(june 2014)

and also to chronicle the life of a loser as he struggles to become a winner; to help winner normalfags truly understand the pain of Severe Depression, Anxiety, and Feels.  (aug 2015)

JULY/AUG 2015:

I have experienced an absolutely devastating loss of both Love and Job; the greatest Love I ever had in my life (out of a total of maybe 6 loves); and the loss of the best-paying most Bigboi Job I ever had in my life. I am at Rock Bottom, and stuff has not been this bad since 2008-9; and before that 2003. this is a Big Bottom. if i can survive this, anyone can survive anything. I had something of a nervous breakdown in July2015, following/concurrent with a severe heartbreak, and QUIT muh job, and now have to survive going back to Start on the Job Search after a Quit (worked in office every day WITH Love Interest, otherwise prob would have not quit job!), AND also the worst heartbreak ever. A Double Whammy Rock Bottom, in my Early Thirties. Biggest Loser I’ve ever been. Since at LEAST four years BEFORE this blog first began several years ago.  When the Going Gets Tough, the Weak Sensitive Sissy Losers Roll Over and Die. I don’t know how I’m gonna get over this. Shit Is BAD. This Is THE END.

I will be chronicling my everyday pain and struggle as a way to Show Solidarity, Share, and Testify. Some of us may have Normalfag Family or Friends were are privileged enough to have Support and Care for Us. THANK GOD for them! This kind of moral support is much more important than having them understand us. UNDERSTANDING is too much to ask for. They don’t really NEED to understand us. BUT, HOWEVER, if anyone ever WANTED to understand, here it is: what it really looks and feels like from the Inside, At Rock Bottom, Living with Crushing Depression, Anxiety, Loss, No Confidence, No Inner Resolve, being Desperate for a Loving Monogamous Long Term Man-Woman relationship but never ever experiencing it; being desperate to be an independent, upper working class ADULT, and never quite getting there; longing and desire and desperation. Anxiety and Depression so you can’t even think straight and hold down a job. Feeling true, real love for someone you’ve never dated, greater love that many normalfags have for their husbands/wives. Deep, intense emotions that sidetrack our lives and make us Miss Developmental Milestones.  This is a chronicle of all that, a Refuge for the Lost and Heartbroken and Devastated, that if I can build myself up from this, so can YOU.


MAY 2014

OK not as much gambling reports since I have slowed way down, possib because it did not appear to be profitable for me. will report if i start gambling again. might have just been a phase. ANYWAY I am also treating the Fedoras & Race Intro pt 4 page as an unofficial “intro” page because that is the most popular page, but you should still read this page too. MIssion of this blog is same as it was a year ago when I started: to help losers become winners, and also to Share my store of a Loser Journey and Working to slowly, gradually, become a winner step by step. forget about the politics (although right is better than left, hehehe.) especially forget about Race (although Race Probably Exists, and every race is entitled to its own interests and self-determination.) maybe forget about Religion (although theists, gnostics, and agnostics are all way better than atheists.) But maybe don’t forget so much about Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Besides, a person could say be a Leftist Atheist and still be a huge winner, and have people respect him and take him seriously, because being a winner makes people take your Politics, your religion, race, your opinions, all the more seriously, whereas if I, as a Huge Loser, say anything about those things, it casts doubt on those very ideas themselves because of my OWN “illegitimacy”, being a loser, ALTHOUGH I argue being a loser should NOT impugn your “legitimacy” re your opinions in the public square. but it does, because people respect winners and disrespect losers, and that will prob never change. so we must change from losers to winners. that’s what this blog is and always will be All About. First Principles.



OK, so now about 30% of this Blogs Mission will be about Gambling. Specifically, playing No Limit Holdem, and how to improve your (my!) playing style from Losing to Winning. Not even winning a LOT, but just being able to Win a LITTLE but Consistently. I Love to Gamble (Low Stakes) but my play sucks right now, I’m losing. My goal is to win back all I’ve lost, and then continue winning. Join me on this journey and I will share what I’ve learned….or I will get Out if I haven’t turned things around by the point of losing X00 bucks. Also, gambling is a fun way to try to make money for lazy losers who can’t get or keep a gainfully employed middle working class 12$ an hour collegeboy fulltime job! And it would be nice to make a LITTLE money at something we ENJOY!

I’m still a little racist, I am still pretty darn rightist, not that all rightists are racist; also I think I get along with people not of my race, better than most antiracists get along with people not of THEIR race, because they segregate themselves into gentrified hipster masters degrees communities where the Nonwhites are as Progressive and Nonviolent and Noncriminal and Professional and SWPL and Naive  as the Whites. GET A REAL JOB AND TRY LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD!


NOV 2013:

Not sure if Post 4 is the most popular page because it’s where I announce that I’m A Little Racist (which I also do on this page), or if it’s the most popular page because it has a couple pictures of Fedora-Wearing Atheist F4gg0t wirgins.

But just to make things perfectly clear so I am 1000000% HONEST with all of You: I am A Little Racist, I laugh at Racist Jokes, I think Stereotypes exists because there is a Kernel of Truth in them, AND my political views are On The RIGHT. I Am A Rightist. I Am A Conservative. That’s Just What I Am. I try to make this blog Apolitical, but just realize a little bit is gonna slip in once in a while, and Leftist Losers are duly warned that the person who is trying to sincerely help them is himself A Rightist. I don’t turn Leftists away mind you! I will just not apologize if their sensitive widdle weftist feeeewings are huwt by my man-talk.


OCT 18 2013:

Dear Wizards of Wizardchan, I view myself as being On Your Side, although you prob disagree, and that my “implication” that You Need Help is condescending, patronizing, you don’t need help, you’re fine the way you are, you’re HAPPY being a socially inept unemployable virgin.  Well to be honest I haven’t read /v9k in a few months, exactly because the general tone was very Depressing, so to my mind that implies that you are NOT happy!

I do not post on wizardchan, I am much more an r9kfag. I don’t post on r9k either! not a big fan of engaging in internet discussions, much more interested in One Way Blogging ATM.

So I kinda view Wizardism as a blend of Social Anxiety, Depression, Autimsm/Assburgers, Avoidance, Omeganess, Low Confidence, repeated Failure.  I have experienced some of that and I can totally understand how someone can get to this point, but I am THANKFUL I am not at that point myself. However I am not at a great point, and the Protips I give can be helpful to myself, to big losers, to little losers, to r9ks, to v9ks, to ANYBODY. Basically Common Sense Tips and Cognitive Behaivoral type stuff. Not Computer Science.


MAY 2013

WARNING: I use VERY offensive “hate speech” on this blog, namely “f4g” and loser.

The first 14 or 15 posts are intended as an Introduction, so if you read all those it will give you an 80% idea of what this blog is about.

So just start at The Very First Post and go forward from there if you want! Or start at the newest post and go backward.

Basically helping people Achieve Their Potential though Hard Work and Staying Motivated. I am on that journey too, and would like to help at least one reader.

“DEPRESSION” would prob be the biggest keyword, but I don’t like that word, and will also explore the nuances. Maybe we are not “depressed”, maybe we are just horrible, awful, lazy people who don’t deserve to live, hahahahaha.

No I do not encourage Suicide. If you’re feeling SUICIDAL, then call a help line or go to the emergency room.

I try to keep a light friendly funny tone. This is SRS BUSINESS but we don’t need to take it TOO seriously, and who doesn’t enjoy a good laff from time to time.

I am a White Man and I write from that perspective, and predict this stuff would be most relate-to-able by other white men. However if you are of any other Identity Group and find it useful, well more power to you, I don’t want to stop you.

Just Know That I AM A LITTLE RACIST. Not A Huge Genocidal Violent Racist, just a run of the mill little racist like everybody used to be back in the day.

It was perhaps reading lots of 4chan: /r9k and /adv; and especially Wizardchan /v9k, and learning about Kissless Virgins and NEETs and Wizards and Autismal Virgins and similar ForeverAlones and Feels Threads, that may have been the final impetus to starting this blog. We can Fix You!

That and I have struggled for years to Achieve My Potential, and to motivate myself to Work Hard and Be Somebody. Feelsbadman.jpg. I really need to Make Actual Changes, and hopefully by dispensing patronizing advice to people even more hopeless than me, I can help myself AND you.

Writing and Blogging is huge for me. I would like to have a Separate Avenue for these “FEELS” because they are starting to Creep Into my Other Blog, which I will probably not mention here, and this one I will prob not mention there. Although some astute l33t hax0r types might already be able to connect the two. Just keep that info to yourself, PLEASE.