SERIOUS ISSUES DESERVE SERIOUS REFLECTION

may 13

yeah buddy. had nyquil last night, went to bed at 9 pm hahaha.

ultimately i think MJ is MUCCHHHHH better than nyquil for sleeping. the tolerance with nyquil starts IMMEDIATELY and so does the dependence, meaning, the first night without nyquil….you can’t sleep and want to tak nyquil. but if you did, you’d have to take a lot more than you did last night. its so much easier and simpler to just sm0ke MJ hahaha.

maybe theres really more transgenders than we know. maybe 50% of people are trans but they are just too scared to Come Out. well I can tell you I am not transgender hahaha. I dont really care about being super masculine, and that has indeed hurt me significantly as a man…..but I still dont want to be a woman at ALL.

also I’m not supper F4GGY. really I just seem like a sensitive, Nice, shy Straight Man, nothing more, nothing less. not flamingly feminine. i appreciate masculinity and being a man. i appreciate guns and weight lifting and testosterone and toughness and stoicism and logic and honor. these are serious man things. nontoxic masculinity hahaha.

applied for typist clerk 3 for county dept. the county always has perfect jobs for me. entry level GED shit, full time, 25-30 grand a year.

applied for that one. applied for 9 similar jobs with the county, no response on any of them. maybe my materials are missing that special it factor. I have stopped sending them txt files and started with doc files. including linkedin profile. started including 1 letter of recommendation. what the fook do they want.

someone on a nile video remarked that karl sanders looks kinda like TRUMPENFUHRER. that was hilarious and kind of true. that makes me like both guys more hahaha.  some metal idiot responded they should replace trump with sanders. karl not bernie hahahahahaha. real clever, guy.

but i also find it nice that karl sanders is 50+ years old and he is still making raging death metal. before nile he played in a “thrash” band, and the first nile demo in 1994 was not br00tal at all. so nile became MORE br00tal and extreme than they were at the beginning. and karl is 52 years old and has those nice deep death metal vocals. and he still looks good! he does not look 52 years old.

but yeah I like how they blatantly have tons of fun at their live shows rather than trying to look all tough and grim. many years later and many of the exact same albums later hahahaha karl is grinning ear to ear and knows that he is blessed hahaha. however I do hope he is a good husband and father, which is tough when you are away from home more often than not. very tough.

and i do like how he looks like a big technically fat potato. i mean at his age he really should try to lose a little weight hahaha. but he still looks happy and healthy and he’s not grossly obese or anything. he’s just… a little fat. he certainly has the charisma and personality to pull an attractive woman however.

well its nice to have a mancrush. nice to have a womancrush too hahahaha.

for me it helps a lot in approaching niles music to imagine big jolly karl sanders playing it. without that, the music sounds kind of ridiculous just like the negative reviews so succinctly put it. riff cramming, style over substance, obnoxious, boring, hahahaha.

also the guy is white as hell. he is so white he is almost albino and his hair remains ridiculously blond in his old age.

just a great guy. well, i hope he is. i hope he’s not a degen alcoholic or something. plus constant touring is not really the greatest lifestyle. he certainly has a NEAR OCCASION to sin with sluts and drugs. hopefully he doesnt.

might try their 2015 album, hear it is a little rawer? less click clacky?  i dunno. but it would be worth listening to whilst doing my 2.5 mile jog eh?

great entry to my what to say in interview file:::

may 13 2016

When you go to mechanic, its because you don’t have the knowledge, skills, and tools to diagnose, understand, and fix the problem with your car. you trust that you are bringing your car to skilled, trained professionals who know what they are doing. Now imaging you were hired by that mechanic into their job. Now the curtain is lifted and the great and powerful oz is revealed to be no different that you. The expert is no different from the customer.

it would be difficult to get away with this in the auto repair industry, although we might see some parallels in tire shops and oil change shops and other low-level price-point service shops which don’t require ASE-certified mechanics.

we can easily imagine the customer’s perspective here, of using a mechanic who doesn’t seem to know what they were doing. You would be frustrated at the company and rightfully want to speak to a manager. You would lose faith in the company. You would wonder, rightfully, what’s the difference between this and just doing it myself? I am paying for expertise and skilled labor. If I wanted unskilled, amateur service…..I’d try to fix my car myself.

It’s harder to put yourself in the shoes of the mechanic in that situation. But when you are a new employee being thrown in to the deep end, that is what it feels like. You feel like you simply don’t have the knowledge and skills to do what your customers are asking you to do. You feel in over your head and totally unprepared and unprofessional.

In this case you need to stay calm and teach yourself as much as possible, and sacrifice your personal time to get up to speed, power through the learning curve, hit the ground running, and be able to provide real value and skill for your customers and your company.

it also helps to have experienced colleagues who can sign off on your work and advise you once in a while…..however you must not use them as a crutch, because they will not always be there for you. you have to take initiative and learn your job inside and out, so you can work independently and not have your hand held. you have to figure out solutions on your own and have an inquisitive, curious nature to find out the answers to your question. This may involve reading, research and study outside of your shift. You have to be willing to do the reps in order to gain the muscle. You have to be willing to do the HOMEWORK in order to do well on the EXAMS.

END///////

pretty sweet eh.

I was getting the oil change and thinking, why dont I just do this myself. you think some 18 year old Lube Tech making 10 DAH knows any more than I do? they probably just threw him out there on his first day and said ok start changing oil. and he had no more knowledge or experience than I have.

but then the mechanic came in and said come out here i wanna show you something, ok heres an impact bubble on this tire which is not on the other tires. he’s some corrosion on the battery terminal which you can scrub out with some coca cola. a lotta places might not tell you this stuff, but I believe that honestly isn’t just the best policy…..ITS THE ONLY POLICY. and he looked deadly serious. he is either the most evil crooked bullshitter on the face of the earth, or, he was just as serious and principled as I am. “I agree completely” I told him, and thanked him for his transparency. because i do agree. that is the same way I would try to do my job. I dont want to bullshit people, I dont want to hide shit. I want to share knowledge and make sure everyone is on the same page.

this gave me confidence and faith in that mechanic, and in the business as a whole. I wouldnt want to patronize a business that had untrained kids doing stuff. I will pay more to get competent, trained technicians.

OTHERWISE I WOULD JUST DO IT MYSELF.

This was the feeling I got every day in my job: “I have no clue, why are you asking me? oh wait. its my JOB to fix this. well I dont know any more than this caller. they MIGHT AS WELL TRY FIXING IT THEMSELVES. I don’t have any special knowledge or training that they do. they have used the program more than I do. I don’t even KNOW what theyre talking about, how am I supposed to FIX this?”

i did not like that feeling hahahahaha. at all.

these people wanted help, and i wanted to help them, and helping them was  TECHNICALLY my job, but I didnt know how to help them, and I couldnt get great help on how to help them, meaning often peopel didnt really get helped. but as long as everything was documented and metrics were met, that’s all that mattered.

my female friend didnt want to give me moral support and she was not able to give me technical support. her response was to laugh sheepishly with her cute little laugh and say idk just go with the flow dont worry so much.

so I looked elsewhere for moral support and technical support and found some very competent smart men I felt comfortable Talking Shop with. thank GOD for them! like me, they wanted to really fix problems and really know how to fix shit and help people. the buck stops here. i am the same way. i will go all out to help people and i dont like when the company stands in the way of that.  time is money goy tick tock. youve been on this call for 21 minutes, is everything all right?

and sometimes you WANT to escalate it but are getting pushback…..and other times you WANT to figure it out but the problem is just that weird.  either way it results in a long call which will get you noticed by Quality.

and then the whole department was shut down to Cut Costs and DOZENS of GREAT people are permanently out of a job and the tier 1 operations will likely be outsourced to the same vendor they were already bringing in………(but still americans thank god, just even worse trained than we were)…..and the company employees who call in for service will NEVER KNOW. Well, unless an old school tech TELLS them: you know they closed a center so those good people you got last year? theyre all gone, never to come back. if you call in with any issue, the tier 1 person you speak to WILL be a third party vendor contractor. 100% chance, not just a 70% chance hahahaha.

why not outsource everything? its like the EMR tech support company who outsourced their hiring to the temp agency because they couldnt “get good enough people on their own”. the temp agency who wanted to hire me in for 17 bucks an hour, at the very poorly reviewed call center, where the very few people who had been around for 2 years, were actually started in at 12.50 and havent gotten any raises, and are understandably upset at the new people who make much more.

this is kinda weird, usually its the other way around. keep cutting and cutting the wages for new hires, not RAISING them.

i dunno. if i had more confidence, like SHE does, then I woulda had a much easier time saying yes to that job. I wish I had as much confidence as her hahaha or any normie.

goddam cvnt!!! how can she be so irreplaceable to me but i am so replaceable to her! same thing with the other cvnts! looks like they are more replaceable than I thought they were! just like every other cvnt hahahaha. but really. anyone that knows and has ever appreciates me, KNOWS that I cannot be replaced. only women have ever treated me like that hahaha.

heh. maybe she realizes that I am irreplaceable….. but she still wants to be done with me anyway.

Just like how I appreciate that all the friends I used to have that I drifted away from, I knew they were irreplaceable too.

so they weren’t important enough for me to care?

well that sounds terrible. well its A LOT DIFFERENT when you drift apart vs something like this.

so….either i did something so abonimably obscene and unforgivable that me begging im sorry im sorry please forgive me please respond would get me nothign……… or she was scared and overwhlemed and ran away forever like a scared animawish she’d come to her senses after some time has passes however. l. which sounds more plausible.

i just wish she would have come back AFTER she was done being scared and overwhelmed, and jsut sent me a message trying to do the right thing. like wait a month, even two months, and take 5 minutes to shoot off an email saying Im sorry for running away, i just wanted to say sorry and have a good life, we had a good friendship and i understand if you got feelings for me, i guess it just happens sometimes. when i am pretty, AND nice, AND not a whore hahahahaha.

i mean really. she should have guys falling in luv with her left and right. she is pretty, AND young, AND really nice, AND not a whore. every guy she meets should be falling in luv with her. maybe they do and she is just too oblivious. or maybe she just tries really hard to ignore and avoid it hahahaha.

i mean the only men who wouldnt like her, are the ones who deliberately like Huge Sluts. Really Slutty and Bitchy gurls. some guys do. they don’t like nice sweet gurls. and they dont like gurls who dont dress or act like sluts. they wouldnt like her then.

but i am so not one of those guys. I like nice sweet gurls, and who dont dress or act like sluts. no surprise that I fell in luv with her then.

well I have to go to the fat club here and burn 1000 calkories.

 

 

 

Advertisements