MEN NEED PRACTICE, WOMEN DON’T

aug 7

sheeeeeeeit. stupid interview tomorrow. welp is it a call center. do you have time to research problems and call a person back. is your ready and not ready time measured constantly. do you spend more than 50% of the day with inbound phone calls.

i don’t think so (THANK GOD) but then again, they wouldnt usually SAY.

is it a call center basically? yes or no. simple question.

i am sure there would be phone calls. phone calls per SE are not the problem. its the constant stream of phone calls where you have to fix things you dont know how to fix.

WOULD I BE ABLE TO SHADOW A PERSON in this role or a similar one for 30 minutes after our interview? hehehehe

if you think im so damn SMART and ARTICULATE and GOOD COMMUNICATOR, then HIRE ME. Although it IS nice to hear those compliments about me, because I do worry I am not smart or articulate enough to be WORTHY of a 28k entry level job.

had a nice valium nyquil mix last night ahahhahahahah yeah thats horrible. but it was a tiny 5 mg valium and a half dose of nyquil. had nice deep sleep. it was great. had a dream where i was having a birthday party and everyone was being super nice to me. there were no young attractive women there but oh well. who cares about attractive young women haha.  not me. they can all go suck cox in hell hahaha.

did 3.6 mile powerwalk at 1 pm on sunday afternoon, very sunny, i am obsessed that the early afternoon sun gives better vitamin d than the 6 or 7 pm sun.

began printing out my what to say during interview file. it is like 110 pages long of size 12 font, single spaced, .5 inch margins hehehehe.

i didnt want to print smaller than 12 font because it does strain the eyes.

so print out 10 pages at a time hahaha.

the most important book is the one you write hahahaha.

well THIS huge book i’ve written, ie the one that consists of 3 or 4 serious intense blogs and THOUSANDS of pages of bitching and whining, yeah this book has gotten me nowhere hahaha.

but the OTHER book, the 100 page what to say to PWN the interview file, well that one will actually HELP me in my goal of getting a 14 an hour job. I just didnt think I’d have to do like 20 interviews first.

was i butthurt and assmad 6 months ago? absolutely! reading the stuff i wrote in jan/feb i can see how fresh tha pain was, it was still a gushing open wound. and it was just embarrassing and pathetic. now i am def better. still butthurt but not AS bad. a LOT better. its really not complicated. she just didnt want to deal with a difficult situation, so she ran away. period. fight or flight. thats ALL it is. but shit yeah it was painful for me. but there’s nothing to really overanalyze. its really quite SIMPLE!

i like listening to no1 ryan give his military perspective on things like combat life or death situations. he is a really cool nice funny guy and i have a mancrush on him, but he also happens to be a Marine Officer, which is pretty hardcore. 90% of marines are huge douchebag assholes and I am sure he can Hang with them, but he also seems to be a genuinely nice guy. BUT he is also hardcore, tough, masculine, pretty sure he’s K’d people (enemies), and I trust his Leadership Authority. I would let him lead me hahahaha.

but yeah these are all very interesting topics so I am happy to hear him talk about them on the fatherland and on his own show even moreso. (nationalist review.)

what did he say. train like you fight, fight like you train.

meaning you don’t necessarily “rise to the occasion” as much as you sink down to the level you’ve been trained at.

when the shit hits the fan and its life or death, you dont have the TIME or INFORMATION to THINK. you have to act RIGHT AWAY, not really acting but REACTING, so you are not necessarily at the top of your game. if you have shitty training, in other words, you are likely to panic and make the wrong decision. if you have great training, you are more likely to have a kind of muscle memory for that and react in a good way, rather than screw everything up, costing you your life, or the lives of your men.

in other words, high pressure situations compromise your sense of judgment and totally distort your thinking, so you better hope youve had LOTS of PRACTICE, so you can DO that shit without even thinking about it.

yes i am referring to my stupid old job. hahahaha. NO its not a combat life or death situation, but for me, it was the closest thing to it, being a high pressure situation where you had to take action NOW.

my point is we were NEVER prepared. we had very little training. we had to “practice” these things we had never done before, in the middle of the pressure situation. now once we done it a few times, yeah we got better and felt less pressure, but those first couple of times for EVERYTHING, it was like damn i dont know what I’m doing! and you got that feeling several times a day! it never really stopped because there was an infinite, growing amount of shit that could go wrong!

see in the military, dont you have LEADERS who TEACH you how to DO stuff? maybe not, but I would trust NO1 to TEACH his subordinates stuff, rather than wave them away saying “read the book. if it doesnt make sense, keep reading it till it makes sense. i dont have time to show you shit. im your leader.”

i dont see him doing that. i see him taking the OLD SKOOL definition of a leader, where you take the extra RESPONSIBILITY to TEACH and TRAIN.

this was not a responsibility of our leaders. really they had no TIME for it. they had too many other responsibilies. just like we were too busy to do shit like research an issue and call a caller back, THEY were too busy to teach us stuff and show us how to do stuff. it was the company culture hhaahaha. figure shit out RIGHT NOW with no time for training or learning.

basically it boils down to expectations management: do you expect your leaders to train and teach you? in school and military, yes you do. in the working world, no you shouldn’t, you train yourself.

so how do you train yourself when you dont have the knowledge to give to yourself.

you read books, websites, watch other people. but you have to expect a surly attitude if you bother them with questions. and yeah i dont like that.

i guess the best thing to do is to find an expert at your job and watch them immediately before or after your shift. or come in on your day off to watch them. or if there’s a more experienced person who does your job. COME IN ON YOUR DAY OFF to WATCH THEM. THATS what you have to do.

NOBODY EVER TOLD ME!!!!!!

UPDATE TO MUH DESPAIR FORUM PROFILE:

Aug 2016: all my posts usually end up turning into long rambling diatribes, hahaha. but I mean well! Also, I always say “hahahaha” which is simply me saying “lol” or laughing at my horrible jokes, because I like to make horrible jokes to deal with or talk about the horrible pain of despair, and the tragedy it wreaks on our lives. It is like laughing in the face of death, real gallows humor, if I weren’t laughing, I’d be crying. And the sense of humor HAS to be ridiculous because what is happening to us is kind of ridiculous! But I fully believe that making jokes about it is a good way of coping and dealing.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeEsmenBcPniAgs-jkezTyA
Are we allowed to post links? I have been watching this guy Forever Alone Feels aka George Feels. He is a 31 year old virgin who talks about being Foreveralone and his efforts to improve himself. I believe he has some kind of depression as well, but I don’t think he’s really “treating” it. Anyway I think alot of us here, the lonely men at least, could identify with him. I know I can!

They say you need to love yourself before you can be in a relationship with someone else, but I’m not so sure about that. I mean where do we set the bar? What is the bare minimum at which we are finally ready to have a rel? I’ve been trying to get there all my life and haven’t quite done it. Whenever I loved a person, I loved them with full acceptance of their flaws, imperfections, shortcomings. Now I have low self esteem and low confidence and plenty of guilt and shame, but thank goodness I do not really HATE myself per se. Yeah I guess if you completely LOATHE yourself that might make a relationship very difficult, but I don’t like the idea that if you are not completely over your depression, AND if you aren’t some huge confident winner, then you’re not worthy of a relationship, or you will inevitably sabotage every relationship you’re lucky enough to get.

I think it’s good to take some time to regroup and get over someone if you have had a breakup…..but these people who advise you “work on yourself first, you can’t have a rel until you love and accept yourself” also don’t understand the pain of being alone for 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 15 YEARS. I generally say if you haven’t dated anyone in 2 years, then it’s okay to put yourself out there, even if you are not fully “fixed” yet.

Yeah OK if you are 18 or 20 or 22 or maybe even 24 years old and worried about not having a GF, it’s reasonable advice to focus on yourself first. But once you get past 25 and DEFINITELY once you get past 30………then that advice begins to sound really sh1tty, hahahaha. How long do we need to focus on ourselves? At that point we might be focusing on ourselves TOO much, and probably in the wrong way too.

Being alone can be good….but I think this eventually peaks and then starts declining. At around 2 years hahahahahaha. And then being alone will just make you more depressed. Because even the most introverted, shy, or even misanthropic of us, almost without exception, has a strong desire to have a loving relationship, and to avoid this natural urge for years and years and years is not good.

And for better or worse, it can be a huge confidence booster when someone you like likes you. And it also feels good when you feel your heart open and begin to like someone. It is a very beautiful thing to SHARE life with someone special. Saying this as somebody who never REALLY did that….but came close enough to know how special it would be, if only the other person were willing.

IMO Women and men are complementary but also very different. Women can offer very very well-meaning advice to lonely men…..but I generally think men can give MUCH better advice to men than women can regarding dating and relationships from the male perspective, simply because men and women play very different roles. Essentially, women are the supply, men are the demand. Women can get pregnant, men cannot. Women are the choosers, men are the applicants/candidates/suitors. This is based in biology and can’t and shouldn’t be changed. You can chase nature out with a pitchfork, but it always comes back.

In other words, it’s much easier for a depressive woman to find a relationship, than it is for a depressive man. Men are essentially presenting themselves to women, saying “choose me.” And a depressive man has a really hard time presenting himself positively, and competing against all the healthier men who are competing for the same women.

So we have to get healthy first then, right? Kind of, but those of us who have been struggling for our entire adult lives know that this is something we will never fully beat. At best it is something we can manage and try to keep at bay. To beat it and become FULLY “healthy” could take our entire lives. And I just think it’s really SAD that there are a ton of 30+ year old men out there who have never been in a real rel. Myself included, hahaha. And not just 30, but 40, 50+ years old! It’s a special kind of pain and loneliness that I just don’t think anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship can ever fully understand…..because at least they know what it’s LIKE to be in a long-term relationship!

Now I’m not saying long-term relationships are a cure-all, or that they can’t turn into horrible things. I am WELL aware that even the BEST relationships take a LOT of work, and have very bad times as well as very good times. But I’m more than willing to make that effort for the right person. Willing to fight and work and put in effort. But all of the people I was willing to do that for, didn’t feel the same way. They just wanted to be DONE with the rel altogether. And that’s technically fine, I accept their choice………..but I just really wish someone would choose differently.

I thought I would be married by now, maybe with some children (I would love to have 3 or more children!), but I haven’t even had a serious GF yet!

So yeah it’s a unique pain, and I know women MEAN well when they give their perspectives, and I very much appreciate that, but I think women just CAN’T know what this is like, except for maybe the .0000000001% of women who has reached age 30 and has NEVER had a relationship. I concede there are probably a few……but there are a LOT more men, and I think MEN are in the best position to advise and comfort other men here.

Because men and women are very different, and play very different roles in relationships, and we shouldn’t FIGHT nature, but learn to live with it. For a while I was resentful of nature. Then I was resentful of myself to be able to “play the game” of nature, or live up to the minimum standards of nature.

Oh yeah one more thing: in men, depression attacks that which women find most attractive about men: confidence, charisma, masculinity, security, certainty. As for what attracts men to WOMEN, depression is basically irrelevant: beauty, kindness. Yeah I guess depression can make you appear less kind, but not necessarily. But depression pretty much ALWAYS decimates CONFIDENCE, such that this could be the DEFINITION of depression, and CONFIDENCE is THE most important thing for a man to be attractive to women.

So this is why depressed men fare MUCH worse on the dating market than depressed women. That and women generally need to do less work (because their reproductive cost is SO high (pregnancy.))

We have a lot of lonely men here, both under and over 30, and I want all of us to find what we are looking for: a mostly healthy, mostly happy, nontoxic, nonabusive, mutual, longterm, monogamous (well, speaking for myself!) relationship.

I appreciate women trying to show sympathy and support, but just realize it’s pretty much impossible for a woman to truly empathize with our situation, so any “actionable” advice can come across as condescending.

END OF THAT

george feels liked this, heres a guy with a phd who has been jobless for a year and is going crazy from not having any success on his job search. also i think he is a virgin too. 34 years old or so.

aug 8

yeah you (and I) should just bang sluts to get the experience, because banging makes you feel very confident and masculine.

MEN NEED PRACTICE GIRLS, WOMEN DO NOT NEED PRACTICE BOYS.

MEN NEED PRACTICE, WOMEN DON’T.

adn this is right and just and good. women shouldnt need practice. you dont WANT a woman with a lot of practice, do you?!?!?! i hope not. but YOU need practice so you can one day handle a decent woman, to become MAN enough for a decent woman.

it sucks to meet decent women and then lose them because you werent MAN enough. that if you had banged a few more dirty skanks, you would have had a chance with these GOOD women.

sheeeit almost too exciting of a day. had interview with bank for mortgage related job but its kind of an internal thing, meaning you are not SELLING or SERVICING goddamn MORTGAGES and trying to explain things you dont understand to CUSTOMERS who were SCREWED by your bank. But rather, working with vendors to fix up foreclosed houses to meet FHA/HUD standards.

FOOK YOU COMCAST. oh we can chat with an EXPERT on TWITTER? we can change our wifi password to something thats EASY TO REMEMBER??!?!?!  oh i can see youre really SHIFTING YOUR CULTURE to CUSTOMER SERVICE. now you can SCHEDULE A CALLBACK. WOW. Look at these groundbreaking innovations. Such bold forward thinking moves. fooking phaggots. worse yet is they present this like yeah were really trying. we know people hate calling comcast and we’re working to fix it and regain the customers trust by doing these SHITTY, LAME, MEANINGLESS, EASY stuff.

chat with an expert on twitter. thats even worse than chatting with a tech support chat person on the website. how about you TRAIN the agents, maybe give them accounts to work on, really just train your people better because they are the face of your company. have the SUPERVISORS give out their PHONE NUMBERS. TRAIN the level 1 people so you dont HAVE to go to a supervisor to get an answer.  and dont let the supervisors HIDE BEHIND the level 1 people.

but mainly, give at LEAST TWICE the training to level 1 people.

well, then cable would cost 1000 dollars a month rather than 500 dollars a month hahahaha.

and its all fookin jooish poison anyway!!!!!

and also got a phone call out of the blue from an old frand who i havent talked to in forever, at least a year. but he was one of the good guys, a great guy. i was too scared to answer the phone. i sent him an email immediately and said i would call him today. in like 35 minutes from now. so i will follow through with that. he is planning some sort of meetup and I would not be against it. might even be able to bang some sluts i knew 11 years ago and never got the chance to bang then, hahahahaha. but thats not the important part, really what is important is seeing this guy and any other Good Guys.

yep its fookin HARD to get under 1200 calories. you can basically have NO snacks and NO treats. eat one small meal, and one big meal, and thats IT for the day. try to get in at LEAST an hour of walking in too if you can.

well i called the old friend back when i said I would, and left a full rambling 5 minute voice mail, becuase its kinda like my idea of sending a person long voice file rather than actually having a Synchronous Conversation with them. I think there’s definitely advantages to simply leaving long voice mails for each other. mainly it is kinda nerve wracking to have a person there in real time, listening to every word you say, waiting to jump in.

interview today was OK, guy was really normie and pretty young, probably younger than me. he quizzed me on how to actually do a VLOOKUP in excel, which i was not expecting.

=VLOOKUP(Value you want to look up, range where you want to lookup the value, the column number in the range containing the return value, Exact Match or Approximate Match – indicated as 0/FALSE or 1/TRUE).

uhh there it is  hahahaha. wow he caught me in a bullshit lie. welp there goes this job.

its mornings, no weekends, and they would like 45 hours a week, and you do get paid hourly, meaning paid 1.5 for anything over 40. not bad.

they would not say what the pay was. very clever. I gave them a range. I should have written down the shit from glassdoor. i looked at glassdoor but didnt write shit down. I said I looked at glassdoor hahaha and told them what I was making before, and then went 2 dollars either way from that.

they would not say exactly how many people were interviewing. gave the impression that it was a decent amount. “i’ve got some competition” he said. and they had another interview coming in the next hour. got done in about 52-55 minutes.

anyway he seemed ok, wasnt trying to be a dickhead, said that i was a good communicator, i said thank you i appreciate that.

did 5 mile powerwalk, did not get callback from the old friend but at least i called him back. left long message, said a lot of nice stuff. thank you, im sorry, youre a great guy, im thankful, hope you and your fam are doing well, etc etc. went right up to the time i was cut off.

i dunno. i kinda like this move. unless of course it is a woman who is avoiding you and refuses to talk to you. of course this may be the only way you can talk to her.

took some nyquil as well.

 

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