july 25

ok. shaved stubble, put on polo shirt and unimpressive khakis to drop off paper application. 16 pages. at municipal HR. looked pretty chill in there at 11:30 am on a monday morning. beautiful day. another good day for the lake hehehe

dr nerdluv. i HATE this phaggot. he tries to convince nerdy beta orbiters what WOMAN HATERS they are, how BAD they are, and how to let women walk all over them and treat them like GARBAGE, because to be assertive and stand up for yourself is woman hating too.  i hope this joo needs to get a REAL job. and that all women reject him for years and he doesnt even TOUCH a woman for the next 10 years. and that the only way he can keep a woman is by having open relships with them where they are allow to bang chad and tyrone and rufus and moammar and he is allow to bang nobody hahahaha. he has to watch his gf and his gf’s bull hahahaha.

so i thought, dropping off a paper application, you limit the WORST of your potential candidates.

unlike the one job which got 1000 online applications.

but HOW HARD IS IT, REALLY, to look at a resume for 2 SECONDS and decide yes or no? whether you get 100 resumes or 1000, you’re still gonna narrow it down to like 8 people tops  to actually interview. more like 5 or 6.

and you can automatically throw out anyone who doesnt have a masters degree. doesnt have a bachelors degree. has less than 10 years of experience. has a nonwhite name. has an ugly resume. has a bad cover letter. boom boom boom. in 1 or 2 hours, your whittle your list of 1000 down to the 10 people you will actually call for interviews.

so, in other words, it STILL makes no sense to accept only paper applications.

no you’re not scaring away the BEST either, beause the BEST aren’t even gonna be interested in a low level municipal office job in a sorta sketchy city.

also got a call from the university, the dream employer, for muh big second interview with them. “IT Specialist.” oh great. interview for next week now. hooray.  well i will be nervous and weird but at least i will look ok.

try this deicide album, they say its good. yeah the cover art is not so good, but this is where they got the new guitarists and supposedly that increased the songwriting quality.

also all deicide albums are SHORT, which is good. i hate albums longer than 40 minutes hahaha. your album better be long enough to fit on one LP. if not, cut the filler.

isis bombing in southern germany on july 24? not to be confused with the german mall shooter which i dont think was isis related even though the guy said aloha snackbar.

yep perfectly normal for several snackbar attacks in germany several times a week. thats the price we pay for a better future.

point is, they are not getting BETTER candidates by forcing you to print shit out and drop it off.

they are getting FEWER candidates, but not BETTER candidates.

how DO you get better candidates?

pay more and have a really good job description until you start seeing resumes of people from harvard who worked at fricken i dunno wall street and shit.

and is getting FEWER candidates really WORTH it when you can go thru 1000 resumes in 2 hours anway? pressure the HR person to stay 2 extra hours unpaid!

so yeah i hate not understanding shit. especially when i have to understand it QUICKLY AND then convince somebody of it.

also, wouldnt you have a better chance of catching a better person with the 100 rather than than 100? unless 100 is a good enough SAMPLE SIZE.

do i really think 100 people are even gonna apply for this? shit more like 50 max. and i am sure 85% will be internal people who already work at the city. part timers and shit. looking to claw their way up hahaha.

job i interview for next week appears to start at 40k. why does this place keep calling me to interview for 40k jobs? the problem is, they don’t have damn 30k jobs!!!!!!!!

every time they’ve had a closer to 30k job and ive applied for it……i never got an interview!

they WANT to interview me more for 40k jobs than 30k in other words!

did a nice 4.2 miler, got some vitamin d hopefully.

getting carpal tunnel syndrome, need some medical weed hahahahaha

seriously i dont know WHY george feels isnt smoking MJ like a madman. well really i dont know why he isnt a raging alcoholic. he drinks here and there and feels guilty about it…..but he is not really in problem range.

get very angry and feel very useless and incompetent when looking at jbos, like i am an EVEN BIGGER FAILURE AND LOSER THAN I THOUGHT. I MIGHT AS WELL K MYSELF NOW. I CANT DO ANY OF THIS STUFF. like with wimmin, i should SET MY SIGHTS LOWER. to 12 bucks an hour MAX. like i should set my sights lower on wimmin, to 6/10 MAX. none of this 7 bullshit. none of that 14 dollar an hour bullshit.

well got 4 jobs in today.

it really does take some time finding stuff to apply to. now instead of saying B or B+ or A, i just say APPLY!!!! or MAYBE apply.

there are not a lot of APPLYs, certainly not 8 a day or something like that.

NONEXEMPT is GOOD because you DO get paid overtime. I always mess this up. NONEXEMPT is GOOD. EXEMPT IS BAD. EXEMPT means you can work 80 hours a week and not get paid overtime.

EXEMPT means the job is EXEMPT FROM THE LAW. and this is one law you def do NOT want to be exempt from. cus the LAW is actually BENEFITING you.

listened to the deicide stench of redemption. it was heavy and pretty good, but yeah it def sounded different. not in a bad way though. production is not bad. i expected the drums to even be louder! i like the more “melodic” approach.

good but not mindblowing.

hey if she’s entitled to dump me without even so much as a sorry, i’m entitled to feel BAD about it!

i’m entitled to say, i’m not sure what happened, IT WASNT MY DECISION, I wasn’t consulted, she didn’t respond to me, I was greatly hurt, it was confusing and frustrating, and that’s the end of it. that’s all the damn closure there is and i’ve had to accept that.

i just don’t want dr nerdlove that piece of shit DEFENDING shitty behavior like this. yeah no ones entitled to anything we get it. but pay respect to the damn LEGACY. this is like morbid angel coming out with the most embarrassingly awful album of their career, after an 8 year hiatus, then releasing the worst album ever, and shitting on everything they ever did.

PAY RESPECT TO THE LEGACY we had by saying, yep, it was a good rel, now lets give it a good ending.

like uhhh when at the gates broke up after “slaughter of the soul.” some phaggots are too kvlt for that album, but at the time, it was a big deal. I liked the album a lot. you say welp we had something special, we can’t top that, so lets go out in a blaze of glory. better to burn out than fade away hahaha.

july 26

welp go to shrink today, thats always fun.


so its best to just boil it all down to a SHORT statement like in that article I read long ago: “I developed feelings for her, she decided to end the relationship without any communication whatsoever, that hurt me GREATLY, and that was the end of that. She didnt respond to me at all, I was devastated, I’ll never know exactly what she was thinking because she refused to communicate with me, I don’t know, it was her decision not mine, she gave up, I didn’t, THE END. THE FOOKING END.”

And just refocus yourself on that SHORT concluding statement rather than DWELL on the good stuff, or DWELL on the bad stuff.

yeah the pain itself is very unique and kinda interesting, so you can dwell on it.

and you can also dwell on trying to read another person’s mind, when you have no real answers or communication.

there are a lot of quicksand opportunities to dwell here, in other words. and you want to avoid those.

i, of courshe, DWELL too much! and get stuck in dwelling and need somebody to snap me out of it. and i have to train myself to be that person.

heh. TRS came out with some new tshirts and i went and took the plunge and bought one. it will probably get shut down before the shirts even get made hahahaha.

hmmm windows 10 does not tell you when you have antivirus turned off. like i turned mine off then forgot to turn it on for a few days. hopefully didnt get a virus.

technically i looked at pornography today because there were videos linked of evalion wearing a towel and slapping herself in the face like a total autist, and another video of her chewing her toenails. then somebody linked to the supposed evalion dildo video on xvideos, and i had to look at it to determine if it was really her or not. i determined that it was not her. the woman/skank looked like a older version of her. it is totally not her. however, there are some n00dz photos of a gurl with a swastika on her stomach who looks much more like evalion. absolutely slutty.

anyway shame on her father for letting her down when she needed him the most. now his fatherless daughter has become a narcissistic, sociopathic camwhore on the internet, when she should have been a nice gurl having babies with a nice man.

(we dont even know if she’s fully white, but she looks pretty white and i will give her the benefit of the doubt.)

we know that she grew up in a Broken Home of Divorce hahahaha yuppp that will do that every time.

anyway who cares, but the gossip is fooking SHADY. SHADY drama there with her doing camwhore stuff. never be a camwhore. EVER.  you cant spell camwhore without WHORE.

wahhhh That Woman was never a camwhore.

well i wonder if she sent n00dz to her ingra boifran? PROBABLY. GOD DAMN DIRTY MUDSHARK.




sheeeeeeit. today might have to make an uncomfortable confrontation regarding this guy who plays at our social event and is often drunk and obnoxious. i can tune it out better than most, but it is really starting to bother our team leadership, who is getting to the breaking point of blatantly asking the guy to leave. now i have to stand by that to give a united front. now the guy is obnoxious and i would prefer if he were not glomming onto our group. and he’s had this happen to him before. im just terrible at being a HARDASS and laying down the law. which is why i have never had a GF hahahahaha. for more than a few weeks.

i dunno, we;ll see how it goes. i mean i deal with awkward shit every week hahahaha.

very young jeff bridges was in a movie with andy griffith? something about a bunch of joos in hollywitz in the 20s or something.