HAPPY NEW CURRENT YEAR

 

dec 31 2016

wish saor hadnt shut down the idea of playing moar live shows. i guess its a lot of trouble for him and not worf it. well just play 2 shows a year instead of 4 shows hahaha. dont go on tour ever. just play one off shows every 4,5,6 months. imho he is too good to not play live. also the music is pretty good Live Music because its pretty epic.

great guy this Andy Marshall. Man of the month. probably man of the q4 hahaha. His music gives me feels I didnt even think were possible. reaches me in a way i didn’t think new music even COULD, my heart was closed off to new music. but he has broken through this icebox. GOD BLESS HIM hahahaha.

how did it take me until 2016 to discover this guy. he has been releasing albums every year since like 2009 hahahaha. highly regarded albums.

well, saor has only really been A Thing since 2013.

heh. pulled the trigger and bought the SAOR Guardians shirt

https://saor.bandcamp.com/merch/guardians-t-shirt

which was like 25.33 us dollars. dont want to spend money like a damn negro but…..i think i am ready to go all in with muh boifran andy marshall here. i didnt think new music could reach me but he proved me wrong. keep up the good work lad, heres some money for a sweet tshirt.

go buy one yourself and for your alt right waifu at the link above.

note: saor is not explicitly alt right and is probably horrified and disgusted by white racism like my own. HOWEVER his beautiful MUSIC embodies everything great about huhwhytes. this is exactly what i mean when i say that black metal is inherently huhwhyte. i dont even think you can say “implicit” because it’s a little bit more than merely implicit!!!

i wrote him a 300 character message kissing his ass and cupping his scottish balls about how great and inspirational his music is. because it really kind of IS.

AND he is playing shows in 2017. glad on that. i know shows can be a pain in the ass, but his stuff is too good for him not to play 1 show a year on his own terms. so far he has 3 shows lined up for july. dont want him to burn himself out but this is probably the best time of year for shows. DONT BURN YOURSELF OUT LAD.

of course i love that he is SCOTTISH. and that i was specifically looking for Scottish Atmospheric Epic Black Metal, and he delivered EXACTLY what I was looking for, and THEN SOME. he SURPASSED my expectations when 99.9% of music comes in WAY BELOW my minimal expectations. WEWLAD.

go give him your money hahahahaha. encourage him to make babies with scottish gurls.

that feel when you steal a glimpse of the private parish Prayer List and discover YOU are on there for being “unemployed for 1 and half years.” YIKES. alongside everyone else who is DYING OF STAGE 4 TERMINAL CANCER. pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, colon cancer, brain tumors, brain cancer, lung cancer, the whole 9 yards. I am surprised the parish is even still around, because it seems like every WEEK 2% of the parish DIES OF CANCER. its insane. looking at this list, it’s like 50% of the parish has CANCER.

and to think i’m right up there with muh 1.5 years of unemployment. hopefully they take me off the list now that i’ve gotten a 13k a year job! hahahaha.

it doesnt feel that serious but in a way it IS that serious. you’re a grown adult, this is what you HAVE to do. make 25k a year or its as bad as terminal cancer.

and I like pity and sympathy, but that almost seems like too much! and i believe in the power of prayer……but i also recognize that its DESPERATE as hell! and i would like to not be that desperate…..but I AM!!!!! and I have become comfortable with my desperation. its become a laughing matter! shit yeah i’m so desperate for a job or a woman that I will take the bottom of the barrel! I’m literally HOPELESS fam, i am beyond all help, better take me to damn LOURDES, i literally need a MIRACLE. there is nothing humans or myself can do to help my situation, i need a damn MIRACLE from GOD.

in a way its like people have thrown up their hands and said “i just dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried everything and im so close to giving up.”

i should have not looked at the damn list. its a private list, not like anybody can see it. and i was on the second page. if i just looked at the first page, never would have seen it.

oh well. that happened. and hopefully within 1 month i will be off the list of desperate dying hopeless people.

new years eve. auld lang syne. thats a SCOTTISH thing. robert burns. RESPECT!

no im not scottish at all, but they are one of my favorite white ethnicities hahahaha. i mean i like ALL whites but some get special recognition by me hahahaha. for me its poles, in some ways all slavs, scands, and now scots. i suspect it will be a lifelong journey of appreciation as i come to appreciate each kind of white in due course.

bought the large tshirt, not extra large, as motivation to keep my body at a large tshirt size. dont want to go back to extra large body!!!!!!

gonna maybe try to “clean up” that live saor thing above with audacity esp for the benefit of the song which comes from his album “roots”…………….which uses a damn drum machine. but the live show is the guy who played on the “guardians” album. plays in this other scottish black metal band with a damn gaeldighd name hahahahaha. that is quite longer than “saor.”

there is another saor live show where they are wearing KILTS, good job lads.

another full show. not sure which one will have better sound. my intuition says the indoor show but i could be wrong. like maybe too much sound bouncing off walls, and outdoors it dissipates.

great guy, yeah ill gladly jerk him off hahahahahahaha. mancrush o clock.

wolves in the throne room, playing show in dec 2016. i thought they were done. i totally respect their music. i totally disrespect their communist, leftist, antiwhite ideology. its such dissonance to get antiwhite ideology with such huhwhyte sounding MUSIC. because for me, its another great of example of Black Metal Is Inherently White Music. but these shitlibs would lecture you for 60000000000000000 hours on why that is so problematic and wrong.

ANYWAY, i think this is a good way to play a show when you dont want to emphasize Your Personal Celebrity. just dim the fook out of the lights so you cant really see their faces.

like MGLA for example plays in these ridiculous hoods. i totally get what they are trying to say………i just think it would be hot and sweaty and uncomfortable as fook to wear that shit in a 100 degree club. just turn down the lights, dim the lights, use blue lights, and nobody will be able to see your face anyway.

later.

welp. lost my 4.00 chip stack at the tables hahaha. thats usually a good sign for me to quit for the day. but because its NYE, i am back in for 4. heheheh. i am not a good gambler. i am down 130 dollars over the past 3 years on Poker Alone. not terrible for 3 years, only lose 43 dollars a year hahahahaha. but uhhh obviously making 1 dollar a year would be much much much better. i am LOSING OVER THE LONG TERM. when i should be winning. even the SMALLEST amount. 1 dollar a year. i can’t even make 1 dollar a year. i made 150 dollars a year on goddamn mTurk.

janu 1

holy shit, patreon just jsut down emily youcis for being pro-white. well….the page is just 404. but i KNOW thats what happened.

https://twitter.com/realemilyyoucis?lang=en

yep thats exactly what happened. maybe twitter will be next.

so in retaliation i sent her a d’nation on paypal.

found my “anonymous alt right” paypal was giving me same error sending to her, as when i tried sending to TRS a few days ago. thought hmm maybe the problem is me.

signed in with my NORMIE, DOXXED, REAL NAME paypal and the donation went though JUST FINE.

PAYPAL HAS SHUT DOWN MY PRIVATE ANON ACCOUNT, FORCING ME TO USE MY REAL NAME.

I do not like that at ALL. How dare they shut ME down just because I wanted to use an anon name with my normie credit card.  I trust Emily Youcis will not dox me, but its just the principle of the matter.

anyway you can find her paypal gmail address on the internet and it works as of today.

Hello Emily, sorry about the pathetically low amount. I just signed up to your (((((Patreon))))) in December, and it’s a shame what they did to that. Hope you find a nice goy husbando and have 1488 babies. Contact me if you have any trouble with that. . . . . . . . . but you shouldn’t. One great thing about Women in the Movement is that I think Women can speak to other Women very well and encourage wholesome, moral behavior among other women. Please get on Daily Shoah or Fatherland. Please record talks with Andrew Anglin and Weev. Please do not become a dumpster fire like Sinead, hahahahahaha. HAPPY NEW CURRENT YEAR!!!!! – alt right pseudonym (please no dox, I think Paypal has SHUT DOWN my “anonymous” account)

here’s the message i sent to HWYTE HWYFU EMILY with my generous 6.16 d’nation hahahahaha.

good lord. bitcoin STILL going up. 993. probably hit 1000. damn. welp, i dont have any more to sell. the end.

YUGE PROTIP LIFEHACK: instead of wearing your scarf wrapped “horizontally” around your neck, wear it “vertically” wrapped about your entire head! so it covers your neck, parts of your face, your ears. makes SO MUCH SENSE and I NEVER thought of it until I saw an old movie on TCM where a guy was wearing a scarf like that.

I am HORRIBLE at stuff like that. thinking outside of the box. unknown unknowns. because i had never seen anyone IRL wearing a scarf like that, so I never even THOUGHT of wearing my scarf like that until I saw it in a random MOVIE.

its REALLY fookin shady that paypal is doing SOME sort of restriction on my alt right account, BUT HASNT SAID ANYTHING TO ME AT ALL. no emails to any of the emails I used with that account, no messages when I log fooking in. At least when WordPress shuts me down they put an unmissable message on my dashboard hahahahaha. and then it is only for going over 99 scheduled poasts hahahahahah. im actually surprised they havent shut me down for “h8 speach”.

but yeah nothing from paypal. no notifications, no messages, just errors whenever i try to send that give no indication of the nature of the error. no doubt they have put me on a list so that i pretty much HAVE to contact them to find out what is going on. flagged. absolutely nothing. the ball is in my court, they are WATCHING me, waiting for me to make the first EXPLICIT move to their more implicit move. DAMN.

yep there it goes, bitcoin just went over 1000!!!!!!! jan 1 2017

anyway. i guess 2016 was a better year than 2015!

yeah it really was.

went the whole year without contacting That Woman.

Went the Whole Year without intentionally looking at Porn. Essentially Quit Porn in Oct 2015 or so.

Lost 35 pounds in 2016.

Got New Job in 2016.

I mean 2016 wasnt GREAT because I was still a jobless neet for 88% of the year.

but it was better than 2015, where I actively had a meltdown/breakdown. Lost That Woman, Lost Muh Job, was so devastated I could barely move. that was 2015. so yeah, 2016 was a LOT LOT LOT better than 2015.

end of 2015, i was BARELY getting over that woman AT ALL.

end of 2016, I was WELL OVER HALFWAY there hahahaha.

something about going through a FULL YEAR without them. january thru december. definitely made real progress.

uh i was good about going to Gym for some of the year, until it got nice outside, then i just went outside. i was actually really good about going to the Gym for the last 3 months of 2015 actually.

was shitty as fook in 2015 about jobsearching. in 2016 I got a lot lot lot better and did 99% of my jobsearch. and eventually got a job before the end of the year. THANK GOD.

uhh accomplished some decent stuff with muh mint personal finance in the last few years of 2016, just being more descriptive with categories, painting a more detailed picture of income and expenses, when i had kinda forgotten about mint for a while. but its really pretty good.

so yeah even though i was pretty much in a Rut for most of 2016….it was still better than 2015. 2015 in general being worse than 2014 hehehehehe. 2015 was a REAL bad year. relative minimum. good to have an….OK year after that. and HOPEFULLY 2017 is better than 2016 cuz i will be working. and hopefully not gaining 35 pounds. or melting down.

sheeeeeit i think i am getting a PRE-COLD. beginnings of swelling and irritation in the throat.  why couldnt i get this a few days ago. didnt even go out and socialize for NYE. watched the degenerates on TV and said get a room, you degenerate phaggots. why dont you just do a gangbang in times square, you degenerate cvm guzzling wh0re.

this is how i always worried i would feel about a woman if i were ever to get a GF. yet i savagely bash women for when they feel this way with a man, the unknown feeling that something doesnt feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel quite right, i dont feeeeeeeel haaaaaappppy, and i dont know what it is.

well because i saw women as having terrible intuition and horribly unrealistic expectations, who would dump a Good Man for the shittiest reasons.

and I saw myself as having realistic standards, yet still settling for less out of desperation. and just suffering through a boring, unsatisfying relship because i thought that’s what reality was supposed to be.

when really reality is somewhere in the middle. you SHOULD feel a Honeymoon Period at least for your GF, and she should feel the same for you. after 18 months tops this feeling goes away.

well, for me i could see it lasting 18 months, for women it usually lasts no more than 3 months. but they still get it.

I had that fear ever since i was like 16. then I finally got Honeymoon Feelings for a real woman when I was 20. then another women when i was 21. then another 2 women when i was 22. then another woman when i was 23. then another woman when i was 24. then another woman when i was 26 or 27. then another woman when i was 31. and thats all folks hahahahahahahaha.

so yeah basically yeah i am allowed to have some sort of intuition about a woman, which grants her the right to have some sort of intuition about me, about men, about a relship. but i just think that my intuition is right while theirs is way way way wrong and entitled and unrealistic and stupid.

but the reality is, Honeymoon Phase IS real and I am entitled to expect it with a GF/Waifu, esp if i experienced it with those other sluts hahahaha.  and yeah fine i concede that women are entitled to a honeymoon period of their own. honeymoon period is a standard thing of standard relships.

of course the phag enablers jump on it as a chance to proselytize gayness.

oh dear lord. monty python holy grail. honestly a great classic movie you should watch with your waifu. i have made parallels to my Previous job before, like the two guards in the castle tower with prince herbert, misunderstanding simple instructions.

ok how about when arthur talks to the crazy cackling old man, seek ye the bridge of death, and arthur is increasingly more direct in trying to gain confirmation: this cave, does it lead to the bridge? the bridge, does it lead towards the HOLY GRAIL, yes or no? and the old man just cackles and disappears. kinda reminds me of dealing with my superiors when i was trying to get help from them. I was trying to think 3 steps ahead and trying to pull teeth out of them, imagining possible unknown unknowns, and they would just leave me hanging.

in their defense i dont think they did it intentionally or were jolly about it. they were all run ragged just like me.

anyway. when you have to dump somebody you just dont feeeeeeeeeeeel right with, you BETTER take YUGE pains to dump them as gently and kindly as possible, because they will be DEVASTATED. also, don’t cavalierly mention how they came BEGGING to have you back YEARS later, like this one bitch in the thread mentions. yeah, because you broke his poor heart and he couldnt live without you and you did a SHITTY job of dumping him! RESPECT HIS PAIN!!!! dont just say, oh yeah im so great guys are devastated when i dump them and come BEGGING for me YEARS later, but i know to say no again because it just doesnt FEEEEEEEL Right. its exactly these kind of women that give a bad name to womens intiution and something not feeling right.

basically it was that same feeling that told me i was Really In Luv with a woman. that i had gone all in with her. that made me gamble everything for a chance with her. went all in and lost. i dont blame or hate them. i got over it all. but just saying. i dont want to NOT have that feeling for muh waifu. Honeymoon Period, Infatuation……or TRVE LUV. whatever you want to call it. I dont think it cheapens true luv to call it that. I think women burning out their infatuation oxytocin receptors for cheap cok thrills, that cheapens true luv.

they dont really go all in. i went in. they just want to hit the jackpot over and over and over just by FOLDING. doesnt work that way. you gotta go all in to get the real jackpot.

take it from the losing gambler hahahaha.

well, its good that you feel guilt for dumping someone and breaking their heart. did you try to be gentle to them? are you still leading them on? did you really try your best to end the rel in as mature of a way as possible, using a shrink maybe?

so she hits him with an unreasonable request, he says, ok thats big, but i will try to learn to cope with this, then she gets mad at THAT, and says NO, you dont GET to try to cope with this, you must accept it as final with no expectations. you’re not FEELING the right way about this. holy shit.

thankfully reddit is ok here, and gives him the voice of reason that he is entitled to feel bad about this and she doesn’t get to make him feel bad for feeling bad! jesus christ!!!!!!!! how about YOU make an effort cupcake! how about YOU accept that this is gonna hurt him! you telling him unilaterally that you dont want to have secs with him any more! instead of you getting mad at him for being upset about that BOMB you just dropped on him! god damn!

im glad he was able to overcome his issues at age 30, and get a decent job and aso a 26 yo GF who isnt a huge slut. but now they are having big problems hehehehehe.

check out this SUPREME GENTLEMAN hahahaha enjoy your virginity incel neet loser. think it sucks at 20? wait til youre 30 hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE. thats what i have.

anxious with possibly avoidant on top of that hahahaha.

because maybe he didnt think his luvly GF was the type of woman who could murder her baby and then think HE was weird because he thought murdering your baby was bad! and she has not grown at ALL since the experience, shown NO remorse, and obviously is the same baby-murdering bitch she was 5 years ago, and probably always will be!

its not BIZARRE at all! it’s horrible that you THINK its bizzarre!!!!!! why not feel even a LITTLE bit bad for murdering your own baby?

hehehehe. you can see that I am strong PRO-LIFE, ANTI-CHOICE. ANTI-MURDER.

if you’re gonna have an abortion……let it CHANGE you. feel deep REMORSE for it. resolve to never do it again. to become a better person. repent for your huge sin. learn that abortion is horrible and you NEVER want to do it again. Become anti-choice and pro-life. not like OP hahahaha.

the fact that you see this as on the same level as having the FLU is DISGUSTING, APPALLING, DISGRACEFUL, ABHORRENT, DEPLORABLE, ABOMINABLE, HORRIFYING. TOTAL MORAL INVERSION. PURE JOOISH EVIL. I BET this gurl is a J

of course, reddit luvs murdering babies so they call the guy an asshole. fook reddit hahahaha.

mention the interesting idea of guys who are “pro choice in theory, but pro life within their relationships.” and then talk about what disgusting woman hating hypocrites these guys are hahahaha. sheeeeeit I hope more of the pro-choice guys are like this. it might be enough to turn them pro-life.

NEVER DATE A WOMAN WHO SAYS SHE IS PRO-CHOICE.

If she asks you if you are pro-choice or pro-life, just say you are pro-life.

ALL pro-choice women are fooked up. They might not be BEYOND REDEMPTION but by GOD it’s NOT YOUR JOB to redeem them. way above your pay grade hahahahaha. you’ve have an easier time redeeming a slut or mudshark than a damn baby murderer hahahahaha. I’m talking about one who wasn’t already on the road to redemption thru her own rightfully guilty conscience. thankfully that happens to a lot of women who murder their babies. they get a rightful guilty conscience about it, and eventually become pro-life and redeem themselves. but half of them don’t, and become evil wimmin on reddit hahahahaha.

anyway dont date wimmin who do not have SERIOUS Moral Reservations against Abortion. NEVER date a vocal, activist, pro-choice woman. if they are undecided that is ok. that means they are uncomfortable with baby murder. as they should be. they are open to questioning the pro-choice bullshit which has been shoved down peoples throats since roe v wade.

you can usually spot the pro choice woman because they will eventually make a pro-choice statement, unprompted, before too long. like oh that woman hater trump is gonna overturn roe v wade and it will be a war on women! that kind of bullshit hahahaha.

Dont be Anti-Life. Be Anti-Choice. Be Anti-Murder.

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