WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY OF SEX, MEN ARE THE DEMAND

july 27

4 or 5 jobs on muh “work” days hahahaha.  got muh 5.

hey fine i get it, women are sexual. the only thing i resent is them being so PUBLIC and OPEN with HOW SLUTTY they are, specifically, how EASY they give it up to secsy chads, guys theyre interested in.

I dont care if you WANT him, MAKE HIM WAIT.

YOU CAN GET PREGGERS FROM THIS. MAKE HIM WAIT. 3 MONTHS AT LEAST. CANT YOU WAIT 3 MONTHS? even 3 months is pretty slutty imho. 6 months is a lot better.

what would you want your tradwife, the mother of your children, to have for her average wait time till secs with Chad? 3 months or 6 months? 3 dates? 1 date? 1 month? 1 year?

and its just disgusting seeing purty young gurls advertising such a Short Wait Time!

but I dont KNOW that! maybe they made those guys wait a YEAR! and NOW they are just showing normal interest in them. public displays of  interest.

this is very likely. i overregister any signs of interest by a woman in chad as “THAT DIRTY EASY SLUT.” i am VERY prone to this COGNITIVE DISTORTION and it makes me feel despair and anger and hatred towards women, and its all based on a false distorted foundation.

its easier for women to replace men because women have a lot of options, and get a lot of interest from secsy chads.

if i had qt young staceys showing interest in ME, i would forget about That Woman SO FAST. but it is VERY hard for me to win/earn that kind of interest from attractive women.

yes i AM a lookist. like i say, i never got feels for a woman who wasnt a 7!

when REALLY, considering my OWN value, i SHOULD be aiming for 5s and 6s! ive said this before! if i keep aiming for 7s, i’m gonna keep getting disappointed!

but Im not ATTRACTED to 5s or 6s!

i have run up against the chapin conundrum hahaha. where i cant force myself to be attracted to the less-than-7s who might show interest in me. not that any have yet!

speaking of 5s and 6s, i applied for 5 and then 6 jobs today hahahahahaha jobsearching neet virgin humor

so in other words, i think every cute young girl is a slut, shit i think every woman is a slut….even when theyre really not. so thats a cog distortion.

whats NOT a cog distortion is that being a slut is BAD. many women will say “THERES NOTHING WRONG with being a slut.” they are bad sluts doing bad things. being a slut is BAD, no cog distortion there. whatsoever. dont get it twisted.

red pill but not black pill hahaha. yes it is hard to put the brakes on once you take the red pill. but just becaue the red pill is true does mean the black pill is true!!!!!!!!!!!

not all women are like that hahahahaha

i mean, not all women are dirty whores making secs vidyas

but all women ARE hypergamous mercenaries just playing the game the way they were designed to play it.  but they certainly dont HAVE to go to degenerate whorish extremes. doesnt mean they have NO sense of right and wrong. they CAN have some sense of morality (though not as strong as a mans) and they CAN abide by some standards of human decency. they dont HAVE to be ANIMALS just because a LOT of them are in the current year.

and now im just bitching about hypothetical, imaginary, fictional acts. fictional women doing fictional sluttiness. as far as the actual transgression against me, that wasn’t slutty at all. it was just cowardly and passive and not even very Evil in Intent. its just cowardly avoiding, which we’ve all done.

and yeah part of muh rage against these fictional sluts is an expression of muh anger against that woman. even though im angry at them for different things. and then im bringing it back around and saying, well if that woman did this, then she could also be a huge slut like all these other sluts, she hasn’t yet, but she probably will.

IT DOESNT MATTER, IT DOESNT MATTER, IT DOESNT MATTER.

because i will never be with her. she can never hurt me again. her sluttiness and her cowardice and her lack of interest will never hurt me again!

well they will hurt other omega men!

but i have absolutely no way to help them. if i TRIED to, it would be creepy af because it would basically involve stalking her, which I’m not gonna do. not gonna do it folks. not gonna do it.

maybe if there were a way to do it without stalking her? but there’s NOT.

besides, she will probably not do this to other men. she will probably be a nice, interested, loving GF like she was to the other guys.  she just did what she did to me not because she has some evil core she’s kept hidden, but because she was confused and overwhelmed and didnt want to deal with the situation.

july 28

not much interesting to say. try to apply to 5 jobs today. want to go to store. do 4.2 miler. HECK how about a 5 miler? yes ok that sounds good. might do some 5 pm nyquil hahahaha. try not to write about YOU KNOW WHO. probably write a little about how all women are Pig Disgusting Whores hahahaha. who fook tons of ingras on the first “date.” off tinder. in cars. and vidya it on their phones. while playing pokemon and instagramming and faceboking and snapchatting and texting lol lol lol idk ikr lol

the reason i am again female sluttiness is because it HURTS PEOPLE. IT HURTS. DO NO HARM.

dont use PEOPLE as PLAYTHINGS. USE ONCE THEN THROW AWAY. NO.

i guess women use weak men as disposable playthings, becuase strong men have used the women as disposable playthings.

i prefer to work at a slow, steady speed

this is a BAD thing in those stupid job personality tests. say NO to this. but dont COMPLETELY DISAGREE because that will flag the “you are a liar distorter” flag for the employer to see. simply just disagree moderately.

slow and steady does NOT win the race. FAST wins the race. FAST and steady. not fast and flustered.

fast and steady wins you a 28k job. maybe even a 8 to 5 if you are lucky! no PRN, no rotating, no casual, no split shifts. they never taught us about these things in college. needless to say, me and my tradwife will teach them in Huhwhyte Homeschool hahahahaha.

whoops mispelled the company in the cover letter. instant rejetion hhhahaah. i am a good speller, just a bad typer. i need a spellcheck that is basically autocorrect.

sheeeeit a 37 minute application. that counts as LONG given muh average of 11.9 minutes.

ok 5 apps good enuff 4 me hahahaha.

hey i didnt ASK for this!

NOBODY ASKED ME!

was very close to getting this stainless steel safety razor. they say its better for irritation. and shaving muh neckbeard can cause some irritation.

job for Robotics Simulator? for some reason i am drawn to Robot jobs and Advanced Manufacturing jobs. this is PROBABLY a sign from GOD that I should TAKE ACTION ON.

i like muh spreadsheet because i can put in links

link to emails, link to evernotes, link to archive.is, link to pastebin, link to just about anything relevant to the jobs in the spreadsheet

want something permanent and ideally your own account so somebody else cant delete the link

just got call from this “advanced manufacturing training” center that i had interview with over a month ago, didn’t get it, now they want to int me for another, i couldnt get to the time they wanted because i have muh other int that day.

also did i mention i got not one but TWO research studies next week which EACH pay 200 shekels. HORRY SHEET. that is the most ever. so yes that is AWESOME. that is BETTER than an interview. 400 dollars for less than 4 hours of stress-free “work” where people are nice to me and asking for Muh Consumer Opinions.

but yeah get muh 12th interview. so the jahb is temporary. ask them if theres any chance of it getting extended, or renewed. also if not, would i make enough money to qualify for Unemployment. Probably NOT hahahahaha. you have to have made a certain floor amount over the past 5 quarters…..and i don’t think you can possibly do that unles you are working full time for at least 13 dollars an hour.

shit. you get all a’s in skool, you do well on tests, being measured, those measurements tell you you are way above average and should do VERY well in life, but then you get interviews, which are like pass fail classes, you either pass or you fail, no in between, and literally 95% of the time, you are going to FAIL. this IS hard to get used to. to do from doing very well, to being an Abject Failure the VAST majority of the time. it IS hard to get used to. when everyone else has succeeded, and in order to get what you most want, ie women, you HAVE to succeed at the test of Working Life, definitely the hardest test of them all. And also most WOMEN beat you at this pass fail test where you fail 95% of the time.

well at least now i LOOK GOOD when i fail hahahaha.

apply to 40 jobs at one Health System over 40 months, i think i might have finally got an interview. maybe.

see im just not USED to 99% chance of failure, 1% chance of success. WELL, ive gotten used to it for sending applications. but sometimes i still get my hopes up about interviews. well, in a couple interviews, for jobs that didnt seem like you would be slammed with weird shit all day and have to be in the hot seat fixing and explaining things to angry people who you can’t tell if theyre being unreasonable or not.

 

 

PAY RESPECT TO THE LEGACY

july 25

ok. shaved stubble, put on polo shirt and unimpressive khakis to drop off paper application. 16 pages. at municipal HR. looked pretty chill in there at 11:30 am on a monday morning. beautiful day. another good day for the lake hehehe

dr nerdluv. i HATE this phaggot. he tries to convince nerdy beta orbiters what WOMAN HATERS they are, how BAD they are, and how to let women walk all over them and treat them like GARBAGE, because to be assertive and stand up for yourself is woman hating too.  i hope this joo needs to get a REAL job. and that all women reject him for years and he doesnt even TOUCH a woman for the next 10 years. and that the only way he can keep a woman is by having open relships with them where they are allow to bang chad and tyrone and rufus and moammar and he is allow to bang nobody hahahaha. he has to watch his gf and his gf’s bull hahahaha.

so i thought, dropping off a paper application, you limit the WORST of your potential candidates.

unlike the one job which got 1000 online applications.

but HOW HARD IS IT, REALLY, to look at a resume for 2 SECONDS and decide yes or no? whether you get 100 resumes or 1000, you’re still gonna narrow it down to like 8 people tops  to actually interview. more like 5 or 6.

and you can automatically throw out anyone who doesnt have a masters degree. doesnt have a bachelors degree. has less than 10 years of experience. has a nonwhite name. has an ugly resume. has a bad cover letter. boom boom boom. in 1 or 2 hours, your whittle your list of 1000 down to the 10 people you will actually call for interviews.

so, in other words, it STILL makes no sense to accept only paper applications.

no you’re not scaring away the BEST either, beause the BEST aren’t even gonna be interested in a low level municipal office job in a sorta sketchy city.

also got a call from the university, the dream employer, for muh big second interview with them. “IT Specialist.” oh great. interview for next week now. hooray.  well i will be nervous and weird but at least i will look ok.

try this deicide album, they say its good. yeah the cover art is not so good, but this is where they got the new guitarists and supposedly that increased the songwriting quality.

also all deicide albums are SHORT, which is good. i hate albums longer than 40 minutes hahaha. your album better be long enough to fit on one LP. if not, cut the filler.

isis bombing in southern germany on july 24? not to be confused with the german mall shooter which i dont think was isis related even though the guy said aloha snackbar.

yep perfectly normal for several snackbar attacks in germany several times a week. thats the price we pay for a better future.

point is, they are not getting BETTER candidates by forcing you to print shit out and drop it off.

they are getting FEWER candidates, but not BETTER candidates.

how DO you get better candidates?

pay more and have a really good job description until you start seeing resumes of people from harvard who worked at fricken i dunno wall street and shit.

and is getting FEWER candidates really WORTH it when you can go thru 1000 resumes in 2 hours anway? pressure the HR person to stay 2 extra hours unpaid!

so yeah i hate not understanding shit. especially when i have to understand it QUICKLY AND then convince somebody of it.

also, wouldnt you have a better chance of catching a better person with the 100 rather than than 100? unless 100 is a good enough SAMPLE SIZE.

do i really think 100 people are even gonna apply for this? shit more like 50 max. and i am sure 85% will be internal people who already work at the city. part timers and shit. looking to claw their way up hahaha.

job i interview for next week appears to start at 40k. why does this place keep calling me to interview for 40k jobs? the problem is, they don’t have damn 30k jobs!!!!!!!!

every time they’ve had a closer to 30k job and ive applied for it……i never got an interview!

they WANT to interview me more for 40k jobs than 30k in other words!

did a nice 4.2 miler, got some vitamin d hopefully.

getting carpal tunnel syndrome, need some medical weed hahahahaha

seriously i dont know WHY george feels isnt smoking MJ like a madman. well really i dont know why he isnt a raging alcoholic. he drinks here and there and feels guilty about it…..but he is not really in problem range.

get very angry and feel very useless and incompetent when looking at jbos, like i am an EVEN BIGGER FAILURE AND LOSER THAN I THOUGHT. I MIGHT AS WELL K MYSELF NOW. I CANT DO ANY OF THIS STUFF. like with wimmin, i should SET MY SIGHTS LOWER. to 12 bucks an hour MAX. like i should set my sights lower on wimmin, to 6/10 MAX. none of this 7 bullshit. none of that 14 dollar an hour bullshit.

well got 4 jobs in today.

it really does take some time finding stuff to apply to. now instead of saying B or B+ or A, i just say APPLY!!!! or MAYBE apply.

there are not a lot of APPLYs, certainly not 8 a day or something like that.

NONEXEMPT is GOOD because you DO get paid overtime. I always mess this up. NONEXEMPT is GOOD. EXEMPT IS BAD. EXEMPT means you can work 80 hours a week and not get paid overtime.

EXEMPT means the job is EXEMPT FROM THE LAW. and this is one law you def do NOT want to be exempt from. cus the LAW is actually BENEFITING you.

listened to the deicide stench of redemption. it was heavy and pretty good, but yeah it def sounded different. not in a bad way though. production is not bad. i expected the drums to even be louder! i like the more “melodic” approach.

good but not mindblowing.

hey if she’s entitled to dump me without even so much as a sorry, i’m entitled to feel BAD about it!

i’m entitled to say, i’m not sure what happened, IT WASNT MY DECISION, I wasn’t consulted, she didn’t respond to me, I was greatly hurt, it was confusing and frustrating, and that’s the end of it. that’s all the damn closure there is and i’ve had to accept that.

i just don’t want dr nerdlove that piece of shit DEFENDING shitty behavior like this. yeah no ones entitled to anything we get it. but pay respect to the damn LEGACY. this is like morbid angel coming out with the most embarrassingly awful album of their career, after an 8 year hiatus, then releasing the worst album ever, and shitting on everything they ever did.

PAY RESPECT TO THE LEGACY we had by saying, yep, it was a good rel, now lets give it a good ending.

like uhhh when at the gates broke up after “slaughter of the soul.” some phaggots are too kvlt for that album, but at the time, it was a big deal. I liked the album a lot. you say welp we had something special, we can’t top that, so lets go out in a blaze of glory. better to burn out than fade away hahaha.

july 26

welp go to shrink today, thats always fun.

PAY RESPECT TO THE LEGACY. TREAT HUMANS LIKE HUMANS. NEVER THROW HUMAN BEINGS AWAY LIKE GARBAGE hahahaha.

so its best to just boil it all down to a SHORT statement like in that article I read long ago: “I developed feelings for her, she decided to end the relationship without any communication whatsoever, that hurt me GREATLY, and that was the end of that. She didnt respond to me at all, I was devastated, I’ll never know exactly what she was thinking because she refused to communicate with me, I don’t know, it was her decision not mine, she gave up, I didn’t, THE END. THE FOOKING END.”

And just refocus yourself on that SHORT concluding statement rather than DWELL on the good stuff, or DWELL on the bad stuff.

yeah the pain itself is very unique and kinda interesting, so you can dwell on it.

and you can also dwell on trying to read another person’s mind, when you have no real answers or communication.

there are a lot of quicksand opportunities to dwell here, in other words. and you want to avoid those.

i, of courshe, DWELL too much! and get stuck in dwelling and need somebody to snap me out of it. and i have to train myself to be that person.

heh. TRS came out with some new tshirts and i went and took the plunge and bought one. it will probably get shut down before the shirts even get made hahahaha.

hmmm windows 10 does not tell you when you have antivirus turned off. like i turned mine off then forgot to turn it on for a few days. hopefully didnt get a virus.

technically i looked at pornography today because there were videos linked of evalion wearing a towel and slapping herself in the face like a total autist, and another video of her chewing her toenails. then somebody linked to the supposed evalion dildo video on xvideos, and i had to look at it to determine if it was really her or not. i determined that it was not her. the woman/skank looked like a older version of her. it is totally not her. however, there are some n00dz photos of a gurl with a swastika on her stomach who looks much more like evalion. absolutely slutty.

anyway shame on her father for letting her down when she needed him the most. now his fatherless daughter has become a narcissistic, sociopathic camwhore on the internet, when she should have been a nice gurl having babies with a nice man.

(we dont even know if she’s fully white, but she looks pretty white and i will give her the benefit of the doubt.)

we know that she grew up in a Broken Home of Divorce hahahaha yuppp that will do that every time.

anyway who cares, but the gossip is fooking SHADY. SHADY drama there with her doing camwhore stuff. never be a camwhore. EVER.  you cant spell camwhore without WHORE.

wahhhh That Woman was never a camwhore.

well i wonder if she sent n00dz to her ingra boifran? PROBABLY. GOD DAMN DIRTY MUDSHARK.

ONCE YOU GO BLAKK, WE DONT WANT YOU BACK.

MUDSHARK.

BURN THE COAL, PAY THE TOLL.

sheeeeeeit. today might have to make an uncomfortable confrontation regarding this guy who plays at our social event and is often drunk and obnoxious. i can tune it out better than most, but it is really starting to bother our team leadership, who is getting to the breaking point of blatantly asking the guy to leave. now i have to stand by that to give a united front. now the guy is obnoxious and i would prefer if he were not glomming onto our group. and he’s had this happen to him before. im just terrible at being a HARDASS and laying down the law. which is why i have never had a GF hahahahaha. for more than a few weeks.

i dunno, we;ll see how it goes. i mean i deal with awkward shit every week hahahaha.

very young jeff bridges was in a movie with andy griffith? something about a bunch of joos in hollywitz in the 20s or something.

 

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

july 23

had weird nightmare that people were gradually being taken over by aliens. like body snatchers but they didnt look like humans at all, they looked more like Giant HR Giger Xenomorphs.

funny that you seem to be sleeping the deepest when you are having a terrifying nightmare that you WANT to wake up from. normally you LIKE and WANT to be sleeping deeply. but not now.

is it a good or a bad thing when an employer makes you  print out and sign an application and makes you come in to the office between 4:30pm to drop off the physical papers?

it sounds embarrassingly behind the times, like you’re hiding behind this outdated procedure and will keep the best candidates away.

but there’s also the argument that its a barrier to entry that will keep the WORST candidates away.

so, are you keeping away GOOD candidates, or keeping BAD candidates away?

probably BOTH tbh. you just snip off the outlying tails: the very best AND the very worst.

is it worth it?

but then this is a municipal position where quality is not necessarily necessary!

but companies can be inefficient as fook TOO. and managers much more incompetent than the people they manage.

well, the BEST candidates will eventually find jobs anyway, and probably not without having to go thru 20 interviews, or submitting six hundred applications.

in other words, i am more bad than good hahahaha. on the bad side of the bell curve hehehehe. below average. how do below average people get jobs? by looking for BELOW AVERAGE JOBS.

having an honest perception of what YOUR value on the market really is.  be like, i’m not worth much, and I know it.

but i kinda want the municipal, unionized, 37.5 hours a week, job, so i will follow their EMBARRASSINGLY OUTDATED policies of printing out the pdf.

do they just not KNOW how to accept applications electonically? there are LOTS of people out there who dont know how 2 email, how to add attachments to an email, cant grok how to make passwords for an account. hell no will they know how to set up a pdf to accept a verified signature.

shit you dont even NEED a signature. you can just type in your full name, or check this box to act as your signature.

or just email a god damn resume and cover letter and be done with it.

but noooooooooooooooooo.

I’ve got to PRINT OUT SIXTEEN PAGES and do a signature in ink.

but its a 34k job. kind of out of my league no?

yeah well i have recently interviewed for a 40k a year job mother fooker hahahaha.

aaannnnddd the professional woman i interviewed with on wednesday is not gonna accept my linkedin invite, even though she has 250 connections. well i didnt EXPECT her to anyway. but i am still ENTITLED to call her a bitch hahahaha even though my EXPECTATIONS were MANAGED hahahaha.

the LANGUAGE these people speak! so gay. GAY.wav. YOU FAIRY.wav.

http://www.realmofdarkness.net/pc/sb/pacino/3

oh lord soundboards hahahahahaha

i dont care if david mamet is a HUGE joo, this is still a great movie.

stands the test of time better than woody allens immoral filth.

i am thinking david mamet is way more moral than woody allen.

hopefully. i’m certainly willing to throw mamet in the oven too if he doesnt pass the test.

thats emblematic of muh confusion and weakness, i used to be a HUGE woody allen fan. I thought his neurotic bullshit was SOPHISTICATED and INTELLIGENT.

i still dont really want to crap on “hannah and her sisters”, prob my fav allen film.

but i can definitely crap on it where needed. like its never ok to cheat on your wife with your wifes sister. or to cheat on your boifran with your sisters husband. and woody allen attempting to write goy characters is more insulting and patronizing than women writing male characters hahahaha.  he makes the goys so weak and jooish rather than strong and proud.

absolutely no need to watch woody’s homages to bergman, just watch bergman instead, and there’s big problems with bergman too. he was a white goy but imho he symbolizes sweden becoming jooified. behind every swede there is a joo rubbing his hairy merchant hands hahahaha. be like the poles and throw the bums out.

it’s hard to see all this when you are a 20 year old child swept up in the romanticism of it all.

so youre a jooish neet offended by my anti jooishness? too bad. have your rich father get you a job and get you expensive psych md’s. go to the jcc and bang 18 year jooish sluts. become a counselor at joocamp and bang the female joocamp counselors. just dont get butthurt when theyre banging all the other male counselors. and administrators.

its easier for whites to become neets than joos, because in the current year, joos have a better social support system. your whole family can be poor white trash doing meth and drinking moonshine. there’s no counterpart in the jooish community. every joo has a rich uncle or cousin. doctors, lawyers, executives, business owners. shit you could probably get a job in israel too.  i have no desire to help joos. they have enough help. my fellow goyim are the ones who NEED help in this area.

the fatherland made a good point in epsidoe 36 (i think), the one with jeronimus guest and in fatherland after dark hour 3, they talked about “The BQ” and using MJ.

they made the good point that even though MJ is degenerate, you dont need to get into a Purity Spiral about it, and if you Do MJ once a year to help you Bond Deeper with your Wife, that is fine. Exec Producer Bradan “Killer of Dogs” tells story about how he was having marital trouble so they went to a church sponsored marriage retreat. there was an implied point which I would have made explicit: oh you mean his wife didnt just leave him when the going got tough? she was willing to go get marital help with him, and put in effort to WORK through the tough times? good.

anyway part of the thing was they got a night in a nice hotel, so they decided to go to the washington state legal MJ dispensary and get some brownies to spice up the night. they had a lot of fun and did not turn into degen MJ zombies like 75% of MJ users.

point is, degen things, in MODERATION, are not so bad.

except being a slut and giving up secs to strangers easily. but that was never on the table. these are men doing degen things in strcit moderation with their LONGTERM MONOG WIVES.

like the idea of doing Butt Stuff with your Wife just once to say you did it. totally different than crazy butt sluts getting random bar badbois to do me in the ass.

they mentioned a degenerate bar that was doing a “walk of shame” promotion by giving free bloody marys to any woman who showed a receipt for PLAN B purchase. we all agreed that was absolutely disgusting.

i felt bad for jeronimus because he didnt have the best showing. he could have done a lot better and I think he was just having an off day. he sounded a bit like an autist and also was not talking where his opinion would have been very welcome by me.

i can relate. like where you just have a BAD DAY and then the whole world judges you for that. and you know you’re having a bad day but you just can’t shake it. you just have to survive through it, try to get good sleep, and hopefully tomorrow will be better. but when everyone is judging you and thinking youre a loser and an autist and an ubermensch and a neet just because you’re having a bad day and you can’t communicate quite right…….that SUCKS.

its HARD to be at the top of your communication game at all times, especially when talking to people all day.

that’s why I will always accept emails as valid form of communication too hahahahaha. shit, take a few days and email me when you are having a better day.

so i gotta drive out there during working hours, which normies could not do, print out 16 pages of paper, which could probably cost 1$ to mail which normies would have to do, then pay 25c at the parking meter hahaha. just to Drop Off a job application.

hungary. another great country. white as hell. weird asian language but that hasnt stopped finns from being great. and hungarians are probably less asian than finns ahahahahahhahaha.

you know your gf is at least a 7 when you can honestly say you would LIKE to see her in a bathing suit, especially a 2-piece “bikini” type. if the thought makes you cringe…..she is below a 7 for sure. and i would never want to be with that type of woman long term, or Create New Life with her!

yeah physical attraction is crude, but its necessary even for a principled moral nondegenerate. needless to say, i found That Woman very attractive. technically she was a 7, but 7 is still pretty good, and with my luv for her, she skyrocket to an 8, 9, or 10. WIFE GOGGLES. LUV GOGGLES. I would have LUVED to see her in a bathing suit. all that soft white flesh.

people are FAT because they are so busy WORKING they dont have TIME to eat and be healthy. Since they are WORKING 60 hours a week at least, having working lunches, all they can do is get fast food, and INHALE the fast food while they do their WORK. and THAT is why people are morbidly obese.  and then even if all you did after you got out of work between work and bed, was exercise, it wouldnt be enough to burn off all that god damn mcdonalds you ate like a pig. an overworked pig hahahaha.

its not uncommon for people to have heart attacks and die on the job, i learned. doesnt have to be a physical job at all. they just need to be fat and unhealthy and older. spend all day eating fast food, drinking soda, dealing with 90000 angry customers, and you giving them the runaround on their confusing issues because it costs too much to fix the problem with your shitty product and erything is a goddamn charade, you get stressed out, boom heart attack dead.

great. how fancy do i have to dress up for dropping off a damn application? i mean its the hottest part of the summer (which i am very thankful for, i luv hot weather), its 90 degrees out there so….

i mean i will dress up for the job, i will dress up for an interview and wear a suit coat in 90 degree waether while i wipe my forehead with paper towels, but dropping off an application? i havent dropped off an application in 3 years hahahaha. and that was for a damn municipal job too. noticing a pattern here. cities are inefficient and incompetent hahahaha and only survive because they are public tax supported leviathans.

kinda want to get some sun early in the afternoon. like 1 pm.

ok did that. did 2.8 mile powerwalk in 95 degree weather, about 55 minutes, got some good sun, vitamin d, took shower.

sheeeeit. 1 year into The Recovery and only now am I realizing that SHE DIDNT KNOW ME AS WELL AS I THOUGHT SHE DID.

In other words WE WERENT AS CLOSE AS I THOUGHT WE WERE.

I thought we were close because I knew alot about her. women don’t usually let me get that close. (but they spread their life creators for random men for instant gratification like ingras.)

really? you think its SPECIAL that a WOMAN is TALKING ABOUT HERSELF?

heh well i did because she didnt seem like a narcissist exhibitionist and actually had a private life.

but point im trying to make, did she really know ME? HELL NO!!! She didnt know about my past with women, she didnt know the story of muh high school and college years, she didnt know that much about my life prior to when i started working at the easy job with her.

i mean, i dont really LIKE talking about these things with people, and she didnt really want to PRY them out of me. the result is, she didn’t know ME NEARLY as wel as I knew HER.

and yeah that was my fault. mostly.

but it also explains how she could forget about me a LOT easier than I could forget about her. she didnt really KNOW me.

hehehehe it’s not really a POSITIVE, feelgood realization hahaha.

maybe if she REALLY knew me, she would have DITCHED me a LOT EARLIER.

and THAT would have been GOOD because it would have saved me a lot of pain!

lesson: make sure they know YOU just as much as you know THEM. if they are telling you intimate things about themselves, return the favor with telling them intimate things about you.

nobody told me that being a WEIRDO would make you a loser with women and with friends…….but it would ALSO affect your ability to MAKE A LIVING as nobody wants to HIRE a WEIRDO.

NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE A WEIRDO. 

heheheh.

thing is, i’m not THAT weird, i am just shy and quiet and boring and lame. i am not a total psychopath, i just have really low quality. like an ahtlete with a really low rating. im just shitty at everything hahahahaha.

too boring, too shy, too wimpy, too quiet, too prudish, too nervous, too awkward, too lame.

also you GOT to have something wrong with you to be 30+ years old and never had a REAL gf. theres a huge red flag there!

so because of THAT people think I am a psycho weirdo creep…..but really I never had a GF because I not too weird, but just didn’t quite make the grade. like a DUD. almost made the minimum, but not quite.

he’s not a PSYCHO, he’s just BELOW THE MINIMUM, hahahahahaha.

why would a company keep re-posting a job like a month later?

why would they delete all the resumes they were sent the first time around?

because none of the 1000 resumes the first time were good enough?

they are holding out for a better candidate, than the 1000 candidates they have got so far?

why not just call the best person out of that 1000?

because the best person out of that 1000 wasn’t good enough, so now they’re gonna try to get a NEW 1000?

or is it just Job Growth Theater? its not a real job opening? they don’t intend to EVER fill this “job?” it just makes it LOOK like their company is doing well, or the economy is doing well?

you think their Office Manager even knows? you’d have to talk to the area manager or president or ceo or board. and you aren’t gonna talk to them. you can’t.

and even if you COULD, you think they’d tell YOU? Joe Flabeetz off the the Streetz?

thinking about recreationally using nyquil during the day, same way I would smoke an MJ if i had some.

no, OF COURSE i would not go over the dosage because im aware of the dangers of acetominophen, unlike women or nonwhites.

so bradan fatherland is like 40 years old and has only done MJ like 3 times in his life. and he lives in damn washington where its LEGAL. i dont think we need to worry about HIM. No I like him a lot, he is very laid back and much less autistic than jim, and probably more fun to hang out with hahahaha.

i mean i really like all the guys on the show. ryan no1 i might have the most mancrush on because he is a total alpha male, very charismatic, and probably has an attractive 7 or above wife hhahahaha. and otto just seems like a very nice, friendly, down to earth guy. jim is the most ridiculous and autistic, but he’s a good guy too.

but i also think about george feels. so he lives in colorado and DOESNT do MJ, that says a lot in my book. ANYONE who lives in a legal weed state and isnt 420 blaze it all day long. not that thats a good thing! its DEGENERATE to use MJ every day! smoke weed erry day! THATS DEGENERATE AF!!!!! but i can totally understand it, IVE BEEN THERE, and I might go back there again. it TEMPTS me like none other.

George feels, i think it might help him tho. prob better than him drinking. not that he drinks THAT much. oh you drank 5 beers last night. get back to me when you are drinking at least 12 beers a day. and go on binges where you stay up all night drinking over a Fifth of Hard Booze getting wasted AF. I dont think george does this. he drinks 4 or 5 ciders or guinesses a few nights a week and feels all guilty about it. he’s not even driving around drunk hahahaha.

get back to me when you are drinking cheap malt liquor, cheap bottom shelf whiskey, or cheap boxed wine.

people who want to get drunk so bad they will drink steel reserve WARM.

just the thought of it makes me nauseous now. thank god. that is the proper reaction.

this is why i like podcasts with 2 people having an interview or conversation. they can pull you out of Downward Spirals of Negative Thoughts, and you can do the same for them. Which is why i think it would be a real neat thing for me to have a Skype Talk with George Feels.

more than 2 people, it gets tricky, like on the fatherland. then some people dont talk so much. 3 is do able but 4 is prob too much.

same deal with the millennial woes hangouts. prob why i stopped listening to those. just too many damn people.

2 people is my sweet spot.

HA, company wants references who are NOT former employers/managers, but who have been your NEIGHBORS for 3 to 5 years. Apparently Eggy got butthurt at this and was rude to the recruiter hahahaha.

i have seen a few applications ask for Non Work References, so I just used the same Work References as usually do. I never had a real life recruiter ask for them though.

well eggy will be blacklisted by that recruiter…..but recruiters are bullshit anyway basically meant to keep people AWAY from jobs. more job theater. i mean they never get back to you anyway. except maybe with eggy they put a note in his file saying this guy is an autist who got angry at the recruiter. if they even have a system for cases. candidate tracking system. they just throw everything away hahahaha. SORRY WE HAVE NO RECORD OF THAT.

just curious. WHY do recruiters ask for non work related references?

to paint a FULLER PICTURE of you than employers can give? to really know what kind of person you are? to screen out weirdos and neets and autists that do good work but are antisocial and weird? again, its all bullshit designed to turn people AWAY. they REALLY DONT CARE. NEVER has a non work related reference MADE THE DIFFERENCE. i just want to see the kind of bullshit the recruiters say about why they do this jooery.

http://www.askamanager.org/2013/04/why-do-employers-ask-for-personal-references-rather-than-professional-ones.html

i actually respect and sort of trust askamanager’s opinion. and she agrees personal references are BULLSHIT. THANK YOU.

ok just had some nyquil. 6.11 pm.

today is the type of PERFECT DAY to go to the lake. 90 degrees all day, HOT and sunny. i wanted to go to the lake but i didnt want to go alone. and i couldnt think of anyone i wanted to go to the lake with……except YOU KNOW WHO. and i havent talked to her in a YEAR.

what would alpha male do? just go to the lake alone and then make tons of hawt young female friends when he shows up by being all charismatic.

COMPANIES should run SCHOOLS. currently schools, even GOOD schools, can’t guarantee that you will be employable. if Companies Ran Schools For Children, K-12, this wouldn’t happen.

If Companies Ran Schools….well at the very least the kids would be prepared for a job at that company hahahaha.

schools would just be 12 years of job training.

why dont they just do that?

but then again, i am a fooking OUTLIER. most normies who go to normie skool get normie jobs.  i am only speaking for 1% of the popular. the real WEIRDOS.

but I’m not a WEIRDO, I’m just SUBPAR, hahaha. SUBMINIMUM.  just Not Good Enough, Unfortunately.  Not what we were looking for, sorry.

well, thank you for saying sorry at least! hahahaha.

instead of saying B+ or B or A in your job bookmarks, i have started putting like B+, APPLY!!! in them, so I know which ones I am more serious about applying for. because that’s all that REALLY matters. am I REALLY gonna apply to this one or not. Some job you know right away. those you put APPLY!!! in the bookmark title so you can spot them quickly, when you are ready to apply for a few jobs and want to take a break from scouring the damn indeed list of fake jobs hahaha.

i thought about how i wanted to take HER to the lake and beach and stare at her big pale white ass in a bathing suit and then have luving but masculine pair bonding secs with her.

then i thought, well she’s just doing that with someone else now. well, she’s probably working at her new job, making 16 dollars an hour, which i can never hope to make. and shell have a long hard day and then see her new boifran and night and get some long hard dick to relieve all that stress.

FINE. you can take all the dicks you want. just TREAT ME THE WAY YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED. TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND A HEART. JUST BE NICE TO ME.  you can take all the black cok you want, just BE NICE to me when you dump me.

If i were to do skypes, i’d do one with george feels, def do one with millennial woes, do some with these guys from depression forums. maybe one with a fatherland guy. hahahaha assuming any of those guys would say yes to the idea hahahaha.

i have two main interests apart from muh own navelgazing: huhwhyte nationalist and loser neet feels hahahaha. maybe GOD wants me to combine the two.

well, lemme just say I’m very comfortable speaking for the loser neet feels community. I am NOT comfortable at all speaking for the other community.  i just CANT. they dont want losers speaking for them, shit I dont want losers speaking for them, as a loser I dont WANT to speak for them.

maybe GOD is trying to teach me a lesson to not be racist, and he is gonna answer my prayers in a mysterious way. like i want to have a white waifu and have white children, maybe what GOD will do is send me a stumpy potatoey laotian single mother and i will get to be a surrogate father to her asian bastards, to teach me that Race doesn’t really matter, and that you can love children who aren’t your children as if they ARE your children.

and I would say to the LORD, sorry but thats just not good enough. I asked for WHITE children. white biological children of my own. that was the MINIMUM. you gave me SUB MINIMUM. I do not accept your halfass answer to my prayers. dont you have a QUALITY department hahahahaha. this one is a DUD, hahaha. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. GOTTA DO BETTER, LORD.

the lord works in mysterious ways. sometimes to our prayers he says yes, sometimes he says no, and sometmes he says NOT YET. OR, i’m gonna answer your prayer, but in a totally different way than you expected. you want a wife, i’m gonna send you an ugly nonwhite white to teach you lesson about not being racist and lookist.  its only the NONRACIST people that get wives of their own race, hahahaha. they don’t have any lessons they needed to learn

discipline. being able to do things you don’t like doing, because you HAVE to do them.

of course i try to JOO this by saying, well, i’ll DO it, just dont expect a good job.

NOPE. it STILL has to have good quality. no slacking on quality. DISCIPLINE is not only about doing things when you dont want to do them………but still doing them WELL. HORRY SHEET.

i am an expert in grudgingly, half assedly doing stuff, because i dont like it, i dont want to do it.

yet i dont get good results, because i do the stuff half assed! like maybe i am half assing all these 300 job appliations, because I am not painstakingly crafting every application to the job. because i am only spending 12 minutes per application rather than 30 minutes per application.  i have my Plug And Play sentences in my cover letter…..but the WHOLE COVER LETTER isnt tailored. BUT MAYBE IT SHOULD BE.

but yeah. funny that if two despairers are talking to each other, you can help pull back the other person from spiralling down into despair, being nice to them. but you cant do that with yourself!!!!!! this is a very interesting thing. there is something we can learn and use here.

namely, me talking here, or george making solo videos, is just beating a dead horse, a despair spiral. there needs to be checks and stop signs and guardrails and such to keep us from going off the track. and you can even have another despairer do that for you! they can help others better than they can help themselves!

and i think this is pretty cmmon among despairers!

so maybe this is the ultimate cure for despair: to help other people with despair.

and yeah thats the stated mission of this blog, always has been……..but in reality, its just been me whining about my own bullshit hahahaha rather than helping others.

oh eggy growing his nice long hair. i used to have nice long hair. but i was still a weird creep virgin. then i cut my hair and i sorta got some confidence briefly. then i wanted to grow my hair out again. but it was too late. i had quickly gone bald before age 30.  BRUTAL. shit i STILL might grow the SIDES long hahahaha.

its really not THAT weird for men to have barely any experience with women, like be 30+ and have never had a serious gf. but WOMEN think its WEIRD AS HELL, because they dont appreciate the natural differneces between men and women, and it IS realy weird for a woman to make it to 30 without having a serious boifran.

because women dont have to DO anything.

WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY, MEN ARE THE DEMAND.

women just do NOT understand this, and men understand it at least implicitly.

sex, relationships, luv, dating, cuddles, affection, making out, anything in that ballpark. women are the supply, men are the demand.

THE SUPPLY CANT DEMAND ITSELF.

The demand can’t supply itself, hahahahaha.

when the demand is high and the supply is low, the price is HIGH AS FOOK.

and the demand will NEVER be low, and the supply will NEVER be high.

well, the supply COULD be higher.  supply of good, decent, marriageable women that is.

july 24

deicide “stench of redemption” 2006 is seen as something of a comeback ater replacing old guitar players  with new ones. i liked a couple decide albums up to “serpents of the light” which i remember when that one came out when i was a total adolescent teen.  SotL was pretty good, then they went on an embarrassingly decline and I just STAHPPED and started listening to opeth and became too cool for deicide. then of course opeth became uncool and uninspired and boring and lame.

now i dont listen to music becuase music is dgenerate hahahaha.

but seriously i dont really care about music made after 2005 and there is plenty of stuff i missed the first time around. like the deicide “legion” album. or sepultura “schizophrenia”. or fookin racist russian black metal bands hahahaha.

i mean seriously. i should be the worlds biggest NSBM fan hahahahaha.

had some nyquil yesterday at like 6 pm, went to bed at 9:30 pm, slept pretty good, did not get out of bed till like 9:30 am, this is pretty standard for nyquil hahaha.

spent all sunday afternoon reading damn metal reviews hahaha.

ok the albums of the day are deicide legion

i never listened to this album and always knew it as “the most technical” deicide album. but decide was never a very technical band! i am really looking for old skool death metal that is br00tal and heavy. hoping there is a heavy guitar sound and blast beats. i am also trying to get a better feel for steve asheim as a drummer, since most people say he is a good drummer, but how good is he really? but i am also looking for something lowbrow, sincere, and badass.

of course later on “technical death metal” became a thing, (gorguts?) and “brutal death metal” became another thing (devourment?) so I am fully aware of that. which is also why i wanted to go back to 1992 before all that shit even existed.

other albums of today:

sepultura: schizophrenia and arise

axis of advance: strike

angelcorpse: exterminate

morbid angel: covenant

niden div 187: impergium

you know i bet at least 20% of men are like me, basically virgins who never had a gf, and women think it is SO WEIRD, BUT IT REALLY ISNT! 20% of men are like us……but women have never met any of us!

the mysterious leader of deathspell omega, hasjarl, is really a 37 year old man named christian bouche who owns a real estate company called sci trident or something and probably is a total EXTRAVERT NORMIE talking to CLIENTS all day and wearing a tailored SUIT and SMILING and Closing deals and making 100k a year and drives a NICE car and wears NICE clothes and probably has an ATTRACTIVE GF from all the money he’s making in real estate hahahahahaha. so how can you take his kvlt music seriously now hahahaha.

well DsO hasnt been relevant since 2012 anyway hahahahahahaha. why did they just STOP suddenly? did he just run out of steam? get too busy making money?

i am being facetious. i hope he makes plenty of money and more importantly, has plenty of white children and doesnt waste any more time on “orthodox satanism.” no such thing for a grown ass white man to be doing.

but again they havent done a damn thing since 2012. cuz he is too busy making money and having secs with attractive wimmin like a NORMIE hahahahaha.

so anyway thats my big thing for this post:

25% of men are 30 year old kissless virgins like me who never had a gf.  it’s NOT THAT WEIRD. women only think its weird because by DEFINITION, because all women have been In Rels, they’ve never really met one of these millions of men! also the men aren’t shouting this from the rooftops, because they are ashamed. they don’t talk about it with women. well i say they should! we should come out of the closet and tell every woman we know that we are huge virgins who never had a gf, just so women, and people in general, but especially women, and to us ourselves, we can see that we ARENT THAT WEIRD!

where am i getting this 25% number? i cant prove it……but YOU CANT PROVE IT EITHER!!!!!!

All about the seed of doubt. i don’t think I could say 50% of men. but 20 or 25%, yeah sure!

of COURSE none of the men women have fooked are VIRGINS! because theyre FOOKING them!!!!!

you’d have to look at the male orbiter friends of the women. certainly they are ashamed of being virgins, and the vain women doesn’t care enough to know.

see, you women ALREADY KNOW some Male Virgins Who Never Had A GF, you just never cared enough to ask! but yeah a good 30% of your Beta Orbiters are Virgins!

You think thats WEIRD? then cut them off of orbiting you! DO THEM A FAVOR!

and do it nicely too! but also be honest! be like, you’re not a bad guy, and this isn’t your fault. its MY fault. but there is NO chance between you and me. its not RIGHT for me to keep leading you on like this. its not RIGHT to use people for the attention and adoration. i will NEVER be your GF. find a woman who will.

heh. its like ive become more hateful against all women, after this one woman.

yet when i was getting along with that one woman, i wasn’t nearly as hateful towards all women. i was more balanced, less hateful.

basically i need to be getting along with at least one woman in order to “humanize” women for me, to show me that not all women are horrible, AND to give me the confidence that I CAN get along with a woman, and am not some Huge Weird Virgin who Repels Women.

it’s hard to not think like that when I don’t have any female friends hahahaha. no evidence to the contrary.

went for 4.2 minle pwoerwalk. listend to arise and legion. arise has great heavy guitar sound. i probably didnt fully understand or appreciate this when i first heard it when i was young and i preferred the “groove” stuff like chaos ad.  yes, i did like “roots.” NO, I did not like “against.” I had the first soulfly album but I didnt super like it. but it was better than “against” hahaha. but after that sepultura became shameful and max became shameful and I forgot that, together, they USED to be a force to be VERY reckoned with. like on “arise.” great metal album for any metal fan.

deicide legion was….also early 90s scott burns stuff. the first deicide i ever heard was “once upon the cross” 1995, which was sorta new at the time, and i remember seeing it in the record store and being frightened of how blasphemous and evil the cover was. like wow this deicide band is the most extreme thing ever. then my friend got the album and i made a tape of it because i was too scared to actually buy the album hahaha. but i enjoyed the album and it was my first real taste of Death Metal. and then serpents of the light came out and i was fully on board with that one. also listened to their live album which came out after that, it was a great live album. “when satan lives.” and also listened to their first album a bit. but totally skipped over “legion.”

so i listened to it today and it was pretty good. super distorted and kinda sloppy guitars. the bass mixes well with it though, you can always hear the bass rumbling.  drums sound pretty good, hold the chaos together. benton sounds hateful but not as intimidating as he did on “once upon the cross”, here he sounds more human. no he sounds fine, no problems there.

but yeah OUTC and SOTL are definitely more catchy than this. better riffs. but legion definitely has replay value. some MJ would help though. and I bet it sounds better loud on good speakers.

see i think goatwh0re knows how to get really good production. the stuff is clear, and heavy, and not super polished. but the guitars sound way heavier than say “legion.” although their newer stuff is not as Inspired as their Older Stuff. also their drums are never clicky. this is how guitars and drums should sound IMHO. basically if all metal albums sounded like that, I would be happy. purists will say its not raw enough. i saw it’s plenty raw enough. if it sounds TOO raw then it stops being HEAVY and just sounds like CARDBOARD.

Women think its SO WEIRD when a guy is a virgin and or nevergf. Theyre like EW WEIRD uh NO I never met any weirdos like that. Well shit yeah you have. every guy you rejected as being too nice or too weird. just look at your orbiters. if you treated your orbiters as people and ACTUALLY GOT TO KNOW THEM, you would find that some of them are virgin nevergfs.

TREAT PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE.

YES the orbtiers are dumb for orbiting around you like a servile puppy dog, but if you were a virgin nevergf desperate for a gf, youd do the same thing too.

GET TO KNOW YOUR ORBITERS. you will be surprised at what you learn. you could learn soemthing from their lives of quiet desperation hahahaha. gain some sympathy for nevergfs who are just lonely as fook. learn more about the nevergf/neverrel life. shit yeah its scary. be thankful that you will never know it. but you SHOULD make an effort to learn about it. because its the life many of your orbiters live, and you dont even KNOW.

NEVERGF. WE ARE LEGION. EXPECT US.

aajjajajaja. 25% of men baby.

well, it doesnt MATTER if a 16 year old or 18 year old boy is a virgin. it really starts being “WEIRD” around age 25. so, lets say 25% of men over 25 are nevergf virgins. there. BELIEVE IT.

IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE AND ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW THEM as people rather than adoration-showering objects, you’d see that you actually know a LOT of male nevergf virgins! ITS NOT THAT WEIRD!

hey it wasnt for lack of trying! I WANTED To make it work! THEY NEVER WANTED to make it work! They just wanted to WALK OUT and BAIL and leave me in the LURCH.

I didnt BAIL on the relship, THEY did!!!!!!! I wanted to put in the WORK, THEY didn’t!!!!!

thats why i am nevergf hahahaha.  its THEIR fault hahahahahaha.

when woman2012 dumped me (and she was VERY GOOD about it, but i was STILL upset), i was just starting to become friends with woman2015. I was getting along with her really well, but i couldnt even THINK of her like that, i was still obsessed with the other woman. but it was good that i could get along with a woman. talk to a owman normally. i don’t have that now. so i totally doubt my ability to talk to women, get along with women, have female friends, get along with women like human beings. i don’t have any of that at the moment like i did in 2012, 2013. 2014. some of 2015. although things were bad in 2015. worse than I even knew.

well i sorta get along with some women. i see peoples GF’s at my weekly social event. we are nice to eaach other and i do VERY small talk with them. but i had gotten closer to That Woman in ONE MONTH than i have gotten to any of these women. which isnt to say That Woman Moved FAST – just that we both got along really well and hit it off immediately and had small talk really easily and could just talk real easy about lots of stuff, in a way that I can’t just do with anybody and everybody. but some people CAN. especially women hahaha. they turn on the charm and make you feel special, but you’re really not hahahaha. how many guys has she done that with in the past year? how many new guys she fooked? met from dating sites? how many new omega virgin orbiters has she had that think they have such a special connection? how many chumps thought the same thing i did? WOW i just NEVER get along with WOMEN so well, this gurl is really SPECIAL!!!!!

but i can tell you she honestly wasnt a slut, was not an extravert, did not get out much, did not meet a lot of new people. at least back then. who knows what she’s become now. in the past year. and it just DOESNT MATTER because I will never know her again! but you can see i still want to!

i was thinking of getting hooker this year, maybe that would help. actually making the call wuld be the hardest.

also i would have to get a damn job of course.

get a damn job so i can buy MJ and get a hooker hahahahaha.

get blazed on MJ and then walk around for 2 hours listening to music and fatherland and george feels and self made podcasts of me reading Knowledge about whatever my ridic job is hahahahaha. trying to learn and know EVERYTHING so i am prepared for explaining the most ridiculous shit to angry callers day in day out. well WHY cant you help me. sorry just can. no you CANT speak to the supervisor. hes in a meeting. no we dont call people back.

why dont they teach THESE soft skills in schools? if COMPANIES ran schools, like they should……they WOULD!

heheheh why didnt SCHOOL teach me the things COMPANIES want in order to give me a JOB and PAY me ?!?!??!?!?! Like how to bullshit people who want to speak to a manager? like how to bullshit when something makes no sense but you have to handle it now and can’t pass it to someone else?

ht     tp://scottberkun.com/essays/53-how-to-detect-bullshit/

unfortunately, all the articles on the internet are on how to detect bullshit and how to destroy it…….not on how to CREATE IT CONVINCINGLY ON THE SPOT, UNDER PRESSURE, WHEN IT IS MOST NEEDED.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=how%20to%20come%20up%20with%20bullshit%20explanations%20on%20the%20spot

googles got NOTHING hhahahaha.

i mean my bullshit detector is pretty good. i think EVERYTHING is bullshit hahahah. i dont LIKE bullshit. i hate it. i dont WANT to do it. I just HAVE To do it to survive on muh job.

no i dont! i havent done this in a YEAR!

george feels said that his father, who had been unemployed for THREE long years, complained about his previous job like it had just happened YESTERDAY. it was that unpleasant, and that fresh in his mind still. its like you can be permanently SCARRED, george noted.

i kinda have that. it has been over a year, yet I can remember that unpleasant feeling as clear as day.

too bad I can’t remember detailed STORIES that I can use in an INTERVIEW to show how AWESOME and SMART and cool under pressure I am!

but yeah it IS stupid and scary and sad that a bad job can almost SCAR you like this.  hope you never know that feel, GEORGE. check your unscarred privilege hahahaha.

all this stuff on the internet on how to DEAL WITH bullshit, but NOTHING on HOW TO bullshit. so how do all these bullshitters learn? it just comes NATURALLY to them? it must! cuz I don’t see a single article TEACHING somebody HOW TO bullshit. I would really like to read that article.

no, there is ONE article out there, and its OK, but I need MUCH MORE.

 

 

YOU CANT CALL EM TRAITORS WHEN THEY NEVER HAD ANY LOYALTY TO BEGIN WITH

july 21

sheeit. gonna bite the bullet and install windows 10 already. this isnt gonna go away and its got pretty good reviews, safe to say it is rather windows 7 like, and not windows 8 like.

i mean when huge businesses innovate it SHOULD mean a better product….but it DOESNT. its always a damn gamble.

i dunno. its clearly better than windows 8. but thats not saying much. is it better than good ol windows 7?

well uhhh it will allow me to learn windows 10 in case it gets used in business hahahaha.

if it REALLY sucks i have 30 days to switch back.

but i mean microsoft will continue supporting and updating windows 7 for another few years right? just like they did with XP. they updated XP until damn 2013 or 14.

i might take a real /r/theredpill view towards women here for a few years, just real cynical and woman-hating, women are nothing but bitches and whores,

ok about 80 minutes later, have successfully upgraded to windows 10.  yeah it looks kinda dumb, i like windows 7 better hahaha but at least it saved my shit and i didnt have to reinstall everything and i could get right back into chrome and write about my neuroses and failures and shortcomings very quicky hahahaha.

ok. so just be hateful towards women. got it. down pat. you can trust me. i have been hating women for YEARS hahahaha.

i mean they are more irresponsible than ingra children. accept it, or get assmad about it. you can never change it. all you can do is be a power, authoritative, commanding LEADER of women, and unless you are willing to do that “extra” work, you will never be with a woman.

so i will be theredpill but with a few important differences: I am staunchly pro-white, i am pro-white above all else, I am basically a white nationalist, that supercedes and overrides theredpill (not to be confused with The Red Pill, hahahaha) when it needs to. also white women are needed to have white children, white families, so women are important in that regard.

you can have a good woman if she gets married young as a virgin, has several kids young before her career, and devotes herself to homeschooling those children. and by age 25 she has at least 3 young children and is doing that and has only ever been with ONE man, her husband; and she went straight from her father’s care to her husband’s care.

hard lines. NO HYMEN, NO DIAMOND hehehehe. ONE guy is too many. If youre not a virgin, youre a WHORE.

and plenty of redpill and mgtows and even more extreme woman haters would say this isn’t enough, this is SOFT, because ALL women are whores, and you shouldn’t want to have children with them, stupid goyim. just bang sluts and enjoy the decline.

well i say bang sluts too, but don’t let this sidetrack you from having children.

if you are a powerful enough man, you can afford to have children with whores and still raise them up good. look at GLORIOUS GOD EMPEROR TRUMPENFUHRER. he married a series of gold digging whores but still had many healthy, strong children. well except for his race traitor daughter hahahaha. but his sons turned out GREAT.

also I think his current marriage will last the rest of his life and that she wont try to extort him.

how did his divorces go with those other bitches? I imagine he would AGGRESSIVELY defend his assets from their treachery. did that work out? He can certainly afford top lawyers.

and who do you think has more influence on the children? the flaky bitch mother, or DONALD FOOKIN TRUMP???

Ideally he should have married more traditional women who were serious about being loyal. i think he might have got that with the current wife. hopefully. having a young son never hurts either.

also he made all his kids work in his company from a young age and gain a good work ethic. this is great.

the only place he screwed up besides marrying gold digging whores, was not keeping his daughter from marrying a j00 and damn converting to jooism. bad move don. he’s a smart guy, he HAS to be joo wise, of course he can never SAY anything. maybe he’s playing a long con here. joo the joo. his daughter can divorce the joo, take some money from him, and then marry a nice white man like her brothers hahahahahahahaha.

did the daughter have KIDS with that joo yet? cuz that would suck.

also, were his daughters huge SLUTS? that would also suck.

jeronimus/mindweapon talks about how he schooled his daughter against becoming a slut by going over the song “violet” by that whore Hole, where courtney love whines about being a broken whore. so jeronimus showed this to his daughter as a cautionary tale: don’t do this. and apparently she followed through. I hope she did.

http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/49702/

i refuse to listen to the song, but here are the lyrics, well they are not good, they sound like a heroin whore wrote them hahahaha.  and i can’t get much out of them, other than once men get what they want out of women, the men stop liking you and dump you, leave you in the lurch, hahahaha.

sounds like how women have treated ME hahahahaha.

well not really. im not sure what they wanted out of me. nothing really, they just wanted me out of their lives. well they got that!

and i guess she wrote this song about a bad breakup with billy corgan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_(Hole_song)

she thought he was a “jerk” but who knows who dumped who. i certainly wouldnt blame him for dumping her!

i do blame him for fooking that crazy whore in the first place!

and kurt cobain should have known better too.

but they were all compromised cuz they were degenerates on heroin all the time.

see what drugs do? they get you mixed up with crazy whores like courtney love.

anyway even women dont like sluts. no woman wants to BE a slut….they just cant control themselves in the presence of a confident badboi.

this is exactly why strong fathers are needed.

but wont the daughter REBEL against the strict father by sneaking out and being a slut ANYWAY? she RESENTS being CONTROLLED? so the father has to double down and be even MORE strict?

maybe in some cases but hopefully not most. i dont think jeronimus was like that and his daughter turned out all right……or did she? is she actually a huge slut but he just doesnt know? almost like being CUCKED by your own DAUGHTER?

anyway its pretty clearly a crazy slut kind of telling how she became a crazy slut, so yeah i guess its a good lesson for a young girl.

but there are plenty of guys who DONT operate like this. but you just dont like them hahahaha cuz women are attracted only to power and confidence, so blindly, that they cant even differentiate GOOD confidence vs BAD confidence.

which makes SENSE, cuz it gets you pregnant QUICKLY. reproduces the species. if you picked a bad man, your baby DIES, and THAT teaches you a powerful lesson, and hopefully you pick a better man next.

and having a good father will keep you from going through that pain.

basically, if women thought long term, theyd never make babies.

i dunno. i just think women could have been DESIGNED better. Compared to women, MEN are designed WAY better. more efficient, more sensible, more reasonable. with women, it seems wasteful, like how can nature LET this waste and inefficiency continue? survival of the fittest! and this is NOT FIT! having babies with any random man!

its ingrish and it definitely gets the babies flowing. r-selection at its “finest.” most species work like this! not only is sperm cheap, but all of life itself is cheap! half of babies DIE! oh well who cares!

but a woman can only have 1 or 2 or 3 babies (most likely 1, hahaha) in 9 months! any other animal can have a damn LITTER of 20 babies in like 3 months! THATS TRUE r-selection!

i guess its best to build a strong bond with your daughter, so she grows up being a real daddy’s girl, so when she’s 18, she wouldnt THINK of doing anything that would BREAK HER DADDYS HEART.

so, company goes to recruiter so they dont get 90000 applications from the dregs of society they dont have time to sift through. pay recruiter whose job it is to sift thru them. say just bring me somebody good.

i talk to recruiter, they mention the clients name and position. they never get back to me. 2-3 months later, i see a posting from the client, for that position, getting hundreds of applications within 1 day. i just dont know what conclusions to draw from this.

flip or flop with tarek and christina. i would bang the shit of his whore wife christina. my god. such a fake blond california uptalking vocal fry skank. but a high class high maintenance skank hahaha. and she looks great despite having 2 children.

i know she’s not really blond but she seems white. HE…..only people ive ever known named tarek or anything like it have been ARABS, and he looks pretty white. what is HE????

why is she race mixing with this arab? but he looks pretty white and their children look white!

tarek el moussa? that sounds REALLY arab.

maybe HES a MIX. his arab father banged a white race traitor slut hahahaha.

well, you cant call em TRAITORS when they never had any LOYALTY in the first place.

http://thearabdailynews.com/2016/01/14/flip-or-flop-hgtv-one-of-my-favorite-shows/

ok his father was moroccan. an arab. they say his mother appears on the show but WHAT IS SHE. i would not be surprised if she was white. do arab christians race mix more than arab muslims? i heard someone say two thirds of arabs are christians. this surprised me. i would have expected no more than one third.

there are a lot more christian arabs than muslim arabs in my area, but they still act arab as fook: obnoxious, loud, rude, macho, hot headed, haggling, semitic, swarthy, overbearing, close talkers, no sense of personal space hahaha.

how many times do i have to tell you im a racist? DEAL WITH IT (sunglasses deal with it.gif)

looking for a hitler deal with it gif, cant find

linkedin can suck my dick too. shitty social network. god damn that pulse of shitty articles. girls who code. code muh dick bitches. phaggy men whining our coding camp was 98% boys, this is unacceptable, we NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CRISIS AND STOP OPPRESSING WIMMIN OUT OF STEM!!!!!

some phaggot cuck MAN saying this cringeworthy bullshit. yet he makes 70k a year as a senior whatever.

oh god now theres STEAM (not the omega virgin gayming thing) which is were Marxist Antiwhite Jooish “EDUCATORS” are trying to put “ARTS” into STEM.  put arts into stem. how degenerate can you get.

they poison everything they touch with this corruption and evil hahahaha

this is why you need to be confident and tough, because you need to be able to go out and DEAL with the real world, and not let it destroy you. be a happy warrior.

men and women are designed basically to get women pregnant as soon as possible (immed upon puberty at like age 14 or 15 or whatever) and as much as possible. that is why women act so stupid. just back in the good old days they had Responsible Adults to keep them in line. Physically Restrain them. NOW they are being REWARDED for being sluts.

men have always been “sluts” in that they will fook anything that moves. that has never changed. but women are quite like that too, in that they will be sluts to the top 10-20% of men. men, of course, will go MUCH lower, and accept the top 90% of women.

well, i kinda LIKE this “task view” and the option for adding more desktops that is available on win10.

task view is essentially an easily clickable type of alt+tab.

/r/theredpill. women are whores looking for both quick tingles as well as a meal ticket. you cant trust them. youre not SUPPOSED to trust them. YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEM.

do you need to dress them in beekeeper suits like the mudslimes?

NO, but you SHOULD dress them modestly. no skin tight clothing. no excessive skin showing. no short shorts. no tight pants. no yoga pants. no tiny little tops with milkerz hanging out. nothing too tight. no whorejeans. you can wear dadjeans. you can wear pants. just not super tight, and with a VERY HIGH WAIST. like there was huge controversy when women stopped wearing skirts and dresses. i dont care, just dont wear tight revealing pants.

skirts and dress of course should be longer and not revealing.

and i like the idea of married women covering their hair in public. wearing a Shawl or a Scarf or something.

no beekeeper suits necessary. just DRESS MODESTLY. getting sneaky about those rules will get you punished hahaha.

punishment can mainly be spanking, then head shaving or some kind of public shaming, then tattooing, and maybe exile for the worst.

well im just a spanking fetishist you say. well, maybe i am, but I am very confident that it would be a very effective form of behavior modification hahahaha.

note: i have no desire to be spanked or god forbid DOMINATED or cucked myself!

i do luv the idea of spanking a misbehaving woman though! i would have liked to spank the shit out of that woman, and then we would go on to have a luving monog tradrel.

i think i ALWAYS had a good idea of How Women Were, I was just MAD about it, i didnt want to ACCEPT it, and i wasn’t MAN enough to DEAL with it, and I WANTED to delude myself, but I could never fully fool myself.

thursday night. gonna try some nyquil tonight i think. want to try it EARLY. like 6 or 630 at the latest.

ok took the nyqui at 5:15 pm. a 75% dose which is standard for me.

its perfectly fine to go for a nice relaxing walk AFTER taking nyquil. i basically use it as a SUBSTITUTE for smokin MJ. no joke.  its just nowhere near as good.

kinda funny to apply for 15 jobs at one hospital in the course of a month and not get an interview. i have sent the MOST applications to this damn hospital. not counting all the ones that came BEFORE the spreadsheet. Mst have applied to like 30 jobs in the past cople months at this one place and its ALWAYS a rejection letter. they do send rejection emails. i get them like clockwork for all the applications i submit to this place.

for a damn place that gives you a NICOTENE test.

ivanka trump? is she the one married to the joo? was she a huge slut before marrying the joo? he doesnt seem the type to RAISE SLUTS. the don that is.

peter thiel is a phag? and a christian? wtf?

indeed job alerts. POTENTIALLY one of the most useful features of any job search site, but there seems to be bugs here: alerts not showing up after you create them, the list being 3 pages, then 4 pages, then 5 pages, you cant find the alerts youre sure you made, it just seems really sketchy for a Big Name compay like indeed.

so I think this is a real PAIN POINT for them (hahahahaha) that they simply dont want to spend the money to fix, and will HIDE behind a wall of bullshit self serve support articles and just be like clear cache cookies, try another browser, reinstall browser, restart computer, and see if its fixed. no advice on what to do if its not.

THIS is what passes for tech support. its bullshit and insulting. and its not the level 1 idiots fault. its probably not even level 2 or level 3s fault. its the fault of quality assurance for letting this shitty quality persist, and the management for not giving them the time and money to fix these Known Issues. of course the USERS dont know that they are even KNown or not. but they HAVE to be. but are they? if the company wont listen to them or wont escalate cases?

i was very frustrated when people had legitimate concerns that didnt get investigated. i mean the whole system needed a REVOLUTION.

everyones like change change change. everything rapidly changes every day. dont you realize that this shows you DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING???!?!?!?!?!?! IT LOOKS BAD TO EVERYONE.

just tell us what to say. something halfway decent. don’t make it our job to come up with a million excuses. if we’re supposed to come up with lame excuses, AT LEAST GIVE US THE EXCUSES!

really the truth is, most of the time, we cant afford to spend the time and money to do this. its just not serious enough. not urgent enough. you onyl get to see a doctor right now if youve been shot or stabbed and you are bleeding to death. if things are relatively STABLE, then they are good enough. and all customer service, despite phaggots like comcast saying shit like we care about our customers, its blatant lies, you lose even MORE respect for the company.

cuz customer service is nothing but a COST. i’m amazed they have customer service at ALL and arent like, welp you bought the product and gave us you money. ALL SALES FINAL. NO REFUNDS, NO EXCHANGES. NO SERVICE.

and that’s basically what a lot of customer service really IS!

JUST BE HONEST ABOUT IT!

but i know that will never happen.

women NEEEEEEEEEDDDD good fathers. a woman without a good father is a ruined woman. women are so irresponsible they will basically self destruct unless physically restrained.

so in other words, when you get involved with a woman without a good father, you are ASKING FOR TROUBLE. she might seem great for a while, but it is NOT going to end well.

all woman not having a good father might be THE biggest red flag there is, because it is the ROOT CAUSE of ALL of womens bad behavior.  sluttery, abortion, mudsharking, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible, immature.

a girl without a good father is a TICKING TIME BOMB.

just stay away from any woman who is not a raving fan of her own father. whos first words are not, he is AWESOME.

jobs that force you to ARGUE something that you dont believe in yourself. you’re agreeing with your opponent ie your customer, but you have to argue against them. how do you do this? do some real sneaky joo shit. how come they dont teach this in skool? joos run the skools hahaha. dont they WANT people to work and be tax livestock for them? doesnt that bring in more tax dollars than neets and dindus?

thats what i never understood. so you buy their votes. yeah not really. they are more likely to NOT VOTE AT ALL. and you are not making ANY MONEY off them.

if you really want to placate these people, give them MJ and pvssy. too many people like me and you have an OMEGA UPRISING!!!! hahaha jk. there will never be an omega or even beta uprising, but its a funny meme.

well, jobless thug ingras get plenty of MJ and pvssy. and the joos really do make those things readily available. by encouraging sluts to be slutty.

problem is, us omegas arent benefiting at all from all that cheap pvssy, we’re not seeing any of it, its just as hard for us to get as it was back when women were GOOD.

but it doesnt matter because we omegas will always be a tiny minority. there will never be an omega revolution. much better chance of a beta uprising. more betas out there than omegas. betas can be husbands and fathers. neets and virgins are definition omega.

omegas would LUV to be beta. shit. be nonvirgin, have wife and kid.

to an omega, beta is alpha!!!!!!!!

yep gotta luv the aphorisms. nyquil makes it difficutl to do coherent thoughts. just tired.

me posting on depression forums to my autist virgin early 20s buddy who cant get over his female friend from 5 years ago:
I understand your desire to contact the person. Thanks for sharing. Also good for not actually sending the message, I agree with others here that actually sending it would do more harm than good, and essentially be like pouring salt into the wound, torturing yourself. I have felt similarly though. I just wanted the other person to LISTEN to me, to hear my side of the story. I was willing to listen to them, how can they not be willing to listen to me, when I have so much I want to tell them. I was extremely angry and frustrated and confused at the unfairness of it all. Of course we all know life isn’t fair, but still it was extremely frustrating to be shut out by somebody when you have so much you want to tell them.

But ultimately, in the long run, I fully believe in the efficacy of no contact. It’s really been the only way I could ever “get over” anybody. Although it definitely been a struggle! I struggled SO many times with the temptation of, “If I just email her ONE more time, maybe she will understand, or at least listen to me, or respond to me, or help me get better closure.” When really my root desire was a hopeless hope that she would change her mind and decide to be with me.

Yeah, better communication on her part would have been nice, but I just know if she HAD responded, I would have found something else to obsess over, like “oh you still didn’t understand me completely. Let me write ANOTHER long email trying to explain this a little better.” Which would have turned into another pointless vicious circle.

For me it has finally been one full year of no contact and I can say I’ve made some progress, but I still think about her too much. I feel it will take at least two full years to “get over her” completely, but at least right now I can go through the motions of life and not feel completely destroyed and devasted, so I will take that as an improvement.

Five years is definitely rough. It’s hard to say what is “excessive” and what is normal here. Everybody takes different amounts of time to “get over someone.” I feel like I take longer, and that “normal” people get over people “too quickly.” I feel that when you have real feelings for someone and your heart is broken, it SHOULD take a long time to get over them. These feelings mean something, if not to them, then certainly to you! This is the power of love, in my opinion. It is not some trifling emotion that should be treated casually. It’s a big deal, in other words, and is always a long-term thing.

For me, I figured that around two years was my average. (for “getting over” someone.) So that has helped me manage my expectations and not get too worried when things seem to be moving “too slowly.”

But honestly I think five years is too long to suffer! So I definitely support you talking to a therapist if at all possible. I visit a therapist about once a month and it has been helpful putting things into perspective. Of course a huge part of depression is “cognitive distortions” where we essentially misinterpret things, put things through a very negative filter, and blow things out of proportion, and it’s definitely a struggle trying to fix that.

Also, I think that when you contacted her recently, that may have brought the pain right back to the forefront, and that contacting her again now would just be an even worse re-play of that situation, bringing even more pain back. It’s good to write the message, just don’t send it. I still do that sometimes. In the course of my regular journaling, I will feel the urge to say something to her, but knowing that I simply cannot, I address what I’m saying to her, and go on a rant. I am thankful for the sense of perspective that at least now I know that sending such a message to her would not do any good.

However, I should note that I did essentially tell her everything (or mostly everything) I wanted to tell her, in a series of long emails, that were probably regarded as creepy or pathetic or just too much, which I sent in a period of a month after our relationship ended. I am kind of glad I “got most of it out of my system” at that time…..but I still felt the urge to “scratch the itch” and get even MORE out of my system after that. Also, I have no proof that she even read those messages, let alone really understood them….and I would never get that confirmation for any future contact with her.

TL;DR: I’m glad I resisted the sometimes VERY STRONG temptation to contact her, because it would just re-awaken the pain. It really is like an addiction, as some people have mentioned, and it can be helpful to go “cold turkey.” However, it IS a very legitimate, valid, understandable desire to have the desire to be HEARD and listened to.

But that could also lead to the pitfall of, “OK, now you HEARD me, but did you really UNDERSTAND me,” and you can see how that would be a slippery slope of you being tempted to contact her again. It’s doubtful our unrequited love-recipients would ever truly be able to understand.

So yes I agree, no contact whatsoever is the best thing to do here. And this would include not looking for pictures or news about her on facebook/internet/anywhere. I deactivated my facebook and haven’t been on it in a year, and I don’t miss it. I deleted every bookmark related to her or her family, deleted every email I sent or received from her, essentially tried to delete her from my life. She had done the same thing to me, so I will just do likewise. I just wish I could have moved on from her as quickly as she moved on and forgot about me. But then I remember that love is a powerful force that shouldn’t be gotten over quickly or easily, and I respect the painful process.

We don’t do these things because they are easy, we do them because they are hard!!

I promised myself I would write a short post this time……

Good luck and good job on the no contact!!!! And keep doing what you can to find a good therapist. Even talking to them just once a month can be helpful. Also if you google “no contact” you will find a TON of information and stories on how it has helped people.

END POAST

i just did another post to my other forum buddie, a 31 year old autist virgin on a hopeless job search:
Thanks for the updates, even though it sounds like pretty bad news. 140 applicants for every job? That is interesting, I have asked myself that same question recently, and can’t find any conclusive answers. I do have an anecdote about an entry-level job in my area, paying $13 an hour, and had a well-written job description that painted the job as a good entry-level opportunity “for a college student”, and did not call for 5 years of specific experience, or was not a supervisor/manager job, and basically seemed like the perfect job for someone like me….and apparently many other people as well. The Indeed website shows how many people who have applied to a job (on some postings), and this one quickly received around 1000 applicants in under 48 hours of being posted. Of course, the stream of negative thoughts started immediately and automatically: “oh great, how am I going to beat out 999 other people.”

or, “It’s not good enough to be the top 1%. You have to be the top .01% to get anywhere in life and make $13 an hour.”

I just had my 10th interview of my current job search. All my interviews go “OK”. I don’t do BADLY, but I don’t WOW them with charismatic, electrifying confidence either. I am usually pretty nervous and end up talking too fast, and worry I sound like an “autist” or a “weirdo.” (No offense to people on the spectrum!!!! I am probably pretty close to it myself. I’m simply talking about how “normal” people perceive “awkward, anxious weirdos.”…..which is probably an unhealthy form of all-or-nothing thinking.)

Then I get angry, thinking people in 1980 didn’t go on 10-20 interviews to get one job, they didn’t send out 500-1000 applications, they “simply” finished high school and said “yep, I’m willing to work” and they got a job making average or nearly-average per capita income. (in the US, I believe this is around $28000, which I then translate to about $14 an hour. HOWEVER I am also deeply skeptical of job/employment/income statistics and how they are reported. But I can’t escape the need to measure myself against some sort of number!)

The best thing I did recently was I very reluctantly used savings to buy a modestly-priced suit, with matching jacket and pants, and had them altered to fit my weird-shaped body. Ultimately I was very happy with this decision, as it looks a LOT better than the mismatched, shabby jacket I was wearing previous. HOWEVER, I am VERY aware that this costly privilege is not available to all, but if you can scrape together ANY way to make it happen, I strongly suggest it. Especially if you have a weird-shaped body, short legs, etc, and can never find clothes that fit quite right. You will at least have a little confidence boost from dressing better for the interviews.

If you are at absolute rock bottom, you could probably get a staffing/recruiting agency to find you a job in some customer service or technical support call center. These places are revolving doors of lost, desperate souls. I was one of them once and I am trying not to become one again!

My current “Big Plan” is to try to get training in CNC Machining, which of course will involve agency, time, effort, and money. But in general I am a big fan of the skilled trades as opposed to just about anything else. This is coming from a college grad with a “useless degree” who has lost all faith in higher education (unless it’s in STEM.) Of course, higher education is all what you make of it, and I have long ago lost all faith in my own sense of power to make good things happen for myself! And I am bitter that “college/university SHOULDN’T be like that, because of the exorbitant financial cost! They really take their pound of flesh, isn’t that ENOUGH? But no, NOW you have to go broke AND show the initiative to be a real go-getter?”

anyway, that’s a bit of tangent. I just wanted to mention the idea of Skilled Trades Training in an attempt to get myself to do just this, and also solicit opinions of anyone out there who has hopefully good (but maybe bad!) stories to share about skilled trades training and how it worked / didn’t work in securing gainful employment.

But yeah it’s RIDICULOUS out there. I would just recommend setting small goals and taking baby steps. Even going to one interview is tough. I know you’ve mentioned possibly cancelling an interview because of anxiety / nervousness. I can definitely understand that! I just tell myself it’s NORMAL to be nervous for an interview. Then, of course, I criticize myself after the interview, like “jeez, they’ll never hire me, I was TOO NERVOUS and weird.” But the important part was that I went to the interview and survived. Recently I had an interview with a panel of five people and the whole thing lasted like 80 minutes. After a while, I stopped being nervous, and was like this is just absolutely RIDICULOUS. This is not an executive level job. These people all make a lot more money than this job is paying, and there’s five of them interviewing me for over an hour?!?!?!” and I almost had to laugh. I did not get the job, of course, hahahahahahaha.

There’s not really anything useful I can tell you. I am figuring I will have to survive through about 20 interviews before I get one job offer. So I have made it my goal to get those 20 interviews. It’s like the old saying of How do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.

Anyway thanks for the update, and please feel free to come in here and vent anytime!

END POAST

not like i have any authority to help these people! but i think it’s good to treat yourself as nicely and as forgivingly, as gently, as caringly, as you treat other people who are in similar pain as you are. SO TREAT YOURSELF THE SAME WAY!!!!! TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!!!!!

ok got 5 shitty job apps done. my daily average is now up to 3.32 hahaha so high. this includes days off, interview days, etc. you have to understand, it takes time to find these jobs. you have to sift through tons of jobs to find the 1% you are both qualified for and which you think you could do without K’ing yourself and which pay more than minimum wage. as you can see, i have unreasonable expectations. high entitlement, hahaha.

shooter(s) in munich germany. oh lawd i hope they are mudslim isis refugees. hard to tell from the vidya. i see a whitish arm on this one shooter. 3 shooters. well gotta be isis then.

david duke running for us senate….hey now! i am in full support of this. i would not trust duke with muh wife or daughter, but he has a great pro-white message and he is def the most well-known huhwhyte nationalist and him running for office is a pretty big deal.

i mean shit there is a huhwhyte nationalist political party but nobody cares about it. like any of the other 6000000 little parties in the US that never win anything EVER.

not so dear person:

come on. you always would talk shit about your horrible former friend, who became a crazy alcoholic. bipolar borderline alcoholic that would rather go on disability than work, and then continue drinking, and would cheat on her fiance who she pretends to luv, and he is a loser too, with his job at lame retail store. like you can get anywhere in life working at this lame retail mall store!

well what do you think of me now, who cant get a job anywhere, and now you are more successful than me, able to tough it out much better than me in our tough job and other tough jobs like it. now you are moving up while I am moving down. do you think i am a huge loser like him, like her? i remember when i used to be a good influence on you. you were right to cut those people out of your life. but at least you would respond to them when they would bitch at you when you refused to let them use you. couldnt you just respond to me? i wasnt trying to use or manipulate you! i just wanted to TALK about what was hapenign to our relationship. havent you ever had feelings for someone who didnt have feelings for you? how would you want them to dump you? would you want them to treat you like a monster for feelings you didnt choose to have?

sheeeeeeeit.

yeah i mean i would like to see DAVID DUKE FOR PRESIDENT.

I dont donate money to david duke because he’s a gambler hahahaha. But I have listened to hours of david duke and his message is on point. he is a very wise man. i even encouraged That Woman to listen to David Duke, he’s a good person to start with if you want to get an idea of the wild stuff I’m interested in.

I have donated money to TRS who technically had David Duke as a guest on fash the nation. didn’t they?

I GLADLY give MONEY to 1488 White Supremacists. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about this.

also today july 22, hit the Big 300 mark. the 300th job applied for of muh job search.

not exactly but close enough.

but i will be reduced to working at mall retail and being cheated on by a crazy alcoholic bitch hahaha.

so why was that woman friends with this girl to begin with?

because she’s passive and lonely and will take whatever friends she can get.

but she can still recognize bad influences and get them out of her life, rather than be dragged down by them.

and i hate being one of those types of peopel.

but i WASNT.

but that’s how she treated me.

but I WASNT. she just treated me that way because she didnt know what else to do. just ran away. not an uncommon response. i have run away from responsibility too. MANY times.

but yeah its a mindfook and a soulfook. i mean i USED to be a bad influence but i dont think i am any more. plus this girl just sounded obnoxious. like a total USER, like do this thing for me or were not friends anymore btich.

i would never do that to somebody. all i wanted was to TALK.

well, i wanted her to BE WITH me. but i didnt expect it. i didnt feel entitled to it. I knew it wasnt gonna happen.

breaking up is hard to do hahahaha. what are the best practices. if i ever get in another rel again, and i cant imagine ever having that connection with a person again, and say she wants to dump me, i will say BABY we are going to the THERAPIST so you can dump me the RIGHT way.

people need OUTSIDE HELP in dumping people the RIGHT way.

do they REALLY though? well, SHE sure did! a good father would have been good enough to teach her.

don’t blame her, blame her FATHER. so she wasnt a crazy slut like most fatherless girls. BELIEVE ME, her fatherlessness was something i took notice of IMMEDIATELY upon meeting her. yep, shes got no real father, watch OUT for this gurl, she’s PROBABLY a crazy slut. then i found out she really WASNT.

but her fatherlessness found different, more unexpected ways to express itself. namely, unable to deal with conflict and responsibility.

gunman shot himself. kind of a white thing to do. oh god i hope its not a right wing nationalist white guy. some racist who hates all the migrants.  only solution is to bring in more migrants! BAD germany!

neo nazi BOOTS?? wtf are you talking about?

sheeeeeit i would like to get some neo nazi boots, because my enemies already consider me a nazi, and i would probably vote for hitler anyway hahahaha. the older i get, the more i like hitler hahaha. uncle adi.

germany is FINISHED. its SAD. I dont want germany to be finished. to fall to the damn isis caliphate hehehehe.

well a country like poland will be much stronger I think. poland is not sick and dying like germany is. although they are less “wealthy”. and people in the UK HATE poles because poles are like mexicans to them, flooding into the UK and taking jobs and not speaking english. and of course i dont like seeing whites turned against whites like this. well the brexit might help with this. i mean poles can always go to france and germany. im sure they do. ideally i would make poland great again. i LUV poland, always will.

they are gonna be like, look at these crazy gun toting white racists hating other races. welcome mohammed, fook my wife and daughter please, white man go bye bye now, we’re so evil, we dont deserve to live, the world is better without whites, i cant wait until we are all one big brown mud race.

is there some way you can PAY to find the best job postings? i dont mean the ladders.com. i mean just good solid entry level 13 dollar an hour jobs that arent total bullshit and lies. that go to real actual decent average entry level jobs. there is a theory that many job postings arent even REAL, its just a SHOW to make the economy LOOK better than it actually is. smoke and mirrors. keep the unemployed from revolting.

but they’re more likely to just stop job searching and K themselves than revolt!

leave the labor force. then they dont get counted at all. which is stupid. you SHOULD count the discouraged workers/job seekers cuz it measures a very important thing.

you literally do not COUNT as unemployed if you STOP SEARCHING for a job. become a NEET.

GAS THE NORMIES NEET UPRISING NOW

hahahaha

im no prize pig myself, but these damn women act like the worst bratty CHILDREN. assuming children could fook guys and be sluts.

i’m pretty BAD, but I’m still better than these women!

They LIKE the “Drama”! where drama just means them being horrible slutty brats and breaking hearts and lying and cheating! they LIKE doing this SINFUL business! They LOVE SIN!

Like da joos, because they love sin, they are satan’s representatives on earth hahaha.

but hey, i used to love sin and degeneracy too. until i was like 26 years old.  therefore, i can’t expect any woman under 26 to be any different.

i cant believe it took me so long to wake up. but at least i did. some people are still asleep during their 30s. at least i was a few solid years before 30.

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

not so dear women: you’re NOT ALLOWED to treat sex as casually as you think All Men treat it, because you can get pregnant from sex! MEN CANT!!!!!! It doesnt matter that you can just get an abortion! The issue is what your BODY is CAPABLE of! Your body CAN get pregnant! No man in the history of the world has EVER gotten pregnant!

MEN CAN”T GET PREGNANT! ONLY WOMEN CAN GET PREGNANT!

therefore, women HAVE to be more CAREFUL about sex!

YOURE WELCOME.

are all women so stupish or whorish that I NEED to mansplain such basic stuff to them.

GOD I HOPE NOT. I hope this is just a projection of my anger at HER, angry that shes out fooking guys rather than responding to me. you can fook 60000000 black guys, just respond to me . just dont treat me like a piece of GARBAGE when we were REAL friends.

This is what One Year of Getting Over It looks like hahahahaha. One Year of no contact.

it takes two years i reckon.

like a damn jail sentence. just take it one day at a time and in two years i will be finally free at last, free at last. and thankfully, unlike prison, i dont get assraped every day.

o shit why havent i been looking at CRAIGSLIST for jobs?

hey there is some promising stuff here.

but it is just weird how they DONT EVEN MENTION THE NAME OF THE COMPANY. that always bugs more. that bugs me MORE than not listing a salary range. WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY THE NAME OF YOUR COMPANY? it just seems shady as fook. they do tell you the name of the city though. oh thank you master.

sheeeeeit. 7 applications today.

you think i dont realize that adult grown up mature rels are a ALOT OF WORK? takes a lot of EFFORT to get through the good times and bad? of COURSE i realize this!

and it sucks when someone wants to give up on you, and you want to FIGHT to keep them. you wish they were willing to fight for the rel too. but they just dont luv you any more. if they ever did hahahahaha.

not only do you need to be willing to fight……but BOTH of you need to be willing to fight! DAMN!

found some guy selling MJ on craigslist.  probably not a good idea hahaha.

found a tranny skank in my town saying he/she wanted a random hot guy to piss down their throat. i can suk u off afterwards too if you want. and then showing photos of the tranny skank dressed in womens underwear and bending over. jeeeezum crow. WHAT A WORLD.

going on craigslist looking for STRANGE MEN to piss in your mouth FOR FREE, because that gets you off so much, because youre THAT fooked up.

do these people get any responses? I would like to do a documentary on these people. the desperate loser men who say HELL YEAH SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! and then document both ends of the degenerate, desperate, disgusting transaction.

maybe that woman does stuff like this hahahahaha because she has no father.

noooo there are barely any “w4m” casual encounters…..AS IT SHOULD BE.

my FAITH IN HUMANITY was AFFIRMED to see the tiny number of w4m listings. amazing that WOMEN on CRAIGSLIST could boost my confidence in human decency!

 

 

MAN CANNOT REMAKE HIMSELF WITHOUT SUFFERING, FOR HE IS BOTH THE MARBLE AND THE SCULPTOR

july 19

sheeeeit.

big interview tomorrow. i just got a rejection email from the county for a 26k a year clerk job, and tomorrow i am interviewing with the county for a 30k job. hmm. well i will wear new suit, i’ve also gotten a haircut since muh last interview, so i will LOOK quite a bit better at least.

gotta be prepared for the question Why Do You Want to work HERE. this is where you slip in some marketing mission statement bullshit to show that you are PASSIONATE about the organizations MISSION. Shit you can even say “I am passionate about this organizations Mission.” that’s more than That Woman would say and she would still get the job because shes a cute smiling young woman and all the men want to fook her.

heh. enough already with that woman. its been A YEAR. OFFICIALLY. I have passed the ONE YEAR mark.

and it just proves to me that something of this magnitude will take TWO years to fully get over.

heh. you might THINK sperm is cheap, but to that opportunistic slut in the bar, its worth 216 thousand dollars. think about THAT.

really, the expensive EGG is worth NOTHING without sperm. but getting sperm is so damn EASY and cheap, that its a moot point.

got muh shit printed out for tommorrow.

shit yesterday i was POKING AROUND on peoples google PLUS pages. like people from the job. It was as if i was TRYING to find her. Somewhat Surprisingly, I didnt find her, even though I looked at all the connections of people she was friendly with.

I wondered if she had blocked my GMAIL account so I couldn’t even SEE her on GPlus!

i mean, NOBODY is Gplus SAVVY but i still saw a lot of people from the job there. they didn’t actually USE the profiles, because NOBODY does, but they were still CONNECTED to familiar people.

btu not her. which made me wonder if she blocked me on GOOGLE! can you do that? would you just not see the person on google plus ever at all? I don’t have a real gplus account, but I can still see tons of other people that we knew.

this is while searching for the personal email address of my former manager hahahaha so I could use it in references hahahaha. but i am too scared to contact HIM directly. i will take him off when he contacts ME and says please stop this hahahahaha.

http://www.refinery29.com/2016/07/116520/white-boy-privilege-poem-royce-mann

barrrrfffff

8th grade (((white))) boy does filthy slam poem on white privilege and he’s not even white, he’s a joo hahaha. sneaky, sneaky joo.

normies and even WOMEN are getting tired of this SJW stuff. you dont even have to be anti white to gain the approval of women. not that you ever did.  but it might be easier for a pro-white white man to find a white woman now who wont leave him for being pro-white hahahaha.

maybe That Woman can go be with some more masculine, winner white man and they can both be pro-white racists together, she could have been my white waifu too, but i was too weak hahahaha.

ok interview tomorrow. got my shit printed. i also got in muh 3 applications today. 3.21 per day for the past 19 days hahaha. 12.2 minutes per application. 61 apps in past 19 days. I can do better than that…..cant I?

like i said, as time goes on, its IMPOSSIBLE to bring this average up. move the needle. the needle moves insanely slowly.

i would say bribe your friends to act as your professional references. they can literally pretend they were your manager at walmart and say you were the best worker, even though you and you manager hated each other and he fired you because you called in sick with the flu hahaha when you were shitting and puking all over the place.

anyway your real manager wouldnt possibly give you a good reference, so just have your friend or parent lie and SAY they were your manager!

do people calling references check and make sure the people are actually who they are SUPPOSED to be? and couldn’t you just make up a fictitious name anyway?

well, then it’s hard to……list a email with a different name?

or maybe just use their real name, and just say they were your manager when they never were?

cuz if they use a fake name, a person calling asking for the fake name might confuse them and they temporarily forget they are supposed to be this person?

dont tons of people do fake references like this? what do THEY do?

probably use the person’s real name and then like and say they were the manager.

i mean you should write out a story and give to your friend.

what if you dont have any friends? then youre really screwed hahahha.

oh george feels. why doesnt he go to a shrink?

why doesnt he get meds?

WHY DOESNT HE SM0KE MJ??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

all these are very important questions. he lives in colorado with legal MJ. In other words I would be smokin mj all day. why doesnt he? people in the comments mention it. i have not heard him mention it.  but he should try it. i know i would be.

also he doesnt seem to understand that his father is just an older version of him, so dont complain about your father being lazy or a failure. pot meet kettle hahaha.

cuz his father is a fat guy who was unemployed for 3 years after constantly getting laid off before that. trouble keeping a job hahaha. working for shitty companies that close and lay everyone off haha.

well the father finally got a job, probably in a damn call center hahahaha. would like to hear more about that.

the parents also come from ukraine. hope they arent jooish. lotta joos in ukraine. well then george and his fam would probably be more successful. working angles through the local JCC and such.

but yeah george should be more thankful he has an easy job. if he got laid off he would see how hard it is to find a new job. also george wouldnt last a day in an inbound call center hehehehe.

how many interviews would GEORGE have to go on to find a job?

10 or more?

i am having the big 10th interview tomorrow.

george needs to learn the pain of interviewing and not getting the job. like what his father went through for the past 3 years!

if george is 31, i am guessing his father is maybe 51 to 56? those immigrants have children when they are younger.

i generally like george. if i ever did my neetcast, I would do talks with him. skype. hangouts. i would also try to bring him into the alt right. I would also encourage him to try MJ hahahaha. even tho its degen. if i were in colorado i would try to hang out with him.

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1NHXL_enUS687US687&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=medical%20marijuana%20for%20depression%20forum

http://www.psychforums.com/depression/topic41651.html

intradasting stuff from the clinpsych robert

although OP is much more schizo than depressive, so kinda irrelevant, but robert was very anti-psych meds like ssris. and was not talking like a tinfoil hat alex jones type idiot like That Woman who thought ssris were how the bilderberg group was controlling our minds maaaaan now lets smoke some more weeeeeed maaannnn.

hey i would like to not take them, but i also dont want to chance it. also it doesnt feel like they really do much anyway. but last time i quit them was 1 year ago and then a whole bunch of shit happened.  i flipped out and quit muh job and couldnt handle that woman. but i dont think that really had to do with the quitting ssris tbh. i think it would have been rough even if i were loaded up with ssris.  maybe i was slightly more emotional or on edge…..but i was emotional and on edge ANYWAY.

anyway if i ever nailed down a steady job that wasnt constantly driving me to a nervous breakdown, i would think about quitting the ssris. maybe.

honestly. im not sure about a lot in life, but i am FAIRLY sure that it wasnt my quitting ssri’s that was the straw that broke the camels back.

the straw that broke the camels back was her dumping me and refusing to talk to me ever again hahaha.

wow that was INSANE. glad to be over the worst of that. glad i am slowly getting better. right at that very time, shit was HORRIBLE. i mean i could barely move for a month.

now i can do 21 applications a week hahaha and go to interviews, and get suits, get them tailored, lose 25 pounds, etc.

kinda surprised there hasnt been black violence outside of the repub convention!!! how many days does this last? 3? 5?

july 18 thru 21. so 4 days. 2 days down. its already half over.

https://undividedattentionparenting.com/

MAH BOY is doing a new parenting blog and also says he wants theoretically to help neets, although the ideal is to not have neets to begin with. of COURSHE. easier to raise a nonneet than to fix a neet hahahaha. oh great.

well i was never a TV Baby though. And muh fam was pretty involved. I was just kinda a bad seed. Sure I watched a LITTLE TV and played SOME vidya, but muh fam was smart enough to know that too much of that stuff was bad, so they didnt let me watch TOO much TV.

now, this blogger is An Anti-TV Extremist hahahahaha and now i kinda agree with him because i am a neet and really there’s no BENEFIT to TV. BUT…..I dont think I became a neet because I watched too much TV or played too much vidya. I became a neet because I couldnt deal with life in general hahahaha. couldnt handle jobs and women. I had no CONFIDENCE ever. Unlike his child, I was not ready to “kick the worlds ass.”

so yeah i was always low in confidence, ever since grade school, and it wasn’t the tv and vidya that caused it I dont think. Although I did like playing vidya as an escape, as something fun.

maybe it was because i was a “late bloomer” and Short so I was a failure with women and knew it ever since the beginning of puberty, and i started being interested in gurls at the same time too. but I always felt inferior, because I was a short Unpopular Weirdo and not a Popular Normie Chad, (we called them “preppies” or “jocks”  and also the “gangster” boys got the trashier sluts), so i wasn’t what gurls wanted, so I always kinda resented women for not liking Quiet Shy Guys like me!

So I saw how women really are almost immediately!!! but I just didnt want to accept it. well 20 years later, i accept it hahahahaha.

july 20

weeiirrdddd

there are large assembly manufacturing, assembly line plants for YUGE companies in my immediate area. a generation ago, people made a decent upper working class living working on the LINE. there are still thousands of people who work on the LINE and bitch and moan about two tier wage systems and why we only make 14 dollars and hour etc.

but I have NEVER been able to find these job postings!

all the manufacturing/assembly/operations jobs on the cmpany page are for Leaders and Supervisors of assembly areas.

all chiefs, no indians.

there are several team lead openings and NEVER any team member openings.

  1. WHY ARENT THESE INTERNAL ONLY postings where a team member is then promoted from within, to supervisor?
  2. where the FOOK are the Team Member postings? do you have to go thru an Agency? maybe the UNION HALL?

where do all these 90 IQ white trash tattooed alcoholics chugging beer on their lunch break, get THEIR jobs????

(yes thats classist hahaha but my point still stands.)

had interview with law enforcement agency. apparently there will be angry phone calls about bail for the jail. maintaining prisoner records. I looked good at least with muh new suit, tie, 30 dollar dress shoes. sent thank you email. 3 person interview panel: HR, one uniformed LE officer, and another woman who prob works in the actual dept.

so i can take phone calls for screaming ingras all day bitching about their boy dindu nuffin, whys he sitting in jail hahahahaha.

i dunno they are interviewing a lot of peopelfor the job.

i was ok but AGAIN i was nervous, stumbling over words like an autist virgin. but at least I LOOKED better than I usually do. the haircut and suit make a big diff there.

this place is close to that woman’s house but thank god, you cannot see her house or even her street on the drive over. its possible I could see her driving or maybe stopped at this one partic traffic light near her house.

this is assuming she didnt move in with a new boifran or something. but she always stayed at home with her family even though she was way old enough to Move Out and be a Whore, but she didn’t. she preferred to stay at home with family. I liked this about her.

new episode of fatherland and FINALLY an appeareance from muh boy jeronimus (see parenting blog above.) this guy, i have been reading him years before TRS, he was influential to me. and I want everyone on TRS to RESPECT him. do they even know who this guy IS??? he’s been a real white warrior since they were in short pants!!!! so i frown when I see people arguing with him on the forum, giving him shit, or why he is not welcomed with open arms by the Admins of TRS. like he should regularly be on the daily shoah, not struggling to get an appearance on the fatherland.

anyway i hope the fatherland appreciates him, they SHOULD. I sure do. I have been reading him since…2012? 2011? back when he had his old blog, before he and his family was DOXXED by joos.  he even gave me his phone number and told me to CALL HIM and WE’LL TALK. I was too scared to, but I thought it was a great sign of good faith and shows what a Real Guy he is. He talks to people on the phone regularly about Movement stuff and I hope he meets people in real life too.

sheeeit. i tried to get out of them how much phone time it was. sounded like more phone time than the listing said. the listing sounded really good. the actual job didnt sound so good. possibly nonstop calls from angry ingras complaining about dey chilluns dindu nuffin, yall raciss mufugga!

well its true that I am racist, hahahahaha.

anyway yeah the suit looked great, but not sure if it translated to extremely improved confidence for me. although i was certain of the fact i looked better. last interview 13 days ago, i had the shitty “suit”, my hair was long and messy, etc, so i def LOOKED better now, although I wanted THAT job a lot more than this one hahahaha.

jeez. local news story of good looking white 27 year old woman who was beaten up and RUN OVER by her boifran, who had shitloads of damage, was taken off life support, died, has 2 young children, looking at gofundme page. there was one generous donation by a guy with a NatSoc related user name, and one comment like “id donate 100$ if i knew she wasnt a COAL BURNER”. and then plenty of remarks on the newspaper story about is she a mudshark, is she a coal burner? and of course it was one of the first questions i asked too. young white single mother, still good looking, has a domestic violent Boifran, lives in a White Trash city with a lot of blacks. you HAVE to ask, was she burning the coal? pretty good chance.

i mean a 27 year old woman with a 9 year old child?

at least her children look white from the tiny pictures on the gofundme page.

shit its possible THAT WOMAN knows this gurl hahaha.

i dunno i just dont like mudsharks, and i hate that That Woman Mudsharked once, and if she mudsharks again thats bad, and if she doesnt mudshark again that also sucks because it means she became racially aware, which is awesome,  so a racially aware qt tradwife rejected me hahahaha.

i was NEVER really confident! as soon as the gurls started developing, I was very interested. they werent interested in me, but were interested in the taller, more athletic, popular boys, didnt like Short Manlet DORKS like me. So for all of Adolescent I felt like a Dork who wasnt good enough to pull a woman. never really felt confident.

so why didnt i try to develop muh confidence in other ways? like sports and working. well i did work some. but i literally hated sports. cuz i was not a good team player, and i found it intimidating and confusing and felt like a beta male. a little faggy sissy who was bad at sports, so i just AVOIDED sports.

but shit i could have still LIFTED, or done like bmxing or some shit. but nooooo. or shooting. hunting. shooting and hunting would have been a good masculine hobby that wasnt sportsball.

but yeah. ever since Puberty, and even BEFORE, I was NEVER very confident at all. always timid and meek and unsure and shy and never outwardly confident.

I think it all began when I went to skool. Cuz I was very young for my grade and also very short and petite hahahaha. so if i had been homeschooled, I would have turned out allright hahahaha. did not do well with the competition of skool. and work. and life.

was NEVER confident with women. EVER. except maybe slightly when i had just spent some quality time with a woman. whic is kinda miraculous that i EVER did! its more than george feels or some other virgin ever got!

when I was….15 or maybe even 14 was the first time i made out with a grill, and that was a totally normie experience, that i reacted to very autistically and beta. meaning, SHE was more interested than I was, so I “settled” just to try out the experience, but I was ultimately very ambivalent about it, and sometimes got downright ASSMAD about it. like WHY did I ever even talk to that gurl? that SUCKED. that was a stupid first make out. I’m gonna WAIT until I find someone I really like, or really connect with. this gurl is annoying and not super hawt and Im just not into her, she’s more into me than I am into her.

when really this is pretty NORMAL. WOMEN select their MEN. and they use their feminine wiles to try to persuade a perhaps on the fence man to stay with them. having a CHILD with him, thats a good way to trap a man! unless he is a total deadbeat or ingra…..which many men are!

so instead of wanting some disney egalitarian bullshit, i should have just been HAPPY WITH WHAT I COULD GET and not get so autistically angry about it.

maybe I would have come to like the gurl more if I had spent more time with her! but I BARELY even hung out with her because we didnt live in the same town! we were “pen pals” for a little while, but I wasn’t really into that. i mean she lived 40 miles away, i didnt have a car, i couldnt drive hahaha, i didnt even really want to talk to her on the phone, etc.

now, i didnt think I would go another 6 years without making out with a grill, nor did I realize how fooked up I would become over those 6 years! alcohol, drugs, irresponsbilitiy, and still having lowass confidence!

but yeah its that low confidence that was always the common denominator.

and then in social groups, I was always the beta male for sure. see boys crave hierarchy and structure!

BUT it wasnt really fun being the beta male either!!!!!

was it because the alpha male of my group wasn’t the best leader?

I dont really hold it against him though! he was a good guy at heart. very good guy. I can’t blame HIM for ruining me, hahahaha. i mean that is really reaching. that’s basically implanting a damn false memory.

i mean I had other friends were there was more “democracy” or less of a beta male thing, and it still didn’t really improve my confidence! I still drank alcohol at too young an age, smonked MJ.

like teens in the US think getting WASTED and TRASHED is COOL, so they BINGE drink and get FOOKED UP. getting FOOKED UP is the goal. kids in yurop sneer and think why would you want to get FOOKED UP? Better to just have a few drinks, get loose, but no need to get FOOKED UP YEAAAAAA PARTAY!!!!!

basically it all stems back to me starting like preschool or kindergarten or 1st grade. yep. it was 1st grade. first year of serious school. i was aware of me being weird and different and somehow lesser. a beta. and i didnt like it. i felt shy and timid and meek. very self conscious. socially anxious hahaha.

YEP if I had just been homeschooled, none of that would have happened.

or, at least, homeschooled till the age of 10 or so hahahahaha.

but when I was 5-10, nobody homeschooled. it just wasnt done. I didnt even know homeschooling existed until I was out of high school.

also i think i was just neurotic. i was born prematurely, so i wonder if that contributed to me being short, unmasculine (less time to be drenched in testosterone? but how would the mother’s womb create testosterone anyway?), neurotic.

there was a period during my puberty where I thought I was a homer sexual, so that made me all defensive of homo rights and all that. I identified with them as trasngressives, underdogs, fighting the mean uptight normies.

it probably came from not being exposed to many real life gurls (single secs high school, hahahaha) where there were a bunch of sissy girly boys who roman soldiers would have had a grand old time with, and then went on to marry women and have families. no problem.

at the time i was resentful of not having any gurls in muh high school, oh its gonna turn me gay, but majority of everyone else turned out fine, got gfs and wives etc.  you could still meet gurls in other schools provided you had friends who went to other schools. well, i did….but I guess we were ALL kinda bad with gurls. well my one friend was ok with gurls but I never asked him to introduce me to gurls. plus he went with these MJ smoking rocker grrls and I was intimidated by that, I wanted a “nice girl”. and then gradually I started smoking MJ and drinking myself…..although I did not hang out with a bunch of Party People. shit if i did, i probably would have gotten Laid with some drunk slut. and it would have been much like when i made out with that one gurl. i woulda said, this SUCKS, even though its not SUPPOSED to suck.

i guess i sorta felt confident around women when i had female friends, and i could talk and hang out with women like they were human beings, and not feel judged and undesirable etc. even though i had already been judged as being undesirable from a Mating standpoint! but really at that time i didnt CARE. usually whenever I made female friends, i was usually hung up on some previous woman anyway.

i mean shit same thing with that woman. i didnt care about luving her because i was still in luv with woman2012! until one i got over woman2012 and fell in luv wth woman2015!

sooo it should be 2018 when i fall in luv with another woman?

well, 2017, 2018 is when the shit will go down in flames hahaha.

ok time to powerwalk in “brilliant sun” and try to get tan hahahaha.

so yeah. confidence. LEADERSHIP. assertiveness. I never had these things. I am trying to remember times i had a relative maximum of them. my relative maximum, which were few and far between, was probably about NORMAL for a Normie.

shit. it was probably fall 2013. almost 3 years ago. i was doing good at my job, i was getting along very well with That Woman, we were getting closer as a matter of fact. we talked alot about job searching. she said her boifran might be able to get us into his job, which pays pretty well.

this was before i was in luv with her. i was encouraging her to Work On Things with the boifran, to put in effort. he was stubborn but I wanted her to try. and she did. I wish she had stubbornly tried with ME.

anyway i said ok shit i’ve been here too long, might as well try it out.

and then it all happened very quickly. we both were hired and started working there. we both Aced the Interview and were hired hahaha. that should have told me something. they hired like 30, 40 people at once. they hired me after a 10 minute interview with me and just one manager and no one else.

i should have been more diligent in talking to that woman: let me talk to your boifran about what this job is REALLY like. what is this job. because later i was like SHIT I wish i had a better idea of what this job was before i took it! waawawawawaw i cant handle this i want to go back to our old job!

shit i probably could have. but i Toughed it out til layoff, was invited back after layoff, then i REALLY toughed it out for a full 10 months, that was where I REALLY grew and got better and started burning out again hahaha. then got invited back and then lasted like 2 more weeks before shit EXPLODED.

i guess in like november 2014 i had another relative maximum of confidence. i had gained confidence at the job, was earning a reputation as Smart Guy, and my “crush” on the woman was new and exciting and hadn’t turned to POISON yet, and I was certain we would hang out soon and I would tell her.

when else did i have confidence? uhhh maybe july august 2004. i had gotten a bit of a makeover, i had met a qt gurl and banged her and lost muh virginity, i was ready to start College again after a failure and a hiatus there.

well of course the thing with the girl failed soon, but miraculously i was able to do well in school that year. if i had done that well every year maybe i could/would have gone to grad skool. but i was focused on just finishing school, i had NO IDEA about what to do AFTERWARD.

SHIT , i could have made something of myself if I had Lived At the Career Center for a few months after graduation, until I finally got a proper job somewhere, anywhere.

But I fooked that up, and said well MAYBE i should go to grad school, so I will be a bullshit research assistant with these profs and see what happens there.

and because those were not real jobs cracking the whip on me and demanding results on a timeline, I shirked it and spend too much time drinking and losing my mind over gurls. 3 gurls, 1 summer hahahaha. all of them rejecting me and causing madness hahahaha.  that distracted me from the shit i SHOULD have been doing with the profs.

oh sure blame everybody but my self!!!!!

well its true these things were distracting.

well i should have been seeing a shrink to teach me how to deal with these women and also to help me not drink! i was drinking to cope and that was not good.

so I FLOUNDERED with my research work, did not get a REAL job, and the next year january came Back Home like a Failure. I didn’t think that would last for the next TEN years hahaha.

but I continued drinking, increased drinking even; and had a HELL of a time finding gainful employment, indeed, NEVER having gainful employment until about EIGHT years later. and now i am out of that hahaha. distracting myself for a few years with drinking; then for a couple years with rinky dink jobs and getting 70 more credits of College; then got gainfully employed; then melted down and lost muh waifu hahahaha and muh laifu as well.

well at least now i have lost 26 pounds, have a nice new suit that fits and looks good and makes me look like a man worthy of a 28k entry level job, hahahaha. and not like a total omega virgin. although you will glean that from my nervous rambling during interviews and general lack of confidence.

i mean i lost 16% of muh body weight hahaha pretty good uh. had 10 interviews, getting slowly better there. got not 1 but 2 new suits, check muh white privilege hahaha and and least LOOK sorta normie, apart from being short.

i mean i had WANTED to get an actual proper suit for YEARS. at least 3 years, if not 10 hahahaha, i was just too lazy to actually go out and do it. make the effort, talk to the right people, talk to a damn tailor, spend the money from muh savings, etc.

what if i had 30k in student loans like most normies???!?!?!?!?!? When the going gets tuff, normies get going, but I just completely fall apart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, i would prob live with muh fam and take any shit job at the post office and then pay off those student loans as quickly as possible, maybe with the help of muh fam.

well i ended up living with muh fam anyway because i never made enough money to live elsewhere. it just wasnt worth it.

i mean i could prob afford to live in the ABSOLUTE GHETTO……but would you let your children live in the GHETTO??? and by ghetto i mean black crime ridden slum, hahahahaha.

Yeah parents should let their children make mistakes and learn from them…….but i ALSO think parents shouldnt let children make BIGASS mistakes that will ruin their life, like taking on 100k of debt, or letting them live in a ghetto. I wouldnt let MY children do it, so i can understand why MY fam didnt allow ME to do it.

alternatively, i guess you could raise your children to be aggressive fooking WARRIORS who you have no doubt could survive in the ghetto. make sure your kid is TOUGH AS NAILS and has a CPL license and essentially has good tactical training to deal with emergencies. but i STILL wouldnt want them living in the ghetto!

i would rather have them learn a useful skill, live at home, and the trade would be so useful that they could AFFORD to live somewhere non-ghetto at age 21 or so!

in case i wasn’t clear, by ghetto i mean nonwhite slum filled with nonwhite criminals. did i mention that I am a pro-white racist and probably an official white nationalist????

also communities with a alot of white trash are not much better. there are nearby communites on the “edge” of the black ghetto, where the black ghetto starts mixing with the white trash, and the whole things horrible. whites with neck tattoos, drugs and drinking, they talk and live like ingras, the women are fatherless mudshark single moms, they are basically white ingras and while they might be less violent……i still wouldnt want MY kids living around that, even to teach them a lesson.

but again. CONFIDENCE. i mean i was a tuff kid to raise. muh fam didnt know what to do with a weirdo like me, so they were just happy i got good grades in high school and got into a good college. after that, who knows, hopefully i can figure it out. well i sure didnt hahahaha. i peaked in high school.

i was protected from most of the bad shit but i STILL found ways to sneak alcohol, sneak MJ, be a bad boy like that.

so maybe i was doomed. the sin of pride.

i had the sin of pride but i was never confident!!!!! how does that work??!?!?!?!?!?!

yu want to get a HUGO BOSS suit because thats what the NSDAP wore hahahaha.

eh might as well upgrade to windows 10 already before it ends. all my important shit is in The Cloud anyway hahahaha. like thats secure.

basically i would focus on the issue of confidence with muh children.

and thats the thing! my fam tried to build muh confidence! they were concerned about muh confidence and made efforts to boost it! so i appreciate that and i am grateful to them! THEY TRIED! hehehehehe.

but i always quit shit. quit softball team, quit soccer, quit boy scouts,  i didnt like any of that shit. should they have forced me to not quit? certainly i became kinda a QUITTER in my adult life too. quitting skool, quitting jobs, quitting life, hahaha.

i’ve ALWAYS been neurotic and jooish. i remember writing stuff like this in 1995 for gods sakes. over TWENTY years ago. I first began really writing. and MUCH of my writing was on my own ISSUES. and it didnt really RESOLVE the issues! it was just COMPLAINING about them! why dont women like shy sensitive unmasculine men? why do normies suk so much? where are all the NICE gurls? why does the church hate gays and onanists? if i had a nice gf i would totally have premarital secs with her and said fook you to the oppressive church! why do all these gurls smoke weed and drink! well now that im trying MJ and alcohol, i can see how its fun, but i STILL dont like to go out and party with all these boisterous party people! cant we just have a small quiet party? why dont we know any gurls?

teen angst grrrr. well just get thru high school, then get through college, then you can get a good job and everything will all work out in the end. i wish i didnt have to go to college, cuz skool SUCKS, but in order to get a good job nowardays you HAVE to go to college, and i get good grades in high school, i am gonna go to college, FINE, play their game, get the piece of paper, get a decent job, then life can begin. i can make some money, slowly move up, maybe meet some nice gurls then.

DIDNT HAPPEN LIKE THAT hahahaha.

I had SOME of it right….like yeah college IS very important. but it can ALSO be VERY USELESS depending on how you do it. and I did it ALL WRONG. that was a CRUCIAL mistake, one of my biggest mistakes.

i have been in this memory lane shit the past 2 days, really reflecting on muh whole life, muh childhood, how i ended up THIS WAY.  the type of thing you could and maybe should talk about with your waifu. but then she would LEAVE you for showing weakness and vulnerability!

i tried to build confidence with music, but it was frustrating as fook. i had to work more to get the money to buy the equipment, plus, the root cause problem, i wasnt creative musically. i couldnt write music, so i couldnt fulfill my goal of being in a band to Play Shows.

of course the idea of being in a Cover Band was ridiculous to me. i wish i wasnt so closed minded against that. really my best memories of playing music was playing cover songs.

now i did manage to be a LITTLE creative musically and I made the most of that, doing it My Way, essentially having a Solo Project. No real equipment, just recording songs on a computer.

THAT led to some real confidence when I completed songs there. but that was few and far between. it was SO Frustrating getting over those humps. every time i wrote a song it really was a bit of a miracle.

ok ok ok so i was never the most confident.

DONT TOUCH A D1CK UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO COMMIT TO IT FOR TWO YEARS

july 17

924 people in 2 days. applying to an entry level 13 DAH job.

horry sheet.

i will never cease to be amazed by this. maybe they will pull it on Monday after their HR Department (ie one woman admin asst) gets back in on monday. just so they could collect 1000 applications over the weekend hahaha.

so why dont job postings list even a Low Salary Range?

Does this have the OPPOSITE effect as I think? that every tyrone and jose making 8 bucks an hour will see ooh this job pays 100k, better apply to it?

my mindset is of course the opposite: oh, no way am i qualified for this, i wont even apply. i wont apply to this 40k job, but i WILL apply to this 30k job.  maybe apply to this 35k job.

DEFINITELY apply to this 28k job.

see what I mean?

but do average people just not work like that? i dont know.

i mean the 13 dollar figure didnt keep 900 people from applying! PEOPLE ARE DESPERATE FOR 13 DOLLARS AN HOUR!

I figure thats the point: you put in ANY salary, and you will get DUMPED on with 100000000 applicants.

put no salary, you will only get the “SERIOUS” candidates hahaha. smaller pile of resumes to sift through.

therefore, 70% of postings have no salary.

i want to hear j read playing something a bit more “song oriented” than revenge. here is the ridic project he did with the singer from primordial, who has a great voice, although im not sure the two styles mix all that well.

yes j read sounds very beastly hahahaha. heck of a guy.

i thought mannequin was spelled mannequin, not manikin. wtf. why dont i call myself and ask them/me which one is correct.

now that my average job apply time is like 12 minutes, which is better than expected, i want to improve my Newly Created Jobs Per DAY metric, to at least Three Per Day. counting Weekends.  so, 21 applications per WEEK. that isnt so bad is it????

right now I am close to 3 but not quite there. like 2.8, 2.9. how am I not at 3?

because i take days off because they are no great jobs left to apply to, or i am running around getting a god damn new suit tailored hahahaha.

2 vs 3, its 60 jobs vs 90 a month.

no one ever told me in high school or Topkek Univeristy that there would be 1000 applicants for a 13 dollar an hour job! my fam never told me! they didnt know! they would be AMAZED! I am amazed! shit.

well maybe not all jobs are that bad competition wise. I know that for a fact, because some jobs have been open for 5 days and only have 50 applicants. the job descriptions are a lot shittier though, OR the jobs are nowhere near entry level.

its like its a BIG SECRET how to get an Enty LEvel job hahaha. and nobody REALLY knows how, and the ones who DO know how, keep it a tightly guarded secret and make bullshit lies and statistics and say go to college in this or that.

maybe ALL entry level jobs go through recruiters and never get to indeed. but dont the recruiters put them on indeed? maybe. sometimes. or they put the jobs on their own websites that may or may not get picked up by indeed. and I havent found a way to request that indeed “Crawl” a site it doesnt seem to be crawling.

you better make sense of everything because you gotta give a presentation to the president of the company in a few days and educate him on this, and convince him you know what youre talking about. even though you have no clue.

you can ask questions and look like an idiot…..but how do you know you’re even asking the RIGHT questions, because you dont know shit about shit. again, unknown unknowns. i wish they WERE known unknowns! but that would be too easy. only 8 dollar an hour ingras work with KNOWN unknowns.

NOBODY TOLD ME!!!!!

pick suit up from the arab today. hopefully. interview in 2 days.

july 18

ok got muh 3 applications done for the day and its not even noon yet hahahaha.

BAD! when I have the time, i am supposed to do MORE THAN 3 to compensate for the days I do LESS THAN 3!!!!!!

come on. reject me for “warehouse coordinator” and get the rejection email within 24 hours of applying? i applied to 3 jobs and was rejected by all 3 from the same latina HR woman hahahahaha. admin asst, warehouse coordinator, and machine prepper.  THANKS.  yes of course i used the 10 page packet. maybe the 10 page packet is TOO LONG hahahaha.

maybe my cover letter wasnt tailored enough.

i saw one posting today that said something like “send us a GOOD cover letter and we’ll talk.”

this is a work hard play hard sort of company. more like chained to your desk because people are afraid to take lunch. and “firm 40” means 50. and you work off the clock to appear more productive. and the only way to prove you’re not slacking is to be ABSOLUTELY SLAMMED every minute of every day.  and you want a GOOD cover letter? how bout my GOOD dik in yo mouf, inggra?

suck muh GOOD big dikk, bitch!

using aloe softsoap and now my hands smell kind of like they have been soaked in stale beer. pretty gross. not a good smell.

or that horrible smell when people drink beer all day on a hot day and start getting Beer BO. god damn degenerate drunks. how do THEY make 28k a year.

my nightmare is to get trapped by some disgusting 5 or 6 bar slut single mom that i bang just because im lonely and she lets me, and i want to use her as a practice gurl to someone better, but then she gets preggers with a poor bastard and i have to Do The Right Thing and marry the skank and raise the child hahahahaha.

i mean i AM VERYYYYYYY against abortion. Ideally I would say, give the child up for adoption, or I am getting a Financial Abortion hahahaha.

which is why its bad to bang women in the first place when you dont want to have a child with them! this IS the life creation process after all!

ok got muh blue suit from the arab tailor, it looks good, i think he made the hem too big though, or rather, just forgot to cut it. i mean you cant see it so it doesnt really matter. this is the part on the inside of the pant leg.

was in the mall for 5 minutes and saw tons of cute teen gurls. some with albanian or arab men.

women are natural born race traitors, they have no concept of race. MEN are the custodians of the race. women will just go for whatever race is STRONGER. the strong horse idea. cant blame them. its what they do hahahaha. and because whites are wimps and arabs are strong macho men, white women go for arab and other MACHO men.

dont get mad at women for being race traitors, they’re not SUPPOSED to be loyal to their race, they’re not SUPPOSED to be loyal to anything except a strong man, and once he stops being strong, she doesnt have to be loyal to him anymore!

i am kinda assmad about that part tho, because I prefer “do you promise to be faithful in good times AND BAD”

is it unreasonable to ask women to be faithful in bad times?

not if she’s agreeing to it! not if she’s getting a good husband out of the deal!

but what if its a bad husband?

in fatherland episode 35 johnny monoxide (guest) and jim talk a bit about Premarital Counseling and how it is a good idea. How sometimes you are so blinded you dont realize that you are Fundamentally Incompatible with someone cuz youve never TALKED about abortion or never TALKED about how you resolve conflict or etc etc. and the counselor brings up these big bombs to see if you can handle them. like that ridiculous movie with robin williams.

i agreed and thought it was a great idea.

so yeah i honestly….

is it reasonable or not to expect a woman to BE ABLE to be faithful to you? or is it asking too much, like asking the rabid pit bull to NOT attack everything in sight?

i’ve SEEN women be faithful with my own eyes. but they truly luv their men. often when they shoudlnt. usually these men are just stubborn as shit and they really dont give a damn about the woman AT ALL. so THATs what I need to do.

but that just sounds IMPOSSIBLE. Besides, I LIKE being able to truly luv a woman. i just want to luv and then be luved in return.

also, ok fine i will accept that women have no racial loyalty. but I will NOT let them get away with no responsibility or luv for their own children.

like saying, its ok for women to like abortion because women naturally like abortion, its who they are, they don’t really luv their children, so its ok for them to kill them.

NO. NEVER.

because rather than just breaking a persons heart or ruining a mans life….they are TAKING a persons life. A Bridge Too Far!!!!!!!!!

natural born race traitors, strong horse vs weak horse, wanting protection and security. ok that kinda makes sense. but murdering your own children NEVER makes sense.

i hate admin asst jobs that are like super high level. like assistant to THE DIRECTOR. to the PRESIDENT. the CEO. these are all essentially VP and executive level admin assistants. isnt there anything more ENTRY LEVEL hehehe.

i just dont like the idea that when you deal with a woman, you’re responsible for EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING is YOUR FAULT. no exceptions. she does something bad to you….its YOUR FAULT. she cheats on you, its YOUR FAULT. shes a bitch to you, its YOUR FAULT. she leaves you hanging, its YOUR FAULT.

but how is this NEW? Women have been doing this FOREVER!

And yeah its a big reason why i dont like them. they have no responsibility or ACCOUNTABILITY or ownership.

some alt right comment thread said that women dont have loyalty to their MEN, they have loyalty to their CHILDREN. they couldnt give a shit about their men. they don’t care about their race, they dont care if their hearts are broken, these men are not really people to them. the only people who matter to women are their children…….so when women kill their children what does that say?

did a fun new 3.8 mile walk hahahaha.

dunno. i just hate being left in the lurch. and then thinking its MY FAULT, because this is what women DO to weak men. and i was undeniably weak. oh god was i weak. so I brought this on myself. nothing about this is unexpected or unreasonable. this is just what women do with a weak man. they LEAVE YOU IN THE LURCH. and you cannot expect more. you’re wrong to expect more. because this is is what women DO to weak men.  PERIOD. ACCEPT IT.

but i don’t WANT to accept it!!!!! i want ot think they can do a LITTLE better!

for good times and bad!

but we werent MARRIED! she never made a public formal COMMITMENT to me!

well i feel she was a LITTLE committed to me, not like married, but i dunno. 3 year friendship implies commitment. entitled me to have her buck her horrible female nature — to make an exception for me, and not act like a damn WOMAN.

but yeah i like the idea of premarital counseling. just dont go to a jooish one who wants to promote white genocide and white divorce. i suspect they would push you into a shitty marriage, so you can get divorced, cuz whites getting divorced makes joos happy and richer. more counselors, more lawyers, etc.

how about a good christian white marriage counselor who wants to see the RIGHT people get married, but will honestly advise people who SHOULDNT get married.

AGAIN, this is another responsibility that is ALL ON THE MAN. You think a WOMAN knows whether you should really get married or not? FOOK NO! Why? Because its a Responsibility, and Women are Naturally Irresponsibiler than a 50 foot baby with a machine gun.

That Person wasnt very intelligent or assertive or charismatic or a great people person, but people THINK shes a good people person because she sits there and says mhmm and appears to listen, though she comprehends nothign and isnt really listening and doesnt have an original thought in her head. (again, not expecting that women SHOULD be charismatic and intelligent.)

my POINT is, you have to have PEOPLE SKILLS and not be WEIRD in order to get a JOB. so she will have an easier time getting a JOB even though she has kinda bad people skills. I have better people skills than her, but a harder tie getting a job, because I still am a little weird, and probably not as good people skills as the average man.

well, i think in the long run i do, but its hard for me to Wow people in the Short Term and to Sell Myself in the Short Term. over the long term they can see that I am AWESOME…..but that doesnt matter in the job interview.

heh i should look up this guy Im using as a reference.

well i did find his gmail address. this may be useful because his old work email address probably has been shut down hahahaha. he was a good guy. a decent human being. i liked and respected him. i never knew how old he was, but turns out he is 4 years younger than me hahahaha.  and he was a manager, not a level 2. or a level 3. he MANAGED level 1s, 2s, and 3s hahahaha. I do not think he had a hardcore college degree, i cant even find him on linkedin.

anyway, point is, i gotta wear a fancy god damn 180 dollar tailored suit to compensate for my below-average-for-men people skills, to get a job, when she just needs to sit there and look pretty and nod her head and say yes.

i am kinda assmad about having to compete with women for jobs, and i am assmad that they are handily outcompeting/outperforming me!

WOMEN DONT STOP BEING CHILDREN UNTIL THEY HAVE CHILDREN

july 15

347 people have applied in 18 hours since first posting for an “ENTRY LEVEL OFFICE CLERK” job with a trucking company. i saw the posting and said, wow, grade 8, this looks very good For Me, and then at the bottom it said that 347 people had applied. meaning that there are 347 Unemployed Job Seekers like me who have indeed open ALL DAY and are hitting refresh every couple minutes. this is how you spot jobs BEFORE the daily emails, folks. and 347 other desperate people are out there in my area competing for ONE job that pays THIRTEEN dollars an hour. they were honest enough to say that. good for them. most companies arent. the number was not low enough to dissuade THREE HUNDRED and FORTY SEVEN people from applying in a mere EIGHTEEN HOURS of being posted.

MOTHER FOOKER. I applied for this job a few days ago that I rated grade A, and I forgot to change one of the company names in the cover letter from the name of the company I had applied to BEFORE that.

my only saving grace is, the cover letter is kinda long and they might have stopped reading after the first paragraph.

oh shit i think this 347 job is a division of this other trucking company that has a very bad reputation and which i decided was not a good company to wrk for hahaha because they cut corners, gave shoddy service, and were generally very semitic in their operations. like having 6000000 diff company names in a holding company so you dont even know its the same company, the same hand rubbing J who owns it all. he’s not even a J, he’s an arab hahahahahahahahahaha. i did muh due dilegence.

anyway they can get 347 people without using a recruiter.

but this is the bottom of the barrel! people who will apply to everything and anything! they need a recruiter to actually READ those 347 resumes and be able to separate the good from the bad and really ACQUIRE the TALENT!!!!!

and offer them a 17 dollar an hour job sight unseen by the company, with no official interview. WTF.

heh. just to reiterate, there is no recruiter at work here, and the job is 13 hourly. just 347 in 18 hours applying to work at a company notorious for shitty service.

sheeeit.

ok so i went to burlington coat factory, their selection was not as good as jcpenney, but a little cheaper, and found a real nice gray jacket in the clearance section. once i found a decent coat, it was hard not to buy the pants of the exact same color. so i did. i tried to find the most average gray color i could find, so it could match well with other pants. this is the problem with the blue thing i got at jcpenney. i liked the blue color, but its gonna be real hard to match with other pants if needed.  REAL hard.

so now I essentially have TWO brand new suits hahahahah. a blue one and a gray one.

wonder if i should have just gone to mens wearhouse to one of there BOGO sales and buy a 400 dollar suit. lets just say i spent around 440 dollars. that includes two full suits with alterations done on the pants and jacket. also includes 2 new dress shirts, 2 new ties, and a new belt. 440 dollars. US dollars. damn. is it worth it? fam said they would pay half. which is nice of them. I appreciate it.

but the good news is, i have two brand new matching suits that fit well. hopefully this will last me at least 440 days hahahaha.

2 years.

the blue one is “slim” fitting while the gray one is “traditional/classic” fitting. which resulted in a coat size that differed by 4. that seemed like a lot. so I still dont know my official coat size. its within 2 up or down hahaha.

i tried a different tailor today. they were pretty expensive. i wont be going back there. I really like the idea of tailoring because my waist is an inbetween size, and my legs are short and stumpy as fook. really the legs are the issue. i essentially would need to get EVERY pair of pants TAILORED for my short fooking manlet legs.

I should REALLY learn how to do it myself!!!!!!!

burlington coat factory was full of blacks and loud arab women hahahahaha. we dont get a lot of mexican Steezers or Southeast Asian Zipperheads or Flips like they do in some areas, but we DO get a lot of arabs hahahaha.

why are there long lines at retail checkouts? BECAUSE IT COSTS TOO MUCH TO OPEN ANOTHER REGISTER.

so whenever you complain about the line being too long anywhere, why don’t they open another register…….

have you ever worked a day in your life???

you don’t simply open another register! that would IMPLY that you have some EXTRA person twiddling their thumbs somewhere in your store! that would IMPLY you have TOO MANY PEOPLE working!!! that would IMPLY you don’t have a Skeleton Crew every second of every shift!

so never get mad or impatient when you have to wait in line, and for damn sure don’t get bitchy at the poor lost soul making 8 dollars an hour at the cash register. I will find you. AND I WILL ____ YOU. hahahahahaha.

I guess I really do have the heart of a LABOR ACTIVIST amirite.

the ETERNAL STRUGGLE of LABOR VS MANAGEMENT.

LABOR VS CAPITALISTS.

PROLES VS BOURGE VS SUPERRICH PLUTOCRATS hahaha.

justcallthemj00s.wav hahahahaha

i am SUBPROLE though, I have to compete against 350 other….

checking the posting now….

460 people in 23 hours!!!!! 20 people per hour!

this must be the most attractively written job posting ever. how the hell can I show you this job desription without DOXING myself. I CANT. theres just no way. it’s basically a 13 dollar an hour job that is openly listed as Entry Level, and Great for College Students, rather than some job that calls for 5 years of experience, supervisory, and lists 6000000 things that you have no idea what they are. just a basic bitch entry level job, no ridiculous experience required. says nothing about HAVING a college degree. just that Current College Students are encouraged to apply. implying, you don’t NEED to have a College Degree.

for THIRTEEN dollars an hour. and those fast food ingras are bitching about FIFTEEN dollars an hour.

the AVERAGE per capita income in the us is 28k a year. this is approx FOURTEEN dollars an hour. THAT is my goal. but I will take THIRTEEN. FIFTEEN is just fooking GREEDY IMHO.

I applied for the job already when it was at 350. now, like FIVE hours later, its at 460.

this was just an eye opener folks. I’ve never seen so high a number, and in such a short amount of time.

why didnt they just close it at 100?

when are they going to close it?

how do they have time to look at 500 resumes? 1000 resumes? they DONT!!!!

back in the good old days, you didnt have to compete with 500 people for an entry-level job that paid slightly below average.

being AVERAGE wasnt such a god damn STRUGGLE!

the only entry level jobs are fooking call centers, part time, restaurants, retail.

i had a job when i was 16, but it was easy and stressless, even though it was low paying. now i kinda wish I had a REAL shitty job: low paying AND high stress. like a restaurant. when I was 16. learned how to deal with bitch f4ggot asshole customers from a very young age. now i just can barely handle it.

http://www.themodestman.com/how-to-hem-dress-pants/

hehehehe a site for SHORT men. their euphemism of choice is the MODEST man. MODEST = MANLET. that is hilarious.

http://www.manmadediy.com/users/dan_e_t/posts/2630-the-diy-tailor-how-to-hem-dress-pants-like-a-pro

http://www.themodestman.com/the-1-most-important-fashion-tip-for-short-men/

http://www.themodestman.com/100-famous-short-men/

lotta J’s on that list hahahaha. I am not a J I swear, I am just short as fook. 5 7 on a tall day. yet I like tall women. damn.

how many “amicable” divorces are there? how come men get so screwed? why do they wives HAVE to take SO MUCH, why do they HAVE to take the kids and move 3000 miles away?

they don’t HAVE to do this! Why can’t they just say, LISTEN, I’m not trying to scam you, I don’t want any money, and it’s only fair that we have 50 50 custody, and I don’t WANT an alimony, I just want out of this marriage, but I don’t want to SCREW or SCAM you either.

why do they HAVE to take the mentality of I’m gonna bleed this sucker dry?

why do they have to hate him and want such REVENGE on him? when he is begging to Work on the Marriage and saying please dont leave me? give him the GOOD WILL of NOT trying to SHAKE HIM DOWN! talk about insult to injury!!!!

why are women so evil that they always have to add insult to injury? Can’t they just injure without insult? especially when that insult is so big and long term that it ends up being another damn injury?

I have a ridiculous idealized view of women, that women cant possibly live up to…….

………..but I STILL think they can do a LITTLE better. just do a LITTLE better.

you dont have to be some pure virgin, you don’t have to be with less than 5 guys, you dont have to have neer banged a black guy, you dont have to have 0 abortions, you dont have to have never cheated……but just  TRY a LITTLE harder. Don’t be a TOTAL piece of SHIT. Don’t add insult to injury. make a LITTLE effort. make a 1% effort. effort means a lot. rather than being a piece of shit and wanting to be WORSHIPPED for it. nope. i wont do it hahahaha. i will loudly denounce it.

80 people dead in nice france. come on folks. this sort of stuff didnt happen 20 years ago. at this regularity, at this magnitude.

another thing. when you are FOREVERALONE, you don’t develop NORMAL INTERESTS. your main interests are why gurls don’t like you, what is wrong with gurls, what is wrong with YOU, why are you so weak, women are bitches, and these WEIRD, BAD interests take precedence over NORMAL good interests like Career, Education, Sports, Exercise, Family, Friends, Religion, being a good person, books, even vidya games.

so you have nothing to talk about with women. “hey baby, want to talk about how fooked up women are? how you are all INFANTS who aren’t capable of a decent relationship and you need to be trained like animals? also want to talk about how weird and creepy and fooked up and omega I am, and my self loathing and inferiority?”

see, it becomes impossible to have a normal conversation with a woman, or even a man really. the only people you can talk to are people on your despair forums, people on your woman hating forums, people on your racist forums hahahahaha. and the racists are really too much of WINNERS to accept a loser like you into their winner normie group! they have good jobs and good women.

up to 509 applicants in 1 day. i am keeping that tab open for a few days. this is AMAZING. and not in a good way.

this is not a national thing. it is just a god damn entry level full time 13 dollars an hour job that does not demand a degree and is suitable for a 18 to 22 year old who just wants to work and make a modest, slightly below average living. but I guarantee there are people from a 50 mile radius, with masters degrees and 20 years of experience, applying for it. so many desperate people out there. i am one of them. fortunately I am quite below average when it comes to desperation! I have a safety net! most desperate people do NOT.

pokemon. shit. i am amazed at how HUGE of a thing this has become in one lousy week. how are there SO MANY early adopters? there has to be a business lesson here. I’ve never seen something become SO successful, SO quickly. if i had a Smart Phone, I would probably check it out. and want a nice cuddly waifu to play pokemon with hahaha. one with n < 10.

all the women I’ve even been interested in….have all been fairly attractive. there have been no uglies or fatties. no 5/10’s. shit was any of them even a 6? not really. they were all 7 at least. 7s and 8s.

I am simply not man enough to pull 7s and 8s. I need to aim for 6s and more likely 5s.

but ive never been interested in or attracted to 5s or 6s.

and quite honestly no 5s or 6s have ever been interested in ME!

some women haters say women are literally good for nothing but secs.

I disagree with this wholeheartedly. Women haters like ME KNOW that women are good for other things, namely, that warm fuzzy feeling when a gurl you like is VERY NICE to you. I’m not even sure what to call it. Nice. Pleasant. Not being a huge bitch. When a woman is very nice to you, it also feels good, like sticking your dick in a bitchs mouth or cvnt hahahahahahahaha. IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT.

yes I AM being facetious.

but it DOES feel good when a woman is Super Nice to you. Even a Nice Guy likes it when people are NICE to him.

but yeah. im still a total women hater, but I CAN appreciate other things women do other than secs, so I just wanted to white knight for a second and say that when women are not total bitches, that is a many splendored thing hahaha.

but yeah. how can an ADULT have a proper relationship with a CHILD?

Are we really expecting TOO MUCH out of women? like expecting a dog NOT to eat a steak you leave lying out? you can’t expect a woman NOT to destroy the hearts that are offered to her?

well, theres a HUGE difference between leaving food out, and choosing to offer your heart to another person!!!!!!!

meaning, leaving the steak out is just an accident, and not a huge deal. but offering your heart is a long term, VERY premeditated, VERY intentional thing, that you dont do accidentally, in other words.

also, a dog eating food? not a big deal and an understandable reflex. it’s not a destructive antisocial thing. destroying a heart is. there’s many valid reasons to eat food. there’s no valid reasons to destroy a heart. unless they are trying to get REVENGE for some perceived wrong. and they always view themselves as a fooking victim. they are too childish to understand or especially ADMIT WHEN THEY ARE WRONG.

So again, how can an adult have a real relationship with a CHILD?

well, that’s just the way the relationship WORKS until the man gets a few BABIES out of that woman. A man becomes an adult without having children. a woman NEEDS to have children to become an adult.

WOMEN DONT STOP BEING CHILDREN UNTIL THEY HAVE CHILDREN. 

i mean SHIT. even an untrained dog wont necessarily ATTACK everything it can reach.

and you can certainly train a dog not to attack everything.

so women are essentially like savage pitbull dogs that are fooking DANGEROUS because they aggressively attack everything. and then their white trash stupid owners get assmad when respectable people look down on pitbulls. because they are aggressive hostile ingra dogs, that’s why.

no white person, even a woman, is destined by nature that they HAVE to act like a savage ingra. NOPE. I just won’t accept that.

536 people, 1 day.

whos gonna LOOK at 540 resumes for a 13 DAH job?

WHEN are they gonna pull the posting? 600 people? why dont they do it right now?

hahahaha glad I got in when it was only 360 or so, hahahahahaha. and by then the job had been open for 18 hours.

the idea that getting an email update “within 24 hours” is NOT GOOD ENOUGH because within 24 hours, FIVE HUNDRED people have already applied!

makes you feel bad about skipping a day looking at the indeed list. for not refreshing the list at least twice a day.

military coup in turkey? is that good or bad? was thinking a military coup in the US might be a good thing. but how trustworthy is our military leadership? dont know. I generally have a good opinion of the rank and file. if they ran the show i would be all in favor of a military coup. martial fascist law.  but not sure about the top brass.

heh jim on fatherland sperged out on the idea of miltary wives being huge sluts and cheating while the husbands are deployed. i agreed with jim but he gave it a great perspective: these women are TRAITORS because they are directly hurting our MILITARY. our SOLDIERS. the people who protect our nation. and these women are tearing their hearts out. so they are TRAITORS to our COUNTRY, this is TREASON or SEDITION and must be punishable by DEATH. HANG them.

and I thought yeah I am ok with that too! good call jim!

now if not military, well, its still a BETRAYAL, they are still a KIND of traitor, and should be punished by public head-shaving at LEAST, plus a 10000 dollar fine to their husband.

NOT a divorce where she gets an alimony and custody of the kids.

public headshaving, 10000 dollar fine to the husband. for a start.

ok how about 6000. but at LEAST 5000 dollars. I’m thinking I had at least 6000 dollars in expenses for muh DUI, with court, probation, lawyer, license reinstatement, restitutions, alcohol bracelet, GPS bracelet, several piss tests a week, several god damn breathalyzers a week, etc. it was like 6 or 7 grand all told.

so i think cheating is more serious a crime and you should get 7 or 8 grand fine at least.

and like i said, public headshaving. with a level 0 fookin buzzer.

so then cheaters will just wear wigs to hide their short hair right?

so when you are banging some slut, pull her hair to see if she’s wearing a wig! easy peasy! and if she is, you know she’s a cheater! recently! and that this is not wife material!

ideally, wife material would not be having secs with ANY man in the short term. PERIOD.

women are terrible because we are REWARDING BAD BEHAVIOR.  its simple conditioning and reinforcement.

we are rewarding bad behavior, so they behave badly.

we need to PUNISH bad behavior.

PUNISH bad behavior, REWARD good behavior, and then we will

MAKE WOMEN GOOD AGAIN 

hahahahaha.

but see, its not NORMAL to be “interested” in women in this way!!!! women should NOT be an interest of men IN THIS WAY, ie, a topic you spend a LOT of time thinking about How Women Work and how you can play their stupid game and win. you shouldnt even be THINKING about their stupid game, you should be thinking of how to WIN at your OWN game, ie, career, money, respect, power, status.

also women can’t understand men who have  been single for a year, let alone 2 years, 4 years, 8 years, foreveralone………because no woman has ever been Single for a YEAR. if they don’t have a long term rel, then they will CERTAINLY have short term rels and slut it up during that year.

but a man who has neither short nor long term rel for a YEAR. Women can’t relate to that at all. They’ve simply never done it. So don’t listen to their bullshit patronizing advice! they have NEVER been there, done that! they dont know what theyre talking about, period.

however the better ones will mean well. still doesnt mean they know what theyre talking about.

they might swear off having a boifran. “Im done with men. I dont want a relationship right now.” that means, I’m gonna be a SLUT and have casual secs and disgusting short term rels for at least a year, add another 5 men to my number in the course of a year.

so if a woman ever says that, “i just wanna be single for a while.” you might think OH, THATS GOOD. she treats relationships seriously, and just doesn’t want to jump into short term bullshit rels.

be very afraid, because that’s probably EXACTLY what she means. that’s code for PRECISELY I want to do nothing but bullshit casual short term rels and slut it up like a dirty slut.

so when she says that, you have to call and raise that bet, be like, what do you mean? no dating? no sex? that BETTER be what you mean, or else youre a SLUT! and I don’t reward sluts, I PUNISH them!

then dump dogshit all over their expensive slutty jeans and clothes. that’s probably the best way to punish sluts hahahaha. maybe put a dead PIG in their bed hahahahaha.

cuz i dont advocate violence against women, not even sluts. just saying known cheaters should have their heads shaved and they should be heavily fined. and cheating military wives should be hanged for being an enemy of the state.

oh tom petty why did you play at some j00ish plutocrats daughteres bat mitzvah. I dont CARE if he paid you a million shekels. (david brooks, not the jooish neocon “journalist” for the joo york slimes, but some j00ish new york stock broker).  you are better than that tom petty. at least I thought you were. playing private parties for a literally hand rubbing merchant.

i mean i would do it, because I need a million bucks more than tom petty does. and I would use the million on my white family. tom petty would just spend it on weed and banging half white sluts hahahahahaha.

it sucks that someone can write honest decent music and still be a degenerate in person.

well i hear tom petty is super laid back and nice.

sure because he is smoking weed all day like willie nelson.

ok i have no PROOF he is banging sluts or being a bad father. I hope he is not banging sluts and is being a good father.

anyway do you think WOMEN spend NEARLY as much time as forever alone men thinking and obsessing about relationships and relship partners, in their case, men?

do women in general spend as much time and energy thinking and worrying about men, as men do thinking about WOMEN?

I dont think so.

but this is normal and right and just, because women dont HAVE to, women are the CHOOSERS BECAUSE women get pregnant! so I can get butthurt about it!

I just want them to show more RESPONSIBILITY with their power. when you wield power with no responsibility, the people on the receiving end of that power lose all respect for you, hahahahahahahaha. your power SEEMS very illegitimate. even if it IS Biologically, Physically LEgitimate.

july 16

596 people. and i wasnt even in the first half of them! me! who has a Solid System with getting to new job postings FAST! well its not fast enough! what is THESE peoples systems then?

heh. i wish ann coulter had just gotten married when she was young and had a nice family. she is one of my top women and she still looks ok. but i dont like that she bangs black guys like a degenerate. that could just be a rumor though. she should have had a family starting when she was young. she was very hawt when she was young. i wonder how big of a SLUT she was at that time. probably much more than I would like.  but I like that she is so far right that she is almost alt right hahahaha. and she takes rightful pleasure in mocking and shaming The Regressive Left hehehe.

applied to another entry level office clerk position that only had 190 people apply in the first 24 hours hahahaha.

i figure my Impressive Packet will automatically put me in the top 20%.

not good enough.

ok, maybe even top 10%.

you think they are gonna interview 19 people? they will interview like 5 or 6 or 7. so you better be in the top 3 or 4% to get the interview, and the top  .5% to get the job.

meanwhile all through school, they tell you if you are in the top 20% you are awesome.

nope, they should tell you you are shit unless you are in the top .5%. POINT five percent. 5% is still shit.

The Real World is like a High Expectations Asian Father, when it comes to jobs and women. you better be in the top 0.5% or youre NOTHING. nobody. a damn failure. loser at life.

your reward for being in the top .2%? (1 out of 600 applicants for the other job) a job that pays somewhat below average.

i hope this pence vp pick does not cause the trumpenfuhrer to lose the election.

DONT TOUCH A DICK UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO COMMIT TWO YEARS TO IT. 

that would be a great rule of thumb. technically the same goes for men touching cvnt, but I shouldnt even need to say this: women touching dick is pretty much the gatekeeper of men touching cvnt.

i was thinking maybe women could get TATTOOS that say “cheater” or “abandoner”. and it would be a crime for tattoo “artists” to remove those tattoos. tattoos themselves would be shamed, shunned, and disincentivized.

im not 100% about this pence. why do you even need a vice president hahahaha. just pick ann coulter for VP.

or how about nation of one, the cool marine alpha male father from the fatherland and trs. i heard rumors he was not 100% white but i would give him a pass if so.

so yeah tattoos and headshavings, monthly headshavings, for cheaters. and abandoners. and heavy fines. add it to their student loan debt hahahaha.

maybe this is just because I want to punish HER. she did something wrong, so she should be punished.

so what would be the best punishment for HER?

nothing violent of course.

really the only punishment I want for her is for her to meet me in a court of Relationship Law, a judge or jury to decide that she did something wrong, and then for her to feel bad about to it, own up to it, and express remorse for it. That would be enough for me. no tattoos, no headshaving, no fines. just meet me publicly, have both sides evaluated, listened, heard, understood, judged, and her to realize she did something wrong, and be truly sorry for it.

write me a 10 page letter OR pay me a 1000 dollar fine. I would probably give 900 back to her needy family.

its less of a felony and more of a misdemeanor.

village of jamel germany filled with 35 neonazis! i should move there.

why have i never listened to inquisition? they seem pretty good. but i had no idea how ridiculous the vocals were. i can tolerate it though. they have fast blast beats and seemingly interesting riffs. the jooish filth blog metalsucks also accuses them of being RACIST because of a story by an ex-racist with a swastika tattoo who said that when the inquisition guys saw his swastika tat a few years ago, they got really excited and interested.

however im not seeing a lot of talk about this in youtube comments, like oh these despicable phil anselmo like racists. 90% of the comments are about the ridiculous vocals but damn are those some sweet riffs and this kinda reminds me of immortal.

reminds you immortal in a good way, not a bad way.

so yeah. no headshaving, no abandoner tattoos. this is like third degree, accidental, mansluahgter type abandonment. first degree predmeditated abandonment would get a tattoo.

ANY kind of CHEATING is BETRAYAL and gets instant tattoo. and headshaving.

where would the tattoo go? probably just on the arm. I mean you could put it on the face. but if youre banging a girl, you will eventually see her ARM anyway. also it was good enough for joos in the campz to get tats on their ARM.

larping hahahaha.

her punishment is just to respond to me and apologize hahahaha. wow what a cruel and unusual punishment that is totally worse than the crime hahahaha.

so yeah. when women divorce men, why dont they ever try to do it respectfully or nicely? do they HAVE to do it as VINDICTIVELY as possible? it really makes women look evil and petty and horrible.

695 applicants, 1 day. 13 dollar an hour entry level job. damn.

how to be #1 out of 695.

ive always admitted when I was wrong! and felt really bad for it! shit ive thought I was wrong when I wasnt! blamed myself for things I didnt do! like blaming myself for making her dump me in such an incredible manner.

i guess punching out and continuing to work for a few hours unpaid is common. i am talking about people who actually punch a clock, like hourly, or people who need to be paid overtime, or are someone instructed to work less than 40 or 48 hours a week. well they still gotta get the work done. so they punch out and work off the clock to finish the stuff they have to do, or else their manager will fire them at will.

how come they didnt teach us this in high school or college hahahahaha.

or that you had to STUDY for your job and do HOMEWORK for it just like you did for school?

because every day on the job is like a Big Test, or a Big Sports Championship, and you have the knot of dread in your stomach, “I AM NOT READY FOR THIS. I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.” and all you can do is try to survive one day at a time and then study during as much of your free time as possible. Come home, smoke a huge blunt to unwind for 30 minutes, then start STUDYING your job material until its time to go to bed.

NOBODY TOLD ME!!!!!

also that woman wouldnt study at all. she would just smoke weed and take care of her family hahahaha like a slacker deadbeat. and now she is getting ahead in the industry while I have fallen way behind. she has left me by the wayside. left me WAY behind. feels bad man hahaha.

DO NO HARM.

say the degenerate godless spiritual but not religious degenerates.

well what I hate is that women do SO MUCH HARM wihtout even realizing it, through their promiscuity, casual sex, cheating, abandonment, leaving people hanging, walking away from responsibilitiy, disappointment,  immaturity. that’s why I don’t like women: because they’ve dove ME a lot of harm and I don’t think they’ve shown enough remorse for it! You should feel bad for doing bad things! DO NO HARM!!!!

open relationships harm people! cheating harms people! breaking hearts is harmful and hurtful! that is why I dont like women!

and no, men should not do these things to women either.

but women control the supply of sex. men DO NOT. men are the demand for sex.

WOMEN ARE THE SUPPLY OF SEX, MEN ARE THE DEMAND. 

wow might be top 5% posts here. welp not good enough, you gotta be top 0.5%.

 

TOP 5% IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, TOP 0.5% IS. 

i have always been an Aphorist hahahahaha.

 

What does IC stand for in context to software engineers and computer programmers?
Not referring to integrated circuits.
2 Answers
Nick Malik
Nick Malik, I’ve written over a half million lines of production code
Individual Contributor — a person who is not a manager, whose effort contributes to the value of the product or supporting processes.

thank you. IC was a bit tricky acronym to figure out. but i figured it out in 3 minutes. that woman would just ask a thirsty beta orbiter for help HELP ME hahahaha.

but I was a bad man who imposed on her while she was having a FAMILY CRISIS! how bad am I! I should get a tattoo that says selfish and insensitive and pushy and needy and clingy!

“you may also use this second follow-up to reinforce how you envision using your skills to solve a potential challenge you suspect — or even know — the company is facing. Keep this “solution” very brief (1-3 sentences). The power of this “future impact” proposal is to trigger a connection between your value proposition and their pain points.” quote from:

https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/follow-job-application/?ref=apply-email
are you fookin kidding me hahahaha.

MY VALUE PROPOSITION PROVIDES A COST EFFECTIVE SOLUTION TO YOUR PAIN POINTS.

jeeeeeeeezum crow!!!!

yes managers actually talk like that and that is why they are incompetent fooktards who should all be fired, and the people who actually do work should be promoted to supervisor. or maybe have rotating supervisors.

LABOR VS MANAGEMENT hahahaha. destroy capitalist greed hahahaha.

747 applicants now in 2 days of the post being up.

DO NO HARM??? BEing a lying, cheating, abandoning, irresponsible wh0re is HARMFUL to a lot of people, and to society in general!

Being so GOD DAMN IRRESPONSIBLE in RELATIONSHIPS causes a lot of broken hearts! and even ONE broken heart is a LOT of HARM!

DO NO HARM!!!!!

i know you didnt intend to cause the harm, and broken heart harm is pretty much inevitable and not really your fault per se. But you still have a responsibility to say AWWWW Im SORRY. I dont MEAN to break your heart! she didnt even do that!

didnt even SAY I didnt MEAN to break your heart! do THAT much at least!

ok ok i just like to rant about that all the time while I am applying for stupid jobs hahaha. managed to apply for 6 on a staurday. my average is at 12.1 minutes after 43 jobs on the spreadsheet.  the more total jobs, the more accurate that average is. right. looks like the average is gonna be UNDER 15 minutes. that is Better Than Projected hahahaha. That is GOOD news.

I’m pretty irresponsible but I DONT DRAG OTHER PEOPLE INTO IT. My irresponsibility hurts mainly myself. and prob muh fam hehehehe.

they say ann coulter is a man but I would still bang her, even if she’s banged 1000000 ingras. yes she does have a horse face, yes she is grotesquely skinny and possibly anorexic, yes she is 54 years old, but i would still bang her. she has legit very nice hair. very nice hair.

but when you are so irresponsible in relationships and breaking hearts LIKE  A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP….. doesnt mean you praise the bull, and damn sure doesn’t mean you have to like the bull. you take the bull out of the china shop because it just doesnt belong there!

women don’t BELONG in relationships? this sounds like mgtow robot womb robot waifu shit.

no its much more simple.

like i said before: INCENTIVIZE GOOD BEHAVIOR, DISINCENTIVIZE BAD BEHAVIOR.

REWARD THE GOOD, PUNISH THE BAD.

and women are so BAD in the current year because their BAD behavior has been rewarded so much. and not at all punished.

nobody makes them really understand that what they do is WRONG, irresponsible, and bad.

bull in a child shop. a 50 foot baby with a fooking machine gun. or a mario invincibility star that kills everything it touches. the day will come when nobody understands that reference.

up to 798 applicants in 2 days. i thought each job was only supposed to have 5 to 10 applicants. yeah maybe for senior level fookin analyst jobs. entry level average jobs have 800 applicants!

something is REALLY fishy with the way job statistics are measured and reported. this 5% unemployment rate is bullshit. the whole job statistics field is bullshit and lies. damned lies and statistics hahaha. no they didnt add 250000 jobs last month. they added a bunch of temporary 10 hour a week jobs paying 8 bucks an hour. THATS what they added. that is NOT a sign of a healthy economy or a healthy, good job market. its shitty.

listened to that inquisition. the drums kinda sounded like a machine. a good machine but a machine nonetheless. but i think its actually a real guy. i dunno. they have like 100000 albums, maybe i picked the wrong one. the one above, ominous something something. i thought that was their Breakout album though. who knows. id rather listen to immortal. and yeah truly those vocals are RIDICULOUS. i mean he can do whatever he wants, he’s the mastermind of the band, but….WHY? is this supposed to be “throat singing?” and I am pretty tolerant of weird vocals.

and even the “joys” of investigating new boring disappointing music is nothing compared to the joys of small talk about tv and cuddling with a Beloved Waifu.

i thought i hated small talk but with her i luved small talk. cuz it was just a way to spend time and bond and feel totally comfortable with her.

and i really dont hate small talk, even with men. i guess ive never been a HUGE hater of small talk. at worst I found it boring and pointless, but I always sort of understood the point. i didnt hate it with a passion, like AUTISTS, who cant understand it AT ALL and are ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED by it.

so yeah I guess in general I don’t mind small talk, its just a way people can be FRIENDLY or at least POLITE to each other, at worst, and at best, like with her, it really helps build a connection and can lead to Warm Fuzzies.

took some nyquil BEFORE going for the walk. then went for 3.6 mile walk. i wanted to approximate the idea of smoking mj then going for a long walk, which was my real wish.

im just not GREAT at small talk so it makes me NERVOUS so thats the main reason I dont like it. but i can appreciate what it is and what its good for.

and with some people, like her, or muh close friends (which I don’t really have any anymore) i am VERY GOOD at small talk! but complete strangers, not really.

i dont really want any more acquaintances, i want more close friends, hahahaha. all the people who were once my close friends are not any more. some there has been mutual drift. others have pushed me away with their ridiculous behavior (although I have not Thrown Them Away and will still respond to them). and she was one of muh close friends once. i WISH we had just drifted away.  I WISH she had turned me off somehow. like would I have continued luving her if she became a ridiculous alcoholic for example. sure, id probably want to save her. whereas my male drunk friend, i’m not in LUV with him, and he’s been kinda hopeless for a while. just back and forth, up and down, rehab and back, and now its increasingly obvious he has no real desire to stop drinking. he is occasionally coerced and strongarmed by the people who care about him to get help, but you gotta have the desire within. he doesnt have it. i did. i honestly wanted to stop drinking, or i guess i did want TO drink any more, after the shame and punishment of the DUI. Sometimes now I think gee what if I could drink again, but I get over it pretty quickly. a LOT quickly than its taken to get over HER hahahaha.