I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN

oct 5 2016

sheeeeeeit.

ok. got up and prepared for day like responsible man: shower, shave, breakfast, brush and floss, tied tie, now i am just waiting until i leave in 53 minutes to drive to interview starting at 2pm.

tell them at interview today that if it get the job at the “bank” uhhhh i have to take it. that is the one with int on upcoming tues that i am all excited about hehe. i mean it is a patently better job, better pay, prob better benefits, closer, i’d be an idiot not to. any non-failing business would agree with me hehehe.

leave for interview in 13 minutes. all dressed up atm. ready to go. try not to diaerrhoea.

shirt is def too big. pants are….not too small but they are “slim fit” unfort, so they will ALWAYS feel a little weird. i honestly could not find an ok looking blue suit that was not slim fit. it was the price i had to pay.

yeah just the idea that you need 100% accuracy and no errors, the job is, this NEEDS to be PERFECT, not 99.9%, but 100%, every time, your job is to make sure its PERFECT. ok i get that. but what i dont get is that asking a more experienced person to SIGN OFF on this is considered time wasting and hand holding and youre fired. NO. it should be Best Practices and Standard Operating Procedure to have a “Team Lead” Sign Off on your work.

oh golly gee i dont know what im doing but i hope its right because our paying client needs this airplane door to be 100% or else it will fly off at 140000 feet and 500 passengers will get sucked out the door to their deaths hahahaha.

or this bridge will fall apart and 1000 people will die and its on YOUR hands, lowly level 1 guy, not the Master Engineer who YOU thought “should” “sign off” on such an important project. no hes got better things to do like get drunk at lunch and look at Prep The Bull and Trap Porn on his work computer and make 4 times as much as you.

later

welp did my interview. it was kinda ridiculous but not in a horrible way. mainly the guy double booked his interviews for 2 people at the same time, there was a white man also dressed in a nice suit, but he seemed about 5 years older than me.  but healthy and regenerate looking hahaha. very healthy weight. anyway this other manager decided he would essentially do the interview with me, so i started talking to him, he was an all right guy, but then it was like ok lets see if the original manager is ready to talk to you now. so i ultimately talked to TWO managers one after the other and the whole thing took like 1 hour 40 minutes. thankfully both guys were nice and the company and job actually seemed all right EXCEPT there is a kind of sales/incentive pay structure, but there is a damn 13 week training program and starting at 17 dollars an hour at that time, so…..thats pretty good. the guy said the guys here were very “BLUE COLLAR” and i said thats great, I come from a blue collar family and have a Thick Skin to handle Bantz and F-Bombs hahahahaha.

i said all the right marketing bullshit about the companys culture and values and bla bla bla.

there were some times when i stumbled and sounded like an autist, similarly to how i did yesterday, but just like the person yesterday, they didnt jump on me for it or even seem to care. so i spilled the spaghetti a couple times, NO BIG DEAL. and that is ultimately pretty encouraging.

there was a sales office right there and they are hiring sales people too. i said my background was more geared towards Service Technician than Sales per se, although I DO have very good Communication and People skills and like to Educate people hahhahahahahaha.

but they also emphasized they are an Ethical company and do not try to sell people things they dont need. Which could be BS, but I said, Good, because I’m a very ethical guy and I wouldn’t want to sell people things they really don’t need. which is NOT BS!!!!!!!

well i have been so busy interviewing i missed the deadline for a few jobs to apply hehe. have to keep a PIPELINE going hahahahahahaha.

one thing i did like about the job today was that they had a lot of training. a LOT of training. 13 weeks. they said a lot of guys were confident at 8 weeks and said let me get out there, the the company wanted to err on the side of caution. and make sure people passed tests and got certified for jobs where certification was not Legally Mandatory.

now they could just be bullshitting to sell the job to me…..but its pretty good bullshit! shit yeah tell me more about how you make sure your people are fully trained.

since it does get into incentive based shit after training, i asked if any of the people really struggled with that. the manager said everyone is doing well and reaching goals. and these are salty technicians and not born smooth talking salesmen.

anyway i hate the idea that a woman will dump you as soon as you stop showing strength. that she can need you but GOD FORBID you ever need HER. is this really the way women are and i just have to accept it? I accept that men are stronger emotionally and physically and mentally than women and that men have to do MOST of the work……but I don’t think women cant be capable of doing any work at all. so you have to support her always, and she supports you NEVER? thats fookin gay.

yeah well she never gave up and walked out when her longterm boifran was freezing HER out. but im not sure he was being “WEAK” though. he was being strong but silent hahahaha. well, he might not have been being “STRONG” but he wasnt being WEAK either. he was jsut distant and cold and stubborn. but she made a real effort with him at least.

so yeah she was capable. jsut not with me. because i was weak hahahaha.

i just HATE the idea that you have to be PERFECT or else they LEAVE.

but thats clearly not true! her BF wasnt perfect and she gave him MORE than a fair chance! many women stay with men who are VERY not perfect!

yeah but these men present as strong, and not at all as weak. they dont get nervous or anxious. they might get ANGRY at the women always wanting to TALK and DO STUFF and FIX stuff. but the men are not freaking out like a hysterical WOMAN.

oct 6

 

classic album here, if you dont like this album, gtfo. train your 3dpd fat slob to like this album as you bang her hahahahaha.

as a lifelong fan of srs metal, i have learned the important and mature lesson than women who like metal = crazy = bad (im talking about like serious fans of black or death metal, not they like a few random hit metal songs by metallica or pantera or slayer or motorhead or iron maiden or something, that should be fine).

but yeah a woman that likes the CURE, i would still be pretty impressed by that. even though im old enough to KNOW BETTER about being IMPRESSED by a womans MUSICAL TASTE. its a traaaappp.

i dont even think robert smith is as big a degenerate as most musicians, well, assuming from the fact that he’s been married to the same woman for like 40 years.

never saw the cure live and they are one of the few on muh live concert bucket list. note to self, if i have feelings for a woman, do NOT take that woman to the cure concert, because i wont be able to remember that as a good memory when she dumps me and breaks my heart hahaha. go with a male friend or alone.

yeah hard to go wrong with the cure. it is smooth and chill, and beautiful, and melodic, romantic, catchy, and also sad and emo, and spine chilling, and this album is probably their best moment. the Lush Beauty of “pictures of you” to the super catchy hard rocking of “fascination street” and of course their biggest hit “lovesong” which is a great song. i mean its impossible not to like and RESPECT this album. for any fan of music. if you dislike this album YOUR JUST STUPID.

yeah i guess if youre a total hipster you could say its too mainstream and overplayed. its def mainstream but is it REALLY overplayed? are these REALLY boring songs? these are timeless, classic songs that are played a lot for a REASON.

it IS a little LONG though at 63 minutes, where 40 minutes is the ideal album length.

working class men on Worksites listen to MUSIC all day as they do their hard work. i think this is very significant and worth some thought. if you are listening to music, it is harder to PANIC and be ANXIOUS and NERVOUS, and ALSO it means you are CONSTANTLY TALKING and thinking on your feet to come up with Bullshit Explanations for both your supervisors and your customers. that is EXHAUSTING. its like CAMPAIGNING for president and you have to talk and bullshit all day. i could NEVER do that, i dont know where trump gets his ENERGY, but its safe to say he’s always been that way, and some people just ARE.

heheh i forgot about the 311 cover of lovesong. that is tbh pretty darn good fam hahahaha. pretty secsy for blowing out your bitches asshole hahahahaha. because they LIKE being treated like Jooish Pornographic Filth. Absolutely Disgusting. BELIEVE ME, I would rather treat them as Fragile Flowers, because I HATE Jooish Pornographic Filth. Hate that Disgusting SHit that has RUINED Women And Men. words cannot describe the HATE. i dont hate nonwhites, i might not even hate joos, but by god i HATE the disgusting filth that joos have created! I hate the evil they have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny that the cure has an album called “pornography.” as an old man, this to me is AWESOME because that is an INCREDIBLY dark, despairing, nihilistic album, and I think this terrible feel perfectly captures the actual real essence of pornography. it is not secsy or hot and all. it is empty and despairing and nihilistic and soulless and horrible. i’m not sure if thats what robert (first name basis hahahaha) was getting at, but i like to think he was hahahahaha.

and yeah “pictures of you” is a CLASSIC FOR A REASON!!!!! and perfectly captures Lost Love and Heartbreak and Regret and embodies what i have felt for the past 14 months hahahahahahaha. thankfully i can enjoy the song on its own merits as a way to express a personal emotion that was unshared with her, hahahaha. meaning, im glad i never cuddled or buttfooked her while listening to THE CURE or this album, because then it would actually REMIND me of her, rather than help me Get Over Muh Emotions ABOUT her. in other words, the cure is MY thing and not HER thing, definitely not OUR thing. well she probably likes a few cure songs but we never shared any cure moments, thank god.

NEVER share things with women hahahahaha cuz then you cant enjoy your favorite music and movies when they break your heart and leave you. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR FAVORITE THINGS FOR YOU. i mean thank god i can still listen to neil young, but it took a while! TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah i mean you get over it, but it sucked that i couldnt even listen to one of muh favorite music guys for months!!!!!!!!!!!!

want to get out of house before noon today (oh god that sounds so lazy and negrish!!!!!!) and do some errands

also prep for autist aba job interview tommorow

AND apply for 3 jobs because i think about 3 decent jobs are gonna “expire” by tommorow

AND get good powerwalk

AND get 14 pushups

AND eat less than 1200 calories because i went like EIGHT HUNDRED OVER yesterday, oy vey.

uhhhh 14 pushups is a good baby step, but all together that is a lot of baby steps hahahaha.

ok went to store

ok called the interview place and stalked the woman who will be interviewing me, she was supposed to email me 2 days ago but it never went thru because she typed my hard to spell email wrong.

i called her and aksed for her hard to spell email and successfully sent a message to her hahahaha. thankfully she does not have a masters degree and seems like a nice person from the stalking i did.

ok got the shit printed out, hehhehe if you have to print out 10 pages of shit for every interview, thats 250 pages hahahaha. i have already bought 2 black ink cartridges and am burning thru the 3rd one pretty quickly. so stupid.

not going to get a ton of sleep tonight, might blank out and do a gary johnson aleppo moment tomorrow. that really looks bad. well if he can get to be governor, i can get a 12 dollar an hour autism technician job.

uhhhh applied to 2 jobs today but not 3. prepared my info sheet for tomorrow.

this org clearly has a problem with people not sticking around. prob because they quickly find better paying jobs. and they cant afford to pay them more because they are a nonprofit org. so they are angry about people getting valuable autism training and then leaving before 10 months. but i……

i dunno i just hate being in a job and saying OH GOD HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING I CANT HANDLE THIS JOB OH GOD WHAT DO I DO OH GOD THIS IS RIDICULOUS WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS JOB OH YEAH BECAUSE THEY CANT FIND PEOPLE WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS WITHOUT QUITTING!!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THESE PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEEEEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY TO THEM I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOOOOOOOOOOOING HOW CAN YOU PUT ME OUT HERE IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also worry that the “workplace safety” job will do regular drug tests because you drive a company van. oh god i cant drive a large van!!!!!!! what if the van breaks down!!!!!!

i think this autism job would be more fun and i would enjoy it more and also be able to SURVIVE and WITHSTAND it better, because it is part time and because it is sort of in muh wheelhouse. well i am more conflicting about wanting the autism job vs the safety job, however in the autism vs the bank job, i def want the bank job!!!!!

hehehehe this is assuming i get offers from both jobs in these situations. VERY big assumptions!!!!!

does that mean i had a good feeling abotu the saftey job? kind of!

and i have kinda a good feeling about getting the autism job.

REALLY? I have been REJECTED for ELEVEN dollar an hour part time jobs recently, what reason do i have to be optimistic about a TWELVE DAH PT job? hahahahaha. well because my degree actually relates to this job, sort of, where it doesnt relate to “office administrative assistant” job. which is stupid. i mean the better degree for that would be business. even if i have 30 credits of business classes. doesnt matter i guess hahaha.

shit they might reject me because ive never worked with CHILDREN before. let alone autist children haha.

i wish you could negotiate training wages. meaning i would gladly accept minimum wage for the first month or however long it took for me to be rejected from the other 2 jobs i am in contention for. so if i got one of those jobs, the autism place wouldnt lose too much money training me. cuz its a decent org and i might want to reapply with them in a few years. for one of their FT jobs that dont exist, yeah sure hahahaha.

oct 7 firday

752 AM

up real early today, like a real working man, currently dressed up and ready to go to interview, did not prep so well. as predicted, did not sleep well. well i was up thinking until like 130 am. thankfully i did fall asleep and I was in the middle of an interesting dream that i was scheduled to be part of the death panel on the next daily shoah with k1ke enoch and “sven” and i was like iii dunno guys, what the hell am I gonna be able to add to this, im gonna sound like an idiot, but im honored you asked me, i really like TRS hahahahaha. this is probably muh first TRS related DREAM hahahahaha. much better than having dreams about you know WHO hahaha.

ok. like i say, its a tough call between autism job vs safety job. for a normie, no its not, the safety job BTFOs the autism because it pays more, more hours, FT, established company, health care, bennies etc.

12 pm

welp did the interview, sent thank you note, recorded it as 95 minutes. spent an hour in there, but onyl about 30 minutes talking to them, and like 20 minutes filling out a damn application by hand which was basically a copy of all the shit i already gave them. i will never understand these stupid hiring policies. filling out shit by hand. unbelievable. told them about muh desire for FT. they were very understanding. talked to a Masters Level Psychologist who is about 7 years younger than me, oy vey hahahahaha.

there might be young 3 year old children biting and smacking and pooping their pants and i have to put diapers on them. i think i would rather do this than answer phone calls hahahahaha.

i dont fookin know man i just want a job where i can get help if i need it and i am not constantly needing it and not constantly fighting and struggling to survive every day. good god. the type of exhausting, nervous struggle where you feel like you need to chug Whiskey straight from the bottle at the end of every day.

hehehe normal life is at least 2 to 3 times HARDER for me than for normies. not that normies have it easy! but the basics of Holding Down a Job and Banging A Bitch, those are at LEAST 3 times harder for me. lots of fear and failure hehehehe. lots of time wasted. lots of not getting anywhere.

on the degen show “better things” which im not sure why i am watching, well because i want to see a degen single mother raising degen girls, its really all about degen women, and is kinda like “GIRLS” in that regard. no husbands or fathers, mothers a whore, her oldest daughter is 16 and beautiful and is becoming a whore, the middle daughter is an autistic ocd 13 year old lesbian, so i guess all that is enough to sell me.

recent episode focused on the 16 year old daughter worried about her future, going to college and all that, what am i gonna do with my life, her high school guidance counselor says no ivy league for you, you shoulda started prepping for that a few years ago, might not have the grades for a good state shool, have you thought about community college?

now the red pill is that community college is awesome but it DOES have a reputation as for underachieving losers, so when you’re in high school, you shudder at the thought. then when 10 years later youre still a huge loser, you think, welp, i have been humbled, time to go to CC now that real University did not work out.

anyway the girl is very anxious and despairing and I totally related and found this storyline very compelling. i guess she smokes MJ and does not get 4.0 grades. dont know if she is a huge horrible slut. PROBABLY, knowing this degen show.

because they show the girl sitting with her degen mom and the degen moms friends all sitting around drinking and talking about ABORTIONS, like how many abotions you got, tell the story of that abortion, and i was like, they are trying WAY too hard to make this show edgy, and what EXACTLY are they trying to say? they were clearly trying to be provocative by having such a “FRANK” discussion of abortions while CHILDREN were amongst them, as if to say, this is NORMAL, this is not a big deal, we all have abortions, and you’ll get abortions too, its just a fact of life, rite of passage for a woman, dont be ashamed of this, its good to be pro choice, and if you get knocked up when you are having fun with Secsy Boys, you can and should totes get an abortion too.

so i felt sympathy for this poor girl just about to become a Woman, and that she was so FOOKED because her mother is such a damn baby murdering degenerate. so the beautiful 16 year old gurl is gonna become a slut REAL soon if she isnt already, prob lose V to badboi, then quickly start riding C carousel, throwing a bunch of betabois away, probably start cheating, not take secs seriously, not take human life seriously, the way she THROWS LIVES AWAY, develop 10000 C stare, never be able to have a serious rel with a man, just like her crazy whore mother who cant love a man either.  but is this “beautifully flawed” woman trying to raise 3 young daughters as a Single Working Mom who is very open about Secs and Abortions and Being Tuff and You Do You Grrrrrl.

and its NORMAL to be a slut and cheat and break hearts and throw people away and get abortions, sex is FUN FIRST and if you get preggers, no big deal, get an abortion, WEVE ALL DONE IT. and sometimes you just wanna get fooked, and if the guy is a sensitive virgin type an gets feelings, AW, TOO BAD SO SAD, its ok to Dump and Ghost him because you just wanted to Get Off.

and we are beautiful in our flaws and we are gonna be as flawed as possible.

and i like the show for confronting Real Shit, but i hate it for taking the wrong opinion on this shit. while at the same time having some good and sympathetic characters. i mean i dont even really hate the mom. but i should.

to make her daughter feel better, the mother took her to the store and made her dress in a Ladies Business Suit, and said there you are, you look just like those successful peopel who have their shit together, youre no different than them. it was actually sort of touching even though she should not be so worried about career and shit. she should have a good father who helps her find a good husband.

i mean the show could have pushed more Red Pills about You Dont Have To Go To College. Go To Trade School or Community College or Military.

so they talk to a bank teller and mom says do you have any college, teller says no just a GED and i started this job at age 22 and im 25 now.

this could have opened a real good conversation but they just left it there.

so do you portray the bank teller as a failure because they didnt go to college? no not at all, which i liked.

i would have liked more if they had a 30 year old with a masters degree living with his family because he is still trying to pay back 200k in student loans hahahaha and he’s done, he’s finished, given up on life, i’ll never get anyway, i wish i could have a family but i’ll never afford it, and i havent dated a woman in over 5 years hahahahaha. that would have been some great black pill shit.

basically, college educated 30 year olds who cant afford to move out hahahaha because they are only making 12 dollars an hour and are 80k in debt for useless college hahahaha.

tfw when you see a picture of FENRIZ when he was very young, like 20 or 21 or so, and realize he sort of reminds you of THAT WOMAN.

I was completely in luv and wanted to marry and have babies and spend muh life with and was devastated heartbroken for 15 months over a woman who looks like FENRIZ.

fenriz is currently 44 years old as is nocturno culto. culto has 2 children a son and a daughter. i do not think fenriz has any children. not sure how old cultos children are. i hope he is a good father to them.

but yeah there are like 2 pictures of 20 year old fenriz where he kinda looks like That Woman. so weird. i told you she was kidna weird looking hahahahaha. but like fenriz, she had nice long dark hair.

so darkthrone was offered 200k USD to play a festival for one show and they REFUSED. hell yes that shows some serious “INTEGRITY” but at the same time i have to think, you’d have to be stupid to turn that down!

Should a man with CHILDREN turn down 200k for 1 day of work just because of his artistic integrity?

basically I give them a PASS, and I think its kinda STUPID for a man with a FAMILY to turn that money down. even if you dont have a family, you still need money. maybe fenriz has bastard children he needs to pay child support. (speculation). maybe fenriz wants to take care of his aging parents. TAKE THE FOOKIN MONEY GUIZE.

heh. most people just like the music and dont really care about the people behind it.

I dont really care for the music and i am MORE interested in the PEOPLE behind it hahahaha.

i mean the story of these guys lives is WAY more interesting than listening to “plaguewielder” or “the cult is alive” hehehehehehehehe.

i say this because i am sort of excited about darkthrone again due to their brand new album which I am going to listen to today on powerwalk hehehe.

did 3.2 mile, 1 hour powerwalk, my normal walking pace is 3.2 mph and i am happy with that.

listened to new darkthrone album. it has great sound/production and is perfect length and it is not all ridiculous, but uhhh i was hoping it would be a little…..better hehehehe. i mean its no panzerfaust. i mean you can tell they are both enjoying themselves, theyre not just going through the motions, so i think a large part of the prob is me simply not being able to appreciate “new” music.

its hard to get the interest of women when you MAKE LESS THAN THEM. of course im talking about money. basically the only people that I make MORE than are total white trash and negroes hahahahaha. at least when i was making 30k, i was then good enough to pull white trash waitresses and such hahahahaha. and that was the best money i ever made in my life! when i was making like 12k a year, i was staying sane but what the HELL can you do on 12k a year? cant live, cant have a family, cant do anything. cant have a serious rel with a woman. i guess you could bang sluts because you sure arent gonna KEEP any women making only 12k!

wow she dumped him SUPER BAD, super insult to injury there. why do people do this? why do you HAVE to add insult to injury? i mean if i were this guy i would be devastated, my confidence would be CRUSHED for at least 15 months hahahahaha. this type of thing will DESTROY a guys confidence for a LONG time.

also when someone throws you away, people advise you, they dont know what they had, in 2 months they will miss you and be begging for you back. dont take them back. be better than that. they took you for granted the first time. dont give them that second chance.

and that def never happened here. she left me and NEVER looked back. feels bad man! that might even be worse. i wuld def forgive and take her back once. and if she pulled the same shit twice (like they often do) then i would kick her ass out (probably not hahahahaha). but she didnt even come back.

but i am doing my interviews so thats as good as i can ask. i have done about 36 hours of interviews roughly. i guess it would make sense to do 40 hours of interviews. maybe what the lord is teaching me is how to get good at interviews. thats the lesson for this 15 months of pain. how to do interviews. sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

but if i dont have an interview for a week, then i feel like i lose all those gains. and i need to have at least 2 or 3 interviews a week to get better. kinda like lifting hehehehe.

heh 330 pm and could totes take a nap. cuz i got up at 615am and did not fall asleep till 1 am.

 

super lengthy autistic post but an in depth picture of someone who actually DOES go to a shrink, and both people are willing to go to shrink, and it doesnt really improve things hehehehe. she still blames him.

but yeah he does seem too damn autistic and that is probably a problem.

also yeah she probably IS “depressed” but she should get that diagnosed well before 28. I sure did! because i was trying to improve myself so i could live a normal life with a job and a GF one day.

and good on this guy for improving himself from a fat virgin to an in shape, masters degree, successful, hardworking, guy with a GF. but he is still anal and autistic in a way that will hurt the rel, just as she hurts the rel with her “depression” and lack of interest and effort.

this album is regarded as DT coming back from a perhaps 3-album slump from 1996 to 2003 hahaha. fenriz said he was very derpressed and i guess was feeling better by the time of this album. and he was thankful to culto for essentially keeping the band alive during that time.

anyway i remember i actually bought the “plaguewielder” cd (used) back when cds were still a thing. i was like uhhhh this is not the greatest. and that was pretty much the end of darkthrone for me hahahaha and i never gave “hate them” a chance. i did give “sardonic wrath” a try and actually kinda liked that one. that came out following hate them.

anyway just trying to say i prefer this kind of vocal from culto. the hateful trve black metal vocal rather than the more i guess celtic frost vocal he’s doing now. which is not bad mind you, but the older vocal is better.

i mean there is no competition hehehe. however “boring” darkthrone may be, culto gives a Master Class in how to do good vocals.

62.9% labor force participation rate? that cant be good, unless labor force counts super old and super young people….which it probably shouldnt! and honestly i dont think it does. labor force is work age people. like 18 to 65 or whatever.

oh you know what i am not even gonna shit on plaguewielder anymore. it has shitty artwork but it sounds pretty similar to hate them with the riffage and sick vocals. also culto thanks tom waits on his short list of inspirations and shoutouts. in 2001 before i even knew who tom waits was unfortuantely. did not discover waits until 2003 or 4 at the latest.

also there are “blast beats” on these albums where i haven’t heard them on the newer albums. come on. you gotta have that.

trump scandal of him using “vulgar language about women.”

I DONT WANT A PRESIDENT WHO DOESNT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN!!!!

crude comments in 2005 interview about tits and pussy and whatever. who cares.

well, i kinda care if he is cheating on his wife, but not sure if he was married to her by then.

cuz its not cool to cheat on your wife but he has dealt with his fair share of gold diggers so.

i mean this is fooking stupid and i hope it doesnt COST HIM the election just because WOMEN will be so butthurt. and women shouldnt even be able to vote hehehehehe. but people have short memories too.

even the circle wagons album does not sound BAD. it is quite rocking as a matter of fact.

lesson: even the “worst” darkthrone albums are pretty good.

i would have preffered that he make super racist comments about mudslims or blacks or especially joos. that would be SWEET. BUT, that definitely would have killed his chances 100%, and that would NOT be good.

i like that he didnt apologize THAT much. hes not begging for forgiveness, and kinda saying this is not a big deal. cuz its really not. but i really dont know how real women will take it. i know that msnbc is up in arms hahahaha.

why not criticize the hollywood host billy bush for being an enthusiastic participant in the conversation.

QUOTE

It’s foolish to take the Blackpill with regards to women. It makes you settle for low quality sluts and degenerates. Do you want them to be the mother of your children?

I was in a bad place in 2011. I was dating a used-up slut whom I had nothing in common with. I was struggling to finish school and leave the comfy world of NEETdom. I had gotten into reading ‘The Red Pill’ and that middle eastern rapist Roosh, and my opinion of women was extremely low. Thus, my expectations from women were low.

This girl was a degenerate waste. She was pretty enough, but was a complete slob, and nearing the end of her 20s. I knew she had dated around, but the extent of the rot was what really got to me. The day I left her was when I attended a ‘party’ with some of her friends, only to discover she had f00cked literally 8 of the men at the party. Her total number was somewhere around 35ish men. One of which included a ni99er. Disgusting. I drove off, deleted her from Facebook and Skype, and washed my hands of her.

I was lucky to get out of that mess with no STIs. I pulled myself out of this depression and blackpill by lifting and travelling, and completely tossed out the ReturnOfKangz/rOOSH shit. Some of the techniques are useful, and yes, 90% of women are somewhere on the whore spectrum, but 10% of girls is still a HUGE amount of people.

On one of my trips, after a year of lifting and healthy eating, I met a complete QT3.14, 10/10. She was introverted, shy, but extremely moral. She was 6 years younger than me, intelligent, had a similar genetic background, and was a fucking virgin.

Married her 2 years into the relationship and it has only gotten better.

Lift, have confidence in your self, resist the blackpill, and you will find extremely high quality women waiting for you to wife them. Let the f4ggot numales clean up the algae of used up whores. WILL TO POWER BRAH

END

i am risking getting banned for posting private forum material here, but uhhhh i wont say what forum i got it from, nor who said it, but i am trying to share an awesome WHITE PILL here: a neetish man was dating a dirty slut, then he turned his life around and married a nice virgin waifu. GOOD FOR HIM. this is EXACTLY the stuff I need to read a LOT more of…..but i’m not finding a lot of it. not enough.

nyquil and coffee combination hehehe. again went way over calorie limit. soooooo easy to eat over 1200 cals.

yeah why shouldnt i link this already.

this and TH are muh fav DT albums. and this one is more “fun.” not sure why the vocals are considered controversial. i think they are great although perhaps mixed a little loudly. the riffs, songwriting, and production are all top of the line, and there is a ton of nostalgia with this album, as it was a big part of muh adolescence at age 18 or so. this is a pretty kewl album to have as your theme music at age 18 hahahahahahahaha.

“quintessence”, come on. probably the darkthrone stairway to heaven right there.

but yeah. a lot of people are interested in things they dont really participate in. politics, professional sports, tv shows, religion. but no one is interested in “relationships” as like a main interest they way I am, apart from WOMEN who are always GOSSIPING. I truly do like to gossip, but I like even more to study and understand the relationships.

its like watching from the sidelines and commenting but never participating. but thats the thing: is that normies DO participate, quite regularly, and dont really comment on it at the same level as I do, just gossip, say whos fooking who, whos dumping who.

and even people who are obsessed with sportsball and watch pro sportsball but are too fat and soft to actually play pro sportsball still often play amateur sportsball or fantasy sportsball.

i dont play Fantasy Relships, although maybe in a way I do: by having these one sided things where I have the relship all in my mind and it does not reflect reality at all.

nyquil makes me unable to think clearly and articulate and be persuasive. still i wish i just had some MJ, i would LUV to smoke a bunch of MJ on a friday night like this and listen to DARKTHRONE.

“the hordes of nebulah”. i used to think this song wasnt as good as the 2 before it, now i see i was wrong hahahahaha. truly a MAGIC album and i wouldnt EXPECT darkthrone to ever capture this kind of lightning in a bottle quite the same way ever again. you cant. again a large part of this was my own age at the time. but this is gonna be one of those albums that i enjoy thru my entire life hahaha. share with muh waifu and children and they will say damn what a badass!

anyway it is just “funny” and mostly sad that i spend all this time and energy and interest thinking about and analyzing Relationships, general and particular, myself and my fantasy rels, others and my perceptions of their real rels, and i think i have the tools and skills and knowledge to be real mature and good in a rel…..but my weakness is the BEGINNING. I cant get it STARTED for various reasons. cant spark the kindling and get the fire going ever.

large part of that is because i am scared to “apply”. at least with jobs i am putting out 450 applications, doing 23 interviews. if i were doing that with WOMEN, i WOULD have been in a real rel by now, or at least had a near normie level of secsual satisfaction. or, hopefully, i would say THIS IS DEGENERATE, I’m not gonna do this unless its in a real rel with a decent woman, fook this banging sluts shit, leave it to the degenerate hedonist nihilist abortionists.

fenriz did recycle the classic “quintessence” riff on his storm “nordavind” album which was recorded in late 1994 while panzerfaust was recorded in early 1994 hehehe.

they got the qt gurl kari rueslatten to sing on the album (from 3rd and the mortal, really need to dig into them more) and supposedly she was very upset and felt betrayed by fenriz because he changed a lyric at the last minute to say something like “death to every man who does not hail the fatherland!” which she felt was ebil racist. and i bet fenriz is not a racist. shit i wish he WAS. he SHOULD be. and poor kari felt horrible guilt after that and betrayed by ebil fenriz. hahahahaha i wonder if he fooked her. the dirty slut hahaha. see this ALL comes from the root cause of my degen pornographic view of women as sluts to be fooked. this is from watching way too much pron, so shame on me. but also shame on women for willingly BEING like that. they dont have to BE sluts, even if the girls in porno are.

and because kari was a beautiful young norwegian gurl with beautiful long hair, i dont WANT her to be a slut.

i want to read more stories of women who are DIVORCING or DUMPING their men because oh god hes a TRUMP SUPPORTER. but r/relships does not allow overtly political topics.

i would think being married and especially with children makes women less leftist catladylike. so they will say oh yeah trump is crude but oh well hes still better than hillary so im still voting for him.

whereas its the C carousel sluts and catladies who will be most offended, and they werent voting for trump ANYWAY.

in other words, its not gonna lose him any votes. its not gonna make anyone who has already chosen trump, say, oh NOW he’s gone too far, and i am changing my vote to HILLARY? i cant imagine him honestly doing any of that. even if he said GTKRWN 1488, which i would luv, people would still say, yeah im still not voting for hillary.

however it will make the hillary people all the more SHRILL and ANNOYING and that might push undecideds towards trump.

undecideds tho? and couldnt this push undecideds to hillary? sure.

BUT HOW MANY UNDECIDEDS ARE THERE REALLY?????

not very many imho. i play it down because i hang out with people who would be MORTIFIED that they have even ONE trump supporter in their friend circle. so i say stuff, ah well, its a classic lesser of two evils thing, i dont really like either of them, but im really dont like hillary, yes i agree with you trump is not super presidential but im a moderate centrist and hillary is just too left for me, so, i have to vote for trump. that kind of waffling shit. actually i wouldnt even confirm i was voting for trump unless i was with some trump voters. thankfully i know a few.

7000 words? damn.

but yeah its funny. i analyze and think about rels like An Interest Or Hobby but never actually participate, when most NORMIES DO participate and dont analyze them to the same level, its just a normal part of normal life, dont overthink it, its not something interesting like football or tv hahahaha.

well to me it is!!!!!!!!

and women arent much better than men. they gossip a lot more about rels but are even WORSE at analysing, understanding, and workign with them. men could at least have a good chance at reasoning their way through them if they tried.

but you cant REASON with women. its like REASONING with a drunk 50 foot baby with a flamethrower. REASONING with a damn tasmanian devil. you cant reason somebody out of something that they didnt reason themselves into, hahahahaha.

MEN HAVE VERY HIGH COMPETENCE WITH LOW EXPERIENCE, WOMEN HAVE NO COMPETENCE WITH VERY HIGH EXPERIENCE

oct 2

ok used this thing called coinpatrol to set up a bitcoin email alert to send me an email when the price drops more than 4% in one day. then i know I should think about buying hehehehehe. surprised coinbase doesnt have this. why not? prob because it costs money to develop and implement hehehehe. cuts into their profits goy.

so how come coinpatrol can do it? i guarantee they have WAY less money than coinbase.

explain this to a caller right now! you’re the expert!

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/593201-girlfriend-dumped-me-unexpectedly-fight-her-give-up

got to stay away from reddit. just go to loveshack instead. i dont even know. loveshack COULD be worse. but at this point its better to take the devil you DONT know hahaha.

ok did 1 app of the day at stupid gay hospital that alwasy rejects me and is unprofessional as fook HR dept. because i can do these apps in 4 minutes and not 14 and didnt want to think at all cuz its sunday hahahaha.

also i didnt understand she was Checking Out Permanently from the Rel. I thought we were just going through a rough patch but that she just wasnt in the process of moving out. i wish she had TOLD ME hey just fyi, im moving out permanently right now. just so you know. no we ARENT gonna talk about this. im getting out as we speak.

because that is not whats implied by “i miss you too, of course well hang out soon”

hehehehe.

and i was too desperate and blind to read the nonverbal signs. but how about giving some verbal signs too, like, yeah, things arent looking real good for this, i dont think i can do this anymore, lets end this hahahaha.

they say not to be a perfectionist…..but you kinda HAVE to be! well, if not 100% perfect, then youhave to be #1 out of all the competitors. not #2. #1. the best. you have to be The #1 Best option among the options for the job, for the woman.

you can be GOOD, you can be CLOSE, but if you’re not #1, then the end result is 100% rejection, same as the retarded mongoloid at the bottom of the heap. private pyle.

and people say dont be a perfectionist…..but you HAVE to be to be successful in life. and then when you see people who are moderately successful in life (like that woman) who are not that impressive. im smarter and better than her!!!!! she’s perfectly average, even a little below average!

but im also not as smart as i think i am.

and then on bad days i think i am really stupid, and i am not really THAT stupid either.

well if she and other normies can be perfectly average and still be moderately successful, then I am probably average too, then why arent i moderately successful? because I’m not THE BEST? THEYRE not the best either!!!!!! they are just AVERAGE!!!!!

you shouldnt be able to be moderately successful if you are Just Average! You should have to be THE BEST in order to be moderately successful!!!!

for someone who naturally asks WHY? WHY? to be able to move on without why, to accept that why doesnt matter, is frustrating. whether its a woman dumping you in a harsh way, or somethign at your job that you SHOULD be able to explain, but cant, and even your employer doesnt care why, because to find out why would cost too much, for too little reward. why? i dont beleive it. show me those calculations.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/597008-dealing-regrets

sheeeeeit. i think the biggest dealbreaker for me is not mudsharking, not even abortions, but just being a damn high number slut.

well, i have been willing to date high number sluts though, as long as they were qt and young. actually having children would probably be the dealbreaker. i have never been INterested in a woman who had children.

but I HAVE been willing to Date women who:

  1. were high number sluts
  2. had mudsharked
  3. had had abortions

so…..SEE!!! I AM WILLING TO COMPROMISE AND LOWER MUH STANDARDS!!!!!!!

now i never was interested in a woman who was ALL THREE. well…..i just dont know do I? its a lot harder to prove they have mudsharked or had abortions than to prove they are a slut. women will openly admit to being with a lot of guys, but arent as willing to admit theyve been with muds, or had abortions. you gotta be man enough to ask them.

ht     tps://heartiste.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/the-wages-of-sluttery/

i think heartiste might have officially come out as a 1488 WN. i hope he does. i mean he’s definitely sympathetic.

women have lots of male friends. men do not have many women friends. WOMEN do not have many women friends. therefore, we can concluded that women are shittier friends/people than men. Corrollary: women only have all these men friends because the men have ulterior motives hahahaha. want to fook them. no this doesnt mean all the men are dishonest NiceGuys. it just means they are desparate, sad, and lonely, desparate for female contact because they don’t have any.

jeez there is such drama going on at damn TRS, people getting banned left and right, infighting o rama, so stupid, a guy i really like was banned, and i dont agree with the banning, but if i complain about it, i will get banned, because its a fascist forum. because we are pro fascist. so what happens when the fascist admins ban people you like. you just keep silent and fall in line? it just seems all so fookin stupid. i dont dislike the guy who banned him, im just disappointed he went ahead and did that. i like both guys. banning should be for true enemies, traitors, subverters. and the guy who got banned was none of that. he just refused to stop talking to some people who had ruffled the higher ups feathers. damn.

also some cliquish bullshit that implies that TRS is softer on phaggotry than they should be. and i think there has been some hot heads and overreactions and misunderstanding, and good people get mad and ban other good people, and it leaves you with a sour taste.

so i hope they unban this one guy in particular.

its not enough to make me stop supporting TRS…..but if they keep doing stuff like this, that is not a good way to be.

theres just several cliques, a schism developing, a pro gay and an anti gay side. so fookin stupid. kinda related to how common filth fell out with the TRS people. now its a similar thing with natt and IM. ie, they are all on the CF side (very anti gay) who say that TRS is a pro gay side because they like MW and “Grindr Greggy” and richard spencer.  dont have a strong opinion on spencer, but I do like MW and GJ, but I also like florian who just got banned from TRS, but I think CF is too blackpill, I kinda like natt, i dunno, this drama is so retarded.

for what its worth, i dont think florian is a major instigator, possibly CF and slavros are. and natt.

this sorta shit has gone on forever with Political Movements. But I like florian and this is pretty disappointing, i really dont think he should have been banned. maybe he will be unbanned. people have been unbanned before.

in the final analysis i would end up on the pro-phag side because i am that big on supporting MW. i feel a Great Connection and Intimacy with him hahahahahaha because he was a despairing neet like me who threw his youth away and had many years of failure and no normies can understand that, and many alt righters are normie chads in that respect and dont understand it.

they will ALWAYS condemn MW because of his past, nothing he says or does now will ever be good enough for these Purity SPiralers hehehe. then they in turn say anyone who uses the term PUrity Spiral is a Phag Enabler. so thats me i guess. a phag enabler. a degen sodomite.

i just dont think its a huge problem, and i will even tolerate repentant gays. i think the muchhhhhhh bigger problem is degenerate slut WOMEN. and again, hate the sin not the sinner here. but i GUARANTEE that pound for pound, female promiscuity and casual sex is 1488000000000000000000000000 times a bigger problem than gay sex. like 1 out of 50 men is gay. 25 out of 50 women are sluts. COME ON. and im just talking about white men and women here.

anyway it sounds like iron march is attacking TRS more than TRS is attacking IM, which is not at all, TRS is just ignoring IM and banning IM sympathizers. and i guess the trs admins decided florian was too much of an IM sympathizer. doesnt mean im still not disappointed! I really liked florian! I hope florian is unbanned! I will still follow florian!

well the admin made an effortpost describing the situation so i appreciate that. im not asking for IM or natt to be unbanned. i just think florian got a bit of a raw deal.

BASICALLY, people like natt, common filth, and slavros of IM are pretty much anti-TRS and denounce TRS as phag-enablers, because TRS is friendly with spencer, greggy, and MW. those 3 guys go on twitter and talk shit about TRS. therefore, i can understand why TRS would not want these people on podcasts promoted on the TRS site.

I would still give florian the benefit of the doubt though. maybe just give him a tempban, or not advertise the episodes that had natt on. florian has the right to talk to whoever he wants, and TRS has the right not to promote those episodes. and natt and cf are overreacting by saying TRS is phag enabling. I read “grindr greggy” for years before TRS even existed. and I am pretty damn defensive of MW. I REALLY do not like people dissing MW. ive never heard florian dissing TRS or MW, thats all Im saying.

anyway. i was gonna say, women have WAY more experience than men being in relships, long term relships, being with several guys for a year, 2 years apiece……yet they are still INCOMPETENT AF, ESPECIALLY given all the EXPERIENCE and TIME they had. HIGH EXPERIENCE, VERY LOW COMPETENCE. in terms of learning lessons, becoming mature, getting good at skills like communication, problem resolution, compromise, communication, etc.

meanwhile, men have much less experience, AND much much MORE Competence! I have learned lessons and skills that women who have spent 5, 10 years of their lives In Rels have Not Yet learned……and Ive spent 0 minutes In A Rel! The Shit I’ve learned just from One sided pining, and friendships, and reading, and being rejected, and aborted pseudo-dating, i’ve learned more than most women learn from 5,6,7 solid YEARS of being IN a REAL rel!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!

That woman was in a rel for 5 years with a guy, lived with him for years, spend 1000000s of hours having secs and being intimate with him, people saying i luv u to each other and seeing each other every day, and i have experienced NONE of that, yet I am STILL more Competent and Skilled and Mature and Knowledgeable than a Woman who has LIVED that LIFE for YEARS!!!!!! What does that tell you about womens AWARENESS and Maturity and Intelligence and Ways of Thinking???!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

I am not just talking about her, but women in general.

well……i am just making assumptions again! maybe she DID KNOW a lot of shit, it was just a matter of COURAGE. she didnt have the COURAGE to do the right thing, so she just AVOIDED it. doesnt mean she DIDNT KNOW any better. she KNEW better, just didnt have the COURAGE to follow through with it.

who cares it was SIXTEEN MONTHS AGO.

but i said it would take TWO SOLID YEARS to get over.

just wish I had some MJ to help me get through those two long years tho!!!!!!

and also a damn job that I could work without panicking and freaking out and having damn terrified RUN AWAY flight or flight reaction!!!!!

sheeeeeeeeit.

oct 3

sheeeeeeit. trying to prep for phone interview tomorrow. glassdoor suggests that the job could pay close to 40k or 42k. 20 to 21 an hour. when i am only looking for 12 an hour. so now I gotta up THAT to look like im not desperate and below their league. well then WHY did their highly qualified HR wimmin with a masters degree pick ME for the phone interview?

also wish i had more exact stories from my old job. i copied some old cases but i neglected to copy my BEST cases.

so thats a regret. whenever i had a big problem or a ridiculous case at work, i should have wrote down as many details as i could, really just copied the whole case itself, and then spun it like what could i do to really save the day here, even if i didnt, and then tell that detailed, heroic, epic story in future interviews. but none of the cases i copied out of there were really THAT great.

its funny. even in my hardest college classes, i never felt like “this is too hard for me, i cant handle this. this is too complicated. im too dumb for this.” because i knew that somewhere out there, there was an answer to the problems, even if the teacher sucked and the book sucked, and if the problem sucked too much, you just gave it your best shot, got 1%, and didnt really care, cuz no one was gonna really BITCH at you about it, AND later you would probably be corrected and learn how to do the problem anyway. you were given readings and problems and lectures on HOW to do the shit. you knew about exams and deadlines from the beginning of the term. sometimes your instructor even HELPED you prepare for exams, like here’s what you really need to know, focus on this, not so much that, let’s take some questions and make sure we understand so and so.

and you NEVER had to explain anything to some bitch who was bitching you out for being an incompetent idiot who was bad at your job. it wasnt such a big deal to get stuff wrong.

your “team” and managers didnt resent you for making mistakes, your “customers” didnt resent you for making mistakes. you didnt really have a team. you didnt have customers. you just had an instructor who was like, welp you got this question wrong, its not the end of the world, and I will help you get your grade up if you are willing to put in the work. im not gonna BITCH at you for getting it wrong. I sorta want to help you understand these concepts better.

our stupid job was the type of job that REALLY made you want to DRINK. like oh god i cant believe i survived that day, OH GOD, I need a STRONG drink RIGHT NOW. and then you would CHUG some whiskey or scotch or vodka equal to at LEAST 1.5 or 2 shots worth, just chug it straight from the bottle. and THEN you would be like wewlad, ok, welp i HAD to a serious SHOT, now I will have a serious DRINK to unwind. then you pour a sipping drink equal to at least 2 or 3 shots. basically a minimum of 5 drinks to unwind from EVERY day.

5 drinks every workday will eventually turn you into an alcoholic and also the hangovers will become a problem. for work.

also, if you NEED 5 drinks, youre not gonna stop at 5. you will say shit, might as well have another. and another. the 5 really easily turns into 10. then youre shitfaced drunk and have to work the next day.

note: i never did any of this. and thats kind of a miracle. i mean i could see drinking honestly HELPING you in this situation.

i am surprised more people didnt drink ON the job. probably because you were in close quarters and could probably smell it.

but yeah every day i went in there, it felt like an Exam I Couldnt Handle, that I wasnt prepared for. Sure I generally got SOME test anxiety whenever i had a college test……but the shit i faced every day at the job was WORSE, because i never felt prepared, AND I had to talk to people who were bitching about their problems and thought I had the knowledge and skills to fix them…..when i actually knew just as much or less than they did.

oct 2 received millennial woes tshirt. not bad woesy. manlet woes lad hahahahaha.

well you know why people arent interested in their race being genocided, because they are too busy working 60 hours a week and then worrying about their job all other waking hours of the week. they simply dont have time to think about their race being genocided because all they can think or do is work. and beleive me theyre not happy about it! they wish they could think about anything else! when i was into the full swing of working, i could not follow news or racial stuff at all! i wanted to, but i was just too exhausted! I was so focused on day to day survival that i could not even THINK about what is happening to the white race!

i mean i CARED sure, but i cared more about how the hell i was going to survive the firing squad every day, the 10 hour Dissertation Defense where you hadnt spent 5 years researching and writing and thinking about your dissertation, your were basically plopped down to defend someone elses shitty dissertation in a field you knew nothing about.

if you had a 12 week boot camp like you do for boot camp, they would probably teach you some Fallback Training so that when you got weird shit, you could just Fall Back On Your Training and go through the motions and fake it till you make it.

but when you have shitty training, you just sit there and go uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like a deer in headlights and say i got nothing. i really have no idea. and youre stuck with me here. my higher ups dont have time to talk to you. youre stuck with me and i dont know what im doing, so bear with me because this IS gonna take a while. you would LITERALLY have just as good a chance trying to fix this yourself by looking at some chinese manual. because thats what im doing. and tyring to figure out what this goddam chinese manual is saying. and your guess is as good as mine.

like going to your doctor and he asks YOU for advice in treating YOUR problem. pretty ass backwards uh?

so yeah a VERY stiff drink is warranted at the end of the day. and if you cant drink, then a bigass spliff or bowl so you can get blazed as fook. i couldnt drink, and honestly getting blazed as fook was better than doing nothing.

my choices were get blazed, take valium, exercise, study shit to try to get a sense of control, go to bed early, and i tried a combination of all of those.

the best was: getting really blazed, then study cases for an hour or 90 minutes, then maybe exercise, then gt blazed some more, then go to bed early.

but yeah i wish there was a book or a mentor who could help you thru the early phases. like goddamn TRAINING WHEELS. and then you take off the training wheels when youre READY, or at least 75% CLOSE to being ready!

oh xfinity comcast i hate you kieran from comcast. not just that they give bad service and are joos, but that they have the AUDACITY to think THIS COMMERCIAL proves that they are improving their service. they put this stuff right out there are WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN CHANGED YOUR WIFI PASSWORD? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN TWEET TO A SERVICE REP? IMPRESSED THAT YOU CAN SCHEDULE A CALL?????? NO!!!!!!!! NO ON ALL COUNTS!!!!!!!!

as far as customer service goes……learn a lesson from the companies that do it GOOD. (well). Companies that are rated by their customers as having great customer service. and then do what they do. all i know is that zappos and nordstrom have a REPUTATION for good customer service. maybe marriott or hilton too. do what they do.

its hard to think straight when youre panicking because youve never seen this before AND you have no idea how to fix it.

HOW CAN YOU FIX SOMETHING YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF??????

While this situation fills me with panic and dread, the idea Tech Person is EXCITED about the CHALLENGE. they LIKE Bullshitting their ways out of these RIDICULOUS situations.

woman is “ghosted” by man. just like finding/reading “ghosting” stories. this was worse because they were officially dating for 1.5 years. and she still handled it better than i did hahahaha.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much

i probably linked this article again but it came up in that reddit

also there are no damn MEN talking about how theyve been ghosted by WOMEN so all these horrible reddit women are saying, “hmm this sounds like a male thing to do”

but yeah fact is reddit is just more interesting and easier to browse and read than loveshack.

heh. if you get put on the state medical mj list……do cops see that whenever they scan your license when you get pulled over? how much work needs to be done for LE to see if you are on that list? would it come up in a regular background check? what about a more serious background check? how many kinds of background checks are there? is the background check to get a sweet 40k a year job in a Good Company more or less stringent than the background check to get in the FBI? or a secret govt clearance? or get a job as a Copper?

heh there was a Creepy Clown sighting a few miles from my house. this has started to become a Real Life Meme in 2016 (actually I remember it earlier, but it seems to be Spiking again in Oct 2016 and imagine halloween has something to do with it) Just a Creepy Clown standing in a parking lot at 2 am waving at cars.

not too far from my house, and really close to HER house. I admit I read the news article sort of wishing to see HER commenting on it. damn. PATHETIC.

some people get the proper perspective, and when the person who GHOSTS them comes crawling back 6, 12, 15 months later, the ghostee says FOOK YOU ASSHOLE, FOOK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT, which is the appropriate thing to say. her, i would take her back no question and be like i forgive you baby, i can understand why you did this, you were just scared, its ok baby i forgive you.

 

wow. IT TAKES A WHILE FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GET COMFROTABLE WITH SECS, YA DUMB, DIRTY WHORE!!!!!!

and ex boifran WHO IS ALSO HER BEST FRIEND

OH COME ON

PATHETIC.

ABSOLUTELY DEGENERATE.

well its more complicated, this case is, basically she is dumping him because shes still in luv wth her ex, not because he was awkward the one and only time they had secs. so really, nothing too interesting here.

i just hate how women have NO PROBLEM having secs quickly. dont they get NERVOUS? even if it werent degenerate, i would get NERVOUS! i dont KNOW this person! now im showing them my naked body and rubbing our genitalia together? and women have all these goddamn BODY ISSUES ANYWAY!!! and theyre NOT NERVOUS letting STRANGERS fook their naked body??!?!?!?! and they always  forget that women can get pregnant? WTF??!?!?!?!?!!!

you cant touch a womans stomach without them freaking out, but you can know them for less than 2 hours and stick your diseased dick up her cvnt uncovered and take videos and pictures of it. un fookin believable. wearing fooking sleeveless shit to show off their fat arms. yet if you touch their stomach, you get dumped. what idiots.

you get dumped if you dont compliment them the right way. if you compliment them the WRONG way, you get dumped.

yet they let tyrone and achmed spray in their cvnt unprotected.

stop TRYING to make sense of it. even though they dont KNOW its all about reproduction, its STILL all about reproduction, and they choose to have casual sex with the strongest strongman they can find in the short term. doesnt matter if hes the bad type of strong. it only matters that his strength is obvious and blatant and easy to see.

they arent designed to choose a good man for the long term. thats their FATHERS job.

maybe i am going off the deep end here. maybe women CAN make good decisions SOMETIMES. and maybe they CAN have courage and do the right thing SOMETIMES. like for example, ST ANN COULTER. She makes good decisions (except about who she fooks)

and believe me, i could put up with the worthlessness of women a lot better if i just had a nice 12 dollar an hour job and could hold my head up high with that knowledge. just need a JOB and some MJ, the WOMAN is secondary.

well, its also kind of our DUTY as white men to make more white children.

and i guess i could do that with white skanks, but i need to have enough money to take care of my white children. and basically i don’t want to be a white person using a NONWHITE REPRODUCTIVE STRATEGY. it does not BECOME white people to have HAREMS like goddam ARABS or BLACKS.  but we do need to be more dominant and stronger than arabs or blacks, so our women dont leave us for them. because we cant expect our women to have any race loyalty.

BUT if we can train our women…..couldnt we TRAIN them to the point where yes we CAN have some expectations of them? like train a woman to be racist. well, i believe you can train a woman to be racist, you can train a woman to be trustworthy, but you still cant train a woman to make good decisions or be super responsible.

so how do they have these high powered careers?

i mean there are women engineers and shit. you have to have at LEAST a 105 iq for that, even the women. i trust engineers to be smart and make smart decisions. so what about the female engineers? yeah they arent as smart as the male engineers, and yeah they are getting bonus affirmative action points, but i would say they STILL have to have at least 105 iq and be SORTA smart!!!!!

 

NOICE

really r/relships would be easily fixed by just getting MOAR MEN in there. its a god damn estrogen clusterfook which is really ANNOYING.

i just hate how they leave men in horrible ways. every damn woman should take a dumping 101 course. from her father hahahaha. view the end of the relationship as PART of the relship. learn to ACCEPT some RESPONSIBILITIES. show some GOODWILL when you break a poor guys heart. LET him be upset. tell im its NOT HIS FAULT. Respect that you are breaking someones heart. Tell him that no contact would be best. dont say lets be friends. he just wants to be WITH you. Respect the fact that you are PULLING THE RUG OUT on a person. Apologize. Feel BAD about what you’re doing. These are the responsibilities that go along with your RIGHT to end the rel whenever you want, single-handedly. it doesnt come for FREE.

ok. 44 minutes till they call me. sheeeeeit. i havent done anything interviewy for a MONTH. like 34 days.

yeah ive done a .5 “interview” 90 minute written test but no actual talking to people. i HATE talking to people. starting to get nervous.

i mean the worse that can happen is that i spill the spaghetti and sound like a retarded negro. then they just dont call me back. which is essentially the same result as all my other interviews. where i did NOT sounded like a retarded negro, but sounded pretty much like a damn NORMIE!!!!!! sheeeeeeit i COULD have soudned like a retarded autist and it wouldnt have made any difference!!!!!

but yeah i guess its GOOD to get nervous but i still dont like it because i AM being judged and i have to perform. and its a lot different than sitting there at a written test where you have 90mins to 2 hours to really sit there face to face with the test. the test is not judging you, and even the teacher doesnt REALLY judge you if you do bad. actually he wants you to do well, and will PROBABLY make some effort to help you if you put in some effort and ask him. not at all the same thing here. these people are putting you under the microscope looking for any reason to exclude you based on your verbal answers to questions. and the odds are stacked against you 10 to 1 going in. whereas when taking a skool exam, you have a PRETTY good chance of PASSING it!

with job interviews, you have an ALMOST CERTAIN chance of FAILING it!

BIG DIFFERENCE!

22 minutes. come on. 21. welp. i mean i can learn to use a mainframe. i can “learn” to do anything, meaning I can make a flailing, incompetent attempt at doing things, and then say yeah i did it. oh i did it wrong? i thought I was doing it right. whats the right way then? so sorry. I will stay an hour late today and give you a free hour of work to make up for my stupid mistake. so sorry master. and then go home and get drunk and beat my wife and kids hahahaha. that i dont have because women always dump me before i can beat them or impregnate them hahahaha.

BEATING THEM MAKES THEM STAY hahahaha.

18 minutes. sheeeeeit. sometimes when you get nervous you want to Beat Off just to relieve tension even though you are not really Horny Per Se, you’re afraid and anxious and nervous.

11 minutes. feel like an inferior failure hehehehe. real good attitude. looked briefly at linkedin and thought oh these fookin people. getting masters degrees and then getting careers that are in line with that. i just dont understand these NORMIES at all!

i guess this is the benefit of an in person interview, is that right now i would be there, in the suit, announcing my presence, focusing like a boss on the stuff. right now i am just freaking out and dressed like a slob at home. and typing in here 9 minutes before the phone call!

2 hours later

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit that actually went pretty WELL, THANK GOD.

full 60 minutes budgeted by HR lady for Phone Call. impressive. I rambled a bit but was OK. because they said ok you are now invited to an actual interview with the tech manager on tuesday w00t w00t. with a damn pay near 40k and strong 401k matching and 15 days off and health care and MF days sched, etc etc a great bigboy job to get here. almost too good to be true. well ive have interviews with places like that before hehehe. the big 22nd interview.

and then while i was talking to them, voice mail from another place for an autism ABA job. called them back, got The Big 23rd interview. for this friday. now that is just a part time thing but they emphasized an in depth ABA training pogam for the tism. i should tell them i am The Tism Tickler and deal with Autist Sperg Virgin Neets on the internet erryday hahahaahahahahaha

really the job will probably be me wiping “autistic” negro chirrens asses hahahahaha with great struggling. they just wont bend over nicely and let me wipe their asses, they are gonna be running around getting shit all over the place including my face hahahahaha.

well tech that will be the 22nd interview? anyway my real goal is 25 interviews and i am very close now. 452 apps, 23 interviews.

and a damn interview tomorrow for fire extinguisher inspector hahahaha.

well the big thing is this “systems specialist” job with the mainframes. that is the new #1. nice to get these GOOD ones once in a while, although it is more disappointing not to get them. but its somewhat good for the confidence to know that i am IN THE RUNNING for actual good jobs with actual good companies.  the HR wimmin was impressed that i did 2 minutes of research on the company.

DO THIS. THEY REALLY DO LIKE IT.

I mean, I do it all the time. they LIKE it but they still dont HIRE me hahaha.

and i had a YUGE dream with THAT WOMAN last night. as in she was in it a lot, i was talking to her a lot. we were basically living in a dorm together, with at least 6 people living in a kinda big dorm room or mini barracks. she was my roomate. i was trying to talk to her and hang out with her and she was just being very very bitchy and showing no interest. this is normally not a big deal if shes a random woman. BUT SHES NOT A RANDOM WOMAN. and it is so painful to see someone who once cared about you and made time for you, TURN into an ice cold distant bitch. so that was the gist of the dream. as it is with most dreams i have about her. well i guess it is technically BETTER than nostalgically remembering the Nice version of her. and all i am left with is the Bitchy version of her.

super long post here huh. i didnt plan it this way i promise.

also did 14 pushups. did not do any job apps but fookit. had a 60 minute phone interview (counted as .5 an interview lasting 100 minutes for 60 min interview plus 40 mins prep), got TWO invites for actual in person full blown interviews, and also did prep work for fire protection interview tomorrow and printed the shit out. i feel i was prductive enough hehehe.

also did laundry. and just did 3.2 mile powerwalk.

so yeah finally felt a shred of confidence, which i only get after i have an interview for a decent job and i feel i did ok. so i feel confident for like 1 hour a month hhahahahahaha. its kind like how you feel like a BOSS after you bang a hot bitch hahahahahahaha. no, i mean “attractive woman.”

or for that matter, after you cuddle with some Boo or Bae that you Like Like and they give you warm fuzzies.

but yeah i felt last night before i had that stupid dream, i read a pretty good thread on TRS forum on women, and im not gonna paste it here, because that is officially grounds for BANNING hehe. but they were like yeah women are FOOKED but you gotta still do your duty white man. dont worry about finding a red pilled wife, just find a simple semi-conservative normie nonslut, and you can train her. have a strong hand.

and then i thought, shit, i was not strong at all. and if i had been really strong and played my cards right……i bet i probably could have made her TINGLE for me and get interested in me. if i had just had a strong hand. she wouldnt have lost all respect for me, and we would have lived happily ever after. fooked that ass 6000000 times, spent 1488000000 hours cuddling, and had a ton of white babies.  if i had only been strong. women feel totally differently about a strong dominating man, than they do about a weak pussy man. and i was totally a weak pussy.

so that makes me think, really it WAS all my fault, because if I had acted differently, I could have Got The Girl. it wasnt that She Decided we wouldnt be Compatible. if i were a stronger man, she would have decided we were (((COMPATIBLE))). sheeeeeeit.

so i hate That kind of guilt.

well i wont make that mistake again in the future hopefully.

but i may never luv a woman again. and the trs thread basically said, get used to the idea that you as a truly strong red pilled man, are never going to really LOVE a woman ever again.

 

 

DONT TOUCH A D1CK UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO COMMIT TO IT FOR TWO YEARS

july 17

924 people in 2 days. applying to an entry level 13 DAH job.

horry sheet.

i will never cease to be amazed by this. maybe they will pull it on Monday after their HR Department (ie one woman admin asst) gets back in on monday. just so they could collect 1000 applications over the weekend hahaha.

so why dont job postings list even a Low Salary Range?

Does this have the OPPOSITE effect as I think? that every tyrone and jose making 8 bucks an hour will see ooh this job pays 100k, better apply to it?

my mindset is of course the opposite: oh, no way am i qualified for this, i wont even apply. i wont apply to this 40k job, but i WILL apply to this 30k job.  maybe apply to this 35k job.

DEFINITELY apply to this 28k job.

see what I mean?

but do average people just not work like that? i dont know.

i mean the 13 dollar figure didnt keep 900 people from applying! PEOPLE ARE DESPERATE FOR 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR!

I figure thats the point: you put in ANY salary, and you will get DUMPED on with 100000000 applicants.

put no salary, you will only get the “SERIOUS” candidates hahaha. smaller pile of resumes to sift through.

therefore, 70% of postings have no salary.

i want to hear j read playing something a bit more “song oriented” than revenge. here is the ridic project he did with the singer from primordial, who has a great voice, although im not sure the two styles mix all that well.

yes j read sounds very beastly hahahaha. heck of a guy.

i thought mannequin was spelled mannequin, not manikin. wtf. why dont i call myself and ask them/me which one is correct.

now that my average job apply time is like 12 minutes, which is better than expected, i want to improve my Newly Created Jobs Per DAY metric, to at least Three Per Day. counting Weekends.  so, 21 applications per WEEK. that isnt so bad is it????

right now I am close to 3 but not quite there. like 2.8, 2.9. how am I not at 3?

because i take days off because they are no great jobs left to apply to, or i am running around getting a god damn new suit tailored hahahaha.

2 vs 3, its 60 jobs vs 90 a month.

no one ever told me in high school or Topkek Univeristy that there would be 1000 applicants for a 13 dollar an hour job! my fam never told me! they didnt know! they would be AMAZED! I am amazed! shit.

well maybe not all jobs are that bad competition wise. I know that for a fact, because some jobs have been open for 5 days and only have 50 applicants. the job descriptions are a lot shittier though, OR the jobs are nowhere near entry level.

its like its a BIG SECRET how to get an Enty LEvel job hahaha. and nobody REALLY knows how, and the ones who DO know how, keep it a tightly guarded secret and make bullshit lies and statistics and say go to college in this or that.

maybe ALL entry level jobs go through recruiters and never get to indeed. but dont the recruiters put them on indeed? maybe. sometimes. or they put the jobs on their own websites that may or may not get picked up by indeed. and I havent found a way to request that indeed “Crawl” a site it doesnt seem to be crawling.

you better make sense of everything because you gotta give a presentation to the president of the company in a few days and educate him on this, and convince him you know what youre talking about. even though you have no clue.

you can ask questions and look like an idiot…..but how do you know you’re even asking the RIGHT questions, because you dont know shit about shit. again, unknown unknowns. i wish they WERE known unknowns! but that would be too easy. only 8 dollar an hour ingras work with KNOWN unknowns.

NOBODY TOLD ME!!!!!

pick suit up from the arab today. hopefully. interview in 2 days.

july 18

ok got muh 3 applications done for the day and its not even noon yet hahahaha.

BAD! when I have the time, i am supposed to do MORE THAN 3 to compensate for the days I do LESS THAN 3!!!!!!

come on. reject me for “warehouse coordinator” and get the rejection email within 24 hours of applying? i applied to 3 jobs and was rejected by all 3 from the same latina HR woman hahahahaha. admin asst, warehouse coordinator, and machine prepper.  THANKS.  yes of course i used the 10 page packet. maybe the 10 page packet is TOO LONG hahahaha.

maybe my cover letter wasnt tailored enough.

i saw one posting today that said something like “send us a GOOD cover letter and we’ll talk.”

this is a work hard play hard sort of company. more like chained to your desk because people are afraid to take lunch. and “firm 40” means 50. and you work off the clock to appear more productive. and the only way to prove you’re not slacking is to be ABSOLUTELY SLAMMED every minute of every day.  and you want a GOOD cover letter? how bout my GOOD dik in yo mouf, inggra?

suck muh GOOD big dikk, bitch!

using aloe softsoap and now my hands smell kind of like they have been soaked in stale beer. pretty gross. not a good smell.

or that horrible smell when people drink beer all day on a hot day and start getting Beer BO. god damn degenerate drunks. how do THEY make 28k a year.

my nightmare is to get trapped by some disgusting 5 or 6 bar slut single mom that i bang just because im lonely and she lets me, and i want to use her as a practice gurl to someone better, but then she gets preggers with a poor bastard and i have to Do The Right Thing and marry the skank and raise the child hahahahaha.

i mean i AM VERYYYYYYY against abortion. Ideally I would say, give the child up for adoption, or I am getting a Financial Abortion hahahaha.

which is why its bad to bang women in the first place when you dont want to have a child with them! this IS the life creation process after all!

ok got muh blue suit from the arab tailor, it looks good, i think he made the hem too big though, or rather, just forgot to cut it. i mean you cant see it so it doesnt really matter. this is the part on the inside of the pant leg.

was in the mall for 5 minutes and saw tons of cute teen gurls. some with albanian or arab men.

women are natural born race traitors, they have no concept of race. MEN are the custodians of the race. women will just go for whatever race is STRONGER. the strong horse idea. cant blame them. its what they do hahahaha. and because whites are wimps and arabs are strong macho men, white women go for arab and other MACHO men.

dont get mad at women for being race traitors, they’re not SUPPOSED to be loyal to their race, they’re not SUPPOSED to be loyal to anything except a strong man, and once he stops being strong, she doesnt have to be loyal to him anymore!

i am kinda assmad about that part tho, because I prefer “do you promise to be faithful in good times AND BAD”

is it unreasonable to ask women to be faithful in bad times?

not if she’s agreeing to it! not if she’s getting a good husband out of the deal!

but what if its a bad husband?

in fatherland episode 35 johnny monoxide (guest) and jim talk a bit about Premarital Counseling and how it is a good idea. How sometimes you are so blinded you dont realize that you are Fundamentally Incompatible with someone cuz youve never TALKED about abortion or never TALKED about how you resolve conflict or etc etc. and the counselor brings up these big bombs to see if you can handle them. like that ridiculous movie with robin williams.

i agreed and thought it was a great idea.

so yeah i honestly….

is it reasonable or not to expect a woman to BE ABLE to be faithful to you? or is it asking too much, like asking the rabid pit bull to NOT attack everything in sight?

i’ve SEEN women be faithful with my own eyes. but they truly luv their men. often when they shoudlnt. usually these men are just stubborn as shit and they really dont give a damn about the woman AT ALL. so THATs what I need to do.

but that just sounds IMPOSSIBLE. Besides, I LIKE being able to truly luv a woman. i just want to luv and then be luved in return.

also, ok fine i will accept that women have no racial loyalty. but I will NOT let them get away with no responsibility or luv for their own children.

like saying, its ok for women to like abortion because women naturally like abortion, its who they are, they don’t really luv their children, so its ok for them to kill them.

NO. NEVER.

because rather than just breaking a persons heart or ruining a mans life….they are TAKING a persons life. A Bridge Too Far!!!!!!!!!

natural born race traitors, strong horse vs weak horse, wanting protection and security. ok that kinda makes sense. but murdering your own children NEVER makes sense.

i hate admin asst jobs that are like super high level. like assistant to THE DIRECTOR. to the PRESIDENT. the CEO. these are all essentially VP and executive level admin assistants. isnt there anything more ENTRY LEVEL hehehe.

i just dont like the idea that when you deal with a woman, you’re responsible for EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING is YOUR FAULT. no exceptions. she does something bad to you….its YOUR FAULT. she cheats on you, its YOUR FAULT. shes a bitch to you, its YOUR FAULT. she leaves you hanging, its YOUR FAULT.

but how is this NEW? Women have been doing this FOREVER!

And yeah its a big reason why i dont like them. they have no responsibility or ACCOUNTABILITY or ownership.

some alt right comment thread said that women dont have loyalty to their MEN, they have loyalty to their CHILDREN. they couldnt give a shit about their men. they don’t care about their race, they dont care if their hearts are broken, these men are not really people to them. the only people who matter to women are their children…….so when women kill their children what does that say?

did a fun new 3.8 mile walk hahahaha.

dunno. i just hate being left in the lurch. and then thinking its MY FAULT, because this is what women DO to weak men. and i was undeniably weak. oh god was i weak. so I brought this on myself. nothing about this is unexpected or unreasonable. this is just what women do with a weak man. they LEAVE YOU IN THE LURCH. and you cannot expect more. you’re wrong to expect more. because this is is what women DO to weak men.  PERIOD. ACCEPT IT.

but i don’t WANT to accept it!!!!! i want ot think they can do a LITTLE better!

for good times and bad!

but we werent MARRIED! she never made a public formal COMMITMENT to me!

well i feel she was a LITTLE committed to me, not like married, but i dunno. 3 year friendship implies commitment. entitled me to have her buck her horrible female nature — to make an exception for me, and not act like a damn WOMAN.

but yeah i like the idea of premarital counseling. just dont go to a jooish one who wants to promote white genocide and white divorce. i suspect they would push you into a shitty marriage, so you can get divorced, cuz whites getting divorced makes joos happy and richer. more counselors, more lawyers, etc.

how about a good christian white marriage counselor who wants to see the RIGHT people get married, but will honestly advise people who SHOULDNT get married.

AGAIN, this is another responsibility that is ALL ON THE MAN. You think a WOMAN knows whether you should really get married or not? FOOK NO! Why? Because its a Responsibility, and Women are Naturally Irresponsibiler than a 50 foot baby with a machine gun.

That Person wasnt very intelligent or assertive or charismatic or a great people person, but people THINK shes a good people person because she sits there and says mhmm and appears to listen, though she comprehends nothign and isnt really listening and doesnt have an original thought in her head. (again, not expecting that women SHOULD be charismatic and intelligent.)

my POINT is, you have to have PEOPLE SKILLS and not be WEIRD in order to get a JOB. so she will have an easier time getting a JOB even though she has kinda bad people skills. I have better people skills than her, but a harder tie getting a job, because I still am a little weird, and probably not as good people skills as the average man.

well, i think in the long run i do, but its hard for me to Wow people in the Short Term and to Sell Myself in the Short Term. over the long term they can see that I am AWESOME…..but that doesnt matter in the job interview.

heh i should look up this guy Im using as a reference.

well i did find his gmail address. this may be useful because his old work email address probably has been shut down hahahaha. he was a good guy. a decent human being. i liked and respected him. i never knew how old he was, but turns out he is 4 years younger than me hahahaha.  and he was a manager, not a level 2. or a level 3. he MANAGED level 1s, 2s, and 3s hahahaha. I do not think he had a hardcore college degree, i cant even find him on linkedin.

anyway, point is, i gotta wear a fancy god damn 180 dollar tailored suit to compensate for my below-average-for-men people skills, to get a job, when she just needs to sit there and look pretty and nod her head and say yes.

i am kinda assmad about having to compete with women for jobs, and i am assmad that they are handily outcompeting/outperforming me!

YOU CANT UNFOOK A COCH, AND YOU CANT UNMURDER A BABY

july 13

did i mention this gurl at the social event? now have seen her 2 weeks in a row. she is very qt and totally dateable. she has ABSOLUTE POTENTIAL to dethrone, usurp, defeat, displace, erase,  REPLACE That Person.

all because i find her very physically attractive as part of my nonslutty type. and then i infer about her personality and morality that she is nonslutty. which is topkek 4 me. in other words, i find nonslutty girls “Drop Dead Gorgeous” and I find gurls who are “secsy and they know it” to be too brazen and slutty. no need to put it all out there like that. we can TELL you’re good looking. WEAR MORE CLOTHES. no need to wear so much or even any makeup. so a woman who implicity understands this, i am attracted to her like a lightning rod.

in other words, i really SHOULD approach this woman. and I rarely feel the desire or interest to approach a woman.

yeah i guess my type is women are who Traditionally Good Looking, but its not like this woman at the pub is a Clone of That Person. there are some similarities which accord to My Type: Nonslutty, dont show too much skin, low makeup, long hair, long legs, meaty bottom and hips, I dont really care about Boobs at all, nice face, paler white skin the better, ideally not brown eyes hahaha, but usually light eyes go along with paler skin.

SUPER chilled out album here

i dont think he’s a J but even if he is i would be inclined to give him a pass. I cant find anything degenerate about this. believe me i’m trying. oh he went to a ((((conservatory)))) and probably is very schooled in ((((schoenberg)))) but oh well richters music still sounds good.

sheeeit applied to state job less than 5 miles from home, 29k a year, YES PLZ.

It was real nice to see that new woman at the pub event and think, ya know, if i were hanging out with her, and she was being nice to me, and cuddling with me, and giving me Dat Ass, and being loyal to me, i would TOTALLY get over and forget about That Person. That is how much potential this new woman has.

i mean shit, she could be a HUGE slut. she doesnt LOOK like one though, and that’s a good sign.

but she hangs out with this gay man who I think goes to COLUMBIA. I do not have that kind of social capital. Even at my best when I was going to a Prestigious Univ…..it wasnt as prestigious as COLUMBIA. people from around here just dont go to ivy league schools. where I went was high tier prestige. i wish it could get me average jobs or average women now, 10+ years later, hehehehe.

that feel when you are first person ever to add an archive.is of a job posting from a company with hundreds of full time employees who make way more than you ever will. they dont even know how 2 archive.is!!!

but yeah even though its frustrating that i was too much of a coward and loser to approach that woman (the new woman hahaha), it was moreso encouraging and positive to think I could have ANY INTEREST or ATTRACTION towards a new woman, beyond being some damn pump and dump slut. Like I actually wanted to date, marry, and Make Babies with this new woman hahaha. I would play the Life Creation Game with her ALL NIGHT LONG. and she would have some BEAUTIFUL, healthy white babies!!!!!

i mean she would probably be leftist because what college education woman isnt, but as long as she had a low partner count, and a super low abortion count, then I could mold her. but

you can’t unfook a coch, and you can’t unmurder a baby. 

oh thats good. thats the kind of CREATIVE you get paid 28k a YEAR for.

14 Words, 14 Dollars an hour, makes sense to me.

anyway i was sitting in the damn emergency room waiting room yesterday from like 6 to 9 am which is never a fun thing, regarding the favor i was doing for my friend who is trying my patience, and i was like there will hopefully not be a lot of people in here at 6 am on a tuesday. and boy would i not want to do this job. pay 80k for nursing school just to work a midnight shift at a damn ER with fooked up ingras and white trash and foreigners and nonwhites. no thank you.

a fully white man with a neck tattoo came out of the ER  and immediate asked for for a cigarette, lighter, anything. I did not have any on me. I prob would have given him one, to help a white out. he had no shoes on and was wearing a GPS or alcohol or house arrest bracelet on his ankle. he was asking about whens the next bus come around. is it ok if i fall asleep here while i wait 2 hours for the bus, i do not want to go back to jail for sleeping in an ER waiting room. thats fine, said the security guard, just lay your head back, and do not lay down on the chair.

what a fooking ridic situation. healthyish white man about 26 years old and this is what it comes to. He sat uncomfortably close to me and asked me to peel back the top of this little cup of apple juice they gave him. I hoped he wouldnt start talking to me at 7 damn am. thankfully he did not.

but then these damn indians or pakis came in with donuts and coffee, a guy and 2 girls, all in their 20s, and they were chattering and being pretty loud. the women were shrill and annoying. they were laughing and giggling and practically having a damn party in an ER waiting room while that white guy was trying to nap, I was sorta trying to nap, and for all they know, our families are dying in there and we are just waiting for an update. the ER waiting room is not a place for FUN and giggling and banter, in other words.

they were there for at least an hour. my first assumption was that they were indian medical students doing some kind of ER clinical rotation for medical school. but didnt have the people skills to know that its kinda rude to act all boisterous. future doctors here.

but yeah what i dont like about women is that they are horrible at human decency. treating people the way you want to be treated. the golden rule. common courtesy. treating relationships and people like objects. not even making the slightest effort to be kind or decent.  treating people and relationships like disposeable, replaceable, throwaway objects and nothing more. HOW CAN YOU TREAT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS LIKE THAT????????????????!!!?!?!?!?!?!

thats the bottom line: HOW CAN YOU TREAT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS LIKE THAT?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

ok i am behind on keeping up with the New Job Stream, and ALSO on actually applying.

which is more important?

applying for jobs. ESPECIALLY if you have daily email alerts for some (but not all!!!!!!) of the Most Important Unmissable companies.

yeah. so, more important to apply for jobs, ASSUMING you have some B+ or even A rating jobs to apply to. I guess when you clear all those out, THEN go back to The List. Well I have like 14 jobs with high rating to apply to!

but yeah what do you say to a woman who is 8 years younger than you, makes more money than you, is further along with her career than you, has had much more relationship experience than you hahahahaha. well that last one is all women.

see you have plenty of foreveralone guys like me who have never had a real gf, or have only had short term dating abortions which lasted 2 or 3 months tops. literally EVERY woman has had SOME kind of long term rel that has lasted at LEAST a year. a long period of time where there was secs, cuddling, hanging out, spending time together, luv, loyalty, and monogamy, over a long period of time.  all women have experienced this. we foreveralones NEVER have.

maybe have pseudodated a woman for a few weeks where we were desperate for them to commit to us, hang out with us, be with us and us alone…..but they were never willing.

oh well. got 5 applications done today hehehe.

so them having Longterm Relationship Experience is FINE. just because you have experience with that, doesnt mean you have LOTS of Short Term Rel Experience. just look at That Person.  I mean you wont be able to FIND a woman WITHOUT LONGterm rel experience. thats FINE. it’s SHORT term rel experience you need to worry about.

even though sure i admit it IS a little intimidating thinking ALL women have long term rel exp, and you have NONE. at 35 years of age, 19 year old gurls have something you’ve never had, hahahahahahahahaha.

dat feel when you have been diligently jobsearching for a while and then you notice jobs get REPOSTED that you applied to like 2 months ago. you say OOO theres a grade A job I should apply to! then you say hey I already applied for this 2 months ago, or something very very like it at the same company, same location. and now they would rather repost the job than call ME? so does that mean I shouldn’t even bother applying AGAIN? I mean they already HAVE my info, without a doubt. unless they routinely throw all that shit away.

so should you reapply? I GUESS. It will show you are motivated and persistent. but Don’t hurt your Average too much applying for it. shit yes you should count it towards your Stats. your average, your total (676), etc.

so yeah. dont worry about the long term rel…..although should you LIE when she asks you about YOUR long term rels? because its really WEIRD and CREEPY when a guy has never had a GF. I would say, yeah, kinda lie. say that you had a few gfs but it didnt work out, water under the bridge, not much to say tbh!

even though you have written books and books about bitches that you never actually dated or fooked hahahahaha.

not much to say tbhfam!

yeah i guess you SHOULD lie because women like DOMINANT men and you’re NOT DOMINANT! so really until you get your first LTR under your belt by BEING DOMINANT, you have to LIE about Being Dominant!

but I would really just call it FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. nothing wrong with that. sounds better and is better than LYING. as a moral man, you dont like LYING. i get it. i’m the same way. so, faking it till you make it is not the same thing as “LYING.” 

how do you approach a qt nonslut who you are actually INTERESTED in, when you are a huge old short loser virgin?

you say, ayyyyyy bae i got a lesson for you. YOU CANT UNFOOK A COCH AND YOU CANT UNMURDER A BABY. drop mic then walk away, and then she will run after you, immediately take your coch, and then murder your baby like it aint no thang. EASY PEASY.

july 14

ok did my big day of shopping and went to JCPENNEY and they did have a good suit selection. found j ferrar brand suit with 95$ coat and 45$ pants. the color jumped out at me, it was blue but also kind of grayish. not a super duper dark blue. unfort it will prob be difficult to pair the coat with normal dark blue pants. its not a very dark navy blue.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-first-kid-my-family-graduate-from-college-have-scars-valentine?trk=hp-feed-article-title-editor-pick

idiot gets engineering degree and ends up working a job you dont need any college for and still in college debt hahaha. i bet he is a virgin too. no i kid. this guy actually has a very good work ethic, and an actually useful degree, and he does deserve better.

but yeah go to jcpenney, they have thousands of coats, then try them on till you find you Jacket Size. There was a bunch of middle aged Whites working there when I went so I trusted them, but it was sad they didnt have a better job. the 55 year old white man was able to sound confident and be like yep this size looks better than that other size. and no we dont do tailoring but there is a tailor in this mall that we direct people to.

then i went to the tailor and enlisted their services to shorten the legs and the arms (i am a very short manlet) for 40$ total.

so, essentially $180 bucks for a Tailored brand new suit. yeah a little pricey but as long as I can get 2 to 3 years out of it. it does look a lot better than what I was wearing.

and i learned muh suit size hahahaha.

also i got a nice red tie.

also got some “dress shoes” that are actually really cheap and kinda look cheap hahahaha. basically got the cheapest “Dress shoes” I could find. 30 dollars and kinda look like they are made of plastic hahaha.

heard a story about how when we were at our event the other night, and I was ogling that New Woman with the long legs and the long dark hair and the pale skin who didnt look like a slut, my colleague noticed in his rearview mirror, a man gyrating his hips behind the car. when my colleague drove ahead, pulled the car around to shine his lights at the guy, he saw that is was actually a guy AND a woman, in fact a sleazy trashy looking couple who had been grabbing each other in the pub earlier, and he was banging her IN THE PARKING LOT, not IN a car, but UP AGAINST the exterior of a car, so that the whole world could see.

DEGENERATE! but I kinda wished I had seen it too. We all left at the same time, so those degneerates were out there when I left too in other words and could have seen them if i were looking.

as i recall it was an overweight 40 year old potatoe shaped single mom white trash tattooed woman hehehehe.

but yeah thats an EXTREMELY slutty bad thing to do. if i found out my wife to be had EVER done that, i would DUMP her. that is a sign of extremely poor character.

so easy to eat over the limit. i am 1000 calories over for the week and its only thursday hehehe.

anyway jc penney was MUCH better than kohls in terms of suits.

its fookin retarded anyway. why do you NEED matching coat and pants.

got a new belt too. which i needed. cuz the old one was all wrinkled, and was too big. cuz muh weight is up and down like crazy over the years. a damn roller coaster.

whoops did not get ANY applications done today.

sooo uhh got 1 week to think about this other interview i MAY have NEXT friday. i thought they were a recruiter at first, but they were actually a company i applied to.  i THINK. outsourced business processes. so the law firm is outsourcing their mailroom and coping staff to a Business Process Outsourcing company, who I would be working for, not for the law firm.

11.50 an hour. eh could be worse. FT days schedule though, that is awesome.

but this isnt a recruiter, i am talking to the damn employer. and i was treating them with the casual attitude i would treat a recruitar. yep lemme call you back if i really want the interview. they probably thought i sounded like an asshole hahahaha .

WELL I will try to decide by next wednesday hahahahaha.

ok how about next tuesday. anything like this i need to sleep on hahahaha. oh shit i must have made a TERRIBLE impression on the person who called me! like yeah i DONT KNOW if i want to interview with you, lemme call you back, which is my “classic” move when I am caught off guard by recruiters. well this wasnt really a recruiter.

but i mean they basically are.

shit yeah its hard to relate to women, because even if a woman isnt a huge slut, even a normal nonslutty woman has no idea what its like to be a FOREVERALONE hahahahaha. they can’t relate to ME, and I can’t relate to THEM.

it is like being ALIENS to each other.

but THAT WOMAN accepted me as a foreveralone! she didnt judge me for it! she still thought I was cool!

UNTIL the moment when I wanted to date her. THEN she was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED, shrinking back like nosferatu getting hit with sunlight.

THE THING IS, we never really TALKED about my foreveraloneness. The MOST we ever talked about something like it was when I talked a LITTLE bit about the Previous Woman and how it was taking me a while to get over her (like a year, hahahaha.) so i was like yeah thats why i acted so weird when we saw that woman and I was so desperate to avoid her. (the previous woman came into our place of work hahaha and That Woman saw her and said hey didnt that woman used to work here, because i only get interested in women i work with, because its the only way i get to meet and talk to and sort of become friendly with women, hahahahaha. and I said oh shit and said yeah I’m gonna go do some work over here, I don’t really want that woman to see, I’ll explain later. and then I went to a very casual friendly dinner with That Woman and explained why.

however I did not go into detail about my foreveraloneness. Just the story of the past couple years up to then. not the past 10 year or anything. and then we talked more about her failing rel with her longterm live in boifran. remember i would not fall in luv with her for about another YEAR after this point.

so yeah, she NEVER really learned a LOT of details about my past. I never talked about the women I DID have short term rels with hahahaha. she didn’t know i was a foreveralone or that i hadnt dated anyone in 8 years or hadnt had secs in 8 years or whatever it was 3 years ago haha.

DF POST BY ME in a thread started by 23 year old virgin male who is lonely and autistic as FOOK but I Sympathize Empathize with him. what prompted me was that he felt guilty about having a preference for white women, him being a white. GR8 B8 M8!!!! I had to disabuse him of that pointless guilt before going into the much more important issue of meeting and getting to know women.

Great topic! First, I would advise to not feel guilty or ashamed about any racial preference as regards dating/intimate relationships. I think @redacted put it much more nicely than I could. People can definitely be a bit “tribal” and I think this is perfectly natural. However, there are also “different strokes for different folks”, and other people are very open to dating outside their race. But I once had the same fear you did. As time passed, I stopped worrying about it and just accepted my preferences as they were.

The more important point in my opinion, is the idea of getting to know somebody before developing deeper feelings for them. My ideal is similar to yours, where people gradually go from strangers to acquaintances to friends and finally to something beyond friends. I don’t think a serious relationship CAN be “rushed”, and it seems strange to me that people can go from strangers immediately to “lovers.” I suppose they might not really be true “lovers” after such a short time, but are rather just “going through the motions”, but I am biased because I’ve always been like this, I’ve never been comfortable with “casual dating” at any point in my life.

For a while I thought this might be considered “demisexual”, which is where a person can only feel physical attraction to a person when there is some kind of emotional connection/relationship already established. I’m not sure how related this is to asexuality, which I also thought I might be. Ultimately, I concluded that I was a pretty standard basic heterosexual who just had a strong preference for monogamous long-term relationships.

Not sure if you’re aware of the concept of “love shy”, there’s a big Love Shy forum out there. In my opinion, this ties in pretty well with the concept of “Forever Alone”, which is usually somewhat introverted young men who go through their twenties struggling with dating and relationships, and then there is the concept of the “wizard” or thirty-year-old male virgin.

Hmmm not sure the point I was trying to make, other than you are not alone! For me I was not just introverted, but definitely shy, anxious, and awkward when it came to socializing with women. Just pointing out the difference between introversion and shyness; some introverts are not shy, but I unfortunately am both, and I wonder if you may be too. (Not sure if there are any extraverts who are shy, but that’s another tangent!)

Basically I just wanted to keep this thread alive and give my long-winded 2 cents, which is that I mostly understand where you’re coming from with this, and I have no great advice! I just wanted to give you some support that it’s really no problem if you have a preference for dating people of your particular race, and especially to the idea that it’s very natural to not really develop deeper feelings for a person until you actually get to KNOW the person.

Of course, getting to know a person can be very challenging if you don’t see the person regularly!

And there’s also the implicit issue of approaching, which I always like to make explicit! In other words, shy, introverted men are usually not getting lots of women (or even people in general!) approaching them/you/us. It is definitely intimidating knowing that the bulk of the responsibility for initiating/approaching is on you, and that is something you’ve never been particularly good at! (I could be wrong – I’m mainly speaking for myself as a shy, introverted male!)

And again I have nothing productive to say about initiating/approaching!

The last thing resembling a relationship I had with a woman was, she was a new person at my job, and I am generally friendly and open and helpful to new employees as a rule, because I appreciate how nerve-wracking it is to learn a new job, and I hate the feeling of being “thrown to the wolves”, “swim or sink”, etc.

So as I was talking to her about the job and just being generally nice (“It’s an easy job, you’ll be fine, don’t be nervous, everyone is very nice, you can ask anybody questions anytime, especially me, I love helping people out”) we then began having small talk and chit chat, which I thought I didn’t like, but I enjoyed small talk with her. (I suppose I don’t really hate “meaningless small talk”, as it allows you to develop a rapport and familiarity and comfortability with a person.)

And through the small talk, I found we had common interests in music and movies and TV and current events, and could get into longer, more detailed conversations about those things.

After a few months of that we were getting along very naturally and very positively. As this pattern continued, we became friends who hung out outside of work.

After about 2 years of this, a switch flipped in my brain, and I fell hard for her, and that spelled doom for our friendship/relationship, and the whole thing ended horrifically for me.

The point of that anecdote is that

1. it takes a long time for people like us to get to know someone and become real friends with them, and that is fine.

2. feelings can change over time, so that you can fall crazily in love with a friend you’ve had for a few years.

Now, I’m not suggesting to make friends with women at work, and I know you are having some struggles with work right now as well (as am I!!!) But the reality is, people spend a lot of time at work, which gives them proximity and familiarity with a group of people that they don’t have elsewhere, and it can be a kind of “springboard” to getting to know people, and making new friends. (it can also be a springboard to bullying and conflict and gossip and abuse and drama etc)

I guess the ultimate point is try to put yourself in positions where you see the same or a mostly-same group of people on a regular basis, which is what it seems you were trying to do with the gaming meet-up, but it also sounds like that is not working out very well, and that it’s also not very conducive to talking to people.

Personally I play blabla once a week and that has been great fun socially. Now I am not really close friends with the people in my blabla group, and I haven’t really met any new women, but it is a regular social outlet that I am thankful for.

So I might tentatively suggest to look into local blabla teams, it seems to be growing in popularity the last couple of years, so there should be something in your area. Basically you just go out to a local bar/restaurant and play a live game of blabla and win prizes.

Sorry for the super-long post everybody!

Also do you think you would qualify yourself as shy as well as introverted? Because that can definitely be a “double whammy” when trying to meet new people, but certainly not insurmountable!

END POAST

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE TO BE AGAINST MURDER

[but i do officially recommend being religious and ESPECIALLY being ultra conservative!!!!!!]

june 13

merry crimbo hahahahahaha

oh wow here’s a new one, they demand THREE letters of recommendation before you can even SUBMIT your application. well, with a salary in the mid to high 30s, they SHOULD hahahaha.

i pulled up something that was given to me in my Layoff packet over two years ago, that wasn’t really a recommendation, more like saying he wasnt terminated for cause, there was a restructuring and he was laid off to cut costs, we hope you give him every consideration hahaha.

got ELEVEN job apps done by 3 pm. WOW. JUST WOW.

rather than delete the bookmarks, i move the bookmarks to a new subfolder called, very sensibly, “completed applications” hahahaha. i can always delete that in the future.

did not have a dream about HER last night, although I did dream about naked women and it was pretty much pornographic. even though I haven’t looked at pr0n in 7 months. I chalk it up to just generally being Horney and Thirsty and not having touched a woman in 10 years hahahaha.

of course after i woke up I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if I could have had luving secs with That Woman, and had her sit on my face, and just grab her as I buried myself balls deep into her cvnt with her big fat thighs wrapped around me and her big fat ass sitting on me etc etc oh god i should never be thinking about that.

BUT she wasnt actually in the dream thank god.

then looked for jobs, got thru indeed for the day, had a longass list of way more than 11 jobs, and started blasting through them, and got through 11. good enough. way better than 4 or 5.

doing some laundry for the first time in like 2 or 3 weeks hahaha.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.

mutrk

I generally have very strong opinions about abortion, as indicated in the study. Even though I am politically conservative and somewhat religious, I think being anti-abortion is neither inherently conservative nor inherently religious. Therefore, I like to encourage secular and/or leftist anti-abortion groups….of which there do not seem to be many, unfortunately. My view is that you don’t need to be conservative or religious to consider abortion immoral, and I am not happy about pro-choice groups have tried to frame it as a strictly religious issue…..when it really isn’t. For example, atheists can be opposed to violence and aggression, and no one says things like assault and murder are strictly religious issues.

Personally, I think abortion represents a huge misunderstanding and disrespect for human life, and that is is comparable to slavery in terms of immoral things that are legalized and accepted by Western society. I think the way abortion is “sold” to young people does not prepare them in the least for thinking about the deep moral questions of human life and death, and some women only come to a deeper understanding many years later, and experience great guilt and regret over doing something they didn’t fully understand at the time.

I also challenge the idea that men are not allowed to have opinions about abortion because men cannot get pregnant.

I encourage you to look at Secular/Non-religious pro-life groups such as
http://www.secularprolife.org
to begin to introduce a perspective that you can have completely non-religious reasons for being against abortion.

I am committed to helping researchers produce research of the best quality and I am happy to give very detailed feedback on any studies. Please contact me through mTurk if you are interested in having a very high-engagement and detail-oriented research participant.

end mturk comment. hahaha it was a morality study saying how moral is it to abort a baby at 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, etc, then showed a picture of each month. I put “100% extremely immoral” for everything but 1 month, where I put 94% hahahahaha because at that point, it looked like literally a clump of cells. in hindsight, I should have put 100%.

but i sure gave those baby killing bitches with their phd’s a piece of my mind hahahahahahahaha

it just goes to show you how terrible these college kids are, when they wont even listen to ATHEIST antiabortionists. they just knee jerk with WOW. JUST WOW. HOW CAN ANYONE BE AGAINST ABORTION. ITS 2016.

because they think you have to be a Narrow Minded Religious Evangelical Conservative to be against MURDER.

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE TO BE AGAINST MURDER.

It’s ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING how the LEFT has twisted the issue like that. that you can’t even see murder as murder without being a conservative religious idiot.

so I always liked the guitar playing of sammy duet but I stopped listening to his band goatwh0re because i just find the singing to be a turnoff. I wish sammy just did the singing instead of their main singer, who is a nice good guy, but his style is……not my preference.

so it is with some curiosity that I look at this “ritual killer” project which features a different singer, and which is supposedly more raw that gw. and also features the original drummer of gw. I saw GW live a couple times when they were just starting out, and they were great, classic, top 5 shows. like during the time of their first 2 albums. i think i only ever saw them when they had the first drummer. after that I just couldn’t listen to their albums anymore hahaha.

which is a way of saying, i hope this ritual killer album turns out to be ok.

yeah they’re all degenerates hahahaha. the singer has tattoos on his FACE and i think they actually do satan worship. I used to think sammy was the coolest guy ever, and I even took a picture with him when I saw GW once hahahahaha.  but……he’s probably a degenerate too. i hope if he has any children he is a good father to them. also i hope he is less degenerate that I suspect he is. because he is a white man and all whites are capable of being non degen. i hope he does not do too many drugs.  hope this album is good (“exterminance.”) it is SHORT, so that’s usually good. hope the guitars are heavy and there are lots of blast beats and that sammy has more than 10% guest vocals hahaha.

but i can appreciate some good hateful, fast, raw black metal. I wish goathwore was rawer and more hateful hahahaha and had a different singer. i also don’t like his lyrical style, his lyrics make no sense and use the word “this” wayyyyy too much, and so then he’s always SAYING “this” in his annoying voice hahahaha. when I was 19 years old, I used to LIKE him. i did quite a 180. he’s still a decent guy I guess…..but just retire from singing and have a damn FAMILY , white man hahahaha.

well here’s that album i just mentioned. I just listened to it, the whole thing in one sitting. it was not bad. not bad at all. vicious and face ripping. tons of blast beats. I would have liked a little louder cymbal on the drums but still not bad. very sharp and ripping guitar sound. not enough screaming from sammy but the main singer is not bad. i can recommend it based on the guitars and drums alone. brings me back to 2000 when goatwhore was fresh and scary and evil. this RK sounds pretty evil and hellish. its kinda raw I guess. but for a fan of sammy who wants to enjoy gotahwore but cant, this RK is pretty good.

some noisy solos in there too. blasts in every song. a couple very rocking riffs sprinkled throughout. not bad at all. hateful and evil and a bit degenerate but also fun. but not TOO much fun. not a bunch of smiling happy phaggots. and I can actually tolerate the vokills.  3.6/5 bretty good

this is not bad at all and would be a great thing to listen to while exercising briskly. like Jogging, which I have not done in a while.

i was listening to the nationalist review, which is done by a guy on trs, well, at least 3 or 4 guys on trs,

the guy who leads it is no1 who I first heard on the fatherland, well this is his main show, and he’s really good. really likable marine officer, can’t believe he puts himself out there like that. his cohost natt is a danish guy who is really funny, just a huge arrogant asshole hahaha. and here they have andrew anglin on as a guest.

oh god bless these men. I don’t want to be on an Alt Right Podcast just yet, but I wouldn’t mind meeting and talking with some of these guys.

My own skills would be best used on a Neetcast however.

maybe doing a partnership with Millennial Woes. He is most like me personality wise in that he is prone to great despair, doubt, and neetism.

oh good god, no1 and natt do an episode with EVALION

subscribe to this guy already hahaha.

i dont need to dnate to him because he makes 148800 dollars a year as a marine officer hahaha.  plus they havent put the dnation hat out yet.  but i did find his email address on paypal hahaha.

june 14

2 jobs down, 8 more to go hahaha. also go see SHRINK today, yaaasssssssss!!!

well at least i appear to be losing weight again. probably because i am losing muscle hahaha.

8 down, 2 to go. damn. gotta go to shirnk very soon. took shower today, thats good hahaha. wanna not look and smell like a slob for the shrink haha. also when i was an employed bigboy, i did take a shower before every shift and come in nice and clean.

went to shrink, that was ok. talked about job search and shit, a little bit about that woman. i said it sucks, i learned lessons, but it jsut wasnt worth it. but then shrink said well arent I a stronger better person at the end of it all? technically yes, i am a better person in the end. so that IS KINDA worth it.

also the fact that I couldn’t make the same mistake again if i tried. there is no way this will ever happen again. it just CANT. Im not even worried about it. i have been changed permanently so that this will never happen again. in terms of being more assertive abotu communicating and stuff.

so i have become more mature and stronger and better able to DEAL with bullshit like this.

doesnt mean it wasnt ridic painful or stupid! because it was!

ok i will go back and listen to the old goatwhore albums. i really liked their first two albums. maybe i can still listen to them.  i mean there was some really good songs there, and maybe the vocals dont sound as bad as I fear.

anyway. yes i HAVE been permanently changed by this horrible experience. but it is possible that I have been permanently changed for the better……once we get to the end of it all. i am not quite there but i def am getting there. i still think of her obviously. pretty much every day. but it’s still a lot better than it was. but yeah i really need the distance and the no contact. i couldn’t do it with no contact. it takes well over a year just for her memory to even start to fade a LITTLE.

its like craving for heroin a YEAR after you last touched it. shit.

you stop craving for heroin like two WEEKS after. but HER, THAT WOMAN, I still crave for her a YEAR later. well, 11 months later hahahaha.  such that I cant even substitute anyone else. i mean, if i were trying to get off heroin, you can bet id be taking a LOT of MJ hahahaha. MJ helps you quit anything hahahaha.

MJ would probably help me quit this too heh.

but i just think about her and how good it USED to be and how much I luved her and how the hell am I gonna find that with another woman?

this IS a special thing that should not be treated like a casual cok carousel! you CANT get these feelings easily!

so i guess i should not expect to.

listened to that goatwh0re album, the first one, eclipse of ages into black (2000) and it def has staying power, it was great fun, and i didnt hate the singer so much. he still said this and these too much, but on some parts he is quite enjoyable. the lyrics are a frustrating mix of honestly quite good, and then filler tryhard this these fluff. for me the mainstays are sammy’s guitar and the drummer. they play very well together. and i like the old drummer better than the new drummer….who is not bad at all. indeed, probably sammy shifted his style as gw got older. some say they became more straightforward, and that they were “darker” and “more atmospheric” in the beginning. this might be true.

its not a huge secret that sammy is pretty serious about his devil worship, but i don’t know the details. i kinda would like to. like he literally does black magic and probably cuts himself. but he seems like an otherwise normal guy. not all suicidal and autistic and such. well, maybe he is bipolar. all these fookin musicians are bipolar. i heard he used to do Coke. hopefully he doesnt do too much of that. well, its better than meth hahahaha.

so sammy why not try orthodox christian. they are darker and more solemn and shit. youre gonna worship SATAN? I thought this was cool when I was 16-23. not when I was 45 or however old he is. you can be dark and “evil” and essentially worship GOD hahahaha. If he has a wife and children I hope he is good to them. Doesn’t neglect them so he can get drunk and do drugs and worship satan. but what I like about his style is that he writes tons of very catchy, very effective riffs. he is a riff machine. a riff factory. a true riffmaster in every sense of the word. not like nile, dumping tons of incoherent riffs. sammy dumps slightly less riffs and they are all a lot catchier. but still heavy, hyper, and fast.

WOMEN SHOULD CARE ABOUT GETTING PREGNANT AS MUCH AS I CARE ABOUT GETTING THEM PREGNANT

 

may 5

sorry not sorry i am always talking about abortion. any sensible person would agree its a big deal.  i wish there were MORE pro-life (yes I like that term) activists who were not super religious. I mean its gotten to the point where being pro-life, anti-abortion has basically become SYNONYMOUS with being a religious jesus freak weirdo, and the ONLY people who are against abortion are bible thumping, gun toting, gay-hating rednecks. my type of people hahahahahahaha.

but I will accept ALMOST ANYBODY as a pro-life ally: even filthy leftists. it seems weird to think of an anti-abortion leftist, but maybe there’s a few. and that could be a good point of entry into saving them from the left.

good thing I know how to turn unknown unknowns into known knowns and become an expert without hand holding

google is your friend

google pro life groups that are not religious

http://www.secularprolife.org/

this is one of the first results, that means they are a big one. hey i dont have the gift of discernment or judgment, I just take what google gives me hahahaha.

i mean i just don’t understand how being anti-abortion is strictly “A RELIGIOUS STANCE.” oh now were talking RELIGION.

NO, we are talking general morality. like mill and philosophy 101.

or even gayass libertarian nonaggression principle. dismembering your screaming fetus seems pretty aggressive, man.

i mean it just sounds patently ridiculous to me, to think that you HAVE to be anti-abortion for religious reasons. it seems just like common sense, kinda like how most people have common sense that murder is wrong. ((((somehow)))) people have been convinced that abortion is not murder, that the clump of cells is not a actual person.

http://www.refinery29.com/2015/10/96229/pro-life-millennial-activist

pretty sure refinery29 is a shitty pro-murder feminist leftist degen site, like jezebel. but decent article on pro life millennial gurl. and horrible comments from pro-murderers hahaha.

http://www.prolifehumanists.org/

another group i guess? kinda shitty website.

http://www.prolifehumanists.org/changed-mind-atheist-becomes-pro-life/

skinny friendly looking gurl with a polish surname, ok checks out, thumbs up for her. and she seems strong and courageous, taking an unpopular view among atheists and being hated by promurder atheists. So good for this courageous and strong young woman. that is a strong independent woman I can support! one who defends the right of our youngest, most vulnerable humans to live!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_Pro-Life

oh we already saw this one. its shameful how leftist atheists will turn against one of their own, when that person defends the rights of the unborn. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. and as a fairly catholic rightist, I am very welcoming to the pro-life atheists.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2014/03/11/yes-there-are-pro-life-atheists-out-there-heres-why-im-one-of-them/

the cute atheist girl from prolife humanists writes an article here which got 4000 comments hahaha.

http://www.lifenews.com/2012/02/28/confessions-of-a-pro-life-atheist-why-i-fight-abortion/

this guy doesnt have his own group but he points out that even atheist hero chris hitchens was probably pro-life hahaha.

http://www.aul.org/

americans united for life

group of lawyers trying to change abortion laws. the secular pro life founder gurl went to law skool and went to work with them.

http://www.catholicworldreport.com/Item/1909/atheist_secular_and_prolife.aspx

article at a probably catholic website abotu SPL and some of its possible predecessors, including a j00ish randian pro-life libertarian who split with rand over abortion.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160427000025/http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/05/abortion-opposition-religious-atheists-must-help-fight-for-choice

scumbag at the guardian sez:::  “opposition to abortion is inherently a religious position, just like creationism or opposition to LGBT rights. ”

um no. hahahahaha. what have i been saying. its NOT an INHERENTLY religious position.

http://archive.is/FZ5nP

pro-murder atheists brutally bash the cute polish anti-murder gurl, doesnt matter that shes an atheist too. not that I like that she’s an atheist!

these people are truly VILE. just reading it for 1 minute makes the ole trigger finger itch hahahahahaha.

this is at freethoughtblogs dot com, which I absolutely do NOT recommend clicking on. hence the archive of their evil.

http://frc.org/arguments

pro life arguments for secular audiences. family research council. I know leftists hate this org.  FRC Stands for Faith, Family, and Freedom and is a bigass think tank.  but are they cuckservative zionists hahahaha.  will I accept cuckservative zionist pro-lifers as my allies hahahahaha. oooosh. now theres a REAL tough question. I mean you do realize who has been behind the abortion movement goy.

http://hopeafterabortion.com/

this one i guess is founded by catholics but will help even damn atheists who are feeling bad about their abortion.

i dunno. i just think its STUPID that something as common sense as being against Murder, has been made into something inherently religious, inherently “whackjob conservative”, inherently “anti-science”, inherently “anti-intellectual”, inherently extemist, hateful, bigoted, etc.

you dont say ANY of that about someone who’s against murder. most people ARE against murder!

and 60 years ago, people had the same common sense abotu abortion!

google secular pro-life groups

http://thebelltowers.com/2013/05/01/pro-life-without-god/

article by SPL founder gurl

http://www.nrlc.org/

right to life, biggest and oldest pro life organization. this does not look like religious wingnuttery to me!!!!!!

plan b aka the morning after pill aka “EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTION” wow.  not the same as RU 486 which is an abortion pill which can be taken at 5 to 7 weeks.

some shitty buzzfeed article (redundant to say that hahaha) from some sex positive sex educator slut who gives you 16 things you didnt know abotu the morning after pill.

if they put as much interest and initiative and studying into Moral Questions and the Rights of the Unborn as they did into Contraception and Consent and Exploring Their Sexuality……………………………  they would probably become anti-abortion. but they don’t and they’re not. largely because of how they choose to focus their time and efforts. isn’t this birth control NEAT! it allows me to enjoy my Sex Life Responsibly, and get maximum enjoyment!

i think it was the SPL group who had a bumper sticker saying “i might like sex, but I dont like it more than life itself” or something. there are more important things involved in sex than just your god damn physical pleasure, you god damn sicko degenerate.

people have a ton of sex ed in public school about condoms and contraceptives and abortion, but not a god damn word about Morality and Life Creation. So I think women are just IGNORANT because they havent been introduced to these topics. the same way a level 1 tech support person is IGNORANT of all the potentially useful stuff out there, like log files or process monitors or ways to automatically restore a crashed program.

theres all these unknown unknowns happening in the black box of the uterus. of course even the woman herself doesn’t know what goes on down there! in her own body!

its sad. well i think the more intelligent person will be curious enough to say, well when does life ACTUALLY begin.

also I am myself biased because i went to a religious high school and was raised in a religious family so naturally i had it drilled into me that abortion was wrong. but then i rebelled against all that during my college years, and i do mean ALL of it. religion, GOD, morality, pro-life. I became a full blown leftist communist marxist k1ke and supported womens right to abortion.

thank GOD I eventually grew out of that phase!

maybe if i had a gf or even was just banging bitches, i would be more in tune with the life creation process. like i always worried about getting a woman pregnant, even when there was no risk of me having actual secs at any point! i guess i always felt that getting pregnant was a real big deal, and i didn’t want it to have to come to the point of abortion.

thwart, dont abort as one of those groups said. meaning its ok to use rubbers. just had to mansplain that to all the ignorant women out there, hahahaha.

is this just because That Woman didnt seem very smart? very sharp? and I felt I had to mansplain everything to her and she just didnt GET things?

but she had two years of college and had a good GPA at it! so I think she was smarter than she seemed. but she was polite enough to know that being a smartypants is impolite.

i dont know. i am not intimidated by intelligent women. there’s just a big differnece bew

i bet religious pro lifers are more tolerant of atheist pro lifers than general atheists are!!!!!!

tons of recreational sex can warp a womans mind, and a mans mind too.

but also tons of pornography and tons of vidya games and no contact wiht women can really warp a mans mind too.

not sure what my point is hahaha.

maybe the only thing that will get a woman to think serious about the issue of abortion, is if she gets damn pregnant. and even then its no guarantee. she might just go ahead and do it because she believes what her teachers and society tells her: its a clump of cells thats a part of your body and you can do with it what you wish. its JUSTICE and FREEDOM that women have fought so hard for, against evil oppressors who tried to enslave your body. you getting an abortion is an act of social justice! you go grrrrl!!!!!!

white cadillac: a drink of whiskey (or scotch?) and MILK hahaha. the fatherland mentioned this and said it was a very black drink, but it was surprisingly good and really helps you sleep.

If i still drank I would be curious to try that hahaha.

google says no, the white cadillac is galliano and white creme de cacao?

anyway i like depressants that relax you and put you to sleep ahahaha.

yeah i overwhelmed her and that sucks, but she abandoned me and that sucks even more hahahaha.

took a little nyquil, i am back on taking a little nyquil every 2 or 3 days. ideally 3.

may 6

yeah that nyquil was all right.

listen. i dont consider myself super religious. i have always had pretty weak faith and very strong doubt. my moral code has been…..basically I try to give nonreligious reasons for all my moral opinions. and in doing so I believe I am getting at the same line of moral thought GOD and gods and deities have used to say something is wrong. thomas aquinas often appealed to “natural law” as well as scripture.

and its infuriating to me when idiots say anti-abortion is an inherently religious issue, when its so not.

THIS IS one of the great LIES the ((((LEFT)))) has pulled on us.

like one of the secular pro life groups says, you dont need to be religious to want to protect human life.

i hate how da j00s have made this a religious nutjob issue, instead of a BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS issue, like it really is. like SLAVERY. or the way they made pushing FOR abortion into a Human Rights and Freedom issue.

isnt that grotesque? arguing FOR abortion is a human rights issue, arguing against abortion is a religious nutjob, anti-human rights issue.

we cant allow them to frame the argument in this horribly misleading way!!!!!!!!!!

and encourage young dumb girls to do something horrible that they dont really understand!!!!!!!

which essentially makes them worse people , and they dont even understand why. they just become crazy and destructive and awful.  that’s your mind and soul acting out of rightful guilt for killing your baby hahahaha. but this guilt needs to be addressed. otherwise it can damage the lives of the people around you too. like if you sabotage your relationships with the people in your life. cheat on them, hurt them, push them away, abandon them, be a crazy bitch to them.

YOUR BODY DOESNT CARE IF ITS RELIGIOUS OR NOT.

Your Child Your Murdering doesn’t care if its religious or not.

(i would passive aggressively write “your” instead of “you’re” when I was texting or messaging her, because she was such a moron she didnt know the difference, and I wanted to SHOW her how ridiculous it looked…….but not knowing the difference, she never grasped it. people who have completed 2 years of college with a high gpa should not make these mistakes.)

yesterday i learned elliott smith was a college graduate who worked shitty random low wage jobs after graduating from a liberal arts college with a philosophy degree.  he also became a nutcase lunatic with big problems with drugs and alcohol and despair. but at least he became a successful and respected musician.  he could use his Issues to make a lot of actually good music. I cant do that hahahaha. and it wasn’t enough to help him!

yet he was clearly charismatic enough to get jobs and to get gurlfrans! there is solid evidence that he had secs with at least 3 women in his life ahahahaha!

what would have helped him? i guess he actually went to rehab but didnt like the 12 steps. ok thats fair. so do a non 12 step program.

near the end of his life he went cold turkey off all drugs and alcohol. but he was still taking psych meds for depair, also benzos for anxiety, and adderall for ADD when he died.

hmmm. I would say yeah get rid of the drugs and alcohol and then slowwwwly taper off the psych meds if you really want. or maybe just give them a chance to try to work.

maybe he was all on edge from quitting drugs and alcohol, and that actually gave him the Anxious Impulsivity as well as the Energy to Suddenly Kill Himself without thinking. just grab the knife and stab himself and then as hes dying he thinks, OH SHIT, i didnt really want to do that!

so yeah its sad. but musicians are a weird and crazy bunch and he probably was obnoxious to be around. musicians are selfish and annoying. they sell out their friends and luvers so they can obsess about their shitty music. but at least his music was not shitty.

but yeah i didnt know he had finished a college degree. like me it was a useless degree that didnt help him get a proper job. After college his music career gradually took off. can’t say the same happened with me hahahaha. I don’t really want to write songs anymore. I wrote one ok song after college and I’m happy with that, but, just dont care about writing music. I care about being a free, proud man, and finding and good wife, and securing the existence of my people and a future for my children.

and upholding the DIGNITY and SANCTITY of human life. I tell you what, a pro-life woman is also probably NOT gonna be a huge slut. because she fully realizes the power of the life creation process, and is not gonna have casual sex ever. MY KINDA WOMAN.

A PRO LIFE WOMAN IS MY KINDA WOMAN.

Yeah I happily use the term pro-life, because it makes the anti-lifers so ASSMAD. BUTTHURT. TRIGGERED.

and its just sad that modern women are such MORAL INFANTS that they cant recognize the moral horror of abortion, that unborn children are living humans, and that Fun Sex is the Powerful Process that creates these innocent human lives. If you can’t grasp these things, and SO many people don’t, you are a moral INFANT.

no men arent innocent either. but women have a little more responsibility here, because only women have the POWER to get pregnant.

so i feel better when i read testimonies by staunchly pro-life women. I wish I knew some real life staunchly pro life women. I guess I sort of do, some older religious women hahahaha. but i especially mean younger millennial women. marriageable women ahhahaha. potential wives.

nothing says i’d make a great mother than a woman who openly says i support the right to murder my own children!!!!! hahahahaha.

i still have the desire to smoke MJ. i still want to rationalize why its not completely degenerate, turning promising young people into lazy losers.  i say well it can help with despair and anxiety. maybe in the short term, but in the long term, it just makes these things WORSE! or does it?

like i’ve said, back when I was working my terribly stressful job and dealing with the stress of that woman and our rel getting worse, coming home after a long horrible day and not having a lot of time before the next horrible day, smoking MJ was easily the high point (hahahahha pun sort of intended) of my day. in these bleak conditions, I much preferred having MJ to not having MJ. it really provided some much needed relief. helped me sleep when getting good sleep was very important. so it is this experience that makes me think MJ isnt so bad after all.

or is it???!?!?!?!

horry SHEET it costs THIRTY DOLLARS A MONTH to buy linkedin premium on the LOWEST plan, for Job Seekers. are you KIDDING???!?!?!?!?! I would have maybe thought about FIVE dollars a month. how the FOOK can they get away with that? who is paying that shit!!!!!!

the REcruiter plan is one HUNDRED dollars a month. does that mean all these 27 year old attractive women IT recruiters contacting me for help desk call centers are each paying 100 dollars a month for their linkedin access??!?!?!?!?!

I would pay 5 dollars a month MAYBE. yet they can get away with charge SIX TIMES that for what I am looking for.

does that mean its SIX TIMES harder to get a job than I think? And I already think its kind of hard! that you need to apply for about 7500 jobs before you finally successfully get a job. so maybe you really need to apply for like 48000 jobs? hahahahahaha.

Privileged Baby Boomers didnt have to apply for 48000 jobs in 1970 to get a fulltime job that allowed them to have a family and live in a safe neighborhood!

you just got out of high school and starting working!

people with BAD ATTITUDES could be hired for good jobs! you just had to be WILLING TO WORK!

applied for account clerk 1 with county family health service department. like 26 k a year. ok thats more my style. probably talking to poor blacks all day complaining about not gibs me enuff food stampz mufugga. gibs me mo food stamps what can pay fo mah bluntz and hennesey.

and then i would be like silly negro, food stamps cant pay for booze, take it up with the fedgov. its because fuhrer god emperor trump doesnt care about black people hahahahahahahahahahahaha i will say as I strike a pepe pose with my trump hat hahahaha.

i have applied for countless jobs on this county job website and havent gotten so much as an invitation to a damn test. the city has been much more active on that front than the county.

does MJ HELP despair and anxiety……or does it make it WORSE?

ok i did it, just sent my first dnation to TRS. I have been wanting to do this for a while. I would have just sent 5 dollars but you have to send them BTC so I sent them .01488 BTC which is $6.75. FINE. they are all about the 1488 and really so am I!!!!!!!

other people i would like to donate to are millennial woes and weev. but I would rather save those for another day hahaha. dont want to blow my load all at once.  and maybe a secular abortion group like the one with that polish gurl who is very courageous and principled and moral. there is probably less “OVERHEAD” here than with a large org like right to life with lots of paid staff hahaha.

http://www.businessinsider.com/trickiest-interview-questions-from-best-companies-in-america-2016-5

stupid dickhead questions for jobs, where the best answer is suck muh dick you worthless virgin f4ggot and then walk out after farting tons of taco bell fartz in their faces.

no one has ever luved a person like i luved her, and had their heart broken like she broke mine, hahahahahaha. this is the first time in all of history.

but honestly. just show some common courtesy to someone who used to be your friend at least. its not like i sold you out and belittled you and showed you how little I cared about you. quite the opposite! i didnt do anything to make you feel SNUBBED and worthless. like you did to me hahahaha. just tell me I mattered a little bit to you and you are sorry to hurt me and wish me good luck in life and say goodbye, it was nice knowing you. you can say all that in 140 characters or less.

Now I cant even look at qt college gurls on linkedin because I have made myself fully public and they will be able to see my name if i look at their profile. Assuming they are also set to public.

you didnt have to luv me. i just really wanted you to show me a LITTLE caring and kindness, rather than ABSOLUTE ZERO. I kinda did feel entitled to a LITTLE kindness.

to that person: yeah I should have been more clear about exactly how important you were to me. yeah I see how those feelings would be scary to a person. and make them run away like a scared animal. but I wish you had come back and said something after your initial fright. even before I got feelings  I felt our friendship was pretty special and pretty good, and I think you did too. I wish when it all ended you had expressed appreciation for that nice friendship we had. Even without feelings, that was a special friendship to me. It’s not every day you meet someone and get along with them so well, and you continue getting along well for several years. I don’t make friends like that very often and have never had that many close friends. I think you are the same way. But now I don’t know any more. because the person I thought I knew would probably say something to me. Its ok to be angry. Its ok to be scared and nervous. I just wish you wrote me an email. I wish you didnt hate me for getting feelings. It makes things awkward and complicated and yeah it does ruin the friendship and I am sorry for causing you pain because of that. I just wish you didn’t hate me for it. You totally running away from me and blocking me hurts me a LOT. Is this some kind of punishment for me liking you? Maybe. But I think being blocked and ignored is inherently more hurtful than getting feelings for someone.  I never wanted to hurt you. I wish you cared about not hurting me.  This is the worst endings to one of the best relationships I ever had, and I was just asking for your cooperation and effort in ending it a little more smoothly, and you couldn’t even agree to do that.

end of letter to that person for this post hahahaha.

did a 3.64 mile walk outside in the nice may weather. wonder if you can get real vitamin d from the sun when it is after high noon. hopefully a little.

protip: if you are “lucky” enough to share significant musical interests with a woman, don’t ever go to a concert of that person with that woman. like you like the musician enough to actually want to go to their concert, and she does too. just go by yourself and try to make sure she never finds out about the concert hahahaha. cuz seeing a musician like this will likely be an important positive memory in your life, and you dont want it to be Tainted by her being there. because you are much more likely to have a falling out with her than to stop liking that musician. and your thing with her will end, and you WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE MEMORY of when you saw them in concert because SHE was there with you.

I say this as a person for whom concerts of beloved musicians are Big Important Life Memories. You will know if you are one of those people.

I saw not one but two very important life concerts with her and now I can’t really enjoy those memories as much as I SHOULD. because they also partially remind of me of HER. And how we shared important musical tastes. and got along so well wawawawawawaw.

but yeah its so fooking gay when management has no idea how to do the work done by the people they manage. which is why managers should be promoted from within. or at least be SOLIDLY trained in the work their people do. or come from the same industry.

 

MURDERING YOUR BABY HAS CONSEQUENCES

may 5

This fookin guy does a real talk video on despair and su1c1de after a friend of his recently K’d himself. now I have never consistently listened to AURINI, but I dont doubt he’s an ok guy. He probably repented for banging his other friends wife. I wonder if thats the guy who K’d himself!

no i dont hate aurini, he seems like an allright guy for the most part, his voice is just so annoying and he’s spergy and really no 40 year old man should not have a wife and kids. well some mgtows probably want these things but cant get them so they make a youtube channel as a substitute to express themselves. I do something similar.  i am lonely and desperate and needy and clingy for a good wife hahahahaha.

prolific yt commenter frances haypenny tells a horrible story of her husbandos friend who had an evil bitch wife who drove him to S001c1de, leaving 5 kids fatherless while she begs for money on gofundme and enjoys fookfests with latin men and now you have 5 white kids who will grow up to be batshit crazy. so sad.

ok now i have an actual interview for the part time 13 dollar an hour job that I have taken 3 hours of testing to get to this advanced round, where I will be grilled by 3 very higher ups for a damn 12000 dollar a year job.

maybe the job is just taking angry phone calls from city residents ALL DAY and finding creative ways to give them the runaround and protect the city higher ups from doing any work and being held accountable hahahaha.

Nope Not my problem, nothing we can do, call someone else, i dunno who. a lawyer. a plumber. a mechanic. best buy geek squad. comcast. not my problem. it is what it is. cant be fixed. no explanation. if you need an explanation, you’re not gonna believe the explanation anyway. i am the supervisor. i don’t have a manager. yes i’m practically a C-level executive VP.  next!

I dunno. everyone who works at the city seems ok. well except the city council, nobody likes them hahahaha. but thats different. hey i am a concerned citizen, i actually watch the city council meetings a couple times a year hahahaha.

ok. will bring a 3 page resume, a 1 page resume, my 2 letters of recommendation, then when I write a thank you email to hopefully all those people on THE DEATH PANEL, will include attachments of those documents as well.

if people want good technical support in their companies, there might have to be a REVOLUTION. or customer support for that matter. hire more people, give them regular training, make them take less calls, give them more power, not penalize them for long calls, make the higher ups accountable, give them good wage and health care, not chain them to their desks, let them do stuff other than take phone calls all day. have weekly meetings and actually relevant useful training.

yep all that amounts to a REVOLUTION hahaha. it really does.

interview.txt:

I will need to take 3 to 5 days to do a full audit of your systems. I will then need to write documentation and knowledge base for your systems. Then I will educate and train all users on proper use of the systems. Not simply tell them, if this happens, push that button, but empower them to be able to use the system proactively to prevent issues from occuring, and also have the basic skills to resolve simple issues independently. This will minimize the need for a dedicated IT Support Staff. Build service contracts with vendors for when serious problems do occur. Don’t hoard and hide knowledge in an unethical way to make yourself seem more indispensible. Write clear, complete documentation and make it available to all levels of users on the intranet.

this guy I know just waltzed in and pissed all over the previous IT Guy with this type of Real Talk. the previous IT guy was fired on the spot and the guy I know offered the job. Now he is a retiree just looking for a part time hobby really, so I hope they dont overburden him. I was talking to him about “the interview” and the job, since at first they were really vague, but they were unhappy with their IT Guy. who seemed to be a loose cannon information hider.

I hate information hiders but I know IT Guys can be twisted into mean nasty trolls by their company and the higher ups. but this is a smaller company and the IT guy deals directly with The Owner, so…..i don’t think that’s the case.

I am optimistic that my Acquaintance will Walk Out if the thing gets too time consuming and or ridiculous. He is a stable, steady, confident 65-year old man who has had a full, rewarding life of marriage, children, grandchildren, and lots of World Travel. He has met Tom Petty. He has been to Rhodesia. He has seen Led Zeppelin and the Doors. He has been just about everywhere in the world. He has gotten into bar brawls with Cowboys and has knocked bar douchebags out cold with Roundhouse Kicks. He really is one of the most Interesting guys I have met in a while and does not have a big head about it all. very down to earth and friendly. great guy. good role model. I am still not sure what his career actually was. I thought he was more on the business side than the Engineering side. He was definitely not an Engineer or a Scientist. I think most of his travel was for Business. He does not have a masters degree. not sure what his bachelors degree was. I know he played College Football and probably had the attention of a lot of Cute College Gurls. Like I say, he is around 65 years old. Solid Baby Boomer. He probably Slayed plenty of College Pvssy but was still able to find a good wife. He is a very solid man however. like, not a loser. he is able to pull a good woman. and definitely a smart guy, at least a 114 IQ on him, hahahahahahaha. His children grew up to be successful, make money, and give him some grandchildren.

I don’t like asking him about all these personal things but I am slowly building my catalog of this information hahaha. I think he might have been married twice and the first one did not last too long. any woman would be a total idiot to divorce him. maybe he divorced her because he realized he could do better, hahahahaha.

Very good masculine presence on him. I can only imagine what he was like at age 20, pumping iron and slaying college pvssy in the late 60s, early 70s. horry sheet.

no he did not go to a fancy pants college, he went to a super normie college that everyone in the area who went to college at that time went to , and which thousands of people still go to, which has produced many successful grads, which anyone with a brain knows is a decent school, but no one outside of the state really knows about it, the Campus is not super pretty, and people at my highly selective University scoffed at it as a third tier toilet. but hopefully changed their minds once they got out in the Working World and met some perfectly smart and capable grads of that school. hopefully. or they just went to orgs where everyone went to harvard and mit and stanford and duke and columbia. fook that hahahahaha.

well, i will go into the interview, let them bust my balls with tuff questions for 30 minutes, and then I will be free to go. Hell I am free to stand up and leave at any time if they begin busting my balls too much anyway! not that that is likely to happen.

but if I can sweat bullets on a 3 hour phone call, bullshitting out of my ass, then surely I can handle a 30 minute interview. and if they dont like my answers, fook em. hire one of the other 100 people hahahaha.

no its not cost effective to interview 100 people, that’s why you have two fooking rounds of stupid testing just to get to the interview. and some of those 100 people walk out of the stupid multiple choice test.

The second test was a lot better, re using word and excel and seemed much more relevant to the job. They could have given that one first, but it was certainly too much work to check. a 100 question multiple choice test can be checked quickly with a scantron.

again i really feel underqualified for the FT job there, and wish they had a FT opening that was a little less on pay grade. So I have a better chance of getting the PT job in other words. I mean its better than nothing but I also know PT jobs make me lazy hahahaha but FT jobs make me crazy hahaha but every adult man MUST have a FT job, thats simply THE RULES.

comments in that aurini video refer to how the root of all sin is SHAME, and christ was trying to rid us of shame. I cant say I agree with this. I think a little shame is a great thing! and you should feel shame for the sins you commit. Of course then you should feel shame, then repent, then receive GODS forgiveness and mercy, then move on with your life not burdened by shame, but also wiser and stronger and more virtuous and less sinful.

ARE YOU TELLING ME that IT Higher Ups don’t know about the existence of, or how to set up, a “process monitor” that checks the health of certain important processes, so that if an important program which you can’t see crashes suddenly, it give an error box, and also automatically restarts, and gives you another unmissable error box if it can’t restart.

so it’s up to the level 1 idiot to dream up such a thing and find a way to implement it.

when you dont have teachers or mentors or trainers, you are like a feral child or wolf. You find a way to survive day to day, but you often miss very basic fundamental things, which in hindsight SEEM obvious, but it REALLY helps to be taught those things by somebody. you can save yourself YEARS of struggle and stress and wasted time. just to have a Mentor teach you some key Best Practices.

like yes, there ARE Process Monitors that do this. nobody told me about them. I’m not sure if our company used them. they SHOULD have, because we had a lot of important semi-hidden programs that would often crash without warning and disrupt all sorts of shit! I would think, jeez, for such an important program, there should be something that keeps it from crashing, or at least starts it up again automatically if it crashes! I’m not a programmer so I don’t know how to build that program, but can’t they do that?

then I read something recently by a programmer talking very technical language on how to do something like that on like a linux server. but what about windows?

Like I say, i don’t LIKE this tech shit. it doesnt INTEREST me. I just became OBSESSED with how things worked, because my job was to fix weirdass problems, and I hated not understanding the problems or solutions! It was more an unhealthy obsession than a healthy interest. It drove me crazy rather than made me stronger or tougher or better.

As I Tell My Daughters, a Fallen World Isn’t Fair

catholic blog linked to from the fatherland, seems pretty straight. no you shouldnt blame girls for getting raped, but you should also teach them about the unfairness of the world, and parties with lots of alcohol are not great environments for young women. dressing like a whore gives you the worst kind of attention from the worst kinds of men. sex should be treated with the respect it deserves, as the sacred life creation process. its not a motherfooking GAME. teach your daughters to be careful as fook. how to avoid danger, and also the “near occasion of sin.”

The World Thinks Sex Is Boring

same author david mills writes about sexual morality and how people are so degenerate that the safety and security of a monogamous rel is simply not exciting and dangerous enough, well fook these degenerates

http://aleteia.org/author/david-mills/

so you need to build in “pockets of distance” to spice up your boring married sex life, advises the guardian or some shit. (for dumb women: thats a degenerate british newspaper, very marxist/progressive/degenerate/evil/sinful.)

http://aleteia.org/category/relationships/

hahahaha.

yeah i cant find the mission statement but its a catholic site. but what KIND of catholics? new agey bullshit francis loving catholic heretics hahaha? or good old skool traditional catholics?

How Do I Tell My Daughter I Had an Abortion?

hehehe well first be grateful that you have been able to raise a young woman in todays world who is morally intelligent enough to oppose abortion. and good for you for being ashamed of your abortion and hopefully repenting for it and raising a daughter who would never have an abortion. maybe you don’t even NEED to tell her. that will just complicate things and theres no NEED to tell her. of course it will bother you, you want to be honest, but consider that part of the Lifelong process of repentance for your Abortion hahaha. murdering your baby has consequences hahaha. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT. MURDERING YOUR BABY HAS CONSEQUENCES.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat/2012/05/fifteen-years-later-and-silent-no-more.html

hmm the catholic advice columnist has had TWO abortions herself. but has a good article here, saying the abortionists just treat it as a clump of cells, “a heavy period”, and the young scared women dont even REALIZE the GRAVITY of what they are doing!!!!!

good lord has EVERY woman had abortions? this is sad and horrifying.

Well there is apparently a ton of catholic women who have had abortions and they left heartbreaking comments on the above article and are showing a level of insight and awareness and thoughtfulness and remorse that I find appropriate. in other words they learn their lesson eventually, it just might take 20 years of grief and pain.  and certainly makes many women even MORE batshit crazy.

but yeah great comments. and i certainly dont hate these women. I feel sorry for them and I would probably forgive them and GOD in his infinite mercy has already forgiven them.

In fact, these “post-abortive” women might be our strongest warriors in fighting against abortion. for example, when you say youre a catholic, no one takes your anti-abortion Screeds serious, but when you say you’ve actually had an abortion, then you have a better chance at reaching them and changing their mind!

so in other words, women who have had abortions might be the best anti-abortion activists!

therefore, lets encourage all women to have at least one abortion hahahahahahahaha.

I shouldnt have to mansplain  moralsplain GODSPLAIN why that is a bad idea hahahaha.

if a woman were willing to tell me she had an abortion though, I wouldnt automatically cast her out. I would appreciate the courage and the trust to tell me something like that. that is a tuff thing to tell people. but I would want to have a deeper discussion on how she feels about it now, how it has changed her, how she views life, and what she would want to teach her children. in other words, has she suffered and changed and become pro-life. or does she had no remorse, no regrets.

everybody sins and does bad things. me too. and it sucks that women are so available, in NEAR OCCASION if you will, of such a god damn horrible sin, and are told by everybody that it isnt a sin, then they have to come to terms with that sin, and live with it the rest of their lives! the guilt would drive me crazy too! and it is my male privilege that I will never be in near occasion of that sin!

so yeah i dont envy women. really satan tempts women a lot more than he tempts men. thats why he went to eve before adam hahahaha. women are more easily corruptible. you can literally plant sin and evil in their womanly uterus so they can become Mothers of Sin And Evil hahahaha.

also see plenty of men praying for help with their Struggles with Pornography. good for them to realize its a bad thing and there is no reason to ever look at it.

someone in that patheos article commented that abortion is wrong not just because it offends god, but because its just plain bad. like smoking cigarettes is not just a way of disobeying your parents, but it also gives you cancer. thats WHY they forbid it. and its exactly why GOD Forbids Abortion. even if there was no god, and as an agnostic, there might not be, abortion would still be horribly wrong. this is the kind of Moral Intelligence I want WOMEN to show.

its easier for nonreligious people to say that Murder Is Wrong. But they have a hard time saying Abortion Is Murder.

it really is one of the biggest moral issues of the day. thats why us religious fanatics go so crazy about it. nonreligious people should be going crazy about it too. smart nonreligious people often rightfully conclude that it is horrible. like my buddy millennial woes.

how did i get so obsessed with it? not sure. like I said, once anyone starts really thinking about it, they should reach the same conclusions! but Evil Forces in our world try to convince everyone Its Not A Big Deal.

lets play what if again hahaha. what if that woman confessed to me she had an abortion. well I would be shocked and appalled but also humbled that she trusted in me to tell me such a secret, deep, dark thing. but I would also want to have the courage to have a deeper conversation to see if she learned an important moral lesson from it……or just forgot about it as an unpleasant part of her past. would she do it again? or was she changed for the better? becoming a pro-life warrior who would never do anything like that again? or was she trying to push down the guilt? would she feel any guilt at all? would she do other abortionlike things, like abort a person in a relationship, like me? would she deal with the Consequences in a mature, courageous manner, or just run away and try to forget? But overall I would forgive her, and appreciate the Intimacy and Trust needed to tell somebody that, like some women never tell their children or friends or family. so i’d appreciate that. but i’d also want to know, what did you learn? would you ever do this again? surely you have to have an opinion on it NOW.  either you’re an unrepetent sinner hellbent on murdering babies, or you recongized the error of your ways and have VOWED to NEVER do this again. theres no middle ground on something so egregious.

of course the pro-choice people paint it as something not egregious at all. so yeah you DONT have to be all MORALISTIC about it. its a nuanced situational choice that must be made dispassionately.

or the woman who had to have TWO abortions before she came to jesus hahaha because she didnt really learn anything between the first and the second. didnt do any serious reflection.

I was frustrated that That Woman seemed unwilling to do Serious Reflection on Serious Things……like our Relationship. and what I meant to her. and my Pain.

just THINK about it. don’t IGNORE it.

and i think this is a similar thing many women do with abortion. they dont WANT to think about it too deeply, because what they find might scare them. so just get it done fast.

who writes the contracts for contractors? I would HOPE that an attorney writes the contracts, because I know Contract Law is a big deal. but I’m not a lawyer. or a contractor. Maybe they just use template contracts from Nolo.com or avvo.com or robert shapiro.com . contracts written by contract lawyers, but you just buy a book of them for $50 rather than pay a real lawyer $400 an hour to write your contract for you. seems like a good way to cut costs goy.