had semi interesting dream featuring woman1, aka woman2003, the first woman I ever went crazy for. she was not the best choice but probably not the absolutely worst choice either. i dont know how slutty she really was. ultimately she had probably been with less than 10 guys, so thats pretty good. no children. college student in Fine Arts, hahaha. she was basically a Hippie and A Painter. Recipe for Batshit Crazy yeah I know. Kinda weird that I fell for a gurl with that personality, I never really did again. But she was nice and friendly and energetic and not super bitchy, not mean or grumpy. and she liked to take MJ and listen to some of the same music I did and was partially in muh social circle in 2003. now she was very cute and maybe established me as a Leg Man, and indeed, That Woman might have been somewhat similar in body shape.
anyway in the dream we were spending the night in the same house but in two different rooms, right next to each other. ideally I wanted to go into her room and make out and cuddle with her all night long. hahaha. but I was aware the more masculine thing, and which women would more prefer, is that I march in there like a conqueror and pound the shit out of her ass like a real man, then maybe I could get some of my precious cuddling afterwards. But I had to establish my dominance as a masculine conqueror, not a sensitive feminine cuddler.
so I went in there and was not nearly as masculine as I should have been. She was friendly to me but she did not see flirtatious or inviting in that way.
Now this is problematic for me, because I find “flirtatiousness” to be overly sexual and SLUTTY. I honestly don’t know how a woman should signal more-than-friendly interest in me without seeming slutty. I am perfectly happy with women being warm and friendly and nice to me. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean they want to get pounded by, or even make out with you. i wish it did, though, because I find actual flirtatiousness to be too slutty and degenerate and pornographic! but maybe that’s MY problem, and I just have accept that It Is What It Is.
this is my problem with Tech hahaha. the users of chrome, a big name browser made by one of the biggest tech names, are pointing out a pretty common sense feature request since 2012 at least which has not been address by the company. the best support and response we can get is from an Asian “subject matter expert” who is probably making 1 dollar an hour if that as a contractor for google. and who doesnt really know shit and gives answers like “we aren’t aware of any feature that does this, if you can’t find one, then it probably doesn’t exist.” thanks google support employee. but realize this is the answer being given to them by their level 2’s in a chat room. and you arent allowed to speak to the level 2’s.
well could we escalate this and double check for sure? could we submit a formal feature request to the well-paid american google employees?
the feature request is to have an auto-logout of the chrome browser when you close out of chrome.
because you can connect the browser with your google account, basically to import all your history, bookmarks, and PASSWORDS on any computer or phone where you use chrome. home, office, anywhere.
but say you don’t want somebody at your office like your boss or IT Dept SysAdmin to get access to your gmail and facebook and neet virgin despair blog and banking and white nationalist forum hahahaha.
and say you forgot to log off your account from chrom before closing chrome. you know how it says your name on the little box in the upper right.
well, to really “sign off” from this, you have to go into SETTINGS and click on “disconnect my google account.”
ideally this option would be available when you click the little name box.
ideally it would give you a checkbox to be able to disconnect you automatically when you close the browser.
people have been asking for this since 2012 and probably earlier, and it is SO REASONABLE. how could this be too expensive to implement. yet google has given no response to it except a shitty response from an asian contractor making 1 dollar an hour.
PATHETIC. DISGUSTING. SHAMEFUL. This is the biggest tech company in the world, making one of the biggest browsers in the world. we arent talking about internet explorer here hahahaha.
is there REALLY something i’m missing because I’m not an EXPERT? where common sense is actually wrong because of something weird that only the super trained eye can see? well they are sure not attempting to explain it. and here i WOULD like an explanation. Have someone with a GOOD job (making 40 k a year or more) ATTEMPT to explain it to me. not a 18 year old asian gurl in Customer Service. the customer service should be better trained in the technology so they CAN explain technical things. I don’t blame these poor pathetic souls at level 1 customer service. i blame the managers hahahaha.
for those jobs, customer service is very important…..but so are technical skills. you can be nice and professional as shit but what good is it if you don’t KNOW anything?
and thing is, BOTH these things can be coached and trained and taught. but that takes TIME and MONEY companies are not willing to invest. its actually cheaper to contract a staffing agency AND offer a higher wage to new people……than it is to train/invest in existing people? so just fire the existing people? I guess so. if something doesnt make sense on the surface…..the reason is because its cheaper. cheaper in the short term. that is ALWAYS the answer. Note: what is cheaper in the short term is often more expensive in the long term. So why don’t companies seem to care about the long term? because you can’t have a long term without a short term. so cheaper in the short term is the answer for EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYYYTHHHIIINNNGGGG.
NEVER FORGET THAT. It will save you a lot of frustration and confusion and anger.
anyway, my dream.
I think I finally made up my mind to go in there and pound her like a man. she was still being just friendly rather than sexy to me, which as I said, i prefer. I wish all flirting were like this. I wish women never acted “sexy” because to me it seems very slutty. but unfort it is what it is, women dont operate like that. anywhere she took her clothes off which i guess is a good sign for pounding hahahaha. but her entire body from her shoulders down to like her hips were covered in weird colored body paint. i said ummm thats not a giant tattoo, is it? YEP! she responded. huh. so a large part of her body was covered in a permanent weird colors. great. mainly it covered the breasts and stomach area. in a way it was somewhat titillating, but it would obviously get real weird, real fast. great. this isnt what I signed up for. SO i decided I should Hit It And Quit It.
put as soon as I made up my mind to Pound Her Masculinely, she essentially faded away or kept disappearing. As by now the dream had been going on for a while and I was waking up and it was time to end. you know how dreams only last for so long then start fading out. then I woke up. no pounding her ass hahahaha. i had WAITED TOO LONG. SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.
but at least the woman in the dream was a different woman, and it rekindled my feelings for that woman hahahaha. well shit she is older than me! but I was very young then. she got a master’s degree and got married and hopefully never got above 10 and hopefully is loyal and loving to her husband and is having kids before her uterus dries up soon. i am assuming the husband is white because it’s a very white name and thankfully she took his last name. no hyphen. no space. no appending. just a full replacement. the way it should be, hahahahaha.
it would have been fun to go out with her for like 6 months and bang her 2000 times, hahahaha. but i was not manly or masculine or cool or confident enough. i was like a peasant gasping in awe before the throne of god hahahaha.
well the only time you should be doing that is when you are kneeling before the actual throne of god hahaha.
well EXCUSE ME because I have always INHERENTLY found something SACRED and DIVINE in the life-creating power of woman.
of course this does not help if they don’t respect and revere that awesome power THEMSELVES. and just give it away to lots of guys when they are young and fertile. like spitting in the face of god.
so this is a great song off the TON october rust album, a very very goth album but also my favorite of their very goth albums, but not necess my fav TON albums….but its def up there and was influential to me at an Impressionable period of my life. I was in high school and remember countless hours of listening to this album and writing and playing quake hahahaha. that was high school. getting stupid good grades, listening to TON, writing stories and journals, and playing doom and quake hahahaha. also I got into more degenerate hobbies like porn, alcohol, and MJ starting halfway thru high school. that was the beginning of the end.
anyway the song is a degenerate song about eating a bitches period juice (i think hahahahaha) and a lot of the songs on this album are very Worshipful of Women in a kind of Creepy Obsessive way, but it also combines that with the Strong Masculinity of Peter Steele. Like he would give the woman a good masculine pounding while also loving them in a drink their period blood creepy way. creating the perfect bitches in fishnets and black lipstick gothic 90s album. and this song captures that very well, while also being CRAMMED with great melodies and riffs. it has since become a bit of a fan favorite and they regularly played it live up to the end i think. It was also featured in the semi gothic vampire werewolf shitty movie underworld I think.
anyway I was thinking MY special calling would be to do a Raw Black Metal cover of this song, with Raw Guitars and drums, and blast beats, and either no or much more low-key keyboards. but that very rocking riff would be played very much the same way, perhaps to bring a “black n roll” feel. Maybe really draw out that riff and make it one of the main focus of the song. repeat it 1488 time with some blast beats some of the time too. probably keep some of the low peter steel style vocals. those could possibly be adapted to black metal.
not that type o neg has anything to DO with black metal! but I am a fan of both. that’s all.
that is my idea of creativity. not writing my own songs, but doing black metal versions of other people’s songs.
this is not inherently bad or uncreative! so I need to stop criticizing myself for not being creative enough. creative musicians are total degenerates anyway.
also TON were themselves known for doing very creative different covers of songs. for example on that same album they do a great cover of cinnamon gurl but one of my favorites neil young. however AT THAT TIME, I had no idea of neil young other than some weird old guy who hung out with grunge f4ggots like pearl jam hahaha. I didn’t really like the song. but within 4 or 5 years I was a huge neil fan, especially the album with cinnamon gurl. and I remain a huge neil fan, so it is great to come back to TON and hear cinnamon gurl with fresh ears.
also TON’s covers of hey joe and paranoid on origin of feces are just great. and yeah I guess summer breeze on bloody kisses.
they do a beatles cover on world coming down but i dont give a shit about the beatles. still. I hopefully never will. fookin beatles. LAME.
well you can find several covers of wolf moon on youtube. nothing black metal. looks like i have found my niche here.
like this qt russian gothic gurl who does piano covers of everything. you can also see her dancing like a gothic slut which I found titilating and had to turn off to avoid the near occasion of sin. also I lost respect for her because its not respectable for a gurl to dance like a slut. but i could tell she did not THINK she was dancing “like a slut.” but she WAS!!!!!!
these gurls might not like sluts, and might not think they are dressing or acting like sluts…..BUT THEY ARE!!!!!!
you shouldnt even THINK of having SECS with a guy you’ve known less than 3 months!
yet all the “dating” “relationships” I’ve had with women have existed ALL within the space of 3 short months!
beginning, middle, end!
meeting, dating, fooking, and ending!
rushing through the relationship simulator!!!!
this is obscene, monstrous, grotesque. go through the WHOLE thing, INCLUDING secs, all within 3 months. you should not be having secs within 3 months. you should be getting to know the person.
so really any time i can have a “rel” with a woman than lasts longer than 3 months…..its rare and i am happy.
its a ridiculous farce how fast this fake shallow relationship simulations happen. i cant respect women who do that. yet 50% of women do do that!!!!!!
just follow the simple rule of: never have secs with a guy you’ve known less than 3 months!!!!!!!!!! period!!!!!!!!!
this is what women USED to do, before they turned into degenerate garbage. so easily corrupted by da j00z.
ive NEVER liked this about women, even when I was a leftist feminist, and I liked her because she didn’t seem Like That, which was SO refreshing!
well of COURSE she didnt SEEM like that! she was in the middle of a very long-term relationship!
and this is how I like women the best. not when they are Single Sluts.
when they are single, they are short-term relationship SLUTS. NO THANK YOU.
how about waiting 3 months before fooking a guy, ya single sluts?
because sluts are good for only one thing, and its not DATING!
so many people have tattoos now, including dumb women, that it takes a REAL badass to NOT have any tattoos!
be like, hahaha loser idiot, i don’t have something stupid and gay permanently inked on to my body! sucks to be you!
i mean, it’s really not my place to judge a person…..but when I am essentially auditioning people to be my wife and mother of my children, then yes I am sort of entitled to judge them, hahahaha.
the standards are a bit more lax for my friends. I have had male friends who have had tattoos or who indulged in degenerate sex with sluts. i assume they grew out of these youthful phases eventually. well i mean you can’t erase dumb tattoos. you can do super expensive tattoo removal though.
tattoos. jeez. talk about a great SIGNAL eh. signaling, I am a stupid slut who you absolutely don’t want for a wife and mother of your children.
well some people on TRS (ie, decent people who have good values and whom i trust) tell personal anecdotes of they got married to a single mother and it worked out all right. she is a good woman who just made a mistake when she was young and had a baby with a deadbeat asshole. she has been agood wife to me and we had 3 kids of our own and the other kid loves me.
I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. im just saying its a big risk because 50% of the time you’re gonna get a psycho bitch hahahaha.
well isn’t that just the same as all women in general? 50% of them being shit?
well how many women who have had 900000 abortions are shitty? only 50%? hahahaha
you see what I am getting at here. as a group, single mothers are less desirable than women without children. just like women who have never had abortions are more desirable than women who have had abortions. 25 year old women are more desirable than 35 year old women.
measuring out 16 grams of peanuts to make 96 calories. it is a tiny little handful which you could easily eat all in one gulp. then know you can only eat 14-15 small handfuls of peanuts all day and that is the amount you are supposed to eat hahaha.
having secs with a guy before 3 months means you dont take your role as LIfe Creator seriously and that you dont take human life seriously and would probably get an abortion. or ruin your husband’s life without a second thought, and feel no guilt. to be a life-destroying sociopath.
sex before 3 months is an indicator of evil, murderous sociopathy!
THIS is why I don’t like women. hahahahaha.
and it takes a SPECIAL women for me to respect and like her. and I found her. until it ended so badly wawawawawa.
yeah well i just liked her because women seem like nice decent people when they are in long term rels. and then they seem like stupid evil crazy whores when they are single. therefore i should avoid single women and only try to date married women. make them cheat on their husbands hahahaha. obviously this is shitty.
I should have just stayed away from her at the very beginning. because she had a longterm bf. and WHAT KIND OF WOMAN goes making new male friends when she has a longterm BF? would I want my “GF” or wife doing that? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!! but that makes me controlling and jealous. because I dont want my wife to have male friends. SHE SHOULDNT WANT MALE FRIENDS. If I were married, I wouldnt want female friends!!!!!!!!
well its DIFFERENT with women and male friends. women cant just have female friends because EVERYONE KNOWS women dont make good friends but men do.
so why do the women have male friends? because their boifrans are the stone cold men of steel that they luv and who fook them hard, but they just dont listen or talk or show them any interest, so they get that from their male friends?
yep you got it!
so you’re saying women need at least two men?
why can’t they just pick one man who does both things?
because that man isn’t SEXY!!!!!!
but for men, they will certainly be happy with just one woman! the one same women to provide the Secs, as well as to provide the LUV.
why do women separate Secs and Luv so much that they need SEPARATE MEN to provide EACH????!?!?!?!?!?!?!
ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!!!!! DEGENERATE!!!!!!
women werent ALWAYS like this!! so therefore its not necessarily female nature. this has been brainwashed into women by da j00z, and it can be brainwashed OUT of women by Us Huhwytes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dunno. even when i was really close with that woman, we never had a real in depth discussion about Sexual Morality. I knew she didnt like sluts and she didnt like cheaters……..but how low of a bar is that? cant I do a little bit better than THAT???? No not really, because just look at me hahahahaha. huge loser omega male. neet virgin.
never had an in depth discussion of if she had casual sex, or how pro life she is, or if she really understood the power of her own uterus.
I have never not been nervous when doing a secsual thing with a woman, and I would PREFER a WOMAN who gets NERVOUS about secs too. you SHOULD BE NERVOUS.
A woman who doesnt get NERVOUS about sex, has had TOO MUCH SEX. Pump and Dump ONLY. Replace with a more moral, life-respecting woman, rather than a goddam murderous nihilist sociopath!
50% of all people arent worthy of the responsibility to create life!
for a long term relationship, men look for women who would be good mothers.
for a long term relationship, women should look for men who would be good FATHERS.
this just makes SENSE. basically our main goal is to CREATE LIFE. and our ideal partner to create that life with, is someone who presents themself as a potential good mother or good father. because to be mothers and fathers is what we were put on this earth to do.
go to church. everything just seems very cramped and crammed where I usually sit. i dont like people sitting right in front or right behind me. its all just too close.
this weird albanian or greek or some kind of foreign old man sits directly behind me, as he has done several times. he spends the whole mass making sucking and slurping noises, like he is sucking his teeth. it is very annoying. when he is not doing this he is muttering or whispering something the whole time. i dont know if he is saying prayers in his native language or what.
then I thank GOD I am not as weird and senile as him. nonetheless its very annoying to hear him slurping and smacking and whispering for a whole hour. i had the urge to spin around and punch him in the face hahahaha. i was distracted by this extremely autistic, extremely skinny young man sitting to the left of me. now that guy was WEIRD. he will NEVER get a gf or become a father. Pretty sure the weird old annoying man behind me has children, I think I’ve seen his ugly son and his hyperactive grandson with him sometimes, hahahaha.
so how come women have babies with men who would not be good fathers?
because theyre NOT THINKING. they just go and play the life creation game with any sexy man, because they FORGET that sex creates life. then they get stuck with an oops baby and the deadbeat runs off.
so I thanked GOD I wasnt as weird and pathetic as these people. maybe I can reproduce with an average woman. MY problem is, I WANT above average. but I am below average hehehe.
like That Woman. She was well above average. somewhere in the top 50%, if not top 35%. out of my league. I need someone more at the 65% percentile. or maybe 35% percentile is what I mean. meaning, 65% of women are Better than this woman, hahahaha. just like 65% of men are better than me, hahahaha. in the mating game at least.
what do they do with the buckets of spit wine that the tasters spit out at wine tastings? just buckets mixed with 9000 different kinds of of spit backwash wine. I GUARANTEE you there are MILLIONS of homeless , desperate drunks who would be CLAMORING to drink this wine. now that’s desperation.
now im desperate and needy for a woman….but I wont go after an ugly 40 year old. I seem to still have some standards or self respect hahaha. I have self respect but no self confidence hahaha.
the top half of women are attractive, the bottom half are not. Being as I am not really an attractive man, I do not deserve an attractive woman. And she was an attractive woman. good looking, young, no children, nice and pleasant and kind and likeable and not obnoxious, bitchy, or slutty. she had a real pleasant attitude, which women don’t have any more, and i can tell you, western men are DESPERATE for this type of “feminine, ladylike” woman. she has the qualities that men are ordering mail order brides for. kind and caring and nice and sweet and motherly. you dont want to punch them in the face and scream YA STUPID WHORE at them for being so blatantly obnoxious and disgusting. she will have no trouble finding and keeping a man. now the onus is on her to find a good one, and not a badboy who will cheat on her or dump her. but that is her tragic flaw, she has a weakness for Badboys.
i just dont like thinking the best woman i will ever know has VEHEMENTLY rejected me in a way that says I am disgusting and horrible hahahaha. not a good confidence builder. i would totally bang a young cute slut just to build my confidence but of course i should never date someone like that.
im also assmad that she will replace and forget about me, a LOT quicker and easier than I will replace and forget about HER.
How can she be THAT great, and how can I be so replaceable and forgettable?
honestly. i am not THAT lame and worthless! i honestly am pretty kewl if you give me a CHANCE!
and she was starting to give me a chance to really get to know me and show real interest and care for me, which is very rare for a woman to do for me!
so yeah I worry about how hard it will be to find someone who….wont necessarily REPLACE her, but wil be GOOD enough to make me FORGET about her, hahaha. someone new that I get along with really well.
someone i get along with really well, and is good looking enough for me to want to cuddle and make out with. this does not happen every year!
being forced to work on a stupid failure of a project by stupid out of touch management
quite simply, i just don’t really LIKE any women. FORGET about like like, i’m just talking about like!
well thats not true, i enjoy this one woman I see at my weekly social event. because she is a good moral person, actually has a good sense of humor, is pleasant and nice, is very very low number and innocent. unfortunately I have known her for about 4 years and have never been really close to her and I have never found her very attractive. somewhat stumpy and potatoey. she never went out with men because she was a low number prude. i liked that. eventually she got a BF and it became long term and serious and they will probably get married. good. anyway he is a good guy and I like him too. But I am not feeling like ooo damn should have made a move on her. dont feel any regrets there. I am just happy she found a decent man. not a badboy, but he does have masculine confidence and charisma. the perfect blend. really a good choice for her. anyway she is more successful than me anyway haha. makes more money.
Agile programming says real programmers dont write documentation? documentation is for idiots that need their hand held and arent real programmers.
i hate this shit. document document document not for your other programmers, but the lost souls who have to SUPPORT your shitty bug ridden nonsense software and actually have to talk to people. write documentation for THEM. they dont know how to code. they dont even know how to use your program.
really i just want to smoke MJ. especially when i am sad and lonely. or stressed out hhahaha.
shit. you know who is very afraid of abandonment? not normies! but people with BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
shit. why CANT normies be afraid of abandonment???!?!?!?! abandonment SUCKS for anyone!
but i guess Borderlines are SO afraid of abandonment that they PUSH PEOPLE AWAY with their paranoid clinginess! and they get really clingy and obsessive, fall obessively in luv!
oh god that sounds like me.
well its not a pattern in ALL my relships. I dont do it with men.
also i never acted out against women really. i would be obsessed and clingy, but i kept it mostly to myself. like That Woman never knew how much I REALLY luved her. then she would have been REALLY scared hahahaha.
Rational Response: I never REALLY smothered women out of fear they would abandon me. I simply wanted her to hang out with me because I was concerned that she was avoiding hanging out with me. I wasnt texting her 100 times a day. At the height of texting, I was texting her once a day and took days off.