GOOD PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED WHEN THEY DO BAD THINGS

sat aug 12

IF YOURE NOT ASHAMED OF BEING A HUGE SLUT, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU NOT ASHAMED OF?

GOOD PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED WHEN THEY DO BAD THINGS.

saw this super qt young blond gurl i have seen about 3 to 4 times at public social event. i noticed her the first time i saw her, where she was sitting pretty near to us, and i was like wow that girl is super qt, but i think average guys would say meh she is ok but no big deal, maybe 6/10 hahahaha. a little Mousey.

i guess MOUSEY IS MY TYPE hahahahahahaha.

this is really the first time where i was like wow i SHOULD go talk to that woman and try to Ask Her Out On A Date hehehehe. the worst she can say is no.

but i would be 100% satisfied with her qt body and if she had a decent personality, WHICH IS NOT HARD TO DO, JUST BE NICE AND MAKE AN EFFORT NOT TO BE AN OBNOXIOUS BITCH, then I could see myself TOTALLY getting over and forgetting about That Woman. This Woman has the potential to replace and erase That Woman completely. would probably be an improvement if she’s not a mudshark and tries to not give silent treatment.

main qualm is that i have nothing to talk about and i am OLD and an omega male with several years of huge setbacks on muh career. she is maybe 8 to 10 years younger than me, and probably on the Average Path to a Middle Class Career. University, graduate at 21, get a decent entry level 30k job at 21, get a promotion and/or a grad degree by age 25, etc. what do you say to normie winners like this? what do you say when you have WEIRD INTERESTS that you cant talk about with normies, like jooish subversion of our culture, the future of huhwhyte people, plus women shouldnt be talking about political stuff anyway.

well ok i guess i could keep the conversation on the Common Interest we clearly have, and talk about careers in general, or her career, minimize talk about my career. talk about morality in broad general terms, like do no harm and dont treat people like shit, and Tinder Dating Culture is Gross, i hope you’re not into that. no i dont just want to “FOOK” you, I WANT to put in the due diligence and dating and extreme vetting in order to get to that point, and i dont WANT you to fook guys right away anyway. i mean you SHOULD be taking at least 6 months anyway.

the other thing is she really does look kinda YOUNG. i dont have a problem with that…..but ALL OF SOCIETY DOES, so she would be getting a lot of pressure, and prob a lot of her own personal preference to not date an old loser creeper, find a nice boy at college closer to her own age who didnt screw up so much in life, has a good career.

ideally, i would have talked to her that VERY FIRST DAY i noticed her and ASked Her Out On A Date then. now I’m THINKING about her and ALREADY building up a stupid FANTASY.

but you CAN tell something just by looking at people. not everything, but still some meaningful stuff. some poeple just LOOK LIKE dirty mudshark sluts. some women look young and innocent and nerdy and mousey, like they havent been with 100000 guys.

sure, some sluts can look innocent, especially the young cute ones, but they can’t hide that slutty c0khungry gaze forever. cold, dead, black eyes, like a dolls eyes hahahaha. damn disgusting sex addicts hahahahaha.

sex is very important and im very interested in it…..but i put it in a proper perspective! and realize it is in service of something even MORE important!!!!!!!

women might not UNDERSTAND this, but they dont NEED to, they just NEED to not be a slut. when something they cant understand is just in their bones and says no, i dont want to BEHAVE like a dirty slut, even if my peers do, even if tinder encourages it. im just not wired that way. nope. its gross. it doesnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel right. im not that kind of gurl. if some guy is a player pushing for secs, i dump him. i want to really get to know a guy first and i dont have secs unless we are In A Relationship.

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER that is the correct answer. she doesn’t need to do on some bitter diatribe like you do about degeneracy and sin and the sanctity of human life and da joos and a culture of disposability and bla bla bla. you can gently push her towards that and then after 6 months of dating she can be a raging antijooish crusader with you hahahaha.

so what my plan hahahaha. take a shower next time i go, so i dont stink like a person who hasnt taken a shower in 3 days hahahahaha. dont talk about jooish degeneracy, dont say ive been staring at you the past 4 weeks, dont say im a neet omega 35 year old virgin who makes 13k a year. just emphasize the positives. say i am a nice person and a good person and want to meet a nice woman who is Compatible with me. I dont go in for Tinder Culture and you like to play this game i like to play and frankly you are kinda QT. For me. i dunno most other guys would think you are a 6.8 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha like that neg?

but 6.8 is my 10 hahahaha. shit 6.8 is out of my league, im a 6 at best!

got first paycheck in 17 months hahahahaha. feels pretty good. someone who makes 13k a year should not be paying out 18% in taxes…..but really its only 9% in taxes and 9% in DEDUCTIONS like state pension / health care. which doesnt really benefit me at all. and social security hehehe. i have tried to minimize my state and fed income tax byt claiming allowance, or exemptions on the w4, which i never do, but now i am, because i would rather the money made .0000001% jooish interest for me, rather than go to uncle shmuley.

like to cut back on the coffee here hehehehe. i literally drink coffee all day, over a pot of coffee a day. it doesnt even have an effect on me any more. which is good as regards muh sensitive stomach, but uhhhh i would like to be more awake and alert and energized!!!!!

having a qt mousey 6.8, less than 10 guys gf would prob help with that hahaha.

go to therapy weirdo. hahahaha. well if you make 26k a year and dont go mad and have serious emotional probs that stop you from making 26k a year, be thankful, and prepare to live a Life Without Women.  and go to therapy for at least 10 years, thousands and thousands of dollars, before you are minimally qualified to date a disgusting pigwoman hahahaha. that’s how low your market value is.

i just hate this lie women tell t hat women are not aliens, they are just like men. well, it’s really a JOO lie, the women don’t know its a lie, they are just repeating jooish trash, they dont need to know any better.

but yeah. when i was friends with women, i was like, this is pretty nice, see women arent these weirdass ALIENS, theyre PEOPLE just like you and me.

of course, i didn’t have any Romantic Interest in them. when i DID, then came the whole ALIEN thing.

no, women arent technically aliens……UNTIL you want to interact with them in an Heterosexual, Dating, Relship, Intimate capacity. THEN they are total aliens. and you have to Learn and Use GAME hahahahaha.

aka BE MASCULINE.

if youre just trying to be friends with women, you need no game whatsoever. you can be a neet omega virgin.

then shit gets ridiculous when you start getting more than friendly feelings for your female friend.

just because Our Past makes us the Awesome People we are now, doesn’t mean you can’t be deeply ashamed of the horrible, degenerate, disgusting, shameful things you did in your past!

it’s not the PAST per se that makes you who you are, its you LEARNING from the MISTAKES you made and WORKING to become a better person! doesnt mean you should be HAPPY about those mistakes!!!! you can say, yeah that SUCKED, i was shitty, and I never want to be shitty like that again! NOT i fooked 10000000 guys and im not ashamed at all, i chose you, so you better accept my past!

i’ll accept your past once you REPENT for it.

NO REPENTANCE, NO ACCEPTANCE.

i will FORGIVE just about ANYTHING. my mercy and forgiveness is almost as infinite as GOD’S. but even GOD asks you to be REMORSEFUL for your sins. no you dont have to live in shame for years, but you DO have to realize what you did was WRONG, and genuinely, honestly be sorry for it, and willing to do a penance for it. Can you say this about your GF and her Slut Past? If not, be very afraid. because she’s not done with her slut past. its looking like a slut present and slut future. hell yeah you should judge, especially if she’s not going to!

im very judgmental of other people, but how about myself? EVEN MORE SO! you’re god damn right i am even MORE judgmental of myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woman wants to get revenge on her bf who legit betrayed her. i can totally understand revenge. but she wants to go too far for even a legit betrayal. like pushing the guy back into being a drinker, hurting his dying mother, even some say Ghosting is too much, Ghosting seriously fooks people up, don’t do it, its bad karma.

heh. my idea of revenge would be, just send all the noods and sex pictures they sent you, to their family members to show them what a slut they are. probably dont send the pictures to any family who is known to be super old, or dying, cancer, MS, etc. basically to mother and father, if they are not dying.

maybe plastering the noods all around her neighborhood. or sending them to her boss and colleagues. post on facebook wall.

or putting a bag of dog shit on their porch.

i mean i dont WANT revenge any more. i just want her to know what she did was WRONG, that it HURT me, and to be REMORSEFUL for it. also shes not a bad shitty person. so,more than likely, she DOES feel bad about it. well, that doesnt’ make me feel any better, because if she’s a good person, then i want to Be With Her!!!!!! and she is, and I do!

yeah well maybe this qt gurl at the game night is also a nice person. there are lots of good people out there. i tend to stay away from Bad People! that woman not a bad person, she was a pretty darn good person!

the people i associate with are good people! i would be hard pressed to name a single bad person that I actually know! if i get the intuition a person is a real piece of shit…..i stay away from them!

i mean i’ve know some Very Troubled people….but they are still Good people despite their flaws.

yet i WASTE all this time and energy THINKING about BAD people who don’t even really EXIST in my life!!!!!! these FICTIONAL degenerate sluts!

i mean they’re not strictly fiction….. but point is, iTS NOT WORF IT wasting time and energy thinking about this shit for more than 1 minute, unless i actually have a bad person or degen slut in my life giving me Issues!

so i waste a lot of time and energy, cause a lot of pain and anger, thinking about ABSTRACTIONS!!!!!! i mean these things really DO exist, but i tend to shun them in real life! even the sluts i’ve actually dealt with, i can’t say they were horrible people! just troubled and misguided!

heh. i was thinking about starting a Despair Forum where members pay x dollars and in return, they get a shrink or social worker who responds with expert advice every day, every thread. kind like Despair Forums only with an active team of experts who posted on all threads hahahaha.

maybe limited to men only.

i mean its sad. on /relships you see PLENTY of people with despair, or their gf or bf has issues with it, plenty of requests to Go To Therapy for Despair, yet if you look at /despair, its the shittiest sub ever. like, even shittier than /relships. for such a serious problem, it needs more serious discussion on reddit hahahahaha.

2016-12-30-13_24_12-sam-hyde-on-girls-in-college-kickstarter-tv-youtube

hehehe thats pretty funny

i guess this is a sign from GOD tellng me now is the time to become a sam hyde fan, sam is one of ussssssssss……

well i believe sam is a grad of RISD, ie a very top tier art skool, and he is prob butthurt because it didnt make him any money and he is 3000000000$ in debt now hahahahaha. well if THAT doesnt wake you up to the jooish college scam, nothing will. and there are THOUSANDS of college educated middle class shitlibs who are 50k in college debt and still LUV joos and blax and muslims and gays and cheating and abortions. at least sam has seen the light. id like him for him to seriously come out and say “I AM A HUHWHYTE NATIONALIST” but pretty sure he is anyway hahaha.

i just enjoy serious honest interviews more than “playing a character” for comedy. and of course you can be witty and funny in your serious interviews. shit i think he has done some normal talks, i just dont have the time to listen to his 6000000000000000000000000000000 vidyas hahahaha.  i mean i would like if the SPLC just did a report on him already, sam hyde is a WN racist terrorist hahahaha. i mean besides all the school shootings he did hahahahahaha. the fact he got his tv show on adult swim for even a month is insane.

i mean, i see attractive young women pretty regularly…..but rarely do i feel the urge that I SHOULD REALLY APPROACH THAT WOMAN. I will regret not approaching her.

when really i should be bold like a negro and approach every woman i find attractive, which, as i say, is a decent number. well, it wont be after all these 18-21 year old white gurls go back to ((((COLLEGE)))) hehehehe.

they dont need to understand how jooish it is. they just need to not DO THE JOO hahahaha. dont have tinder sex. dont treat people like garbage or objects. dont JOO people.

so GOD is calling me to talk to this gurl somehow. honestly the thing that concerns me most is that she looks really YOUNG. i dont have a problem with that, but the whole world does. if she is like 22 years old, yeah i risk looking like a real CREEPER in public. like why the hell am i interested in a CHILD hahahaha. yeah well fook that. shes a super qt gurl and i am a Single Man. in my heart i know its all right hahahaha. its not like she is 16 or even 18.

besides when i first became friends with that woman, she was 22 hahahahahaha. a CHILD.

really trying to improve my Mint system, and i have. trying to eliminate vague categories like “groceries” or “shopping.” because it had automatically moved stuff from the local supermarket or amazon or paypal or target into one of these categories when something like “clothing” is much more descriptive and useful. shoes, gratitude for fam, coffee, food, etc. books.

heh. i could make up a little business card with a link a Dating Website that i could give to that young woman for her to learn more about me than i can give in a 30 second elevator speech hahahaha. a nontinder nondating website profile hahaha. a general social website. like facebook. but not because i am not on facebook hahahaha. because i am creepy about womenhahahaha.

basically women on Dating Sites go on a lot of Dates, even on the rare chance they are not having lots of gross slutty secs with a lot of sleazy dudes. at the very least, they are going on lots of DATES and sitting through HOURS of guys trying to entertain or interest or impress them. that is a lot of competition. you have to be more interesting than all these guys. guys who have had a LOT more dating and women experience than you. you think, jeez, i wish there were some OTHER way to meet women, i just dont want to meet the types of women who use dating sites. therefore, you have to find women in the Wild who dont look like dating site sluts, and approach them. realizing they could very well still use dating sites and be huge sluts even if they dont LOOK like it hahahahahaha. like That Woman. did not look like a mudshark or a dating site woman, but she was a mudshark and on okcupid and probably tinder.

in her defense, she wasn’t all in on any of those things. she had just dipped the toe in. she could have EASILY turned back. being a decent person, she probably did, and married a nice white boy, gave him many children, and they lived very happily ever after.

https://radio.therightstuff.biz/2016/12/28/rebel-yell-150-sexual-utopia-in-power-f-roger-devlin/

heh i have known about devlin for YEARS, ever since bernard talked about him YEARS ago. little did i know that devlin was proto-alt-right! but yeah i should buy devlins books already. great guy with great perspective on WOMEN. not sure if he has great advice for normal men to find decent women. wish he would talk more about that. maybe he does in this interview. good that he says yes to appearing on a TRS podcast.

http://www.radixjournal.com/journal/2016/12/20/cultural-enrichment-and-sexual-competition

took benedryl.

that feel when you have been using your gf as an “emotional beast of burden” without being aware, and she resents you for it, and says youre very immature and need lots of therapy, but in reality you’re well within your rights, and she should be your beast of burden in this situation by just giving you some comfort when your parent is dying and you are sad. but now you are immature and need therapy.

thankfully reddit agreed that the gf was being rdiculous and immature and he didnt’ necess need therapy just because he vented at her once and was a BUZZKILL at that time.

hehehe i have had severe derpression for almost half muh life and i would never think of doing this to a person, giving them a bullshit ultimatum like that! a guy who would act like this could never get a gf in the first place!

thankfully reddit gave good advice. they DO give good advice 50% of the time!

woman ghosted  by man. i took it alot worse than this hahahaha.

good god. making good money at age 24 AND getting a full ride scholarship and hes not even finished with uni? getting a total POS for a gf when he DESERVES a nice white waifu.

smokin MJ and listen to saor, fuath….and gris again hahahahaha.

DONT WALK ALL OVER A DOORMAT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BEING A DOORMAT

IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A DOORMAT.

all these women complaining about nice guy doormats. YES I AGREE it sucks to have people THROWING themselves asking to be WALKED ON, but THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO DO IT!!!!! Use it as a teaching moment to leave them better than you found them. say, stand up man! Dont let people walk all over you! and feel SHAME on Yourself if YOU ever walk on people!

GOOD WOMEN DONT WALK ON MEN!

DONT WALK ALL OVER A DOORMAT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM BEING A DOORMAT!

BETTER TO LIGHT A CANDLE THAN CURSE THE DARKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i never walked on people. i wouldnt feel RIGHT walking on people. id say, this is fookin retarded, get up man, im not gonna WALK on you, have some damn self respect man!

yep so reading the controversial stuff from march 2015 (1.5 years ago hahaha) its obvious i should have

  1. just left it all alone, which i OBVIOUSLY couldnt do, so therefore my best option was
  2. just Confess and Blurt It Out right then and there. STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT to talk to her because she wasnt gonna take it. the best I could have done is send her a one page email stating all the facts in as unemotional a way as possible and say, welp heres the explanation for all this. now just reject me already and lets move on with our lives and not have too much butthurt.

 

 

heh i kinda wish That Woman was all sad because YES IT IS, I GET IT, that losing a friend is HARD, even if you arent losing a Lover. So I wanted to know that she was UPSET to lose me as a friend, because that means i MEANT something to her as a friend, which i was PRETTY SURE I did. And she meant something to ME as a friend too! and then shit CHAAAAANNNGGGGED!!!!!! How is this SO HARD to understand! FEELINGS CHANGE!!!!!! Just Friends shit can CHANGE to wanting to be more than friends! its not ULTERIOR MOTIVES!!!!!

i guess i was/am trying to convince myself i didnt have ulterior motives. becuase i wouldnt like ulterior motives either. but deep down i guess i know it wasnt ulterior motives.

but i can see how you might think its ulterior motives, and i really want to convince you it wasnt, because i know how bad ulterior motives are.

 

hehehehe

 

i mean this stuff HAPPENS, its not just ulterior motives. but do WOMEN ever get feelings for their GUY friends, or it it always the other way around? i dunno. knowing women and how stupid and ridiculous they are, they probably dont, hahahahaha. why not? because they are meeting fun, interesting, secsy, eligible NEW guys ALL THE TIME. just a revolving door of neverending new guys. never any need to RETHINK anything because there is always someone NEW,

women are CONSTANTLY meeting new guys. men meet like one new woman a year. women meet a new guy EVERY DAY.

shit yeah men are more easily replaceable. its just a fact of life. get used to it.

yeah well that has been hard for me. i hate being replaced hahahaha. it takes 2 years for me to get over it every time.

and now all these people are piling on the man as the bad guy here, because he was friends with her, and as soon as she says no i wont fook you, he DUMPS her and turns his back. its all about SECS and FOOKING to these women, they dont even know what LUV is, and they cant understand that feelings happen sometimes, and its really hard to turn off feelings, and sometimes you need to be away from the person in order to get over your feelings, because they dont have feelings for you! and they call that dumping your friend because she didnt want to fook you. way to totally miss the point in the most jooish way possible. its like they never had unrequited luv for a friend before hahahaha. and they probably HAVENT! men understand what this is like………women do not.

yes they are like a separate species! damn! they dont know any of our feels and we dont know any of their feels!

good thing she hurts! but i GUARANTEE SHE will get over him a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT quicker than he gets over her! it will take him two YEARS, it will take her 2 months, tops.

interviews monday tuesday AND wednesday. that is a first. 3 interviews in 3 days. i mean how can I NOT get a Job Offer pretty soon? hehehehe.heh.

probably because i have Stopped Trying on the interviews. but I still dont do markedly WORSE. but i am remarkably not self aware hahahaha. i write about myself all day and im still not self aware hehe.

sheeeit back in march 2015 i was smokin MJ regularly. the best thing was to just put it in a regular cigarette. take out maybe half of the filter. and then you could easily smoke those outdoors.

heh. you know why i get jealous when you go hang out and meet all these new guys? because one of these new guys youre gonna think is more interesting and secsy than me and i dont want u to leave me!

i mean people can do what they WANT. no ones entitled to anything. just saying its god damn competitive AF out there, when your GF is meeting all these hot new guys all the time, and you are pretty average at best. hows she NOT gonna leave you for one of them, when you take all this extra effort to appreciate?

i have Being Dumped issues because women have had NO PROBLEM dumping me when the time came. showing me EXACTLY how much value they thought I had As A Mate. NO PROBLEM replacing me with a Sexier Man. Doesnt mean those men were Essentially Superior Humans to Me, in GODS Eyes…………but the women I was trying to get with sure thought so!!!!!!!

so hell yeah i have ISSUES about that! anyone would!!!!!

not saying i agree with this, but wouldnt it be an incentive for the state to legalize MJ if there were HUGE TAX REVENUE they could get from it? like if people make more money with it being illegal (police, law enforcement, pharm, alcohol, lawyers, jails), then WHY NOT add SO MUCH TAX to it that the state would make more money off the TAX than they would off all these other things. which means it would have to be a damn high tax. like maybe 20% hahahaha.

basically, how much tax would be ENOUGH for State Govt to approve legal MJ?

i mean i would be willing to pay a HUGE tax.

now im DEFINITELY not saying that that tax money would be used wisely. roads would still be falling apart, schools would still be shitty, infrastructure would still be shitty, there would still be no jobs, and all the money would just go to state workers and politicians salaries and pensions hahahaha, even if it brought in in a trillion bux a year. but shouldnt that be enough to convince THEM?

how about a 100% tax rate. buy a $100 bag of MJ for $200 and $100 goes to the state. how could the state not want that.

hahahahahaha

so i will be speaking to the director of IT tomorrow, he has a very impressive linkedin and has accomplised 14880000000000000000000000 times the things i have at around the same age i am.

they mentioned another guy would be there too, they just mentioned a first name that sounded very informal, i looked up people named this at the company, and thats the CEO’s first name. he goes by this informal kind of nickname. he has a PHD from CAMBRIDGE. I mean thats intimidating as FOOK. do I really NEED all that? i am just trying to make 12 dollars an hour here. you dont need to have your cambridge phd ceo fooking talk to me.

oh i bet he has a wife and children too. and gets respect from people. well hes EARNED it!

the company is probably making at least 30 million a year in revenue and they want ME to speak to the CEO. i mean ive seen this before, where there were RIDICULOUSLY high up people in the interview for basically an entry level position.

trying to do some research on company, interview prep right now, printing shit. gonna run out of this “new” black print cartridge i just bought like a month ago. lucky if a print cart can last for 10 interviews hehehe.

right now posting some stuff from april 2015, when i was still talking to her. it is sad. real sad. i am very embarrassed and ashamed of how cowardly and weak and stupid i was. shes not a bad person. i wasnt trying to play mind games with her, but im sure i ended up confusing her anyway. she was having a tuff time in life. the best thing i could have done was be direct. and i wasnt. you think she was mature enough to handle that at 24 years old? come on.

i mean i didnt want to manipulate her either. i was just SO DESPERATE to hang out with her, and she just kept avoiding it. so why didnt i say, well she OBVIOUSLY doesnt want to hang out! so stop bugging her, OR JUST SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY AND BE DONE WITH IT.

so it is painful seeing myself acting so idiotically against this poor little confused gurl.

but i was confused too. i wasnt trying to manipulate or control her. i just want to hang out. and i just couldnt accept reality though.

i wish i had the BALLS just to say what I was really thinking though. just be a MAN and be like LISTEN. HERES THE THING. I’ve started to like like you over the past couple months. this affects our rel and we HAVE to deal with it.

not cutesy bullshit like i missssssssss you and lets hang out soon bla bla bla.

I WAS ACTING LIKE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah hope i dont have too many throwback posts like that, becuase i need to move on from that. i mean i learned my lesson and hopefully i wont do the same shameful shit again.

which isnt to say shes blameless. she could have done better too.

but i was no innocent either.

but im not a bad guy, shes not a bad person either, we were just two decent people who used to be good friends, both acting very weakly and cowardly, and the entire rel crumbling and dying as a result, and it was just SAAADDDDDDD AS FOOOOOOOK.  Like i say im not ANGRY at her, i haven’t really EVERY gotten ANGRY except BEFORE it ended. After it ended, I’ve just been SADDDDDDD AS FOOOOOOOOK. Cuz it really IS!

talking to the CEO. WHY would they throw out this second name, you’ll be talking to director if IT john kimball, and also billy. who the fook is billy. (not actual name.)

Why not say Billy Smith, CEO of the 500-employee company??????

so that means the job pays at least 40k right?

36k is National Average. i mean even that is a little HIGH for me, thinking well ive settled for 12 an hour, no WAY anyone would ACTUALLY pay me 18 an hour!

maybe the CEO just sits in on SOME interviews for FUN when he has the time and is not having power lunches or doing photo ops. he has a free hour, they’re doing an interview, whoopee, might as well drop in and terrify the Supplicating Dogsbody for a 12 dollar an hour job when I make 200k a year. I make TEN TIMES what he does.

It’s just not a WHITE thing to do to LORD your influence over other white men like that. And I’m pretty sure the guy is white. CEO with a phd in engin from cambridge, about 65 years old. gotta be white.

so she was just an immature little gurl, didnt know any better, dindu nuffin. yeah but she had like 5 years more relship and secs experience than me!

but THATS AS A WOMAN! WOMEN dont do any ACTUAL WORK or EFFORT or TRYING in relships! they dont learn any actual SKILLS like communication, empathy, sympathy, kindness, compassion, love, etc hahahahaha.

they can have 10 years of relship experience and still be CHILDREN!!!

anyway. interview tomorrow. another humiliation hahaha. no really MOST of the people ive talked to have been NICE.

but yeah i am ashamed i didnt do better. i really shat the bed. she kinda shat the bed too, but that much is on her. but I shat the bed too and I am ashamed of it and never want to make the same mistake again.

i dont think not shitting the bed would have made her Luv me…..but it prob would have saved some pain and butthurt from The End.

Shit just hire a shrink EVERY DAMN TIME you want to End A Rel. because you are gonna be so emotionally compromised you’ll fook it up every damn time. so just pay a shirnk 50 bucks to do it for you.

i just wish i had not been such a weak, pathetic, stupid bitch. i wish i could look back and say i was proud of how i acted. that i handled this like a grown, honorable, respectable, mature white man. and that i didnt act like a little girl.

i mean i wasnt Abusive or Creepy so I guess that is good, but I was pushy and needy and immature like a little girl. not my finest hour hahaha.

shaved face with actual razor today instead of electric shaver, its an interesting alternative and prob a closer shave.

oh well. im going to interviews. IM TRYING. IM TRYING. IM MAKING AN EFFORT hahahahaha. im not just sitting here like a lazy negro. i have done 486 applications and 27 interviews. and still cant get a 24k job with health care hahahaha.

i dunno. it just chaps my ass that 25 year old women arent mature enough to do work in a relationship and communication, but they ARE mature enough to get masters degrees and make 60k a year, and i am not mature enough to hold down a 30k a year job without Flaming Out and Breaking Down under the pressure.

really grinds my gears hahahaha.

this IT Ninja I am interviewing with has been working 20 years in IT, much of it higher level / management, but didnt finish his bachelors degree until he was successful in his career, in something COMPLETELY unrelated and useless. I mean he is the type they make MBA In IT Degrees for so he can be a good CIO.

but he probably makes too much money to want to do that, he can always get good paying work, he knows he’s got Valuable Skills. i bet he’s married as fook hahaahahahaha. i mean he’s been very gainfully employed for the past TWENTY YEARS and sounds like a charismatic, can-do guy, judging by the 10 diff recommendations from people on his linkedin. ideally i would do this, but i cant really. get linkedin recs i mean.

anyway i have to drive past HER workplace in order to get to interview/workplace tomorrow. and what if she were outside the office smoking a cig or something. well she probably quit smoking cigs, like a responsible successful person.

i should stop attacking her, because she is broken hearted that she lost a Dear Friend, ie Me! it HURTS to lose a friend!

hehehehe tell me about it. hey i lost a friend too.

oh so youre hurting? not my problem. go to a shrink. hehehehehehe.

i also hate reddit for assuming that 25 year old women are not mature enough to be responsible for their decisions and lives. and for being against getting married young and having children young. and that you are only mature once you hit 30.

yeah well this may be the case with a lot of people, but my god they are REALLY against people getting married before like age 25 at the absolutely earliest. especiall for women. men dont really matter. but women need to get all that EXPERIENCE and have all those ADVENTURES and make all those MISTAKES.  youre only ready to marry once youre 30 and have taken 30 cox.

heh. watching a ridic old sherlock holmes episode and its the guy from raiders of the lost ark, the nervous creepy nazi “toht”. wearing a ridiculous wig. is that the same guy? kinda looks like him.  i have never seen him in anything else.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2043454/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_16

yes its the same guy, ronald lacey.

ANYWAY. he died in 1991 of CANCER.  and had to use a colostomy bag since he was like 20 years old. well he still managed to have at least two children.

yeah thats the thing. its a REAL MIXED BAG, age 25 is, for women. some are mature, some are not. but i think they should be more mature than immature. i mean yeah I was immature then, and now, but I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN. Thats WAY too old to be immature.

yeah well i had never done this before, never had this experience, never fell in luv with a friend, i didnt think i ever would. so i guess that thing wasnt INGRAINED in me by age 25! like i think everything is INGRAINED by age 25. you can still do plnety of learning and changing after that. thank god.

so….you can get a shady doctor to sign a MMJ rec, BUT the state licensing agency doesnt need to APPROVE it and send you your state approved card! actually the state DENIES about 20% of the applications they get every year! but why?????? do some doctors have a reputation as shoddy? probably. under investigation by LE? probably.

but dont they just raid the dispensaries? do they really care about doctors? ive only heard ONE news story in the past 5 years or so about a doctor getting charged with MJ card fraud.

OR should i complain about Severe Pain next time i see my regular doc, THEN get recrods printed, take those to MMJ doctor?

should i be trying to Scam The System like this? doesnt that LOOK BAD for MMJ in general, and also for Legal MJ in general?

hey just charge 100% tax and legalize it! legalize, tax, and regulate it, oh great state hahahahaha.

i mean honestly its a great safety net. i could have the Worst Day At Work of Angry Customers Demanding Explanations, and it would be easier to take knowing I had some MJ waiting at home for me!

i honestly LUV it the way i luv a waifu. it is one of the best REWARDS for me. like giving a dog a treat or giving a kid candy/ice cream. or give the normie his cuddly gf. give me some mj.

i also wish i hadnt overdone the drinking, so that i could go out with normies drinking, as a way to Team Build. you will have an easier time at Work if you go out drinking with your Team, otherwise you look like the Office Weirdo, and they are gonna try to Force You Out and Bullycide you hahahahaha.

if they REALLY have me talk to the CEO of a 300 person, 30 million a year company, i am gonna write 6000000 words on it hahahaha.

when you start a rel, start a FUND and put 50$ in it, so you can pay a shrink to facilitate the breakup. PREPAY for your inevitable breakup hahahaha. shit ill pay for it, just like a man paying for dinner. it’s well worth the 50$ to me. maybe even 100$. two sessions.

 

she makes 100k, he makes 35k, they are both 28 yo hahahahahahaha. look at this fookin normie making 35k at age 28 hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

what about men who get divorced at age 30, then dont date again till they are 45, and find that all the 30-45 women are HORRRRRRRRIBLE. all the ego of a 25 year old but none of the hotness to back it up. also more kids, more cox, more exes, more crazy. i dont want to date 35 year olds! except maybe for casual secs. but you cant have a FAMILY with 35 year old women!

i just worry i will never get that close to THAT high quality of a woman again and will always have to settle for LESS.

 

heres some great drama. I dont think he should GHOST her thought. just be like wow im really shocked you had an abortion, i dont think i can marry a baby murderer, or, maybe i can, lets talk about this.

i mean yeah i would be shocked too. but its probably better than cheating. maybe. its still pretty damn bad. i am very anti abortion, more than averaege.

also this woman is super retarded because she refuses to believe she was being dishonest. does not understand the concept of dishonesty by omission.

hmm maybe thats what i did to HER. lying by omission. i wasnt telling her about this big important thing.

well it all comes back to “I was PLANNING on telling her when we HUNG OUT because thats a BIG CONVERSATION that you cant have via text, needs to be done IN PERSON.”

which is true, BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTt

what i LEARNED was,

when they keep AVOIDING you for X months,

then YES, you DO tell them the big thing via text, because your rel is pretty much OVER anyway.

oct 24

posted a response on despair forums for the first time in months, felt like interacting with someone hhehe. a man suffering after a bad breakup, where she blamed him, said its all your fault, and blocked him for being smothering, when he wasnt. that has got to be hard to hear. i imean THAT WOMAN never accused me of being smothering, but i knew she was thinking it, and i know i can be, and i have tried NOT to be.

had interview with the healthcare place today, went ok, was nervous, always nervous, anticipating crucifixion. i asked whos this “billy” guy, is the CEO really gonna be here, and they said yeah he likes to sit in on a lot of interviews, but he had to go to a last minute business lunch, sorry he couldnt be here. I said thats fine, i am always happy to come in and talk to him later, or on the phone. but yeah. that WAS the CEO. very hands on CEO. damn.

talked to it director, and there were 2 women in there as well. kind of a low pressure interview. there was an 8 minute wonderlic Intelligence Test before everything started. i only got through 20 questions. sheeeeeeit.

i forgot to ask how many people were interviewing. i did ask about salary and did not say another place was muh number 1. i demonstrated knowledge of the company and said welp i dont have tons of working experience with SQL and C++ but I coursework in them and got all A’s. i like to take initiative to teach myself the things i need to know. i use google, do due diligence, and ask intelligent questions.

i said WELP i looked at glasdoor, says 35k is the average, but i’m looking to come in well below average because i am entry level, i made X at previous job, and i am looking for 14 to 16 here, but very flexible. i want to be in your ballpark. they talked about how great the benefits were and how there are 19 paid days off a year.

i mean it looks pretty good. would not mind getting this job. this one is prob the new number 1 anyway. close to home, 15 an hour, benefits, M-F days, growing company, award winning workplace.

also i went in there and saw that a woman i used to work with at the Living Hell Previous Job was there. she was always super nice and I was nice to her and helped her when she was new. and she appreciated my help. although I think I shocked her once with my filthy mouth, hahahaahaha. but i think she forgot about that. anyway she seemed happy to see me and i was nice to her today. also sent her an invite on linkedin today while everything was fresh. she was/is a nice sweet person and thats all that matters to me. also she was a smart good worker and deserved a better job. so nice to see she got a job here. i am sure it is at least a little better than where we were.

anyway ideally she can say oh yeah he’s great, he’s super nice AND super smart. i mean i had a good repoire with her and liked helping her. i mean i liked helping people in general and our people needed a LOT of help because they were constantly being THROWN TO THE LIONS, not just the wolves, but the goddamn LIONS, they needed a lot of help, and there was not enough of a supply of help. so i took up the cross and helped people off the clock quite a bit.

anyway maybe thats a SIGN FROM GOD that THIS IS THE ONE, that this nice woman works there.

or maybe its just the 27th rejection hahahahaha. life goes on, time marches on.

way to email me paypal and amazon letting me know my password has been stolen and that i should change it hahahaha.

anyway. yeah i would totally take this job. its close and doesnt seem too bad. i could be somewhat proud of working there. there might be some help desk work but as long as its less than 4 hours of inbound calls a day, that would be ok.

i drove by the place where i heard That Woman was working. i said IM NOT GONNA LOOK AT IT but i failed in that and instead blatantly Rubbernecked at the parking lot looking for her car. I didnt see it but there were a lot of cars and i was going 40 mph. i swore that if i drove by again after the interview i would not look at the building or parking lot. that i would physically block it with my hand.

instead i just took another road to go home.

if i get this job i am willing to do whatever it takes to not look at that building or parking lot hahahaha.

i cant believe the CEO is so HANDSY that he likes to do so many interviews. he has a phd in engin from cambridge. did he publish any papers? how much money did he make as an Executive Business Consultant, and then as CEO of a health care company? how fookin rich is he? is he british? probably. why would he come from UK to here? I would rather be born in the UK hahahahahahaha well maybe. things are shitty over there too. but you are closer to Yurop and the Home of the White Race. i dunno. i just dont trust people who leave their whole FAMILY an OCEAN away unless they are nonwhite immigrants coming from the third world to the first world.

also i guess he is very hands on in the technical projects. GREAT. i mean you are like 70 years old man. go traveling. visit your family. youve made MILLIONS of dollars. the man is a MULTIMILLIONAIRE and I have to talk to HIM for a 15 dollar an hour job hahahahaha.

well they didnt say. i know youre SUPPOSED to get them to say a number first. im honestly too desperate for that, plus I already had a range in mind: 14 to 16. let them know i looked at glassdoor. maybe they’ll reject me because i looked too desperate because i said a number first hahahahaha.

they responded yes that range is in the ballpark.

i asked them about Growth in the company. they said they were growing SO MUCH they plan to DOUBLE within 3 years. they are growing so fast they can barely keep up. INTERESTING.

sent thank you email hours ago. damn.

interview tomorrow for Bank job, in Records. Bank Records. 12.50 an hour. this company is also a Best Workplace To Work. I should just apply to places on those list. as determined by large local paper. anyway. I semi respect this bank as a good employer and would be happy to take their job too. their hr person impressed me by contacting me about this job, after i was rejected for the tech job at this bank. i mean that was just good guy greg stuff. i usually hate women, HR, and companies, but she really impressed me here. i mean she didnt have to call ME. she coulda called any of the other 1000000000000000 people that had applied for that job in the past day, when i had applied like 8 months ago.  it shows they actually LOOK at those old applications and dont just throw them in the memory hole. the whole company seems above board and ethical and not run by sneaky semites.

and then on wed i have the final interview of week. not gonna get a ton of sleep before that one. early in the morning. part time job. but it pays more per hour than the FT job tomorrow. but that FT has decent, ok, average benefits.

WHEN YOU’VE BEEN DOWN AS LONG AS ME, MEDIOCRE LOOKS PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!!

like honestly a 12 dollar an hour FT job with benefits is nothin special, which all 21 year old college grads should aim for, not a 35 year old man!

i mean how can you raise a family on that? how can you attract a wife with that?

you mean youre 35 and havent found a wife and started a family yet? hahahahaha.

BABY STEPS.

get this job, then go out with slutz from okcupid hahahaha and try to find a wife.

reddit thinks that you shouldnt date men who even use the WORD “SLUTS”. at age 26 you should be more mature!

hehehe what about if you are 35 hahahahahahhahahahha

no i call women SLUTS every day. it simply means you are too promiscuous, your number is too high, you dont have enough REVERENCE for the secs act and who you do it with.

its a nihilistic culture of death. you dont have enough respect for life. at BEST, you are DANGEROUSLY immature. thats what SLUT is shorthand for. someone i only want to use for short term pleasure. never more.

sheeeeit i mean i dunno. i pretty much HAVE to go to some stupid website if i want to meet new women. whether its a WIFE, or its a short term Meat Hole hahahahahaha. a Slut.  ok how about i LOOK for a good wife type woman, then if i meet her and she turns out to be a slut, then uhhhhh let her do what sluts do, and forget about marrying her hehehe.

i just yeah. i shouldnt hate how women can be immature and get a man, but men have to be mature to get a woman. because thats just natural. thats how god made us. uterus power. but plenty of immature men get women too. you dont need to be mature, you just need to be MANLY.

 

look at this nice young man. he wants to dump his GF, but he knows she’ll be devastated, so he wants to let her down as easily as possible. he doesnt hate her, and really doesnt want to add insult to injury. or add injury to injury hahahahahaha. so he asks for advice how how to dump as gently as possible. what a nice young man!

hey i CAME CLOSE to having a real rel with a woman. technically I HAVE had actual real rels with women. just nothing that involved mating. then it was a clusterfook. they only wanted negros and men who acted like negros to fook them hahahahhaa no thats a lie. woman2012 didnt want negros. That Woman didnt ALWAYS and ONLY want negros.

basically dump someone the way you would want to be dumped. be nice……but dont be so nice that you give them false hope that its not really over. be as nice as you can in stating that it’s for sure over.

yeah this is a hard thing to talk about.  i guess i can’t blame anybody for being bad at it! let alone a cowardly little woman! shit i prob wouldnt have the balls to do it!

or when other women dumped me, they tried to be nice about it, and that led to me not fully understanding, thinking i could get them to change their mind, talk them out of it. so yeah its hard to be nice but also be VERY FIRM.

so spend 50 bucks to have a shrink do it. totally worth it. they can get the message across in a firm way with NO ambiguity. i will do this every time i have to dump someone hahahaha. or if i think a woman wants to dump me, i will hire the shrink FOR her to dump me.

this is a GREAT fookin idea. why doesnt EVERYONE do this? shrinks are everywhere, even the middle of nowhere. i mean they are nothing but MSW social workers, and these are a dime a dozen.

heh. i wonder if wimmin who have MSW degrees are better at dumping their boifrans. or better communicators. or more mature. or better Conflict Revolvers. I wonder!

or do you have to be a LICENSED or CLINICAL social worker.

 

I WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU TOO

may 2

i mean its not like i was some obsessed weirdo just because she was the first woman to be nice to me in 3 years. besides when unattractive women are nice to me i dont fall in luv with THEM hahahahahaha.

its that we REALLY got along, we would hang out, we were actual friends, and I dont want her to FORGET that. and blame everything on me being a “Thirsty Weirdo”. NO WAY. There was a time where I was LIterally Important to you too baby. missy. ya god damn stupid broad. I was important to you too.  or have you forgotten. probably. don’t even try to DENY it. i guess you can forget it like you forget everything else, but dont DENY it.

heh i actually ordered a stick of RAM for muh computer off amazon with muh gift card that I earned from doing a market research study hahaha. just give me cash hahaha. give me a prepaid visa card, i dont care. i guess i could have gotten the whole balance Disbursed (15 DAH word that SHE doesnt know HA!!!) into a Walmart gift card instead. i got 50$ put into a walmart card and gave that to muh fam as payment for me being a huge bum wawawawawaa.

anyway this ram will double the amount of memory if it works. and it will permadestroy muh computer if it doesnt hahaha.

ok how about this proposal:

when you want to get out of a rel and the other person doesnt, ask them what would be the best way for it to end. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, TO MAKE THIS EASIER ON YOU.  and then try to Honor those wishes as best as possible, within reason, so that the person being dumped can say, yeah, they made an honest effort at making this as painless on me as possible, and acted like a mature, reasonable adult.

THATS what people should do.

Heh. I would have taken her to a SHRINK JUST to help her END IT better. ok shrink, i cant make her want to stay in this, but at least shrink please help her to end this better. tell her about collins gillath 2012 and how to put that into practice. why it might interest you to have the person you dumped not hate you. why it might interest you to not break someones heart so bad.

maybe it was her punishment for me for “TORTURING” her for months, by BUGGING her PUSHILY to hang out.

it could be…..I’ll never know!!!!!!

however I wish there were more pictures taken with us so she would have a harder time forgetting it all. and she would be forced to delete those pictures, OR acknowledge that we had something Special.

welp i could have been working at the call center for 4 hours already hahahaha getting PAID. not even taking calls but getting TRAINED on the LEADING EMR software, training which costs THOUSANDS of dollars!!!!

and i would have had a CHANCE to PROVE to myself that I was as GOOD as HER in the competition of LIFE!!!!!!

oh boy not this again!

but yeah i do hate the way she dumped me especially because of that, because it was like saying “I totally DESTROY you in the competition of life. I am Sexier and more desireable than you, i am smarter and better worker than you, i make more money than you, i am a more valuable important person than you, you huge loser.”

and I would worry about that stuff ANYWAY, but this time it was worst of all because of the way she handled it. like really rubbing it in my face hahaha.

just a forgettable d1ck playing another forgettable round in the life creation process, creating another forgettable life, have to do another forgettable murder, did you hear Your Child scream as the j00ish abortionist chopped it up and sucked it out of you, then you just move on to the next forgettable guy and repeat the whole forgettable life creation and murder process. this is how Casually Evil Women are hahahahahaha.

ok that is a wild exageration and it would be wise not to truly believe that abotu all women….or else you will become a REAL woman hater.

hey i dont hate all women. i could care less about most women. i just dont like being Wronged by women that I trusted and had a Real Relationship with. not even normies like that. so its normie of me not to like it.

even when i was comfortable and normie with her, i was still weird and nervous and weirdo and awkward and uncool around other women. it takes a long time and a very special rel to be that comfortable and normie around a woman for me.

i just wanted her to accept her share of responsibility in the relship. it TAKES TWO to make it and she was no longer willing to do that. at least be AWARE of that and say hey listen, I don’t want to have this RESPONSIBILITY any more, and Im SORRY to LET YOU DOWN and DISAPPOINT you. not this well of COURSE i dont have ANY responsibility here bullshit. how can you be so immature and still be an adult who destroys me in the Competition of Life?

at my easy job i used to work with this really cute girl who was very happy and bubbly and positive and nice and smiling and also very cute. i maybe would have tried dating her (hahahaha) if the whole time she wasnt going out with this guy. he was so far beneath her league i couldnt believe they were dating. she was super young and cute, he was nothing special, not tall, not strong. his only strength was that I guess he was a good guitar player and he looked like some shaggy classic rock guy, with long hair and a scruffy beard. i thought good for her for giving this guy a chance, and good for him to pull such a ridiculously cute gurl. she got a bachelors degree in Health Care Administration and started a career in that right away and now makes much more money than I ever will. She has got to be about 7 or 8 or 9 years younger than me. He worked in a factory or warehouse and probably still does but maybe he got promoted to supervisor. good for him. point is they got MARRIED and are still together. So I think that is a good thing. for a Career Gurl she was married by 24 or 25, which is YOUNG for a career gurl. It’s possible she never even took a lot of cox. So this scruffy uneducated slob pulled a smart, cute, young, nice, low-number gurl. However he was certainly more confident and more chill than me. But I would be more confident and chill with a real qt like that giving her loyalty and luv to me!

ultimately its a good thing and i hope they stay married and have some damn kids. they were both white but he was pretty……italian looking. but still technically white. just honestly very italian. so yeah they could still have some perfectly legit white children….and they SHOULD. she works in like Benefits Administration with a bunch of other young cute gurls with Bachelors Degrees in Health Admin or Marketing or HR or Business.

why didnt i just get a degree in BUSINESS. I too could have been making 16 DAH at age 22. been a damn manager by now making 25DAH.

Anyway she should quit her career with those sorority sluts and focus on the family hahahahaha. you cant get that many young career women together and not have it have a deleterious effect on the womens relationships with their men. if she leaves her man for a more alpha business man, I would be VERY disappointed in her. i want them to STAY married forever. or maybe she can leave him for me hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

no I would want to make sure that she dumped him in an ethical way, and that she was ready to Date again, AND that she hadnt fooked a bunch of guys in between. really tall order!

i mean her leaving him would not reflect well on HER. unless he was an abusive italian brute hahahaha. but i got the impression he was not the supplicating type and could probably Maintain FRAME. but like I say, he was not tall or strong or super handsome really. he looked like a member of the grateful dead or allman brothers or something.

but FRAME and CONFIDENCE is the MOST important thing.

ok took my Clerical Test. this is the actual computer test I got invited to because I sore 91% on the retarded 100 question multiple choice 2 hour exam hahahaha for the 13 DAH part time job. no actually this test was for the 37 k a year job, wow, waddya mean no city employee wanted that job.

i took a 3 minute typing test and got 69 wpm.  i will put this on my resume as 70 hahahaha. i know 70 is minimum for a lot of 10 DAH data entry jobs. the city job only wanted 40 wpm hahaha.

then there was an excel problem, a word problem, and writing a letter to a complaining person problem.

I used SUM and AVERAGE and created a Chart in the excel thing. I can use excel even VLOOKUPS hahaha but its hard for me to create a thing and have it look nice right away. it takes a few days of working with the sheet to tidy it up.

also the word thing, they said here copy this page. which included horizontal lines and weird styling and justified alignment and columns and insert shapes and styles and themes and shit.

then a question where I write a letter to a person complaining that the liberry fines is too damn high. so i said thank you for your concern, you’re right, some people do think they are too high, but unforutnately we had to increase the fines to meet out fiscal year budget. please visit the liberry to see your fines and tax dollars at work, with these excellent pogamz, such as immigrant ficki ficki raep appreciation pogams, and iphone ebooks about bondage billionaires and other important literature to enrich our dignified community.

i also said you can call me dear resident. I wonder if that is good or bad. becuase then you tie up resources on a squeaky wheel problem customer who will always find something to complain about.

imho the best way is to have the ceo say get the fook out of here, we dont need your business, asshole, youre wasting all our time and money. youre banned, bye bye. and there’s no one higher than me you can appeal to.

they should teach like 4 classes in high school on ALL the ins and outs of what to do in these tricky situations. and not just see a manager. but what the MANAGER would do, or what YOU would do if the manager doesnt WANT to deal with it, and tells YOU to deal with it.

anyway. im just saying. if there were crimes of the heart this would be one. she would be CONVICTED and SENTENCED due to the Incontrovertible Evidence that she committed a CRIME, did a BAD thing, and you just cant pretend its NOT a good thing. Oh thats ok that I killed him, he was being annoying. being annoying isnt a CRIME! well neither is abandoning, but I think its way more of a crime than being annoying!

YOU JUST DONT DO THIS TO PEOPLE, and I want her to UNDERSTAND THAT!!!!

is it MY JOB to make her understand that?

do I want to be with someone who doesn’t understand that?

I think she DOES understand it, shes just not motivated to act that way with ME.

because I’m not cool enough?

because she doesnt have any feelings for ME?

because it would be awkward as fook for her?

it just hurts me a lot. because I wasnt just some random guy and she just wasnt some random bitch. i knew her for 2.7 years and our friendship slowly got stronger and better and deeper until I fell in luv and then she closed off and then boom this is how it ends.

not a bang or a whimper or anything, just total silence.

just tell me i didnt deserve that! jsut tell me sorry for this pain. acknowledge! listen! hear!

ok i have made myself completely public on linkedin. this means i must not look at HER profile because then she will see it.  i have installed an extension that lets me block sites but linkedin urls are so fooked up, you get like a different session key thus different url every time so I had to use some wildcard shit which hopefully it works and I dont want to keep going to her page to find out.

also the cute gurls i worked with 4 years ago hahahahaha dont need them to know i am looking at them .

hopefully when she is 35 and miserable she looks back at this and is ASHAMED of what she did hahahaha.

yeah well my email address is on my linkedin page and on my indeed resume. anyone who knows my name can find my email address and contact me.

I just got dealt JJ on two hands in a row. first one i just about doubled up the starting stack. NOICE. second one, got folded to after a small raise.

and now i put it on my twitter page. i have maintained a twitter page of my real name since 2011 in the hopes of getting a grown up job hahahahaha.

in other words i hope she finds me on google and then finds my email address and then apologizes to me and says im sooooo sorrrrry i made a horrible mistake, now lets get together and i will luv u forever.

i am watching call the midwife i think is the name of this ridiculous english show and one woman is saying to a young mother, DONT ABANDON HER (your baby) BECAUSE YOU WERE ABANDONED! basically be the better person and break this horrible cycle of abandonment haha.

she just abandoned me because she had been abandoned and shit on too much. it was time for her to try doing it to someone else to see what it was like. to blow off some steam. to do this TO someone. and i was honestly the PERFECT candidate for abandonment. yep. it gives her some control, where when she was abandoned, she was at the “mercy” and control of others, and had no control herself.

 

WHEN SOMEONE BEGS YOU FOR BETTER CLOSURE, TRY TO GIVE THEM BETTER CLOSURE / EMOTIONALLY ILLITERATE / JELQ MUH DIQ

0128

emotional porn, inspiration porn, prolefeed. real feelgood stuff in MSM to hit proles right in the feels and adult women can gush about about post on FB feeds. overcoming the odds, OR just giving a trophy to everyone, AND becoming more degenerate by the day, ie “feelgood” stories about 10 year old transgendered kids and their mom gives them sex change hormones.

anyway i had a medium epiphany:

if the criteria of whether i betrayed her or not is only if SHE FEELS betrayed, her feelings are valid, they might be wrong or confused or misunderstood, but they are still valid.

well then MY feelings are JUST AS valid, and i am MORE THAN ENTITLED to say I FEEL SUPER HURT by being thrown away like a piece of meat! inhuman and inhumane! nobody likes to be dehumanized, depoersonalized like this.

but as a believer in objective truth and morality, i also want a less subjective standard for measuring/ identifying betrayal than just her confused illogical mind saying i feeeeeeeeeeeel betrayed therefore its betrayal.

i want an INDEPENDENT TRIBUNAL to investigage impartially and provide a verdict and say she was more wrong than i was!!!!! that it wasnt really betrayal!!!!

basically, if shes ENTITLED to think i betrayed her, i’m ENTITLED to think she hurt me! cuz what she did hurt the fook out of me!

you dont get to decide youre DONE with someone, and then avoid the responsibilities of Getting Rid of them. Dump a person, break their heart, AND just essential DELETE them without ACKNOWLEDGING that you are causing a human being huge pain, a person who cares about you greatly, and whom you once cared about.  its just fooked up.

this ammon bundy is handsome as fook! hope that goy has a good looking faithful wife and 8 children.

i mean shit. yeah i can see how a woman would feel betrayed. it taps into bullshit about the friendzone and niceguys….but it also DOESNT. niceguys pretend like they have no interest. they dont say what theyre thinking. BUT a problem i long had with the media narrative about niceguys is……in the micro situation of these women HANGING OUT with these Niceguys Secretly in Luv with them, arent the niceguys GIVING OFF HINTS??? doesnt the woman have ANY CLUE that these Just Friend Guys LIKE them? something never rang true to me about the way “niceguys” were portrayed.

and this applied to me as well: i was feeling great tension and expressing that tension through increasingly heavy handed hints. i wasnt pretending i had no feelings.

AND SHE NOTICED! however i dont know if she interpreted them correctly, ie, maybe she thought “whys he being so weird,” rather than “o noes, he has FEELINGS for me, thats why hes acting so weird.”

so i was communicating something, and she was noticing it. therefore, i was not HIDING it. therefore, it was not betrayal hahaha.

but i dont even KNOW that she CONSIDERS it a betrayal, or shes JUST UGH. ENOUGH ALREADY. UGH. dont feel betrayed, i just idk. ugh idk. just want him gone.

ITS ALL ABOUT YOU. YOURE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS REL. ITS NOT LIKE THERES TWO PEOPLE HERE.

ONLY YOUR FEELINGS MATTER. THE OTHER PERSON AND THEIR FEELINGS DONT MATTER AT ALL. thats why their heart can be broken and they can be thrown away like garbage. they dont exist, they dont matter hehehehe.

you almost NEED to ignore it and shut it out because you can ruminate and overanalyze this forever but you will never get anywhere. there are too many unknown unknowns hahahahaha. or they might be known unknowns. because we know that we dont know them. namely what did she actually think about all this. i shared my feelings with her, but she did not share her feelings with me. other than blocking me and thrown me away. this gives a pretty good indication of the feelings, but theres still unknowns: did she do this because she felt betrayed, or just because she was angry or annoyed? does it even MATTER? NO! I just HATE the idea that I BETRAYED somebody.

I DONT BETRAY PEOPLE. I AM TRUSTWORTHY ALWAYS. This is very important to me.

you can hate me and be angry at me, just dont call me a traitor or betrayer or liar or someone you cannot trust.  that is very triggering and rustling to me.

i mean ive done some shitty things im not proud of……but i do those things much much more to MYSELF than i do to OTHER PEOPLE. whereas it seems that normies are more likely to do shitty things to other people, and not to themselves.

0129

had dream where i was going back to muh job after months. i was in a bus with several of my favorite people from the job, and they were very nice and supportive, and we were all heading out there fr another horrible shift hahaha. there was complaining and grumbling about how horrible things were. how some people just “couldnt take it anymore” and just walked out, disappeared, stopped coming to WORK. there was a person on the bus talking about how she tried to speak with the main manager about something important, and was bitched out about interrupting the manager who had very important valuable work and couldnt waste time. you wanted to talk the manager, you set up an APPOINTMENT!!!!!! and then after being shooed away, they eavesdropped on the manager who was having a very lively and spirited and happy and hilarious conversation with somebody in a “gypsy language”, presumably romani/roma. but obviously not SRS BUSINESS.

and then i thought, oh shit, THAT WOMAN is gonna be there too. and i dont want to see her AT ALL. I am just gonna have to quit again! why did i agree to come back! and felt very nervous and dreadful. how was i gonna survive this life? this horrible job! AND ON TOP OF IT, having to see that woman every day, hating me and ignoring me, and i would probably confront her and she would be a huge bitch and portray me as the bad guy! why was i coming back here? oh god i hope this is just a horrible DREAM!

and IT WAS! so that dream kinda made me feel better about my controversial decision hahahaha.

how can she shit on ME and then still be mad at ME and make other people think IM the bad guy! she should be ASHAMED of what she did, yet she’s DOUBLING DOWN on her bitchiness and anger and hate towards me, when she’s ALREADY broken my heart, then she rationalizes it to herself that i DESERVED it!

what a MINDFOOK!!!!

and the job is already stoopid as fook, AND i have to deal with this woman on top of it? no thank you!

and i wish i could switch to pure hate so easily like she has. but ultimately i will always be in luv with her and always want her, so its like breaking my heart every day.

so the dream was actually good in that it reminded me that i made the right choice in doing what i did haha.

i betrayed her??!?!?!!?! SHE BETRAYED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! well i know it might not be a technical betrayal, but it was MUCH CLOSER to the realm of betrayal than what i did to her!!!!!

women wait until you get very close to them, fall in luv with them, then they totally CRUSH you. tear your heart out, stab it 900000000000000000000 times, after you have invested in them, gone all in with them…..and then you lose EVERYTHING and emerge as a totally broken ruined soul. they couldnt just dump you when you had invested just a LITTLE in them. they wait until you are madly in true lifelong luv with them, before they pull the rug out from underneath you. do they like ruining mens lives for NO REASON?????

hahahahaha.

no, if anything, no i have more respect for the other women who dumped me in a more appropriate kind manner. even if it wasnt perfect, they MADE AN EFFORT and recognized that i would be hurt, and they cared enough about that to TRY to do the right thing.

and less respect for HER, because she did NONE of this. made no effort.

make an effort. write 1 damn email.

thats what mindfooks me so much, is ultimately, how could she do this to ME? i knew she didnt LUV me, but i thought she CARED ABOUT ME AS A PERSON more than to do this to me. you just dont treat a person this way ever. unless they did something really really bad to you, and even THEN, its STILL better for you to take the high road than to descend into the muck with the person who did you wrong. DONT STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL. BE THE BETTER PERSON.

i thought there was more GOODWILL built up. even if i was on the OUTS with somebody, i wouldnt throw them away. i would appreciate them as a mostly decent person that i had good times with. i NEVER had big falling outs with people. usually we just Fade Away or Drift Away and are both on somewhat good terms at the end. but never huge falling outs, unless a woman is dumping me. and most times, heck ALL times till NOW, the woman made SOME kind of EFFORT to dump in a good way, to indicate that it wasnt my FAULT, that i did not do something horribly WRONG. basically its not you its me (meaning them, and dont blame yourself.)

SHE did the exact opposite, essentially saying YOU SHOULD BLAME YOURSELF. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. and i could not handle that. especially when im honestly not sure that it IS my fault. but on a bad day i can sure beleive that it was! and need to convince myself that it wasnt!

http://www.prevention.com/fitness/fitness-tips/how-increase-your-calories-burned-walking

i always see people doing a damn incline on the treadmill and it looks ridiculous, but the calories they burn are also enviable. the best is a weird 35 year old virgin looking man who does a full hour at like 5.5 mph and at least 10% incline (article recommends no more than 7.) this results in him burning at least 1000 calories in an hour, when i have to work hard to just do 500 an hour!!!!

well hes a weird virgin but hes not fat i tell ya!

so i wanted to look up some info about inclines. does it REALLY burn that MUCH MORE calories? initial evidence suggests yes, it actually works. maybe. hahahahhaa.

anyway. i just couldnt imagine how a person could do that to another. i cant wrap my mind around it.

even if a bitch cheated on me i would forgive her immediately, just please dont leave me. oh you can still see him, just tell me if you fook any other guys too, just dont dump me. i will let you do whatever you want as long as you please dont dump me.

this has always been my MO, because i HATE being dumped!!!! and that was when i was getting dumped NICELY! now i will hate getting dumped even MORE!

and yeah i would not be as surprised if this were someone i didnt know. some random bitch. but i actually KNEW her. i was once her friend. just because my feelings change for you doesnt mean you get to treat me like garbage. if i had a friend whose feelings changed for me, i wouldnt hate them, id still care for them, and id feel bad abotu not being able to reciprocate, and i would make a BIG effort to let them down as GENTLY as possible….not make NO effort and let them down as HARSHLY as possible! see how its such a big shocking mindfook!!!!!

and part of me wants to TELL her this, just for satisfaction, just for standing up for myself. when somebody shits on you hardcore, you stand up for yourself and say NO! NOT OK!!! and make sure they KNOW that what theyre doing is HORRIBLE! righteous indignation!!!!!

and i kinda did this in extremely nice, not angry, not blaming language, like yeah i see where youre coming from but i also think i did not deserve to be treated this way, i really dont think i betrayed you, lets just talk about this please.

rather than: you CANNOT do this, this is HORRIBLE, you SHOULD feel ashamed, you did a HORRIBLE thing and i want you to fully know it! SHAME ON YOU!!!!!

i never wanted to end a rel with such prejudice before. like i say, 99% of my rels that end, do so on a mutual drifting away with no real hard feelings. ive never just wanted to just GET RID of somebody. the women who dumped me, i always wanted to reconcile. my college roomate i had a big feud with, well i wanted to get rid of him. but even there the feeling was MUTUAL!  he wasnt BEGGING ME TO RECONCILE!!!! he hated me, i hated him!

when someone begs you for better closure, try to give them better closure.

KNOWING of course that all closure ultimately comes from within…….but the other person can CERTAINLY ease that along. being that they are in the rel with you, and they are dumping you. they can start you off with some good closure if they are willing. and why wouldnt they be willing?

i assumed from the years of goodwill, that she would be willing to lift a finger to give me at least a LITTLE good closure.

maybe in the future i will end up feeling hate and contempt for her, recognizing what a cowardly shitty thing she did to me. but to get to that point i have to stop wanting to reconcile with her!!!!!!

so THIS is the person i wanted to have a long term rel with? what if i was? what i married her and had chirren with her? how would that turn out! HARRIBLE!!!!

whats better, a woman who has been with 15+ guys, or a woman who has been with 2 guys but had 1 abortion?

whats better, a woman who has been with 10+ white guys, or a woman who has been with 2 guys, but one of them was nonwhite?

these sound like retarded philosophy thought experiments, but these are real world questions you have to ask when evaluating the long term wife potential of women!!!!!! its INSANE!!!!!

well, you figure activities like abortions and mudsharking are CORRELATED with being a slut. in other words, if a woman has been with a LOT of guys, chances are, she’s had SEVERAL abortions, and been with SEVERAL nonwhites.

you dont expect abortions and mudsharking out of a woman with a LOW number, in other words. but sometimes it happens!!!!

i dont like abortions, i dont like mudsharking, and i dont like SLUTS. but you cant have all three.

I’m not even sure if you can have TWO.

so, if you are dead set against a mudshark, then you have to accept that she’s been with a LOT of white guys and has had several abortions.

if you’re dead set against abortions, thats your dealbreaker, then she’s probably a slut, probably been with several black guys, and if she doesnt do abortions, then she probably has some bastard kids! and prob not white ones!

hehehe this is why men give up on women and go mgtow.

oh yeah i dont like when they have kids.

but you figure if they are enough pro abortion, they will just abort those kids.

so whats better, a woman who aborts their kids and thus has no kids, or a woman with bastard kids.

THESE are the questions you must deal with regarding the REAL PEOPLE who you are really interviewing for the role of your actual WIFE!!!!!

you get put in between such a rock and a hard place, and you say, well this is a total shit sandwich, cant i find a woman who fits BOTH criteria? has no abortions and ALSO has no kids? why is that TOO MUCH TO ASK in the current year? have the merchants destroyed ALL our women?

despair. making concessions. settling for less hahahaha. coming to believe your requirements are too much, your standards are too high. LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.

LOWER YOUR STANDARDS for your lifelong wife and the mother of your children.

see how shitty that is?

spend the rest of your life with and have kids with a piece of shit. mix your dna with them, and your kids will be half a piece of shit.

i wanted to communicate with her so i was pushing her to hang out.

if she wanted to commnicate with me, she would have been pushing me to hang out. 

and being that i also wanted to communicate, there would have been no pushing! we would have just communicated in a timely manner.

rather than me pushing to communicate, and her AVOIDING communicating. if she wanted to communicate, i wouldnt have NEEDED TO PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new browser brave from shamed mozilla founder brendan eich, who was forced out of firefox because he was against gay marriage. now he has founded brave.com with a bunch of j00s and SJW feminist techies hahahaha. but maybe they actually know their stuff. god knows i dont have the expertise to say if they do or not!!! i hate tech because its too confusing and there seems no pathway to figure it all out!! so when “cute” little 24 azn girls

https://archive.is/crRqx

https://brave.com/#team

start talking about code, im like, ya lost me at jquery. i dont even know how to javascript. yet a 24 year old azn girl who dropped out of high school, got a physics degree from MIT, then started a phd in CS at stanford, then dropped out, is now 24 or 25 years old, and gives talks at tech conferences all the time, and has Thirsty Leftist Tech Guys who make 100k+ a year lusting after her, is a senior developer on this browser hahahaha i do get frustrated. i took a bunch of tech classes to try to learn this stuff but it still doesnt make sense. its not that im an idiot, its more like i wasnt OBSESSED and Passionate the way these people are, coding 24 hours a day. after a while i had to say fook this shit i hate it, get it away from me.

so you gotta LUV it to be a damn programmer?

i was ultimately convinced i didnt have “what it takes” to be a CS major and get a CS/programming job. that you have to Love Programming and Tech in every fiber of your being; eat sleep and breathe this shit, and i certainly didnt. i just saw it as a means to an end, just wanted to be qualified for the lowest possible entry level tech job.

which as it turns out, is Tech Support, and you dont need ANY CS experience for that, and you just answer phones all day, and are confused and frustrated and nervous all day because you have no confidence that you know what youre doing, and are trying to bullshit to people all day. and then you quit because you just cant handle it any more and you fell in luv with your female friend at the job who just totally threw you under the bus!!!!!!

anyway, brave focuses on eliminating the Ad Bullshit and on being FAST. and also is concerned with privacy and not harvesting your information like j00gle chrome. seems promising so i downloaded the “developers build” and was able to open it and yes it does go pretty fast. it really does seem to go faster than chrome.

thats really what i care about. is it bloated? is it fast? does it have weird backdoors and shit and spy on me? are my main concerns.

and i jealous of young people that get to turn their AUTISM into a SUCCESSFUL CAREER cuz they can get THAT GOOD at understanding code because theyre damn AUTISTICALLY OBSESSED about coding.

this is why you should introduce kids to coding in FIRST GRADE and HOPE it sticks. then they get obsessed with it and teach themselves to code.

so yeah coding is a valuable skill for people to have, BUT…….not if you can just do stupid hello world shit like me. coding is only valuable if you can code at the level of a good CS graduate. now you dont actually have to have the degree, but you DO need to outperform good CS graduates.  can you do that? it takes a LOT of TISM to be able to do that.

i have some tism but not for that. my tism is basically for talking about Feelings and Women hahahaha.

these arent even philosophical, intellectual, masculine discussions. its totally feminine.  but i still cant talk TO WOMEN about it.

because not only are women Emotionally ILLITERATE, they speak an entirely different emotional LANGUAGE than men. i was very literate and articulate in my emotional language, but i couldnt communicate SHIT to her or actually her to me.

i talk about feelings all the time, too much, WAY too much, yet i couldnt communicate with her. i could just use stupid SIGNALS. and she could just use stupid SIGNALS. her signals were worse than mine! she didnt signal she was just gonna up and walk out and throw me away! i didnt see THAT coming!!!!!!

how do you drop out of high school and get into MIT?

how do you get a degree in PHYSICS but then go for a phd in CS?

i mean physics IS super respectable, its just super different than CS! why not get a BS in CS?

how do you get into a CS Phd at STANFORD, a decent skool? i mean its prob not as good as caltech or mit for CS, but its still good enough to get you a good 200k+ job.

you gotta work hard, make sacrifices, and be a little bit crazy / autistic / obsessed. and never get sidetracked from that goal by emotions or despair or life or setbacks or failures or rejections.

yet so many phd’s are batshit crazy, taking boatloads of psych meds. all of them are on ssri’s, and half of em are bipolar.

yet they still produce good work? well im talking about the tech ones. i mean CODE itself cant be fooking marxist to its core, thats one thing i like about code, compared to writing books and papers and articles that are marxist and antiwhite in their very fiber of being. code is not like that.

but that doesnt stop good coders from being sick marxist antiwhite SJW’s wanting ladybosses and more women in tech and teach girls to code etc.

what does it matter if you teach girls to write hello world code, if you have to be a DAMN GOOD CODER to get a damn tech job??????? it doesnt add up to me. you have to make the children AUTISTIC about coding so they build good coding skills and dont give it up.

i started, but i gave up, because it was super frustrating and i couldnt see it going anywhere!!!!!

i was kinda proud of the super complicated shit i did in C++, but i didnt feel ANY closer to what Real Coders did for Work!!!!! i still didnt understand the shit that 25 year old asian gurl MIT grads wrote about on their hacking/security blogs.

now im sure that gurl does do decent work. good for her. but i wonder if she would have gotten so far at such a young age, if she wasnt a hip qt little asian gurl who dresses like a cyberpunk slut when she gives tech talks, and Thirst Betas drooling over her asian ass hahahahaha. and i am SURE she has been with a LOT of guys, and i am SURE she is HORRIBLE to be in a rel with. because shes an autistic, successful, independent, stronk woman who has lots of wealthy guys showering her with attention all over the world.

just to clarify, yes im sure she does good work and probably deserves a good job in tech. i could never code that well because i dont have the code thirst hahahaha. i only took like 7 tech classes in college hahaha.  i dont know what node.js is. i dont know how to use a sniffer or why you would even use a sniffer or scraper. i know how to type tracert into a command prompt but i dont know what its telling me.

there were at least 3 young men at my shitty confusing tech support job who had full blown BS in CS degrees. not from MIT of courshe!!!!!!!!!!! and probably they were a lot like me: they saw this as a good meal ticket, a useful skill you could get a good job with…..but they were NOT AUTISTIC about it, they were just average coders, followers not leaders, they probably didnt understand node.js either, they just did the work and got their degree but did not have a github page filled with impressive personal projects. therefore they could not outcompete top american coders, and not get an entry level coding job, and therefore had to settle for a damn tech support job, with people without degrees, people with humanities degrees, people without A+ certification, etc. in other words if i got a CS degree i wouldnt get any further ahead than where i was. and getting a CS degree is hard as hell. “even” for these guys. it takes 4 hard years of full time hard CS courses! even being an average or below average CS grad is not a small achievement in my book!

its good to want to be the best……but you also have to make that want a reality, by ACTUALLY OUTPERFORMING everybody else and BEING the best. otherwise you just get stuck in a shitty job that literally drives you crazy and gives you a nervous breakdown and makes you Mentally Disabled 4 Lyfe! and now youre a damn HANDICAPPED person who needs DISABILITY payments because you CANT WORK, and you CANT LYFE. fook that shit.

while some gurl who is nowhere near as smart as you, and doesnt even know how to hello world, just goes with the flow and keeps makin the monay. im kinda jealous of HER!!!!!!

how could she NOT know i was hurting? in my email she never read and maybe doesnt even know i sent, i told her i was hurting. but the biggest signal was that i quit muh job because of her.

i never had someone quit their job because of me!!!!!

i like to think i would reach out to them and say WHOA HEY COME ON, you dont have to go THAT far, come on, DONT DO THAT, lets smooth things over and come up with an arrangment where you dont have to do that, we can still work together!

nope, no effort at that from her. and yes i DID want something like that from her! i wanted some sort of communication! and some sort of KINDNESS. why couldnt she show me even a SHRED of sympathy or kindness???!?!?!?! i didnt stab her in the back or the heart! we were friends for almost 3 years!

if you use a cigaret making machine, try to buy the same brand filter tubes as the brand of your machine. like premier or top. actually the gambler tubes worked allright for me even though i have a premier machine.

I ACTED IN GOOD FAITH with her at all times. even if i was scared to tell her an important thing. i always acted in good faith. i dont see how she could POSSIBLY act in good faith when she……….throws me away like a piece of garbage. there is no way you can do that in good faith.

GOOGLE thrown away like a piece of garbage

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=thrown%20away%20like%20a%20piece%20of%20garbage

hahahahaha

http://www.relationshiptalk.net/discarded-like-trash-7522931.html

https://archive.is/trylw    archive of ^^^^ this one

http://www.examiner.com/article/have-you-ever-been-thrown-away-like-garbage

uhhh she did not present those warning signs, did not seem overly selfish or narciss. but heres a good point:

QUOTE

Another generality is deep-seeded selfishness. Now before you rebel at this, let’s look at some of the ways that selfishness gets disguised. People who throw others away will use such justifications as…I didn’t love him/her anymore. or There were just too many problems. It was overwhelming. or The relationship got stale. We just weren’t growing. Underneath all of these justifications is a theme of Me Me Me. I don’t want to be with someone I no longer love. I don’t want to do the hard work that could repair this relationship. I don’t want to be bored. The basic underlying characteristic of a relationship is that it consists of two people…not one. People who are that deeply selfish, need to stay out of relationships. But we know this isn’t going to happen, because they won’t be honest with themselves and attempt to change. They will continue to leave destruction and pain in their paths.

END

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-spouses-discussions/general-support/2426364-thrown-away-like-trash

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1lhmin/me25m_with_my_gf_25f_of_8yrs_been_7_months_but/

broke up with him for no reason, he feels thrown away like a you know what, searched term on r/relships hahahaha

this ones pretty good too. he had her FB password and would log in and spy on her after the breakup to see that she fooked a new guy within 2 weeks and loved him, and said he was so much better than her xbf (the OP!) who was sitting there secretly reading these chats. thank god i never did that!!!!!!

he went through a horrible breakup, found a better woman, but they had to break up due to “circumstance”, probably somebody moving for a Career hahahaha. he is 24 and some kind of grad with a Career and even though he had 2 breakups that were worse than mine, and was devastated, he managed to start his career at a young age. maybe this was because he was not a drinker hahahahah or maybe he was an autisticcally talented coder from a good skool hahahaha and companies where competing to give him jobs hahaha.

basically the point is the man is always wrong, the woman is always right. if the man asks for advice, women tell him, oh heres all the things you did wrong that you didnt realize, now go beg for forgiveness. actually begging is bad, just g and be more perfect and hope she doesnt dump you, you dont deserve her hahahaha. she can do whatever she wants to you and you have to TAKE IT cuz its ALL ABOUT HER, ME ME ME ME ME, and if you dont like it, you can get out, you cant HANDLE such an AWESOME woman, youre no MAN enough to DESERVE her, if you cant HANDLE her at her worst, you dont DESERVE her at her best, or even when she’s being merely not shitty,

you woman hating needle dicked f4ggot rapey entitled niceguy creeper weirdo weak cowardly bitter hateful immature insecure clingy needy thirsty mamas boy!

like if you tell the gf she is acting like a child because she is throwing a stupid tantrum….YOURE the bad guy for talking to her like shes a CHILD. even though she is totally acting like a retarded bratty CHILD.

see

https://bu.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1cg3nc/my_22m_gf_20f_is_throwing_a_tantrum_that_includes/

anyway. if i ever wanted to GET RID of somebody, i MIGHT avoid them, but if they came at me begging for closure, begging for me to talk to them, and be nicer, i like to think i would be mature enough to say, wow, they are really hurting, i dont want to be responsible for that, im gonna at least try to SHOW THEM that im trying to let them down gently. that im making an effort, that i DONT want to HURT them.

hehhehehe and i am wasting SO MUCH precious time and money mourning over some woman who doesnt deserve it! shes making 15 DAH while i am making 0 DAH! more than 15 times what im making!!!!!!!  when i should not even be thinking about her ever, and making 16DAH while im doing it!!!!!!!!!!

so basically if someone does something, and you think, wow, i NEVER thought they could do something liek THAT to ME!!!!! then whats to say other people also wont hurt you in shocking, surprising, unknown unknown ways??? ways that you can never fathom or predict or understand or even prepare for or defend against?

they will find chinks in your armor you didnt even know were there, and slip the fookin sword in!!!!

bitches can

JELQ MUH DIQ

hahahahaha.

i couldnt remember what that word meant. i should not have looked it up hahahaha.

it just boggles my mind how much some stupid woman can hurt you, namely because you luv them TOO MUCH; and its mind boggling how DEGENERATE people can be. like her going off and jelqing dix of guys she just met. its just SO degen to be a slut doing promiscuous casual sex, it disgusts me SO much and makes me SO angry that women ruin themselves in such a disgraceful way. how can you make wives and mothers out of these pigs? i mean they would have to go through an INTENSIVE repentance and rehabilitation project.

so shes fooking guys, making videos, they are seeing and doing things i could only DREAM of, i never got to make out with her or cuddling with her, yet here they are fooking her up the ass and they dont even know each other or trust each other. something just seems so wrong about that. to indulge every sexual desire as quickly as possible. before getting to know each other.

how long does it take to really get to KNOW somebody?

at least a YEAR.

so wait at least a YEAR before having secs with a guy. bitches.

oh but he was so charming and secsy. i had no responsibility in the matter.

so youre saying you didnt consent? fook that shit. just make the CHOICE to CLOSE YOUR LEGS, WHORE.

say it with me: CLOSE YOUR LEGS, WHORE.

hahahahaha.

how HARD is it to KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED, WHORE.

very very very very very very hard, apparently.

HARDER THAN A GAMMA MALE TO GET SECS FROM A WOMAN.

yes. the woman you wanted to commit to and spend your life with and have children with, dumps you without a word, and goes and does PORNO DEGEN shit with random sleazy strangers, shit that makes schlomo rub his hands and say GOOD GOY, yes, discover yourself secsually, its so liberating, and theres nothing wrong with it!

so then women tell you, well you dont own her, she can make her own decisions, and if shes consenting to the promiscuous, pornographic secs, its all good.

well its true its her body and she can do whatever she wants. that doesnt make pornographic secs good or right or moral.

and all the worse when you were prepared to make real sacrifices for this woman, build a future with her. then she throws you away without a word.  now i have no PROOF she is out doing degenerate porno secs, but it wouldnt really surprise me. NOTHING would surprise me after the big surprise she gave me. if shes capable of THAT, shes capable of ANYTHING. abuse. abortion. torture. cheating. mvrder. degeneracy. promiscuous. porno. open rels. slippery slope. where does the degeneracy end??/?????!?!?!?! who knows??!?!?!?!

but i KNOW she USED to be a decent person. she wasnt hiding this secret alter ego from me all along. theres not even a secret alter ego i can blame it on. its just one big bad decision. in fact shes probably NOT having degen secs with randos, rather shes continuing being a Nice Gurl with her family, like she always was.

i just wish she had some REMORSE for this. and hadnt made such a BIG mistake. or at least showed REMORSE for it.

http://iqtest.dk/

i did this in like 20 out of 40 minutes and got a damn 115 IQ. that does not make me feel good about myself. i always thought i was more like 125 at least hahahahahaha. 115. i am a fooking idiot. i r not smart enough to become a stem master hahahaha.

i am the dumbest person on the trs forums hahaha

i could probably get a little higher if i got a few more questions right. its all pattern recognition but some of those patterns are RIDICULOUS mufooka. i guessed outright at at least 3 out of 40.