WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

mar 12

got up early on a sunday, couldnt sleep, had strange dreams i was trapped in some high rollers gambling competition where i couldnt get out. i also couldnt get in on the “free hookers” that were mingling around. it was like musical chairs and they were always all occupied. if i left the party early, i would either be killed, or i would be tied to the company permanently. i didnt want that, i just wanted to leave.

everyone else was having a great time, gambling and doing coke and opoids and banging hookers and were all wall street types. if you gambled wrong, you would be escorted out and killed. i would rather not gamble at all because it was so confusing. it was like taxes. you had to report the correct amount of winnings or taxes, and if your numbers didnt agree with “the house”, they’d kill you. no one else seemed to be worried. the gambling money was coming from some bigass wall street swindle by the jooish bankers and we were invited to gamble with this money stolen from peoples retirement funds. i didnt care about the gambling, i didnt know how i got invited, i just wanted to wait until it was time to leave, because i couldnt leave early, and maybe enjoy some opioids and hookers to pass the time, but I couldnt get ahold of either, though they seemed freely available to all the happy gamblers. i wandered around and asked an attractive hooker, wanna fook, and she said, only if i get to fook you too, how big does your asshole stretch, implying that she was gonna “peg” me with a brutal dildo hahahaha. i cringed and was like no thank you, not interested, i guess we shant be fooking then, hahahahaha.

lots of interesting symbolism and themes in this dream!

im like, i wouldnt MIND gambling, if i knew this money wasnt some Big White Collar Crime from hard working mericans, which was probably why the stakes were so high, and you were basically signing your life away. couldnt leave, had to stay with this crooked company for life, unless you stayed until the final round of gambling, which didn’t make sense, which made me less confident to try to gamble, because if you made a mistake in your self-reporting you’d be killed too. so i figured, just wait it out until the end of this long night while everyone else has fun, and maybe try to score some of the drugs and hookers that seem to be plentiful. but they werent, for me.

i was like shit i didnt ask for any of this. i’d be perfectly happy with some MJ and a 35 year old hooker and some micro-stakes gambling with my own money. how the hell did i get here.  i didnt sign up for this. this is horrible.

i still have weird jooish fetishes. like i will see a commercial with a woman i think is hawt, then look up the womans name, becuase these are not big name actresses, even if the companies are kinda big. acting in commercials is prob jus tone step up from porn hahaha. or from shitty “direct to dvd” movies or syfy channel movies nobody will ever watch.

so there is this booking.com commercial with this flustered female schoolteacher who cant wait to go to her relaxing mexico vacation. and when she says booking.yeah she looks really hot and i really want to bang the shit out of her hahahahaha.

maybe i like horse faced women, i really think thats it. mousey and horse faced.

heres a less jooish money shot picture

and i wish i were touching her body and plowing her and she was making the horsey o face hnnnngggggg

this is of course contrasted with her very mousey flustered self in the classroom

which is a whole other tangent, that teaching children isnt the wonderful career she thought it would be, which im sure it isn’t, but its also frustrating to see a woman stuck in a shitty career, and also frustrating to see a woman who doesn’t like children.

there are at least 3 different phases of hawtness when she says the one word yeah, which makes me think the woman has a lot of practice in manipulating men with her facial expressions to get them wrapped around her little finger, meaning that she knows many men find her attractive even though she’s 30 AND mousey AND horsey.

lot of things to unpack here hahahahahaha

be sure to read the comments by offended teachers saying this mocks their profession. not surprised to see those. it kinda does. kinda surprised the ad geniuses didnt say, this is really gonna offended teachers. maybe they decided that was a risk worth taking. because this ad will be gone in 1 month anyway and all the teachers will forget they’re boycotting the company.  and other people will find the actress hawt.  i was just trying to find her name so i could find more pictures of her and see if she is hwyte, or jooish.

the commercial was directed by jared hess who did the napoleon dynamite movie hahaha but cant find the name of the actress.

Who Is Sara Bynoe?

ok her name is sara bynoe, a “comedienne” from vancouver BC

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2045120/

she has a masters degree in creative writing hahahahahaha maybe she can become a part time college instructor

well i cant tell if shes a joo but shes definitely a degen with a filthy mouth who has probably taken over 20 cox. this little mousey horsey woman who in a better time would have been a 1-man woman and mother. is now out drinking and slutting it up doing a writing, comedy, and acting career. oh gawd.

there is some other thirsty guy leaving message on her instagram saying she is just so hawt and he had to find out who she was. looks like i have some competition!

she looks like she could possibly be some kind of nonwhite mix. bynoe. wtf kind of name is that.

Bynoe Name Meaning Origin unidentified. It is a well-established name in Barbados, and may be of Irish origin.
Source: Dictionary of American Family Names ©2013, Oxford University Press

barbados? irish? so youre saying she’s half black????

how can you not know if the name is irish or not. i thought the irish were pretty good about that sort of thing. unless they were too busy getting drunk and eating potatoes and having their women bang negros hahahaha.

and the sad thing is, to date a 30 year old woman who’s still attractive you gotta make at LEAST 60k a year. what do you think the average income is of the guys she dates? besides the charming young wannabe actors making under 30k who she has casual secs with hahahaha. might as well just be one of those anyway because this is no longer the type of woman you want to marry. Sad!

and there are already plenty of other guys just like me, who said, you know, that gurl in that commercial is hawt, who is she?

so yeah sara bynoe if u read this and want a REAL man to show you a REAL good time, let me know. by that i mean i will fook you HARD not like a wimpy sissy beta niceguy bitchboi fuccboi. i will tear you in HALF and LEAVE while you are sleeping.

maybe its because she SORTA looks liek That Woman? Both mousey and horsey? yet not stumpy, decent legs, big eyes, big mouth, horsey and mousey? i think this is just my type, not because she reminds me of That Woman. That Woman had better hair and skin anyway. and was probably younger.

horsey and mousey. i guess that kinda looks like the stereotypical female Schoolteacher right? but even a Schoolteacher would be out of my league because that represents a level of Career Success which is WAY above me.

Maybe a Sub making 13 bucks an hour, no bennies, no health care. but very soon these people will be too young for me. i mean you literally can’t be failing at your career FOREVER. you have to move up within like TEN years or else youre DONE. might as well pack it in, GIVE UP, and become an MJ addict hahaha.

she looks worse when she is wearing tons of makeup, but she no doubt thinks this makes her look professional and smart or whatever. nope. shoulda just got married to chad when you were 18 honey.

sad thing is, chad probably dumped her or worse cheated on her, and she’s spent the rest of her life trying to get revenge on him by living The Good Life. thing is, she hasn’t. she’s just become a worse person for it all. drinking, fooking, getting useless degree, being a narcissist F-level wannabe celebrity in vancouver only, probably has at least 2 cats in her apartment and drinks too much but still manages to pull alphaish men at age 30….but not for committed rels.

and to think SHE is OUT OF MUH LEAGUE! in GLR’s american average white men would be able to pull a woman like her, back before she had taken 20 cox and had 20 abortions!

even women that dont look like they would be huge sluts, kinda horsey and mousey, but also kinda qt despite that…….are still huge sluts that have been with 10+ guys hahahaha. like how that number keeps getting lower? well yeah because 10+ guys is still WAY too much!

but its a more REALISTIC number than 20…..which isn’t all that unrealistic either. 10 is even more realistic, but also UNACCEPTABLE. DO BETTER.

right now she would be great to use as a Practice Gurl just so you get comfortable and good at Fooking and at dealing with a womans bullshit, so you can pull a better woman later. but she’s STILL too good for you hahaha. you are not good enough to practice on a practice gurl, except maybe once, where you will prob fall in luv with her and never get over. never get over chad mcnormieton’s practice gurl.

also the fact that this drunk bipolar narcissistic catlady slut is better at Adulting than you, so what does that make you? she’s BETTER than you hahahaha.  you have no place to judge her for being a crazy slut because shes better at LIFE than you. more responsible, harder WORKER, better ADJUSTED.

shit if i had gotten more involved with Theatre I prob could have banged a few sluts like that, had them as practice gurls. but i never went in far enough with theatre to pull the theatre sluts. i guess its just as well because theatre sluts are not great people hahahaha.

i guess the good news is i dont have to go to vancouver to find women like this, they are right in my own town. and i can probably find one who is a 40 year old single mother who still looks bangable, and then bang them. that shouldnt be out of muh league hahahaha.

what the hells wrong with minnesota. you’d think it would be a nice hwyte state but for the past 20 years they have been importing more africans and arabs than just about any other state. stay away from minnesota and just go to montana or idaho instead. or eastern WA hahahahaha.

today i actually thought about well maybe i SHOULD contact that woman. nothing big. just a short message. hey how you doin. fishing basically. reopen the wound and try again after a long time has passed and she has gotten lower in value basically but i’ll never fully get over her hahahaha.

thankfully i decided no thats a horrible idea. but if i were drinking or doing MJ, i might think its a gamble worth taking!

yeah MJ compromises your decision making. logic, reason, etc. yet another reason not to do it. so i say, ok, then i promise not to make any big decisions while using it hahaha.

but when you are using it EVERY DAY…… arent you sort of ALWAYS under the influence of it?

OF COURSHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://archive.org/details/1966PlayboyInterview

1966 playboy interview with commander rockwell and roots/malcolm x biographer alex haley. he had already published TTTW and would be tragically assassinated in 67. he uses The N Word about 6 gorillion times hahahahaha.  thats fine, just wish he used the K word even more. i dont really use the n word all that much and am perfectly fine just saying negros or blacks. unless i am in the ghetto around a bunch of n words, and i try to avoid those situations hahahaha.

looked at adult friend finder to find 35 year old sluts for casual secs in my area. saw a bunch of degen pictures. and unfort you have to PAY to message or view anyones profile. 20 damn bucks a month. i would maybe pay 10 bucks a month. there were what appeared to be a number of bangable 35 to 40 year old sluts in my area. even some under 30s!

there were a lot of swingers/couples. no thanks! i mean yeah maybe ill bang your faithless wife but i dont want any pervert guys watching!

and god forbid any woman who was ever on this site wants to marry a man at any point! that should be on your wife questionairre. have you ever put yourself on an adult themed dating site?

i would go on okcupid but i dont want to see HER. so i can just exclude any women under like 27 hahahaha. but i dont really want to do that. i would totally bang other 27 year olds! shit i remember when she was 22.

i mean i could block her the second i see her. but i dont want to see her even for a SECOND!

ideally she would be so fat, old, and haggard i wouldnt even recognize her!

just remember. your perfect angel, who you want to be the mother of your children, is just a cheap slut practice gurl bending over and showing her asshole to sleazy strangers on adult friend finder.com and has been with over 100 guys easily. and you were FOOLED enough to want to commit your LIFE to THAT trash. how emotionally COMPROMISED can you GET? thats even worse than being on WEEEEED!!!!!!

or plenty of successful people have probably, over their lifetimes, ultimately sm0ked more MJ than YOU did!! and they are just fine!!!!

heh. its possible that women are more naturally suited to Motherhood than Men are Naturally suited to Fatherhood. so its all the worse that they go around showing their assholes on the internet for casual buttsecs with ruffians and opioid addicts and smooth talkin negroes.

maybe i shouldnt have looked at adult friend finder for even the 5 minutes that i did because it made me have a negative view of women as dirty whores!

but i was specifically LOOKING for dirty whores, becuase i’m kinda looking for a PRACTICE GURL to PRACTICE on, because if i found a GOOD woman, i wouldnt be READY for her!

dont get BUTTHURT at the PRACTICE GURLS, just manage your expectations of what they are and what you want from them! you’re not looking for them to be decent women! youre just looking for a little quid pro quo! this is like calculus 1 as a prerequisite for calculus 2.

well i could have just been more DOMINANT and that would have improved the situation, and i dont HAVE to bang practice gurls to become more dominant.

i just wish i had more of a natural urge to BE MASCULINE AND DOMINANT, the way women have a natural feminine urge to be submissive and be dominated by a strong man. why dont i want to be that strong man? well i KIND OF DO!!!!!!

on the extremely rare occasions i feel like a strong, confident man, it feels really GOOD. its not necessarily “DOMINATING” someone. maybe the word “DOMINATING” is a bti confusing. how about Strong, Confident Leader.  i have hardly any experience feeling like that that it feels weird when i feel it, which is hardly ever. like easily less than .000000000001% of the time. but i can safely say i would grow to enjoy that feel.

this weird guy i was acquaintances with last about 14 years ago suddenly emailed me with a weird brief messaging asking if i wanted to Hang Out. it is so weird i am thinking somebody just hacked his email and sent shit out to everybody he had ever sent an email to. people have hacked emails before.

if it is a legit thing, the nonweird thing to do would be to acknowledge the weirdness and try to act normal. but no. he seemed as weird as he ever was. he had a weird fixation on me but i hung out with him because i was lonely and felt beggars couldnt be choosers and it was only fair for me to him to hang out with him if he wanted to see me. this was 14 fookin years ago.

but he was a weird guy. not a BAD guy but i am 100% certain he had SOMETHING: borderline, bipolar, narcissism. He honestly seemed BORDERLINE!!! possib the only male i’ve ever know with it.  he’s not a bad guy, but he needed a shrink and meds even more than I did. Last I heard he got a bigboy job but found it unfulfilling and was drinking too much. this was many years ago. at least he was able to get a bigboy job. more than i ever could do.  i mean he was no dummy. he was smart, but possib more unhinged and weird that I am. whatever this kid has, its COMPLICATED. my shit is very simple by comparison.

so i quickly deleted the email. but then i thought, HOLY SHIT, what if this is how THAT WOMAN viewed MY attempts to communicate with her, and she viewed me as weird and crazy like i view this guy??!?!?!?!?!?!? I would HATE to be seen like that.

even though I dont hate the guy. I just want him to live his own life and get some damn professional help which i am not willing to give hahaha.

but want to think that we had a much more Two-Way Rel with me and that woman than I did with him, where he had more interest in me than I had in him. Indeed, it could have even been a latent homosexual thing on his part.

but i realy want to think that the rel i had with that woman was more natural and two-sided and mutual and HEALTHY and good than the weird “friendship” i had with him. i guess he wanted to be my friend but i didnt really want to be his friend.

maybe That Woman was my Karmic Payback of how I rejected HIM hahahahaha.

but i didnt really Throw Him Away. also i hate to think i was as weird to her as he was to me. i mean this guy was always pretty weird. he’s not a horrible person but just so goddamn weird. and i didnt want to be THAT weird to ANYBODY. especially HER.

my rational mind says, youre right, this is apples and oranges, it was a totally different situation, and no she didnt view you like you view HIM, or even if she did, at least I’m confident that i wasn’t THAT Weird.

so….we’ll conclude with that and i will get back to my poker and nazi book hahahaha.  and hope this was just a hack/spam.

i mean if not then he hasnt become any less weird in the past 14 years. i mean shit at least i have gotten better at presenting myself to others, playing close to the vest so to speak, figuring out how to seem at least somewhat normie.

my diagnosis for him would be bipolar, possibly borderline, possibly bits of schizophrenia even. i should be thankful i’m not that fooked up. but he can manage to Adult and get GF’s and stuff. but he would also be just as liable to throw all that away in some kind of psychotic break. it did not seem like garden variety anxiety and despair with him, like it was with me. yeah we are both nuts but in totally diff ways.

but yeah i dont want that woman to think i am a pitiful weirdo like that. id much rather she felt bad about her own immaturity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_L._K._Smith

GLR said this guy was the greatest speaker he ever heard

https://archive.org/details/meinkampf035176mbp

reading MK by AH changed GLR’s life, maybe I should finally read it too hahaha

the type of book that you cant stop reading, that when you finish it, you turn right back to the first page and read it again. i have never done this with a book. wont even do it with GLR’s book, and it is a topkek book.

GLR is transferred to iceland where he suggests that secs is very easy to get and the women are promiscuous as shit. so why did he fall for that icelandic woman. i mean really neet virgins should just go to iceland for easy secs with young whyte qt’s. what does he really think about their promiscuity tho? what would AH think?!?!?!?!

http://www.heretical.com/pubs/fabledh.html

i forgot GLR did the fable of the ducks and the hens, which i confuse with the fable of the scorpion and the frog hahaha

ok he did think they went too far: quote ” The whole atmosphere at Keflavik International Airport was evil and unwholesome, depressing and disgusting. I reacted by almost total asceticism. There was no half-way about it, as could be seen all around me. I refused to touch a drop of liquor. I went to only those parties which my position in the squadron demanded. I ran over a mile a day and exercised to keep in condition and I devoted myself wholly to study, thinking and writing.  ”

he ran A MILE A DAY hahahahahahaha to keep in shape. that is hilarious. now when most “runners” pride themselves in running like a damn marathon a day.

also his wife was bitchy to him and essentially dumped him, and he was heartbroken. he did not CHEAT on her with the icelandic woman. i dont know how big of a slut she was. also GLR officially condemns no-fault divorce, as he should, as any hwyte person should. i just wish he called them out on their jooish behavior not befitting hwyte men and women.

also he said that good liquor was very cheap. i thought everthing was super expensive in iceland. well i mean i am sure things have changed since 1951. but iceland is always an interesting country.

about 40% done with the book so far. seems like his icelandic wife is much better than his american wife, who he pitied for not being able to enjoy being a full woman. then his icelandic wife got very jealous whenever he said a tiny sympathetic thing like that about his ex-wife. he had 3 kids with his ex-wife and i think he had 3 kids with his icelandic wife. what happened to these children and their children?

also she was ok with him being pro-hwyte and anti-jooish. he was still a career military man but had been redpilled on the Jaycue by me1n struggle hehehe.

his first wife demanded $400 a month in alimony. in 1953. holy shit. and he didnt even bitter hate her. i would have for that! that would turn any man into a woman hater! but not GLR. he just pitied her.

the icelandic woman is still alive right now and like 88 years old hehehe.

commander rockwell, what a great man.

you shouldnt expect most people to understand the JQ. i would like if more people shunned J filth when they saw it though, just realized it it was BAD, not necess bc it was J’ish. they seize on bad things bc they know they can use it as weapons against the g0yim. make bad things look attractive: vidya, porn, drugs, try it, its fun and harmless, g0y. you’ll love it and its not bad for you. even though its worse than smoking.

mar 13

just waiting around to go to shrink and today i had decent epiphany:

WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

which, let me MANSPLAIN. a lot to unpack there. sure weve all heard this advice before. it doesnt matter what other people think about you. dont worry about it. who cares. it doesnt matter.

but thats WAY easier said than done, because in some cases, it really really really DOES matter!!!!

you are invested, connected, and attached to a person, and you care ALOT about what they think about you, and you HOPE that THEY care what YOU think about THEM!

you can see what im getting at here.

I really cared what That Woman thought about me. i didnt want her to think i was an awful horrible person. because then i might just BE a horrible person. her view of me mattered a lot to me because well thats what luv is, ya moron. you want them to think good of you. not bad.

and now im like, wait, doesn’t SHE care what I might think about HER? doesnt SHE care that I might hate her, or just be confused, and wouldnt that motivate her to try to clarify things for me?

similar to how i Reached out to Clarify how I thought she should think about me, i wanted her to reach out to me to clarify how she thought I should think about HER. doesn’t she CARE about that?

well no, because what i think no longer matters to her. and that hurts. my opinion USED to matter.

and now i have nothign but my own experience and memory to convince myself it wasnt a FANTASY, that there was something REAL. unlike me and my weird male stalker hahahaha. in his mind there was something special between us, but in my mind….i just wanted to avoid him hahaha. and is that how it was with me and HER???? GOD I HOPE NOT! i mean i really hope the that nice friendship we had before everything went wrong, was more REAL than the always-awkward thing I had with that guy.

welp discussed that with the shrink and yeah i mean i actually talked like a somewhat well adjusted normie. that yeah i am pretty much over That Woman but it did always bother me that there wasnt even the effort of any closure, but basically i wanted proof that i had a better “connection” with that woman than I did with that disturbed man who I now have pity for. he thinks me and him had some great connection, well we didnt. i think me and her had some great connection, well we didnt. WRONG. for a good long while, we DID have a pretty good connection. And I was very heartbroken by how she crapped on THAT. dont tell me this was worth NOTHING to you.

shit im sure it WAS worth somethign to her. but this is how people act when its fight or flight and they flee. its the pain of abandonment and avoiding. it’s well documented in the literature hahahaha. not even joo literature. but trusted hwyte philosophers like kierkegaard and plato say damn son that shit SUCKS.

ok. what, for example, did aristotle, plato, or socrates, or kierkegaard, or nietzsche, or schopenhauer, or heidegger, or will durant say about The Heartbreak of Abandonment? give me some quotes.

so i was able to convince myself that She Thought it all wasn’t just a fantasy in my mind. more or less.

if i were a WOMAN i would have fooked 5 guys and had 5 shitty relshits during this time. that is SO unfair to those poor schmucks. that she is just going through a fake charade with you while she is hung up on someone else! i have never and will never do that to another person! this is why you dont jump from one person to another! it doesnt work that way! and so I resent women for doing that. cant you see how unfair and wrong this is for the guy???? how many other guys hearts did she break during this time? 3? 4? 5? how can you cause so much pain? or maybe they caused her pain. it doesnt matter because shes out of my life. but this is what happens when you are in LUV and they DISAPPEAR. you CAN get SOME kind of CLOSURE thats better than this.

oh well. life goes on. but how come she cant send me an email out of the blue? i would totally get back together with her hahahahaha. then i guess im not over her. well, i said i was only 88% over her. i get “not wanting them back” only comes at 100% and not a second earlier.

maybe it was all a sign from GOD to turn me into a full-blown NATZEE! Like how GLR donned the svastica and declared, I am a full blown NATZEE and I dedicate muh life to AH, the greatest man of the past 2000 years!

i mean i’m seeing that AH is a bretty gud guy. and Really you don’t become a VVN “ally” without become a VVN “sympathizer” and essentially a full blown 1433 vvn.

for a few years i was like, yeah i dont identify as a vvn, but I AM open to their ideas, i don’t think there’s anything really unreasonable about these ideas, we should give this some space, it’s serious and valid and legit.

later I realized that by you acknowledging that, you are pretty much a full blown natzee anyway. if you dont think these ideas are horrible and evil and despicable, you’re a nazi.

so you might as well do what the blacks do, reclaiming the term MUH N199A, and we can reclaim the term MUH NATZEE hahahahaha.

and start proudly displaying the svastica publicly. very simple. get some armbands, buttons, bumper stickers, flags, put it on your computer desktop, put a picture of AH next to a picture of your family at work HAHAHAHAHAHA. that’s all you gotta do! no big deal.

why didn’t GLR’s first wife give him a break and say i don’t need any alimony from you because im a stronk independent woman? how much of the alimony was going strictly to CHILD SUPPORT? he did have 3 kids with her and hasnt talked about them much. shit he’s up to 5 kids now and hasnt talked about them much. maybe he was a horrible father hahahaha.

” But Thora had the faith of a saint. Even when I would get discouraged
and felt almost sure my gigantic struggle would come to naught, my brave little wife would put her arms around me, look me in the eyes, tell me how she believed in me and trusted me, and I would fairly burst with new drive and determination. She knew the age-old secret of women: how to inspire and fill a man with power he could never have alone, just by laying a gentle, warm hand on his check and letting him feel her faith flowing outward. How I loved her! I can never repay her loyalty and devotion. ” from chapter 9 or 10. GLR would get discouraged during the lean times and his wife would give him encouragement. BEAUTIFUL.

a lesser woman would have LEFT HIM IN THE LURCH and indeed his first wife did. shit he was entitled to be HATEFUL of her but he never was. That Bitch!

spencer tracy looks kinda like tom waits. or vice versa. i am the first person in the history of the world to notice this hahahahaha. therefore mr waits should invite me to hang out with him so i can convince him to stay away from n3gr0 and j00 music and get back to his more huhwhyte sounding music. he is a huhwhyte guy who can make jooish music sound less jooish hahahaha. i will not poo poo TW and his music. but he does have obvious nonhwyte influences and i dont believe he’ll ever be racially aware. believe me i would be thrilled if he were! some big scandal uncovers a secret natzi shrine at TW’s house hahahaha. this is all speculation, i’m not saying anything libelous.

actually, 90% of TW’s music is either black or jooish. this is a bit worrying. i really dont want to think about this too much right now.  i mean leonard cohen RIP was a total joo and i will always be a fan of his music.

irrelevant. on a tangent here. well no. because this is what joos do: they take good things and they SUBVERT and PERVERT and RUIN them. but not always. for example i dont think LC or TW are perverting or subverting anything. TW maybe. but i dont think he did it in bad faith jooish way. he was just being creative and eclectic. he married a hwyte woman and had hwyte children. he should have had more.

also i liked at least 3 or 4 of the coen brothers movies hahaha. still do. prob always will. (lebowski, raising arizona, millers crossing, and leave a space for one more. no country was OK but overrated. I saw part of a “a serious man” and it looked pretty good tho.) not gonna dump them like i did woody allen.

what about the marx brothers? charlie chaplin? old skool jooish comedians in the catskills and the borscht belt? does this even really matter anymore if henny youngman or joo jack benny had some good clean jokes that even a goy can enjoy without guilt?

charlie chaplin was a confirmed full blown commie kyke. a жид. GLR knew this and still enjoyed some of his comedy. doesnt make GLR a sellout or a hypocrite. i mean they still should all go in the oven because the costs outweigh the benefits and always will.

would you rather have a few funny marx brothers movies…….

…….OR A WORLD WHERE COMMUNISM NEVER EXISTED????????

shit yeah its important and relevant. its why all the women you know are such trifling, stupid, destructive sluts hahahaha.

but honestly NONE of the women I ACTUALLY know are destructive sluts. thats the fictional fantasy nightmare woman again!

also, my virulent hatred of women makes my totally reasonable, healthy hatred of DER EWIGE JUDE seem unhealthy hahahaha. hey im in a woman hating PHASE rght now. its actually subsided a bit. i did used to be a mgtow remember! and im getting better! i used to be a mgtow too until i became a full blooded NATZEE hahahaha. big improvement.

no william h macy did not DIE today, i guess thats a hoax. its actually his BIRTHDAY hahahaha.

he seems hwyte. i would hope my joodar is not wrong on him. lets find out hehehe. welp the jooish foward says he is not a J. i generally beleive joo sources when they say somebody is not jooish hahahaha.

GLR was a very good people person and was not afraid to go out and have Tuff Conversations with people every damn day.  well he did not kiss ass and lie to make you like him. he would tell you the hard truth. i know I would have gotten along with him well. i might not have enjoyed hearing the hard truth from him, having a man I admire telling me i am a huge soft loser…..but maybe he would be nicer to me because i knew the hard truth about the JQ that he did. and see that i would probably do well with a good leader hahaha.

i mean a man can be a leader and a follower at different times of his life. being a follower isnt INHERENTLY bad, the way being a slut and going thru a slut phase is. in fact, being a follower for a while might help you be a better leader later. but i will grant that the ideal man is a leader not a follower, and that leadership is one of the best, most masculine traits. but following is not inherently, always bad, the way being a damn cant keep your legs closed SLUT is.

but you know what you should hate even more than SLUTS? focus your disdain on the semi-organized effort by a certain group of people to turn our women into sluts. this helps them because it hurts us.

you might think hwytes don’t have any real enemies………..then you would be blue pilled AF, hahahahahaha.

pretty soon ill be going down to get the svastica tattoo on muh chest hahahahaha. only semi kidding, i hate tattoos and would never get one. but that would be a contender hehehehe.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WELL MEMED, MUH LAD!!!!!!

wish the dinner table scenes of that movie really set the tone for the entire movie hehehehe.

call me soft but theres no real NEED for the curbstomp. he could have just had a legally owned pistol, been like get the fook out of here boy, the negro could have charged at him like a wild animal, and then ed norton shot him with the pistol. the curbstomp is there to make him look like a SADISTIC MONSTER. well of COURSHE he is, hes a NATSEE, that is SYNONYMOUS with sadistic monster! same with ralph fiennes in schindlers list.

apparently leni riefenstahl recanted her pro-AH beliefs?? or somehow went soft on them. how soft? i mean if she was still pro-hwyte and anti-J that’s prob fine right? was hearing more about this woman hannah reitsch was a woman pilot and apparently a very pure and admirable woman and we should read her book.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanna_Reitsch

yes i know wikipedia hahaha

after the war: ” Evacuated from Silesia ahead of the Soviet troops, Reitsch’s family took refuge in Salzburg.[3]:202 Hearing a rumour that all refugees were to be taken back to their original homes in the Soviet occupation zone, Reitsch’s father shot and killed her mother and sister[3]:215 and her sister’s three children before killing himself on the night of 3 May.[12] ”

GOOD LORD

what i dont understand is why some people were tried and convicted at nuremberg but some people like reitsch and skorzeny lived in freedom til like 1980.

not sure if reitsch ever wrote a book. described as “naive politically.” hehehehe. how can a prominent natzee be naive politically hahahahaha.

mar 14

this stuff makes muh blood boil, one of the most triggering things evar next to slutty women. is joo york slimes articles advising anxious hwyte parents how not to raise racist children. its your duty to teach 3 year olds about hwyte privilege and institutional racism and to hate their race. i hate this shit. its joos saying yes you should brainwash your kids. its fooking CHILD ABUSE and a bunch of hwyte swpl prefessionals actually worry about this. not oh my kind might be a neet or a loser or a  pvssy, but that he might be a RACIST, so we need to actively stop this, and show him how he was born with the unfair advantage of being hwyte.

http://archive.is/mcjRJ

hmm cant believe there is nothing on daily stormer or TRS on this article

but yeah. white kids have a responsibility to learn about their hewyte privilege from a very tender age, you as a racially sensitive middle class jyslimes reader had the responsibility to teach them to be ashamed of the white race, the EBIL NATZEES of the human race. hwyte = nazi = sadistic, genocidal, oppressive monsters.

chapter 9 GLR

he says the rights main problem is not money or people, its cowardice. that enough people already know the truth, but they are too scared to stand up and fight and act, and are too worried about being NICE, when the left is not nice, and will not be defeated by niceness.

apparently the right wing cowards GLR met would talk privately with him about YOU KNOW WHO, but we too scared to sacrifice their security and comfort.

yeah well i think its a lot worse now, that people DONT know this red pill JQ truth, and that the right will call you a racist and tinfoil hat conspiracy nutter if you even mention the JQ. better yet, J’s are hwyte and our allies.

all talk and no action. well trumpenfuhrer seems like the most positive ACTION the right has seen in many peoples LIFETIMES.

oh hes not a rightist, he’s a populist. well id argue that the good kind of populism is inherently right wing.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mein-kampf-adolf-hitler/1125132928?ean=9781684185979&st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Core+Shopping+Books_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP62465

get the stalag edition hahahaha i am this close to dropping the 20 bucks hehe

terrible cover art tho

tuesday afternoon benedryl

heh. the way i feel about women and joos is the way the j media wants everyone to feel about hwytes! now i know this feel about women is a fictional woman in my head only. the j’s however, really are that bad. that’s no fiction. that is a sad disgusting reality that they have and are perverting everything good in the world.

they make hwytes look like sadistic monsters aka natsees becuase they’re projecting what they are themselves – sadistic, perverted monsters! spawn of satan!

i want MJ wah wah wah! i want that woman wah wah wah! all women are sluts! joos are genociding hwytes! wah wah wah! bitch bitch bitch hahahaha. cyka cyka cyka.

saw a 40 year old woman manager type with a masters degree today who wasnt super hot or anything but she was hwyte and not fat and was still bangable and was probably quite bangable in her youth. i wanted to bang her anyway. i guess now i am getting into the milfs since i dont see 20 year old gurls every day. if i did i would be staring at them like mad i can assure you. more than the 40 year olds. because 20 year old gurls are way more than twice as hawt as 40 year old women.

maybe i should marry a 40 year old divorced mother with like 10 year old children hahahaha.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

TO HAVE A CHANCE AT BECOMING A WAGE SLAVE YOU HAVE TO BECOME A DEBT SLAVE FIRST

mar 11

if at first you dont succeed, try, try, try, try, try, and try again. this is GREAT life advice we’ve all heard, and i would fully endorse it.

the big problem with it is, you are NOT suppose to use it on WOMEN. once they reject you ONCE, you DONT EVER want to try again, because that makes you the BAD GUY in ever way. bad, weak, evil, horrible, like a child molester or a raepist. because then youre not respecting her wishes.

i wish the people who say if at first you dont succeed, try and try again, made it more clear that this advice should NEVER be used with women. even though its good advice in all other areas of life.

yeah this is common sense…….to fookin normie nonnevergfs who have never not been with a woman for longer than casual secs hahahaha.

also it was hard for muh fam to educate me on women, because even though women have always been the same at heart…..the women my generation and young are much, much worse than the women from, for example, the older baby boomers.  in terms of the things theyve DONE, the things they have on their conscience, if they had a conscience. in short, theyve taken many more cox, murdered more babies, broken more hearts, done 60000000 times more harm. earned the wages of sin. whereas before, the women were at least restrained from DOING this stuff. and that matters. when you DO evil and sin it changes you for the worse, makes you a worse person. heh. even jesus christ was TEMPTED to sin and do evil. but he said NO GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!!!!!!!

so yeah unfort it was especially hard for the older generation to educate the younger generation on how to get women, because there was SUCH a drastic generational change in women.

the best would be homeschooling with an older brother or cousin who was 5 to 10 years older than you. or just a professional/life male mentor/role model who is 5 to 10 years older than you. every man should have this but most dont. Sad!

basically, someone from your same generation but a little bit older and wiser. younger than your parents. i suppose if your parents are younger then they might be able to understand your generation better because they are closer to it. and i endorse parents having children young. man and women get married at 18 and have their first child at 18. second child at 20, third child 22, 4th child 24, and the father has been making 28k a year since age 16, and by age 24 is prob making at least 40k a year. ideal world larping shit here hahahaha.

i guess in a nondegenerate nice hwyte country, you wouldnt even NEED homeschooling and could go back to more public schooling. though it should never get too far away from homeschooling. homeschool coops would be your “public schools”. parents would EXTREMELY VET all their childrens friends and especially their daughters suitors.

fathers could get involved with homeschooling too because half of homeschooling would be essentially bring your kids to work day and train the kids on your craft. so that they are poised to make 28k a year at age fooking 14 if they wanted.

and ideally the father would have eventually risen by this time to start his own business so that he is not somebody else’s slave and can hire who he wants, like his children, who he also makes damn sure are competent workers.

sure you could teach the daughters some of the work too, why not. esp if they have any interest in it. but mothers would be teaching about womens SACRED DUTY as the GUARDIANS of the race, of LIFE ITSELF, and educate women to have a LOT more RESPECT for that SACRED RESPONSIBILITY.

what a wonderful world it would be!

well i guess men would be the guardians but women would be…the mothers. you need them. without women and mothers your race dies.

“and thats a problem because………why?”

hehehe many young hwytes making 50k a year would seriously ask you that question.

“Whites have been on top for too long. They’ve taken MORE than their fair share. time for payback. KARMA. karmas a bitch sometimes, and whites have brought it all on themselves. time to step aside and give others a fair chance. thats why we need moar immigrants.”

im not makign this stuff up folks. i WISH it were just a cognitive distortion on my part.

GLR estimated that about 80% of (adult) J’s were traitors. and that traitors needed to be gassed. for treason hehehehe. this meant he beleived that 20% of j’s were GOOD JOOZ. when you put it THAT way…..that 20% sounds a little HIGH no? hahahahaha. i would put it more like 10% max hahahaha.

https://archive.org/stream/ThisTimeTheWorld/ThisTimeTheWorld_djvu.txt

READ IT. BUY IT hahahaha. search it on google shopping to get a better price than amazon.

after you casually bang bitches, give them this book and say read this if you ever want a good pounding from me ever again. you do know how to read dont you? you read 50 shades of gray. now read something that matters. and maybe i’ll pound you again when i have time. and dont steal the book from me like a joo. and ill dump you very soon because you are not an honorable woman. a better man, like GLR, wouldnt even have banged your sloppy slutty pvssy even once. (he admits to not liking Easy Sluts when he was in the military, which gave him a reputation as an “oddball.”)

heh. his father was essentially a COMEDIAN. did not expect this. went from ridiculously starving artist to making good money in the depression just by making people laugh. i cant even imagine a type of stand up comedy or vaudeville that isnt extremely jooed, but i guess it existed once.

oosh needed this one:

i mean this is the risk you take with all in. thats why they call it gambling. he could have easily beat me with AA. or getting a J. but there i had an equal chance of getting a K as he did a J. of course if he had QQ he would have beat me.

GLR: ” The documents include the Overman Report to the U.S. Senate, 1919, Senate Document 88, which shows that of the 388 members of the first Soviet Government, sitting in the Old Smolny Institute in Petrograd, 371 were Js and 265 of these Js were from the lower East Side of New York City!  ”

oh im sure this overman report has been discredited as an antisemitic hoax even worse than the protocols of the elders of zion hahahahaha.

petrograd = st petersberg

stalingrad = leningrad = volgograd = yuge russian victory against germans in ww2, hence yuge motherland calls statue. VERY VERY VERY impressive statue, but not sure this was such a good thing for russians. or germans. or the world. war should have never been fought. US should have never entered war. so uhhh what then. is it polands fault for not surrendering immediately to germany? i really like poland tho.  but prob not more than i luv the hwyte race and not more than my dislike of the antiwhiteness of da jooz.

https://archive.org/stream/TheInternationalJew/InternationalJew_djvu.txt

also read this one by the one and only henry ford.

http://archive.is/LNVTM

archive of the archive hahahaha

unfort GLR’s parents were divorced by the time he was 6. in the mid 1920s.

https://archive.org/stream/ThisTimeTheWorld/ThisTimeTheWorld_djvu.txt

see chapter 3 hahahaha

http://archive.is/lYvw8

i was also the first person to archive this on archive.is YOUR WELCOME hahahahah

back in the day you did not have to incur a ton of high interest debt to Qualify yourself for a Job as a NURSE.

something JOOEY is going on here.

now you are a 21 year old woman with 100k in debt and you can get a job that pays pretty well, maybe 40k a year. but still. note i am thinking of a BSN degree. not an LPN or god forbid CNA. which at least half of applicants are not smart enough to get into super competitive harvard like BSN programs.

all so you can work 60 hours a week watching people die, watching hospitals joo dying people over, have dying people complain to you that you are an evil joo, seeing 900000000 lb negros, dying chldren, all your colleagues are Opioid popping sluts cheating on their husbands and maybe you are too. never trust a nurse hahahaha. some of them are good tho.

GLR’s book sort of reminds me of bernard chapin. i think they are similar personalities. therefore, maybe i could use GLR to convince uncle bern to become JQ pilled hehehehe. slip him the GLR book and tell him its actually….theodore dalrymple or something hahahahaha. im sure bern knows who GLR is, but is probably unwilling to read any nazi stuff because “nazis were total leftists. they have the word socialist right in the title!!!!”

a lot of greatest generation type goys that are otherwise great hwytes, are really turned off by AH and the hakenkreuz, because they fought in WW2 and learned to hate the ebil natzis. what a cohencidence. but the kids these days dont even know what ww2 or the natzis even ARE, which i think is good for giving them a blank slate for us to work with. they dont know anything about the h0l0 hoax either!

cuz i was thinking about a guy like rockwell today. its really hard to get away with wearing a sv4stica and calling yourself a natzi. i mean anglin kinda does it, but he also does not go out in public like rockwell, and i would like if he did.

i think a better public face for the movement right now would be a guy like sven. handsome, charming, healthy, husband and father, funny, personable, sociable, normie chad dad. flying both a confederate flag and a US flag. comes across as a totally well adjusted normie that people will like and listen to. great optics hahahaha. which is why im so happy hes making hihg svenergy vidyas a regular thing now. maybe have his children make a cameo appearance. might be a good gamble to get more normie women involved. (not nonnormie crazy women.)

also be very curious to see how MW develops because now i think he has a GF and he is losing weight and dressing better and all these things can have an enormously positive effect on a mans confidence. especially having a loyal GF. i’d imagine, hahaha. never had one hahaha.

this is all speculation, i dont know he actually has a GF, but i am seeing some subtle hints that MIGHT suggest it.

i mean i hope he does, he totally deserves it! you shouldn’t HAVE to be as awesome as MW, or Sven, or varg v, just to get a damn decent gf! you should be in the top….50%, not the top 1% of awesomeness!

anyway. before you could just become a wage slave to da jooz. now you have to become a DEBT slave before you even earn the privilege of being a wage slave!!!!!!

”  But I never tried to kiss her, although she made remarks which I am now sure were dainty scoldings for my miserable cowardice in such matters.

This super- Victorian attitude with women followed me a long time in life and I may have missed a great many  ‘good things’ by ordinary standards. But after seeing more of human ‘love’ and what happened to many of the
brassy successes with women, I suspect that the sweet, storybook memories I keep of such idyllic, if not  physically satisfying, love are far more pleasant in the long run than the pleasures of the more sophisticated. I don’t believe I can deny that my failure to ‘go farther’ with girls earlier in life was largely due to plain cowardice where girls were concerned. But I also think most people today lose the savor of love and sex through over- sophistication and impatience. It is impossible to enjoy a fine wine by gulping it all down at once and even a connoisseur cannot appreciate his dainty sips the first time he tries wine. ”

chap 3, GLR describes his first luv and how he was a beeta niceguy who was too afraid to make a move, but ultimately he was glad he was not a MUH DIKK, FILTHY-MINDED DEGENERATE.

https://archive.org/details/THESTORYOFPHILOSOPHY1TheLivesAndOpinionswillDurant1926

will durant’s story of philosophy was influential to the 18 year old GLR. I have heard of this guy but never read. here’s the full text hahahaha.

ok getting ready to go to boring church.

in chapter 4 he describes being a waiter at 19 where he had his first Practice Gurl, a waitress of 24 at his restaurant, so he lost the vcard and had some fun with her, at an age when that is so important for a boys confidence, with a gurl who is a little older, but in the grand scheme of things, still young as hell. this is pretty much perfect. wish i knew some 24 or 25 year old women when i was 19! i sure didnt hahahaha.

that’s probably the ideal way to do it, even for special snowflakes like me. unless you have a high school sweetheart AND she likes you back AND then you fook like rabbits AND she doesnt dump you immediately.

in the 1930s even slutty unmarried 24 year old skanks wouldnt dump you after several fooks. have the decency to let you fook them until you get comfortable fooking them.

so they SEEM “older” because you are SO young at 19…..but they are still young and hawt at 25.  and i think they like “schooling” the virile young boy. its a win win.  so good for GLR. i wish I knew some 25 year old sluts when i was 19.

also its good to get experience as a restaurant server at that age. but not to make a career out of it. and you will also prob meet a 25 year old slut working in a restaurant. therefore, I prescribe that all boys do one year of restaurant service when they are 18 or 19 if they are still a V and havent got married to their high school sweetheart, or have any ineptness with women.  of course, n my ideal world, they’ll already be making good money at a semi skilled trade such that working in a restaurant would be a step DOWN for them. so i’d make sure that 1. they dont MARRY the restaurant slut practice gurl they’re banging 2. they can come right back to their old job after a year, or 9 months. basically, the whole point of the restaurant is to give them Confidence and Social Skills in dealing with WOMEN, and in dealing with bitchy customers. and maybe in resisting the temptation of degeneracy and cash in your pocket.

GLR became suitably confident that he was able to pull funny pranks on bitchy customers, rather than run home crying every night. this is a great measure of your confidence. rather than being all nervous about bitchy customers, can you get enjoyment on doing little pranks on them? nothing TOO degenerate of course, like a nonwhite might do, but the innocent pranks like GLR describes: making everything sticky with syrup, serving up a bowl of butter disguised as ice cream to a fat bitchy woman, etc.

he was also a great example of someone who was very smart, but didnt apply himself in school and got mediocre grades in high school. that didnt stop him from applying to harvard tho. they “lost his application”. he later applied to brown and got in as an “experiment” because he had shitty grades, but he had a very high Standardized Test score, like SAT/ACT, and that alone was good enough to get him into Brown. not as good as harvard, but better than 95% of unis hahahaha.

ter·ma·gant     ˈtərməɡənt/  noun   1.  a harsh-tempered or overbearing woman.    2. historical       an imaginary deity of violent and turbulent character, often appearing in morality plays.

heh looking up words as i read.

when he “experimented with women” his first year at brown, what does that mean? that he fooked 50 sluts? probably more like he made out with 5 women. which still makes him a yuge normie chad by neet virgin standards hahaha. then he met his wife second year of brown. pretty ideal age to meet your wife.

might have to read his other book, hwyte power, which is less of an autobiog, and more of larping on the ideal world and how to fix this one.

he talks about his first wife who he met at that time, and she sounds like a real ballbusting bitch, constantly hot and cold, bipolar, showing him luv one minute, and then being cold the next minute, driving him crazy. total drama queen and bipolar. now he was man enough to “tame” her temporary and get some children out of her, but by god that had to be EXHAUSTING. he should have just NEXTED her and found a woman that wasnt gonna play so many GAMES with him. they were married for 10 years and had some kids. but i am surprised they lasted 10 years. probably because he was manly as fook, being a manly ass navy pilot and war hero.

yet HE didnt come to hate hitler and the germans!

yeah i take back what i said about kids forgetting about nazis and the holocaust and the svastica. yeah they might not know a god damn thing about ww2, but you know who has made DAMN sure that they never forget that hitler/nazis/svastica = pure evil, the most evil people evil, who wanted to genocide 60000000000000000000 joos in camps, innocent children, and that basically all white people are evil natzis and all nonwhites are like innocent jooish children being crammed into ovens by evil hwyte natzis. its an even worse thing than slavery that hwytes worldwife have to be eternally sorry for. especially germans. so yeah im not sure we could ever “reclaim” the svastica, and i think indeed GLR was starting to move away from it, realizing he had maybe miscalculated that risk.

i mean shit i get suspicious whenever i see some “hwyte power” person in front of a svastica flag. they look like hwyte trash with tattoos and women with face piercings and shit. prob on opioids hahahaha.

i will allow weev with his sweet tattoo hahaha. or people using svasticas with pepes or something. but i just dont see it being a vital part of VVN 2.0 and 3.0. maybe later it can be reclaimed tho.

see although he didnt like dirty military fookin sluts that didnt stop him from seducing a classy rich dame while his wife to be was all up and down on him. see, he was a real man and didnt have his balls in a cage by her. he should have just stuck with the rich georgia gurl elsie even if she was spoiled. hmm ok looks like he did ask her to marry him. then she called it off. then it was on again. ok she seems as ridiculous as the other woman. he should have nexted them both. found a damn woman that wasnt bipolar. i mean honestly. are even good women THIS bipolar?

but he had other more important stuff going on in his interesting life, like becoming a pilot. and these women still have the audacity to string him along and dump him. come on. like you can do better than a handsome, smart, charming navy pilot!!!!!!

how about a charmless, timid, awkward, old semi neet making 11k a year? hahahaha.

heh. well he admits to still being a naive beta when he married his wife, and too ignorant and cowardly to exert natural masculine dominance which would have saved the marriage. even though he had a practice gurl when he was 19 and had like 3 or 4 other gfs before marrying her and had been flying planes. if he wasnt masculine enough, no one would be. i think GLR was just selling himself short, and also maybe she was just crazy, and maybe he had a thing for crazy broads.

heh. if i had a practice gurl when i was 19 i would have learned how to deal with womens bullshit so when a decent woman gave me bullshit, i would handle it like a man and keep the woman loyal to me, to give me children, and i would have lived happily ever after with That Woman as the mother of my children! except i didnt know how to handle a Good Woman because I havent been with enough Mediocre Women! heh even the mediocre women would dump me quickly. and i was no decorated navy pilot or ivy league grad!

really it seemed the problem was his wife was brainwashed by her own mother who encouraged her to be a career woman and not be tied down by babies.

http://greenstarcan.com/green-star-cannabis-budventory/

hehehe here is a Cannabis place in spokane WA. i have heard that eastern WA is a pretty nice place for hwytes. just a very hwyte place, free of the marxist jooish POZ that is in the western part of the state like seattle. so, how bad is spokane? it is a pretty big city.

so WA has retail shops where you can just walk in and buy, like CO. i think OR is like this too. i can only imagine being a 21 year old degen in these states. staggering around washington state university going to the p0t shops hahahaha.  banging 20 year old hwyte gurls while blazed on legal weeeeed. well its not good that hwyte gurls are sluts, ever. but god DAMN am i ever tempted by the idea of legal weeeeed.

http://www.mjspotshoppullman.com/wp/?age-verified=fe419dbd0e

but is this really the type of country we want? is this the deal with the devil im willing to make for my own degen hedonism?? the equivalent of jerking off muh dick to muh porn????

well like ive said, MJ is not inherently perverted like porn.

anyway. who cares.

you think COMMANDER ROCKWELL would approve of MJ? fooooook NO, he’d rightfully call it jooish communist poison!!!!! im sure he eventually will say something to that extent in his book im reading!

yeah well i wouldnt go around boasting about it to commander rockwell hahahaha. he wouldnt understand muh needs in that area hahaha.  i mean yeah it is a bad habit and not something you should be proud of or advertise. but you should be able to legally do it. becuase it gives you a sense of Happiness, however fleeting hahahaha. and its not like you stop being pro-hwyte. i would gladly get blazed and continue to do pro-hwyte things hahahahaha, not become a traitorous race mixer hahaha.

well plenty of pathetic st0ners are race traitors haahaha. and have no healthy natural revulsion to miscegenation, no proper sense of racial hygiene!

 

ABG ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL

mar 8

sheeeeeeit. well i have cut muh cigaret smoking down by like 80% and dont really feel any cravings. so i am thankful for that.

OR AM I????

hhahahhahaha. maybe im not ACTUALLY thankful ENOUGH!

anyway. maybe i want to do MJ less because for a while i had moar privacy which would make WANTON use of MJ possible…..if i had any. that privacy is now gone, meaning even if i had some, it would be much more difficult to get out and use it. it could still be done, it would just be 3 times as hard.

i mean i would still do it. i would just do it less. MY POINT IS, I’M GRATEFUL that my DESIRE to use has decreased, in direct result of my OPPORTUNITY to use being limited. Since I know it’s less of a POSSIBILITY, i WANT it less.

anything that could make me WANT it less is a good thing. well, short of something thats even worse of course. like jerking off to porn 24/7. shit it would be better to just sm0ke mj.

ABG. ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL.

i would have told my younger self to never do MJ. never drink. dont go away to college. just stay at home, dont drink, dont do mj, do a stem degree, and if you dont want to do a stem degree, then do a business degree. use VIDYA if you want some form of drug to escape the “boredom” or despair.

humbling to think that VIDYA is a better alternative than Porn or Drugs or Alcohol.

but is drugs and alcohol worse than PORN? probably.

so MJ is worse than PORN?

YES.

hehehehe. damn. then how can i WANT it so bad?

i mean its apples and oranges really. its not worse than porn. it CAN be though. if you never watch porn and you always sm0ke mj. which would be the risk situation for me hahahaha. i mean i will never watch porn again. no desire to. i am DONE with that jooish filth. wish i could say the same about mj hahaha. but its not inherently jooish filth. it is pretty negrish tho hahahaha. nonwhite. arabs on hashish and such. africans and natives on MJ.

i played final fantasy 12 for 80 hours. those were 80 well spent hours. i dont regret doing it one bit. it was a great, fun, beautiful world. i would have spent those 80 hours better if i were job searching for a better job at the time. if i had spent that 80 hours in SKOOL, that would have been WORTHLESS. 80 hours of schoolwork will get you NOWHERE in life. 80 hours of schoolwork – reading, studying, homework, tests – gets you NOTHING. it gets you like 1 credit hour at best. 1/130th closer to a degree. 80 hours of job search will at least get you like 5 job interviews at least, and that’s worth something real.

but yeah its AMAZING what a WASTE of good time EDUCATION is. its LITERALLY just as bad as smokin WEED or looking at PORN. THAT is the true value of EDUCATION. isnt that DISGUSTING?

you might as well be working at WALMART. working at WALMART is a much better use of your time than EDUCATION.

its another totally jooish scam like porn, banks, loans, journalism.

so why dont i play vidya RIGHT NOW? why dont I just whip out the final fantasy and play it again? i’ve thought about it!

because i guess i would rather WRITE antijooish stuff to try to help a hwyte neet, than play 80 more hours of final fantasy.

i’ll tell you what i WOULD like to do, though. you can guess hahahaha. no not look at porn. have you even been reading what ive been saying. hahaha. i want to sm0ke w33d. everyday. right now. although somewhat less than i wanted to last week. thank GOD.

well you know what, wanting to sm0ke weed is a HELL of a lot better than wanting to be with that woman, or thinking about that woman. at least I have moved on from THAT.

is porn better than that woman?

in some ways……..yes? but still not worth it to use porn to try to get over her. i mean now we are just getting into philosophy 202 thought exercises. phil 101 would be like is abortion wrong. is being a slut wrong. is porn wrong. is cheating wrong. SUPER basic bitch stuff.

so lets say you get dumped because youre needy. i know im too needy and a big cause of women dumping me. but what if you rarely have a CHANCE to be needy….but when you do, you are? like you cant be needy unless they are somewhat considering dating you. which they very rarely are.

in other words, being that close to or have such a CONNECTION to someone is SO RARE, its almost NATURAL to become needy or overly attached. because its so damn RARE. it reminds you of what your life has been missing and now that you have a TASTE, youre instantly addicted. its like crack or heroin….but not nearly as easily available. not for YOU at least.

your key doesnt fit her lock. but many many other keys fit her lock. so you get butthurt about that too. whats so WRONG with YOUR key????? is it really THAT bad? its worse than negros and felons and cheaters and scumbags? apparently.

ANYWAY. thats old hat hahaha. who gives a shit. BITCHES BE BITCHES MAN. it doesnt mean youre WORSE than these negros, it just means they are better at Seducing Women than you are, and women are stupid as shit when it comes to seduction, they are even more stupid than a horny 16 year old boy wanting to look at porn. because nature wants these women to get pregnant NOW, so it makes them horny af, makes them sluts basically. they just have figured out (sort of) how not to get preggers. and if you do, nbd, just murder it. get it taken care of.

but youre goddamn right its frustrating they would pick sleazy negros over you. i cant blame you for being mad and butthurt and buttmad and bitter af.

again, there are some women who do not choose so poorly or recklessly. some women actually dislike negros and scumbags and cheaters and players and degenerates.

i mean this is basic bitch be masculine, be confident stuff. you can expect women to love confidence, but not to be able to discern good confidence from bad confidence. too much to ask. manage your expectations.

but yeah. every morning. before i go into my job, i say, god DAMN am I THANKFUL this is not my previous job. that I’m not dying of panic right now. that its so much of a chiller job. that i’m never gonna be in that situation where i have to answer that phone and i dont know what i;m doing or what to say. and the people around me are total professionals. i trust their judgment. i trust they know what they are doing. because they DO! they’re not bullshitting or telling me to bullshit!

i supposed i should use a clearer term because bullshit can mean at least 3 different things, including friendly banter or friendly exaggerations. usually when i say bullshit, i mean jooish lies to try to intentionally lie or hide something from somebody. not telling the full truth. being sneaky and jooish and dishonest and bad faith and….jooish! when you are trying to joo somebody!!!

its too late for me. but if i can just sm0ke w33d and watch hwyte people and hwyte children win, i will be happy enough i guess hahahaha. i will dnate money towards that end.

well when i see some hwyte people, especially younger, win at life, i sometimes get JEALOUS/ENVIOUS. and as i get older, everyone else gets younger hahaahahahaha.

 

http://archive.is/dkwM2

heh just be grateful you can make 25k as a 20 year old and just sm0ke tons of weed when you are not at work and grateful you have a job where you are not actively nervous and panicking the whole time and panicking about how you are going to SURVIVE one day at a time, every single day.

nobody said anything about sm0king tons of MJ hahahaha. that is one of the FIRST things i would have suggested.

yeah i havent ruled out that i might have ADD as well as despair and anxiety and bipolar. so you just take 4 different medz a day then hahahaha. go out drinking with your coworkers so you can become friends with them and they will stand up for you rather than throw you udner the bus. assuming you can still drink. i cannot so that does not help my working situation for when i have a REAL job like this guy ahahahaha.

wewlad i know that feel. being passive aggressive and needy and low confidence. its why i push all my friends away and will never have a gf hahahahahahahahahahaha

of course all the women on reddit with 600000000000 admirers are condescending and womansplaining to the poor guy hahahaha. oh yeah THIS is why i hate reddit hahahaha. cuz the women are so stupid.

they think they are SMART because theyre so successful in life with their 28k a year and all their relationship experience. how about you get monogamously married and have 3 children. instead of having your main goal in life being career and TRAVEL. its always TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL with these women. red flag.

travel is fine, travel is good, but to make it a huge goal and talk about it more than family and children? not good. yeah i wouldnt mind traveling to a MJ legal place and just doing MJ hahahahaha. or i wouldnt mind traveling to yurop for 6 months. not gonna happen though and that thought doesnt eat me up inside.  but yeah i dont trust these wanderlust millennials who like to  travel so much. hints at being a ((( rootless cosmopolitan ))). no thank you. put down some roots. blood and soil.

ok closed reddit. too triggering with these modern women.

i get more excited about eating a tasty MEAL than i do about the idea of TRAVEL. i get WAY more excited about the idea that one day I might have a big bag brimming with mid grade indica budz.

again i dont hate travel. there are many places in the world, in the US, in my state, that I would like to see. its just not a huge priority. i mean shit. if im feeling adventurous i would go to this park 15 miles away which i havent gone to in 15 years. with a bunch of MJ for a fun day in the woods and trails and lake. would totally take a woman there if i had any interest in any woman hahahaha.  i should really go there myself but i REALLY have to PUSH myself to do things like that by myself.

or just go with a regular friend. but i have pushed them all away because i am too passive aggressive, aloof, never lift a finger hahahaha.

oh well at least i am not a jobless neet any more, dont have to do 28 interviews and 550 apps anymore, now i have an 11k a year job hahahahaha.

apparently youre supposed to get used to people never telling you good job for the work that you do. we millennials raised to want a prize just for showing up. entitlement hahahaha. well my response is, whats wrong with a little praise and encouragement. ALSO, I am VERY willing to GIVE that praise and encouragement to OTHER people because I KNOW it feels good to be complimented on your work! so i compliment other people just to be nice and make them feel good!!!!!! don’t other people do this? just being NICE to other people? you compliment them even if they aren’t #1.

i complimented people all the time at my last horrible job. they appreciated it and they tried to compliment me. i prob didnt get enough compliments from higher up but who cares about them, my loyalties were to my team, not my higher ups hahahahaha.

at current job, i am prob happy with the level of compliments. and i tell the other people good job just to be nice and a team player. maybe theyre doing a shitty job. but i really dont think they are.

i imagine its a lot less triggering to read the women of reddit when you have a stable rel with a woman who is loyal to you, luvs you, sucks you off, etc. then you can just chuckle at these neurotic catladies bitching about everything.

but if you dont have that with a woman, then you take what these other women are SAYING way too SERIOUSLY. you should NEVER take what a woman SAYS seriously.  well, not on reddit. if she is saying she just wants to be casual friends, yeah i guess you should take that seriously too. or when she is letting slip gems about how many guys shes fooked and she doesnt realize she’s showing her slut level.

basically dont let what women say on REDDIT trigger you. just let it go hahahaha. step away from the reddit. meditate on big green bags of w33d that you wish you had hahahahaha.

shit maybe look at some HOOKERS on the erotic review hahahahaha.

read the local newspaper and upvote all the racist or right wing comments. maybe meet up with these people and buy them drinks, see if they can get you a better paying job when you tell them how much you fooking LUV being HWYTE.

meditate on how fooking AWESOME it is to be HWYTE. no joke.

march 9

so its super early, 648 am, really i could sleep in another 20 to 30 minutes but i dont mind getting up early, checking email, writing here, having time to have a 3rd stomach churning coffee water p00p if i have to (and i fully intend to in about 10 mins) and look at weather and traffic and email and calendars for people. get

ok had to do that before 10 minutes hehehe

but yeah so this is my opportunity to pump myself up. do the best i can. that was a valuable reddit thread above on the young man who is trying to get used to the world of work. it is a very fundamental question. even the people who are fortunate and skilled and smart enough to be gainfully employed at 28k a year have great difficulty adjusting to it emotionally.

50% of people are failures at life hahahaha.

this is what education SHOULD do. it should prepare children with the skills for work, so that they are GUARANTEED a 28k a year job as soon as they get out of high school at age 18. or more like 16. and you dont graduate until you have that job. and there would also be classes in high school on How To Adult: how to buy a home, how to raise children, how to be emotionally stable for 50-100 hours of WORK a week, how to not do drugs. schools and education fail at all these outcomes (objectives?). i mean yeah this stuff is probably the responsibility of the parents anyway. but these are THE most important things!!!! so keep your kids out of school and teach them The Most Important Things yourself because schools are absolutely useless.

education should be noble and sacred but the joos have ruined it, used it as a weapon against the stupid goyim. horrific. a travesty. also, you shouldnt leave The Most Sacred Trust up to a class of Professional Strangers! yeah yeah yeah at least 50% of them are True Believers in Making A Difference in Kids Lives and thats great, BUT, they still get trained in marxism by marxists and their good intentions are pretty much ruined hahaha.

maybe That Woman was way out of my league, she was way too good for me, because she was not a single mother. i simply don’t DESERVE a woman who is NOT a single mother. let alone one under 30 AND hwyte AND somewhat attractive!! WAY out of my league!!!!

i mean i am pretty much done with women until i stumble upon the next one hahahaha or take the action to Get A Hooker. i mean i cant legit try to Date Women until I have a 28k job, thats the rule, right? and all those online dating women are just a Marginal, Nominal, Horrifically Tiny step from being Hookers themselves, just less honest hookers hahahaha. with a hooker you know what youre getting. a woman who takes cash to fook 50000000 men.

but yeah i had that uncomfortable thought as i came home from a very easy day of making 11k a year: SHE WAS WAYYYYY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. SHE WAS WAYYYYYY TOO GOOD FOR ME. How FOOLISH of me to even entertain the thought. a hwyte trash fatherless gurl who is not super smart hahaha. way out of my league just because she doesnt have kids. and she is a solid 7/10 hahaha.

was she really out of my league? on paper it sounds like yes. but she wasnt out of league to be muh frand. and really its amazing she hadnt become a single mom herself yet. maybe she has by now. it doesnt matter.

but yeah when they dump you in a nice way, it doesnt bother you so much that they are out out of your league. when they dump you in a ruff way, you think, wow, maybe they were APPALLED that I had the AUDACITY to think I was even CLOSE to their league.

lesson: always be nice when you dump someone. dump people the way you want to be dumped.

did i learn my lesson: of course i did. how many more times must i say it. just blurt everything out as soon as possible. tell the whole truth immediately. i mean i hate to think i was a LIAR. I wasnt HIDING the truth. i was just too COWARDLY to tell the full truth, that i was heavily hinting with the way i was acting. lying would be acting one way, then denying it. i never DENIED anything. i was never asked to confirm or deny anything. but yeah i was no innocent victim. i had a role in my own downfall hahaha.

start of the weekend. no mj available. took 1 benedryl immed on getting home. plan to take 2 valium thruout day. not 3. 2 valium and prob 1 more benedryl.

i dont think women should be banned from asking questions/OP’s on reddit. i just think they should be banned from ANSWERING them!

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/half-a-million-pussies-march-on-washington-demanding-president-trump-grab-them/79313

great article about women. go throw some shekels at anglin now that his tshirt sale is closed. good thing i bought one hahahaha.

My grandmother always said it should cost $5,000 for a marriage license , and $50 to get divorced. That way you will be absolutely sure that you are serious about it. sez guy on daily stormer bbs.

well, it already costs like 6000000000000000 to get married, but not for the license, but for the stupid bridezilla wedding. and then it costs 60000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 dollarydoos to get divorced hehehe. but i see the guys point and its a good one, i agree.

another great quote in the thread from oberstein:

”  xOberstein Jan 22  reply to: TaureanPolishAngel [he’s mansplaining to a young women how men and women are different]
Pretty much the same reason women are naturally hypergamous. It’s two sides of the same coin.

Men are lookers and initiators. They’re attracted to looks, and they have to consider as many women as possible to find one who they are interested in and who is interested in them. The men who are successful at relationships are those who are the most active in searching for a partner, and the best at wooing her. These men can’t just radically change their personality once they enter a relationship. They’re still going to find other women attractive – that’s not something they can just turn off. This is why men are considered polygamous, and why unprincipled men sometimes cheat.

Women are not active in finding relationships – while men are the lovers, women are the beloved. This is why you (presumably) wait for a man to ask you out, rather than asking him out yourself. Once a woman is in a relationship, she is devoted to her partner, because she has little experience in finding random men attractive or seriously considering strangers as potential partners. However, if another man enters her life who she finds more attractive than her current partner, she is likely to return his affections and cheat. This is why women are considered hypergamous.

Jealousy affects both men and women when their partner cheats, both because people want to be loved (obviously) and because having your partner cheat seriously damages your chance of reproducing. In fact, I’d argue that men go through much, much more pain than women if their partner cheats on them or breaks up with them. The suicide statistics don’t lie. http://i.imgur.com/irQtOYz.png4   ”

saor guardians. great album and gets even better with time hehehehe.

ate dinner, took one valium, drinking coffee and listening to saor guardians. great album.

ya know why i dont like women? because they’re not as MORAL as men, and I prefer moral people to less moral people. now i totally understand that women arent SUPPOSED to be as moral as men, they dont have to be. but i also dont think nature is FORCING women to be less moral than men. i mean it wouldn’t be UNNATURAL for women to be a little bit more moral. although as it is, it’s not unnatural for them not to be moral either. becuase they dont NEED to be, they never NEEDED to be. men NEED to be. so i just contradicted myself hahaha. but yeah even though women have less of a NEED to be moral, nothings STOPPING them from being more moral if they WANT.

i like more moral people better than less moral people, so i like men better than women hehehehe.

and believe i believe women COULD be more moral if they real WANTED to, i resent them for taking the Easy Way Out.

heh. setting clocks forward two days prior to daylight savings time simply because i can hahahaha. gives me more time to adjust haha.

well the women i DO actually know in real life seem pretty moral. again im going back to this FICTIONAL, IMAGINARY woman who doesnt really exist. it’s not even an accurate representation of That Woman although in my mind it kinda “looks” like her. but she wasnt super immoral or evil or jooish, she was just human hahahaha just like any of us.

jooish, thats a good word for immoral, hahaha. synonymous.

mansplaining is just explaining. womansplaining is not explaining at all, its just BULLSHITTING.

aphorisms, like nietzsche hahahaha.

schoepenhauer. was he any good?

weininger. was he a joo? if so, you know where he goes.

904 pm (really 804 but i am trying to train my mind) took second and last valium. will prob take benedryl in a few hours then go to bed.

a good day at the table today, doubled muh stack finally. i need to do this a lot more!

i wonder if i were in high school right now how easy it would be to get MJ.

when i was in high school it wasnt too hard to get MJ although i wasnt looking to buy too much ever.

when i went to college i wanted it much more. and it was PROBABLY even easier to get, but it seemed harder, because i had less friends in college than i did in high school, had a very hard time adjusting and making friends. i eventually made friends and then it was easier to get MJ, but things would still run dry more than youd expect. and you had very little choice. just buy super expensive high grade stuff or get nothing at all hahahaha. i wanted mid grade but couldnt find it. everything was super top shelf kind buds. wawawawawawa. nothing for more working class people. these were all super middle class uni kids. and many of them were decent, even great people.

although if i were younger and in high school or college right now…..i shouldnt be smoking mj because that was one of the big mistakes where i threw my youth away and became a failure at adulting now. was because i smoked too much mj back then. and alcohol, and porn, and being a weirdo, and not going to a shrink, and not taking meds, and being stubborn, and remaining in the useless college situation i was in, rather than going to a less middle class, closer to home uni and getting a degree in stem or business or machining. all those were factors, not just the mj.

heh. its like i dont have the energy or will or agency or initiative to ACT on what i’ve learned from all my mistakes and failures. i’ve learned the lessons but still DO NOTHING.

world womens day. fook off. what is this bullshit. first the womens march on washington, now world womens day, women stay home from work, etc. so stupid. its all just a gay ass jooish protest against glorious leader trvmpenfuhrer. they think hes literally hitler and wants to throw women and muslims in ovens. shit i wish he did hahahaha. well, not hwyte women hahaha. but publicly hanging traitors would be fine. would send a great message. its a little barbaric i guess. so you could put bags over their heads, and just let their hanging bodies hang there for a week. that would still get the point across.

i mean ideally women wouldnt go to work to begin with. and a family could survive on one income and men wouldnt have to compete against women for jobs in this grotesque abomination that is enough to turn me against capitalism hahahahaha. to see it as the other jooish side of the jooish coin of communism. just like the two sided joooish coin of marxism and zionism, you have the two sided jooish coin of communism and capitalism. DAMN.

so yeah just give me nationalism. hwyte nationalism.  with somewhat free trade optimised for the benefit of your hwyte citizens. hwyte fascism hahahaha.  and i would be a softie about hanging hwyte traitors. id hang a few though. the hardcore people would say not enough.

i dont even know if id hang illegal aliens hahaha. no i would literally catapult or airdrop them into their home countries. make them pay for it hahahah. shit i might even have our taxpayers pay for us, because it would benefit our country. just like The Wall. imho we dont need to make mexico pay for it. if you can get them to, FINE, but it’s still a good deal even if we have to pay for it. just build it quickly, dont put it off. people want to see this wall soon. i really hope he doesnt waffle on this wall and literally starts building it NOW. i dont care if its more of a see through grate or fence.  FINE. it makes sense, that you could see through and shoot through the wall. how about even just prisons have rows of barbed wire fences. that would be fine. throw up some cheap barbed wire fences. have manned guard posts every mile with people in there 24/7 with gunz hehehehe. yeah that would be expensive sure. but patriotic murkans would prob be willing to pay for it. would rather my tax dollars go to it than welfare bennies for illegals hahahahaha.

really i bet blacks are a bigger problem than illegals or muslims hahaha. well in some areas the illegals are about as big a problem as the blacks hahahaha. and the black question has been a tough one for many years because of course its connected to slavery. im not so stupid that i would deny that!

HA! watching watters world on fox news and he is interviewing people outisde the alamo and he talked to a metalhead wearing an inquisition shirt. he looked kinda latinx though hahahaha. almost certainly a degen but never saw an inquisition shirt on tv before hahaha. they are bretty kewl and there were rumors they were racis. ok they showed the guy again and he looked pretty white. inquisition is from south america america and im sure they are mixed mestizos, but i’d also say they are 75% white mestizos hahaha.  i would be willing to go to one of their concerts, i hear their concerts are GREAT.

mar 10

yep long post but my hands are tied. it is what it is what it is. because i already have 99 drafts and if i add one more, i get shut down. thats a wordpress rule. in fact im surprised they havent shut me down for my wrongthink.  even if you DONT talk about violence, and i dont, or crime, but you just talk about the JQ for long enough, and you will get shut down. you cant even talk about it. thats how you know its some serious shit hahahaha. so i thank god im a murkan, where at least i know im free. we have a lot more freedumz than other formerly hwyte nations like canada or uk or germany or aus.

the first song on this album is extremely catchy and popped in my head yesterday. this album came out in 1999 or 2000 and i remember it was a big deal. i was just starting to learn about black metal and death metal at that time and I remember when the album came out and i bought it on CD and everyone was like wow the great emperor finally came out with their follow up to the Groundbreaking Anthems album.

i suppose this IXE album sounds a bit dated today since black metal really didnt end up evolving this way and im kinda glad it didnt! ie overwrought symphonic stuff. but there are still some sweet riffs and fast blasts here.

and then emperor has become completely irrelevant and ihsahn still has plenty of die hard fans but he is certainly not Bleeding Edge any more. not that he has to be.

and then by 2001 i didnt really care about their final album hahaha.

they are not BAD, just….ITNE and Anthems were their best albums hahaha. maybe wrath of the tyrant too but im not familiar enough with that one haha.

in general, i am quite happy with the way black metal has been evolving the past 25 years or so hahaha and boy has it been evolving and i’m grateful that i can be happy about the direction its taking. both the throwback stuff, and the pagan stuff, and the artsy blackgaze alternative hipster stuff, the american stuff, the british stuff, the finnish stuff, the french stuff, the orthodox stuff, it’s all good!

http://archive.is/qpYAJ

hit piece on andrew anglin from columbus paper, feb 2017

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/the-atlantics-luke-obrien-launches-campaign-of-harassment-to-shut-down-speech-of-political-activist/90830

anglin tells of sleazy journos being sleaze joornos. they are the scum of the earth and the enemy of the people hehehe.

oh hay yesterday march 9 was the 99th birthday of george lincoln rockwell RIP.

http://archive.is/lYvw8

full text of “THIS TIME THE WORLD” his autobiog

http://laraj.ca/AGwiki/uploads/Fascism/America/George%20Lincoln%20Rockwell%20-%20This%20Time%20the%20World.pdf

pdf here made pretty by our lad zeiger, will prob get taken down hahaha

https://archive.org/stream/ThisTimeTheWorld/ThisTimeTheWorld_djvu.txt

i should buy a hard copy because this deserves to be proudly displayed on all hwyte men’s bookshelves hahahaha

i should have been reading and praising GLR for YEARS, its SAD ive only really started getting into him now. Sad! he was a giant. a LION of a man. without him, there would be no dr pierce, no david duke, no vvn, no 14 words, no dr greg, no weev, no andrew anglin, no trs. no me hahaha.

i mean this guy cuts right to the chase immediately and is just as timely as ever. on the first page, calling out the J and the WELTFEIND hahahaha. the twin evils of zionism and bolshevism. crush zionism. good lord. no rambling for pages and pages.

also he is just a good writer and not just a good speaker. he could and did write a good book that seems like it will be a pleasure to read.

even though he was tragically murdered FIFTY years ago, the stuff still reads like it was written TODAY.

http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/why-america-losing-its-cyberwar-stockpile-is-good-for-america/90756

mar 10 new article by weev writing for daily stormer. did not show up in muh google alerts for weev! maybe google is banning daily stormer from search results hehehe. i found it thru a link on a reddit that appears to be picking up where /r/altright left off when it was shut down.

heh. there are so many articles on daily stormer you cant even find them on the front page hehehe.

 

NEXT TO ME, UNCLE ADI IS MICKEY MOUSE AND AVSCHW1TZ IS DISNEYWORLD

mar 6

when you are in the depths of grief you do go crazy. this is well documented by scientists in SCIENCE! literature. and i dont believe its all a SCIENCE! atheist fedora jooish scam, i believe its real, and you do go crazy. meaning YOU do stupid shit, including possibly self destruct. i am scared that whenever i find myself in the depths of grief, i will do something so self destructive i will ruin my whole damn life. no, i dont mean K’ing myself, but something as “simple” as no call no showing and getting fired from your job. That’s another way of ruining your life besides just K’ing yourself. then you run out of money, lose your home, as you struggle to try to convince other people to hire you, as you are currently mad with grief and also look like a Quitter, Unreliable. or if you are a Recovering Addict, you lose control during the grief and fall off the wagon. leading you to quit your job and K yourself hahahaha. have a heart attack at the wheel and crash into a mcdonalds, like how a guy died around here not too long ago.

and then your wife leaves you for being such a basket case, takes the children, demands money you dont have, and you go to debtors prison because you cant afford to pay for your wife and kids, and even if your wife didnt demand alimony like a bitch, you probably still couldnt pay for your damn kids because you just lost your job because you no call no showed and couldnt think straight enough to do 1 * 1 = 1. let alone explain shit you dont understand and can’t refer your angry customers to someone who does understand. there might not even BE a person who understands.

came across a thing of a person talking about nietzsche and kierkegaard, and kinda broke it down into basics. because i’ve been MEANING to read “thus spoke zarathustra” the past…….13 years and havent made any progress. and i hear “either/or” is pretty good but meh its prob not fun. they explained the basic bitch version: that you face EXISTENTIAL DESPAIR, and go through STAGES: first, a very immature muh dick “aesthete” stage, then a more mature Ethical stage where you are aware of the despair, then Religiousness A where you try to do something about the despair, then finally Religiousness B, where you start to find some peace because you have given the despair over to GOD. I think. anyway I liked all the talk about DESPAIR, obviously hahahaha.

i am SUPER AWARE of despair, so i’ve obviously moved into at LEAST the “ethical” stage, so that’s good. uhhh i am DEF OPEN to the IDEA of a god, i would LIKE to have faith…. i dunno, i’m somewhere between ethical and religiousness A.

anyway these philosophers certainly were concerned with the things that really matter, but i couldnt spend my whole life writing books on these issues like they did. i mean just give me the basic bitch version, and thats good enough for me. then i’ll spend my life furiously mansplaining to women why murdering your baby is wrong, hahahahaha. thats good enough for me. why being a dirty slut is wrong. Why taking 100000000 cox is wrong. why The Jooed Life is wrong.  Why Jooish Perversions are Perverted.

i would be the Street Preacher while those guys were in their Ivory Tower hahahaha. They were still good goys though. GREAT goys. Both of them. i mean i do really need somebody to give me the basic bitch version though. nietzsche AND kierkegaard 4 Stupid Goyim.

but yeah no need for me to get a philosophy phd, even if its concentrating on ETHICS/MORALITY which would totally be my area, when its not complicated folks. you dont need a phd. just don’t murder your baby, dont cheat, dont treat people like garbage, do no harm. the end.

i dont need to spend my life researching that, i would prefer to spend my life mansplaining such retardedly basic bitch concept to BASIC BITCHES!!!!

you dont need a phd to understand these very BASIC BITCH, stage 1 concepts. it is interesting that kierkegard called the most basic bitch, instant gratification stage the “AESTHETE.” heh. does this mean they can at least appreciate aesthetics then? so its not like throwing pearls before swine at least? cuz thats what its like now. tell bitches that murdering their baby is evil and they look at you like youre speaking chinese hahahahaha.

i am magnifying again. i dont actually have proof of evil bitches like this. i dont have a concrete example where i mansplained the ethics of abortion to a woman and she had no idea. i am creating a fiction of the Worst Imaginable Woman here.  that is what i do in my FREE TIME.

i wonder what these TITANS of moral philosophy would say about ABORTION. they would probably faint in horror that such a thing could be conceived. no pun intended hahahahaha. and they would say I WONDER WHO could come up with an idea SO REPUGNANT to basic human morals?

i heard a theory that it was nietzsches sister who was responsible for all his “anti-semitic” writing, that she edited his notes to create “the will to power”, which did not represent FN’s actual ideas. i dont know how true this is. i would ideally like for FN to share some of his sister’s anti-semitism. talk to heidegger hahahahahahahaha.

but yeah basically we had all the same problems we had back then, but also some very new, very important moral problems, and you can probably go ahead and blame them on da joos right now. stuff like pornography, abortion, neetism, alienation.

i think some of the philosophers were starting to get into alienation. then in the 60s and 70s everything became postmodernism and relativism and (((((critical theory))))) and deconstructionism and frankfurt school and foucault and derrida and deleuze and lacan and barthes and baudrillard and adorno and other ways of making jooism excuses for jooish moral perversions and moral inversion.

give me nietzsche, kierkegaard, heidegger, and probably jung too hahahah. give me nonjooed philosophers only.

hey you dont like my antijooism, fook off back into the oven, jooboy. I have been antijoo since 2012 and its only gotten stronger hahahahahaha. I am da jooz worst nightmare. next to me, uncle adolf will seem like MICKEY MOUSE.

it’s not a CONSPIRACY. its right out in the fookin OPEN. its not a CONSPIRACY at all. joos have INTERESTS. all races but hwytes have INTERESTS. hwytes USED to have interests. joos interests have ALWAYS or nearly always been against hwytes, and until they stop that shit, my interests, and the interest of muh volk, will be against their interests.

you dont need to sell me on the JQ. i’m already there man. waaaaayyyyy ahead of you. i just wish i could sell more hwytes on the JQ. that is muh weak point, among others. but the horses that dont want to drink the water I lead them to will say, what, you mean you believe in a jooish global conspiracy that controls the media and the money? what else, you believe only 5 million people were ovened at auschwitz???? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT TO QUESTION MUH 6 GORILLION? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DOUBT THAT NUMBER?

because I am a RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGING ANTI-S3M1TE. PERIOD.

you dont like it, find some other neet blog that wants to help you get out of neetness. and if you’re a joo, go beg at the JCC for a 28k a year job and some jooish sluts. jooish doctors there can get you an unlimited supply of any drugs you want if you have anxiety and cant talk to gurls or something. who cares. go move to your own country and stop your people from jooing my country.

oh yeah i had a moral dilemma recently. i had this friend who was/is a great guy, one of the greatest goys i will ever meet, just a perfect man. the kicker is that his life was very literally saved by a jooish doctor. WAT DO.

so i say, NAJALT, there are probably lots of jooish doctors that save lots of goy people’s lives. BUT THEIR LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED ANYWAY by goy doctors were there no jooish doctors available. if that jooish doctor wasnt there, a goy doctor would have been in his place to save muh old friend’s life. not saying that particular joo isn’t a good person tho. he probably is. not a great race, however.

simple answer amirite? fook yes. i only took ONE philosophy course and I knew the answer to that one right away. meanwhile joos with philosophy phd’s spend their careers brainwashing CHILDREN that MURDER is morally acceptable, that EVERYTHING is morally acceptable because MORALITY does not really exist, its just a system of hwyte oppression and punching down. this is what philosophy has DEGENERATED into.

better to just take Ancient Greek Philosophy with Plato and Aristotle and shit at some shit tier toilet college. or i guess just anything before 1900. everything to around the time of freud and marx, except excluding their jooish bullshit.  maybe studying  how they were the beginning of jooish bullshit. defoo da joo.

hegel? kant? how jooed were they?

wasnt the enlightenment pretty jooed?

these are not questions you can ask your professors. your TEACHERS.

i will probably never be able to be man enough to have children of my own. i just ask for the opportunity to help hwyte children in some way, and to i guess be AROUND them in some capacity, like i am not automatically such a bad influence that I need to be KEPT AWAY from children AT ALL COSTS. that would indeed make me quite a sad panda hahahahahahahaha.

so why not help children who are RELATED to me? like the children of cousins and such, kids who are 10 years old and actively in the process of Child Development.

well they have good successful white parents and I am SURE the children will do well. they dont need my help. in fact, they are surrounded by so much good influence i might actually be a bad influence. also i am not close with these parts of the family, and have never even MET the children, in some cases who are like 12 years old. never met them in 12 years.

also, i would be a better influence to somebody who is surrounded by a lot of bad influences hahahaha. then my paltry contribution might seem more positive in comparison hahahaha.

my friends and old friends who have had children, well lets just say these children are blessed to have good hwyte parents. i am not worried about those kids. i mean yeah i should still be in contact with my old friends but. no excuse. maybe i felt i would be a bad influence on their children! because I was a fookin bum who was not alpha male enough to have children!

so this kind of mindset keeps ME away from GOOD influences and also from spending time with hwyte children, which itself is technically a good influence too, even though the children arent doing any hard work. heavy lifting hahahaha. they dont need to tho. they just need to exist.

i mean a person doesnt have to be PERFECT. i would probably hang out with a loser like me just because i have interesting ideas and are not actively K’ing myself with drugs or alcohol hahahaha. that’s pretty much all you need to do. don’t need to make 28k a year, just need to not be a hopeless drug or alcohol addict. IVE ALREADY ACHIEVED THAT MUCH!!!!!!

i mean i would have a grand old time talking to myself about how sluts are shamefully degenerate, smokin 420000000 tonnes of MMJ, watching triumph of the will, going to the park, talking about the 14 words and the JQ, listen to iron maiden and black metal, hahahahaha.

maybe i want the female version of myself?

heh. in a way i felt That Woman was the closest i had found to a Female Version Of Myself. just cuz i felt we were SIMILAR people, similar values, similar Mindset, similar personalities. we werent the SAME, but we WERE SIMILAR.

not similar enough i guess!!!!!!!!

had decent day at the job, answered phone a little bit, did something i felt just competent enough at so that it felt like a Surmountable Challenge, and not an Insurmountable Confusing Clusterfook. i mean thats a razors edge, when does something tip over from being surmountable to being INsurmountable? i mean i would much rather something be too easy than too hard. because you can ACTUALLY DO the thing that is too easy. the thing that is too hard, you dont have a DAMN CHANCE of even KNOWING if you’re EVEN CLOSE to the right PATH or not.  no thank you.  you could be 99% there, or you could be 180 off the mark, and you have no way of knowing. FOOK THAT SHIT.

mar 7

now i am putting EVERYTHING in a spreadsheet to try to get AVERAGES. not a bad way. average minutes to apply for  job. average calories per day. average time i went to bed. average (estimated) time i actually fell asleep. those last two items are my latest great idea. so i can OPTIMIZE my bedtime. obv the goal is not to get into bed too early, and close the window between bed and sleep to about 30 minutes. and still get 8 hours a night. since i get up at 5 am, the goal fall asleep time is then 9 pm. easier said than done. but maybe the numbers can help me there.

measure the metrics. analyze the analytics hahahahahahaha. get 8 hours of sleep a night, lose 45 pounds, hahahaha.

no i mean i have already lost 45 pounds TOOT TOOT. i dont want to lose any more, just to keep it off, so i dont get too big for muh nice new smaller clothes.

heard a story of a man who took well over 60 college credits in one year because he went to an online college and was charged by the year, not by the credit hour, so he wanted to cram as many credits into the year as possible. also, he was probably required to have bachelors degree to get the job or promotion. so he took WELL over 60 credits at this shitty online university in one year. and im sure worked full time during that time as well. we all wondered, well did he actually learn anything, and agreed, probably not, but this is the shitty situation you have to deal with. he needed the degree and he just wanted to Git R Done, and he did. at the least expense to himself. you cant blame him.

The System shouldnt have REQUIRED him to have a bullshit degree from a bullshit online school, or really ANY skool. CREDENTIALISM at its worst.

so now he makes a good living with a BS degree and prob has several children. hwyte guy hahahaha.

im not saying he’s dumb or jooish. im saying the whole system is a dumb and jooish scam wasting years of his life when he should have been making more money for his hwyte children instead of slaving away for 60 credits in 1 year just to get the piece of paper which would help his children. i dont even know where people get the high energy. maybe the children do it for you hahahaha. maybe i should have children just to try to get more energy hahaha.

cancer is the worst thing ever. you can beat cancer, then 30 years later, you get a tumor, you get a savage round of chemo, which is painful and wrecks you, its ALMOST as bad as the cancer, then it turns out, welp, the chemo didnt work, and now you are gonna DIE in 6 months. 6 months you go from pretty healthy for your age, to DEAD, with the last few weeks being horrible pain. like welp, you’re obviously GOING TO DIE in the next week or two at the longest. god damn. it makes having a heart attack look fast and painless.

alzheimers is also horrifying and prob worse than a heart attack.

there are very few ways to die that are NOT absolutely TERRIFYING. cancer, alzheimers, etc. dying peacefully in your sleep really IS too much to ask for. which is why i am Bitter at The Lord for prohibiting su1c1de. in the face of cancer and alzheimers, su1c1de looks FOOKING AWESOME. but you CANT do it, because then you go to HELL. GOD DAMN.

there’s nothing INHERENTLY wrong with online college. i know for a fact there are strict, good quality standards, for those that choose to apply them. i just dont like shady, scammy jooish online colleges that charge an arm and a leg and are clearly run as low-quality business to Produce Credentials. Expensive Degree Mills. but fookin Wichita State University Online, nothing wrong with that. also the shorter online classes are HARD. you cover a LOT of stuff in 8 work pack weeks. I would much rather see 16 week courses at least. and schools that charge by the credit hour rather than the year. because i would only want to take 1 class at a time, ever, and have it be a 16 week class, and have it meet accepted quality standards, and be a fair price. in this case, online college is no problem mon.  but phoenix and devry can SUCK MUH DICK.

40 years ago your dad could put himself through college bagging groceries at the grocery store. being a damn caddy. mowing lawns during the summer and not needing to win highly competitive internships during the summers.  now you have to take out a huge jooish loan thats worse than a HOME LOAN, for something that has LESS value than it did 40 years ago.

and then youre screwed because you didnt get an internship at microsoft when you were 19.

but im clearly MAGNIFYING. PLENTY of people are hugely successful who did not get internships at microsoft at 19. people have gotten out of PRISON at age 25 and still turned their lives around. (but thats sure not the norm for people who get out of prison at 25. MOST of them just go right back. because they cant get legit work that pays more than n3gro CRIME.)

maybe i should just buy and resell drvgs on black markets hahahahahaha. buy low, sell high hahahahaha. no im not advocating this whatsoever. i condemn all illegal things. OBEY THE LAW.

 

 

sat oct 21

mar 4

heh. if you get mail mailed to you at your JOB is it legal for your employer to OPEN it hehehe, was the big idea i got yesterday. like if you got stem cells mailed to you from russia hahahaha. or shrunken pygmy heads from africa. weird stuff you dont want coming to your home if you live with other people hehe.

great soundtrack. in addition to the final fantasy 10 and 6 soundtracks. i guess playing vidya is not super terrible. but it is degenerate because you escape into that nostalgaic world. i am glad i cant do that with new games any more or else i would be a vidya addict.

still better than being a PORN addict tho.

well that gurl in dragon quest (aka dragon warrior) better cover those damn whore tits up, looks like a jooish whore. also it looks like anime. great game tho – great story, great gameplay, great music, etc. i spent 40 hours on it at least.

yeah i totally understand why men get so into video games. you get really pulled into this really interesting world where you cant wait to see what happens next. im glad im NOT drawn to it any more, because it really is naturally tempting. not to me though.

also thankful i am not helplessly, hopelessly attracted to little boys like a pederast either hahaha. thats gotta suck to have totally perverted fooked up desires and know it and just have it torturing you. the worst i have is a hopeless attraction to MJ. thats the closest thing. even that could be worse, i could be attracted to Opioids or Alcohol. I used to be really big on alcohol, but not anymore, dont even really THINK about it a lot. but MJ…..every damn day, multiple times a day.

i know local MMJ’s have large menus with a range of prices per 3.5 g, 14 g, 1 oz (28 g hahahaha) high and medium priced, indica and sativa, 50 different types of MJ. you get the one that best suits your needs. i would want to get a mid range (cheaper) indica. prob buy larger quantities to try to get discount. i guess that wouldnt be an issue if i had a card and could buy any time i wanted. since the opportunity never presents itself to me at this time, shit i would want to buy around $150 next time i had the chance, and get as much as i could for that.  because, like hanging out with an attractive young women, who the hell knows when youre gonna get that chance again. maybe 10 years, maybe never.

like how instead of spending 7 bucks on a pack of cigarets, i buy a 6 oz  bag of pipe tobacco for 7 bucks and 200 tubes for 3 bucks and essentially buy 10 packs of cigarettes for 10 bucks. the quality of the tobacco doesnt seem that damn bad whatsoever.

which is why i like the idea of buying “shake”. its not as A E S T H E T I C as big juicy buds….but its just the same stuff that falls off these big nugs, and the dillas seem to sell it at a discount. just sell me an oz of shake for 50 bucks hahahaha. instead of 400 bucks for an oz of Kind Loud Fire Buds.

went to church on this saturday afternoon and it was super boring. not that thats the worst thing in the world, but i almost fell asleep 3 times durig the mass. i WISH i could be that tired when i laid down to go to sleep at night!!!!!!

just imagine you are in CHURCH and you will be asleep in 20 minutes! maybe that way i could get to bed by 7 pm, or 8 pm. this 930 or 10 kinda sucks…..but i cant force myself to go to bed any earlier.

went from smoking like 6,7,8 cigarets a day to smoking 0 the past 2 days. not bad. not even getting intense cravings. i mean sure i could smoke a cig but im not DYING for one. shit im DYING more for mj. mj is more addictive than TOBACCO.

hehehe i literally fell asleep while just sitting here. not sure why so sleeping. got ok sleep yesterday. wish i was this tired when i went to bed on a Work Night! didnt even have any benedryl or valium tonight!!! maybe i am “catching up” from when i normally get up at 5 am, which by any account is pretty early, but i dont really mind, because its not that hard to Survive the job and i am thankful for that. shit for this i would get up at 4 am, maybe even 3 am. probably even 2 am hahahaha. so 5 am is tech sleeping in! but i know id like to go to bed at 7pm, but ive tried, i just cant, so i goto be closer to 9 or 10. now on a day off ive been tired as hell, almost falling asleep in church (it was boring af tho) and here, literally falling asleep at the poker table at 830 pm or so.

march 5

when somebody DUMPS you, NEVER beg for them back. NEVER ask them to reconsider. THEY DUMPED YOU. if they want to reconsider, you think they’re only gonna realize that at your pathetic insistence? NO, if they want to un-dump you, let that horse come to the water and drink of its own agency and volition and WILL. of course odds on this are very very low. vanishingly low. but i guess anythings technically possible. hahahaha.

of course, much easier said than done when you are getting dumped and your heart breaking.

i think going to a hooker might actually be a good thing for me. i mean i wish i could just pay a qt nonhooker to just hang out with me and be nice to me since its not secs per se i want……however i think having hooker secs with an attractive hooker would still serve my main goal of being more confident and less nervous around women. so for that alone it would be worth 300 bucks. or 400 bucks hahahaha.

but recently backpage took down its escort section after being pressured by FEDGOV. maybe it will be back up soon. well there are other websites. like the escort review or some shit. in fact those are probably better.

escort is code word for hooker that you can pay for secs. you just call it a dnation and say i am giving you a free will dnation for your TIME, imma just put this on the table over there. and then you do her up the ass hahahahaha. boldly go where many, many, many men have gone before. balls deep in a hookers ass for 100 dollars a half hour. aint no shame in that game hahahahahahaha.

hey i know literally not all women are like that. i know at least 2 or 3 decent good women. 4 or 5. married or getting married. shit even that woman was a good woman but she had a legit understandable moment of weakness. not like she was going out being an evil J, fooking 60000000 cox and murdering 600000000 babies and ruining 600000000 mens lives. she just got scared and ran away like ALL of us have done at some points in our lives. the end.

anyway i am kidna moving out of my women hate phase as well. I TOLD you it was only TEMPORARY. Now i just dont care. there are good women and bad women. i dont really want to make an effort to meet any women. i’d rather make an effort to get yuge bags of MMJ.

i think scrod is not an actual species of fish, its just random fish. what about cod? i dont REALLY care, i dont really like fish, but i do enjoy eating “fish and chips” on occasion. that is just fine. so that “fish” is usually “cod”. so what is “cod.”

i dont eat it for the taste of the fish, i eat it for the taste of the flaky batter hahahaha. and also because catholics in lent on fridays. cant eat beef hahahaha gotta eat “fish.”

sorry, not escort review, The EROTIC review. look up assfooking hookers on that site.

hmmm found an attractive looking local hooker for 140 an hour. very quickly. not bad! of course they blur out their face but she was white and not grotesque. prob dont let you put it in the ass for 140 an hour tho hahahahahaha.

she wont judge you if you cant get it up. she sees nothing but scumbags and weirdos and alcoholics and druggies all day. next to them you look like a winner. and she can probably get you some MJ hahahahaha. now im not saying to be abusive or even disrespectful to the hooker. but i sure am saying you can definitely ask, is it okay for me to put it in your ass and make you say, “im a dirty little wh0re who has taken 1000 cox! fook me in my filthy wh0re ass like the 9000 other men who have fooked me in the ass! i luv being fooked in the ass like a worthless 4n4l butt slut!” its not a crime to ask them to say it hahahahaha. me personally i would luv to get them to say self degrading things like that. but i wouldnt MAKE them if they didnt WANT to! i realize they are just doing a JOB, a very degrading, tough job. i have LESS respect for the NORMIE women that just treat secs and life as some kind of meaningless game. next to them, the hookers seem honest, or at least Woke.  i would get more pleasure out of getting normie gurls to say those degrading things. the actual hookers have been degraded enough.

but yeah. i still want MJ WAYYYYY more than i want a hooker.

so i guess i could just make a list of nearby cert places, print out the limited med records i do have, none of which have a qual condition, but just bring them as a sign of good faith, and expect to get rejected, but then plan to just cross it off the list and go to the next place the next week, and hopefully by the time i go to 30 places, i can get approval, and then get the card sent to a PO Box. repeat process when its time to renew.

of course the shady doctor can approve but the STATE can STILL reject it.

at that point i would just go see a diff doctor then hahahaha. make a spreadsheet.  dont go to a place unless they say theres no charge if you get rejected. ideally no charge even if they approve you but the STATE rejects you.

according to state data, they reject about 10% of applications, IIRC. no more info given there. other than we can assume they had a dr approve them. but maybe they didnt, maybe they forged a damn doctors signature. how big of a crime would that be. that HAS to be a felony. just saying.

and ive said before. when you get an rx for pain pills, that is usually strict as fook, i’d imagine. ONE refill of ten weakass pills. not UNLIMITED refills where you can go and buy 9000 doses of the drug every single day like you can with a MMJ card. you can go in and buy like 2 oz a day i think. 1 or 2 oz is the daily limit hahaha.

and i am sure there are cardholders who do that just to “re up” and sell to people without cards. would be interested in learning how the “legal” MMJ market has influenced the illegal market. not that its easy to get good data on illegal markets. has it made illegal MJ much cheaper? more in supply? better variety? more people selling? my guess is it really hasnt had any major impact at all, or else some reporter would have done a story about it in like the years since MMJ has been legal.

and i do know last year saw a 100% growth in our county of card holders since the year previous.

so does that mean the state will try to clamp down this year, or does that mean DOORS WIDE OPEN, BOYS!!!! YEEEEEHAWWWW!!!!!! those are two very different outcomes hahahaha. 180 opposite you could say.

ok sunday. go in tomorrow. get up at 5am. took 2 benedryl today, one at about 2 pm and another at about 5 pm. briefly dozed off around 4 pm, was so tired i couldnt even play cards or look at computer. has happened every day of the weekend hahahaha. its not like i am Starved for Sleep during the week either! but again i just wish i was tired like that when i went to bed at night and could just go to bed earlier and get a shitload of sleep for the day.

why not just go to a shady doc who prescribes shitloads of pain pills….because we established those docts are in short supply because of crackdowns by the dea, fedgov, etc. theres prob an automatic alert in fedgovs office whenever a doc prescribes over x pain pills a month.

state probably does NOT have anything similar for docs who do x number of MMJ certs a month.

how many falsified applications does the state get? i mean this isnt like a doctors prescription pad. its a pdf anyone can print off the state website. just need to know the doctors name, address, and license number….which i believe is all on the internet.

ive heard of local stings where a doctor would just prefill out hundreds of forms without seeing the patients. but that doctor was eventually caught and their license suspended. i wonder if anything happened ot the “patients.”

tfw your connection to the poker server is so shitty you keep dropping on a nice full 9 person table even though your internet isnt really bad per se, just your wireless. how do you get better wireless.

just fooking stupid. i dont need a fast connection, i just need a solid, unbroken connection, because there is action happening every second. folding, calling, checking, betting.

super frustrating. its not just the site, its just me. someimes it is just the site.  just sucks to WANT to play and to have a LOT of people on there who also want to play so you can have a nice 9 person table. doesnt’ happen all the time.

still fairly tired though. anticipate sleeping well tonight. just waiting till 8 pm to go lay down.

could not have internet like this if i were RUNNING A BUSINESS!!!!!

hopefully a reboot will help hahahaha.

ok rebooted and it did help. of course. it fixes everything. why? just because. no explanation. this is coming from a professional, paid computer expert. no reason.

well it did, for a minute, now its back to shitty again.

 

 

wed oct 18

march 2

commander rockwell at brown u in spring 1966, good sound quality

ok i was looking for a formal DEBATE, here is a long one with rockwell vs stokely carmichael, the famous black panther. NICE! i would guess that both groups would more or less agree on the need for Ethnonationalism. In other words, huhwhyte nationalists arent trying to stop black nationalists and support all peoples right to be nationalists

moderator is interrupting way too much, annoying, like tv news hahaha.

but yeah i need ot listen to more DEBATES. so i can get into more debates myself and WIN them. or at least feel good about how i performed hahaha. not at all close to being there. nothing but room for improvement.

valium party tonight, plan on taking 3. took 1 at around 420 hahaha. about to take another one in 15 minutes at 7 pm. then take another around 930.  then take a benedryl and go to bed.

so, was malcolm x joo wise? carmichael? thats a necessary step for nationalists of ANY race.

another thing i dont understand is how any woman who has had a baby can still be pro abortion and not vehemently against abortion.

heh. i was considering renting a car and driving 300 miles to see iron maiden in the summer. probably wont. but i def thought about it for a while. ideally they would play closer than 300 miles away. DAMN. in 2015 or early 2016 they did, but i was only as 1% as hot on maiden as i am now, and i am really kicking myself for missing that bucket list show.

i suppose drinking coffee along with muh 3 valiums defeats the purpose. i luv coffee though hahahaha. i would luv to drink coffee with a heap of strong MJ butter in it hahahaha. another bucket list thing.

poker tables dying down. played for quite a while, mainly lost. not a lot but no good big pots. what am i doing wrong? not betting aggressively enough?

take another valium in 15 mins. switched from iron maiden live to saor live:

not as good sound of course, would love to hear more professional audio on a saor live show. it cant be that hard.

similar to maiden, this is pretty feelgood, confidence-inspiring, alpha-male music.

valium is actually really cheap at the pharmacy. under 10 dollars for 60 tablets. i am more than ok with that. i could probably get an rx next time i go to the doc in aug. feel much more comfortable with that than trying to lie and get pain pills hahaha or asking the doc if they do MMJ recs, which they prob dont. besides i have a long history of anxiety and have gotten valium rx before, so i have more legit reasons hehehe. would just be concerned they would give me a super low rx, like 10 tablets a month or something.

ok had the 3rd valium taking me up to 15 mg for the day. i have read some internet forum saying you should ideally take 20 mg all at once (4 tabs) to really feel anything. right now i feel okay. pretty relaxed, mind is not really with thoughts and that always good. just enjoying saor in addition to maiden hehehe.

PLENTY of people have NO desire to do MJ. they just like drinking in moderation here and there, or not even that, they have no desire for MJ, drugs, alcohol, valium, nyquil, benedryl, ANYTHING. kinda jelly of them. all the time i am thinking about MJ. i guess its better than thinking about That Woman! interesting epiphany: at this time, i very probably think about MJ more than i think about her. i don’t think about her that much anymore thank GOD. but i think about MJ a LOT. every day.

what if some creep on the internet ordered a ton of drugs on the darknet and sent it to my home hehehehe in an attempt to get me busted. has that ever happened to ANYONE? some of the bigger dnm guys are sending out like 20 packages of stinky MJ EVERY DAY. how do they not get caught? and they probably have a LOT more risk than the people receiving the packages. cuz you cant really prove that you ordered the stuff. maybe you have an enemy out there who is trying to frame you.

heh. valium might actually be cheaper than benedryl. i think i might take a 4th valium right now. i mean this is kinda my last hurrah. i plan on cutting back in the very near future.  fook yeah. lets do it.

ok so i did it, took an unprecedented 4th valium. i mean i am honestly serious about cutting back starting very soon. and i still have a ton left. absolutely worse case scenario, i get some more in august at a very nice price. prob wont even start running low by then but if i do, i will save them for emergencies only. ie going out to socialize. i am very grateful to be in a job now where i dont even have to worry about taking valium just to survive the workday.  thank GOD. and i was too scared to take even 1 valium on those workdays. but i totally should have. it would have made it just a little bit easier.

shit. wish i didnt have a DRINKING PROBLEM so that i could have drank alcohol and actually Enjoyed it Semi-Responsibly well into my 30s and 40s and beyond, rather than being SO irresponsible with it in my 20s that i had to give it up ENTIRELY. so now im stuck wtih valium and MJ an benedryl. i would not be adverse to opiods either hehehe.

oxycodone is cheap af, oxycontin is not hahahaha. i guess roxycodone is same as oyxcodone. also fairly cheap…..with an rx.

i have heard that the same shit on less legit markets can cost you 60 times what you would pay at a pharmacy. so in other words, get an rx for 60 dollars then turn around and sell it to junkies for 3600 dollars.

is it REALLY that HARD to get an oxy/roxy rx from a shady doctor? that the same pills that are CHEAP at a pharmacy are INSANELY expensive on the street? it just doesnt seem worf it. it seems like it would be more worf it trying to scam shady doctors at “pain clinics”. a lot cheaper.

shit even VALIUM seems like it could be sold at 4 times the rx value. now thats no 60 times but its still yuge, i mean even normal retailers dont mark their shit up 100%, let alone 400%, let alone 6000%!!!!!!!!

so i just took 8 dollars worth of valium today. was it worf it? fook no! if i took 8 dollars of alcohol or even 8 dollars worth of MJ i would be out of my mind. but i actually spent more like 2 dollars on this vlaium. i guess thats a lot more worth it hahaha.

i guess its even cheaper to get large dose pills and splt them in half, according to goodrx.com which ive been referencing here. and possibly another more controversial site to estimate street prices hehehehe.

moral of the story: i need to find an unscrupulous doctor to write me large prescriptions for oxys and valiums hahaha. then get them CHEAP. and i bet that same unscrupulous dr might be willing to write an MMJ recommendation as well. did anyone ever think of this? going to shady pain doctors for MMJ recs?

maybe if i got hooked on pain pills that would be a legit reason to get an MMJ rec hahaha. but what if yu dont have ACTUAL pain, you are just hooked on pain pills?

hehehe i am actually considering abusing pain pills just so i can use that to build my case to get an MMJ card hahahahahahaha. how ridic is that.  see i MUST be in pain because ive been on these pain pills for months! and the SIDE EFFECTS from these drugs are painful, so give me MMJ. problem solved hahahaha.

god damn this jooish scheming for a jooish drug is really DEGENERATE.

so WHY ARE legal rxs of drugs like oxycodone so much ridiculously cheaper than the street versions of these same drugs? i mean they are the exact same drugs. its not like heroin getting cut with fentanyl, which believe me, is also a huge thing. maybe that would be cheaper than trying to buy Black Market oxycodone…..but def not cheaper than buying doc-prescribed oxycodone, which is DIRT CHEEP.

this suggests that its REALLY HARD to get a doc to write a script for these drugs. because probably they are being watched on how much they prescribe of a controlled substance. we all know doctors who have been convicted of crimes and sent to jail because they were prescribing too much oxys basically. cuz the second they prescribe them, the FEDS KNOW. so you can’t prescribe too much because the FEDS WILL KNOW IMMEDIATELY. databases and computers and clouds and shit.

not sure if the feds care as much about benzos like valium….but those still have a big markup on the black market.

basically one 5 mg valium is kinda like drinking 1.5 beers or less.

not very happy but still i like it more the more i listen to it. obv listened to this because i was listening to saor. this is remarkably diferent really. but still very good. much much darker. but still very very relaxing and chill. yet sorrowful and freezing. gets right back to the roots like burzum, any boorrtzum fan should enjoy this. and boy do i. the sorrowful, wistful, yearning melodies reach directly into your soul. very moving. very emo hahahaha.

oh yeah varg did a new long video about his year in iraq, very interesting and great video, certainly many people were wondering about that, and he told the story in a nice longer 25 minute video THANKS UNCLE VARG hahahaha.

but seriously its a great thing to be able to tell a good STORY. we need good stories and good storytellers. unfortunately ive never been able to do this….although ive desperately wanted to.

in a way, this blog is a rambling, 1433 page story hahahaha.

but also i havent experienced much that would MAKE a good story. pathetic, sad, unsympathetic stories, sure. like wow this guy is a loser and he sounds like an asshole too. get him away from me. take him away, this guy is totally worthless and useless.

had a weird dream last night where this gurl was throwing herself at me. she wasnt super qt, kinda potatoey, super crazy, but she was hwyte and under 25, so i was like ok fine, ill probably regret not taking this chance, so i did it, and it was all a setup fo some bullyboys to video tape me banging this “fat crazy skank” and make fun of me and put the video on the internet to humiliate me. (but wheres the shame in banging a 25 year old white gurl, even if she is fat and crazy?)

i then basically spent the rest of the dream whining “STOP BULLYING ME” to Cool Guys who were making fun of me. there was a brief period in grade school where i sorta felt like this, but nothing  worse than average i’d say. the dream was not pleasant though, i was just trying to get away from all the people mocking and making fun of me, but they were EVERYWHERE, and i felt very weak and angry and upset. also felt like i was drunk or drugged, and that was how i got roped into this stupid situation to begin with. somebody drugged me and then made me humiliate myself.

this could be because i had been a pill popping maniac the day before, taking an obscene 4 valium (20 mg total) and 2 ebendryl. so yeah i was in a deep kind of drugged sleep. but did not have really much of a hangover. and i went to bed late and got up earlier than you would expect. its “only” 12 pm now and i feel fine, no real hangover, just like welp maybe i could have slept a few more hours, but i had errands i wanted to do in the morning today. and i did them.

buying oxycodone or valium on the Street is expensive as fook. much worse value than buying MJ.  or alcohol. but i cant drink alcohol. and i want so badly to do mj. but i cant get it, all i have is valium. so i will enjoy the valium as much as i can. mainly on friday nights to partay on the start of my wekeend.

also i may be irritable because i am cutting way back on cigarets starting right now. hasnt gotten too bad. yet. for about a month i boosted up the cigarets significantly, now i want to get it back to the level they were at before, which was like less than one pack a week, with some days no cigarets at all.

ok roxicodone is a brand name of oxycodone and even the legal version of it is super goddamn expensive. generic oxycodone is muuchhhhhhh cheaper. a great deal, even.

how about trying to melt peanut butter in coffee? sounds weird but i dont think its any weirder than melter regular butter in coffee like i am drinking right now. bulletproof hahahaha. plus peanut butter has actual protein in it which i salways good.

heh. saw a guy who was selling 2 oz of MJ for 200 dollars. he said it wasnt the highest quality so dont complain about that, just enjoy the huge quantity for the price. no sorry it was 100 dollars. ARE YOU FOOKING KIDDING ME???? that really sounds too good to be true, unless it were the absolute worst birck dirtMJ lowest tier bottom of the barrel “schwag” you would find before “kind buds” een became a thing in the 2000s. there was a picture and it didnt really look that that, it looked fine.  i was like damn i would buy that RIGHT NOW if  could just give the money to a person and have them meet me and give me those goods. or me stop by their place and pick it up.

to see all these terrible deals on valium and pain pills and then this great deal on MJ. yes its prob low quality but i want to believe it would be closer to “mids” than “schwag”!

take this song and speed it DOWN by at least 25%. 50% would be ok if it didnt sound so damn distorted. that main first riff sounds better when it is slower. and its already not fast to begin with. they hinted at this on “origin of the feces” playing that riff once, super slow, but they didn’t capitalize on it enough IMHO.

actually it sounds ok at 50%, i got used to the distortion hahahaha. whole damn song. fast parts sound good slow too.

there is a super duper ridiculously nice huge park about 11 miles from my house which i should really go to at least once a week during the summer but i havent gone their in YEARS. this is really SAD. SAD. there are MILES of nature trails and wooded areas, a lake, i think a small beach, its clean and well regarded and not full of trash, there is a golf course, disc golf course, its literally huge. thousands of acres. yet i never go there. SAD. i mean ive been there but i should be going there at LEAST once a month. it does cost 10 dollars per car to get in though. it would be worthwhile to get a yearly pass for like 30 bucks then go once a week, twice a week during the summer. take muh plates up there and do MJ, benzos, and opioids with them and bang them in the forest hahahaha.  or find a nice hwyte hwyfu to walk around and have a Connection with whilst smokin MJ hahahaha and she wasnt thinking oh god this is lame this guy is lame i wish i was here with some cooler guy, welp this is the last time i do this.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/real-estate/1663768-building-home-acreage-where-start.html

see i would want to move where the white suburbs start to become officially boondocks, so i am not more than 10 miles from the nearest walmart in other words. and then have like 2 to 10 acres of land. with a small house on it, possibly a hwyte pride single wide trailer. not a big expensive house. just a small but sturdy house on a Couple Acres of land so i can go Out Back and go Shooting and puff MJ and maybe have a Boondocks Bonfire Party. make some noise and not be disturbing people. ideally enough space and privacy to play loud drums and black metal guitars without disturbing the neighbors. maybe have a small wooded area nearby where i could build a lean to and do MJ and be at one with nature. a crick. deer and rabbits and shit.  i would be 10 miles away from walmart and 30 miles away from the nearest nonwhite. my house would be small and hopefully as few costs as possible. but what about property taxes on the land. damn. i dont need a basement. i dont need 2 living rooms. i dont need 3 bedrooms. i just want 1 living room, 1 bedroom, maybe a smaller bedroom for kids and guests. maybe a small garage to put a car during the winter. i guess close enough to civilization so it wouldnt be a YUGE problem getting electricity, gas, water. nearest neighbor is at least half a mile away. maybe a country bar where the white men go on the weekends and sing country songs on karaoke. a place where everyone wears camo and owns guns. maybe in a place that doesnt get super duper cold. west virginia, kentucky, tennessee, carolina, appalachia, this seems like a good area.

i do google street view on some interesting neghborhoods where shit starts getting boondocky and there are lots of lebensraum between houses…..and the few houses are STILL gaudy mcmansions. people who wanted to live in the boondocks like me, which is smart…..but also want big stupid jooish mcmansions, which is jooish. i mean evne if i had that kind of money i wouldnt want that. dont average working class people live out here in average, small, working class houses? how about a small 1000 sq ft house? thats what i am talking about.

tiny houses are gay, big houses are jooish, SMALL houses are just right. 1000 sq feet. 900. not sure where it becomes tiny. prob wouldnt want to go below 600. i guess tiny is below 500. ok so just give me 900. current home is….about 1300 sq ft. way too big. could easily go down to 1000. previous home where i spent childhood was about 800 sq ft. perfect size. not sure if this included the basement and the second floor. so yeah. 800 is the perfect size. back in the good old days, houses used to be closer to 800 sq ft than 3000 sq ft mcmansions. fook that shit. like these people can afford those anyway. that is why they are paying like 5000 dollars a month on a jooish mortgage and end up foreclosing.

how do you get a single wide trailer thats not in a trailer park, ie packed in like sardines with other trailer trash? do you “just” buy land in the country, like 2 acres at least, and then build a small house or small manufactured home/trailer on top of it? probably. i wouldnt mind living in a small trailer but i dont want to live in a trailer PARK with a bunch of trailer trash on meth and booze and drugs and having mudshark kids and at best, smokin too much weed and being fat and obese and just stupid worst whites ever. we can do better than this. of course this is what fatherlessness does even to white people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE C0CK LADDER

feb 28

huge amazon aws s3 outage today which “broke the internet” hahaha.

today i learned that john mctiernan, who directed such classics as DIE HARD, hunt for red october, and predator, was in federal prison in 2013-14 for some kind of wire tap charge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McTiernan

he got out and is still alive but hasnt made a movie since 2003’s Basic, which i did not see. but i was just thinking about what a great movie die hard is and i totally forgot mctiernan also did the great hunt for red october, also a great movie, really knows how to make a good thriller, action, suspense story with good story and characters, and i should try to make an effort to watch more of his films, he does this very well. he also did last action hero, which i thoroughly enjoyed.

also die hard with a vengeance. that was good and he did that. but not 2, 4, or 5. have not seen 4 or 5. maybe i should. well, i saw part of 2 and it seemed ok.

ideally would have a nice waifu to cuddle with and watch die hard, and that i feel about her on a level comparable to how i felt about That Woman, and that This New Woman would have some sort of feelings for me and want to make an effort to cuddle with me and watch die hard more than she’d rather be out “hanging out” ie fooking and sucking and sexting other guys. especially black guys hahahaha.

have you ever had a woman you LUVED reject you harshly but NOT reject black guys? she loves and makes an effort with black guys but cant lift a finger for you. i can tell you getting RACECUCKED like that is never fun. adds insult to injury. its bad enough that they would rather be with other men than you, period, and when its a black or nonwhite guy, but esp black, it feels even worse.

not that i hate black people. i get along very well with this middle aged black woman i see several times a week, and she is pretty damn black. like super black acting. talks with super ebonics like she grew up super poor in the hood. i am sort of curious if she has any keeds dead or in jail. i guess she has a husband which is kinda surprising. well good for them, families are good for blacks as well as whites. families are good for ALL races.

took 2 benedryl today, trying to “self soothe” before bed by NOT watching news. watching news gets me hyped up and not really relaxed. also ive decided its pointless to try to go to bed at 7 because im not even near tired at that time. might as well go to bed at 9 and play some more cards and try to calm self down.

today came home, took first benedryl around 3 o clock, by 4 o clock i was dead tired and couldnt even keep my eyes open. wish i felt like that at 7 or 8! i actually took a powernap for like 30 or 45 minutes. woke up like 515, took another benedryl, played some more cards, of course wish i had some mj but oh well. maybe i should buy some on a dark market hahahahahahaha. no i wouldnt do that. its illegal and i dont condone illegal activities. plus id be way too paranoid and scared. as i should be.

but yeah, its KEY to CALM YOURSELF before going to bed like fatherland jim said, youd think kids would learn this naturally, but many dont. i certainly never did. i later turned to terrible things like alcohol, MJ, and porn to help “self soothe”.  all these are bad with MJ being the least bad. but yes porn. oh. watch 10 minutes and crank one out to GET READY FOR BED, cant SLEEP, cant clear your mind untill youve CRANKED ONE OUT.

well its still not a terrible thing to do…….just dont use PORN to do it. stop watching porn. dont necessarily have to stop jerking off. but porn makes you want to jerk off TO porn EVERY DAY. and this is just TERRIBLE.

STOP WATCHING PORN. this is so much more important than “nofap.” do noporn instead.

MARCH 1

wewlad am i thankful i am not thinking about that woman NEARLY as much as i did even 6 or 7 months ago. 7 short months ago i was thinking about her like 2 hours a day. now i barely think about her for a minute a day. it takes a LONG TIME (1 year and 7 months) but time eventually DOES heal all wounds. now if i saw her again right now, shit yeah that would suck. because you would ALWAYS take them back. i’d probably take her back 5 years from now when she is either a huge winner or a huge loser.

but yeah this new job even though its nothing to be proud of as a man…..is still a giant leap forward from being a horrible neet. i dont have terrible dread and anixety of HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE THIS DAY? every single day. what am i gonna say to these people, how am i gonna fix or pretend to fix or pass the buck on these complicated problems i dont understand? how come that dumb woman can handle this so much better than i can? how come she wont hang out with me any more? and the only saving grace was the MJ i was able to get from her. she was willing to do that at least. i guess that is how she showed her willingness to do something for me, that she was too immature to express in a better way. i would have much rather just hung out with her and had an honest conversation rather than have her get MJ for me.

this is what happens when fathers abandon their daughters. its TRAGIC. if by some MIRACLE they dont turn into huge sluts, and most of them do, then they will be like scared children in other ways, and will hurt you in ways they don’t even intend to.

heh. believe me. i knew about her father situation from the very beginning so i assumed she WAS a crazy slut. and then i got to know her better and found out she was surprisingly well adjusted for a gurl wihtout a father!

takeaway is that if she did have a good father, she probably wouldnt have handled the thing with me the way she did, which was not at all hahahaha.  her having a father would have helped ME quite a bit. and would have helped HER immensely. CHILDREN NEED GOOD FATHERS. PERIOD.

i dont even hate her, i totally understand why she essentially shit the bed here, i kinda did too. it was devastating, i was very very upset, i thought about it a super lot for a very long time, i didnt come to any big conclusions other than what i already knew: in tough stressful situations, people CHOKE. good people choke and can really let other people down even when they dont INTEND to. esp when there is luv on the line hahaha. i mean the lesson i learned is, blurt that shit out immediately. dont wait a couple months. just blurt it out and send them a text if they dont want to hang out with you. if they dont want to hang out with you, chances are they picked up on your feelings and just want to ignore and avoid it because its weird for them. you’ll probably still want to tell them. so tell them, rip the bandaid off, and move on with your lives. take 1.7 years of no contact to get over it. the end. very simple hahahaha.

here we go, nice 2 hour show, rock in rio, 2001, decent sound, another rio show has terrible sound. crowd is much more high energy than german crowd in rock am ring.

oh god now im just getting creepy af. i am stalking my work colleagues daughters who are in their 20s and very successful with graduate degrees and great careers making lots of money and establishing themselves very well before age 28, never fooking up, working hard and reaping the rewards. i saw a picture of the older daughter and her husband and i was like, holy shit i think i know that guy. he looks a lot like the brother of an old friend i dont really talk to anymore but his whole fookin family is great great great (and hwyte) people.  very principled and ethical and kind and moral and exactly the type of people that should be having many many many hwyte children. it would be nice for me to contact the older brother i knew. he already has several beautiful hwyte children. so i stalked the younger brother knowing his name of course. only can find 2 public pictures of him with his wife, who is not unattractive hahaha. anyway the younger brother is also a good guy, but a little more on the intellectual side. still a great guy. whole family is AWESOME, no fookups there. even though the older one, well we used to drink a lot hahaha. and he turned out just fine too.

somehow i found out the daughters name and looked up both their names together. i was looking for a wedding announcement but couldnt find. felt creepy stalking this work womans daughter. a successful, attractive professional. she has several children who both quickly got valuable graduate degrees and making like 70k a year by age 26. now she is a very nice good woman and i dont doubt her children and family are the same, i am just a little envious of young people who have their SHIT TOGETHER so well.

now im trying to think of a way to ask the woman, hey is your daughter married to so and so? because how do i explain that one. the impetus was i was watching this 1 minute biography video my colleague did where she had 2 seconds with a photo of her daughter and her husband. kind of a blurry picture. naturally i paused it to gawk at her daughters and the men they chose. and the one guy looked immediately familiar even though its blurry.

now i havent had a great record with blurry pictures. like 3 days ago i looked at a blurry picture of 60 people trying to find that Woman and saw a woman that Kinda Looked like that woman. however that picture was a lot blurrier than this one, so i can say with MUCH more confidence that this man is actually who i think it is.

now he’s a great guy so i have no doubt the daughter chose wisely. but i wasnt nearly as close with this guy as i was with his brother. his brother would just come around and hang out with us sometimes but not all the time. i mean he had his own healthy social and work and school life too.

so basically a SMALL WORLD story here, you see those all the time, but I personally don’t, so its pretty interesting to me.

if i were friends with the guy on facebook, i could easily see pictures of him with his wife and find out more about his wife, and confirm it is the daughter. but i wasnt fb friends with him and i havent even been on fb in 2 years hahahaha.

but yeah. i wish i were more like ANY of these people. those men, or the woman’s daughters. hard working, motivated, persistent, high achieving, making good money in good careers by age 26, having happy lives, happily married, having children.

funny, these daughters are successful high powered highly educated career women, as is the mother, but like the mother, i imagine that they ALSO want to have a husband and children and are not interested in the CC, or, to coin a term, the Cock LADDER. they want the career AND the family, but they aren’t indecently, hypergamously dumping husbands and trying to climb the cock ladder the way they are trying to climb the career ladder.

shit they’re already at the top of the career ladder by age 30.

but the mother has been married for like 30 years, married only once as far as i know, and i feel her good values rubbed off on her daughters. successful educated career women who, despite that, STILL get married pretty young and start having BABIES young. wow. it DOES happen folks, despite all the black pilling we hear about childless cat ladies.

ok, maybe the daughter should have started having children before age 30, shit i dont even know how old she is, i know how old the supposed husband is. basically my age hahahaha. well i think hes a wee bit older. not much though. he’s at a very age-appropriate level of his career. doesnt have the same credentials and prob makes less than she does, but he is prob about equally as ambitious and hard working. he got a useless degree like me but through busting his ass and persistence and confidence, he still made something of himself. having a qt low number gf-then-waifu probably didnt hurt his confidence hahaha. but he prob already had established himself a bit by the time he met her, to pull a Confident Ambitious Career Woman like that. which is always a big risk, but, like i say, I think this girl was raised properly.

its just weird to see ambitious, successful, actually COMPETENT and smart career women, who are ALSO interested in babies and family and not fooking over their husbands and children, and in being good wives and mothers. it can be done. also a good example that Not All Women Are Like That hahaha. if i were a mgtow pvssy i would be totally hemming and hawing like a J about all this hahaha.

818 on a Work Night. not going to bed at 7pm, but around 9pm. trying to relax and calm my mind now by writing, playing some cards, and NOT watching the news. just watching some police procedural show with the volume turned down very low. listened to some maiden earlier but doing so now would just get me too pumped up before bed.

george lincoln rockwell. i should listen and read more to him. ive listened to a few speeches and interviews and liked them. i just keep forgetting about him.

this one is prob pretty good hahahaha. not confirmed. i can confirm he was a great speaker, was very J wise, and wow people are applauding him at UCLA in 1967. well i guess things didnt start getting really J’d until 1968. well how did he feel about vietnam hehehe. ok sounds like he was against it. but not because he luved commies and hated americans.

i know that he hated commies and traitors, and his wife left him for his beliefs, the navy took away his pension for his beliefs, and he was assassinated at too young of an age by antifa.

holy shit, very good speaker. shit you cant even get richard spencer at UCLA or Brown like Rockwell was. not bashing Spencer. just saying he is a WEE BIT lower energy than Rockwell, and that universities have gotten even worse on Freeze Peach.

so yeah his stuff is just as relevant now as it was then. really should spend money to get his books.

well isnt it principled of an official UCLA youtube channel to post the GLR speech at UCLA hahahaha. im sure they say its so people can have a record of this foaming venomous HATE, a chilling reminder etc, like how people talk about triumph of the will. a chilling reminder hehehe.

fook that shit i watch it for fun and good feels and inspiration hahahaha.

ok i guess he was killed by a disgruntled member of his party. probably a fed hahahahahahaha.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margr%C3%A9t_%C3%9E%C3%B3ra_Hallgr%C3%ADmsson

holy shit his wife is still alive and they had 3 children. begs the question haahahha.

hope GLR was a good father to them. i know Dr Pierce was not a great father to his children and thats the one thing I dont like about Pierce.

now the ANP never really went anywhere and i dont know. maybe the time wasnt right. but stuff like DS and TRS are much much more relevant and valuable and powerful. better optics, better people hehehe. but GLR was a total top goy. we can all learn something from this wise and courageous man.  and war hero.

really hankering for another public appearance by some good goys, like what spencer did at TAMU like 3 months ago. we need shit like that EVERY DAY, not every few MONTHS. i think spencers planning something though. i hope.

would be nice to have a nice low number gf to cuddle and listen to GLR speeches for hours. watch die hard. watch triumph of the will. knowing that she liked hanging out with me more than with tons of other guys.