june 27

got a big bucket of “BODY FORTRESS, SUPER ADVANCED WHEY PROTEIN” for 18 dollars. kind of a Rip off but all these things of protein are around this price.

the containers are so big because one scoop is YUGE. one container is only 18 scoops, and hardcore Body Builders do two scoops at a time.

I will do no more than half of one scoop per day hahaha.

mix half a scoop of protein, with half a cup of vitamin d whole milk, get a thick shake like substance, drink some of it, then mix some of it with a mug of Coffee. Bulletproof hahahaha.

uploaded my resume to the college career center job postings site, and they have a real local american person in the career office of the college approve every damn document you upload. they gave me a ton of Feedback on the resume, i was pleasantly surprised at the time and effort they went through, so i obliged them and made the changes they asked. including using stupid bullet points, shortening the res, not using a packet but separate files.

then i decided to use some of the changes in my actual packet, like making shit look nicer with bolding and centering.

exactly the type of shit i took out months ago when i opted for a “formatting-lite, txt resume.”

so now i am moving back from txt to doc, if you will.

i just hope the shit looks not all fooked up in their version of word. i am saving as doc, no docx, in libreoffice, to be compatible with older versions of word.

anyway i sorta appreciate that they took the time to actually look at the shit and give concrete feedback and told me exactly what to do. so i did it. for them. doesnt mean im gonna use this on all shit, but i took it as a sign, and made some small but i think positive changes with muh permanent packet.

W        E        W        L        A        D






and stuff like saying I had too many sentences starting with “I” in muh cover letter, and that I didnt need months on muh resume.

well they also recommended an objective and i know objective is bad. i did it for them but not otherwise.

its easier to throw away and GET thrown away when you dont really know the person.

when you DO know the other person, have known them for 2+ YEARS, its both harder to throw them away (and more immoral!) AND a LOT harder for the thrown away person to Deal With.

its not a fading or drifting away. it’s slamming the door in someones face with no other response when the other person is begging pleeeeease.

i have drifted away from other friends. but neither of us were begging the other, neither of us were avoiding or ignoring each other.

if my friend said please dont avoid me, i’d say, listen, sorry, but this has to end. im sorry. i just cant do it any more. im sorry to hurt you, but i just cant. its not you, its me. just try to forget about me. im sorry, i cant do this any more. you can blame me. sorry. goodbye.

see? lots of sorrys. lots of trying to spare their feelings, let them know its MY fault and not theirs. they didnt do anything wrong. they will be disappointed, but i am acknolwedging all that and saying sorry. all in 2 damn lines that didnt take a lot of serious thought. took LESS THAN ONE MINUTE to answer all those concerns directly.

yeah. so do you know them or not? Yes i knew them for 2.7 years.

was this a mutual driftaway or not? hell no. i was asking her to respond.

i dont think you quite understand the technicalities here hahahaha. she really DID do something wrong. I’m not misunderstanding THAT hahaha.

had a dream last night featuring one of the few women at muh old shitty job who i wanted to bang. there were about two of them (apart from That Woman.) one was a shorter blond one with very curvy b00bz and bottom, the other was a tall long-legged red haired gurl. technically i preferred the taller one cuz i am a real leg man, but it was the shorter one who was in the dream, yeah i would have gladly banged her too. hahaha. i remember That Women hated/disliked that blond gurl. I wonder if they became frands later.

anyway in the dream i was working with that blond haired gurl on some sort of cooking or baking project that I was screwing up and we werent gonna be able to make enough brownies or whatever in time for all the customers that were gonna come in soon. i just wanted to be out of that situation and maybe hanging out with the blond girl in a much more chill situation where i could focus on banging her casually hahahaha.

well i think this blong girl got a new job and the last time she worked at that job with all of us was in….spring 2015. she hated the job too and wanted to get out. i talked to her like 2 times. she had kind of an obnoxious attitude, like a crude tomboy. filthy mouth, talking about crude stuff, but not all the dicks shes took. who knows how many dicks shes taken. 5? 10? she was like 23 years old. but she had a hot little body that I would have gladly banged. if she were trying to be nice to me, she probably would have been fun to hang out with, and definitely to bang.

ANY woman can be fun to hang out with if they just TRY not to be a bitch. So true. And it’s NOT hard. Just don’t be a bitch. It’s NOT hard. and when a cute young gurl is not being a bitch to you, it’s a pretty good feeling hahahaha.

well i wish the dream were secsier but at least it wasnt THAT WOMAN.

did a 5 mile walk

june 28

always feels good to get rejection email for clerk 1 position than pays like 14 dollars an hour hahaha. well its the county, they probably went with a diversity person or woman rather than a fooking white male hahahaa.

applying for same electronics technician job for the FOURTH time which pops up every 3 or 4 weeks. but this time im using the packet, and the New Better Looking Packet at that! I think this one I still had just a res attached.  These People dont even bother sending rejection letters.

is it normal to apply to 210 jobs and not get a job yet? is it because i start too many sentences with “I” in muh cover letter, which is also a little long? maybe. we will never know hahahaha. can’t prove causation here. too much reasonable doubt and lack of good evidence.

210 stupidass applications. and i GUARANTEE my PACKET is way better than HER shitty resume, yet she still gets to make good money being call center level 2 just because she can SURVIVE and WITHSTAND that environment better than I can. because beta orbiters are going to help her out and make her job easier. answer the phone for her. think quickly for her. put out fires for her. make decisions for her. when she is all idk lol i wanna smoke weed. maybe i will let this one orbiter bang me because he is the toughest badboyest out of them all. it might be fun and if i get preggers i can just get an abortion, no big deal, secs is FUN. ive had enough hard times in muh life, i’ve earned the right to have secs for fun, men suck anyway, might as well use them for their big hard throbbing black dix to bend me over and pound me in the pooper like a bad white trash bitch.

fooking MONSTER hahahahaha.

ok got 5 applications done, all top quality ones today, A and B tier, high and medium tier/priority.

hehe it just is painful. she used to show me mercy and kindness and i liked getting that from a woman. and in the end she showed me NO mercy or kindness. it was a mindfook as well as a heartbreak!

yeah she had circumstances in her life, i’m not discounting that. just take 5 minutes on a weekend or WHENEVER to write me an email just saying sorry but i can’t do this, its not your FAULT, but i cant do this, i wish you well, goodbye. take ONE minute to write that, at some point, after youve cooled down a little bit. not just unfriending me and BLOCKING me and never talking to me again. that is something you do to a person youve known less than 2 weeks, NOT more than 2 YEARS. jeez.

its just ridiculous. she was one of my favorite people, and I WAS ONE OF HER FAVORITE PEOPLE!!!!! so to go from that, to someone who was hated and thrown away…its a big shift haha.

i gave her strong, consistent signals that i had feelings for her! she gave me signals she was distancing from me, but NO indication that she was gonna drop me entirely and never look back! i didn’t think she was capable of doing that to me! I thought she deep down cared about me too much! well apparently not hahaha.

heh dnated one feckin dolla to trad youth party regarding their big event in sacramento recently

they said that all dnations this week would go towards the medical expenses of the brave huhwhyte men who were attacked by leftist antifa scum.