ask somebody the worst heartbreak they ever had, ask a normalfag, and they will say oh it the first one when i was real young i was like 16 and muh high school sweetheart dumped me and i was very derpressed for 1 month. but then i banged 9000 gurls from 18-22 and never got too worked up about those sorta things, went out with some wimmin long term, i dumped them when i saw we were no longer compatible and had irreconcilable differences, no big deal, part of life, then eventually met a wimmin where we stayed fairly compatible and then we got married the end. until at age 40 and i was finally 40 and stable and making decent money and had 3 kids, then she divorced me to go eat pray love fook n suck, cuz she didnt really know why but she didnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel haaaaaaaaaaaaappy with me any more but just was not sure why. the end.
got muh 5.6 miles in today, though about nyquil but decided against it cuz pretty tired from shitty sleep yesterday.
i dont trust anyone who is not a virgin or who has ever had a long term rel. long term rel is the DEFINITION of normalfag.
shit i wish we had not worked together. the loss of job is making me way less confident, and more hateful and misanthropic and hopeless. job sucked but i probably could have handled it if she wasnt there, or if we worked in different rooms. but there was only one big room.
well, with this case, i probably would have wanted separate FLOORS.
i mean this is worst heartbreak ever.
no definitely separate FLOORS, and many days off for me, and i would have confronted her in person at work and said we need to talk NOW.
in hindsight i should have done that here too. things got so weird i stopped approaching her, last couple of times i talked to her, the Coldness was just insane and it was clear she did not want me talking to her at all. so then i stopped approaching her but i did try to instant message with her. those were completely ignored. she usually responded to muh instant messages even if very short shitty responses. because i was such a boring unfun weirdo creep and i wasnt fun to talk to any more hahahaha. see I was the bad guy and it was all my fault because i had ISSUES I couldnt get over. just because i was in luv with her didnt concern HER at all.
heh i hate this everybody is a damn island shit and you dont care when your friend has ISSUES and you just blame it on the person for not getting over their issues, when PART of the issues and them not getting over it, is YOU giving them the SILENT TREATMENT and refusing to talk about issues that are ABOUT you.
yeah i could have communicated better and instead of lets hang out lets hang out, i could have said more directly
“I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT THAT CONCERNS YOU.”
we dont need to have the talk rght now, but lets set an appointment for sometime in the next few weeks. i cant eat or sleep. it is important and it deals with you, its not all my issue.
by that time she should have a pretty good idea what its about hahahahaha.
MAYBE she knew why i was so adamant about talking to her in person, and she just didnt want to hear it, so she just kept blowing off the hangouts, because she had a pretty good idea of what i wanted to say, and that was too much for her to handle.
TOO MUCH TO HANDLE.
and then people SHUT DOWN.
that is a pretty good Occam Explanation, and we both had Too Much To Handle in different ways, and both shut down in diff ways.
she had too much to handle because she felt i became a completely diff person by having feels for her. and shut down by well giving me complete silent treatment forever.
i had too much to handle because i couldnt handle this brutal rejection and seeing her every day at our awful stupid insane job. it was not a good kind of fast paced but the worst kind. perfect shitstorm. and i shut down by “leave of abscencing” the awful job and havng a devastating heartbreak.
there was more personal pain and suffering for me, obviously.
“hes experienced more pain and suffering than any human being ive ever seen…….and he still has HELL to look forward to!”
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
it was fight or flight for both of us. i fleed by running frm the whole situation, she fleed by flying away from me.
but i should be entitled to some hate and anger hahahaha.
i am angry at her for refusing to talk at all, for not responding, for hurting me, for seemingly treating our entire past like nothing, by just running away and abandoning me and washing her hands of me, treating me like garbage to throw away, etc.
i know that might not have been her INTENT….. but its impossible to determine intent or anything when they just run away like this. there is a definite sense of leaving you hanging even though it is clear theyre saying its over. but its the worst closure ever. people have had better closure than this, fact.
so yeah i am feeling a bit SALTY and angry and hot and cold. just a bag of intense emotions towards her. honestly why cant she just write me an email.
because life isnt fair and people dont always treat you the way you want to be treated, sometimes they do you wrong, even if they dont mean to do you that wrong.
who CARES what she MEANT??? she still hurt me and it was very very bad!
well it matters what she meant ebcause i KNOW she isnt EVIL, its just so UNLUCKY and UNFORTUNATE that the worst thing this otherwise decent person does, they do it to ME. it is worse pain than i have been dealt by SHITTIER peopel!
GOOD PEOPLE CAN HURT YOU MORE THAN SHITTY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
there’s a valuable lesson that will teach you how to be a better person. basically avoid good people and seek out shtty people because they will hurt you less hahahahahaha good lesson mang
I Acknowledge That Casual Sex, No Emotions, No Relationship Sex, might not necessarily be a bad thing, but the crux is, ALL PEOPLE MUST BE ON THE SAME PAGE, in agreement on what this means/doesn’t mean.
in other words, before you stick it in, making sure to gain Enthusiastic, Authentic Consent with every thrust (hahahahaha) simply ask the B if she has any feelings for you or if this is just drunken meaningless no strings attached secs like she has with her 10 different fukk buddiez erry day.
i mean you cant beleive what anyone SAYS but in this case, if the woman tells you yeah its just secs, no feelings, i think you can trust her to tell the truth about THAT. so beleive THAT.
meanwhile if you are in luv with the gurl and want her to be Your Monogamous Long Term Gurlfran……. thats a huge ass string, and this secs will end up being hurtful to you. A Big Ass Talk is in order, where you confess your feelings, and hopefully she gives you some kind of shitty response like im not ready for a relationship right now, i just want to get filled up by a variety of cox for the time being.
NOTE WELL: if you just want to get yer dick wet because you havent had secs in 10 years and dont want to bang a hooker, and youve managed to pull some desperate or opportunistic or whatever woman who is actually willing, be sure to confirm what her feelings are. there is a 1% chance she might be in luv with YOU, and you pumping and dumping her and using her as Fook Meat might break her heart, because she’s in luv with you.
well if you JUST MET the person, they cant be in luv with you. if you’ve known them for 2 years however……tread carefully.
because having a decent friendship over 2 years IS a long term rel which by definition has more strings than some RANDOM STRANGER you JUST MET.
like if the woman i am in luv with had pity secs with me. it would break my heart even more, and i would be even more angry at her. because it means nothing to her and is awkward and sucks and she wants to be with other guys, while for me it is the most intense experience in the life.
but if both people are not in luv with each other, want to bang other people, then yeah that should be ok to have casual meaningless meat fooking. not that women should be doing that. back in the day respectable women would never THINK of doing that.
now all women do it and there are no respectable women left, and women dont care about being respectable.
and if men wanted casual sex, they got it from a hooker. there was no such thing as nonhooker sluts.
see hookers are more honest. they say heres some casual sex, you know what it is, and it costs this much.
nonhooker sluts dont even know how to be honest. its always i dunno and fooking 10 guys at the same time and Never Communicating About Feelings.
IMHO there is more Heartbreak between men and women now than there was 50 years ago!
and that women are dishing out the majority of that heartbreak!
i would say 90% of women have broken at least one male heart, while only 25% of men TOPS have broken at least one female heart.
this is BECAUSE only alpha males can break female hearts, can make women LOVE them to begin with, and by definition, only a minority of men are alpha.
and alpha is relative to other men too. its always gonna be the top 20% Most Masculine of Men.
which is frustrating because the male average is pussified and unmasculine and faggy nowadays, so it should be EASY to become an alpha right?
like in the 50s when the average man was super masculine like john wayne, youd think it be much HARDER to be more masculine than that to become a top 20% True Alpha male.
now all men are sensitive faggy neets who love and respect women and want long term monog rels with them hahahaha.
no i kid i kid of course.
you can tell pretty easily when someones heart is broken. they say “i am heartbroken” or “devastated” or “im hurting real bad” or “in a real bad place right now” or “PLEASE RESPOND” hahahaha and they seem desperate, weak, and begging, and their world is crashing down around them.
but yeah. how is it so hard to send an email. this is eating me up and will continue to eat me up for a long time. how is it not eating her up. you would think that after some time has passed, WHICH IT HAS, she would write to me and say sorry about that hahahaha. but noooooooooooooo.
well nobody said life was fair hahahaha.
but yeah when something is eating you up, you just cant enjoy anything because its always on your mind.
you cant go out and simply enjoy things with your friends, go fook secsy new men, because its in the back of your mind bothering you, keeping you from having fun and being haaaaaaaaaaappy.
its eating ME up but theres NOTHING i can DO about it, plus it shouldnt eat me up because i wasnt the Bad Guy.
it SHOULD be eating HER up because SHE was the bad guy, PLUS she now has bad karma hanging over her, AND, she still has ALL the power to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! the ball is 100% in her court! she could write to me and say sorry. but NOOOOOOOOOOOO. and she doesnt even THINK about it, she goes out and has 100000000 times more fun than i do, WORRIES about it 10000000000 times less than i do, even though i have no power to do anything about it!!!!!!!!
what the fook!
so obviously i need to get over it hahahaha. bitches always tell you to get over it, then walk away and sook dicks, but they never tell you HOW to get over it. shit THEY dont know how to get over it. they only thing they know is go suck and fook moar cox, they think THATS how you get over things.
thats why modern women are sociopathic sluts and evil demons hahahahaha.
ok time for the 2.8 miler.