wed jan 17

june 13

wewlad. took a benedryl immed after coming home from easy but not-real job. around 445 pm it really started kicking in. dont usually take benedryl on Job Nights but today decided to.

was in okay mood until i Botched some friendly small talk at the VERY END of the day regarding job search and job goals and felt retarded and inferior because of that. because the guys son is going to be a successful engineer and his daughter is going to be a successful medical professional and i, the screwup, had screwed up.

but he was really just making innocent small talk and had BETTER things to worry about, like his college age children.

felt bad reading the DS prostitution thread, that That Woman was the best woman i’ll ever know, average women are WAY WORSE, i cant even pull them on tinder because i don’t have an average job. and when i do get an average job, its just a MATTER OF TIME before I SNAP and QUIT. can’t HOLD DOWN a job. i am DISABLED and WEAK.

see the stream of HORRIBLY NEGATIVE thoughts, one after another? not just kinda negative, but really really really negative, cutting to the Core of your Being?

ideally i would be doing Physical Training right now so I couldnt be thinking these thoughts!

well i am going for a powerwalk in a bit. also the benedryl has really made me too TIRED to think ANY thoughts.

basically its better to do ANYTHING than to think HORRIBLY negative thoughts. better to take benedryl and slow all thoughts to a crawl and take a nap in the middle of the day. than to think you are a worthless loser.

its ok to think WOMEN are worthless losers. because 90% of them are.

THOSE thoughts dont actually BOTHER me NEARLY as the ones about ME being a worthless, weak loser.  which i kind of AM, but REMINDING myself of it isnt really HELPING.

hehe negative thoughts lead to negative feelz hehe.

QUOTE from prost thread:

memestrum 18h
An important take-away: do not over attribute meaning to sex.

To a lot of woman: it’s open legs, penis goes in and out. Next!
I’ve over heard women scoff about men who think it’s any more than “just boning”

I know two (2) young men who have hung themselves over break ups. I know the woman in one of those situations: I heard her and her friend scoff and laugh about it. Her friend was also a friend of the young man. They laughed, called him a looser. Makes my eyes tear, just to think about it.  END


I was “in love” once. It’s living a lie. It’s convincing yourself to be totally vulnerable because a soft woman is cooing at you, and smiling, and fucking you silly, and buying you amazing gifts.

But it’s lies, because women only ever LARP. They play loving girlfriend and wife for the same reason we scratch a dog’s tummy to get its leg going. It’s not about the dog, it’s about our amusement. [me: when men rub a dogs tummy, its moreso about we are happy because the DOG is happy. it is much more Other-Focused. The Joy of Giving.]
Women pretend to love a man, and get off on manipulating our bodies and feelings, but it’s never about us. We’re a toy, a distraction. And like a child becomes bored with a favorite toy, she becomes bored with you.

Love is what I felt when I thought the tummy rubs were because I was as special to her as she was to me.


june 14

had dream last night with a woman from the past, woman2, a qt young jooish gurl from my youth. in dream she was being very interested in me. flirting with me, being nice to me, touching me, smiling at me. these are what i call “feminine charm” and what makes a woman Fun to hang out with. Anglin says any man who enjoys the company of woman must be a homosexual. i get what he’s saying, and certainly too many women are boring bullshitting bitches too much of the time, but i think when they are NICE To you, its pretty nice. and its not just a matter of having ot suffer thru 10 hours of her babbling about bullshit while you want to blow your brains out. yeah thats a very real possibility, but there’s also this other reality: where the woman is being NICE, and FLIRTY, and making you feel like a Sexy Interesting Man. I KNOW women can do that when they want to. they did it to ME a few times, by GOD, and I never forgot it! fook no i don’t remember the conversation, because it was small talk at best, and complete bullshit at worst, but all i remember is that positive feeling!

so in the dream the gurl was giving me that feeling. but almost going overboard with it, doing stuff that was not appropriate in public, like grabbing muh d or putting her head down on muh D when we were in a public place. the principal of my high school was there and he looked right at us with an i do not approve, control your bitch face, and I was like yikes, I respect this man and dont want to disappoint him.

on the other hand, i do really like that this qt young gurl is so into me.

but i do wish she were less slutty about it. i didnt know whether to attribute it to her being a slut, or her being a joo.

so i was like that’s great babe, but do you think you could be less BLATANT until we get in private? and then I will bone you with the fury of 900000 suns?

and then she was very offended by that, and turned off her interest immediately, like a light switch, and was ice cold to me, and turned on that interest for the nearest chad. who was not far away at all.

or if she didnt do that, that was the heavy implication and i immediately feared itbecause she gave me a look like YOU DUN FOOKED UP NOW. THAT WAS YOUR ONE CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT.

main point: it CAN be fun to hang out with women when they give you that Feminine Charm, but its CHILLING how quickly they can turn that off, and how easily they can give that to other men. you’re not special at all. they do this to every guy they meet. it’s easy for them to do this. it doesnt make you special at ALL. VERY soon she’ll stop doing this to you and start doing it to other guys.

so that sucks hehehehe. in that sense they have all the power, of when they give you interest, then that certainly does give you warm fuzzies, happiness, and confidence, then they turn off that interest, and that whole house of cards comes falling down. never base your sense of confidence on a woman’s approval/interest. NEVER.

easier said than done hahaha.

either i was having fun with women during that brief time they were showing me favor, or i was very upset when they STOPPED showing me that favor. I never felt that feel of sitting there while a woman is talking and just thinking “oh god shoot me how much more of this do i have to take before i can fook this bitch.” never. i always enjoyed the small talk, not because it was profound, because it certainly was not, but because i enjoyed the Flirtation and Indicators of Interest the woman was giving me.

that, or i really really wanted the Friendliness they showed me to be something MORE.

that, or i was actually ok with being just friends with them. until that feeling changed over when they became single for the first time in years and decided they would rather fook negros than even consider me hahahaha.


Capt.Trollbait 10m OceanView
All you need to know is that the jooz have weaponised your bodies, minds, and souls against us, and that we’re angry and sexually repressed and unemployed and have been told we are inherently evil our whole lives. The reason the male/female relations topic is such a big deal is because when you strip a man of his ability to feel love and acceptance from the female members of his racial family, it makes him feel utterly hopeless. This is not a good situation for anyone. Now we’re doing something about it.

Don’t worry, when you see us marching in the streets you can go back to not thinking again.


empathy and cooperation is not feminine, its masculine. men work together in teams well, women just bitch at each other like bitches

andrew anglin. my HERO. man of the year 2017 ehehehehehe.

other men of the year have included: MW definitely, possibly weev, possibly mikko aspa, possibly mindweapon. and anglin, like MW, there is no possibly. this is for sure.

weev is probably probably. i mean weev is great.

QUOTE When all you’re good at is deconstructionism, everything looks like a social construct.
That sentence perfectly describes 20th century J00ry. END

all quotes are from DS BBS unless otherwise specified hehehe

QUOTE from actual article by zeiger:

Even if this program of systematic child abuse doesn’t turn boys into actual homosexuals, it’s sure to turn them into weak, effeminate beta-males who will be incapable of being attractive to women or taking control over their own lives.

And they know this, of course.

This isn’t about “helping” boys. It’s about completely destroying masculinity, in order to even the playing field for girls. END

DS is pretty much the perfect “blog” because its like heartiste gone full 1433 and in support of Traditional Morality and not blatantly supporting degeneracy, but also FULLY recognizing what degenerate animals women are, and calling for STRICT, EXTREME CONTROL of them, BUT towards the end of healthy, strong hwyte families. which is the part heartiste doesnt focus on enough.

“Whiteness has already been constructed against blackness. There is no virtue in whiteness, it is inherently violent” say antiwhite phds making 150k a year as FT profs at big skools, tweeting shit like this from antiwhite conferences.

my blog exists simply to give you muh fav threads and quotes from DS. this is why AA is the man of the year. give him money!

oh yeah. i wanted to say. so you know how you are ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO DECIDE where to go to dinner (or wherever) with a woman. you ALWAYS MUST pick the place.

thats FINE. I’m happy to DO that. but then I thought, sometimes I really “have a taste” for, for example, this curry dish I get at the thai place. whereas, other times, I really want some chicken wings.

Now, what if I were a woman, and I really wanted the thai place, but My Man put his foot down and said NO we are going to the chickun place, and the whole time i would be Silently Stewing because I wanted thai curry.

would it be considered BETA or WEAK or generally SPELL DOOM for your Rel, if… said were going to the chicken place. then your gf stamps her feet and say but i wanted thai curry! and then you say yeah I really dont care, if you thai curry thats fine, i could go for either one, i dont have a real preference today, and it sounds like you do, so i could go for some thai curry, no problem with me. because you genuinely DONT HAVE a preference at the moment. and you do enjoy thai curry.

would she dump you one stike and youre out, for CUCKING and BOWING DOWN to her and not being the MAN, for listening to her?

i honestly dont know. but it is exactly the tupe of thing i would worry about. because its exactly the type of thing to happen to me. I dont have a preference, though i KNOW im SUPPOSED to pick the place, so i ask the woman if shes got a preference, she does, we go there, then i look weak, and get DUMPED shrotly after. the end.

i guess the way to do it is, as you’re going out there, spin it to convince her that you really DID choose to go to this place.

also, are you asking HER if she has a preference? DONT DO THAT.

so what if she says, unprompted, no im not in the mood for chicken, lets go get thai.  and frankly, you dont care. you could do either. so should you go for chicken becuase its what you suggested, and to go with her suggestion makes you look WEAK?

i guess you could get thai, but let her know, this has nothing to do with her. say you changed your mind and you could care less if she changed her mind to the other thing. youre getting thai now and then you are gonna bang her so hard she cant stand up straight. and spank her for thinking of dumping you hahahahahahahaha. PROVE youre not a weak man hahahaha.

sven longshanks reading volume 2.

but yeah. just saying. some days i have a strong preference to eat something, then i go eat it and feel VERY happy. other days i dont have a strong preference what to eat and am fairly happy to eat just about anything. so how could this be used against me by a damn woman hahahahaha.

also. they say you can differentiate from Emotional Eating from Actual Hunger Eating, by imagining, are you really hungry to eat a plain piece of chicken right now. Basically, plain baked protein. a plain piece of baked chicken or fish. if that sounds BLAND or MEH, then you’re really not actually hungry. like if youre thinking yummy fried crispy chicken wings. nope. or stir fried curry sauce noodles. NOPE. these would be salty, fatty, savory Comfort Food.