WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?

dec 3

https://www.youtube dot com/watch?v=C2hOJR0hIBY

this “woman” looks like a man, and should not be wearing something so unflattering, and looks part nonwhite, BUT she is appearing on redice, who are Legit Vetted Good Goys and worthy of support, talking about the evils and degeneracy of Jooish Pornography, so thats pretty cool. i just saw this, have not listened yet.

but with a great name like “PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY” I got a DOUBLE BONER and downloaded it IMMEDIATELY for listening very soon on a powerwalk! they just should not have put “her” wearing that in the thumbnail. jeez she is so ugly in that picture it undermines all of our credibility hahahahaha. still anything about PORNOGRAPHY: WEAPONIZED DEGENERACY HAS to be a good talk, good lesson, good message.

 

really you should listen to the three hour mix three times a day hahahahahahaha

when we were young, once in a great while we would find a song that was so mind blowingly awesome that we made a “mix cd” of that one song on repeat for 74 minutes.  this one would definitely qualify! although I was not aware of it at that time unfort. Oh I knew about the movie but had no interest in it and had no knowledge of the music.

here is one of those songs hehehe. for some reason we gravitated to ridiculous 80s style “cock rock.”

i am shilling for red ice today. now i dont like how this guest woman dresses like a HOOKER with the eye makeup and earrings and showing the tits, but uh i will try to listen to this one as well. but yeah even though henrik and lana are All Right, sometimes they do have weirdass guests who are jooish or antiwhite hahahaha so just because somebody is ON red ice doesnt mean they are automatically good.

but yeah what red ice is doing, creating their own alt right, pro white media platform/network, is exactly what whites need to do. create a white, joo-free media. our own news, our own tv and radio, and of course podcasts are a great part of this, and its already happening, THANK GOD.

yeah i know red ice did weird alex jones conspiracy shit years ago, but i forgive them hahahaha.

henrik and lana just need to have 3+ children and hire some white men to do red ice.

i would become a sustaining member of red ice but their prices are too damn high hahahahaha.

65 euros a YEAR?  that is like 66 dollars a year. i would maybe do 20.

i mean they DESERVE it, i just cant/dont want to dnate that much!

i mean its more for ME than THEM, so i can FEEL GOOD about myself, and really i need all of THAT i can get!

there is this catholic church sorta near me that is geared towards polish people, and i hear that polish catholics are some of the most hardcore Based Catholics hahahaha. they are proud of their polish blood and dont have open arms for a bunch of screaming asians and mestizos and browns and arabs which you see in many cath churches. plus i have some polish blood and love poles. love them. would love a nice polish gurl for a qt 3.1488 waifu. poland is definitely a top tier european country.

problem is this place doesnt just have one polish mass a week, they have nothing BUT polish mass and EVERYTHING is in polish, church website, church bulletin/newsletter.

actually this is not a problem at all, this is a fookin BENEFIT. cuz it means they are traditional and old school as fook.

so i could just go there and be like

¯\_ツ_/¯   ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯     ¯\_ツ_/¯       ¯\_ツ_/¯      ¯\_ツ_/¯

and say dzien dobry, jak sie maz (????), sto lat, dzienkuje, boze dobry, boze dobrze rzarzarzarza, ja nie movi polakiu, and then they would say oh look hes trying, how nice, then they could hook me up with their 19 year old virgin daughter who could teach me polakiu hahahaha and i could put babies in her for 14k a year hahahahaha.

sheeeeeeit those women are TOO GOOD for me!

乁(⏓ ͜つ⏓)ㄏ

2016-12-03-20_36_03-cardamom-0-02_0-04-no-limit-holdem-replay-13464295

this fookin guy makes a huge raise when he flops a pair of 8s. glad i agressively went all in instead of thinking he had AA and folding! or 88 or 66 or 22 hehehe.

no thats not 7 dollars and 45 cents, thats .00745 btc, which is…. 5 dollars and 71 cents. YIKES. well the price of BTC has gone up pretty steadily since i started playing this shit like 2 years ago.

so yeah if i had any BALLS like a REAL MAN i would have gone to this polish church 11 fookin years ago!!!!!!!

fooking reddit relships and their different secs BEST FRIENDS. you shouldnt have a BEST FRIEND who is the opposite sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and IM the weirdo and sexist and hateful racist violent trump supporter for thinking this!!!!!!!

or IM weird because i think open relationships are shitty and bad. im being too judgmental and intolerant of peoples valid choice.

well to be fair, reddit says that MOST people

dec 4

 

i am gradually warming up to emily youcis. normally i am very very very very suspicious of women in the movement, but she doesnt seem TOO bad. plus i immediately get more sympathy for the women once they LOSE something like their job or their freedumz. and so she was recently fired by k1ke company aramark (i applied for office clerk job there, no response hahaha) after working for 7 years selling pistachios at the baseball stadium. fired for “social media” reasons.

yeah i mean maybe this was part of her plan and she’s prob not gonna go homeless or sucking dick for a place to stay (not that most women dont already do that anyway hahahahahahahahahaha)

anyway. so i am always judging women for being hookers and sluts and wh0res and promiscuous and degenerate, but in the end, do those things really impact me directly? why do i hate sluts so much? that woman wasn’t a slut! she hurt me through ways that did not involve sluttiness AT ALL!

yeah well in the PAST ive def been hurt by women who were into the slutty casual sex mindframe. also i just find it very distasteful and immoral and degen and a sign of the cultural and spiritual degen which we must fix in our people. and yes it represents something i WANT but cant seem to get, which is given away so freely to Everyone Else but I am fundamentally broken and unable to obtain.

and also i am judgmental against the things that that woman DID do, like avoiding shit like a coward, i dont like that either hahaha.

ok well here’s a good point: at least i never really became a beta orbiter friendzone!!! or if i did, it ended pretty damn quickly!

it kind of proves that i basically will not LET MYSELF become a pathetic supplicating beta orbiter. i eventually have to rip the bandaid off and be like, here’s the obvious truth which i can’t believe you’re not seeing. I CANT GO ON THIS WAY hahahaha.

going to church on sunday today instead of saturday. going to church that is probably better than the one i usu go to. less cucky and marxist and antitrvmp and leftwing. less cucking for DIVERSITY and UNITY and VIBRANCY and all that shit. shit no wonder that church is full of weird asians and this other church seems to have more whites. shit why dont i just go to this other church regularly. or go to that damn polish church. IT DOESNT MATTER that i dont speak polish. i could learn and besides them speaking polish is a YUGGGGGGGGGGGE value add!!!!!!! its a GREAT thing!

yep starting new 13k job tomorrow. kind of a big deal. nervous. dont want to screw it up. dont want to look like a WEIRD IDIOT. just want to do a good job. not just a good job, but a GREAT job and really impress everyone.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit i should have been getting BOOKS related to my NEW FIELD the instant i knew i was hired, and devouring those books to get a good frame of reference, big picture view, maybe some small picture view too, reading the books The Director reads for his PhD, which is of course related to his masters degree and what he does now, The Department, what books are most relevant to this job and this department, thought leaders, bla bla. i quickly bought a book right now so that i could say i at least placed my order for the book before i started the job hahahaha but why i didnt do this 2 weeks ago so i could have had the books and started reading them by now…….hmm maybe i am not serious about making 13k a year with no benefits, maybe WALMART would be a better fit with my career skills.

dumped because he couldnt read the gurls stupid mind. i GUESS shes ENTITLED to dump him for whatever stupid reason she wants, but when the reason is THAT stupid, just candy coat it and dont GIVE an exact reason. i mean thats just a BAD REASON. just say I’m not compatible with you. it’s not you its me. that would be better than saying some stupid ass shit like that.

hehe i made the mistake of initially assuming the “best friend” OP of the gurl was another gurl. hehehe. sounds like he is deeply in luv with her and is in complete denial. but not looking at that, she still should not be Ghosting her friends.

i mean this guy is cringey and beta orbiter AF, and theres a very important lesson to learn there, but she still shouldnt be Ghosting him like a coward, throwing away 3 years of friendship, and getting her new bf to laugh at him and call him pathetic (which he is.)

dont be like this pvssy phaggot. but at least he is getting a CS degree so he might be making 30k a year by age 22. that is a pretty good move.  i mean its still risky because i worked with CS grads doing the exact same phone bullshit as me.

bonus points for OP having mad anxiety and panic attacks that feel like heart attacks and he is so confused hhahaha.

better when you are 21 than 31!

then reddit shreds this kid for being a sexist, creepy niceguy, which he kind of IS, but this ISNT the way to deal with that. you have to show some sympathy for these poor sad bastards. theyre not the bad horrible people you think they are !!!!!!!!

he doesnt need to “RESPECT” her wishes because they’re not respectable. just use the word ACCEPT. ACCEPT her stupid, unrespectable wishes, and let her get fooked by chad. the end.

grieve and have legitimate suffering because your friend of 3 years didnt give a DAMN about you as a human being. i feel your pain man. that sucks. this is the sympathy he’s not getting ANY of and he should.

anyway. i wish you COULD be Just Friends with a woman before Dating and Fooking and Relshiping them, because unless I am Friends with a Woman, i really just dont LIKE them. the way they approach Relships is degenerate and infuriating. I just dont like it. rustles the shit out of me.

I wish you COULD get to know a woman as a friend, be like this is a really good person and i like them, maybe I can try a deeper rel with them, i think they would make a decent GF or wife. i wonder if she will be willing to try that.

NOPE. NEVER WILL. thats what the friendzone is hahahaha. if you dont fook her like a n1993r within 2 days of meeting her, you dont have a chance with making her your GF or wife.

i just hate how the J’s are dumbing us down and jooing us down and morally corrupting us all down into n1993rs.

If you don’t like the word n1993rs, just call em animals. they are turning us all into filthy, dumb, dirty, disgusting ANIMALS.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!!!

anyway yeah this reddit niceguy hate is just way out of line. niceguys arent THAT bad. have some damn SYMPATHY for them. save some of that judgment for the women, who in many cases are being huge bitches to the niceguys.

but yeah this guy needs to stay away from this gurl, and there needs to be more blame directed at HER.

when you are begging and bribing somebody to hang out with you. it IS pathetic tho! but its SAD. he doesnt even REALIZE hes in LUV with her. at least I REALIZED that. and i STOPPED contacting her eventually. let her run off and fook animals.

and yeah it would help that guy to go to a shrink, but good lord dont tell him you are SUPER FOOKED UP and must see a shrink NOW if you have any chance of not being a horrible person. they hate these nice guys almost as much as they hate TRVMP or WHITE PEOPLE.

i was thinking in an ideal world, i would just get a dr to prescribe me Medical MJ for Despair and Anxiety, just like getting an RX for Citalopram and Valium. Which I have already gotten RX’s for.

so in an ideal world, despair and anxiety would be legal medical Qualified Conditions for MMJ.  but they arent.

anyway i was thinking, go to semi shady MMJ doctor and be like listen, so i dont have cancer or back pain like most of the people, but i dont want to bullshit you and say i have CARPAL TUNNEL pain when i really dont, but here’s something I REALLY DO HAVE, and have taken RX’s for YEARS to PROVE it, i know they arent TECHNICALLY conditions, but…..hey i’ll buy ya dinner right now, you’re pretty hungry from writing recommendations all day arent ya goy? bubby?

the thing is, i could say that my TREATMENT for OTHER CONDITIONS causes SPASMS, and then i could get MMJ for that. yeah but it doesnt. but i think citalopram causes spasms for some people hahahahaha.

basically the TREATMENT for something Unqualifying, gives me a Backdoor into Qualifying.

but not really, because this treatment doesnt cause spasms or severe pain!

https://www.reddit.com/r/altright/comments/5e7rbu/emily_youcis_animator_of_alfred_alfer_ama/

meh i guess i will approve of emily, she seems to be sincere. hope her animation bcomes less degenerate and she seems to be aware that by joining the alt right and becoming pro white, you kinda HAVE to hold yourself to a higher moral standard and actively purge the degeneracy from your own life.

but she’s only been into this for less than 6 months! i have been into this for like 6 years!!!!!!!

heh i dont really care as long as she is sincere and doesnt stop being pro white. she talks about losing friends and such and purging people. this is good.  purge the dead weight and bad influences from your life. Traditional Morality will alienate you from degenerate animalistic losers. you dont want them to be your friends anyway.

fine i will HUHWHYTE KNIGHT for emily even though shes probably taken MILES AND MILES of dick, prob even nonwhite (no real proof.) but i am willing to forgive, if there is TRUE repentance.

well i dont really like these super big bewbs gurls plus she will probably start to get very potato looking when she gets older. but at age 26 right now she is pretty qt, would hang out with hahahahahahahaha.

i mean better late than never amirite. im no saint myself. you know what they say, all saints have a past and all sinners have a future!

i went to this other church this morning and it was 100000000000000 times better than the one i usually go to. not only was it less boring and faster, there were a lot more whites, some qt young white women as well! i mean i already KNEW this for at LEAST a YEAR!!!!!

like the priest at my regular church, nice guy, good guy, but a pathetic cuck shitlib who is soooo shocked at the hate and racism and intolerance of the whitelash, and desperately wants to overcompensate and Reach Out to Mudslims to show them Not All White Christians are hateful rednecks.

whereas at the other church, no mention of this stuff, just a bunch of happy white people, including many under-40’s.

all the whites at my usual church are well over 40 hehehehe. plenty of nonwhites.

shit. starting NEW JOB tomorrow. have been doing laundry. planning on bringing 1 dozen donuts tom morning. ask people about their families. ask about what are good books for me to read about this field. i am already reading bla bla by bla bla. here’s some donuts. do you guys drink coffee? i can bring in some folgers, i have some extra folgers at home. sorry its not top shelf, but i can bring in a little top shelf closer to xmas. heres some donuts in the meantime. how many kids u got. where are they going to college? tell me about your graduate program. what do you think about the 14 words hahahaha. so how about that election hahahahaha.

can i take a tough phone call right now? what are the toughest problems you get in here from your “customers”? whats the best way to bullshit them and give them the runaround and say it cant be fixed, it is what it is, you dont have to like it hahahahaha jk i know we go above and beyond for our clients wink wink nudge nudge amirite?

besides, everybody knows that when “it is what it is” just wont cut it, you have to bring out it is what it IS what it is what it is. then that fixes everything. that explains everything. that gets angry people to say OH NOW I GET IT, im so sorry for being such a huge bitch. now that i realise that it is what it IS what it is!!!!! see before, i was thinking it IS what it is.

mother fooking phaggot cvntz hahahaha.

i was thinking i dont DESERVE a woman Without A Past, because IIIIII have a past myself!!!!!!!!!!!

ok fine, but i DO insist the woman is TRULY REPENTANT of her degenerate past! says I am ashamed of my past, i never want to have another abortion, or fook another nonwhite, or have any more casual sex!!!!!! its disgusting and here’s why! I REGRET doing all that.

rather than someone that says oh that makes me who i am, i’m not ashamed, i have no regrets.

GOOD PEOPLE HAVE REGRETS.

shit I have tons of regrets, tons of shame, tons of remorse and repentance for all the degenerate animal shit IVE done. so I DO want THAT much from muh formerly degenerate waifu hahahaha.

if you dont have regrets, I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU hehehehe.

the bad shit youve done SHOULD be regretted.

muh dbt book says to try not to be judgmental. notice all the times you make a judgment throughout the day, bad OR good, and just let them float away like leaves on a stream.  just observe stuff mindfully and without judgment.

this struck me as kinda weird. i can see trying to stop your bad judgments, but the good ones too?

i mean i make 148800000000000000000000000000000000000000000 negative judgments a day. every damn person i see i judge them. i was sitting in church watching the nice white people coming back from communion and i was judging each and every one of them harshy: fatty. f4ggot. dirty dago. ugly. fat slob. pig. dog. disgusting animal. sissy. nice haircut phaggot. nice manbun phaggot. nice potato shaped body. your kids are brats. your wife is a slut. you have dyed hair, you must be a slut. how many cox you take. how many black guys. how many abortions. wow, fat AND a smoker, youre in great health, you no self discipline weakling.

i mean its truly ridiculous how many negative judgments i make about people, many many many times a day. so YEAH i AGREE, trying to be conscious of that and not doing that would be a GREAT step for me.

really i am nowhere NEAR as HATEFUL and judgmental when i am with actual real people. i always think the best of them.

but from a distance, when i am alone just thinking of people in the abstract, or people watching people from a distance, god damn, its a hugeass hatefest!!!!!!

no not violent hate, but still very bitter butthurt negative pessimistic cynical recrimination!

and WHAT DOES IT GET ME?

HOW DO I BENEFIT?

WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME?????

NOTHING!

at a more moderate level, it would have been a natural response to people who have hurt me in the past with slutty or immature or fat or ugly or irresponsible behavior.

but the healthy way for me to do that is to say, ok, here are some red flags to watch out for, but im not gonna look for those red flags in EVERYBODY, and im sure not gonna get MAD about it if they havent done anything to ME.

but yeah. its like my automatic reaction to seeing a person, is to have a NEGATIVE JUDGMENT about them. this is not good!

fat, ugly, slut, phaggot, degenerate. usually one of those. douchebag, asshole, bitch, weirdo, autist, spazz, moron.

i cant stop judging people hahahahaha.

STILL, i INSIST that its worse for women to go out there and let themselves be used as pieces of sex meat, that it is for pathetic omega virgins to jerk off to jooish porn. because in one you have essentially two people hurting each other, in the other, you have one loser hurting himself.

but dont get me wrong, porn is horrible and i am ASHAMED and REGRETFUL that i ever looked at it. well, that i looked at it so MUCH.

and tbh, i was only a little above average i think for American Men Of My Generation. Many men are much, much worse. i was nowhere NEAR a Porn Addict.

hmm sorta watching this movie the lost weekend, i mean i had watched this intently a few years ago, and i think after i stopped drinking as well, and had gained some Understanding of the Baffling Cunning “Disease”, and i still found the movie disappointing and corny, and for some reason it seems better now.

i mean ive been on the straight and narrow path here for the last damn 7 years basically. no booze, a little bit of MJ though. not enough imho hahahahahahaha. gradually became more Alt Right, more JQ, less degen, more principled, just a better person hahaha. although unfort more of a virgin neet loser too hahahaha.

well its been up and down tho. ebb and flow.

was driving home and saw this fat guy and his fat wife in my neighborhood who are always sitting in their backyard smoking cigarettes and being fat, and i thought wow, fat and smoking, good choice buddy, and then i thought ok i shouldnt JUDGE him, he very well could be a very very very nice kind man, very courageous, very strong. nobody is perfect, me neither, and so he just happens to be a fat smoker. nobodys perfect and what if he’s very very nice.

how often do i need to bring in donuts? i dont want to more than once every 2 weeks.

you gotta ask the right questions. what if i ask the WRONG questions? what if i ask DUMB questions???!!?!

so show them i am smart by quoting Big Thought Leaders in this Education Related Field. I read some education books right? hehehe yes the only education books i read were “dumbing us down” by gatto and “the unschooling handbook” by some woman.

both very anti establishment sort of stuff. but which may be considered moer establishment in 2016.

i mean i really SHOULD be more interested in the Field of muh job. which all I will say it is SOMEWHAT education related.

so yeah i think education is bullshit ahhahahahahhahahahaha. all education should be handled by parents.

yeah well what about college level stuff. the job im doing COULD ACTUALLY BE LEGIT USEFUL to a HUHWHYTE NATION as regards “homeschooling” college/grad level material to Learners. It’s GOOD because it can put you into direct contact with Experts and Instructors while minimizing the JOOISH DEGEN (((((COLLEGE EXPERIENCE))))), i will just say that.

MINIMIZING IT!

so yeah this is actually a REALLY good position to be in and i shoul dbe  MOAR grateful!

maybe i should bring bagels instead of donuts? i mean i will actually eat bagels later if people dont eat them all. its easier to save and eat bagels later than donuts.

now you could still use this technology to deliver jooish marxist frankfurt skool degeneracy and mindkilling soulkilling poison into the brains of students, but again, its just a TOOL, that can be used for good OR for bad.

if it helps even one white neet get a good paying job one day, then its worth it.

so in a way, i am working in support of my Dream Career by Helping White Neets.  UP FROM NEETNESS.

well, if they are doing education, technically they are not a neet then hahahahahaha. well how about neets who are only involved in education, because its a LOT easier to go to college than to Get A Job. you just pay shitloads of money (take out loans) and go to some shitty school hahahaha.

honestly just go to your local community college. i PROMISE you its not THAT shitty. better than fookin DEVRY. talk about fookin SKYPES.

besides, to get a good job, you cant just have book knowledge and do good in online college courses. you have to be good with PEOPLE. CUSTOMERS. you have to have MAD CHARISMA and not be autistic!

so how do all these autists get jobs?

uhh the ones that dont get stem degrees from good colleges DONT! they become neets!

so would i feel more comfortable lying to the MMJ doctor about Carpal Tunnel or Back Pain, or Lying about getting Spasms from the meds i take for muh Severe Despair?

great now the poor beta orbiter kid who was in love with his female friend was bullycided into removing his post. because hes such a HORRIBLE PERSON. good lord they hate these pathetic niceguys more than they hate Raepists. seriously. right now he is probably blaming the shit out of himself for being such a horrible person. and he wont let himself grieve properly for a relationship that “didnt exist.” yeah well if he knew her for THREE YEARS it DID exist, no matter how close she felt to HIM, no matter what these degenerate bullies on /relships say.

THAT KID IS BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!

there is ANOTHER post about an opposite secs best friend at the top of the relships hotlist!

GUESS WHAT /R/RELSHIPS, WHEN YOUR “BEST FRIEND” IS THE OPPOSITE SECS, RIDICULOUS DRAMA ENSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess you can be “friends,” but to identify as “best friends”? HELL NO.

sheeeeeeeeeit tuff times buddy. im sure reddit will say he is a horrible person for thinking he is entitled to something.

yep sad shit man. well at least you can do your JOB and shit you got a NEW JOB within 8 months of getting heartbreakingly dumped! so id say youre doing pretty well. just work 80 hours a week at your new job and smoke MJ the rest of the time. use MJ to bribe tinder wh0res into nihilistic secs hahahaha.

did i get jealous because they were leaving me, or did they leave me because i was getting jealous?

i think i kept my jealousy under wraps PRETTY DAMN WELL until it became clear they were pulling away from me, talking to other guys, and then i’d say i had a PRETTY GOOD REASON to get jealous hehehehe.

so yeah i dont eer push women away because i am “THE JEALOUS TYPE.”

heres a good quote from this one:

”   [–]PaHoua 4 points 49 minutes ago
If you’re the one broken up with, it is very likely you’ll take much longer to move on than the dumper. That person has already been “mourning” the loss of the relationship for a long time and when they finally came to terms with it is when they decided to commit to the action of dumping you.
Think of it like the five steps of grief: 1. Denial; 2. Bargaining; 3. Anger; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
When she reached Acceptance, you weren’t even aware of what was to come. Then she dumped you. You moved into Denial.
This happened to me. I moved back and forth between all of the stages until I got into Acceptance. He was dating within weeks and probably earlier, whereas I remained in between stages for a couple of years.
It takes as long as it takes. That’s all anyone can tell you.     ”

wow a woman saying something very reasonable hahahahaha

 

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

july 23

had weird nightmare that people were gradually being taken over by aliens. like body snatchers but they didnt look like humans at all, they looked more like Giant HR Giger Xenomorphs.

funny that you seem to be sleeping the deepest when you are having a terrifying nightmare that you WANT to wake up from. normally you LIKE and WANT to be sleeping deeply. but not now.

is it a good or a bad thing when an employer makes you  print out and sign an application and makes you come in to the office between 4:30pm to drop off the physical papers?

it sounds embarrassingly behind the times, like you’re hiding behind this outdated procedure and will keep the best candidates away.

but there’s also the argument that its a barrier to entry that will keep the WORST candidates away.

so, are you keeping away GOOD candidates, or keeping BAD candidates away?

probably BOTH tbh. you just snip off the outlying tails: the very best AND the very worst.

is it worth it?

but then this is a municipal position where quality is not necessarily necessary!

but companies can be inefficient as fook TOO. and managers much more incompetent than the people they manage.

well, the BEST candidates will eventually find jobs anyway, and probably not without having to go thru 20 interviews, or submitting six hundred applications.

in other words, i am more bad than good hahahaha. on the bad side of the bell curve hehehehe. below average. how do below average people get jobs? by looking for BELOW AVERAGE JOBS.

having an honest perception of what YOUR value on the market really is.  be like, i’m not worth much, and I know it.

but i kinda want the municipal, unionized, 37.5 hours a week, job, so i will follow their EMBARRASSINGLY OUTDATED policies of printing out the pdf.

do they just not KNOW how to accept applications electonically? there are LOTS of people out there who dont know how 2 email, how to add attachments to an email, cant grok how to make passwords for an account. hell no will they know how to set up a pdf to accept a verified signature.

shit you dont even NEED a signature. you can just type in your full name, or check this box to act as your signature.

or just email a god damn resume and cover letter and be done with it.

but noooooooooooooooooo.

I’ve got to PRINT OUT SIXTEEN PAGES and do a signature in ink.

but its a 34k job. kind of out of my league no?

yeah well i have recently interviewed for a 40k a year job mother fooker hahahaha.

aaannnnddd the professional woman i interviewed with on wednesday is not gonna accept my linkedin invite, even though she has 250 connections. well i didnt EXPECT her to anyway. but i am still ENTITLED to call her a bitch hahahaha even though my EXPECTATIONS were MANAGED hahahaha.

the LANGUAGE these people speak! so gay. GAY.wav. YOU FAIRY.wav.

http://www.realmofdarkness.net/pc/sb/pacino/3

oh lord soundboards hahahahahaha

i dont care if david mamet is a HUGE joo, this is still a great movie.

stands the test of time better than woody allens immoral filth.

i am thinking david mamet is way more moral than woody allen.

hopefully. i’m certainly willing to throw mamet in the oven too if he doesnt pass the test.

thats emblematic of muh confusion and weakness, i used to be a HUGE woody allen fan. I thought his neurotic bullshit was SOPHISTICATED and INTELLIGENT.

i still dont really want to crap on “hannah and her sisters”, prob my fav allen film.

but i can definitely crap on it where needed. like its never ok to cheat on your wife with your wifes sister. or to cheat on your boifran with your sisters husband. and woody allen attempting to write goy characters is more insulting and patronizing than women writing male characters hahahaha.  he makes the goys so weak and jooish rather than strong and proud.

absolutely no need to watch woody’s homages to bergman, just watch bergman instead, and there’s big problems with bergman too. he was a white goy but imho he symbolizes sweden becoming jooified. behind every swede there is a joo rubbing his hairy merchant hands hahahaha. be like the poles and throw the bums out.

it’s hard to see all this when you are a 20 year old child swept up in the romanticism of it all.

so youre a jooish neet offended by my anti jooishness? too bad. have your rich father get you a job and get you expensive psych md’s. go to the jcc and bang 18 year jooish sluts. become a counselor at joocamp and bang the female joocamp counselors. just dont get butthurt when theyre banging all the other male counselors. and administrators.

its easier for whites to become neets than joos, because in the current year, joos have a better social support system. your whole family can be poor white trash doing meth and drinking moonshine. there’s no counterpart in the jooish community. every joo has a rich uncle or cousin. doctors, lawyers, executives, business owners. shit you could probably get a job in israel too.  i have no desire to help joos. they have enough help. my fellow goyim are the ones who NEED help in this area.

the fatherland made a good point in epsidoe 36 (i think), the one with jeronimus guest and in fatherland after dark hour 3, they talked about “The BQ” and using MJ.

they made the good point that even though MJ is degenerate, you dont need to get into a Purity Spiral about it, and if you Do MJ once a year to help you Bond Deeper with your Wife, that is fine. Exec Producer Bradan “Killer of Dogs” tells story about how he was having marital trouble so they went to a church sponsored marriage retreat. there was an implied point which I would have made explicit: oh you mean his wife didnt just leave him when the going got tough? she was willing to go get marital help with him, and put in effort to WORK through the tough times? good.

anyway part of the thing was they got a night in a nice hotel, so they decided to go to the washington state legal MJ dispensary and get some brownies to spice up the night. they had a lot of fun and did not turn into degen MJ zombies like 75% of MJ users.

point is, degen things, in MODERATION, are not so bad.

except being a slut and giving up secs to strangers easily. but that was never on the table. these are men doing degen things in strcit moderation with their LONGTERM MONOG WIVES.

like the idea of doing Butt Stuff with your Wife just once to say you did it. totally different than crazy butt sluts getting random bar badbois to do me in the ass.

they mentioned a degenerate bar that was doing a “walk of shame” promotion by giving free bloody marys to any woman who showed a receipt for PLAN B purchase. we all agreed that was absolutely disgusting.

i felt bad for jeronimus because he didnt have the best showing. he could have done a lot better and I think he was just having an off day. he sounded a bit like an autist and also was not talking where his opinion would have been very welcome by me.

i can relate. like where you just have a BAD DAY and then the whole world judges you for that. and you know you’re having a bad day but you just can’t shake it. you just have to survive through it, try to get good sleep, and hopefully tomorrow will be better. but when everyone is judging you and thinking youre a loser and an autist and an ubermensch and a neet just because you’re having a bad day and you can’t communicate quite right…….that SUCKS.

its HARD to be at the top of your communication game at all times, especially when talking to people all day.

that’s why I will always accept emails as valid form of communication too hahahahaha. shit, take a few days and email me when you are having a better day.

so i gotta drive out there during working hours, which normies could not do, print out 16 pages of paper, which could probably cost 1$ to mail which normies would have to do, then pay 25c at the parking meter hahaha. just to Drop Off a job application.

hungary. another great country. white as hell. weird asian language but that hasnt stopped finns from being great. and hungarians are probably less asian than finns ahahahahahhahaha.

you know your gf is at least a 7 when you can honestly say you would LIKE to see her in a bathing suit, especially a 2-piece “bikini” type. if the thought makes you cringe…..she is below a 7 for sure. and i would never want to be with that type of woman long term, or Create New Life with her!

yeah physical attraction is crude, but its necessary even for a principled moral nondegenerate. needless to say, i found That Woman very attractive. technically she was a 7, but 7 is still pretty good, and with my luv for her, she skyrocket to an 8, 9, or 10. WIFE GOGGLES. LUV GOGGLES. I would have LUVED to see her in a bathing suit. all that soft white flesh.

people are FAT because they are so busy WORKING they dont have TIME to eat and be healthy. Since they are WORKING 60 hours a week at least, having working lunches, all they can do is get fast food, and INHALE the fast food while they do their WORK. and THAT is why people are morbidly obese.  and then even if all you did after you got out of work between work and bed, was exercise, it wouldnt be enough to burn off all that god damn mcdonalds you ate like a pig. an overworked pig hahahaha.

its not uncommon for people to have heart attacks and die on the job, i learned. doesnt have to be a physical job at all. they just need to be fat and unhealthy and older. spend all day eating fast food, drinking soda, dealing with 90000 angry customers, and you giving them the runaround on their confusing issues because it costs too much to fix the problem with your shitty product and erything is a goddamn charade, you get stressed out, boom heart attack dead.

great. how fancy do i have to dress up for dropping off a damn application? i mean its the hottest part of the summer (which i am very thankful for, i luv hot weather), its 90 degrees out there so….

i mean i will dress up for the job, i will dress up for an interview and wear a suit coat in 90 degree waether while i wipe my forehead with paper towels, but dropping off an application? i havent dropped off an application in 3 years hahahaha. and that was for a damn municipal job too. noticing a pattern here. cities are inefficient and incompetent hahahaha and only survive because they are public tax supported leviathans.

kinda want to get some sun early in the afternoon. like 1 pm.

ok did that. did 2.8 mile powerwalk in 95 degree weather, about 55 minutes, got some good sun, vitamin d, took shower.

sheeeeit. 1 year into The Recovery and only now am I realizing that SHE DIDNT KNOW ME AS WELL AS I THOUGHT SHE DID.

In other words WE WERENT AS CLOSE AS I THOUGHT WE WERE.

I thought we were close because I knew alot about her. women don’t usually let me get that close. (but they spread their life creators for random men for instant gratification like ingras.)

really? you think its SPECIAL that a WOMAN is TALKING ABOUT HERSELF?

heh well i did because she didnt seem like a narcissist exhibitionist and actually had a private life.

but point im trying to make, did she really know ME? HELL NO!!! She didnt know about my past with women, she didnt know the story of muh high school and college years, she didnt know that much about my life prior to when i started working at the easy job with her.

i mean, i dont really LIKE talking about these things with people, and she didnt really want to PRY them out of me. the result is, she didn’t know ME NEARLY as wel as I knew HER.

and yeah that was my fault. mostly.

but it also explains how she could forget about me a LOT easier than I could forget about her. she didnt really KNOW me.

hehehehe it’s not really a POSITIVE, feelgood realization hahaha.

maybe if she REALLY knew me, she would have DITCHED me a LOT EARLIER.

and THAT would have been GOOD because it would have saved me a lot of pain!

lesson: make sure they know YOU just as much as you know THEM. if they are telling you intimate things about themselves, return the favor with telling them intimate things about you.

nobody told me that being a WEIRDO would make you a loser with women and with friends…….but it would ALSO affect your ability to MAKE A LIVING as nobody wants to HIRE a WEIRDO.

NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE A WEIRDO. 

heheheh.

thing is, i’m not THAT weird, i am just shy and quiet and boring and lame. i am not a total psychopath, i just have really low quality. like an ahtlete with a really low rating. im just shitty at everything hahahahaha.

too boring, too shy, too wimpy, too quiet, too prudish, too nervous, too awkward, too lame.

also you GOT to have something wrong with you to be 30+ years old and never had a REAL gf. theres a huge red flag there!

so because of THAT people think I am a psycho weirdo creep…..but really I never had a GF because I not too weird, but just didn’t quite make the grade. like a DUD. almost made the minimum, but not quite.

he’s not a PSYCHO, he’s just BELOW THE MINIMUM, hahahahahaha.

why would a company keep re-posting a job like a month later?

why would they delete all the resumes they were sent the first time around?

because none of the 1000 resumes the first time were good enough?

they are holding out for a better candidate, than the 1000 candidates they have got so far?

why not just call the best person out of that 1000?

because the best person out of that 1000 wasn’t good enough, so now they’re gonna try to get a NEW 1000?

or is it just Job Growth Theater? its not a real job opening? they don’t intend to EVER fill this “job?” it just makes it LOOK like their company is doing well, or the economy is doing well?

you think their Office Manager even knows? you’d have to talk to the area manager or president or ceo or board. and you aren’t gonna talk to them. you can’t.

and even if you COULD, you think they’d tell YOU? Joe Flabeetz off the the Streetz?

thinking about recreationally using nyquil during the day, same way I would smoke an MJ if i had some.

no, OF COURSE i would not go over the dosage because im aware of the dangers of acetominophen, unlike women or nonwhites.

so bradan fatherland is like 40 years old and has only done MJ like 3 times in his life. and he lives in damn washington where its LEGAL. i dont think we need to worry about HIM. No I like him a lot, he is very laid back and much less autistic than jim, and probably more fun to hang out with hahahaha.

i mean i really like all the guys on the show. ryan no1 i might have the most mancrush on because he is a total alpha male, very charismatic, and probably has an attractive 7 or above wife hhahahaha. and otto just seems like a very nice, friendly, down to earth guy. jim is the most ridiculous and autistic, but he’s a good guy too.

but i also think about george feels. so he lives in colorado and DOESNT do MJ, that says a lot in my book. ANYONE who lives in a legal weed state and isnt 420 blaze it all day long. not that thats a good thing! its DEGENERATE to use MJ every day! smoke weed erry day! THATS DEGENERATE AF!!!!! but i can totally understand it, IVE BEEN THERE, and I might go back there again. it TEMPTS me like none other.

George feels, i think it might help him tho. prob better than him drinking. not that he drinks THAT much. oh you drank 5 beers last night. get back to me when you are drinking at least 12 beers a day. and go on binges where you stay up all night drinking over a Fifth of Hard Booze getting wasted AF. I dont think george does this. he drinks 4 or 5 ciders or guinesses a few nights a week and feels all guilty about it. he’s not even driving around drunk hahahaha.

get back to me when you are drinking cheap malt liquor, cheap bottom shelf whiskey, or cheap boxed wine.

people who want to get drunk so bad they will drink steel reserve WARM.

just the thought of it makes me nauseous now. thank god. that is the proper reaction.

this is why i like podcasts with 2 people having an interview or conversation. they can pull you out of Downward Spirals of Negative Thoughts, and you can do the same for them. Which is why i think it would be a real neat thing for me to have a Skype Talk with George Feels.

more than 2 people, it gets tricky, like on the fatherland. then some people dont talk so much. 3 is do able but 4 is prob too much.

same deal with the millennial woes hangouts. prob why i stopped listening to those. just too many damn people.

2 people is my sweet spot.

HA, company wants references who are NOT former employers/managers, but who have been your NEIGHBORS for 3 to 5 years. Apparently Eggy got butthurt at this and was rude to the recruiter hahahaha.

i have seen a few applications ask for Non Work References, so I just used the same Work References as usually do. I never had a real life recruiter ask for them though.

well eggy will be blacklisted by that recruiter…..but recruiters are bullshit anyway basically meant to keep people AWAY from jobs. more job theater. i mean they never get back to you anyway. except maybe with eggy they put a note in his file saying this guy is an autist who got angry at the recruiter. if they even have a system for cases. candidate tracking system. they just throw everything away hahahaha. SORRY WE HAVE NO RECORD OF THAT.

just curious. WHY do recruiters ask for non work related references?

to paint a FULLER PICTURE of you than employers can give? to really know what kind of person you are? to screen out weirdos and neets and autists that do good work but are antisocial and weird? again, its all bullshit designed to turn people AWAY. they REALLY DONT CARE. NEVER has a non work related reference MADE THE DIFFERENCE. i just want to see the kind of bullshit the recruiters say about why they do this jooery.

http://www.askamanager.org/2013/04/why-do-employers-ask-for-personal-references-rather-than-professional-ones.html

i actually respect and sort of trust askamanager’s opinion. and she agrees personal references are BULLSHIT. THANK YOU.

ok just had some nyquil. 6.11 pm.

today is the type of PERFECT DAY to go to the lake. 90 degrees all day, HOT and sunny. i wanted to go to the lake but i didnt want to go alone. and i couldnt think of anyone i wanted to go to the lake with……except YOU KNOW WHO. and i havent talked to her in a YEAR.

what would alpha male do? just go to the lake alone and then make tons of hawt young female friends when he shows up by being all charismatic.

COMPANIES should run SCHOOLS. currently schools, even GOOD schools, can’t guarantee that you will be employable. if Companies Ran Schools For Children, K-12, this wouldn’t happen.

If Companies Ran Schools….well at the very least the kids would be prepared for a job at that company hahahaha.

schools would just be 12 years of job training.

why dont they just do that?

but then again, i am a fooking OUTLIER. most normies who go to normie skool get normie jobs.  i am only speaking for 1% of the popular. the real WEIRDOS.

but I’m not a WEIRDO, I’m just SUBPAR, hahaha. SUBMINIMUM.  just Not Good Enough, Unfortunately.  Not what we were looking for, sorry.

well, thank you for saying sorry at least! hahahaha.

instead of saying B+ or B or A in your job bookmarks, i have started putting like B+, APPLY!!! in them, so I know which ones I am more serious about applying for. because that’s all that REALLY matters. am I REALLY gonna apply to this one or not. Some job you know right away. those you put APPLY!!! in the bookmark title so you can spot them quickly, when you are ready to apply for a few jobs and want to take a break from scouring the damn indeed list of fake jobs hahaha.

i thought about how i wanted to take HER to the lake and beach and stare at her big pale white ass in a bathing suit and then have luving but masculine pair bonding secs with her.

then i thought, well she’s just doing that with someone else now. well, she’s probably working at her new job, making 16 dollars an hour, which i can never hope to make. and shell have a long hard day and then see her new boifran and night and get some long hard dick to relieve all that stress.

FINE. you can take all the dicks you want. just TREAT ME THE WAY YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED. TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND A HEART. JUST BE NICE TO ME.  you can take all the black cok you want, just BE NICE to me when you dump me.

If i were to do skypes, i’d do one with george feels, def do one with millennial woes, do some with these guys from depression forums. maybe one with a fatherland guy. hahahaha assuming any of those guys would say yes to the idea hahahaha.

i have two main interests apart from muh own navelgazing: huhwhyte nationalist and loser neet feels hahahaha. maybe GOD wants me to combine the two.

well, lemme just say I’m very comfortable speaking for the loser neet feels community. I am NOT comfortable at all speaking for the other community.  i just CANT. they dont want losers speaking for them, shit I dont want losers speaking for them, as a loser I dont WANT to speak for them.

maybe GOD is trying to teach me a lesson to not be racist, and he is gonna answer my prayers in a mysterious way. like i want to have a white waifu and have white children, maybe what GOD will do is send me a stumpy potatoey laotian single mother and i will get to be a surrogate father to her asian bastards, to teach me that Race doesn’t really matter, and that you can love children who aren’t your children as if they ARE your children.

and I would say to the LORD, sorry but thats just not good enough. I asked for WHITE children. white biological children of my own. that was the MINIMUM. you gave me SUB MINIMUM. I do not accept your halfass answer to my prayers. dont you have a QUALITY department hahahahaha. this one is a DUD, hahaha. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. GOTTA DO BETTER, LORD.

the lord works in mysterious ways. sometimes to our prayers he says yes, sometimes he says no, and sometmes he says NOT YET. OR, i’m gonna answer your prayer, but in a totally different way than you expected. you want a wife, i’m gonna send you an ugly nonwhite white to teach you lesson about not being racist and lookist.  its only the NONRACIST people that get wives of their own race, hahahaha. they don’t have any lessons they needed to learn

discipline. being able to do things you don’t like doing, because you HAVE to do them.

of course i try to JOO this by saying, well, i’ll DO it, just dont expect a good job.

NOPE. it STILL has to have good quality. no slacking on quality. DISCIPLINE is not only about doing things when you dont want to do them………but still doing them WELL. HORRY SHEET.

i am an expert in grudgingly, half assedly doing stuff, because i dont like it, i dont want to do it.

yet i dont get good results, because i do the stuff half assed! like maybe i am half assing all these 300 job appliations, because I am not painstakingly crafting every application to the job. because i am only spending 12 minutes per application rather than 30 minutes per application.  i have my Plug And Play sentences in my cover letter…..but the WHOLE COVER LETTER isnt tailored. BUT MAYBE IT SHOULD BE.

but yeah. funny that if two despairers are talking to each other, you can help pull back the other person from spiralling down into despair, being nice to them. but you cant do that with yourself!!!!!! this is a very interesting thing. there is something we can learn and use here.

namely, me talking here, or george making solo videos, is just beating a dead horse, a despair spiral. there needs to be checks and stop signs and guardrails and such to keep us from going off the track. and you can even have another despairer do that for you! they can help others better than they can help themselves!

and i think this is pretty cmmon among despairers!

so maybe this is the ultimate cure for despair: to help other people with despair.

and yeah thats the stated mission of this blog, always has been……..but in reality, its just been me whining about my own bullshit hahahaha rather than helping others.

oh eggy growing his nice long hair. i used to have nice long hair. but i was still a weird creep virgin. then i cut my hair and i sorta got some confidence briefly. then i wanted to grow my hair out again. but it was too late. i had quickly gone bald before age 30.  BRUTAL. shit i STILL might grow the SIDES long hahahaha.

its really not THAT weird for men to have barely any experience with women, like be 30+ and have never had a serious gf. but WOMEN think its WEIRD AS HELL, because they dont appreciate the natural differneces between men and women, and it IS realy weird for a woman to make it to 30 without having a serious boifran.

because women dont have to DO anything.

WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY, MEN ARE THE DEMAND.

women just do NOT understand this, and men understand it at least implicitly.

sex, relationships, luv, dating, cuddles, affection, making out, anything in that ballpark. women are the supply, men are the demand.

THE SUPPLY CANT DEMAND ITSELF.

The demand can’t supply itself, hahahahaha.

when the demand is high and the supply is low, the price is HIGH AS FOOK.

and the demand will NEVER be low, and the supply will NEVER be high.

well, the supply COULD be higher.  supply of good, decent, marriageable women that is.

july 24

deicide “stench of redemption” 2006 is seen as something of a comeback ater replacing old guitar players  with new ones. i liked a couple decide albums up to “serpents of the light” which i remember when that one came out when i was a total adolescent teen.  SotL was pretty good, then they went on an embarrassingly decline and I just STAHPPED and started listening to opeth and became too cool for deicide. then of course opeth became uncool and uninspired and boring and lame.

now i dont listen to music becuase music is dgenerate hahahaha.

but seriously i dont really care about music made after 2005 and there is plenty of stuff i missed the first time around. like the deicide “legion” album. or sepultura “schizophrenia”. or fookin racist russian black metal bands hahahaha.

i mean seriously. i should be the worlds biggest NSBM fan hahahahaha.

had some nyquil yesterday at like 6 pm, went to bed at 9:30 pm, slept pretty good, did not get out of bed till like 9:30 am, this is pretty standard for nyquil hahaha.

spent all sunday afternoon reading damn metal reviews hahaha.

ok the albums of the day are deicide legion

i never listened to this album and always knew it as “the most technical” deicide album. but decide was never a very technical band! i am really looking for old skool death metal that is br00tal and heavy. hoping there is a heavy guitar sound and blast beats. i am also trying to get a better feel for steve asheim as a drummer, since most people say he is a good drummer, but how good is he really? but i am also looking for something lowbrow, sincere, and badass.

of course later on “technical death metal” became a thing, (gorguts?) and “brutal death metal” became another thing (devourment?) so I am fully aware of that. which is also why i wanted to go back to 1992 before all that shit even existed.

other albums of today:

sepultura: schizophrenia and arise

axis of advance: strike

angelcorpse: exterminate

morbid angel: covenant

niden div 187: impergium

you know i bet at least 20% of men are like me, basically virgins who never had a gf, and women think it is SO WEIRD, BUT IT REALLY ISNT! 20% of men are like us……but women have never met any of us!

the mysterious leader of deathspell omega, hasjarl, is really a 37 year old man named christian bouche who owns a real estate company called sci trident or something and probably is a total EXTRAVERT NORMIE talking to CLIENTS all day and wearing a tailored SUIT and SMILING and Closing deals and making 100k a year and drives a NICE car and wears NICE clothes and probably has an ATTRACTIVE GF from all the money he’s making in real estate hahahahahaha. so how can you take his kvlt music seriously now hahahaha.

well DsO hasnt been relevant since 2012 anyway hahahahahahaha. why did they just STOP suddenly? did he just run out of steam? get too busy making money?

i am being facetious. i hope he makes plenty of money and more importantly, has plenty of white children and doesnt waste any more time on “orthodox satanism.” no such thing for a grown ass white man to be doing.

but again they havent done a damn thing since 2012. cuz he is too busy making money and having secs with attractive wimmin like a NORMIE hahahahaha.

so anyway thats my big thing for this post:

25% of men are 30 year old kissless virgins like me who never had a gf.  it’s NOT THAT WEIRD. women only think its weird because by DEFINITION, because all women have been In Rels, they’ve never really met one of these millions of men! also the men aren’t shouting this from the rooftops, because they are ashamed. they don’t talk about it with women. well i say they should! we should come out of the closet and tell every woman we know that we are huge virgins who never had a gf, just so women, and people in general, but especially women, and to us ourselves, we can see that we ARENT THAT WEIRD!

where am i getting this 25% number? i cant prove it……but YOU CANT PROVE IT EITHER!!!!!!

All about the seed of doubt. i don’t think I could say 50% of men. but 20 or 25%, yeah sure!

of COURSE none of the men women have fooked are VIRGINS! because theyre FOOKING them!!!!!

you’d have to look at the male orbiter friends of the women. certainly they are ashamed of being virgins, and the vain women doesn’t care enough to know.

see, you women ALREADY KNOW some Male Virgins Who Never Had A GF, you just never cared enough to ask! but yeah a good 30% of your Beta Orbiters are Virgins!

You think thats WEIRD? then cut them off of orbiting you! DO THEM A FAVOR!

and do it nicely too! but also be honest! be like, you’re not a bad guy, and this isn’t your fault. its MY fault. but there is NO chance between you and me. its not RIGHT for me to keep leading you on like this. its not RIGHT to use people for the attention and adoration. i will NEVER be your GF. find a woman who will.

heh. its like ive become more hateful against all women, after this one woman.

yet when i was getting along with that one woman, i wasn’t nearly as hateful towards all women. i was more balanced, less hateful.

basically i need to be getting along with at least one woman in order to “humanize” women for me, to show me that not all women are horrible, AND to give me the confidence that I CAN get along with a woman, and am not some Huge Weird Virgin who Repels Women.

it’s hard to not think like that when I don’t have any female friends hahahaha. no evidence to the contrary.

went for 4.2 minle pwoerwalk. listend to arise and legion. arise has great heavy guitar sound. i probably didnt fully understand or appreciate this when i first heard it when i was young and i preferred the “groove” stuff like chaos ad.  yes, i did like “roots.” NO, I did not like “against.” I had the first soulfly album but I didnt super like it. but it was better than “against” hahaha. but after that sepultura became shameful and max became shameful and I forgot that, together, they USED to be a force to be VERY reckoned with. like on “arise.” great metal album for any metal fan.

deicide legion was….also early 90s scott burns stuff. the first deicide i ever heard was “once upon the cross” 1995, which was sorta new at the time, and i remember seeing it in the record store and being frightened of how blasphemous and evil the cover was. like wow this deicide band is the most extreme thing ever. then my friend got the album and i made a tape of it because i was too scared to actually buy the album hahaha. but i enjoyed the album and it was my first real taste of Death Metal. and then serpents of the light came out and i was fully on board with that one. also listened to their live album which came out after that, it was a great live album. “when satan lives.” and also listened to their first album a bit. but totally skipped over “legion.”

so i listened to it today and it was pretty good. super distorted and kinda sloppy guitars. the bass mixes well with it though, you can always hear the bass rumbling.  drums sound pretty good, hold the chaos together. benton sounds hateful but not as intimidating as he did on “once upon the cross”, here he sounds more human. no he sounds fine, no problems there.

but yeah OUTC and SOTL are definitely more catchy than this. better riffs. but legion definitely has replay value. some MJ would help though. and I bet it sounds better loud on good speakers.

see i think goatwh0re knows how to get really good production. the stuff is clear, and heavy, and not super polished. but the guitars sound way heavier than say “legion.” although their newer stuff is not as Inspired as their Older Stuff. also their drums are never clicky. this is how guitars and drums should sound IMHO. basically if all metal albums sounded like that, I would be happy. purists will say its not raw enough. i saw it’s plenty raw enough. if it sounds TOO raw then it stops being HEAVY and just sounds like CARDBOARD.

Women think its SO WEIRD when a guy is a virgin and or nevergf. Theyre like EW WEIRD uh NO I never met any weirdos like that. Well shit yeah you have. every guy you rejected as being too nice or too weird. just look at your orbiters. if you treated your orbiters as people and ACTUALLY GOT TO KNOW THEM, you would find that some of them are virgin nevergfs.

TREAT PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE.

YES the orbtiers are dumb for orbiting around you like a servile puppy dog, but if you were a virgin nevergf desperate for a gf, youd do the same thing too.

GET TO KNOW YOUR ORBITERS. you will be surprised at what you learn. you could learn soemthing from their lives of quiet desperation hahahaha. gain some sympathy for nevergfs who are just lonely as fook. learn more about the nevergf/neverrel life. shit yeah its scary. be thankful that you will never know it. but you SHOULD make an effort to learn about it. because its the life many of your orbiters live, and you dont even KNOW.

NEVERGF. WE ARE LEGION. EXPECT US.

aajjajajaja. 25% of men baby.

well, it doesnt MATTER if a 16 year old or 18 year old boy is a virgin. it really starts being “WEIRD” around age 25. so, lets say 25% of men over 25 are nevergf virgins. there. BELIEVE IT.

IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE AND ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW THEM as people rather than adoration-showering objects, you’d see that you actually know a LOT of male nevergf virgins! ITS NOT THAT WEIRD!

hey it wasnt for lack of trying! I WANTED To make it work! THEY NEVER WANTED to make it work! They just wanted to WALK OUT and BAIL and leave me in the LURCH.

I didnt BAIL on the relship, THEY did!!!!!!! I wanted to put in the WORK, THEY didn’t!!!!!

thats why i am nevergf hahahaha.  its THEIR fault hahahahahaha.

when woman2012 dumped me (and she was VERY GOOD about it, but i was STILL upset), i was just starting to become friends with woman2015. I was getting along with her really well, but i couldnt even THINK of her like that, i was still obsessed with the other woman. but it was good that i could get along with a woman. talk to a owman normally. i don’t have that now. so i totally doubt my ability to talk to women, get along with women, have female friends, get along with women like human beings. i don’t have any of that at the moment like i did in 2012, 2013. 2014. some of 2015. although things were bad in 2015. worse than I even knew.

well i sorta get along with some women. i see peoples GF’s at my weekly social event. we are nice to eaach other and i do VERY small talk with them. but i had gotten closer to That Woman in ONE MONTH than i have gotten to any of these women. which isnt to say That Woman Moved FAST – just that we both got along really well and hit it off immediately and had small talk really easily and could just talk real easy about lots of stuff, in a way that I can’t just do with anybody and everybody. but some people CAN. especially women hahaha. they turn on the charm and make you feel special, but you’re really not hahahaha. how many guys has she done that with in the past year? how many new guys she fooked? met from dating sites? how many new omega virgin orbiters has she had that think they have such a special connection? how many chumps thought the same thing i did? WOW i just NEVER get along with WOMEN so well, this gurl is really SPECIAL!!!!!

but i can tell you she honestly wasnt a slut, was not an extravert, did not get out much, did not meet a lot of new people. at least back then. who knows what she’s become now. in the past year. and it just DOESNT MATTER because I will never know her again! but you can see i still want to!

i was thinking of getting hooker this year, maybe that would help. actually making the call wuld be the hardest.

also i would have to get a damn job of course.

get a damn job so i can buy MJ and get a hooker hahahahaha.

get blazed on MJ and then walk around for 2 hours listening to music and fatherland and george feels and self made podcasts of me reading Knowledge about whatever my ridic job is hahahahaha. trying to learn and know EVERYTHING so i am prepared for explaining the most ridiculous shit to angry callers day in day out. well WHY cant you help me. sorry just can. no you CANT speak to the supervisor. hes in a meeting. no we dont call people back.

why dont they teach THESE soft skills in schools? if COMPANIES ran schools, like they should……they WOULD!

heheheh why didnt SCHOOL teach me the things COMPANIES want in order to give me a JOB and PAY me ?!?!??!?!?! Like how to bullshit people who want to speak to a manager? like how to bullshit when something makes no sense but you have to handle it now and can’t pass it to someone else?

ht     tp://scottberkun.com/essays/53-how-to-detect-bullshit/

unfortunately, all the articles on the internet are on how to detect bullshit and how to destroy it…….not on how to CREATE IT CONVINCINGLY ON THE SPOT, UNDER PRESSURE, WHEN IT IS MOST NEEDED.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=how%20to%20come%20up%20with%20bullshit%20explanations%20on%20the%20spot

googles got NOTHING hhahahaha.

i mean my bullshit detector is pretty good. i think EVERYTHING is bullshit hahahah. i dont LIKE bullshit. i hate it. i dont WANT to do it. I just HAVE To do it to survive on muh job.

no i dont! i havent done this in a YEAR!

george feels said that his father, who had been unemployed for THREE long years, complained about his previous job like it had just happened YESTERDAY. it was that unpleasant, and that fresh in his mind still. its like you can be permanently SCARRED, george noted.

i kinda have that. it has been over a year, yet I can remember that unpleasant feeling as clear as day.

too bad I can’t remember detailed STORIES that I can use in an INTERVIEW to show how AWESOME and SMART and cool under pressure I am!

but yeah it IS stupid and scary and sad that a bad job can almost SCAR you like this.  hope you never know that feel, GEORGE. check your unscarred privilege hahahaha.

all this stuff on the internet on how to DEAL WITH bullshit, but NOTHING on HOW TO bullshit. so how do all these bullshitters learn? it just comes NATURALLY to them? it must! cuz I don’t see a single article TEACHING somebody HOW TO bullshit. I would really like to read that article.

no, there is ONE article out there, and its OK, but I need MUCH MORE.