REMAINS OF A LOST DEAD CURSED RUINED SOUL

june 17

met with recruiter. he was no older than 24 years old and had a Portfolio Binder proudly displaying his Alma Mater, which was the Main Rival of My Alma Mater. We called them Idiot Jock Meathead Racists who would be working for US, they called us sissy stuckup snob autist phaggot nerds who don’t know how to pull pvssy. there was no mention of alma maters hahaha. the young man was very nice and had good People Skills and Communication Skills. I explained to him that I was “intentionally looking to move in a different direction than an inbound call center role” had he said “I understand” hahahaha.

they want 1 or 2 MORE references from THAT place. they want 3 references from the last 3 years. I said YESH OF COURSHE I’ll give you some more references from the tech call center. so now I gotta do that. like it’s pretty clear they are gonna call them. maybe they will be like, i am sick of giving references for this asshole, why doesn’t he just get a JOB already, fook it, plus I’m already giving references 8 hours a day for all the people we laid off while also looking for a new job myself because I am laid off, lets let this one slide, besides, he left 11 months ago, why didn’t he just take that job at the healthcare tech call center a few months ago like alot of our people did. what is he holding out for the perfect dream job? he hasnt paid his dues yet! just look at his resume! look at his age!

Thank you for applying for the position of Administrative Program Assistant with the cityname. At this time, your application was rejected, as your submission does not meet the minimum qualifications as listed in our job description and advertisement.

OH WOW what a bunch of assholes. that is the most dick asshole bitch rejection email I have gotten yet! its basically saying YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO READ and YOU ARE LESS THAN THE MINIMUM.  if i had thinner skin I would maybe take that personally hahahaha. i have received MUCH more polite rejection emails than that. usually saying thank you for your interest and don’t get discouraged.

i was driving around afterwards in this very unfamiliar part of town cuz i kinda like that “field trip” exploration aspect of exploring unknown areas sort of near my home, and i approached a roundabout with a bike path. Like an asshole I advanced into the bike path. I saw a guy coming on his bike so i said oh shit and backed up to try to get out of the bike path. i was not fast enough and he slammed on his bike brakes and almost fell off his bike. it was a light skinned black man who did not look thuggish. I backed out of the way and said SORRY IM SORRY out the window to him. then I very sheepishly got the hell out of there. he did not fall off the bike but it looked like he was having trouble with the brakes of the bike. i just got the hell out of there at that point, muttering SORRY SORRY SORRY. I might be a huhwhyte supremist, but I don’t want to cause blacks to be thrown from their bikes because I don’t know how to Share The Road. plus I am not great with New Roundabouts, which this was.

anyway I felt bad, he seemed like one of the decent blacks, and I didnt want to hurt him or damage his nice looking bike.

then i took my field trip into J00land, driving down a street that had a lot of J stuff: yeshiva, Joo senior living, jooish apartments, I even saw what looked like an orthodox jooish woman driving a crappy old minivan with a hebrew bumper sticker. I thought hmm I thought no joo would be caught dead driving such a shitty car, but I guess these orthodoxes arent as filthy rich. Also this area in general has a lot of blacks too, so I can’t imagine joos wanting to live around here. so there has been some jewish flight, but there is plenty of j00ish infrastructure here from a generation or two ago. synagogues and schools and such. including one bigass temple that has lotsa joos probably coming from a few miles north where the housing and pubskools are a lot nicer.

but yeah da joos moved out to nicer place where there is a fancy jooish community center. I should check that out some day.

the one thing I like about da j00s is they have a very strong community. stuff like joo camps for kids with Leadership Training programs, where the kids are basically shown how to Lead and Succeed in life. then they succeed, make lots of money, and give back to the JCC. you basically have a real presence of very rich and successful professionals who are also very socially active in the community centers, and with the youf and teens. to help them get into good Colleges, and to Design very very viable Career Paths, get good internships, get good jobs, build good resumes, and steer them the right way when they go astray. stop smoking that MJ yitzak, that is for the shvartzes. Here, get a summer job with cousin moishe and make 15 dollars an hour and he will write you a great recommendation letter to get into harvard business school hahahaha.  and you can drink manischevitz with him after work if you want and molest children at the JCC hahahahahaha these fookin abominable perverts hahaha.

i GUARANTEE there is some child molesting at these place, probably at a higher rate that what goes on in the catholic church for example.

in fact i recall hearing a news story a few years ago where a camp counselor at this fancy JCC was arrested for child pornography hehehehe. but i dont think it was of actual children at that JCC.

I am a SUCKER for children, I don’t think even the children of inferior races should be hurt in any way!

horry sheet, looks like millennial woes is speaking at npi 2016 in november in dc. that is, they are flying his neet ass over from scotland to come to the us, and if I went to NPI, I could probably meet him hahahaha. there will probably be a couple of TRS guys there too.

250 bucks to get in with “MILLENNIAL PRICE” 100 for people under 30. check your millennial privlege reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

well i hope this doesnt soften MW. it would be nice to meet him tho.

it would be just plain nice to go to NPI, its prob the biggest Alt Right Event. i mean yeah they let nonwhites in, and ramzpaul slobbers all over “khazar milkers” of ratface J’s, and jack donovan fooks men like women, and they band matthew heimbach because he’s anti-gay, and allow roosh to come in and patronize them hahahaha.

but they still have kmac and woesy and f roger devlin, having henrik and lana again, they are good people. makes you want to get your own tradwaifu and start your own pro-white media empire hahaha. well i dont trust lana entirely, i am not really jealous of henrik, she seems like she could get really annoying hahahaha. so he can have his beautiful blond wife to have babies with hahaha.

lotta inside baseball, either you know these people or you dont. i would like to see basicalyl everyone from TRS, and also andrew anglin and weev. not sure if richard spencer gets along with them. probably not. its hard to keep track of who hates who hahaha.

basically i want there to be a TRS conference hehehe. and or daily stormer.

it costs 900 dollars a month to keep the TRS server running ahahaha.

hehehe got up at 7 am so i am a little tired hahaha. but it is a beautiful day, 88 degrees, perfect temperature hehehe. sunny. want to get some sun, vitamin d, gives you better health and confidence.

unbelievable. i REALLY triggered the host of the fatherland with my 25 cent donation hahaha. he could not have taken that a worse way. he thinks it is either insulting trolling, or, assuming that i am in good faith, which I am, that uhhhh i shouldnt even bother hehehe. THANKS. that feel when you want to join a group but they dont want a loser like you as a member hahahaha. becuase i couldnt donate 20 dollars like the one guy. he was gonna mention first names but he didnt because his internet was not working, but it sounds like he might mention first names later in the show. good lord. this is embarrassing. and he might mention me next week when he finds out i upgraded to 50 cents, and then bitch about THAT being not good enough either hehehe.

i mean yeah I probably COULD afford more but i don’t feel comfortable giving more because uhhhh no income at the moment. maybe he is implying that if this is all can afford to give….then maybe I’d be better off just saving the money for myself hahaha.

WELL FINE I just cancelled my monthly donation because I cant handle the BANTZ of the successful winner normie white fathers. cmon guys i just wanted to be like you hahahaha.

well to their credit it was mainly jim who was really triggered, the other guys didnt seem to care.

maybe this is a sign saying LOSERS DONT DESERVE TO FIND A GOOD WIFE AND REPRODUCE.

what about reproduce with a bad wife, hahahaha.

obviously what we need is a neetcast, this is a slap in the face of neets who want to become normie husbands and fathers, but are having trouble winning that struggle. achieving the success you need to attract a decent wife, and have children. the healthy happy normie dads wont let me in their group, im too much of a neet loser for them, so maybe i better just try hanging out with other losers hahaha.

of course im overreacting, just as jim was overreacting, and even he probably doesnt really CARE, he’s got better things to worry about. but if he doesn’t want my money then FINE hahaha I cancelled it. I will still send anonymously with btc then.

this is the trouble when dealing with fascists hahaha. i like fascists but they do not like me because i do not represent EXCELLENCE. fascists dont like losers in other words. heh.

but yeah i am not THAT butthurt….but I really dont want jim to mention even my FIRST name, and then start harping and moaning again. fine you dont want the money, i wont give it to you then hahaha.

he’s a good guy, but he is the type to get rustled by such a stupid thing!

maybe this obsession with having children and being a father is just a temporary phase that I will grow out of in a few years hahahaha.

that would be kinda sad though. i dont want to be an antinatalist loser the rest of muh life!

i was already rejected brutally by the woman i wanted to have 14 children with! jeez JIM! cant you be NICER when rejecting my DNATION hahaha.

so i am the RIFFRAFF who they dont really want as a member of such an EXCLUSIVE movement.

there was a young man in a TRS helicopter shirt spotted on some local tv news footage at a trump rally in texas. a handsome, young, fit looking winner. exactly the type of guy TRS wants representing. I mean I agree as well. but I dont personally live up to that standard!

but again this is just bantz i suppose. there are some neets on trs. but probably not a lot listen to the fatherland!

so yeah in a few weeks i wont even care and no one will remember hehe. i just hope he doesnt mention my name in this episode or the next episode. even if he does, i will blush and feel horribly embarrassed or maybe fast forward to the end of him bitching and kvetching about it, then continue to enjoy the show.

i just wanted so show a token of support to something good, give a TIP rather than take something for FREE.

i mean there are successful people in the movement who can afford to give good dnations. not like super upper middle class, but solid middle middle class. engineers and scientists who make 70 grand a year and can afford to live in a white neighborhood and have white children and attract a decent wife hahaha.

but that definitely aint me babe!

took some nyquil.

did nice powerwalk and still 191 calories over for the day. i had a massive appetite all day and could have easily eaten more.  but thankfully right now I am not starving or even hungry really. because in order to lose weight you have to be at least somewhat hungry at all times hahahaha.

but yeah, women dont like losers, so if you get dumped, and you’re a loser, then arent you the cause of the dumping, because if you werent a loser, she would have like you and not dumped you? jeez. sucks being a loser and KNOWING it and feeling unable to really DO anything about it. you can’t live out the 14 words so you try to show support for groups who DO live out the 14 words and they don’t want your support because its too meager because youre too much of a loser. same reason you can’t live out the 14 words yourself because you can’t attract a wife….because you’re a loser hahahaha.

hehehehehe. oy vey those are some confidence-crushing negative thoughts of despair!!!!

june 18

mmmmaybe she was OUT OF MUH LEAGUE. because in my mind my league is liek the absolutely worst and “circus ugly” women…..although my standards are way too high. i mean my standards ARE too high and I should lower them.

for a while I thought I was lowering my standards by going for HER, because she was kinda in a lower league than the previous woman, because she had no real father, is borderline white trash, etc. but then i determined she was still a nice dateable gurl. the important thing was that she had not been with too many guys and was still kinda innocent and cautious.

now im thinking SHE was still out of my league and i have to lower the standards MORE. basically to someone who HAS been with a lot of guys, is closer to 30 than 25, is a single mother.

im like oh fook i really dont want to do that……but what the hell do I have to offer a woman anyway? not much. I am unsuccessful, old, weak, omega. I havent PROVEN myself. I dont DESERVE a good woman.

Mrs Wikernes says regarding women, at 20 they have their pick, at 30 they’re on sale, at 40 they have to take what they can get, and at 50 no-one wants you.

maybe i should aim for 40 year olds hahahaha.

but i hate lowering my standards. its kinda funny that i still have standards. i know logically I shouldnt have standards, because I’m not worth much on The Market. yet STILL I want an attractive woman, a 25 year old woman, a low-number woman, a woman with morals and a good family, etc.

interesting black metal / old school / thrash band i recently discovered because sammy duet was wearing a tshirt of them and I could see how he, and probably I, could like them. just old school japanese wild men who kept it pretty raw but also werent afraid to think outside of the box. and all the stuff is about evil and satan, bla bla bla.

catchy riffs, headbanging parts, but also lots of melodic sorrowful parts with weeping guitars. and this is from 1995, when stuff like this was truly underground.

so yeah thank u sammy for wearing that sabbat shirt hahaha. and there is also the english sabbat to make things more confusing, and they are probably more well known. maybe.

heh. when i find music or something that is Really Awesome and gives me Good Feels, I want to SHARE it with Someone Special, like That Woman. like oh lets cuddle and rock out to SABBAT together hahahaha yeah right. yeah obviously women who like metal are fooked up sluts you want to stay away from. i am speaking more generally, in terms of sharing your interests with somebody because you like them, and they indulge you because they like you too, and maybe come to a deeper understanding and appreciation of you. hopefully hahahaha. just simple honest good faith SHARING.

watching recent goathwore live vidyas doesnt hurt at all. re my ben haterade. ben is clearly a decent guy. they clearly put on a ridiculously good show. it sounds rawer and the vocals arent super loud. everyone is having a great time and it is very high energy. i should really go see them again. they tour enough. i always have a clear mental image of sammy, except now he has longer hair and more degenerate satan tattoos hahahaha. i would always make a point of standing near sammy to burn that image into my mind cuz he is muh riffmaster.

I do like that Ben seems charming and polite and gracious rather than a fooking dick or a little bitch. he luvs the fans and the fans luv him and they give it back and forth.

also i listened to “carving out the eyes of god”, their 4th album, which I never really listened to. it was kinda their big breakout (2009?) and I couldnt into it any more. my hate was at its peak hahaha. I hope I didnt think they sold out because now they were generally not as many blast beats. and now there are solos. and the first song was the catchiest song they had ever written and made them some actual money.

anyway i can see clearly now they didnt SELL OUT. i was just not personally ready to meet that album where the band was at. now I am. they clearly did not sell out! also the vocals are mixed very well, not too loud, he even seems to take my suggestions and not say this as much and to not have a constant stream of lyrics. in the live setting you see him doing air guitar to sammys riffs, AS YOU SHOULD hahahaha. respect the riff master.

also the production is very good, heavy yet clear. drums sound great. lets give this new drummer a CHANCE eh? give him some time to get more comfortable.

so yeah. carving is also a great album, 4 for 4 great albums at this point, im sorry i didnt listen to it in 2009 but i just wasnt ready. you can’t FORCE these things. so I dont feel TOO bad hahaha.  but I am glad and thankful that I came back to it 7 years later!

also sammy started playing solos on this album and maybe i saw that as “selling out”? I hope not. now its clearly a very natural thing to do. it adds to the song, never feels forced, keeps ben from singing too much, allows sammy to shine in a different way, adds to the atmosphere of the song, and seems like they were always there. so, good move on the solos, and I don’t think they ever stopped.

so yeah mainly i am thankful i moved out of my goathwore/ben hate stage and can be just a little more reasonable about it all, and get caught up on the 3 or 4 albums I missed.

but i still wish I could Share my fun discovery with somebody special, namely that woman hahaha. she was not a huge metal fan and I wouldnt want her to be, but she was open to some metal and I could probably get her to like a gw song, and that would be enough for me. like i say, if gurls like TOO MUCH metal, thats weird. but I like it when they like you enough to begin to appreciate your tastes and you gradually mold them without even realizing it hehehe. not that I ever really had that happen. but she used to be so nice and friendly to me, and think I was so smart and cool. that was great for the ego!

until I started liking her and turned into a weak omega, then she was disgusted by me.

come on! i was still the same person she once thought was so cool! why couldnt she see that! because women hate weakness, period, AS THEY SHOULD. so ALL women are like that? OF COURSHE! but it doesnt mean all women SHOULD be so MEAN about it hahaha.

women who were out of my league who didnt want to be more than just friend have been a lot nicer to me when they rejected me. in other words, not all women will always use The Silent Treatment.

and she wasnt using the silent treatment because she was bad or evil or WANTED to hurt me….she had a lot going on in her life and just didnt know how to deal with it all. unfortunately for me the silent treatment was EXTREMELY PAINFUL. For Me. hahahaha.

ok gonna officially try to give an honest listen to that sabbat album. i havent seen such stellar reviews in a long time hehe.

well i was listening to it when muh shitty earbuds died on the left side and then music became unlistenable.

DF FORUMS POST

Yikes, just seeing the phrase “call center” strikes fear into my heart! I too am part of that dubious club. Not anymore however, and hopefully never again! And I had pretty good callers compared to the average, I think. This was technical support for a large company. While thankfully my callers were usually pretty nice and understanding, thank goodness, I was still filled with anxiety and always felt a “knot of dread” in my stomach, because the technical issues we had to deal with and their “solutions” were so confusing and complicated, and you never knew if the next call was going to be simple or ridiculously complex.

It was like taking an exam in a hard math or science class, where all the problems were hard word problems, and you had the world’s worst “teacher”, and people were hovering over you demanding you to explain yourself every step of the way, and there are no lectures or teaching, only exams. It is a terribly stressful feeling to be so confused all the time. Someone is calling you and they are frustrated and anxious and you have to fix their problem……but you have NO IDEA what they’re talking about!!! “It’s my JOB to fix this?!?!?! I don’t even know what they’re talking about!!! Help me!!!!” there was the sense of drowning, as you madly thrashed in a violent sea. You just wanted a more experienced, confident person to swoop in and save you, and show you what to do.

We had some help from higher tiers, but it was all through a chat room where we had to attempt to describe technical issues we didn’t really understand, and then attempt to implement advice we didn’t understand, while trying to explain things we didn’t understand. It is nerve wracking to try to explain things you don’t understand. It’s your job to be the expert and fix things, but you know even LESS than the person CALLING you! They might have more luck trying to fix the problem themselves! But you just have to think THAT quickly, that you can attempt to fix something you have no mental concept of, for a person who has at least SOME mental concept of it! It was really like the blind leading the blind. The curtain was pulled back and the great and power Oz was revealed just to be a call center of chattering monkeys with computers and headsets, hahaha.

Yes there was an emphasis on metrics and handle times. Sometimes we would be DESPERATE to escalate because we CLEARLY had no idea what was going on, and were practically BEGGING for permission to escalate, just so someone with more experience could take a look at this, and not grasp at straws, or at least look more intelligent than us. It’s frustrating to be made to feel dumb when you sort of know you’re NOT dumb….or are you? I mean you have no idea how to do your job! Maybe you are dumb! (No, not you personally, I am just repeating the inner monologue I had every day!)

Some things that would have helped us are: REGULAR TRAINING. I would have loved to have an hour long training meeting once a week just to TALK to people, just to have experienced people make sure we understood current issues, kind of like a teacher teaching a class, discussing the material, before putting us on the phones. But taking a large group of people off the phones for an hour would be unthinkable, there are calls that need to be answered and handled ham-handedly!

Also having a rule like “if your call is going over 20 minutes and you are getting stuck, you have blanket permission to escalate, and don’t have to beg like a peasant and struggle for an hour looking like an imbecile”, that would be good….

Or having level 2 and 3 people get some MANDATORY time on the phones each week, so they can stay humble.

Or have real flesh and blood people walk around and help people who need help, rather than reduce this to a darn chat room. (They used to have flesh and blood people, but of course those were cut, to cut costs, and we switched to the stupid chat room.)

Oh dear I get flashbacks just thinking of the stupid headset, and the stupid red bubble that would pop up when too many calls were holding in the queue: “QUEUE HAS EXCEEDED ITS MAXIMUM SERVICE LEVEL”

My place was above average in terms of nice callers, and nice coworkers, and nice managers, and I managed to survive much longer than I thought I would (1 year, hehehe), and started developing actual knowledge and confidence and competence…..but I also worked with my friend who I had fallen in love with (another sob story, hahaha) and the stress of that situation and the general stress of the job combined and I just snapped and broke down. I quit the job but asked for a “leave of absence to take care of personal issues”….and then I never went back, and I don’t think I COULD go back to ANY call center, hahaha.

It took me forever to get over the stupid painful drama with the female friend, and it has taken even longer to find a new job. Funny thing is, I have tons of recruiters contacting me offering jobs in call centers. My point here is, a call center job might be the easiest job in the world to get, and is somewhat attractive with decent wage. And they will hire just about anybody with a pulse. Which I think is weird, because you have to be QUICK and SMART and SHARP in order not to sink when they throw you in the deep end. And it seems like it would not be cost effective to hire 20 new people when you KNOW that 10 of them are not gonna make it. How is this more cost-effective than simply investing more money in TRAINING?

hehehe, I would get frustrated even just trying to think of explanations from things from a cost perspective. What the hell is the management THINKING? I would think. Doesn’t it cost you MORE in the long run to put a band-aid on issues and give callers the runaround? Won’t they just call back AGAIN later? Why NOT spend a little more time to solve issues at their root?

And just the fact that you NEVER knew what the next call was going to hold, and you could NEVER take a break from that ringing phone.

The Quality Team “checking in” on you when your call went over x minutes, or when you have been in “after call mode” too long.

Our place would offer overtime hours but I would always AVOID it because I thought “I would not answer phones for another hour even if you paid me $XY dollars an hour.”

Many times I thought I would love to take a 30, 40% pay cut just for some time off the phones. Something less stressful. Let me clean the world’s filthiest toilets for a couple hours. But that was just wishful thinking, hahaha.

Anyway I am glad to be out of that environment but your post brought me back down memory lane, hahahaha.

I would not fault you at all for resigning from the job. I would get so stressed out, I could not eat, could not get to sleep thinking about all the crazy stuff that might happen tomorrow, have dreams about the job, wake up in the middle of the night with your mind racing about crazy nonsensical technical things that could happen, have stomach aches and nausea before going in, etc etc.

You have to have NERVES OF STEEL to do well in a call center over the long-term. As soon as I started having some problems in my personal life, the whole house of cards collapsed. I couldn’t deal with my job, I couldn’t deal with my life, I couldn’t deal with anything, I just broke down like a helpless baby.

And you SO calling you “lazy”, wow I would be upset about that! Try not to let that affect you. I know easier said than done. Have they ever worked in a call center before? I believe it’s impossible to understand unless you’ve been in that seat, worn that headset, taken inbound calls for 8+ hours a day, every day, every week, every month. Taking CALLS. Good Lord hahaha. Never again!!!!!!!!!!

Bless all the people who can do this and haven’t gone completely insane yet and can still manage to keep it together!!!!!

OK rant over. But this is a GREAT topic for a rant!!!!

Anyone other lost souls of call center purgatory/hell out there have some rants to share, please do!

And OP please keep us updated on things!!!!

END POST

that was my post i mean hahaha. OP was worried sick about their call center job.

 

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