today i learned to never put bananas in the freezer to make them last longer. and then take a banana out and put it in the fridge overnight to “defrost” it, and it should be Good 2 Go the next day. NO IT WILL NOT. it will have brown skin and the banana inside will be TOTAL MUSH.
you can keep bananas in the fridge but never put them in the freezer ever.
when you have secs or even just cuddle with someone, you start to feel a CLOSENESS with them. IMHO this is Nature TELLING you something, and it is BAD to ignore it. say, oh, thats just an ARCHAIC ARTIFACT our brains have not evolved out of YET, but we SHOULD, because we dont live in caves any more, and casual sex is fun! so when you get feelings from casual sex, just be logical, say well i dont even KNOW this person, and realize you have to reprogram your brain so that it gets used to casual sex. our brains didnt evolve for casual sex….YET, but we can push them that way!
yeah i dont think we CAN or SHOULD.
i mean casual sex is like the root cause of sluts. because sluts think they can have secs with whomever, whenever, and its all just fun. if thats not CASUAL secs i dont know what is!
so yeah i am an (anti) CASUAL SECS CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!!
well i had my own bad habits too. so maybe deserve no better than a reformed slut. yeah i guess i could lower muh standards and live with that hahaha. so long as she was TRULY reformed!!!! and said yes i am honestly ashamed of what i did, heres why its wrong, and i will never go back to that way of life again!
because i feel the same way about my degeneracy. yeah it was a phase, but it was a BAD phase and im ashamed of it and never want to go back to it! and i dont think it was NECESSARY! i wish i had NEVER gone through it! i regret it! i didnt learn anythign or become a better person because of it. i wish i had avoided it altogether.
and so i think a truly reformed and rehabilitated slut will feel the same way about her slut period. wishes she had NEVER BEEN a slut, just like i wish i had NEVER BEEN a degen.
i forgot that voat is a thing, it looks and works like reddit but is less degen and antimale and antiwhite and sjw-y. better smarter people in other words. i THINK. it doesnt have nearly as many users but i am CAUTIOUSLY optimistic it will survive. basically a reddit alternative to smart elite 115 IQ people like us who cringe in disgust at reddit hahahaha.
edit: since it is such a small community, there are not a lot of comments, and this damn degen polyamorist woman keeps showing up more than i would like with her degenerate point of view. and is not getting downvoted into oblivion like she should be hahahaha. so this particular subverse may be too tolerant of degeneracy.
guy in a rel with a depressed gf who refuses to get help
oh well why doesnt he just dump her because its never worth working on anything with someone.
that or its his fault she is derpressed and he needs to step his game up and work harder.
no they advise that she needs to get into counseling, he will probably need to make the appointment for her to get her started, and that if she refuses to cooperate, thats a legit dealbreaker.
heh. i am so CUCKED that if a gurl shows interest in other guys, i will say, ok, go hang out with him, go fook him, just make sure you make him wear a condo, and PLZ DONT DUMP ME. im not thrilled with you being with other guys but i know i dont OWN you and if this is what you need to do to make you happy and not dump me…..
and then get dumped anyway for NOT BEING THRILLED about their Polyamory hahahahahaha. i have to let them fook other people AND i have to be HAPPY about it. SORRY I cant see myself EVER being THAT cucked. thank GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
but yeah. i honestly thought she cared for me more. than i MEANT more to her, that i was more IMPORTANT in her life, that she could NEVER do something this bad to somebody that IMPORTANT to her.
and i KNOW i USED to be IMPORTANT to her because we were friends for a damn long time, and she told me i was important to her, and i believed it, and felt it!!!!! and we BOTH knew we were going through a rough patch here and probably needed to end……… but that still doesnt explain how a person just LOSES VALUE to you. you might not love or like them any more but at least recognize their VALUE as a person. their WORTH. you might feel differently about them but they’re not WORTH any less. and she treated me like i was WORTHLESS. and i was mind blown by, how can i be worth a LOT to her one year, then WORTHLESS to her no more than 1 year later???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
i just wish she hadn’t treated me like i was SO WORTHLESS when she dumped me. she could have dumped me without treating me as WORTHLESS.
when someone is WORTH a LOT to you, and you are worth NOTHING to them. and you thought you were worth a lot more to them. because you knew them for YEARS and were friends for a long time. damn.
SHE BETRAYED ME A LOT MORE THAN I BETRAYED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I SEEK people that are BAD for me? people that are immature and crazy and that will hurt me?
i dont think so, because the previous woman, woman2012, woman….5 i think? was mature and well adjusted and dumped me in a good way. she was a good choice for me.
also this other gurl that i liked and would have dated and had a crush on her in like 2006-7. but i had no chance because she moved to a diff state soon after i met her. we just hung out a couple times and got along real well and she was real nice to me and she was cute and nonslutty and my type of girl. plus i think she would have been mature enough to dump me in a respectful way hahahahaha.
i took her out of the numbered women lineup simply because we were never THAT close. we could have been though. there was GREAT potential.
i also took out the woman i “liked” directly after her, who was a crazy disgusting mudshark whore who was an great example of me being attracted to the Wrong people sometimes.
but woman2015, i didnt think she was the WRONG person. i thought she was a RIGHT person. she didnt seem to be CRAZY and FOOKED UP. Sure she had some daddy issues but they didnt turn her into a crazy slut. i thought she was pretty uncrazy. but what she did here drove ME fooking crazy. i honestly did not see this coming. i did not expect this out of her. she wasnt a bipolar borderline slut. she seemed STABLE. damn.
well i had never had this done to me before. i had no idea it would hurt so bad. and i had no idea SHE would do it to me.
well thing is i think i still do mean something to her, shes just TOO SCARED to do the right thing. she is the type to get scared and run away all the time. unless the shit is unavoidable. like she is totally in luv with someone, or lives with someone, etc.
like if i lived with her, it would be physically impossible for her to do this to me.
well, i worked with her every day, youd think that would be bad enough. youd THINK.
she didnt think this through. but when do women ever think things through? and how can the world exist when all women just dont think? BECAUSE MEN DO THEIR THINKING FOR THEM. Women face no consequences for their own bad choices, men shoulder those responsibilities too hahahah . well except if a woman has a bastard baby with a deadbeat. in some of those cases, women do actually face consewuences for bad decisions.
well except when it comes to like voting, in that case, our antiwhite enemies, do their thinking for them. yes shiksas vote for abortion and more gibs 4 single mothers hahahaha. you are a stronk independent woman dont need no man.
i am just pissed that she faces NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THIS. she doesnt feel bad, she doesnt know she did anything wrong, she still thinks I am a piece of shit and i deserved it, and she did something AWFUL, and has NO CLUE, and will probably do something like this AGAIN to some other poor sap and STILL not face consequences for it.
well life isnt fair. sometimes people DONT face consequences for doing horrible things.
heh. i should stop smoking cigarets altogether but i really dont smoke that many, less than half a pack a week atm. so today i go out to my fav tobacco store and it is closed due to fire damage. havent been there in months. funny thing is there is an Abortionist in the same plaza about 3 doors down and they were still open. but the place right next door to it was not. hehehehe. well thank magic black science man the babykiller is still open hahahahahahahahaha. i then went to another tobacco shop and the arab employees were talkign really loud in arabic hahahaha.
also i am CERTAIN the southeast asian community ie vietnamese, thai, laos, cambodians etc have been steadily increasing in our area, probably in all areas. are they better or worse than chinese? probably worse hahahaha.
heheheh woman writes in complaining about infidelity or wandering eye from man. response: dump the pig!
man writes in about woman wanting to not be exclusive. response: shame on you! you dont own her! she can do what she wants with her hot body! dont try to control her you abusive pig!
oh wow reddit actually gives good advice. young man’s gf cheat on him, lies to him, leaves him for other man, now she contacts him and wants to be Just Friends. should he accept! and reddit tells him NO. FOOK THAT BITCH. when i was expecting reddit to say of courshe! whats wrong with wanting to be friends? arent you MATURE enough to be friends? she could be a wonderful friend! and when did she ever agree to an exclusive rel? it wasnt actually cheating in the first place! and other such DEGENERATE “advice.” but reddit actually said something reasonable here hahahaha.
has a great response in there:
YourWebcamIsOn 5 points 22 hours ago
look, dude. she’s cheated before and now she wants to use her looks to get attention from men. oh yes, she just wants their money, riiiiiiight. This slippery slope couldn’t get any slicker if you turned it vertical and coated it in Teflon doused with Astroglide.
Next thing you’ll hear from her is “well, you didn’t give me enough attention and you made me feel bad about trying to get free drinks, so I went to the bar and when this cute guy offered me a drink, then another and another I just couldn’t say no and then we had sex in the bathroom and it all just happened so fast and I didn’t mean to, but this is your fault…”
hahahahaha. well memed. anyway.
so just think about it. if i posted my shit on a forum what would they say? theyd say exactly what id expect them to say. thought exercise. that it was kinda shitty for her to shut me down in that way. but shitty things happen, life isnt fair, people hurt other people, and just try to learn from this, know that all women arent like that, dont let it make you hate all women, and move on, dont waste your time with somebody who has such little respect for you. the end.
they might disagree on whether i NEEDED to have a talk with them. well, you were giving her hints, she was picking them up, and avoiding you like the plague. that means she wasnt into you and didnt want to talk about it. yeah communication is good but that was her form of communication. which kinda sucks but theres nothing you can do about it. should have just started distancing yourself from her. you didnt really NEED to blurt it out, she was already telling you the answer, and even if you ARE autistic, it looks like you read her signals correctly.
noooo this one says i have an iq of 101 holy shit and this covers more than pattern recognition
this is terrible. i put a lot of importance on intelligence and iq and figured it was one of the only skills i had. and to find out i am COMPLETELY AVERAGE is pretty disappointing. and i KNOW i USED to be smarter when i was young! but i lost at LEAST 10% of my intelligence through my degen lifestyle of MJ and alcohol and emotional bullshit!!!!!!
AT LEAST 10%!!!!!!!!!!
i had to be at LEAST 120 or 125 when i was young!
I coulda been a phd! i coulda been an stemgineer hahahaha now i cant be anything cuz i r 2 dumm.
how the fook can i be 101! i was disappointed with 115 and wanted to take another bullshit free online iq test to get a higher score! not a LOWER one! not one that is PERFECTLY AVERAGE!
muh intelligent brain was THE ONLY THING I HAD TO OUTCOMPETE OTHERS! and the idea that i am AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE is just very heartbreaking and discouraging hahahaha.
like fooook. this was ALL I HAD. im below average everywhere else: work ethic, charisma, outgoingness. but AT LEAST i am SUPER smart. and to think i may not be super smart at ALL.
well at least i am not BELOW AVERAGE for whites hahahahahaha.
also im sure a lot of it i did to myself with MJ and alcohol before age 25. shit.
shit. i mean i know i did a stupid major in college but i didnt think you could get INTO the college i did with a lousy 101 iq!!!!! although that college thought iq b racis n sheeeeit. and back then i probably had an iq well over 101 hhahaha.
common courtesy. if someone begs you for mercy, try to show them a little more mercy. unless they raepd and killed your family. NOT if they gradually came to get feelings for you after being friends for a while jeez.
what do white men with 101 IQ do with their lives? well they probably shouldnt go to college and they certainly couldnt be doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists, professors. but they could sure go to trade school and with hard work, rise to the top there! become a master electrician or plumber and own their own business ultimately and make well over 150k a year! provided they dont get sidetracked with drugs or alcohol or gambling or alimony or other shit.
could they go to college and get a business degree? probably! could they use it to actually make 40k a year? MAYBE. it would help alot if they had good social skills, charisma, game.
i thought that it was the TRADEOFF for me having bad social skills and bad game, that i then had EXTRAORDIARY intelligence. not ORDINARY intelligence!!!!!
you cant be socially awkward AND Just Plain Average intelligence!!!!!! that is a recipe for total failure if i ever heard of one! maybe thats why i am indeed a total failure hahahaha.
i mean you dont need higher than a 101 IQ to do perfectly fine in life: get a decent job, get a decent wife, 3 or more kids.
fook. you just think that if you’re DUMBER, then you are also more mentally/emotionally stable/well adjusted. its a sign of intelligence to be CRAZY in other words.
but maybe its NOT hahahahah. to be dumb AND crazy hahaha. what a shit sandwich.
heh. an ounce of cereal has more calories than an ounce of nonlean (80/20) ground beef.
i am on a Beef Diet right now. just eat straight up beef. with minimal bread or grains. basically stuff as much beef as humanly possible into a tortilla.
im just sick of bitches dumping ME, and me getting my heart broke, and getting SET BACK with despair and failure and shit, and they just keep getting ahead in life, and feel no remorse hahahaha.
well the other bitches felt some remorse so good for them. but they still became successful and respected hahaha.
this one was the WORST. and see i thought she was the BEST. she was BETTER than any woman i had ever met, otherwise we wouldnt get along so well and become such good friends.
and then she went and did the WORST thing to me any woman has ever done, become essentially the WORST woman i ever met. and i never saw it coming. there were no real red flags. there were yellow flags that i investigated and gave the all clear. there was nothing indicating she would just throw a person away like this, i had never known her to do it before. foooooooook.
well at least then i cant really blame myself for “I SHOULDA SEEN IT COMING A MILE AWAY.” Nope. no way I COULD have.
so if anything that reflects even MORE poorly on her. like way to really spring this on this guy. not like i was SPRINGING my feelings on her. i told her in december “you are really important to me, and I hope we can hang out more and become even closer friends in 2015 if you are willing.” hehehehe pretty dead giveaway amirite? that is like the clearest signal there ever was.
OBVIOUSLY i am hung up on this. it takes time to get over hardcore shit.
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW, I ONLY HAVE A 101 IQ. I am not as smart as i thought i was, and that was the ONLY thing i had any confidence in hahhahahaha.
i am SO fooking neurotic and crazy that youd think i would HAVE to be J00ish. its unfortunate. thing is, even if i were 1/8 J’ish, i’m still as neurotic as a FULL BLOWN J. besides, I’m more than likely no more than 1/16 J’ish, and even thats a high estimate, i am probably 99.9999999% white. i am more likely to have……i dunno. a black? a turk/saracen? somewhere in there. i mean i come from really good stock. thats why its extra super disappointing i turned out the way i did hahahahaha.
ok time to go to the fatclub and look at promiscuous 20 year old girls with skintight pants and dead souls hahahahahaha. and half of them are not white enough for me hahahahaha. arabs and turks. semites and saracens hahahaha.
heh i keep forgetting that im just an average idiot. well i WAS smart when i was 18 i can say!
ok when you do incline on the treadmill you have to NOT hold on to the rail or else it negates it somehow. i have a bad habit of holding onto the rail .
shit. maybe i was so confused at my job simply because i WASNT THAT SMART and i couldnt figure out the god damn problems because i didnt have the BRAINPOWER.
but i did top 10% in high school, i got admitted to a pretty selective college, people thought i was pretty smart, I thought i was pretty smart, basically my smart brain was the ONLY advantage i had in this world! how could I be just average 101 iq! average normies usually arent all crazy and awkward and creepy and autistic and spergy and weird. their social skills and people skills and emotional stability make up for their lack of brilliant intelligence.
well the reasonable thing to say is DONT TRUST FREE ONLINE IQ TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i have seen my iq estimated at 101, 115, and around 130. wtf. 130 estimate comes from my actual ACT score. but should i trust that conversion process which estimates your IQ from you ACT score???!?!?!?!
also i got an A or an A+ in calculus 2. and i also got A’s in computer programming 2. i think that should count for something! this was AFTER i destroyed my mind with drinking and MJ!
shit. she was just being a BASIC BITCH to me, showing me none of the goodwill i thought our relationship entitled both of us to. she was just a basic bitch treating me like a basic beta orbiter. completely disregarding that we were real people who knew each other for YEARS.
that feel when someone who USED to like hanging out with you, now doesnt want to hang out with you at ALL, avoids you like the PLAGUE. it is not a confidence builder hahahaha. now they invite other cooler people to things they would have invited you to in the past, that they dont even tell you about now. it just hurts to be pushed out of somebodys life, to be DOWNGRADED, and ultimately disposed of. how is that SO HARD for the jury of women in muh head to UNDERSTAND hahahaha.
maybe super promiscuous women would be better at dumping men in a good way, because they have been with SO MANY men. so they know the right way to dump them hahahaha. so maybe i should aim for promiscuous women hahahaha an avoid nonpromiscuous women hahahahaa.
ive never had a woman get so UPSET with me prior to the end of the rel. usually the woman has enough sense to realize that ending the rel will hurt me and upset ME, so they do it gently. here, she was mad and cold and distant for months leading up to the end. so she thinks she doesnt owe it to be nice to me when dumping me, because i was a horrible piece of shit who MADE her do this.
and i hate people getting upset at me when i am not trying to upset them.
” After a long talk she tells me that she assumed I knew that we had broken up months ago and were just living together as roommates. ”
SHE BLAMES HIM FOR NOT KNOWING THEY WERE “BROKEN UP” EVEN THOUGH SHE NEVER TOLD HIM THEY WERE BROKEN UP, SHE JUST EXPECTED HIM TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE DONE. YET STILL LIVING TOGETHER. hehehehehe. she expected him to know that they were finished. even though she NEVER TOLD HIM i wannt break up with you. wtffffffffffffffffffffff.
guy wants closure, is despairing after about a year, just cant get over it, she is now quickly engaged to some new guy.
hahahaha now this guy writes a BOOK how CREEPY guys that are this CREEPY deserve to be alone their entire lives and deserve to be dumped!
gf of 16 years just wants to walk out with no explanation, no effort, reddit says that sucks but just let the bitch walk, you deserve better, good advice reddit hahahaha
oh its his fault because he wasnt EXCITING or FUN enough because he was being the Support. but he wasnt being fun, exciting, or ambitious on himself. of COURSE she got bored and wants to leave him. who wants to be SUPPORTED hahahaha.
idiot nerd slut is confused because super awkward beta nerd doesnt know how to make secscual moves on the FIRST DATE and she asks if shes friendzoned. these young women think its WEIRD to not get physical on the FIRST DATE. never even THINK the guy might a. be awkward b. not like SLUTS who PUT OUT on the first date hahahaha
Don’t make a priority of someone who makes you an option.
well thats a good lesson hahahahaha. and for her I WASNT EVEN AN OPTION ANY MORE.
i didnt realize that though. i didnt realize how close she was to being 100% done with the whole thing. i thought she still had SOME care for me as a person. because WHO WOULDNT? ive NEVER wanted to just be DONE with somebody without considering their feelings!
he views it as silent treatment from her, she views it as cooling off period.
it only lasts for a few hours. its a cooling off period. silent treatment is when they AVOID or IGNORE you and talking to you for DAYS and might continue to do so FOREVER.
guy is starting to get jealous because his longterm gf is texting with a male friend which borders on “an emotional affair”. some decent noncuck advice from reddit. ie, this isnt right, you shouldnt have to put up with this….not SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS! MONOGAMY IS MISOGYNY!!!! HOW COULD YOU EXPECT SOMEONE TO HAVE SECS WITH ONLY YOU THE REST OF THEIR LIFE?! HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT A MONOGAMOUS SPECIES!
basically ive found that ((((REDDIT)))) is not as degen and antimale as i thought they were, in terms of defending good men in the face of evil unfaithful women hahahaha.
young collegeboi meets a Gr8 Gurl, everything is going great, he starts getting feelings….and she says NOPE just not ready for a rel right now see ya. this happens all the time. well at least they didnt have SECS because most gurls would have had SECS in this time becuase its just FUN.
like this guy gives the silent treatment for days and sounds like a real asshole hahahaha.
well i GUESS im glad i am not alone in shit getting COMPLICATED. this guy feel in love with his female friend, who just had a bad breakup with her shitty boyfraind, they broke up 10 times before, and during a recent breakup, the OP and his female friend “FOOLED AROUND” whether that means secs or just making out. anyway now hes in luv with her, shes probably for real done with the dbag bf, the OP is honest with her about his feelings, like yeah i like you, but it doesnt look hopeful. well i am sure she is confused right now too. but i would not like her to immeidately start fooking some other guy, without giving her friend OP a CHANCE. cuz they already get along, he gets along with her mom, and he would treat her right.
heh. i created a reddit account just to upvote and save this one.
apparently a good move is to ask the girl to hang out…….but this time as an official date. heh. i dont know how you do that, when previously you have hung out As Friends. then as you start liking her, you get more NErvous abotu hanging out. Then what do you say….wanna hang out…..but this time as a Date?
heh. i was trying to do this anyway and she just avoided the shit out of it. i said heavily suggestive shit like “i wanna take you out to a fancy restaurant, im buying 🙂 ” and shit like that. rather than well lets hang out and go to dinner at normie platonic restaurant hahahaha. she had to have gotten the hint, and her putting it off was her way of saying NO. i didnt read it that way at the time though. i thought….well shes not saying NO! so in a little bit of TIME she WILL be ready and willing!
” People are endlessly fickle. The test of whether somebody really is interested in you is if they want to spend actual real time with you, texting is dangerous in my opinion for tending to create false intimacy. Be straight with her, tell her you want to meet up and spend time together on a date at a specific time. If she does not go for it I think you need to back off on the heavy texting because it is creating false hope. ”
good advice there. i think i was vulnerable to that cuz we were texting a lot but not hanging out at all, and the TEXTING gave me false hope.
its amazing how people can do things like text you every day, have SECS with you, yet they feel nothing for you. basically doing very intimate THINGS but with no intimacy invested from them. well, not that texting is inherently intimate, but i think secs IS or SHOULD BE. and i think the fact that we were texting almost every day helped me build up false hope and feel closer than we were. i wish she had either stopped responding to me or she had just agreed to HANG OUT WITH ME tho. like the guy above says, texting can go both ways. best thing is if they actually want to hang out with you.
search feelings for friend in the /rel subreddit
see, women get feelings for their MALE friends ALL THE TIME!!!!
here a woman got feelings for a male friend and HE got MAD at HER hehehehe
but yeah its kinda nice knowing that over 100 iq average normiefags can still fall in LUV and it drives them a little crazy. and they write loooooonnnnnnnggggggg posts on reddit. i thought i was the only one that wrote LONG shit. nope. if the person has feelings and is really invested, they will hae a LOT to say, not necessarily coherent, but just a LOT on their mind!!!!
” spicewoman 9 points 1 year ago
OP, I’ve had a similar situation with a long-time friend before. We had a platonic friendship for a long time (like you) before I developed feelings, and eventually reached the point where I felt I had to say something. It was the not-knowing that was driving me crazy, once we talked it out and I got him to be very clear that he did not return my feelings, it was actually surprisingly easy for me to get over it and move on.
My feelings have genuinely returned to platonic (I can’t even picture being more than friends with him nowadays, I have zero attraction and it would be weird as hell), and we’re still good friends to this day.
One of the important points to discuss with your best friend, if you didn’t already, is to be very clear that these feelings are recent. One of the issues that friendships have with this sort of thing, is that the target of your affection can feel like the friendship was a lie under false pretenses. It feels uncomfortable because it can make them question everything about your friendship up to that point. If you feel you need some time, absolutely communicate that, that you want to take some time to get over it so you can readjust to being platonic friends.
It’s up to her on her end how she reacts to all this, but if you’re really such good friends and she’s a mature and thoughtful person, she’ll be able to appreciate the honesty and the risk you took, and as long as you don’t try to pressure or guilt trip her over this, she should still be able to value you as a friend in the future once you’ve taken the time you need. ”
well i tried to make it VERY VERY VERY clear that these feelings were recent and that the friendship was not under false pretenses, cuz i totally understood how that could be a concern. but i dont know if she read that or believed it when i sent her that message.
umm i never actually pressured her or guilt tripped her to have feelings for me, however i did pressure her to hang out with, communicate, and respond to me, because she was just avoiding me altogether and i wish she would just talk to me. but i was very clear in saying “i accept you dont have feelings for me, just please respond to me and lets try to End This Rel In A Better Way, i feel you are Throwing Me Away Like A Piece of Garbage and that hurts a lot, can you please respond to me and try to i dunno tell me you didnt mean to throw me away like a piece of garbage?”
thats all it boils down to. NOBODY likes getting thrown away like a piece of garbage. by a good friend they got feelings for. who is responding to them putting their heart out on the line and going All In, by Throwing Them Away like a piece of garbage.
the right thing to do is to say, AWWWWW IM SORRY. THIS MUST BE REALLY DIFFICULT FOR YOU. I APPRECIATE THE COURAGE IT TOOK FOR YOU TO TELL ME. BUT IM SORRY I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU.
not get mad at the person and throw them away like garbage.
comment from same thread as above, which i disagreed with:
” defiantgrit -1 points 1 year ago
It’s because you put the cart so far before the horse the horse didn’t even know the cart existed.
This isn’t how relationships work and I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Life isn’t an episode of How I Met Your Mother or the Big Bang Theory. You don’t confess feelings for someone. You have to date them first. How do you know that you actually love them without being in a relationship with them first? You might be friends with someone for years. You might know them so well. You still don’t know who they are in the context of a relationship until you are in a relationship with them. Then and only then can you really decide that you love that person romantically.
Instead you decided to say you had feelings for her without ever taking her out on one date. That puts a lot of pressure on someone and tells them that your ideas about love and relationships are skewed. This is why when you do this a lot of the time you will end up rejected. You should have felt the waters out by asking her out on a date. A real date. And telling her it was a date. If she said no then you could have easily moved onto someone else.
I hope you learned your lesson here. Real romantic love is fostered on two people sharing feelings for one another. Not one person creating an over-idealized version of someone they know as a friend, pining after them, then confessing their feelings verbal diarrhea style. When you do this you’re skipping very important steps that the majority of people take when they get into healthy relationships. Most relationships start with a physical attraction and a few dates then move into a more serious relationship then move into having strong feelings for one another.
And before I have to hear from all the people who confessed feelings for a friend and are successfully married to this day however many years later, please realize your situation is the exception in this sort of situation. ”
this redditor mixes lies with the truth hahahaha. I argue that a friendship IS a kind of relationship. you really get to KNOW somebody. and then from this you can get feelings for them and decide you want a different kind of rel with them. in fact i think its awful that you have to get physical early. and why cant you, in the course of hanging out with your friend, tell them: hey we need to talk. I can feel my feelings changing for you. I think I am starting to get feelings for you. i dunno why its happening now. maybe its the timing. maybe i wasnt fully over bla bla when we first met. just not sure. but what is sure is that i am starting to feel something for you. would you be willing to cuddle or make out or hold hands or have drunken unprotected secs right now hahahaha lemme get some snapchats of that pulverized pvssy hahahaha
when you tell them your feelings, they reject you, but reject you nicely, BUT still want to be Just Friends, and Dont Understand why you need Space from them….. hehehehe i dd not have that problem. just COMMUNICATE with them and tell them would YOU want to see someone regularly who you liked and who rejected you? have YOU ever gotten feelings for a friend before? dont you realize, i still want you right now, i want to go out with you, and you want to be just friends. dont you see how we both want different things from each other? dont you see how this is UNBALANCED?????
COMMUNICATION. DO YOU SPEAK IT MOTHERFOOKER.
99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of all relship problems could be fixed with COMMUNICATION. but these bitches just dont want to or dont know how to communicate!!!!!!!!!!
TELL THEM THAT! TELL THEM the same thing youre telling REDDIT!!!!!!!!!!
there are some redditors who actual type in phrases for the OP to say. “I am feeling betrayed right now when you do this. We need to communicate about this and make sure we understand each other. I would prefer that you not fook other guys. But you have to decide if you care enough about me to honor that wish.”
yeah i admit it i didnt come clean RIGHT AWAY, but i kinda DID start sending signals right away, and gradually turning up the heat because the fire was rising within me. also she could have hung out with me ONCE in 10 months. THEN i probably would have told her a LOT earlier.
its not like “confessing secret feelings” because after a while they already have a good idea something is happening because youre acting weird. like you have feelings for them. and she certainly noticed i was acting weird. and PROBABLY knew what the weirdness meant. though i cant be sure she did.
also. when i first became friends with her i knew she was in a rel with another guy and when she was being all friendly to me i was REAL CAREFUL to watch out for things she might do that might even be close to cheating. i didnt want her to cheat on him in other words. if she threw herself at me, id be like baby, i cant enable you in cheating on anyone! you just showed me youre willing to cheat! thats fookin horrible!
so yeah, her rel with him was primary for me, and my mind couldnt even ENTERTAIN the idea of feelings for her until she was DONE with him. i dont think thats so weird. i was respected their damn rel. i really was!!!!!! goddamn it!!!! im not lying!!!!! thats the truth!!!!! and to her credit she never did anything like cheating. but i know if I had been her BF i would have been suspicious about my GF making a fun new male friend. and in fact i think she might have been TRYING to make him jealous, because he wasnt showing her that he luved her at all.
i dunno. i just know that in 30+ years ive never been a cheater, i dont want to become a cheater. if i havent become one yet, i hopefully never will, and that gives me some hope. but it also means i dont want to be the one a cheater cheats with. cuz do you really want to be with a CHEATER?
and i really think you can separate cheaters from noncheaters, and i want to be with MY KIND. noncheaters. she was a noncheater so that was great.
have i ever been with a cheater? maybe. probably. like this crazy slut i pseudodated. she was very promiscuous and bisexual and bipolar and probably pro polyamory. and so she very probably cheated on SOMEBODY at some point cuz she fooks anything that moves, shes a slut, who doesnt view secs as some sacred bond between two and only two people. she never cheated on me….well she hung out with me, then would leave me and go fook another guy who lived in the same house hahahahaha. but that was only a handful of times ahhaahha. and we werent exlcusively dating so it didnt count as cheating. hahahaha. well it was SHADY AS FOOK. she was willing to fook me too. any gurl thats willing to fook 2 guys in ONE DAY….very bad sign. adding that to my wife questionnaire nanahahahaha.
was it possible she was having an “emotional affair” with me? i dunno!!!! maybe!!! i never really thought of it that way but yeah its a definite maybe hahahaha. i dont think either one of us was mature or smart enough to see it that way though. and also i was very clear in supporting her rel with her bf at that time. that was my goal. i didnt even CONSIDER any feelings with her until she was DONE with him.
i tried to explain all this to her but it was a complicated situation and maybe she felt i was trying to split her and the bf up so i could get with her. although i explained it very clearly that was not the case. and we had several in depth discussions of how she could fix the rel with him. but it sounded like he didnt want to fix it, he just wanted to be done with it hahahaha. i know the feel of being on the receiving end of THAT hahaha.
but yeah i hate being essentially accused of being a liar and deceiver and betrayer, but im really NOT, and also not getting the chance to EXPLAIN myself.
i dunno. when she was with the BF, i encouraged her in that rel; and pretty soon after i got feelings for her, i tried to hang otu with her, and began turning up the signals. so i was a little cowardly, but i still think i made a GOOD FAITH EFFORT to not lie or not deceive or not hide. and then i explained all that shit in the emails that were never read.
so yeah i hate being thought of as a LIAR or a BETRAYER or a DECEIVER.
i gave a good faith effort sure……BUT IT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH.
well i mean its ON HER if i tell her something but she DOESNT WANT TO LISTEN. she didnt HAVE To delete the long emails where i tried to explain all this. she could have read them. she could have listened. she could have RESPONDED!!!!!
i didnt LIE to you! i didnt BETRAY you! i was just scared to say the thing i was heavily hinting at the whole time and i was increasing frusting she was avoiding and avoiding and avoiding and avoiding hanging out with me!!!!!!!
wow what a clusterfook. young man and woman at different colleges, he luvs her, she wants out, dumps him, breaks his heart.
” Be happy she had enough respect for you to not cheat on you. ” says a redditor. REALLY!!!!!! i think he is trying to be a wiseass and not be taken seriously, but this kid really is not gonna take that the right way.
NO. RESPECT IS MORE THAN SIMPLY NOT CHEATING ON YOU. RESPECT IS DUMPING YOU WITH KINDNESS hahahahahaha. RESPECT is understanding that you are causing that person pain, and it causes YOU some pain to cause them pain.