JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING MAKES SENSE DOESNT MEAN IT DOESNT SUCK DONKEY D1CK

aug 5

yeah so the idea of creativity and design and human centered and innovation bla bla it all sounds REALLY good, its some GREAT bullshit. i mean nobody, left or right, white or jooish, can deny that Creativity is a Good Thing. and it’s fun and confidence building and healthy to BE creative. any cynic who bitches about how creativity is bullshit is just butthurt that they aren’t creative. i do that alot. bitch about x because im butthurt about not being x. its degenerate and wicked and jooish, etc.

cant really do that about creativity. shit I would LIKE to be more creative. I used to be more creative before muh emotional issues really put the kibosh on that. being creative means you can think your way out of problems and hopefully act on them. and really fix the problems.

i was creative this morning. usually i make weak coffee with 4 scoops. when i was at the creativity office, they had some pretty good coffee, but since normie coffee is too strong for me, i have to dilute it with water. So i thought, well why dont I just make stronger coffee at home, then add water to it, that way i dont have to make 2 pots of coffee a day. just make 1 pot of stronger coffee and add water to it AFTER making making it, when i am pouring muhself a cup. mix it with some water then.

see how SIMPLE that is? yet I didnt think of it until I was 35 years old hahahaha. because muh creativity is THAT weakened. its hard to think of solutions when you are anxious and despairing. this impairs your judgement and give you BRAIN FOG. you cling to any kind of safety or security or certainty you can find, because youre tired and weak from being confused and uncertain and HELPLESS.

when you are DROWNING, you dont have the LUXURY of being creative. you just want a damn life raft or something that FLOATS that you can GRAB ONTO and hold on for dear life. thats as creative as you can be.

but im not REALLY drowning! thats ALL IN MY MIND!

own worst enemy, imaginary prison, afraid of freedom, fear is the mindkiller etc

but yeah it is very hard to break those Psychic Chains hahahaha. Correct the Cognitive Distortions.

anyway a year later after the shit with the woman its easier to put it in perspective and not hate her so much, and not blame myself so much, which is HUGE. i thought i did something HORRIBLE which caused her to HATE me.

in fact she probably didnt hate me, and the simplest solution is the best one: she was just scared and confused and overwhelmed, fight or flight kicked in, I wanted to fight, and she wanted to flight. so she ran away. I have run away from situations before, not because they did me wrong or I hated them per se. I ran away because I was scared and panicking because I felt I JUST COULDNT HANDLE IT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST CANT HANDLE THIS!!!!!!!! so you run away. and thats the ALL the explanation there really IS. get scared, run away. and then you cant really approach the person to convince them theres nothing to be scared of. becuase they keep running away. nothing you can do but let them run away. which i ultimately did. the end.

theres ignoring, THEN theres “actively” avoiding, THEN theres running away. we gradually escalated through all three stages there.

im not sure a manipulative niceguy would have driven that escalation like I did! I NEEDED A RESOLUTION! I wasnt WAITING TO POUNCE!

so yeah its important to personally believe i wasnt the bad guy, i wasnt the niceguy fake friend manipulator. it was just unfortuante and sad situation where we couldnt resolve our problems and she ran away from them because she was too scared to DEAL with them.

which is understandable! sheeeeeeeeeit I feel EVERY DAY like I cant DEAL WITH LIFE itself! I’ve done plenty of running away myself!

its like in dreams where you are just running and running away from some sort of monster.

well maybe she didnt think I was a monster, but she certainly found the situation monstrous and terrifying. ok I totally get that.

so yeah it is starting to make a lot more sense, and that gives me real closure. it sucks total donkey dick, but it makes sense. but it still sucks!

JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING MAKES SENSE DOESNT MEAN IT DOESNT SUCK DONKEY DICK!

see THESE are healthy thoughts, this is how a normie thinks, how a confident winner normie nonvrigin nonneet DEALS WITH problems in their life.  by taking a HEALTHY perspective on them.

wow i guess that means i am having a good day today. well thank GOD hahahaha.

im not even that upset about not getting that great job. I still feel sorta confident from even just having the interview and being one of 4 finalists. out of 100 applicants!

well I would have expected more applicants frankly. at least 200.

https://upfrommorallylazyloserness.wordpress.com/2016/08/05/6235/

this post shows some early hints of Rational Thinking way back in january 2016 when I wrote it. so not even 6 months out, I was getting some good perspective on it. of course i certainly wasnt fully healed, i still am not, and then i was MUCH more lazy on muh job search. i was still running away from that.

yeahi mean shit its like forrest gump running away kind of. he wanted to run back to the safety of home….but when he was an older man, that didnt even do it for him. so he just kept running and running  and running until he was tired of running. that manipulative joo movie portrays it very nicely, in some ways, that movie is very very good and of course I identify with forrest more than most people. kinda like a big naive child who doesnt really fit in. and falls in luv with the worst women ever hahahahaha.

I would have gotten along with forrest well I think and probably been a good friend to him hehehe. and i wouldnt die early like bubba and i wouldnt be all bipolar like lt dan. well, maybe i would hahahaha.

really lt dan should have stayed alongside forrest after their shrimp company blew up, and lt dan should have played a big role in keeping forrest away from that horrible skank jennay. i dont think jennay was an evil bad person, but she was just a totally ruined woman who was POISON to everyone around her. its sad really. and really its better for you to stay far far away from these Toxic, Poisonous people. They need to help themselves first. Jennay should have gone to a goy shrink when she was very young, before she turned into a drug whore always running away and breaking forrests heart 9000000 times. she did not deserve a good man like him.

at least thats what i get out of the movie, and i appreciate the movie for showing such a tragic, poisonous woman…..but i’m not sure thats what i was supposed to get out of it hahahahaha. and this just proves i am an unregenerate woman hater hahahaha.

SO BE IT. I HATE WOMEN. SO WHAT. DEAL WITH IT.

the two WOMEN I interviewed with yesterday didnt think i was a WOMAN HATER. or the Woman Manager I Initiated a Conversation with at the Creative Idea Design Space. They were nice to me and I was nice to them.

i HATE not having the “luxury” to CALL SOMEBODY BACK. shit give me 15 minutes, I will look into this, and CALL YOU BACK. we couldnt really do that at the job. you had to get permission to call somebody back. which wouldnt be given because there were Calls In Queue. so you had to do EVERYTHING with the caller on HOLD. put the caller on hold for 5 minutes just to ask for permission to call them back, and get rejected, then tell the caller you just wasted 5 minutes with them on hold hahahahaha.

yet another reason why i do not want to go back to a damn call center. they are able to get “LEAN” so that there is no downtime, so that there ALWAYS IS callers in queue, because if there is not a lot of calls, they can just send people home like they do at a restaurant.

not all places send people home when it gets slow!

but you gotta have a degree from cornell loaded with prestigious internships to get one of those jobs, hahahaha.

my school was not as prestigious as CORNELL or STANFORD. but it was definitely within shouting distance. a lot of our people went to Grad School at cornell or stanford or places like that.

but not me! I went on to struggle to make more than 10k a year for the next 11 years after college! with no cuddles hahahaha

heh damn recruiter called, said they found my resume on careerbuilder, i lied and said i found a new position, then went right to careerbuilder and saw all my shit was private.

they probable saved my info in their system back when my shit was not private. hmm. im surprised they remember people like that, in the sense of creating and maintaining their own pool, rather than saying fook all these people, let’s just go right back to careerbuilder and get NEW resumes!

maybe that means i was in a “high value” pool that they wanted to contact several times? be persistent with this guy becuase he’s good? hehehehehe. see that is the RIGHT way to interpret this uncertainty.

pick up tailored suit from arabs today, they were super expensive, wont go back. they have great reviews tho.

AGAIN! THAT KID IS ON THE ESCALATOR AGAIN!

The INFAMOUS job that got 1000 applicants in 3 days for the entry level college student 13 DAH job, is being posted AGAIN about 2 or 3 weeks later!

HOW COULD NOT ONE OF THOSE THOUSAND PEOPLE BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THIS JOB???

SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING ON HERE.

Shit yeah I will apply for it AGAIN, and count it towards my numbers again.

NO company should EVER hire from the outside for ANYTHING but an entry level position.  I can’t get creative enough to think of a GOOD reason, without sounding like total jooish bullshit.

hire a manager from another company while you have EXCELLENT level 1 people who would LOVED to be promoted AND who do GREAT work and KNOW their shit.

or the alternative is, you give them more responsibility and more work to make them FEEL like they’ve been promoted, maybe even gie you a fancier job title if you’re really lucky, but NO increase in pay. NONE.

so you are doing MORE for the SAME.

i mean shit yeah it makes SENSE, this all makes SENSE. the way it makes SENSE for a parasite to suck its host dry when there is an OVERSUPPLY OF HOSTS!!!!!! they can kill their host and it doesnt kill THEM (see the scorpion and the frog fable) because there is always another host!

THE SCORPION ALWAYS HAS ANOTHER FROG TO JUMP TO!!!!!!

which, of course completely Subverts and Ruins the MORAL of the fable. well, Subverting and ruining morals is what they do best isnt it?

anyway the idea is that by following its predatory nature, the scorpion “accidentally” kills the frog who is carrying it to safety, therefore killing himself.

YOUVE KILLED US, YOU ARROGANT ASS!!!!.wav

but in reality, the scorpion never has to face consequences for its actions because there’s another frog it can jump to once the previous frog dies. i guess women are like this too. they get away with it because they CAN get away with it and there will NEVER be a shortage of people who LET them get away with it.

women: the joos of the human race hahahaha. the joos of the genders hahaha.

i am now approaching andrew anglin level hatred of da joos hahahaha.

so if mill woes was the man of the year 2015, then the goys of TRS in general are the men of the year 2016. for sure. for sure. jim, sheeitlawd, ryan nation of one, seventh son, natt, otto, sam, k1ke enoch, all the great guys on the forum, and the podcasts i dont listen to, lets throw in andre anglin and weev too, they are great.

there are two kinds of mgtows: those that turn back once they reach Race Realism, and those that go boldly into that world. guess which one i am hahahaha.

in other words, eventually ALL mgtows reach the race question. its an inevitable, logical conclusion. and i dont think its logical to turn back. to say oh no i just want to engineer robot waifus, but being a racist is just dumb and ridiculous and bad. COME ON.

i think it gives a very healthy perspective for mgtows women hate. like you accept how ridiculous women are, and now you have the courage to actually DEAL with them, rather than AVOID them like mgtows. courage vs cowardice.

now i am a coward but im glad I chose the path of courage at least hahahaha.

picked up my newly tailor gray suit. i guess you could call it a dark gray as opposed to a Medium Average Gray. oh well. sill looks good and it doesnt look BLACK. I wanted to stay away from BLACK because NOBODY wears black suits and it just looks WEIRD. you are either a gangster, the blues brothers, or an orthodox j00, or amish, an orthodox russian. i mean some of these things are not bad……but none of them are NORMIE. they do not inspire confidence in the unconfident. you have to already be confident to pull off that weirdness. otherwise people will just think youre a weirdo, and it DOES matter what other people want, because you are always trying to GET something from them. SELL shit to them. they are your CUSTOMER. employers and women. and actual customers for that matter.

but yeah i absolutely have to apply to 4 better 5 jobs today, i have been “off” the past few days. i mean i have been busy doing stuff. doing this 2 day study, having 2 interviews, hey thats plenty hehehehe. also i have been more inspired in writing and thinking positively, so i want to capitalize on that.

although i did have a brief fantasy about degenerately banging the attractive “milf” type women I saw at the research study. basically just imagining them being very degenerate and slutty, why wouldnt a milf be, obviously theyre damaged goods, so then i respond in kind by having very ruff secs with them. i mean these are the types of women who like to be choked and slapped during secs and just treated like GARBAGE. NOT the type of woman you marry EVER.

unfortuantely that led to me having very degenerate thoughts about them! not the tender luving secs you have with your tender luving waifu!

which is easier to think of the nondegen stuff when you view the woman as being YOUNG AND nondegen herself. a young fair maiden. rather than some worn out old skank with plenty of obvious miles on the engine.

dont give your most valuable resource away for FREE!!!

it MATTERS!!!! stop pretending like it doesnt!! and women FALL for this RUSE completely! and its so shameful and disgusting!

and the woman i wanted to spend the rest of muh life with and have 3 white children with, would rather give up her white womb EASILY to packs of wild ingras than even LISTEN to me say please be nicer to me, did I ever mean anything to you.

guy on TRSF recommends doing a “3 day water fast” basically meaning, dont eat anything for 3 days, but you can drink water. he claims it resets your system, like rebooting your whole body, you can quickly lose some extra weight, wel, you might lose some muscle too so maybe dont do it if you are BULKING hahahaha.

supposedly the first 2 days are hard but the third day is easy and where you will notice the benefits. you wont even WANT to eat your favorite foods.

and hopefully when you end the fast, you will be reprogrammed to not want to eat as much.

he recommends doing a 3 day fast once every 3 months.

http://www.gq.com/story/six-day-water-fast-diet

http://jamesclear.com/the-beginners-guide-to-intermittent-fasting

i guess i kind of already DO intermittent fasting, ie doing all your eating for the day within an 8 hour window.

http://www.nateliason.com/5-day-water-fast-health-benefits/

water fasting.

sheeeeit wanted to play some cards finally, and nobody in there.

when good men go crazy or freak out or quit things or snap or disappear…………………….

there’s usually a woman behind it all. some bitch breaking his heart. and then he goes off the deep end. his heart and his luv were a lot more pure and good than her uterus and her heart.

maybe i should impregnate nonwhites but not take of the mixed race kids, so as to “ruin” their genetic line and to essentially make them more white hahahahaha. but what are the chances they will mate with whites to have whiter kids? also…..well basically this mixed bastard would ideally be a woman, who is herself impregnated by white men. but what if its a mixed man? do I want him mixing with a white woman to create a whiter child than him?

theres no easy solution when trying to “breed out” a certain race by diluting it with whiteness hehehe.

you basically need to genocide the males and turn the females into brood mares for whites. then repeat the cycle until the people are 92% white.

this is SO MUCH WORK. It would be easier just to Send All Nonwhites Back. A lot easier and more efficient and quicker and less autistic ahaha.

but a key lesson is, males can get away with race mixing, women can’t. exactly because women are more reproductively VALUABLE.

i mean ok. it kinda made sense in times of war and imperial conquest. like white men conquering african nations and making mixed bastards. but its not a good long term strategy for whites to live there i guess. i mean in the end you just get brazil. how what is brazil. i mean the whitest whites segregate themselves….and i cant blame them!!!!!

moral of the story, just dont race mix. men or women. no good can come of it. its interesting to think of how you could “whiten” nonwhites with strategic breeding but……i dunno its just not a good roi in the long run. too resource intensive.

bbbbbut not if you just exterminate all the mixed MALE fetuses, and the white men who breed with the mixed women don’t waste any of their RESOURCES on these women. but then who takes care of the women? the state I guess. then you have this whole slave caste essentially.

but they get released out of slavery once they are 92% white. and one day the slavery ends.

but i think that “LEGACY” of slavery would be with them just like with the blacks today.

especially for the first generation of children to be Born Free, ie above 92% or whatever. they only have memories of their mother being a brood slave. yeah but they dont even KNOW their mother. they could be put up into ADOPTION with a white family and then never told about their history. that might work hahahaha.

AYO HOL UP so youre tellin me there are qt white girls from carribean islands like the cayman islands, bahamas, bermuda, etc? I thought they were all black. (watching olympic intro ceremony with all the countries proceeding in. kinda interesting.)

are these all athletes? i mean there are qt gurls for the majority of countries, even not the whitest of countries. like cayman islands, or chile, or kazakstan. like kazakstan, most people look like finngolians, but a few people look whitish! i mean shit. cryprus has some qts, even colombia.

aug 6

really the breeding whiteness into nonwhites idea is SO AUTISTIC. the easiest and best solution is simply sterilize nonwhites. there would be no camps, no ovens. just sterlize them or send them back, even give them money when you send them back.  that would be tax dollars well spent.

ok what if i found the perfect woman, but she was 50% nonwhite. SOME of these gurls can be really qt. and still look pretty white. but keep in mind barry is half white and he looks black and you dont even remember hes half white.

well, i am not talking about the 50% black mixes hahaha. maybe like asian or indian or something. yeah but their mother is a race traitor! unless its an asian. then their father is a race traitor beta cuck with yellow fever.

ok gotta apply for more jobs, been falling behind there.

ok gonna try a 20 hour fast today. i guess its not too unusual for me to to a 16 hour intermittent fast. so lets try 20 hours today. because i am a bit over. essentially need to skip one or two meals. come on. how hard is that.

ideally i would like to lose 10 more pounds but at this point, it is harder than ever.

i mean i dont really NEED to because i am at a healthy weight now. which so many fat bastards are unable to say.

i just think of the last time we talked and she was so awkward and distant and was like YOU SHOULD KNOW that this is over, just STAY AWAY FROM ME, I dont want anything to do with you. without actually saying that.

where i was more like, yeah were having issues, but we have been friends for almost 3 years, you cant just ASSUME this is over and even more you cant ASSUME that I should feel the exact same way, and that I’m the bad guy for not immediately accepting, welp, this is dead and over and Im simply never going to talk to you again. Thats fine. No Problem. Done and Done.

Ok so women CAN be mature and rational and reasonable…….but at TIMES when the emotions and the hormones hit, they turn IMMEDIATELY back into 13 year old girls. IDIOTS. and thats when you need to be careful. at that point they become very destructive. ticking time bombs. and then they cant be trusted whatsoever and can do very bad things. and in this window of time, the female ceo can wreck their company, while they are having this tasmanian devil tantrum.

you basically need to strap them down in a rubber room with a straitjacket until the fever passes.

i wish this emotional fever wasnt SO powerful and SO destructive!!!! It’s almost as destructive as the power of the womb is life-giving. and on the other side, this emotional fever is like an atomic bomb, dstroyer of worlds, i am become death, kali.

Although I have no working experience in blabla system, I would take the initiative to learn the system as quickly as possible by training myself in my personal time.

this is my new favorite response to that question hahahaha. I have taken to writing that on my applications for 27k entry level clerk jobs where they ask if you have experience in blabla program.

Train YOURSELF in your PERSONAL time.

Dont train yourself on THEIR time.

Dont ask THEM to train you on their time OR on your time.

but you can MAYBE pay somebody 20 dollars an hour to train you on your free time.

or pay somebody to let you watch them at work before and after your shift. pay them for giving you the service of letting you watch them.

that idea that were DONE, and you should KNOW it, even though I havent really told you whether i want us to be DONE or if i am willing to work on it, like you have expressed to me that you want to work on it. you should know that I dont. now get out of here and if you dont understand all this, youre a crazy sociopath.

Really I had no way of knowing did she want to work on this, or did she want out entirely.

Well she wasnt showing any action towards working on it, so I guess I should have interpreted it as she wanted out entirely. so i was the bad guy for not liking that and for pushing her to work on it and not just sitting by and accepting this with a smile saying THATS FINE.

i mean yeah yeah “i respect her decision” but at least try to be polite and clear with me about what your decision is.

wow the finland team is the whitest so far as far as being filled with beautiful white people, so far, well alongside denmark and slovakia. but damn those beautiful finns dont look anything like mongols!

but yeah you see how the majority of the WORLD are nasty negers and shitskins hahahaha.

hmm there was one cute blond girl on georgia. i thought georgia was almost white….but not quite. i mean the men looked like total turks hahahaha. turkroaches.

no i know they are not, georgians are strictly caucasian.

anyway its unfortuante that the qt white gurls are just SLUTTING IT UP with SO MANY GUYS in the olympic village. how many guys does the average olympic gurl add to her number over the average summer olympics? 10 guys? 20? 5? gotta be more than 5. i mean its not like theyre partying EVERY NIGHT. they have to rest before their big competition days.

i dont even know how long the olympics is. 2 weeks? how many days off do they get? 1 week? 7 days. so, assuming 1 new guy per night, 7 new dicks taken during olympics. not bad. well yes, actually its horrible. there is no reason ANY woman should EVER take 7 dicks in her entire LIFE. that’s 14 years worth of dick all in one week. assuming the decent white thing to do is

NEVER TOUCH A DICK UNLESS YOURE PREPARED TO COMMIT TWO YEARS TO IT.

ideally 3 years.

so when a beautiful, in shape white gurl takes 7 dicks in a week, rendering her unmarriageable in one fell swoop, assuming she was ok before, which she probably wasnt!!!

but boy these healthy looking smiling beautiful white gurls dont LOOK like the filthy whores they are!

very frustrating to be generally averaging like 1250 calories a day and not losing any more weight. how low do i have to go?

i mean to do this you have to do to about 1.5 meals a day. to lose weight you can only eat 1.5 meals a day. no snacks. now when i say 1 meal, i mean 1 decent sized honest meal that fills you up. a “big” meal.

people will tell you youre not EATING ENOUGH.

my question is when does FASTING become ANOREXIA. you can FAST for 20 to 30 days.

thinking about taking a VALIUM tonight. just to see what it does. will it be similar to nyquil? if i dont take a valium i will def take a nyquil. its amazing i still have valium LEFT. let alone a LOT of them!

i mean i would prefer just some MJ but thats impossible for me to get since i am antisocial hahahaha.

meanwhile that woman has been smoking tons of MJ the past year, being way more successful than me, and probably being slutty and giving herself away and having TONS OF FUN. while smokin tons of MJ and making TONS of MONEY. come on.

Protip: ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT “THAT WOMAN” ARE UNPRODUCTIVE. COMPLETELY. THERE IS NO POSSIBLE BENEFIT TO HAVING THESE THOUGHTS. THESE ARE THE TYPES OF THOUGHTS I NEED TO PUT INTO THE OVEN. EXTERMINATE THEM.

who CARES about that woman, it doesnt MATTER what and who she does.

WHO CARES, IT DOESNT MATTER.

yeah its just weird seeing the same or a very very similar job with a certain company get posted every 2 or 3 weeks. always an entry level job that sounds right up my alley and right up MANY peoples alley: day shift, hourly pay, not super skilled, less than 50% talking to customers, office assistant, 12-15 an hour. usually get at least 100-200 applicants per day. then they get 500 appplicants, pull the posting, then 3 weeks later, ITS BACK.

WTF IS GOING ON HERE.

yes I KNOW I JUST wrote about this, possibly in this same post, and definitely last post. because I SEE it happening regularly and it is frustrating! don’t reopen the position, throw out the net to get 500 more applicants, just call me in for an interview!

and this isnt the type of job which only 1 out of ever 10000 people can do, some special snowflake. im sure a monkey could do the job.

which makes me think its a FAKE job opening, IE there is no job, i mean maybe there IS a job, but not right NOW. They hire one person every 2 years for the job, but POST it every month and get 500 applications every time. and then select the best one out of 12000 for when they actually want to hire a person hahahaha. no they probably just put them all in the oven and just pick the best out of the most recent batch of 500.

nobody told me this is how Jobs are!

and this place has terrible ratings from employees.

it doesnt sound like they do mass hiring and mass firing…..cuz they havent hired me yet hahahaha.

maybe this is how they create a pool. but really how many people do they need in their pool? 12000?

NO, they just constantly prune the pool to the BEST 100. a better one comes in, then the worst one gets ovened.

do they really have the TIME to do this though?

but how much TIME does it take? an hour a week? they can probably manage THAT.

so thats what they are doing then. developing the strongest pool possible. shit in that case they just throw out my resume every time, because its not as good as the WORST res in the pool. in that case, a good 490 out of 500 of the applications every month get thrown out!

welp guess these losers better go back to online college and get a masters degree then!

for a 13 an hour data entry job.

yes but its full time, days, no weekends! it might even have a 401k with 1% matching, and an expensive ass high deductible health plan!

and you gotta go to CORNELL to get a full time days no weekends job hahahaha.

355 days since i wrote the final email to her. the final contact. 389 days since i last talked to her. 271 days since i last looked at jooish porno filth.

heh. took a valium, then did a 3.6 mile powerwalk, didnt really feel the valium, then came home and took half dose of nyquil, cuz supposedly benzos make everything stronger hehehehe. now i am getting a little tired.

 

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