo moment tomorrow. that really looks bad. well if he can get to be governor, i can get a 12 dollar an hour autism technician job.

uhhhh applied to 2 jobs today but not 3. prepared my info sheet for tomorrow.

this org clearly has a problem with people not sticking around. prob because they quickly find better paying jobs. and they cant afford to pay them more because they are a nonprofit org. so they are angry about people getting valuable autism training and then leaving before 10 months. but i……

i dunno i just hate being in a job and saying OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING I CANT HANDLE THIS JOB OH GOD WHAT DO I DO OH GOD THIS IS RIDICULOUS WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS JOB OH YEAH BECAUSE THEY CANT FIND PEOPLE WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS WITHOUT QUITTING!!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THESE PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEEEEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY TO THEM I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOOOOOOOOOOOING HOW CAN YOU PUT ME OUT HERE IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also worry that the “workplace safety” job will do regular drug tests because you drive a company van. oh god i cant drive a large van!!!!!!! what if the van breaks down!!!!!!

i think this autism job would be more fun and i would enjoy it more and also be able to SURVIVE and WITHSTAND it better, because it is part time and because it is sort of in muh wheelhouse. well i am more conflicting about wanting the autism job vs the safety job, however in the autism vs the bank job, i def want the bank job!!!!!

hehehehe this is assuming i get offers from both jobs in these situations. VERY big assumptions!!!!!

does that mean i had a good feeling abotu the saftey job? kind of!

and i have kinda a good feeling about getting the autism job.

REALLY? I have been REJECTED for ELEVEN dollar an hour part time jobs recently, what reason do i have to be optimistic about a TWELVE DAH PT job? hahahahaha. well because my degree actually relates to this job, sort of, where it doesnt relate to “office administrative assistant” job. which is stupid. i mean the better degree for that would be business. even if i have 30 credits of business classes. doesnt matter i guess hahaha.

shit they might reject me because ive never worked with CHILDREN before. let alone autist children haha.

i wish you could negotiate training wages. meaning i would gladly accept minimum wage for the first month or however long it took for me to be rejected from the other 2 jobs i am in contention for. so if i got one of those jobs, the autism place wouldnt lose too much money training me. cuz its a decent org and i might want to reapply with them in a few years. for one of their FT jobs that dont exist, yeah sure hahahaha.

oct 7 firday

752 AM

up real early today, like a real working man, currently dressed up and ready to go to interview, did not prep so well. as predicted, did not sleep well. well i was up thinking until like 130 am. thankfully i did fall asleep and I was in the middle of an interesting dream that i was scheduled to be part of the death panel on the next daily shoah with k1ke enoch and “sven” and i was like iii dunno guys, what the hell am I gonna be able to add to this, im gonna sound like an idiot, but im honored you asked me, i really like TRS hahahahaha. this is probably muh first TRS related DREAM hahahahaha. much better than having dreams about you know WHO hahaha.

ok. like i say, its a tough call between autism job vs safety job. for a normie, no its not, the safety job BTFOs the autism because it pays more, more hours, FT, established company, health care, bennies etc.

12 pm

welp did the interview, sent thank you note, recorded it as 95 minutes. spent an hour in there, but onyl about 30 minutes talking to them, and like 20 minutes filling out a damn application by hand which was basically a copy of all the shit i already gave them. i will never understand these stupid hiring policies. filling out shit by hand. unbelievable. told them about muh desire for FT. they were very understanding. talked to a Masters Level Psychologist who is about 7 years younger than me, oy vey hahahahaha.

there might be young 3 year old children biting and smacking and pooping their pants and i have to put diapers on them. i think i would rather do this than answer phone calls hahahahaha.

i dont fookin know man i just want a job where i can get help if i need it and i am not constantly needing it and not constantly fighting and struggling to survive every day. good god. the type of exhausting, nervous struggle where you feel like you need to chug Whiskey straight from the bottle at the end of every day.

hehehe normal life is at least 2 to 3 times HARDER for me than for normies. not that normies have it easy! but the basics of Holding Down a Job and Banging A Bitch, those are at LEAST 3 times harder for me. lots of fear and failure hehehehe. lots of time wasted. lots of not getting anywhere.

on the degen show “better things” which im not sure why i am watching, well because i want to see a degen single mother raising degen girls, its really all about degen women, and is kinda like “GIRLS” in that regard. no husbands or fathers, mothers a whore, her oldest daughter is 16 and beautiful and is becoming a whore, the middle daughter is an autistic ocd 13 year old lesbian, so i guess all that is enough to sell me.

recent episode focused on the 16 year old daughter worried about her future, going to college and all that, what am i gonna do with my life, her high school guidance counselor says no ivy league for you, you shoulda started prepping for that a few years ago, might not have the grades for a good state shool, have you thought about community college?

now the red pill is that community college is awesome but it DOES have a reputation as for underachieving losers, so when you’re in high school, you shudder at the thought. then when 10 years later youre still a huge loser, you think, welp, i have been humbled, time to go to CC now that real University did not work out.

anyway the girl is very anxious and despairing and I totally related and found this storyline very compelling. i guess she smokes MJ and does not get 4.0 grades. dont know if she is a huge horrible slut. PROBABLY, knowing this degen show.

because they show the girl sitting with her degen mom and the degen moms friends all sitting around drinking and talking about ABORTIONS, like how many abotions you got, tell the story of that abortion, and i was like, they are trying WAY too hard to make this show edgy, and what EXACTLY are they trying to say? they were clearly trying to be provocative by having such a “FRANK” discussion of abortions while CHILDREN were amongst them, as if to say, this is NORMAL, this is not a big deal, we all have abortions, and you’ll get abortions too, its just a fact of life, rite of passage for a woman, dont be ashamed of this, its good to be pro choice, and if you get knocked up when you are having fun with Secsy Boys, you can and should totes get an abortion too.

so i felt sympathy for this poor girl just about to become a Woman, and that she was so FOOKED because her mother is such a damn baby murdering degenerate. so the beautiful 16 year old gurl is gonna become a slut REAL soon if she isnt already, prob lose V to badboi, then quickly start riding C carousel, throwing a bunch of betabois away, probably start cheating, not take secs seriously, not take human life seriously, the way she THROWS LIVES AWAY, develop 10000 C stare, never be able to have a serious rel with a man, just like her crazy whore mother who cant love a man either.  but is this “beautifully flawed” woman trying to raise 3 young daughters as a Single Working Mom who is very open about Secs and Abortions and Being Tuff and You Do You Grrrrrl.

and its NORMAL to be a slut and cheat and break hearts and throw people away and get abortions, sex is FUN FIRST and if you get preggers, no big deal, get an abortion, WEVE ALL DONE IT. and sometimes you just wanna get fooked, and if the guy is a sensitive virgin type an gets feelings, AW, TOO BAD SO SAD, its ok to Dump and Ghost him because you just wanted to Get Off.

and we are beautiful in our flaws and we are gonna be as flawed as possible.

and i like the show for confronting Real Shit, but i hate it for taking the wrong opinion on this shit. while at the same time having some good and sympathetic characters. i mean i dont even really hate the mom. but i should.

to make her daughter feel better, the mother took her to the store and made her dress in a Ladies Business Suit, and said there you are, you look just like those successful peopel who have their shit together, youre no different than them. it was actually sort of touching even though she should not be so worried about career and shit. she should have a good father who helps her find a good husband.

i mean the show could have pushed more Red Pills about You Dont Have To Go To College. Go To Trade School or Community College or Military.

so they talk to a bank teller and mom says do you have any college, teller says no just a GED and i started this job at age 22 and im 25 now.

this could have opened a real good conversation but they just left it there.

so do you portray the bank teller as a failure because they didnt go to college? no not at all, which i liked.

i would have liked more if they had a 30 year old with a masters degree living with his family because he is still trying to pay back 200k in student loans hahahaha and he’s done, he’s finished, given up on life, i’ll never get anyway, i wish i could have a family but i’ll never afford it, and i havent dated a woman in over 5 years hahahahaha. that would have been some great black pill shit.

basically, college educated 30 year olds who cant afford to move out hahahaha because they are only making 12 dollars an hour and are 80k in debt for useless college hahahaha.

tfw when you see a picture of FENRIZ when he was very young, like 20 or 21 or so, and realize he sort of reminds you of THAT WOMAN.

I was completely in luv and wanted to marry and have babies and spend muh life with and was devastated heartbroken for 15 months over a woman who looks like FENRIZ.

fenriz is currently 44 years old as is nocturno culto. culto has 2 children a son and a daughter. i do not think fenriz has any children. not sure how old cultos children are. i hope he is a good father to them.

but yeah there are like 2 pictures of 20 year old fenriz where he kinda looks like That Woman. so weird. i told you she was kidna weird looking hahahahaha. but like fenriz, she had nice long dark hair.

so darkthrone was offered 200k USD to play a festival for one show and they REFUSED. hell yes that shows some serious “INTEGRITY” but at the same time i have to think, you’d have to be stupid to turn that down!

Should a man with CHILDREN turn down 200k for 1 day of work just because of his artistic integrity?

basically I give them a PASS, and I think its kinda STUPID for a man with a FAMILY to turn that money down. even if you dont have a family, you still need money. maybe fenriz has bastard children he needs to pay child support. (speculation). maybe fenriz wants to take care of his aging parents. TAKE THE FOOKIN MONEY GUIZE.

heh. most people just like the music and dont really care about the people behind it.

I dont really care for the music and i am MORE interested in the PEOPLE behind it hahahaha.

i mean the story of these guys lives is WAY more interesting than listening to “plaguewielder” or “the cult is alive” hehehehehehehehe.

i say this because i am sort of excited about darkthrone again due to their brand new album which I am going to listen to today on powerwalk hehehe.

did 3.2 mile, 1 hour powerwalk, my normal walking pace is 3.2 mph and i am happy with that.

listened to new darkthrone album. it has great sound/production and is perfect length and it is not all ridiculous, but uhhh i was hoping it would be a little…..better hehehehe. i mean its no panzerfaust. i mean you can tell they are both enjoying themselves, theyre not just going through the motions, so i think a large part of the prob is me simply not being able to appreciate “new” music.

its hard to get the interest of women when you MAKE LESS THAN THEM. of course im talking about money. basically the only people that I make MORE than are total white trash and negroes hahahahaha. at least when i was making 30k, i was then good enough to pull white trash waitresses and such hahahahaha. and that was the best money i ever made in my life! when i was making like 12k a year, i was staying sane but what the HELL can you do on 12k a year? cant live, cant have a family, cant do anything. cant have a serious rel with a woman. i guess you could bang sluts because you sure arent gonna KEEP any women making only 12k!

wow she dumped him SUPER BAD, super insult to injury there. why do people do this? why do you HAVE to add insult to injury? i mean if i were this guy i would be devastated, my confidence would be CRUSHED for at least 15 months hahahahaha. this type of thing will DESTROY a guys confidence for a LONG time.

also when someone throws you away, people advise you, they dont know what they had, in 2 months they will miss you and be begging for you back. dont take them back. be better than that. they took you for granted the first time. dont give them that second chance.

and that def never happened here. she left me and NEVER looked back. feels bad man! that might even be worse. i wuld def forgive and take her back once. and if she pulled the same shit twice (like they often do) then i would kick her ass out (probably not hahahahaha). but she didnt even come back.

but i am doing my interviews so thats as good as i can ask. i have done about 36 hours of interviews roughly. i guess it would make sense to do 40 hours of interviews. maybe what the lord is teaching me is how to get good at interviews. thats the lesson for this 15 months of pain. how to do interviews. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

but if i dont have an interview for a week, then i feel like i lose all those gains. and i need to have at least 2 or 3 interviews a week to get better. kinda like lifting hehehehe.

heh 330 pm and could totes take a nap. cuz i got up at 615am and did not fall asleep till 1 am.

 

super lengthy autistic post but an in depth picture of someone who actually DOES go to a shrink, and both people are willing to go to shrink, and it doesnt really improve things hehehehe. she still blames him.

but yeah he does seem too damn autistic and that is probably a problem.

also yeah she probably IS “depressed” but she should get that diagnosed well before 28. I sure did! because i was trying to improve myself so i could live a normal life with a job and a GF one day.

and good on this guy for improving himself from a fat virgin to an in shape, masters degree, successful, hardworking, guy with a GF. but he is still anal and autistic in a way that will hurt the rel, just as she hurts the rel with her “depression” and lack of interest and effort.

this album is regarded as DT coming back from a perhaps 3-album slump from 1996 to 2003 hahaha. fenriz said he was very derpressed and i guess was feeling better by the time of this album. and he was thankful to culto for essentially keeping the band alive during that time.

anyway i remember i actually bought the “plaguewielder” cd (used) back when cds were still a thing. i was like uhhhh this is not the greatest. and that was pretty much the end of darkthrone for me hahahaha and i never gave “hate them” a chance. i did give “sardonic wrath” a try and actually kinda liked that one. that came out following hate them.

anyway just trying to say i prefer this kind of vocal from culto. the hateful trve black metal vocal rather than the more i guess celtic frost vocal he’s doing now. which is not bad mind you, but the older vocal is better.

i mean there is no competition hehehe. however “boring” darkthrone may be, culto gives a Master Class in how to do good vocals.

62.9% labor force participation rate? that cant be good, unless labor force counts super old and super young people….which it probably shouldnt! and honestly i dont think it does. labor force is work age people. like 18 to 65 or whatever.

oh you know what i am not even gonna shit on plaguewielder anymore. it has shitty artwork but it sounds pretty similar to hate them with the riffage and sick vocals. also culto thanks tom waits on his short list of inspirations and shoutouts. in 2001 before i even knew who tom waits was unfortuantely. did not discover waits until 2003 or 4 at the latest.

also there are “blast beats” on these albums where i haven’t heard them on the newer albums. come on. you gotta have that.

trump scandal of him using “vulgar language about women.”

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN!!!!

crude comments in 2005 interview about tits and pussy and whatever. who cares.

well, i kinda care if he is cheating on his wife, but not sure if he was married to her by then.

cuz its not cool to cheat on your wife but he has dealt with his fair share of gold diggers so.

i mean this is fooking stupid and i hope it doesnt COST HIM the election just because WOMEN will be so butthurt. and women shouldnt even be able to vote hehehehehe. but people have short memories too.

even the circle wagons album does not sound BAD. it is quite rocking as a matter of fact.

lesson: even the “worst” darkthrone albums are pretty good.

i would have preffered that he make super racist comments about mudslims or blacks or especially joos. that would be SWEET. BUT, that definitely would have killed his chances 100%, and that would NOT be good.

i like that he didnt apologize THAT much. hes not begging for forgiveness, and kinda saying this is not a big deal. cuz its really not. but i really dont know how real women will take it. i know that msnbc is up in arms hahahaha.

why not criticize the hollywood host billy bush for being an enthusiastic participant in the conversation.

QUOTE

It’s foolish to take the Blackpill with regards to women. It makes you settle for low quality sluts and degenerates. Do you want them to be the mother of your children?

I was in a bad place in 2011. I was dating a used-up slut whom I had nothing in common with. I was struggling to finish school and leave the comfy world of NEETdom. I had gotten into reading ‘The Red Pill’ and that middle eastern rapist Roosh, and my opinion of women was extremely low. Thus, my expectations from women were low.

This girl was a degenerate waste. She was pretty enough, but was a complete slob, and nearing the end of her 20s. I knew she had dated around, but the extent of the rot was what really got to me. The day I left her was when I attended a ‘party’ with some of her friends, only to discover she had f00cked literally 8 of the men at the party. Her total number was somewhere around 35ish men. One of which included a ni99er. Disgusting. I drove off, deleted her from Facebook and Skype, and washed my hands of her.

I was lucky to get out of that mess with no STIs. I pulled myself out of this depression and blackpill by lifting and travelling, and completely tossed out the ReturnOfKangz/rOOSH shit. Some of the techniques are useful, and yes, 90% of women are somewhere on the whore spectrum, but 10% of girls is still a HUGE amount of people.

On one of my trips, after a year of lifting and healthy eating, I met a complete QT3.14, 10/10. She was introverted, shy, but extremely moral. She was 6 years younger than me, intelligent, had a similar genetic background, and was a fucking virgin.

Married her 2 years into the relationship and it has only gotten better.

Lift, have confidence in your self, resist the blackpill, and you will find extremely high quality women waiting for you to wife them. Let the f4ggot numales clean up the algae of used up whores. WILL TO POWER BRAH

END

i am risking getting banned for posting private forum material here, but uhhhh i wont say what forum i got it from, nor who said it, but i am trying to share an awesome WHITE PILL here: a neetish man was dating a dirty slut, then he turned his life around and married a nice virgin waifu. GOOD FOR HIM. this is EXACTLY the stuff I need to read a LOT more of…..but i’m not finding a lot of it. not enough.

nyquil and coffee combination hehehe. again went way over calorie limit. soooooo easy to eat over 1200 cals.

yeah why shouldnt i link this already.

this and TH are muh fav DT albums. and this one is more “fun.” not sure why the vocals are considered controversial. i think they are great although perhaps mixed a little loudly. the riffs, songwriting, and production are all top of the line, and there is a ton of nostalgia with this album, as it was a big part of muh adolescence at age 18 or so. this is a pretty kewl album to have as your theme music at age 18 hahahahahahahaha.

“quintessence”, come on. probably the darkthrone stairway to heaven right there.

but yeah. a lot of people are interested in things they dont really participate in. politics, professional sports, tv shows, religion. but no one is interested in “relationships” as like a main interest they way I am, apart from WOMEN who are always GOSSIPING. I truly do like to gossip, but I like even more to study and understand the relationships.

its like watching from the sidelines and commenting but never participating. but thats the thing: is that normies DO participate, quite regularly, and dont really comment on it at the same level as I do, just gossip, say whos fooking who, whos dumping who.

and even people who are obsessed with sportsball and watch pro sportsball but are too fat and soft to actually play pro sportsball still often play amateur sportsball or fantasy sportsball.

i dont play Fantasy Relships, although maybe in a way I do: by having these one sided things where I have the relship all in my mind and it does not reflect reality at all.

nyquil makes me unable to think clearly and articulate and be persuasive. still i wish i just had some MJ, i would LUV to smoke a bunch of MJ on a friday night like this and listen to DARKTHRONE.

“the hordes of nebulah”. i used to think this song wasnt as good as the 2 before it, now i see i was wrong hahahahaha. truly a MAGIC album and i wouldnt EXPECT darkthrone to ever capture this kind of lightning in a bottle quite the same way ever again. you cant. again a large part of this was my own age at the time. but this is gonna be one of those albums that i enjoy thru my entire life hahaha. share with muh waifu and children and they will say damn what a badass!

anyway it is just “funny” and mostly sad that i spend all this time and energy and interest thinking about and analyzing Relationships, general and particular, myself and my fantasy rels, others and my perceptions of their real rels, and i think i have the tools and skills and knowledge to be real mature and good in a rel…..but my weakness is the BEGINNING. I cant get it STARTED for various reasons. cant spark the kindling and get the fire going ever.

large part of that is because i am scared to “apply”. at least with jobs i am putting out 450 applications, doing 23 interviews. if i were doing that with WOMEN, i WOULD have been in a real rel by now, or at least had a near normie level of secsual satisfaction. or, hopefully, i would say THIS IS DEGENERATE, I’m not gonna do this unless its in a real rel with a decent woman, fook this banging sluts shit, leave it to the degenerate hedonist nihilist abortionists.

fenriz did recycle the classic “quintessence” riff on his storm “nordavind” album which was recorded in late 1994 while panzerfaust was recorded in early 1994 hehehe.

they got the qt gurl kari rueslatten to sing on the album (from 3rd and the mortal, really need to dig into them more) and supposedly she was very upset and felt betrayed by fenriz because he changed a lyric at the last minute to say something like “death to every man who does not hail the fatherland!” which she felt was ebil racist. and i bet fenriz is not a racist. shit i wish he WAS. he SHOULD be. and poor kari felt horrible guilt after that and betrayed by ebil fenriz. hahahahaha i wonder if he fooked her. the dirty slut hahaha. see this ALL comes from the root cause of my degen pornographic view of women as sluts to be fooked. this is from watching way too much pron, so shame on me. but also shame on women for willingly BEING like that. they dont have to BE sluts, even if the girls in porno are.

and because kari was a beautiful young norwegian gurl with beautiful long hair, i dont WANT her to be a slut.

i want to read more stories of women who are DIVORCING or DUMPING their men because oh god hes a TRUMP SUPPORTER. but r/relships does not allow overtly political topics.

i would think being married and especially with children makes women less leftist catladylike. so they will say oh yeah trump is crude but oh well hes still better than hillary so im still voting for him.

whereas its the C carousel sluts and catladies who will be most offended, and they werent voting for trump ANYWAY.

in other words, its not gonna lose him any votes. its not gonna make anyone who has already chosen trump, say, oh NOW he’s gone too far, and i am changing my vote to HILLARY? i cant imagine him honestly doing any of that. even if he said GTKRWN 1488, which i would luv, people would still say, yeah im still not voting for hillary.

however it will make the hillary people all the more SHRILL and ANNOYING and that might push undecideds towards trump.

undecideds tho? and couldnt this push undecideds to hillary? sure.

BUT HOW MANY UNDECIDEDS ARE THERE REALLY?????

not very many imho. i play it down because i hang out with people who would be MORTIFIED that they have even ONE trump supporter in their friend circle. so i say stuff, ah well, its a classic lesser of two evils thing, i dont really like either of them, but im really dont like hillary, yes i agree with you trump is not super presidential but im a moderate centrist and hillary is just too left for me, so, i have to vote for trump. that kind of waffling shit. actually i wouldnt even confirm i was voting for trump unless i was with some trump voters. thankfully i know a few.

7000 words? damn.

but yeah its funny. i analyze and think about rels like An Interest Or Hobby but never actually participate, when most NORMIES DO participate and dont analyze them to the same level, its just a normal part of normal life, dont overthink it, its not something interesting like football or tv hahahaha.

well to me it is!!!!!!!!

and women arent much better than men. they gossip a lot more about rels but are even WORSE at analysing, understanding, and workign with them. men could at least have a good chance at reasoning their way through them if they tried.

but you cant REASON with women. its like REASONING with a drunk 50 foot baby with a flamethrower. REASONING with a damn tasmanian devil. you cant reason somebody out of something that they didnt reason themselves into, hahahahaha.

.045 BATTING AVERAGE

sept 26

heh. ok took some nyquil. did a 3.6 mile powerwalk. now a chili diet is GREAT because you feel very full and its really not a lot of calories, so you could easily lose weight eating only chili. beef and beans.  but it hits your stomach like a brick and puts you in a coma and you feel like you always have to Poop even if youre not actually pooping. and then wake up in the middle of the night and poop hhahahaha.

ok. got to get one job app done today before i get in too much of a coma!

wewlad got contacted for The Big 20th Interview at 441 jobs. brings me to 1/22 average here. 1 interview for every 22 applications. in baseball terms that is a .045 batting average hahahahaha.

but yeah i have been in a SLUMP lately, a COLD STREAK, so this is kinda good. but now i worry i will be RUSTY and therefore not do so good on this interview.

well, just dont schedule 2 interviews for 1 day ever again hehehehe.

this is for a large ass company who sometimes has TV commercials. its a fortune….550 company hahahahaha.

1.5% revenue LOSS but a profit GAIN? how does that work?

anyway this job has to do with fire safety department, i guess extinguishers and sprinklers maybe? inspection and service.

and i have a damn written test TONIGHT for the 15 dah pt city job. 15 dah is great, but pt and no bennies sucks. it probably sucks so much that you should not have a damn 2 hour written test. HOW MANY PEOPLE are really applying for this? well there were about 30 people for the wirtten test for the other city job a few months ago!

awww sheeeeit i gotta bring my own PENCILS???? they had pencils last time. so they will print out 500 sheets of paper for the test but not pencils. ok. making 30 people come in at this one time. when they could have done the whole thing online. but then there would prob be more applicants. so its worth it for them to print 600 pages of paper……but NOT supply pencils hahahaha.

heh i wish high schools taught the skills you actually need in jobs. like “DECIPHERING priorities” being dumped on you by 10 different people. and communicating in tough situations and making decisions where you dont have information, and you dont know who has the information, and you dont know how to get the information, to fix a broken system where the customer knows more about the system than you, and are demanding an explanation for something you dont understand and have never seen.

this should all be in high school, NOT spending MONTHS reading SHAKESPEARE. come on. shakespeare? really? i am not dissing shakespeare but really its fooking USELESS. let stupid english majors in college read shakespeare. im not even denying that he was a smart white writer.

now annoyed because literally 10 flies are now in the house buzzing around when earlier in the day, there were NONE. i mean what the hell am i supposed to think? to go from 0 to 10 in just a few hours?

and when you have a TON of flies in the house like this, its like, what filth is rotting away in here?

in certain regions there are different kinds of flies. like in rural areas there are a ton of flies, but they do not seem to signify filth the same way these flies do. i would strongly wager they are diff species of flies.

i mean its distracting and annoying and i have killed at least 5 or 6 so far and theres several more. i had the door open for a few seconds but i didnt see any flies fly in, let alone 10.

so stupid and retarded.

well, her job is not some fancy high status masters degree senior level career job, its just really FUN and she LUVS it, and he is an Unemployed Bum.

ok. did muh 15 pushups today. did 2 job apps. making some headway on getting rid of these flies. did some cleaning around the house. got written job test in a few hours. not even gonna prepare. cant really.

so now you need to know your LOVE LANGUAGE because of this stupid fad book, and know your womans luv language, and manage a way so that you can communicate with her, and do all the heavy lifting there, or else youre the bad guy who pushes her away and deserves to be dumped because you didnt jump through all the hoops and do all the heavy lifting and all the hard work and all the effort.

i dont know what my luv language is. i am very cuddly and affectionate WHEN I like the person, but before then, i am cold and aloof and distant. it takes a long time and or somebody very special to get over The Wall.  and then when they do, i smother them with affection and attention and stalking and neediness hahahaha.

do i do gifts or actions? i havent really been with somebody long enough to do any thoughtful gift giving beyond basic bitch buying them dinner hahahaha then get dumped shortly after hahahaha.  but the few times i did buy gifts for women i had known for a while, i tried to make them really nice and good and that they would like them.

i mean you have to have an at least medium term rel before you start buying making meaningful GIFTS for them! so i did that a LITTLE for woman2012, did that a little for woman2015. maybe they dumped me because i didnt get them enough gifts and with enough meaning hahahaha. no jk.

heh. 1 job is INFINITELY more than 0 jobs.

2 jobs is only TWICE as much as 1 job ahahahahahahahahahahahah.

therefore,

https://www.google.com/search?q=Five+Geek+Social+Fallacies&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&oq=Five+Geek+Social+Fallacies&aqs=chrome..69i57&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

sheeeeeeeeit.

yeah well “OSTRACISM” is wrong if you just freeze someone out with no communication. but yeah it is okay to tell someone “i dont want to hang out any more.” but i wouldnt call that “OSTRACISM.”

http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html

setp 28

sheeeeeeeit man. so i went to the written test for the part time city job. 15 hourly. one time only. well, i found out they actually had a second session. there were 33 people here. wow. ranged from attractive 8/10 23 year old gurls, to 60 year old men and women. learned there were 3 positions filling. did not know that. that was good news. that gives me a better chance. but i did HORIBLE on the test!

because half of it was goddamn accounting questions: do a bank reconciliation problem. do a cash disbursements journal problem. which are increased and decreased by debits, which accounts are increased and decreased by credits. law of debits and credits.

this is ALL accounting 101 stuff, and I took accounting 101 and got a A+. over 6 years ago. then i never used this knowledge again. so i recognized these words but completely forgot what they meant, and certainly couldnt remember enough to get the questions right!

was very frustrated and angry, because i USED to know this stuff and years ago would have done very well! I could definitely relearn it fairly quickly. but right now I dont remember shit.

heh. i can give you oficial transcripts showing you i got 4.0 in accounting 1 AND accounting 2!  I USED to know all this stuff. i would have loved to get an entry level accounting clerk job, but you gotta have a CPA and 5 years of experience to do this hhahahaha.

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+do+cash+disbursement+journal&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&oq=how+to+do+cash+dis&aqs=chrome.3.69i57j0l5.6872j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+do+bank+reconciliation&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&oq=how+to+do+bank+re&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.5123j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

ok so learn how to do it then so i can bs about it in a future interview hehehehe

ooooh just got invited to a phone interview/screening for a….12 dah job i applied to OVER 3 MONTHS AGO. it is not even on Muh Spreadsheet. I thought I got rejection email. shit i DID get a rejection email on APRIL 12!!!!!!

so they probably hired someone, they didnt learn fast enough and were fired or panicquit, or they werent happy with 12 bucks an hour, or they died of a fentanyl laced heroin overdose hahahahahahahahahahaha or bludgeoned to death by their black boifran tyrone hahahaha. what a sense of humor. ladies, im single hahahahaha.

and so now they are going to their second string in the pool. WELP its better than putting out another posting and getting 1000 NEW people in the pool, like that trucking company does. i have stopped applying for the damn position. (maybe its a test, they are checking to see if you apply for it FIVE TIMES and THEN they call you. so since i stopped at 3 or 4, they wont call me.)

but this place is a well reputed credit union and they are super close to home if its the branch im thinking of. want to find out how much customer contact it is of course. also i dont think this place gets ROBBED too much.

SOMEBODY DISCONNECTED FROM ME ON LINKEDIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant figure out who it is. maybe one of the people that requested me who i dont even know in real life, just because i am desperate for linkedin connections hehehehe.

had weird dream where i was watching “a david lynch film” which is similar to when i am watching a “lars von trier film” in a dream, usually means I am about to see some FOOKED UP SHIT like a full blown NIGHTMARE.

There was some shit with nazis and hitler having an orgy that also included gay sex.

there was a part where i was living in a house in a trashy area of town. the house was kinda falling apart but it was big and could be fixed up nice. i was waiting for a call from Woman2 because i was desperate to hang out with her, because she was super cute, young, and she showed a lot of interest in me. this is pretty much how i felt when I first met her. when she was super cute, super young, and was the first gurl who was THAT interested in me. I was so excited that I thought I might finally get muh first GF. really she just wanted to have chill fun and see where things went, and she quickly determined she did not want to Date Me. a few quick secsual sessions and making out and cuddling, yeah its fun, but uh oh looks like he’s getting feelings and wants to turn this into something. NOPE.

i guess that is her right to not want a rel, but I was still hurt hehehehe.

also she was a j00 and as of now, i would never want to be in a serious rel with a joo. casual sex maybe. but long term rel? HELL NO.

anyway in the dream i went upstairs to the second floor where i never went, and in a bedroom in the bed there was laying some random dead woman. it looked like a huge gaping hole was in her crotch area and all her insides had been removed. absolutely horrifying. soon after i found a bunch more dead women, similarly mutilated. there had to be like at least 10 dead women up there.

so yeah that was what made the dream really nightmarish. i forced myself to wake up and stay awake for a few minutes just so i wouldnt go back into that dream! and i dont think i did.

kinda weird to have a dream about woman2, but not TOO weird, and much better than dreaming about woman2015! that woman!

heheheh i hate that feel when you think oh i like this gurl because she doesnt wear a lot of makeup or dress like…well, not necess a “skank” or a “whore”, but a High Maintenance Princess who wants to look Classy Sexy to Powerful Men, with expensive dresses, high heels, jewelry, all that shit. a high class whore hahahahaha.

but thats only because she never invites you to those events where she dresses like that. she seems like a total girl next door to you, then one day you randomly see her Dressed Up like a woman who knows how to get what she wants, and you are shocked and a little disappointed, because you thought she had no idea of how to dress like that.

how often does she dress like that? in ways to wrap powerful men around her little finger? probably more than you will ever know. she knows exactly how to manipulate powerful men to get the high quality resources she wants. money, status, vacations, clothes, cars, careers, houses, power.

sheeeeeit. rejected for casual/contingent no benefits job with FEDGOV.

sheeeeeit. looking at the HR woman who invited me to phone interview and she is very well regarded, decent college, AND has a mba-LIKE degree that I really dont understand the difference between this an an MBA, but a lot successful people have this particular degree. she is not some stupid 22 year entry level HR ditz in other words, but a smarter, masters degree, 35 year old HR bossgrrl. be very afraid, hahahahaha.

i hate it when these women ask for SPACE and then BOOM, you cant ask for any CLARIFICATION or YOURE the bad guy. come on. show some good faith. i am HAPPY to give you space if you give me some DETAILS up front, namely, here’s when the space ends, and an assurance that we will communicate about it fully. you give me space for 2 weeks, then you can call me on october 15 (specific date) AND I promise I will write you a long email by ocotber 15.

but when they just say I NEED SPACE STARTING RIGHT NOW and then xpect you to DROP EVERYTHING for them, thats fooking stupid af. IM GONNA CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION WITH YOU FOR AN INDEFINITE TIME

omg i ACTUALLY REPLIED:

IMHO the best way to do “space” is with clearly defined terms and time period. I don’t like when “space” is used as an excuse to avoid communication and avoid working on a mutual problem indefinitely. I think it would be a sign of good faith for the person wanting the space to also offer some sort of communication or clarification about it, like “I need some time to think, but I will contact you on [specific date] to discuss this, or I will send you a letter/email by [specific date].”
Basically, IMHO, clear communication and a clear timeframe are very important, rather than using “space” as an excuse to avoid communicating about complex problems. Unfortunately I think the odds are against you here, so it may help to try to “detach” yourself, of course that’s MUCH easier said than done. Just be careful not to push her, and respect the space as best you can, although I definitely appreciate how frustrating it is when somebody refuses to communicate with you. And also don’t lose sight of the fact that just because you have PTSD, that that means you aren’t “worthy” of a relationship, OR that you have to have that issue 100% resolved before you are “worthy.” Dealing with psychological or emotional issues is a long-term thing, and I think the ideal partner would appreciate that you are making a good-faith effort to manage your condition, rather than expecting you to be 100% “fixed.” Good luck and please keep us updated!

END REPLY

Im sure I will get downvoted by the women always right, men always wrong cuckold manhating phaggots of reddit, then feel ashamed and delete muh post.

26f has been with n=24 guys/people. she says “low twenties” so I take her at her word and assumes that means 24, which is way too damn high for me hahahahahahaha.

big suprise it comes after a raep and this is how she fees free and control again, by racking up a large number in a short time.

no im not saying she deserved getting raeped, im just saying THIS IS A BAD WAY TO DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course all the catladies and sluts and cuckolds of reddit think a womans number doesnt matter, and any guy who thinks it does is immature, creeper, insecure, doesnt deserve a rel until he LEARNS.

“20 is not THAT high of a number” ???!?!?!?!? ARE YOU FOOKING KIDDING ME????!?!?!?!

like this one polyamorous nerd slut says, “SEX IS COMPLICATED!!!!!”

and i would totally agree with that. complicated as in the different emotions and beliefs and situations and attached meaning of the two people doing it. and i am TOTALLY entitled to my belief that its a special thing that should be TREATED as such, adn that casual secs is DEGENERATE and immoral and yucky.

but yeah. just like a woman to want space but then make NO EFFORT to communicate exactly what she MEANS by that, making YOU the bad guy when you try to figure out exactly what space means.

how about this, when you ask for space, PREPARE for the conversation like you would prepare for a test or job interview or presentation. prepare what you are going to say. write a god damn PLAN. write a damn ONE PAGE fact sheet of how long the space ends, the rules of the space, and what kind of good will YOU are gonna offer in return for this good will. dont just demand shit for free. A RELATIONSHIP IS A TWO WAY STREET.

no you dont HAVE to…..it would just be RESPECTFUL to your BF to treat him with respect and treat the rel as a two way street, not a one sided master slave thing.

these women give you these vague things and expect you to read their crazy minds. wtf. so retarded and stupid and like a retarded baby with a flamethrower hahahaha.

wewlad got muh 1 application done today. state unemployment agency job in EXTREMELY diverse area. 16 an hour, GREAT pay rate there, hard to FIND jobs that pay between 12 and 16 dollars!!!!! its always below or way above. cant find that happy medium sweet spot for entry level trash like me hahahaha.

it seems to be a BACK OFFICE job, if it were Front Office Customer Service, I would have gladly thrown it away hahaha. i mean this neighborhood is all arabs and turks and blacks and africans and asians, they are PROUD that 100 languages are spoken in the grade school. i do not want to be serving these smelly, chattering, entitled foreigners face to face. BUILD THE WALL. THEY HAVE TO GO BACK. theres probably a few mexicans and hondurans and squatemalens in there, although theres another area of town for them.

i am a DEPLORABLE racist xenophobe. THIS IS NOT NEWS! didnt you read the ABOUT page?

i do like this baby steps thing. just do ONE job app. just do 15 pushups. just walk 1 mile. just run ONE errand. but the goal is, you do several of these things. so today was successful there. I did 1 app, did 1 errand, did 15 pushups, and am about to go for 1 moderate powerwalk. honestly i use powerwalking as an EXCUSE NOT to do job search. because its so much funner.

also did some tech support around the home by figuring out how to setup wireless printer on several computers (and doing it, hehehehe.)

got at least 2 rejection emails, got 1 email asking for phone interview, got that set up for tuesday, got a real interview wednesday, not bad.

went for 2.2 mile powerwalk, it was threatening to rain. prob could and should have continued. oh well. not as disappointed as if i had not done any job apps hehehe. that is ESSENTIAL. at least do one. if you do more, great. but dont say “TODAY I HAVE TO DO 5. SHEEEEIT, I SHOULD BE DOING AT LEAST 32 IF I WANT TO BE A BARE MINIMUM BIGBOY WORKING MAN. DO LESS THAN 32, YOU DONT DESERVE A 1/10 MUDSHARK SEACOW.” that kind of Self Talk is rather discouraging hahahahaha.

WHEN YOU SEND MESSAGES THEY DIDNT CONSENT TO RECEIVING, ITS LITERALLY RAEP

sheeeeeeeeit

sept 20

meet with shrink today for first time in over a month, should be entertaining hahahaha.

reddit. if youre upset about being dumped, then youre automatically CONTROLLING and ABUSIVE and immature. werent you ever upset about being dumped? also i think that YES you ARE a little bit on the hook for your Ex Partners feelings at the end of the rel. its not a goddamn get out of jail free card. its not a waive all your responsibilities card.

BREAKUPS INVOLVE RESPONSIBILITIES TOO. thats what reddit and apparently 50% of women dont seem to understand hahahaha.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/09/20/the-daily-shoah-103-vice-shitty-stories/

wewlad, daily shoah gets a VICE reporter on the show, then within hours the TDS soundcloud is shut down (again!). apparently its a 20 year old gurl with valley gurl vocal fry hahahahaha oh man dis gon be gud.

also bulbasaur is back and this is legit a big deal, hope he stays back.

anyway i basically just hate the feeling of not being able to HANDLE anything. go to a job and not know what to do, bullshit your way through things, deal with bitches bitching at you all day, just surviving one day at a time on the edge. you just want to come home and smoke big fat b0wl until you are blazed as fook, and then immed go to bed. but you cant because you dont have a source for MJ and you cant do drugs in front of your family, plus you shouldnt be doing drugs anyway hahahahaha.

but i also think it really HELPS when you have a stressful job you are just trying to survive one day at a time. helps you Switch Off after a horrible day, and also to slow down and get some rest for another horrible day tomorrow.  more effective than just about anything else. lack of hangover. the next best thing obviously is exercising STRENUOUSLY till exhaustion. cant do that EVERY DAY though.

well, one day you could cardio strenuously, then the next day LIFT strenuously. there you go.

applied for job at ticketmaster. maybe eddie vedder can call me up and bitch at me hahahahahahahahaha.  that fooking phaggot. he couldnt HANDLE working a DAY at ticketmaster. the 424th job.

i guess 500 is a lot nicer, rounder number than 400 eh?

yeah i am digging this bell witch pretty well. maybe i just really like that cover art hahahaha.  anyway they have no guitar just bass and honestly i couldnt really tell cuz doom usually tunes their guitars so low that it almost doesnt matter hahaha.

this is a 28 year old woman. he’s my best friend and we are looking forward to an AWESOME FUTURE with NO KIDS and LOTS OF CATS.

of COURSHE, REDDIT sees nothing wrong with this whatsoever. totally valid lifestyle choice.

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

because KIDS are SO UNCOOL and CATS are AWESOME. RAWR!!!! KIDS are LAME and prevent you from achieving success in your CAREER, making a difference with nonwhite children in africa and arabia, and from TRAVELING.  this is normal stuff for a 28 year old childless woman to be thinking. because they are not going to have fertility problems in the next 5 to 10 years or anything.

sheeeeeeit rejected by ticketmaster SAME DAY as applying. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

and this is with my New Cover Letter Now With Brief Getting Out In Front Of the Issue Explanation of Gap!

i was thinking, every man should have a female friend or acquaintance that he gets to Cuddle With on the Regular. like once every 2 weeks at least. it would not be a Dating or Secsual or Monogamous Rel of course. well, of course the guy would probably fall in luv with the gurls. so the gurl should have the training to manager that inevitability, because i believe if it were managed well, the pros could outweigh the cons.

but then its a slippery slope to degeneracy like fook buddies and all that degen.

but cuddling isnt degen at all!

yeah but you shouldnt do it with just anybody and be a damn no strings attached cuddle slut…..should you?

because if you cuddle with a cuddle buddy, aren’t you increasingly likely to get feelings for them? yes. same as if you fook them.

but casual cuddling is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY less DEGEN than casual fooking. better for your soul.

had pretty uneventful meeting with shrink. just vocalizing my somewhat growing discouragement with job search, etc. things i might try doing differently, like focusing more on “low hanging fruit” like part time jobs and the god damn temp agency, etc.

listened to first hour of new daily shoah where they gangraep cutesy female journalist. i mean she sounds like a college idiot even though shes gotta be like 28 or 30 years old with a Professional Career since at least 2007 with atlantic, vice, maybe msnbc. i bet she went to a good college, maybe even ivy. theres no reason for her to talk like this unless she is coming in bad faith. they talk about the issue of bad faith. it takes 20 minutes before the good talk gets going. she starts with coy bad faith questions about pepe and the guys are very tight lipped because they see right through the shit.

really i think they should do this more often, and have it be just mike enoch vs the journalist, so it doesnt seem like they are ganging up on the poor widdle gurl.

ok heres the one they did a few weeks ago with the gawker journalist, i will listen to that one next

i have NEVER been good at debating my enemies, sheeeeeeit i cant even debate my leftist FRIENDS. when they start saying something leftist, i just keep my mouth shut. if i were as strong and sharp and quick on my feet as mike enoch, damn that guy is good. i might actually have a chance at challenging my friends preconceived notions.

well, im sure you go easier on your friends. just chip away slowly and make little chinks in the armor, then sit back and let them question themselves. that is what i would like to do. but if you get a damn enemy like a vice journalist, of course you want to DEMOLISH them.

and i want to see more of these kind of debates.

well i dont really want to listen to the MW / Sargon debate. Although I think MW has gotten more ballsy since then. No, I want to hear Tuff Guy Mike Enoch DESTROY LEFTISTS.

sept 21

sheeeeeeit. so i ran into this guy i used to work with at this auto related store today. he told me a bunch of people went to work at this one company that did not surprise me, i knew a few went there, turns out it was more than a few. he said they paid 18 an hour. he interviewed for them but did not get the job. i said sheeeeit thats some bullshit, fook them, whatever man, forget about it.

he let slip that That Person was working at this Company which I wont name but now I know the name of it and I wont apply there hahahaha. i think he said she interviewed at the same company he did and also did not get the job, and some people he felt shouldnt get that job, got it. i THINK he said she interviewed but did not get it. if so, i was happy about that, because he is smarter than her, and if he didnt get the job, she shouldnt get the job. also she doesnt come across as very strong or sharp or smart. but i guess she got something. not 18 an hour though. prob not.

he has no idea my history with her and i didnt ask about her, he mentioned her just as he was rattling off people we used to work with.

he mentioned some of my favorite people from the job, and they were being “bums” not working. me too i said, hahahaha. i actually talked to this guy pretty well, like a total normie. well we got along fairly well, i think i liked him more than he liked me tho hahahaha.  well whatever. he’s got kids to raise and he is a busy guy so i just chalk it up to that. plus he is nonwhite so, whatever. he is not a bad guy though! he deserves a 18 dollar an hour job too!

also i dont think he fooked That Woman. well who knows. maybe she fooked everybody. he did not seem too interested in her tho. also she was not a huge slut when i knew her. i have this fantasy narrative where she became a huge slut the moment she dumped me hahahaha.

well now i know the name of her company so i know not to apply there. and i am not tempted to look her name up to find any info about her. not that i have. i have NOT. but now i might look up the company and see how much her position pays hahahaha. something having to do with documents and forms.

was driving home late last night and had awful feeling, why is the car pulling this much, whats that sound, whys this feel so weird, oh shit, do i have a flat tire, and turns out yes yes i definitely do. instant panic hahahaha.

ive actually never successfully changed a flat tire as shameful as that is.

well i carefully drove to a gas station about half a mile away and tried putting some air in the tire. didnt seem to help at all. not sure i was putting the air in right though.

called fam to let them know what was going on. i was scared and helpless and weak hehehehe so shameful and pathetic. plus they might have insurance that has roadside service.

anyway the fam came out but they didnt really NEED to, because i managed to figure out the complicated procedure of jacking the car up, removing the bad tire, and putting on the spare tire. then putting some air in the spare tire, and driving carefully home.

so that was actually kind of empowering and confidence building. i was always worried i would put the tire on wrong, or jack the car up wrong, put the jack in the wrong place, not put the tire on right, the tire would come fully off while i was driving, etc. but no, everythign went very well. and now i just feel bad about making the fam come out there and get worried. was like 8 miles from home. didnt want them to think i was in jail for drunk driving or smething. i have not drank in 7 years!!!!!

i had always said one day i would practice jacking up car and replacing the tire, just so i could do it quickly and confidently when needed. but i never got around to it hahahaha.

but i managed to pretty much do it yesterday. it was kinda slow but i eventually made progress. next time i could do it a lot faster.

it was like oh shit am i doing this right, am i screwing up the car, i dont know what this is supposed to be like, and then ultimately everything worked out. kinda like my job hahahaha.

but its one thing when you are responsible for yourself, vs taking the responsibility for someone ELSE and THEIR problem. like me trying to tell another person how to change their tyre, when I had never done it myself.

so yeah if i had to do it again, i would be a lot less nervous. well assuming i had the correct tools and a properly inflated spare tyre hehehe.

but yeah it was not quick. it was closer to 60 minutes than 30 minutes. if you know what youre doing you could prob do it in under 20.

had dream last night featuring woman#….3? i cant even. no i think it was woman4. from 2005. she was a prudish innocent asexual type gurl, i liked her Secsual Innocence and total lack of sluttishness. but yeah she was not interested in me and i came on too strong hahaha. but she was a decent choice i think, would have made a good gf if she were willing. which she werent hahaha. i would have totally monog trad dated her for 2 years. shared firsts with her hahahaha.

anyway in the dream she was being nice to me and cuddling with me, possibly some making out. and that felt really good. smiling and gazing at me and cuddling and making out and touching, nothing too degen though. so that was pleasant.

so it was nice to feel those feels for someone who was not That Woman.

Sheeeeeit, i’ll take a Previous Woman from 11 years go, over That Woman, ANYDAY!!!!!!

anyway the guy i talked to told me His Price. His Going Rate. he wont take a job for less than this amount. it is a pretty respectable number, a little high, but it’s good to think highly of yourself hahahahaha. and he is worth it. hell were ALL WORTH it, its just, can you GET it.

the number was higher than 15 an hour hehehe. and certainly higher than 12-13 an hour like i am aiming for now.

i dont know why that big company didnt hire him. he is a pretty normie guy and pretty smart and why the hell wouldnt they want a smart nonwhite.  maybe the guy seems laid back or stoned or something? but he doesnt smoke MJ, at least not regularly! he’s just kinda laid back. which is GOOD! i dont get it. do you have to be electrifying?

i mean yeah i try to present as more energetic and electrifying, but just come across as nervous and anxious and virginy hahahaha.

great fun listening to death panel destroy the widdle gurl journalist. i mean she sounds like such a retarded idiot. you cant even have a productive conversation with these people hahaha. i look forward to listening to the male gawker journo they had on a month ago. maybe he can actually not sound like a 13 year old moron gurl.  its amazing this woman can make good money and i struggle to get a 12 an hour job!

yeah ghoul is autistic and these conversations should really be mike enoch and the person alone, cuz once mike pins them down, he can deal the finishing blow, but with all the other 5 guys sperging out, it allows the journo to squirm away and dodge questions like a sneaky little J.

it was funny to hear seventh son snap and get angry, he is usually very chill. but hes like shut the fook up you god damn liar.

so yeah i hope this becomes a regular thing and that mike e can structure it a little better. take the good suggestions of the commenters. i havent even looked at the forum yet but supposedly there is pretty good proof that it was This Woman Reporter who got TRS soundcloud shut down.

well she makes money because of her jooish boifran. well hes just a damn journalist too!

but he comes from a family of jooish doctors. monay.

hehehe the people at trs do their due diligence.

also she used to be married to a white guy who was a military guy AND a leftist who fabricated stories of military being abusive to iraqis for the new republic in 2007. he recanted his story and she gained a reputation as being very lazy on fact checking. theory that she is only still working because she dumped the white guy and started fooking a pure joo journalist.

not sure where she went to skool. georgetown?

nope university of missouri columbia, journalism, 2005.

ok, that is the same thing as MU aka mizzou.

she possibly met her lying leftist x husbando there. not sure. dont really care.

but yeah the grilling on TDS could have gone a lot better by having a more intimate convo with k1ke enoch, maybe he could play nice for the first 20 minutes, lure her in, then trap them like a rat.

but of course i understand that you should show this vermin no respect.

i guess i just cant help white knighting for white gurls. i sadly would probably bang her 6/10 fetal alcohol syndrome, 34 year old, hipster problem glasses wearing, body, vocal fry, leftist, lying.

im just curious to see what happens after this. like what kind of article is she gonna write. i mean she was made to look like an IDIOT. that cant be good for her story.

i wanted funeral doom, why dont i just go with a trusted name here, and not just listen to the first song only, hahahahaha. i hear the third song is also pretty good.

interesting seeing that guy from the job. he was on my good list so i didnt mind talking to him. realize i hadnt seen him in over a year. 14+ months. WOW.

cant help but think of That Woman and how i am a just a small insignificant part of her Distant Past, and she should be the same to me, but she’s not!

but she’s moved on, new job, 14 months, def new cox, maybe some new lovers that she can fall in luv with, new friends she can be interested in, new life, new everything.

tho i am sorta glad she wasnt BRIGHT enough to get that 18 an hour job all the other people got. because she really is not a very sharp thinker in the technical field. she just is more emotionally mature and disciplined than me hahahaha. she is more mature than me hahahaha yet she cant send 1 text to end a 3 year rel. i am less mature than that apparently hahahahahaha.

but yeah i couldnt help but think of her when i saw this guy. bringing back memories of the awful job from so long ago. yet i cant get over HER. i cant really get over that job either hahaha. this man i talked to didnt hate it nearly as much as i did. he was very chill and laid back and could roll with the punches very well. i wish i could do that.

yeah i totally understand why she could throw a person away. it just hurts a LOTTTTTT and I guess I dont understand why she couldnt send a messanger to just say sorry for the way this all went down, have a good life. that would have helped a lot. couldn’t you care enough to do that?

maybe by the time she thought of doing that, some time had already passed, and she figured it would be like ripping open an old wound again. which makes sense.  i can understand that.

but she BLOCKED ME, which says DONT CONTACT ME. I DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. I WONT LISTEN TO YOU. WHEN YOU CONTACT ME, THAT’S AGAINST MY CONSENT, AND MAKES YOU THE BAD GUY.

so sending messages that will get blocked makes you the bad guy, becuase they didnt CONSENT to receiving those messages. its LITERALLY RAPE hahahahahaha.

heh. the amount of dollars per hour you make is like your LEVEL.

are you a loser making 11 dollars an hour?

or are you a huge winner making 18 dollars an hour?

its “ONLY” 7 dollars. but that 7 dollars makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world between a loser and a winner. thats 14k a year between big loser and big winner. hmmm.

22k a year vs 36k a year.

i think savage.wav comes from the michael savage show and not necssarily devil may cry. just a thought.

referrinf to the sweet audio drop on the fatherland haha

im honestly not this ADD. this is just mental multitasking, i have to have two trains of unrelated thought going at all times. i blame the job really. with all the damn CASES that we did.

plus im jealous of how SHE used to work on 3 or 4 or 5 cases AT THE SAME TIME. she was a better multitasker than me.

but was she ultimately more effective? or efficient? i dont think so.

btw if i havent made this clear, multitasking is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT and anyone who says its a good thing, you should punch them repeatedly in the face.

multitasking is a jooish lie, scam, myth, farce, lies, bullshit.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-non-business-students-shouldnt-take-business-dimitri-bianco-frm

real controversial title here!  and i did not watch the video so…..i guess its some young MSc who got a sweet 100k job for what he went to graduate skool for, and he is complaining about Grad students taking Business classes because they want to work “in industry” as opposed to……didnt watch the video. in industry as opposed to academia, government, nonprofits, public sector i guess?  and they think taking a marketing class will somehow make them more hirable? but it really doesnt? and they should just get into a better grad program instead? but why are you in grad skool if its not a good one? because people will just go to grad skool. not even joking. but how could just about any MSc degree be “worthless?”

because some degrees that seem worthwhile are worthless. like a phoenix MBA hahahahaha. but thats a business degree.

well, like maybe if you get a “general” library or education masters degree. or social work. i guess biology is shitty too.

heh. this is why i avoid graduate skool. why i avoided it for 10 years. i would rather try to survive in the real world. and i havent figured out how to do that yet! apparently by being able to be calm and make decisions and bullshitting in Tough Situations!

heres the TDS with the vice gurl, it hadnt been uploaded to youtube yet yesterday hehe

i mean it was kinda a trainwreck and could have been a lot better, but it was still very entertaining and illustrative. and cant stop listening. but it still could have been better. like yeah actually talk about the JQ for an hour. but she’s not gonna come back, she’s prob the one who reported TDS to soundcloud. she wont come back to have a more productive discussion.

basically there was a lot of wasting time of people interrupting, her being an idiot, some of the guys being autistic. something more focused with just mike and the reporter, talking in depth about one issue, like the JQ or White Privilege or Housing or Immigration or Punching Down or Systemic Racism. pick one and only one. yeah i know its hard when theres all these good interrelated topics. but you cant give them any place to run to, any chance to change the subject.

anyway yeah it started getting good near the end of the interview. it took 2 hours to start really getting good.