SECS IS MORE THAN MERE FUN

92

yeah loveshack and relshiptalk are all good. god bless them. and me. all of us.

well SHE is at no contact for 6 weeks and I am only at no contact for 2 weeks.

well if she SAW the email, then technically she KNOWS i contacted her. doesnt matter if she didnt read it! then we are both at no contact for 2 weeks. HA!

BUT if she BLOCKED the email and doesnt even KNOW i sent it…… diff story then.

anyway she is OVER IT. she was OVER IT in ONE DAY. meanwhile it will take me like a YEAR to get over it.

that means i Luved her LITERALLY 365 TIMES more than she luved me.

that is a pretty goddamn big difference.

unsustainable.

but yeah it IS a shock because we had a decent friendship, i felt like i knew her. we had COMMON VALUES and a common way of looking at the world. so its all the more frustrating that we could not communicate with each other about our rel. we could communicate about other stuff!!!!!!!!!!

thats the frustrating thing. we DID communicate very WELL on other stuff, like just talking to each other and becoming friends very quickly! but we could NOT talk about the problems in Our Rel!

I was willing! She was not!

yeah we had those areas we had problems communicating on. like talking about her rels with Men, and my Rel with Her. basically talking about her Rels. it was DIFFICULT for me. it was IMPOSSIBLE for her. so impossible in fact, she would rather throw the whole relationship away than TALK about it!!!!!!!

do i really want to be in a Long Term Rel with someone like that???!?!?

yes yes i do hahahahaha

because i know its not intentional, i know she is a better person than that.

unfort i cant MAKE her treat ME better.

i cant MAKE her do a god damn THING. i am totally HELPLESS here.

helpless helpless helpless helpless.mp3 hahahahahahaha

yes thats a neil young song. technically a CSNY song but it is all neil hahaha.

went for a third 2.8 miler, so up to 8.4 miles for the day. at 168.8 pounds from 169 the other week hahahaha

>tfw you have to Jog 8 miles a day to lose 1 pound per month lol

took a damn shower for the first time in 3 days hahahaha

REALLY? i was THAT annoying by being PUSHY for wanting to TALK about an obvious problem, that it warranted her cutting off all contact with me forever?

i think the best explanation is that she is AFRAID more than anything. she is straight up PARALYZED BY FEAR and nothing i can do can make her less afraid.

i only knew of one super beta orbiter she had, she would complain about him and try to avoid him too! i mean this guy was pathetic, about 10000000 times more omega than me. i cant remember what i told her when she told me, this was like 2 years ago. i said jeez why dont you just tell him str8 up youre not interested and you HAVE A BOIFRAN for gods sake.

I think she said he knows she had a boifran? and they all went out to dinner, her, her boifran, and this pathetic guy, and she thought that would send him the message. signals. it did not of course.

so i said just tell him already, i have a boifran, im not interested, sorry, and i cant remember what she said to that. something like oh god thats so awkward, probably.

well i was a lot closer to her than this weird beta orbiter.

i guess he was really anxious and mental. well i can relate to that!

he stopped liking her stuff on FB all the time but she did not unfriend or BLOCK him like she BLOCKED me!

BLOCKING says clearly she doesnt want to talk but says NOTHING about why:

does she hate me? is she afraid of me? is she afraid of the whole situation? paralyzed by fear and anxiety? she doesnt want to see me because it would be hurtful TO HER? her seeing ME is too hurtful? does that means she luvs me?

i swear to GOD i will never dump someone like this.

hows it so hard to write an email?

because she feels I would be able to “win any argument” because i am more Articulate and In Tune With Emotions than she is, so i would use that to Control or Manipulate her?

besides, even if she did communicate, i would prob still push her to Try To Like Me.

so that doesnt mean that all communication is useless!!!!!

i would have had communications with her about my feelings towards her, stuff like yeah i know its a bad time for you but is there any possibility. lets at least get this in the open cuz its KILLING ME and you need to know and i need to tell you cuz its KILLING me. please halp it stop killing me and lets put it on the table and see if we can live with it.

obviously we could not!

93

terrible dream last night, and also very little sleep after staying up extremely late to watch ridiculous movie on TCM, steve mcqueen in “an enemy of the people” which was an ibsen play and he was intentionally playing “against type” but looked great with long hair and long beard. but the movie was confusing and wasnt sure i liked it or even understood it.

then horrible dream. i was with the woman and a man supposed to be her most recent lover, where that ended badly for her and broke her heart late last year.

so three of us there. i was sort of touching her and being loving to her and not sure if we were Making Out, but she was indulging me, cuddling with me not super passionately, but i was desperate and loved it. the bad boy boifran was chilled out and did not care, was not jealous in the least.

then a short time passed and it was time for her to “switch over” to him, i guess the understanding was that she would alternate her attentions back and forth between me and him.

she was immediately much more passionate with him and jumped on him with some kind of lascivious, salacious, tongue thing, and then it got pretty weird, like them licking each others faces like animals and spitting on each others faces and mouths in a crazy and sexual way and she became a Wild Sexual Animal, and i had gotten none of that, but sort of wanted it.

I think I got angry and then spit on her, and then they got angry, and i said “WHAT, you guys are spitting on each others faces, why can’t i spit on the back of her head?”

when the idea was, they were spitting on each other as some weird sex thing that was getting her all hot, and i was spitting on her in disgust and anger for her being way more into him than she was into me.

and i got extremely jealous, in contrast to the other guy’s chillness when she was giving attention to me.

so i was hating because he got to spit on her but i couldnt. plus his spitting was different. also she WANTED him to spit on her and didnt WANT me to spit on her, so technically i was “raping” her in a way, doing something to her against her will. and i wanted her to want me like she wanted him.

then we entered into some weird “sex prostitution market zone” where it was legal and encouraged for people to sell sex services openly. I wasnt really into the idea and joking with her, oh are you gonna sell your body too?

and she quickly said yes like it was normal and no big deal for her to do that.

REALLY? i said, now shocked and surprised. EVEN ANAL?

there was a list of suggestions for Suggested Sex Services and Recommended Retail Prices, like regular sex, oral, anal.

and just as quickly and matter of factly she said yes, like she does this every day.

and i saw she was charging a Low Price of Fifteen Dollars for Anal Sex, and I said “Can I get in on that?”

and she said Yeah sure. but not in a Special way, but more like Well Any Paying Customer who has $15 can fook me in the ass, no big deal.

then i found myself being pushed into a sex zone, where i had no idea what was going on, i hadnt signed up for anything. also it turned out that some merchants were FILMING all of the sex and making pornography.

I might have prostituted myself to bang some attractive women, but i did not realize everything was being filmed. i said oh no i didnt sign up for this, her sleazy boifran forged my signature! he forged my signature! and then i ran out of there. the sleazy but chill boifran, and my female friend, had no qualms about selling themselves and being filmed on video. i ran out of there.

thats about it. it was basically disappointment and disgust in her being ok with being a True Whore;

and happiness when she let me cuddle with her;

and anger and jealousy when she gave more passionate action to the other guy.

she not only have much greater sexual attraction to him but you could tell she liked/loved him more too, and that the sex came as a package deal with that love, as it should IMHO!!!!!!!!

sex with somebody you love.

thats what i liked about her, is she never reached the stage many women do, where they separate sex and love, or even just sex and emotion, making sex no strings attached.

she would not have secs with a guy unless she at least LIKED him.

she would get jealous and upset if the man was distant or suspecting of cheating.

i think that is only normal! you SHOULD at least LIKE your sex partners and WANT to have an exclusive relationship with them, where they do not have sex with other people!

this used to be normal thinking.

but in the postmodern degenerate postmoral cesspool shithole world, sex means nothing, its just entertainment you do after your fulfilling career, or not so fulfilling career. but just mere FUN and nothing more.

she knew it was MORE THAN MERE FUN. i felt the same way, so i liked her for Sharing My Values about Sex.

honestly in the (LONG!) time i knew her, i never saw this value change in her. i only knew her to have secs with 2 guys, both of whom she had genuine feelings for. shit maybe she didnt even have actual secs with that second guy, though that would really be pushing it.

and In A Crummy World were most women her age have Sex after the Second Date, and are Always Dating A New Guy one immediately after another, maybe several at the same time, that means they do not have Real Feelings for anyone, and are also having Sex with a Lot of People, who they dont have Real feelings for.

i think this is sick and degenerate and SAD and I am seeking a Partner who agrees with me, and i think she agreed with me, even though she could probably not articulate it as well hahahahaha. which is also prob why she was scared to talk to me, because she knows i am 100000000000000000 times more articulate in Talking About Feelings than she is hahahahaha.

but she was willing to talk about feelings when SHE had a lot of herself invested, like with those two guys. THEN she would go all in and be willing to have those difficult conversations.

but NOT WITH ME. not when she DIDNT have a lot invested, and she had been deinvesting for months.

it was a SHOCK when it ended for me, like ripping the bandaid off.

it was no shock at all for her, more like an old wet bandaid just falling off already. she had checked out months previous.

i had not checked out. i was moving more IN. i didnt want to believe it was over. i would stubbornly fight to fix it. but she was already checked out.

anyway the SHOCK was so great for me, it took at least a month just to start to get past the SHOCK. now i can get into the REAL pain hahahaha.

that dream did not help.

i went on linkedin today and looked at that stupid world.

if you want to do good on interviews, read linkedin for 2 hours a day. see how your successful career “friends” present themselves. read the BLOGS AND ARTICLES by successful career people, talking about the Ideal Employee and Fit and Grit and Culture and Achievement and Success and Team Leadership and Work Ethic and shit. BRAINWASH yourself with that shit until you can speak that language fluently without even trying.

articles by strong independent career women in the career workplace. the inside story of the woman who worked at amazon and was misquoted by the NYT in the july 2015 story that amazon

 

“advice for the broken” from MUH BRUH Millennial Woes

how did i miss this vidya

good comments as well. would like to see him do vidyas like this…….2 videos a month or more hahahaha. his political and social commentary is of course very valuable but i like his Personal Growth material as well.

great guy who has also been in the abyss of despair, has known true luv and heartbreak, and actively fights degeneracy and communism hehehe. if i lived in scotland i would try to meet up with him hahahaha. well if i lived in his actual town since no person is kewl enough to TRAVEL for, and this is of course why Long Distance Relationships fail, because humans are disposable and replacement, and you can find Just As Good a Replacement Friend/Lover who is Closer Geographically 2 U

ok yeah but reading that linkedin stuff  i thought these people are not my people, i would never fit into these jobs, THIS WORLD, even with people i was/am friends with.

but the best is seeing peoples little sisters who are 9 years younger than you being successful and normie. hard working normies who have 10 different jobs throughout college and then get a good entry level career job right after college and you remember when they were a preteen hahahaha and now they are a bigger winner at age 22 that you are at age 30-35 hahahaha.

good times man

time for a 2.8 miler before it pours rain

B4NGING IS GOOD 4 MENZ HEALTH

sun nov 30 2014

and if i get rejected, well, it can only get a little bit worse, because i’m allready all in, i have nothing more to give or lose, except muh hope, hahahahaha.

and if i get rejected, well then i just work on my game to bang b1tches, , and life goes on. oh well. its not cancer. not a death sentence.

but yeah that would be diappointing. wow. disappointed in wimmin, well at least i have PLENTY of experience in that hahaha. what else is new.

was shia lebouef raped by a woman or a man. was he coerced into sechs by an ugly gurl, or was he full blown raepd up the 4ss by a man.

anyway. just play it cool. be cool. don’t be clingy or needy. less contact, less texting is BETTER.

and then when i get my chance, be decisive, be masculine, put it all out there, go all in. in a masculine, cool way.

and do likewise when you get a chance like this. and if you don’t like anyone, then be happy, because liking wimmin SUCKS. then just enjoy neckbearding on the internet and having contempt for everything. ohh how i long for those good old innocent days.

anyway, when a man bangs a woman, it makes him more masculine, imho. makes him feeeeeel more like a man, to do manly things like take risks and work and make gains and win and etc. so, banging is generally good for MEN’S HEALTH.

is it good for women’s health? with greater conditions. if they are in a monogamous loving traditional rel with a man, yes its probably good for her health, and give her oxytocin to bond with her man all the more strongly. but banging does not make women more feminine/healthy, as generally as it makes men more masculine/healthy.

if anything, i’d err on the side of caution and say it’s BAD for women’s health. unless in the context of a monogamous healthy rel with a man.

here’s a great epigram/sound bite i read on 4chan over my vacay:

“BLACK LIVES MATTER…………ONLY WHEN THEY’RE TAKEN BY WHITE MEN.”

hehehe that might be a little too /pol/ 4 U, but it’s just pol enough 4 moi!!!!!

albums are too darn long. 40 minutes is more than long enough for an album.

and even that’s too long to start off listening to the album. i can only listen to about 20 minutes max of an album unless i luv it.

therefore my anecdotal evidence proves a scientific fact: listening to the same album for like 18 minutes WILL be boring.

maybe even 15 minutes. heck, 10 minutes.

took a pwalk. very pleasant day, warm.

at my old job i never got nervous. at my current job i get nervous almost erry day. because i never know what i’m gonna get next. never know if it’s gonna be something i know, or don’t know. or if the person is going to be upset or chill. all that uncertainty is nerve wracking.

yeah, so education, work, career, life, and women have always been a struggle with me. i have always been a bit of an outsider in everything, all the time. well, thankfully it has been possible for me to make male friends. but everything else has been super hard, super struggle. education, work, women. with education and work i have made nominal gains and achieved the bare minimum at least: college, fulltime job. (not a college job though.) but with wimmin, i have not achieved the bare minimum of a steady ladyfrand whom i like. although at least i’m not a virgin! bretty damn close though.

i am all in already, so i really don’t have any more to give. i am just waiting for The Final Showdown, before my opponent shows their cards. usually this just takes a few seconds in an actual card game. but here it will prob takes months. and that is nerve wracking. anxiety producting.

anxiogenic hehehe.

we live in SUCH a DEGENERATE society!!! It’s sad and angering.

i’m moving to fooking MONTANA.

http://pastebin.com/3CJhzrrr

apply to over 25 jobs, r9k, hehehe

you can write a letter to the gurl u are hopelessly in luv with

“dear fatty, just give me a chance please. you don’t have to decide right now. it took me a while to get these feelings for you, a couple prereqs had to happen first, here’s what they are, and then after that everything clicked. so i am more than happy to wait if you think it would help. if it wouldn’t, and you’re just gonna jump on as many dix as possible right now, i think that’s a horrible idea and that will totally lower my respect of you, and would greatly damage our frendship MUCH more than me developing Like Like Feelz towards you.”

MAKES MOAR SENSE TO BE A RACIST THAN A SEXIST

nov 29 2014 saturday

 

any. cold turkey right now is good. obviously i wish i could spend my vacation cuddling and sechsing her, but i can’t make that happen right now. so i will spend muh vacation reading 4 chan and writing tripe and listening to music and sleeping and powerwalking and buying silver and fatass pantz.

think i will go to church on saturday so i can sleep in on sunday hahahaha. of course still cut out early and have another scenic drive and powertalk.

1965 washington quarters are NOT silver. 1964 washington quarters ARE. 90% silver.

later

went to church, took scenic drive, wore new big pants, hooray

bought a new winter coat at kohls.com for 60 bucks. i sort of needed a new winter coat but did not want to go out to the store with all the degenerates and amerifats so i took a gamble here. worst case scenario i can take the coat back to the local kohls and return it.

anyway i guess i don’t REALLY NEED a new coat, because my previous coat is not broken….it just looks like sh1t with a huge gash in it and white filling stuff bursting out, and it is too small.

regarding the coat, i almost bought it yesterday but thought it would be good to SLEEP ON IT, any big decision is worth sleeping on one or more nights. today i was like yeah i should buy that coat if it still is “on sale.” and it was.

ok going for powerwalk. ok did that.

i have not been interested in a degenerate gurl since 2008. for 6 years. pretty good mang.

i have only officially dated two gurls out of The Eight, and they were both degenerates.

However no more than four of the eight were degenerates, so i think that’s pretty good too. if 5/8 were degenerates, that would be cause for concern, that i am picking the wrong wimmin. degenerates.

 

HEH. if i had just been more persistent and brave and manly when i was a boy and first getting interested in gurls. just had some balls when i was like 12 years old. like the second i got interested in gurls, just grew a pair and went up and talked to them, and got my rejections out of the way then, until finally i would succeed at like age 13 or 14 or something.

yeah but i did totally make out with a gurl when i was 14 or 15. i just thought it sucked because i was trying to make out with her friend, not her, and i got inordinately butthurt by that, and was like fook that b1tch for screwing up my master plan, then i didn’t make out with a gurl again until i was 21 who i also lost the Virginity to. so weird man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway thats why i’m so OBSESSED with WIMMIN. if i had just banged more gurls when i was 16, like a normalfag, then i wouldn’t be thinking about wimmin so much, other than that they are crazy and stupid of course, but i’d be banging them, hahahahahaha.

anyway. it is much more natural and normal and sensible and reasonable to be a RACIST than it is to be a SEXIST.

in other words, it makes so much more sense to dislike people of another race, than to dislike women. (well, unless they’re women of a different race, hahahaha.)

which is why i’m more of a racialist now, and less of an MRA/MGTOW.

it is unnatural to be turned against women. whereas, it is only natural to be suspicious of other races , and to want to protect your own race.

4 chan. 4 chan is MY PEOPLE. especially pol and r9k. my 2 fav boards. i dont even go to b. just pol and r9k all day long.

though i am more of a normalfag and less of a virgin than the r9k neet virgins, however i’m not as alpha as the pol high test alpha males who are currently sechsually active and who have regularly banged 7/10’s and above and maybe even had a legit gurlfran once, and are not total sperg coward strangers to normalfag human intimacy, hahahahaha.

sunday nov 30

welp back to WERK tomorrow. slept till like 11 am, super late. i think it was the fact that i went for 2 powerwalks yesterday, and had no valium or nyquil.

also i wanted to point out that it seems more gurlz play vidya games now than ever before, and brag about how they sit at home like neets and play vidya all the time, but i hypothesize this doesn’t help the odds of r9k neet omega virgin males any, and that these Gamer Gurls will still flock towards the Masculine, Alpha males in the Gamer Subculture.

That’s just the way women ARE. don’t hate them for it. just become more masculine and alpha.

U R STOOPID 4 REJECTING ME

nov 28

smoke w33d, listen to music, maybe some black metal, and write on the internet. wow. the perfect night. looks i am the total r9k virgin amirite? no but see i hung out with a frand before all this, hehehe. and talked to him semi coherently about music before coming home

and now listening to music.

cuz i think i took 3 puffs here. perfect would be 1 or 2 puffs right.

welp good thing i don’t have to go to WORK tomorrow. although i prob could. ideally i would take a 3.2 mile powerwalk right NOW.

how do you make wimmin like you. well you give them a break and dont text them erry day, hehehe.

well it was fun smoking that w44d, wish i had just smoked one less puff and thus been a little more cohernet.

next day

yes i am thankful for seeing my frand and it was also fun smoking than w33d.

vacation!!!! today do some internets, powerwalk, etc. try to not think about female friend. i actually had a DREAM regarding the old woman8, IE the woman I just took out of woman8 position because i never really tried with her and never even really hung out with her, she just began haunting my dreams years later. well i had another dream. yeah i probably would try with her if i lived anywhere near her! but she lives like 70 miles away. too much. might be able to deal with that if you’re already in a pre establised rel, but uhhhhh i’ve never even hung out with this woman, haven’t talked to her in 9 years.

so yeah, she’s not woman8 any more

how does a normalfag with normal rejection nonsensitivity react to rejection? and then model yourself afer that. they say, damn b1tch, what’s YOUR problem, i’m awesome, you rejecting me is STUPID, you’re STUPID, damn. whatever, i don’t have time for STUPID people, see ya.

and that’s that.

so that’s the approach you should dfeinitely take, thats my official recommendation.

maybe i should read r9k for advice!

no, i dont need to do that.

stupid for rejecting me, i don’t deserve to be rejected, and i’m sure as f00k not gonna hang out with or try to hang out with stupid people who reject me!!!!!!!

the end. period. full stop.

but its amazing how our Toxic Mainstream Culture tries to condition us against our nature, and in many cases…..it works. nature is overcome by nurture. i still say they are 50/50.

and that is why people are so anxious and schizo nowadays hehehe. and mentally cray cray.

get a plus certified. i have been meaning to do this but keep forgetting. it can’t be THAT hard.

http://certification.comptia.org/getCertified/certifications/a.aspx

it is administered by comptia of course.

uhhh i will take the test and get certified if it costs less than 100$, i get unlimited attempts, and can do it right now online.

http://www.comptiastore.com/Articles.asp?ID=265&category=vouchers

ehhh its not cheap.

suk muh dik.

muh erectile disfunciton.

i really can spell better than this, its all a typing issue, not a spelling one. i try to type too fast and therefore misspell words. but i KNOW how to spell them correctly i can assure you.

but yeah when i smoked that w i could feel the huge resevoir of anxiety threatening to take over. either you get chill and silly, or you get VERY nervous and anxious, and that stuff was right there.  shoulda taken one less puff, but i am very thankful i didn’t take one MORE puff.

hehe i luv 4chan, 4chan should be my job

“jooz are not even human”

http://pastebin.com/rLr93kbE

/r9k/ daily letter thread – write letters to ppl who will never see them

http://pastebin.com/SKAS2ffJ

later

went for Scenic Drive, recorded Power Talk during, went to store, got gas, got some snax, they had my pantz on sale so i bought a darker brown pair of classic fit Khakis, flat front, this time slightly bigger, with expandable waistband as well. yes. this is the best way to do it son.

they might be a little big but i can always wear a belt, and of course i would be. because you need extra comfort if you’re wearing the pantz for 12 hours a day. come on now.

WHEN PRON IS OK

nov 27

No Contact, Erase From Memory, dig?

So I will….just try to survive one day at a time at my stressful busy hard horrible job; sleep a lot. grow muh beard to ridiculous mental illness length. read racist websites moar. go to bed earlier. go for moar powerwalks. powerwalk in the basement. i’ve gotten out of the habit of powerwalking because its so cold and muh job is so hard.

and jerk off to pron too, this is actually very useful and good for getting over bishes rejecting you. forget all the bad stuff i said about pron. yeah it’s still degenerate, but for getting over bishes, the ends justify the means.  and it’s not making YOU degenerate when used in that manner. its actually making you less of a loser, by HELPING you get over a b1sh.

but the ends justify the means, does not extend to DRINKING. don’t drink. just give up drinking all together. become a teetotaler.  whatever you don’t drink.

also do not become hooked on benzos or especially painkillers.

if you HAVE to do a drug, do w33d, but nothing else.

of course coffee and cigarettes are ok.

what about Food? eating so much Comfort Food you become a huge fatass! I….can’t sign off on it. Because becoming a huge fat4ss is ultimately gonna get in the way of your Pulling Pvssy Goals.

I guess it’s still better than drinking though.

hehehe /pol/ should have sexual intimacy be a basic human right

this is why i luv 4chan hehehe

http://pastebin.com/BMwNvYHm

maybe i should save up $300 and bang a 7/10 hooker, hehehehe.

later

i had some NYQUIL so i took a dose of that. nice. haven’t done that in FOREVER. haven’t really had a good opportunity to!

nov 28 black friday

no shopping for me thank you. f00k that its for f4gg0ts. i should really do a little GAMBLING because at this time of year, peple may be on vacation, i’m kinda on vacation, so there will be more FISH at the casino for me to make money off with my above average intelligence.

uh if something is a volatile market, you might be able to make money by buying stuff and then FLIPPING it. like buy 90 dollars worth of bitcoin and then sell that same amount for 100 dollars.

this would probably involve an exchange like btc-e (???) rather than a service like coinbase, which would prob require that you sell the btc RIGHT NOW for cash, rather than place a sell order and wait till it gets to that price.

well the problem is then getting your USD from the bitcoin exchange, and getting hit with like a 7% paypal fee.

well i already have an account on btc-e, and about 1.00001 litecoin, so i just put in a sell order for that litecoin, to sell for BTC, to try to make a 10% return on that, then i could just transfer the BTC to my coinbase and get the USD that way.

i just bought 20 dollars worth of bitcoin.

AND i just spent 58 dollars on SILVER

nov 28

this is the one good thing about having a job, is that you can buy nice things for yourself and others during the holidaze.

today went for 1.6 mile powerwalk in the cold, came home, took a NAP like i was unemployed. it was great. migth go for another 1.6 pwalk, it is too cold to do 3.2 all at once, and i need to get muh pwalks in beofre i become even moar of a fat virgin.

note. if it is below freezing and you have to wear a scarf, leave your Eyeglasses at home because they will get covered in Fog from your breath. unless you really need the glasses to see.

downloaded a bunch of new talks form my fav 2 guys.

backed up my funny pictures to the google cloud.

i am over 30 years old and still don’t know how to buy clothes that fit. or how to pull a mate, hehehehe. short term or long term.

poland dindu nuffin

http://pastebin.com/1a7GEKTv

he was a thug: michael brown, black lives matter, etc

http://pastebin.com/rdAHF7MB

random stuff found on /pol/ on nov 28 2014 hehehe

http://4archive.org/

4 chan needs an official archive

hehehehe

so i did go for a second pwalk, and yes it was cold out there. but really i am happy just to have all these days off

SEARCH TERMS FOR ALL TIME ENDING MAY 17 2014

may 17

this is a cheap post, feel free to skip hehehe. wanted to share a pastebin like record of all muh search queries:

Search Terms for all days ending 2014-05-17 (Summarized)

All Time

Search Views
wizardchan 28
honey nut feelios 14
fedora atheist 13
autismbux 11
neetbux 10
mikko aspa interview 4
feelios 4
how to stop being neet 4
losers in fedoras 3
atheist fedora 3
mikko aspa 3
how to stop being a neet 3
fedora+atheist 3
4chan wizard 3
mgtow 3
20 yr old kissless virgin fear 2
official virgin age meter 2
wizardchan 4chan 2
slang ” be fedora faggot” 2
how to i stop being a lazy loser? 2
know that feel 2
virgin age meter 2
stephen ilardi pornography 2
ajahn brahm depression 2
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ONLY WERK IS REAL

may 17

do they have chatrooms any more. i would suggest hanging out in a chat room of successfuls where they talk about how how they became successful, hehehe. especially regarding work and skool. kollige and kareer.

and social skillz and wimmin. how to make friends and influence people and network with people of influence and get them to do influential things for you like give you jobs and introduce you to wimmin and money and clients ie money sources. revenue generators. income streamz.

maybe a message board. imho 4chan has the best message boards, but i haven’t read in months, and they didn’t have anything career oriented back then. they should. cuz jobz are the only thing that matters.

ONLY WORK IS REAAAALLLLL.

more important than skool, more important than wimmin, more important than friends and family. prob more important than yer higher power. WORK is the most important thing in LIFE.

hehehehehehehehehe. obviously i do not believe that. if i did, maybe i would be more of a winner!

wimmin do not impress me. i doubt i could ever fall in crazy life changing luv with a wimmin ever again, unless she were YOUNG, real cute, AND had a real good personality. if anything my standards have gotten HIGHER as I get older and more desperate, hehehehe. how about u?

not sure if i AM more desperate, though I prob should be, just because it has been SO LONG.

When I was young, I would get Lonely when going through long dry spells (i.e., always!), but even though I’m still on a huge dry spell, I don’t feeeeel nearly as Lonely any more. Pretty comfortable being alone. just have no energy, drive, or motivation, hehehehehe. but i don’t get super lonely thinking about grills at least. well i felt bretty bad after girl7 rejected me hehehe and that took at least a year to get over! and i still have dreams about grills 1 thru 8 about twice a week and that sucks.

how about u?

ummm. anyway.

what was the one thing where i diverged from the path of being a winner; the FORK IN THE ROAD where I officially started becoming a loser?

ummm it was between ages 18 to late 20. let’s say a few months after I turned 19. then i stopped giving a f00k about skool and declared a useless major. when I should have started skool with a f00king useful STEM degree. yup. let’s just say 19. at that time I started smoking w33d regularly and my grades in skool dropped, and my interest. officially began just trying to skate by with minimum effort, in a useless degree, smoking w33d regularly. yep, it was 19 or 20 that i officially became a loser.

well i have made some positive steps since then. i quit drinking and have not “relapsed.” i smoke like one puff of w33d once every two years. i took like 70 skool credits that were less useless than what i took in college. i got a better job. so there, mfer.

heh. don’t “disqualify the positive” and over magnify the negative.

i have gotten better at talking to customers. i am quite a bit down from my peak weight. i am sort of trying to fix my loserness by taking meds, talking to a shrink once every 3 weeks, regularly powerwalking, writing this blog, trying to heed signs from muh higher power, trying to overcome my loserness.

so it doesn’t matter than my career sucks and i can’t pull a decent wimmin, hehehehehe.

no, it really doesn’t, in the face of those improvements i have made.

how about u.

but weird. just a few days ago i was feeling pretty bad, like I was really near “my Bottom.” Rock Bottom. heh. I would have to be doing a lot of drugs/alcohol to reach rock bottom.

well, maybe i’m at what rock bottom would be without drugs/alc!

ummmm maybe, maybe not. i would have to be homeless and have cancer to be at rock bottom! and have no friends! and not even have a job to be laid off from! and fatter!

but yeah. i was thinking. could you get it up to a woman you weren’t really attracted to? like say when gay guys get married and have children. you have to get it hard to penetrate a wimmin and dump a l04d.

I actually worry than an ugly woman would force herself on me, and then i would get hard just from being touched by any woman, even an ugly one.

well, the good news is that i could not possibly get hard consistently. maybe the first time i would get excited by the novelty of it, but not consistently enough to get sucked/trapped in a rel with an unattractive wimmin. hehehehe. yeah i am a huge lookist, i admit it, i don’t mind it. would rather be a lookist than a nonlookist.

basically, could you Get An Erection simply from being Touched by Another Human, kind of like when you sit on your hand to make your hand fall asleep so then when you beat the meat, it feels like another person doing it? (“THE STRANGER”)

again, like i say, maybe the first couple times, but ABSOLUTELY not something you could do with any regularly, for the long term. so, couldn’t possibly trap you into a long term rel.  WIN.