some people need to “sow their wild oats”, some people do not. GENERALLY, men should be able to, women should not be able to, because such makes women crazy sluts. BUT I guess if your wife had a wild past and you both can live with it, more power to you, whatever works. although it would certainly help you keep her in line if YOU had a wild past too, which she is well aware of, don’t you agree?
also: men with a wild past marrying a woman without a wild past, will on avg be the more successful marriage than an inexperienced man marrying a very experienced woman. Don’t you agree?
DR COMMON SENSE, they call me.
for example, I really still have some Banging of Young Girls I would PREFER to get out of my system, that will gnaw at me until I actually do it. You, on the other hand, may just not care at all, or have gotten your Fill already (prob not, if you’re reading this.)
It’s official, I officially make Gambling a Part Of This Blog, hahahaha. Because we Lazy Losers fail at every proper job we’ve ever had, and/or can’t get a proper FT job, or hold down a job, can’t deal with people, don’t interview well, fail fail fail, so we look for other less orthodox avenues to income generation, such as crime or gambling. I don’t encourage crime or anything illegal! and gambling is legal, but it’s certainly frowned upon by Polite Society and by Career Winners.
I also epiphanied that because Women are more into Careers nowadays, in order for them to be attracted to a Man Over Her Career, that man HAS to have a career that’s more successful or prestigious or alpha than Hers.
Unless you are alpha in other ways, like being REALLY manly, or somehow Rich (the manly rugged college dropout Plumbing Company Entrepreneur who’s Dating the Harvard Law Grad, for example), and artists and musicians ALWAYS get a free pvssy pass. Hint: pretend to be an artist or musician for guaranteed Young Wild Oats Action.
ANYWAY, Gambling. So I’m losing money right now. But I determined my Gambling Goal was simply to Make Money. Not even a lot of money. Just a little money. MAKE a little money on a regular basis, just a little extra money. Simple goal right?
Well right now I’m losing money. I have lost…..about 75 dollars all time. which means in order to Make Money, I have to win that 75 dollars back and THEN start winning money.
I am viewing this loss as the “barrier to entry” and that I should PLAN to lose a LITTLE more before I get GOOD enough to consistently WIN money. How much? Let’s say 500 dollars. If I’m still losing THEN, then it’s time to think about quitting. but I’m not even 20% there! I got a lot of Practice Gambling left to do!
So this blog will give a log / report of how much I’ve won/lost, how I’m changing my style, what I’m doing, what effect it has. I’ve already been doing this. And if I can change from a LOSING player to a WINNING player, well that’s a great Metaphor for the Larger Mission of this blog.
Plus I simply LOVE to play. I could play all day. Well, 8 hours a day for sure, just as if it were a job. I’d rather be playing 8 straight hours of cards rather than working at my job! It would be NICE to make it every bit as profitable!
I LIKE playing more than just about anything else: more than work, more than school, more than watching tv, more than music, it’s become my all-consuming hobby. Do What You Love they say, and the money will come naturally, hehehehehe.
SO, this is now officially part of my mission. 30% or so.
SO, I just bought “Texas Holdem For DUMMIES” By Mark Harlan
because I really like the Dummies books, and stuff on the internet is not beginner friendly, or ADD friendly, or when you have Anger Problems and can’t read poorly-written jargon-filled stuff by people who are not good writers.
I also determined that I have Adolescent Angst which simply NEVER WENT AWAY. I am a Moody, Angry Teen who hates everything, and that never left me for whatever reason. I don’t even care about removing that so much as I do about Becoming A Winner, plenty of Gainfully Employed Winners also have Anger Problems or are Obnoxious or Troubled People….but they Function In Life at least! They hold down FT jobs and Have S’ual Relations and are able to do The Most Important Things in life, despite them being Huge Douchebags!
SO, join me as I attempt to improve my game and make money not lose money. I had been reading “Harrington on holdem” vol 1, a supposed classic, but…..i can’t make it work for me. these experts don’t know how to write for Newbs. I’m not even really a Newb, I have been playing for about 2 years here!
So I play conservatively, I don’t even Bluff, maybe that’s a problem.
I also am bad about reading my opponents for bluffs or patterns; and real bad about studying odds and outs. so hopefully improving those skills will translate to Ca$h.
yes, it would help to actually WATCH my opponents for patterns, rather than switching to other windows, and just waiting for the poker window to pop up. Perhaps my liking for internet multiasking and blogging is causing me to lose here!
can you play “too conservatively”, and thus slowly lose money, not being able to even cover the cost of the blinds?
also, pot odds.
also, let me officially comment that 36 lovers for lindsey lohan makes her a huge skank, but I would still like to bone her and her huge t1ts.
but I do think more women need to come out and Just Say Their Number. For example, is 36 not really that much about average for an attractive woman of that age? Probably, but then again I think 20 c0x would also make you a filthy wh0re.
10 too. 10 measly cox is too many for a woman to take.
If you are being Micromanaged at your Underjob and don’t appreciate it, all the more because you do a ridiculously good job, then write a brief story about it you can tell in an interview later. But specifically go out of your way to say that none of your previous employers did this, because you can’t speak poorly of prev employers. just say, hypoethetically, this is an example of poor management, and here’s what i would do instead. Because I’m a LEADER not a MANAGER. I don’t just do things right, I Do The Right Thing. I Inspire by Example.
Drink Tea / Iced Tea throughout the day instead of coffee all day if you have to stay up for like 36 hours straight to get all your werk done. Coffee is fine at the beginning and middle of the day, but too much too fast will dehydrate you and make you poop your pants. So have two coffee breaks, and rest of the day, drink strong tea.
If you don’t have time to use a Cigarette Machine to make Cigarettes, just buy Roll Your Own and Roll Each Cigarette as you “need” them. Like I’ve been too lazy to sit down and use the machine to make 20 cigs, but I would be willing to ROLL a cig, if I had some Papers.
Note: do NOT buy Zig Zag papers, because they turn brown easily and always look like you’re smokign a Huge Joint. It looks SO Bad.
Buy a bag of Bugler Tobacco, or even better, a huge bag of Pipe Tobacco, and just roll that.
This is all assuming you don’t smoke a LOT. For example, I am lucky to smoke 1 pack per week. less than 3 cigs per day. Usually just one.
Find your local friendly pawn shop and/or gold shop, and start out buying some SILVER there. Silver is like the Poor Man’s Gold. Be sure you check the Market Price before you get there. Right now the price was about $21 an ounce. So go and buy an ounce and see how much it is worth in a year. I remember around 2 years ago when silver was like $15 an ounce. Now it’s $22. Not Bad, uh???? Imagine if I had bought 10 ounces back then! 16 Ounces!
WOW, got home at 1 am, woke up at 453 am, in at 7am, now 752 am. DEF could not do this more than once every….3 weeks? 2 weeks? Anyway I showed largesse by doing a social call, the LESSON LEARNED, and there’s almost always a LESSON LEARNED, that’s the whole reason I tell STORIES, is that
* You should try to sacrifice your Sleep once in a while to Hang Out with your Friends especially if they are doing a fun event. Just to show you care. I was making a tradeoff of sacrificing a regular and beloved Social Event, because of Time Sched Changes, basically, wanting to get proper sleep for getting up Super Early in the AM. Super Early, like earlier than average even for normalfg successfuls with upper working class careerjobs.
CHECK YOUR FRIEND-HAVING PRIVILEGE, NON-WIZARD SCUM.
10 pm should not be up so late but had to do a min quota of hw, and it’s still 3 hours earlier than last night. HAD to lay down to check my nap having privilege today. Said I would do for 2 hours but knew full well it would be longer. ended up being 3 or 4 hours, not suprising. wasted a bunch of time listening to lifelover and joy division and playing around with the long awaited new version of f.lux: darkroom settings, “ember” brightness at night, really quite friendly on the eyes, even set it to slightly dimmer for during the day, with the hypoth that the comp screen is Just Too Damn Bright Even During The Day.
Lifelover is real kewl, and great for us Emo Feelz Types. Wish they coulda lasted longer. You might think they’re corny but I still find them very honest. Honest Angst here. Anger, Hatred, Sadness, all wrapped up in catchy melodies and painful vocals. Dark haunting bits as well. One of a kind sound, even if all their songs sound The Same, it’s a good sound, hehehe. Would have liked to see them years from now, but the guy died at age 25 or so. pretty simple concept, amazing no one else did it sooner. what is a good “lifelover ripoff band” that can continue that sorta thing. I think you COULD “rip them off” in a respectful way and add new things to that sound. so much potential. Dark Metal combined with Dark Pop essentially. struggle to find the perfect production though. real hard to do programmed drums and make them sound good. prefer the live drums on “dekadens.”
Use f.lux to protect your eyes from the bright computer screen.
new shoes are breaking in ok, might take 2 weeks or more for full break in.
Go to Youtube , type in leadership, and watch vidyas by leadership gurus talking about leadership. Leadership is the same thing as “Management” but uses different BS Buzzwords, and ATM IMHO the Leadership Buzzwords will work better in an Interview than Management Buzzwords. Sounds more Emotionally Intelligent for Today’s Sensitive Managers. Unless you’re interview for a Manager Job, then maybe use a combination of Management AND Leadership Buzzwords. But if you’re a Loser reading this blog, then f00k no, you’re not gonna be managing anybody, you are competing for a spot at the bottom of the barrel.
Buy a little Wahl trimmer so you can trim the annoying hair by your ears that starts to look real bad after a few months.
Again, I cannot emphasize enough, DO NOT BUY WHITE T-SHIRTS. When you’re in the socks and underwear aisle reaching for a pack of 3 white tshirts, JUST SAY NO, and look directly to the left or right, and buy the Black or Grey ones instead. Pref Grey. Because after like one washing, the white shirt will look all yellow and shabby, like you never shower or wash your clothes, and will be immediately obvious underneath your dress shirt. White shirts looks dirty even when they’re clean.
Now, it might look unprofessional to wear a black tshirt under a white dress shirt, if you’re an Investment Banker who always needs to look his best. But, more than likely, that’s not you, and you can get away with wearing a nonwhite tshirt under your Work Shirt. This is an improvement even if you’re just a loser working at mcdonalds or ralphs. Although they might have a strict dress code against that.
fri oct 18th
ok done prepping muh series of 4 shorter posts. u should be seeing this on oct 24th. here are a few last minute protips. You can come up with new, useful Protips Erry Day. Erry Day should be a neverending stream of protips and lifehacks and cheat codes on how to win at life. good idea after good idea.
Protip: go into spotify and into your starred list of 3000 songs. then order them by DATE ADDED and copy the songs from the past THREE MONTHS to a new list, and then play THAT new list on Random Shuffle. This will give you like a greatest hits of the past 3 months.
HOWEVER, it’s not fool proof. I GUESS an alternate approach would be to make a similar list from your History from the Past 3 months. Because if what if during the past 3 months you listened to a lot of nonstarred songs, OR songs that were starred longer than 3 months ago! Note: HISTORY is under “PLAY QUEUE.” Spotify really needs to HIRE ME to make them better. That’s my VALUE ADD.
* Do your own readings of stuff. for example I came back to one of my favourite blogs after not reading it for a few months, and found a few New Classic articles they’d written since, along with Epic Comment Threads. I thought, gee, wouldn’t it be neat if they could have this discussion in Talk Radio format. and then I thought of doing a dramatic, passionate Reading of the original post, the comments, interspersed with my Own Commentary as someone who has an Informed Opinion on these writers and Their Opinions.
Because I prefer listening to speakers rather than reading words many times. Speakers really bring the words to life. I would do a Reading of All My Blogs if I didn’t care so much about muh anonymity.
mon 852 am sept 23 2013
ok. so, do a “mood monitor” for every day. make a spreadsheet or graph. put down the WORST you felt that day (1 thru 10), what TIME that was; and then the BEST you felt that day, what time THAT was; and then estimate an AVERAGE of your mood throughout the day.
This will give you a much clearer picture of Your Moods Throughout the day. you already know you have good times and bad times throughout the day. mood changes from horrible to slightly better at various times. but it can be tricky knowing when you can expect what. But this way, if you start feeling real bad, you have more evidence with which to say, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, I’m just as my relative minimum for the day.
Even use a Free Spreadsheet to log it if you want, and make a nice Graph of the Function.
Spreadsheet might be best and easiest. Because I KNOW you probably wanna Analyze this Data, because it’s about as relevant to your own life as it gets.
Alternately: check your mood at certain times every day, like 3 times a day. When you get up, middle of your day, and right before bed. that might be a little tryhard though, and also you’re focusing in on times, rather than on Best and Worst Moods, and those I think are the important things to rememb.
Anyway, say you feeeeeeeeeel like ending it all, then you notice it’s X o clock, and now you know that there’s a pattern there, so you can say, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, especially if you tend to Feeeeeel happier a few hours after that.
LUST is a Building Block of Love. Sometimes we slowly build up some quite signif love on top of a base of lust. And there’s nothign wrong with that, indeed, now I’m thinking lust is NECESSARY fro True Love to develop. Last wimmin I was in LOVE with, there was DEFINITELY a REAL portion of LUST in there. I mean I wanted her to SOMF All Day, Every Day, Till The End Of Time. But because I saw her semi regularly, and liked her personality as well as her body, and decided I was going to Make An Effort to Court Her. and as this effort grew and time passed, so was the Love I Molding in with the Lust. So not only did I want her to SOMF, I wanted ONLY her to SOMF, and For Ever, and also to do Massive Cuddling, and Marrying, and Growing Old, and Babies, and Handholding, and Summer Weekends At The Lake Cottage, and Winters Cuddling, and Movie Night, and Date Night, and Making Out, etc.
But that chapter is closed, that too has passed, though I still think about her sometimes OBVIOUSLY. But Thank GOD I don’t actually have to SEE her, hopefully that last time (2 months ago??) was THE last time.
Anyway. Love Does Include Lust. Perhaps the Lust is the source of the Craziness/Insanity of Love.
So there’s a Woman I get along with Real Well and would prob be a good mother of my Chillunz, and a good Wife, however I have absolutely NO lust for her. However I would seriously consider Marriage and Children with her IF there were an agreement to get Muh Lust on Extramaritally. The gotcha is, what if one of those Extramartial Lusts turns into a True Love as with Girl7, ie becomes a wimmin I REALLY wanna WifeChilluns? Which Way is the Better way? WifeChilluns with a woman you get along with real well but No Lust, or, WifeChilluns with a Woman that’s The Whole Damn Package? Noting that with The Whole damn Package, it can be a lot harder to Get
* Force Yourself to Get Interested in Investment and Financial Planning so you can Save for the Long Term. Because if you’re Lucky Enough to have a JOb with a Pension, you prob won’t be Lucky Enough to actually GET that pension when you old, because the Plutocrats like it when you Die, and you have no legal protection against that. Your Pension is not guaranteed. The only thing that IS guaranteed is the Gold you bury in the backyard, assuming no-one steals that. pull a walter white with barrels of cash buried underground.
Put As Much Money as you can into your 401k if you have one. Real Good Employers will actually MATCH your contribution…….but that’s only if you’re a Top 2% Elite, went to HYPSM, and have a HYPSM Career Job, hahahaha, so, no need to even mention it here. If you had a decent job you wouldn’t BE a Loser!
10:24 am, tues, sept 24 2013
* take a few minutes to Make A Spreadsheet like I described above. I went and did this. It Worked like a magic bullet. I made one google spreadsheet book, with three sheets.
2: DailySched:Day Mon thru Sun,, date, 12 am thru 11pm, 1 hour per line, essentially a daily calendar, but more anal than Google Calendar, or maybe not. where needed, split into half hours.
3: Achievements: Day, Date, Task, Duration in minutes, enjoyment, difficult, achievement, comments. This is when you force yourself to do Responsible Person chores, errands, and Responsibilities. the stuff you should do, but always procrast on because you’re a lazy loser. homework, jobsearch, exercise, shopping, errands, cleaning, appointments. basically the idea is, you dread doing the stuff and put it off, but if you FORCE yourself to do it, it’s usually NOT as painful as you expect, AND you get a HUGE sense of accomplishment from actually doing the thing, and THAT is the pleasure or enjoyment you’re looking for. It comes AFTER, and offsets the sense of dread before. This is how Good Habits are Built, doing this kinda stuff every day. So you turn it into a spreadsheet, so now you have Tangible Physical Measurements and Data to Convince your Diseased Brain.
So now I have that. kinda a work in progress, just crapped it out as fast as possible, you can’t be a perfectionist with these spreadsheets, just start them. like that 3rd one, still not sure the terms to use / variables to measure / etc.
and then if you have a smartphone like all the other jerkoff degenerates, you can easily update this from the comfort of your bed or lazy chair.
* protip: watch JEOPARDY every day if you can. there is some real feelgood medicine right there. get real competitive with the people on the telly. shout out the answers. call them f4gg0ts and racist slurs. if you have any friends, watch jeopardy with them and compete with them too. it is a shame to forget abotu and not watch jeopardy, because it will improve your life and health. and it’s frighteningly easy to FORGET it’s even there. don’t forget to pick up the $500 bill on the sidewalk right in front of you!!!
schedule it in your Daily Activity Schedule, every day at 7:30 pm!!
* When you take your Pants off at the end of a Long Day, try Spraying Lysol into the Crotch/Buttocks/Thighs region to Freshen them up for the next time you wear them. Because you probably have less pants than shirts, and prob wear pants more inbetween washings, plus if you have a lot of pants, then that sucks for doing laundry because 1 pants = like 3 shirts. So this is a great Workaround to Freshen the pants inbetween wearings.
* Also do the same thing with your Shoes at the end of the day. Just a tiny spritz to kill the smelly bacteria.
* Lookup “fake name generator”, lord that is fun! It also conveniently links to a Fake Email Generator for every Fake Name. I used it to sign up for OKCupid and Adult Friend Finder using ridiculous fake names. Because you gotta Sign Up in order to view profiles on these sites. Anyway AFF is for all intents and purposes a PAY site, you have to PAY to view people’s full profiles! So that sucks. And on OKC you have to upload a picture to look at other people’s pictures. i guess you could upload a fake picture, but that’s not a recommendation, they can prob ban you for that.
anyway the fake email is not secure, anyone can look at it, and it gets deleted every 24 hours. it is good enough for clicking on the confirmation email to prove you’re not a robot, though.
not sure if this will work for facebook, cuz I think they do some stupid sh1t like needing a phone number.
yep the site autogenerates a Username and Password for your fake “identity” too! REAL convenient and easy! just make sure you save them in your browser so you don’t forget.
fri, 1146am, sept 27 2013
day off, scheduled to do a “godawful chore” for 1 hour right now, but I might do that later, gotta post a post at least ONCE a week!
Yes, the entire SERIES deserves to be watched twice. 120 hours of Television Watching. Three Whole Fulltime Job Work Weeks. Probably enough to justify putting on your Resume as an Unpaid Internship (remembering it takes One Thousand Hours of Unpaid Internship to Prove Your Worthy of an Entry Level Fulltime $12 an Hour Job (assuming you also have your Educational Credentials.)).
“CREDENTIALISM”, there’s a tag/subject I should be using more. I fully believe it that people of average intelligence (100 IQ, maybe even 90, way dumber than US, is what I’m saying, we Neet Lazy Losers are prob closer to the neighborhood of 120!) can LEARN how to do MOST jobs with a little bit of training and time.
Perfect example: you shouldn’t need a HOSPITALITY DEGREE to work at a HOTEL DESK. You never USED to need to! Because you don’t NEED 4 years of College to learn how to serve customers at a Desk! A Grade school Dropout could learn, given a little bit of training, and some Time to get him over the Learning Curve! But NOW we have HOSPITALITY degrees to prove you really WANT to work in a HOTEL for your career. CREDENTIALISM. Too many people, too few JOBS.
hehehe. I hear the h1 tags are good for the search engine.
Anyway. all the people might be right that Breaking Bad is the best show of all time. I have been Caught Up for quite a while and haven’t seen the older seasons in a LOOOONNNGGGG time, so those almost seem like a Different Show. Jane Dying, the first appearance of Gus Fring, Hank getting shot, the FLy in the lab episode, Walter first telling Skyler about his secret life, Skyler lying to Marie about the “gambling”, etc. Really complicated show, and things really do grow bit by bit. quite amazing. Walt seems so Innocent when he is a Small Time Meth Dealer, than what he is now. Walt really changes, while Jesse doesn’t seem to change as much, he always stays The Good Guy despite all the stuff that happens to him. He gets Crippling Depressed and Moody and Shuts Down, but IMHO he always stays the good guy.
And it’s fun watching older episodes even when you know where it’s all gonna end up. can’t say that for most movies or shows. so yeah. quite amazing. watch it. twice. guaranteed 120 hours of fun that will Uplift You. Much better than Game Of Thrones, which is Depraved, Violent, Immoral, Degenerate Filth.
Heck. Over your lifetime, you might even be able to watch it THREE times. For example, how does Jesse go from Jane to Andrea so quickly, is he just “transfering”, is it for real, but more importantly, why do we believe it’s real?
And let me emphasize how HILARIOUS the show it. Especially in the older seasons, before it got Super Serious and Major People started Dying. Not just Hilarious, but Better Written, More Hilarious, Funny Comedy than The Average Comedy Show! So, truly Superior Laffs! TOP Lel!!
ok. perfect example of something important. I shceduled the “godawful chore” for ONE measly hour, that I would go to the store and buy SHOES as QUICKLY as possible, the whole idea was to do it all, back and forth, buying the shoes, as FAST as f00king possible, so that the WHOLE task, driving and all, would take less than one hour. I still might do this later today. And then write it down in that Spreadsheet under the Achievements page. I know there would be:
A HUGE sense of satisfaction
it wouldn’t be AS BAD as I’ve built it up to be
The huge sense of Accomplishment would even outweigh what I’ve built it up to be in my Worst Nightmare!
Not to be narcissistic me me me me I I I I. I want you to apply these situations to yourself too, since I know you’ve prob faced the exact same thing.
If you’re looking for a few more hours of Nondrug fun, check out the Deep Web for a while. There is some RIDICULOUS stuff there. I shouldn’t say nondrug per se, because many people use it to buy lotsa drugs. But other ridiculous stuff: there’s this thing where you can buy a HIT MAN for $10,000 USD per Hit. Heh. Makes you think about the Value Of Human Life. They do say, no people under 16, and no “Top Ten” politicians. (NOTE: I AM MORALLY AGAINST AND DO NOT RECOMMEND MURDER OR PUTTING OUT HITS!)
Or buying Counterfeit Money. 100000 dollars worth of 50 dollar bills for 5000, hehehe. Now, passing counterfeit bills is certainly not as morally bad as MURDER, though I still don’t recommend it!!! If you get really desperate though, it might be a good last resort. heh. probably less morally reprehensible than welfare, hahahaha.
but yeah. like breaking bad, the deep web is a really FUN and INTERESTING thing that will get you out of your own head for a while. Just don’t do anything illegal or immoral! I Officially Recommend that you NOT do anything illegal or immoral on the Deep Web!
ok. get shoes. some real people really swear by zappos.com. that might be worth a try.
Edit/Update: ok i am looking at zappos for the first time, and i am actually impressed. not bad. might actually take the plunge. seem like better shoes than they have elsewhere. almost too many choices though. def worth looking at. $50 and under OF COURSE. hope there is a fool proof way of measuring your own foot.
if you do a lot of walking, get some bare bones “walking” shoes and add some fancy dr scholls inserts to them.
for underemployment, get the cheapest shoes you can that look nice, then add fancy inserts to them.
all right, take care of yourselves, DON’t K yourselves, It Gets Better, hehehehe, no but it really can, just do your spreadsheets, don’t marry, stay in skool, hahahaha, being a Secretary involves so much more Skill & Education than it did 40 years ago, hahahaha, tell your family and friends you Just Don’t INterview Well, get some new clothes, but don’t spend more than One Hour, go out and buy One piece of new clothing As QUICKLY as you possibly can and tell me you don’t feeeeeeeeeeeel haaaaaaaaaaaaappier.
Unemployment rates for states. Good Old ND at the top as I thought. But what OTHER states are good? SD. Nebraska. NOICE. Quite a surprising list though. Look at the bottom. Illinois? North carolina?? I thought these states were GOOD.
mond 9 16 623pm
switching times. weird, weird day. had the very rare chance to sleep in as long as humanly possible, which only happens a couple times a year, and this time I slept till about 3 pm, (checking muh privilege), even while going to bed the previous night at 11pm. sixteen hours of sleep. and i haven’t been particularly sleep deprived lately! however I felt absolutely euphoric after all that sleep, got a weird drug like feeling.
there was a fun erotic or romantic part in the dream as well. I was with a young 18yoqt and we both liked each other and I was teasing her a little like Lovers Do, and we were just at a gas station midway through a long drive to go up to a Lake House or something for a Fun Long Weekend For Lovers. Sun, Summer, Swimming, and certainly some Fun Nights to be had. Unfort the dream did not get into any of that, just the implication.
then the dreams got weird, shifted to a completely diff episode, and the girl was gone. damn. something weird like I was slowly being poisoned and turned into a mutant and going crazy from chernobyl-like nuclear radiation.
but the other one was real nice. heh. would be nice to experience that feel, hahahahaha. I am greedy for that feel.
would it be the same with a 30yo as with an 18yo? not sure. I don’t get as excited about the thought, that’s for sure!!!
tues 9-17 809pm
getting used to this docs. (official switching to google docs and saying f00k you to gmail drafts)
Is Pure MATH a good major?
Probably Yes. Math is probably the most important thing in the world. It underpins everything. It’s like philosophy. IF you can understand advanced math, you can understand anything and everything. All science comes out of math. Math should be the FIRST thing you learn. Don’t learn science until you learn math. Big Government Should Make A Law that All College Students Should Take: Calc 1 AND Calc2 AND Calc 3 AND Linear Algebra AND Finite Math AND DiffEQ AND DiffEQ 2 AND Stats 1 AND Stats 2. And THAT would WEED a lot of people out, do them a favour really.
was watching this semi ridic PBS docu called “God In America”. Kinda ridic and self-important, but also fun, I had never heard of this Briggs guy who started a lot of “modernizing” movement re Evangelical Protestants in the late 1800s, and there was then now Fundamentalists Vs MOdernizers, COnservatives vs LIberals. Now, I’m usu quite CONSERVATIVE, but I had to side with Briggs on this one, I don’t think Darwin or Science is any THREAT to religion and god, that Science and Religion can WORK TOGETHER to Shine LIght on each other, I share Briggs’s optimism. And while WJ Bryan was a charismatic guy and I like his Conservative Populism, and this Clarence Darrow was a little sneaky sleazebag, I ain’t no Fundamentalist. It was disappointing seeing christians fighting against each other over SCIENCE, when they COULD have been learning MATH. Even Fundamentalist Christians are allowed to take all those MATH courses!
And of course I was asking about the Catholic Immigrants from say Italy and Poland and Ireland, who were viewed with horrible disdain. But the show never discussed, just showed a bunch of city factory workers with dirt on their faces and calling them immigrants. missed opportunity.
But just to be on the safe side, I would major in Something Engineering, with a Minor in Math.
thurs 9 18
I MEAN double Major in An Engineering AND Math. Yes.
Have Paid Internships going all the way back to HIGH SCHOOL. At the VERY LEAST, Summer 1 of College. How about Summer 0 : Summer Between High School and College. Yeah. don’t want employers to think you are one of those bad college students and not a good college student.
Heh. I agree with Will Smith’s talentless son that the world would be a better place if everyone dropped out of school. Educational Institutions do not help the world, they hurt the world.
Education and Learning is for f4gg0ts, hahahaha. No, not really. but it can be hard to get your brain to work when you’re lazy and tired and old. have i said this already? but if your master strong solid employable skills, you will make money and be a winner in life and have a good job and make good money and attract good mates and afford to keep your loved ones safe from disease and violence.
Sometimes someone who looks and acts really dumb and annoying and you want to punch them in the face, turns out to be really smart and successful, a unstoppable top 1% College Student who is going to Medical Doctor Skool or Law Skool. And that, if anything, makes the situation even worse! Because you wanted them to be a big LOSER to match how annoying they are, not a big WINNER!!!
See here some classic Rumination which Dr Steve (Ilardi) sez you and me must STOP. Just cut it out. Pull The Plug. Play some games, rearragne the Queue, drink some water, get up and do pressups or situps or crunches or Capoeira or Wing Chun or prayers. Dr Steve suggests doing a Shared Activity with a Fran, if you have one. I guess the key is to stop the cycle of negative thoughts, true as they may be, and get out and do something. Go to Burlington Coat Factory and buy a suit for jobz interviewz.
thurs 9 19 740 am
holy smokes. dat feel when you close one day then opent he next day at yer underjob. actually not a horrible feel if you don’t ahve to do anything precision or stressful.
however, very likely I got less than 4 hours sleep. for a guy that likes at LEAST 9…
but was in good spirits, listened to a very grim, bleak, dreary, sorrowful, despairing song on repeat at least 5 times on the way over, it was bretty hilarious.
* If you have a Useless Degree and are 100k In Debt, then just leave your college degree OFF your resume to prove that You Don’t Think You’re Overqualified for a job that doesn’t “require” a college degree. Pretend you never graduated College and pretend you’re not 200k in debt!
* If it was a Name School, maybe put the Name on there, but imply you did not graduate.
* what a scam, amirite? yep. but one day you will be making good money and mating with good (young, qt) wimmin, then you won’t care about the scam you went through in the past.
* your wife b(_)rp5 5p3rm all over her t!t5
how to ruby on rails
how to calc 3
how to $12 an hour
how to good wief
friday sept 20 2013 1137 am
* So, live at home, go to Loser Community College, and take ALL the (harder) math classes they have. When you Babby Boomer Mom complains about you not wanting to grow up, show her the f00king ridiculous math problems you’re doing and say, “LOOK FAMILIAR? NO? THEN IN TODAYS WORLD, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO MAKE $12 AN HOUR. YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. BE THANKFUL YOU EVEN HAVE A JOB, BECAUSE WITH YOUR NONEXISTENT SKILL SET IN 2013, YOU WOULDN’T. I HAVE TO BE A SUPERGENIUS SUPERSCIENTIST TO GET THE SAME KIND OF JOB YOU HAD TO BE A COMPLETE IDIOT TO GET 30 YEARS AGO. YOU WOULDN’T SURVIVE A DAY IN 2013. BESIDES, COLLEGE COSTS 900000000000 TIMES MORE THAN IT DID FOR YOU, AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR MY FAMILY ONE DAY. OH WAIT, YOU DIDN’T GO TO COLLEGE???” and then go back to your Math Homework while she goes back to Celebrity and Reality Television, hehehehehehe.
* Do Manny Internships, Heck focus on internships ABOVE Classes, they’re prob more important anyway.
* NEVER take a class unless you have the CASH to pay for it ALL UP FRONT. NO credit cards, and ABSOLUTELY NO LOANS. NO CASH, NO CLASS. So It takes you 10 years to graduate college. BIG DEAL. Less Classes, Moar Internships. Internships don’t COST anything anyway. Except the money they’re not paying you for working, hahahahaha. f4gg0ts. so whaddya do, you gotta f4g the f4gg0ts right back.
* Don’t Ruminate On Your Past Failures, Go Out and do something fun (nondrugs) with your friends if you have any.
Heh. I like to check the search terms in the stats that bring people here. great stuff. indicates that I Know My Audience Well. today was “lazy research assistant.” heh. that was haunting. I actually WAS one of those once.
My Professor was a REAL nice guy. I did a good thing by Reaching out to a Nice Professor, and he truly was Real Nice and not an 4sshole……and then shortly after I Sh4t The Bed, shirking my work, becoming a lazy research assistant, because I couldn’t CONTROL MY FEELS ABOUT GRILLS. (GURLS). DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.
Where I should have been Busting My 4ss for the Prof, and really “leveraging” the niceness of the Prof to get me into a Good Job Somewhere Anywhere, NO, I slacked off and gave up, because I couldn’t handle Romantic Rejection. DON’T DO THIS.
Did I mention I’ve been listening to NOTHING but The Grateful Dead for a week straight? “Touch of Grey” is a great song too, fits RIGHT in with all their old classics. They were playing it since 1982 BTW. FYI.
When I was young, the Grateful Dead album EVERYBODY had was the “Skeletons in the closet” Greatest Hits CD. Heck this is a great place to start too! Even though it’s all Studio! It’s not like the dead sounded BAD in the studio!
* you know how hard you work and struggle and fight and thrash limbs and try not to drown and fight and grind and chip away at SKOOL? If you used about 33% of that Energy and Work and Fighting to Fix Your Loserness, then you would become a Winner and find skool, work, and luv easier!
* relates to my theory that we should teach 4 credit hour College Style Classes on how to Fix Your Loserness.
* WHILE keeping in mind that sometimes we need to Stop FIGHTING our “Depression” as Ajahn Brahm says. HOWEVER, I don’t think that means that we NECESSARILY need to STOP eating well, stop sleeping well, stop exercising, stop lifting, stop praying, etc.
* Because I think we can work to Fix our Laziness but it doesn’t HAVE to be Grueling, Draining, Fighting, it can be as “easy” as Reading A Book or Taking a WALK. Admitting that Reading Books can be REALLY HARD, but I find reading book specifically on the topic of Fixing Laziness is easier than reading a book on for example Computer Programming. Because it’s Super f00king Relevant to our lives and our immediate state of mind.
I don’t usually like doing super long posts because who’s gonna READ a 9000 word post, and considering I would like to Help People. So I promise not to do this every day! I USUALLY try to keep it to 1000. Although 800 would be ideal bc 1000 is a little long!
Anyway there IS some GREAT stuff in today’s 9000 word post. GREAT stuff. WELL worth reading. Heh, Heh. Job tips, Life Stories, Feels. The usu solid gold stuff.
yeah that’s been my thing: hard to CONCENTRATE. Not like this is a NEW problem whatsoever! But it really sums it up nicely: can’t concentrate on schoolwork, can’t concentrate on long term plans, can’t concentrate on job search, can’t concentrate on reading or studying, because there is so much anger, confusion, and hopelessness about everything, and every little thing is hard as f00k and draining. you don’t feel normal, don’t feel right.
So you say, what would a mature responsible adult do in this situation? And then go do it.
Today dropped off the application packet. Every god damn little thing. Not used to actually dropping off applications. So I said, WELL, OBVIOUSLY the BEST choice would be to hand deliver it to the person named. It gave a name. Anything to get them to remember you. don’t want to come all that way just to drop it off with “The Gatekeeper” at the front desk. But then I realized I didn’t have a great Spiel. Be lucky to have a 10 second spiel. Always been terrible at Spiels and Elevator Speeches. Struck out Three Times with that at the Job Fair. Be like, I hate everything but I’m smart, just gimme a 10 an hour Full Time Entry Level Job, I have a 120 IQ I Swear, I swear to god, you gotta help me, pleeeeeease, I don’t interview well but I DO do the job well. Maybe. And then I realized all of my clothes are kinda sh1tty. Wearing the same old clothes for years. REALLY gotta get new clothes, REALLY always been bad about shopping for Spiffy New Clothes Always. But I wasn’t gonna put on my Semi-Shoddy SUIT to drop off an application in 90 degree SuperHumid Weather. Though I would if I were actually working the job!
TLDR I asked the Gatekeeper for the person, said it was In Regards To the Job, they went back and checked, said they were not available, so I said thank ya very much and gave THEM my packet.
I put the Packet in a Manila Envelope. It was about 10 pages.
On the front of the envelope I put My Name, what It Was, and the person’s name. In hindsight I probably should have printed these on Avery Labels because that sends the signal that you know how to print labels. But I just printed it on paper, cut out the stuff, and taped it on with clear packing tape. Looked better than it sounds!
Protip: Learn CALLIGRAPHY or just real neat fancy Handwriting. My handwriting is not very professional looking, so I try to type everything. However, I would say, real fancy calligraphy would have also made a Positive Impact. Maybe. Definitely better than Everyday Chickenscratch!
Protip: All the people at your Current Job you would list as references, your new homework assignment is to actually ask them to write you a brief reference LETTER that you can use for All Jobs, and get them to send you the doc file so you can have it forever. Don’t even need to be sneaky about this. Be like I want to use this for various jobs in the future so just know I might be editing it to change the date, the position name, the company, so kinda make it a “Fill In The Blank letter.” And then just talk about what an awesome person I am.
Protip: This would prob only work if it’s An Underjob And Everybody There Knows It. If It’s a Upper Working Class Bigboy $10 an hour Fulltime Entry Level Bachelors Degree Job, your Superior might not like the idea of you Looking For Better Paying Work Elsewhere.
. go take a break buddy
However it’s still good to have references. Maybe LIE TO YOUR BOSS and tell them you are trying to……get nominated for Steering Committee At Church. That you’re Running For Unpaid Office. Church works. Or Boy Scouts, School Board, Kiwanis, Optimists, Elks, Moose, Masons, Church. MAYBE graduate school. That one could be risky. (Although If you ARE serious about going to Grad Skool, you WILL need Good, Relevant References.)
“HE’S SMART, HE JUST DOESN’T APPLY HIMSELF” is what they always said about you. APPLY YOURSELF. Well, actually, maybe they didn’t say that about you. They usually say that about High School Students. But because you got good grades in high school, they didn’t say you didn’t apply yourself. It wasn’t till College and Beyond that your Really Realized how much you weren’t applying yourself and how godawful that was.
Heh. This blog is especially intended for people who were Good in High School, but then REALLY Sh4t the Bed in COLLEGE. Became A Loser In College/University.
However if you became a loser in High School, well, I’m pretty welcoming, as long as you really “self-identify” with 30 year old kissless virgin wizard neet neckbeard r9k losers.
The type of person where people say, oh he started out so well, WHAT HAPPENED?
Well, a lotta things: bad habits, not applying yourself, not Engaging In School, not doing this, not doing that, more bad habits, laziness, procrastination, not caring, not adapting well to College, not adapting well to Life or Adult Life or even Late Adolescent Life really, a lotta things happened, lotta little things, maybe a few big things. And now you hate everything and can barely bring yourself to go out and buy clothes or talk to a College Counselor, and you try to trace it back. LET’S JUST ESTIMATE 18. Because even if you were angry and hateful and weird and nonnormal in high school, things didn’t get REALLLLY Bad until AFTER high school, when you went to college, as was expected for kids who did well in high school. THEN you ROYALLY F00ked up, and have been on that f00ked up road ever since.
Got off track, feel like you can’t get back on track. Or say you’ve been off track for 12 years – is it gonna take 12 years to get back on track? Heh so by age 42 you will be at the level of a Normalfag EIGHTEEN year old, hahahahahahahaha.
If you know these feels, this blog is for you!
I would say keep exercising, keep praying, keep Reaching Out To As Many PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE as possible for HELP and then following up with them, and also try martial arts classes, practice small talk, find the cheapest shrink you can and go at LEAST once every two weeks, although once a week would be ideal, and also try DBSA “Depression” Support Group meetings. Heh. I would like to try one of those if I weren’t so Lazy, Stubborn, and Afraid. And stop making EXCUSES, hahahahahaha.
Sh1t. MAYBE continue taking brain-destroying SSRI meds until you’re no longer a LOSER. I have been on like 5 mg of Paxil a day for months, trying to rid my brain of this Poison, but at this point, I’d almost rather have a Broken, Poisoned Brain and Be A Winner, than have a Drug-Free Brain and be a total f00king LOSER. Cost Benefit Analysis!
So I might go up to the Minimum Effective Therapeutic Dose, cuz I can guarantee you, 5 mg is prob well below it.
Like if the “cost” of your permanently fried brain is, it’s chemically no longer plagued with hateful angry thoughts and it’s easier for you to concentrate, and the Undrugged brain is full of Hate, Anger, and Unconcentration, well, I’ll take the Drugged Brain any day! Because the price of Being A Loser is the deciding factor.
You can try quitting meds once you’re a Winner In Life. Like people with Good Jobs and Good Mates.
But if you can’t even get a Sh1tty job, can’t get even a sh1tty mate, well, maybe it’s time to start taking those brain-frying drugs. Like your brain isn’t ALREADY fried most of the day, unable to concentrate, hateful angry scared neurotic thoughts all day.
ok you can skip this because it’s Off Topic:
Movie Review: “Session 9”
You don’t have to read the movie reviews if you don’t want to! It’s just one of those rare times when I am not filled with negative feels and can write about something else! Can actually use my brain for something that’s not feels! But boy howdy don’t think this means I would or could do all the work it takes to become a Career Film Critic! Talk about tons of graduate school, schmoozing, unpaid internships, reading marxist books on theory and what have you. No Thanks!
Well this was one of the better Average Movies I’ve seen in a while. I stayed up late, til like 240 am, because I really wanted to watch a Scary Movie, it’s been a while. This movie was solidly entertaining. i enjoy solid entertainment in addition to Horror and Ridiculous 8 hour long Foreign Art Films. But solid entertainment is hard to find. usually will go to TV shows for this: arrested development, game of thrones, breaking bad. starting to get a little bored with star trek tng. taking break from arrested d.
plus when you have so many anger feel and can’t concentrate, you can’t even concentrate on a TV show or movie!
Session 9 was surprisingly well written and well acted. Even David Caruso was good. 2001. Hazmat company must clean asbestos out of an abandoned insane asylum in one week. While abandoned asylums are all the rage on your TV ghost adventures and stuff, back in the day, s9 asylum would have been considered real fresh. one of the more exciting things I did during my Wasted Youth was to sort of explore an abandoned asylum one night. indeed a scary setting.
heh. but what I liked even more was the Real Life Working Men concept of these Blue Collar Guys just Working for a Living. Contractors making Bids to Do A Job. Stuff Working Class Men used to do before they had to go to college to make a working class living. stuff elite college kids have no idea exists. REALLY liked the character whose Father was a Big Lawyer, and the son himself went to Law School on “THE ONE YEAR PLAN” then dropped out and became a failure and a disappointment and now he works here. Or this other guy that talks about everybody needs an “EXIT PLAN” because they don’t want to be working this crap job the rest of their lives. That one guy doesn’t read book JUST FOR FUN, going back to law school and become a Successful Lawyer is HIS Exit Plan. but why did he leave law school? how’s he gonna get back INTO law school?
(and there is a whole community of disgruntled Law Students out there, who probably have the Worst Student Debt of Any Student, like 500k to everyone elses 50k, and they can’t get a job as a paralegal. Do NOT go to LAW SCHOOL unless you go to a GOOD one and REALLY know how to Network. Although many lawyers are extraverted normalfags)
But these questions are not too important to the movie, rather, I liked that the movie included Multidimensional Characters like that. Not expecting.
Just the idea of the man owning his own cleaning company, he’s getting stressed out cuz now he has a new baby to take care of, and so he begins lowballing bids where he hadn’t before, just because he needs jobs. and here they do a lowball bid and have to work themselves ragged to finish the job in one week for a Sweeeeet $10 grand bonus (presumably split 5 ways?), when before it was estimated it would take 2 or 3 weeks.
So you figure they need to work 16 hour days at LEAST, heheheh. Which they did not seem to do. But yeah it is as much a Working Job Movie as an Abandoned Asylum Movie.
Not bad, not bad. Just didn’t really bring the horror. One scary scene, maybe two. ANNNDDD the ending was a little weird. It threatened to jump the shark but didn’t REALLY jump the shark. Which is ALL GOOD, since most movies you can pinpoint the moment the shark is officially jumped, and it’s usually before halfway through.
So, not bad. Not ragingly awesome though. It could have been, had it been scarier and maybe a different 5th act. Worth Watching Once(tm)!