heh in a way I feel betrayed. i know she didnt LUV me but I thought she still liked me as a friend and cared abotu me as a person. well maybe she did. all im saying is i didnt think she would or was capable of throwing me away like that. because really. its not that hard to write one email or one text, or delegate your mom as your messenger even.

and again this wasnt drifting away. ive had the drift away occur, and there you always remember the other person fondly. and could probably pick back up again with the person if you saw them again. nobody did anything betraying or hurtful.

there is something called “the slow fade” which doesnt make sense to me. this is when you gradually stop responding to someone. that sounds kinda shitty.  i am terrible about initiating contact with people but i always RESPOND.

anyway my god. i will never do this to someone. say some undesireable woman falls in luv with ME and i say oh god this has to end, i def dont luv you. i would treat her like a human being at least and tell her baby this has to end, i just dont feel that way, IM SORRY, i cant be who you want me to be, so this has to end, best wishes, the end. dont waste your time with me, find someone who does luv you.

see how quick and easy that was?

well maybe she didnt want to deal with me trying to Negotiate Afterwards. like Pushing after the Breakup and refusing to accept it. kinda like i did with woman2005. she dumped me but i didnt accept it and continued talking to her and trying to get her to take me back.

not that woman2015 knew anything about that hahahaha. besides i am a little more mature now than i was then.

heh. all the trouble people have with relationships are due to womens shitty communication skills. period. men are natural born high verbal IQ, good communicators, and problem solvers. women are like bratty sullen children that expect you to read their crazy chaotic confused mind. period. hahahaha. its amazing men CAN get feelings for women. well, women can control that by turning on that “feminine charm” of being nice, warm, and supportive, interested, add some cuddling and secs and boom the ans oxytocin is turned on. then she does a 180 and is a cold brick wall. wtf. so stupid.

SELF SOOTHING. this is a phrase i had never heard a year ago but ive been paying more and more attention to it. i could never self soothe. when you get anxious or mad you have to be able to soothe yourself. beating off to pron was a way i THOUGHT i was self soothing. oh yes goy its a good way to relieve tension and anger, just beat off erry day to degen pron. NOPE.

other big methods of self soothing were alcohol and MJ.  NOPE. also not self soothing.

cuz all those, you’re taking an EXTERNAL STIMULUS. dependent on somehting outside of you.

now cuddling with another person is indeed very soothing and better than all those things, but its still external. besides, they dont really understand you goy, theyre losing interest in you anyway hahahaha and wont be around to cuddle for long.

so you need to be able to self soothe and just sit there by yourself, no external ANYTHING, and say, ok, calm down, keep calm and carry on, everything is gonna be ok. and this is very hard to do! many of us are horrible at this!

i sure am! if anythign we self blame and self torture and get yourself even MORE stressed out when left to your own internal devices! and using external poison like drugs or pron might even be BETTER! because it gives at least some minor short term comfort.

shit i know what she would say: “he was just acting TOO WEIRD and i just couldnt take it anymore.” the end.

yeah well like it or not you played a role in this baby.  i didnt decide to just turn weird overnight. if you were willing to listen to me explain the weirdness then it would be so weird.

feels like -3 outside yikes hahahaa.

someone on TRS said to neets, go get yourself a shitty min wage job, because thats not a job a nonwhite could be taking. if for nothing else.

yeah things were weird. i agree. but i was willing to talk and exchange thoughts and feelings and words and essentially willing to face this like an adult. she was not. not willing to talk. not willing to share anything. just run away. and



this kind of stuff implies that women have no agency hahahaha well the xkcd i mean. i will eventually tell grils that i like them and then things will go horribly wrong. i think the xkcd is implying a weak guy who is in luv with the gril from the beginning but does a Deception Friendship because its Safer.

thats NOT what i did. we just became friends naturally with no deception. then a long time afterwards, i got feelings. this xkcd is not relevant to that at all.

but maybe she thought i was deceiving her. which would be a horrible misunderstanding. that she wasnt willing to listen to me mansplain haahah.

also unlike the wapo letter writter, i did not have feelings “FOR YEARS”, also i did not see any HURDLES other than her dating other guys.  so when she became single i began showing my feelings, she got increasingly uncomfortable, she refused to hang out with me, and that escalated till it exploded, she stopped talking to me, AND i confessed my full feelings hahahaha.

i never really made myself a martyr FOR YEARS and watched her get with SEVERAL guys. when i met her she was with one guy. that was ok with me. i didnt have feels. then then broke up. then i kinda got feels. then i deduced she was dating some other guy. then i really got feels! then soon after she was done with him. then i turned up the hints to her. then she got more and more uncomfortable. then shit blew up and she walked away forever hehehe. although i did tell her how i felt. but maybe she didnt read it cuz she was already blocking me by then hahaha.

either way i took a lot more action, a lot more quickly, than the wapo guy.

there is a male commenter who says that all men are passive agressive patient predators. i would disagree of coursh, but what if she thought i was being a Patient Predator? I WASNT! IT LEGIT CAME ABOUT LATE, NOT EARLY!!!! this is a point i tried to hammer home because i realized it could be misunderstood as deception., if she thought i had dual intent all along. WHICH I DIDNT. i am not a fooking liar who was “secretly waiting to pounce.”

besides if she wasnt reading my signals, then she wouldnt have reacted the way she did. in other words, she WAS reading my signals BECAUSE she was reacting by pulling away / shutting down. I changed, she changed. not i changed, she stayed the same. if she stayed the same, she prob would have hung out with me and continued being friendly to me!

so yeah i am glad to be morally superior to the pussy beeta letter writer hahaha.

anyway women get feelings for their male friends all the time, usually the alpha ones who have their choice of women.

it was never on the back burner, it was never discontinuous, it really couldnt have gone on any longer than the almost 10 months the feelings did. the started and then it was off to the races. and grew and boiled until they boiled over. they never cooled off. or simmered for YEARS.

europeans spell kebab kebab, and some americans spell it kabob hahahaha.

its hard to find advice on the internet here because this is a very unique situation. because she was not actually my lover, but she was not quite my friend either. its a former friend abandoning you and flipping out when you fall in luv with them.

here is some great copypasta reagrding gay degeneracy which ifound on TRS, but was originally posted on MPC i think, these are the type of people you want adopting children and raising families:


I worked in an inner city major hospital as an ED nurse for 12 years. I have so many stories I don’t even know where to start. The accidents, illnesses…things people couldn’t control should not be talked about. But the others….insanity. For a period of time in Houston there was a trend among certain members of an extreme segment of the gay community to have “mummification parties.” A man comes into the ED in a home-made body cast, head to toe, with openings for his nose, mouth anus and genitals. The idea, I was told was to force ejaculation through the use of a cattle prod, rectally, and to use the other openings as the participants wished, while the “mummy” was helpless to resist. This one group decided to use direct 220 V current from a dryer outlet, placing a metal rod into his rectum, and a clamp on his scrotum. The man had expelled all fluids he had to expel, and had essentially cooked in the body cast. His eyeballs had exploded. I was never sure why he was even brought in by EMS, because he was obviously dead, but I got the initial job of cutting the cast off. The smell of burnt flesh was something that was intense enough to make me retch. Describing the state of the body is probably not even required…just think of a human hot dog, cooked far too long, and left to die in a plaster cast. His abdomen, unable to expand in the cast, had split and cooked feces and viscera had saturated the cast. Once the autopsy was done, it was found he had dozens of broken bones. This was perhaps one of the most horrific deaths I had ever seen. I’m sure someone will say I am bashing gays here…bullshit, I’m bashing human stupidity and the fact that a human life was utterly wasted.


this could just be an urban legend which never happened. there was a similar story about a dead gay mummy in houston, in the weekly world news. not nearly this horrifying tho.


i am butthurt about not being communicated with, about being thrown away and treated like dirt……but maybe women just arent ABLE to be any more mature than this, and EXPECTING them to be mature is just unfair to them! men and women are DIFFERENT! so we should expect different levels of Relationship Management Maturity!

yes i believe men and women are very different but i dont believe they are different in this way. i mean i already know for a fact that not all women are like this. shit.  in fact the MAJORITY of my rejections from women have been dealt thru verbal communications.

those are just so long ago and this one seems more real. yeah its more recent but those other things REALLY happened too.

note: there are tons of women complaining about men who are not mature. but we know there are plenty of mature men out there. these women are just mad they CHOSE POORLY.

i didnt choose poorly though. i thought she WAS mature. she SEEMED mature. mainly because she was chill, undramatic, not hysterical, down to earth, and didnt open her legs to every chad, tyrone, and mohamed.

well the lesson learned was to be autistic about maturity hahaha because just because a girl isnt a SLUT, doesnt mean she can handle her rel with YOU like an ADULT.

also the only reason she was chill was because she was addicted to MJ hahahahahahaha.

EXPAND YOUR MIND and RELAX in a safe holistic non addictive way, goy!!!!!

really this probably enabled her to become so good at IGNORING and AVOIDING and ABORTING things. just smoke MJ and FORGET IT ALL………

well she handled other guys maturely….maybe the common denom here is ME. i am so fooked up i dont deserve to be treated maturely. or with any respect. heh. well other women had the guts to tell me, rather than just avoiding me.

now i didnt believe them.

WELL thats wrong, i believed woman2012!!!!!

and i sorta beleive woman2015……..i just really wish shed done it differently! i mean i believe she doesnt want to date me hahahahaha. but why do it so hatefully. well it wasnt hate it was just cowardice and immaturity and avoidance. end result ie muh pain is the same though. muh fee fees.

gotta get TOUGHER!!!! how do you do that? LIFT! and go out there and approach every day, and get rejected every day!

i really dont even care about approaching though, i still want HER even though i know its over. i dont want anyone else. i mean i dont even notice gurls anymore who arent super hawt…..and those are out of the league anyway. like if they arent a 20 year old perfect 10, they are invisible to me.

even though she was a 25 year old 6 or 7! but to me she was muh perfect 10 because loving somebody brings them UP a few points. not all men can appreciate this or even understand it. some men would say i am lying, but i am not. she was a 7 at BEST but to me she was the purtiest gurl in the world.

just be moar alpha bro. this wouldna happened if i had just been more alpha. so qed it was my FAULT.

not all women are like that. the vast majority of women who have rejected me have been mature enough to TELL me.




heh back up 2 pounds again even though i have been technically under muh calorie limit every day. must be water weigh. drink 32 oz of coffee before getting on the scale hahahaha. i hope so.

guys on fatherland made very good point: how would you feel if you met a decent gurl and she said: well from the ages of 15 to 25 I was watching sleazy and degen porno every single day and rubbin it out and flickin the bean to sleazy degen porno every day for 10 years.

wouldnt you be a bit taken aback by that? well she might not be a slut but youd think this has to affect her in some way.

they are vehemently antiporn and so am i. i am ashamed i ever looked at it and its hard to get away from altogether. but i recommend my fellow neets just shut it down entirely. delete everything, quit it cold turkey. nothing good can come of it. short term or ESPECIALLY long term. like they say, it “rewires your brain” so you cant get off to regular normal secs, that you dont even KNOW what normal secs is. because 99.99 of your secsual experiences have been beating off to sleazy degen MIND CONTROL rather than with real women. just imagine the sleazy merchant rubbing his hands…..BECAUSE HE REALLY LITERALLY IS.  I WONDER WHO COULD BE BEHIND THIS.

so she thought i betrayed her but i really didnt. but i can convince her i didnt because she refuses to listen to me. so ahhhh what. DID i really betray her? sometimes you feel betrayed when a gurl fooks other guys, then you say babe i feel you betrayed me when you fooked that other guy then she says THATS YOUR ISSUE, we arent even dating, weve just been casually hanging out and chilling for a few months, i can fook other guys, didnt you know that? no i didnt betray you, this isnt a real rel.

see thats an example of bullshit. the gurl says i didnt betray you, but yeah you KINDA DID.

i hope im not doing that. saying i didnt betray her, but YEAH I KINDA DID.

but getting feelings for a friend of 2+years, and fooking around with side dick in a bullshit casual hang out secs rel, are two VERY DIFF THINGS. APPLES AND ROTTEN ORANGES.

so i sat in church and thought about it. ruminated.

so if youre having casual sexs with a guy but hes in luv with you and doesnt want you fooking other guys, uhhh the right thing to do is to call him and tell him youre going to fook another guy before you do it. not hide it because you figure its none of his business.

so the right thing to do when you get feelings for a friend is TELL them. not hide it? i wasnt hiding it though, i was signaling and hinting like mad. and i wanted to tell her. i didnt NOT want to tell her. and i thought we would eventually hang out and talk. i figured THAT was way more likely than her cutting me off entirely!

ok so they are both moral gray areas, right? but “pseudocheating” is MORE shady because you are actually taking a direct action that is gonna hurt someone. getting feelings for someone is less of an action. also it doesnt involve a third party.

its less “SHADY” to develop feelings for someone. its positive feelings for a person. your heart opens to them. you dont want to trick or hurt or lie to them.you just want to luv them. you dont want to keep them in their little box while you go flex MUH SIDE DICK FREEDUMZ.

see how fooked up your mind gets? you become unsure if having feelings for someone is as morally wrong as pseudocheating on a guy who likes you. or a girl. who is more justified in feeling BETRAYED?

ok what do the experts on the internet say. i think my shrink confirmed that getting feelings for a friend was not considered BETRAYING them.


hehehe a bti of tangent. author sez the worst kidn of betrayal is one person gradually disengaging and disconnecting, one day at a time. well that kinda describes what SHE did to ME hahahaha. just slowly stop caring, while the other person keeps caring.

not sure what the fix to this is. author was unclear. i would guess open, honest, complete communication.


What is betrayal in a relationship?
Betrayal is a breaking of trust and goodwill in a relationship that can take a long time to heal from and can leave us changed forever. It has broken marriages, ended long term friendships and created rifts in families that can span generations.

What is the definition of betrayal in a relationship?
Betrayal’s root is betray, which comes from the Middle English word bitrayen — meaning “mislead, deceive.” Betrayal has to do with destroying someone’s trust, possibly by lying. If you start dating your best friend’s girlfriend behind his back, that’s an act of betrayal.


all the search results assume you know youve actually been betrayed. not asking whether or not x is considered betrayal. hmmm. BUT according to those definiteions…..

well i broke her trust in me, and her goodwill towards me. i continued to have trust and goodwill to her, but that is irrelevant, cuz i betrayed her, she didnt betray ME. well except by slowly stopping caring about me hahaha.

i dunno. i just hate the thought that i BETRAYED someone.

well according to the second definition: i did not LIE or mislead or deceive her. i was just…..scared to tell the whole truth. i hinted at the truth. i never explicitly DENIED the truth. if she had asked me, do you like me, i would have to say yes!!!!! i would not say no!!!!!


step 1 is ask yourself if it was a MISUNDERSTANDING. uh yeah i think it WAS!!!!!! and we could have gotten to the bottom of this MISUNDERSTANDING by talking about it.

well there was no misunderstanding that i liked her, it was her misunderstanding that me liking her constituted a betrayal or not.

just like some beta pvssy misunderstanding that the slut hes banging is allowed to bang other guys. you THINK its a betrayal but its really NOT.

yeah well again i must say: in the good old traditional days, being promiscuous and nonmonogamous was RIGHTLY considered DEGENERATE AND WRONG AND IMMORAL.

in the good old traditional days, falling in luv with a female friend would not be considered DEGENERATE at ALL. unfortunate and sad and tragic, but not degenerate.

but if shes convinced its a betrayal AND shes not willing to talk to me about it, theres nothing i can do. yes dr nerdluv, i STOPPED contacting her. phaggot.

google EXAMPLES of betrayal. ok



Loss of the Illusion. Even more confusing, however, is that sometimes loss can be the loss of an illusion. Frequently, we develop in our minds the way we think things “should” be. However, reality doesn’t always correspond with the demands that we put on life, ourselves, and others. Therefore, sometimes we are hurt when we have to face this reality. For instance, imagine children who grow up in the fortunate experience of having parents who always put the needs of their children first. But what they don’t know is that their parents are unhappy together. Those children become young adults and are confronted with their parents telling them that they are getting a divorce. Frequently, those children feel betrayed by the illusion of the happy family they always thought they had. Suddenly they are confronted with a hurtful reality.

Another example is that a man marries a woman and thinks of her as a virtuous, moral person. Later he finds out that she had numerous [i.e., 30+ hehehehehehehehe] sexual encounters prior to their relationship. He has lost his concept of how he thought of his wife. He feels betrayed even though she didn’t do anything to break her committed to him; his sense of betrayal is the loss of the illusion of how he thought of his wife.

However, even if the betrayal is the loss of the illusion, the grief is very real and needs to be dealt with. Sometimes this is hard to do because the person is told and believes that they shouldn’t feel so strongly about something that was not an actual betrayal of them. So with this type of loss a person is often tempted to move on too quickly without resolving it.   ”


it was kind of a secret, but a secret i WANTED to tell her. but i was SCARED to say it blatantly, (thats on me, fine) but also i think it IS reasonable to have a Safe Secure Space to tell such an important secret, not blurting it out in the middle of a stressful day of work. but rather, hanging out one on one with the mutual intent of having an uninterrupted conversation. i will NEVER think thats unreasonable. also i will NEVER admit that me getting feelings for her was WRONG. so i guess that answers my question right there.

theres a difference between hiding something degenerate, and being scared to shout out something nondegenerate.

so i tried a “pressure release valve” in other ways, like totally changing the way i acted with her, namely, being more lovey dovey, more soft and tender and faggy. yeah in hindsight i know women dont like soft and faggy. but i was just acting like i cared about her more, was more interested in her all of the sudden, because i was. and i know she noticed the change in my behavior. she could have wanted to talk about that, but she didnt. because she probably KNEW what it signified, and she really didnt want that to happen, because it Shattered her illusion that I would never ever get feelings for her.

so uhhhh its good to talk abotu Contingency Plans BEFORE anybody gets feelings, on how youre gonna talk about it, IF somebody gets feelings. check in early and check in often. communicate about it.

i was the goodest goy. meaning i played right into the enemy’s greedy rubbing hands:

good goy, yes enjoy the herbal j00, its not a drug its a medicine, that helps you RELAX and EXPAND YOUR MIND in a safe holistic way, goy. realizing YEARS later when i am a huge loser that herbal J is not so kewl.

good goy yes, theres nothing wrong with pronography, its all consenting adults, and this is a safe healthy way to Explore Sexuality, which can only be good! yes goy the more porn the better. realizing YEARS later that pron is just godawful horrible filth that needs to be first in the oven.

yes goy good goy, rebel against those hateful arrogant christians, they are so closed minded and hateful, become a smart intellectual intelligent atheist. how dare they say that gays go to hell, gays are nice people. how dare they damn you to hell for liking to beat the mean to pron.

this was unfortunate too. it was prob my rebellion against the church that came before all others and got me on the path of J degeneracy. what i was too young and stupid to realize was, i agreed with 90% of the morals and values of the church. in terms of being a good person, doing the right thing, not being a degenreate slut. but I had to rebel against those good moral values just because there was the stamp of GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD all over it.

what I’m saying is, these values are not limited to a christian god. and even today I like to try to Morally Justify them without “because Goooooooddddddddd”. in other words, you dont need to be a christian to hate degeneracy and pron and sluttery and all that.

but when i was young i figured everything the religion said was bad, so i rebelled against it all. i rebelled against virtue and goodness and became a disgusting evil nihilist degenerate!!!!!!!!!! and reveled in all sorts of decadent J00ish degeneracy that sure as hell made schlomo rub his hands and say yessssssss gooooood goy!!!!!!

and then i said, well the VALUES/VIRTUES they talked about in church are not bad at all, these are the good traditional morals I support.

but they arent TIED to one religion.

when i was young i didnt see how i could reject the religion without rejecting the values! so i became a piece of degen filth. and for this reason i am damaged goods and i really dont DESERVE a pure innocent woman, because im not pure or innocent either.

well in my credit i never did gay sex or promiscuous gay sex, standard fook parties hahahaha. and i never hurt people or treated people like disposable meat. other than the lost soul gurls in the porno i watched. most of the damage i did to myself. i didnt really hurt others.

thankfully i got tired of that nihilistic lifestyle and came back to the traditional values. realizing that i didnt have to be religious.

but by that time i was more tolerant of the religion and figured they might not be so bad if they agreed with me so much on these moral issues.

i just as a teen had a real NON SERVIAM!!!! reaction to god this and jesus that. the shit wasnt even really that BAD in hindsight. i dont know what my damn problem was. i think i just wanted to find a group to fit in with. or i wanted to impress GIRLS somehow. and i liked being aa rebel. so just rebel against everything, even good right minded stuff. rebel just to rebel. stupid.  rebelled against good stuff that would have helped me become a successful adult with good job, good wife, children, all the stuff i want now.

so yeah in a way i am born again, a prodigal son, etc.

i was not a good enough man to deserve a good woman like her!

well at least i can be SURE that if i ever have feelings for a woman again (probably wont, getting too old hahaha) that i will nip it in the bud re the problem of feelings hahahaha.

write a fooking email and have your mom send it, i dont care. delegate your mom to be your liaison to me. i was never flipping out with angry or weird emails. i just wrote long and sappy emails.

no i NEVER said if you leave me / dont respond to me i will “do something crazy” or K self. NEVER said that. never WOULD say anything like that EVER. before you accuse me hahaha.

shit to be shown PITY would be much better than getting NOTHING. have PITY for the pathetic, pitiful person you are dumping, and show them that PITY.  normally getting pity is not great but its better than being thrown away like a piece of shit!

CARE enough to TRY to EXPLAIN yourself.

there were red flags, there were warnings and hints, things were obviously bad. i just didnt think they were THIS bad, that she was SO CLOSE to doing something SO drastic! give me an ULTIMATUM at least. this is the type of thing that needs an ultimatum delivered beforehand: you do this, and i will cut you off entirely. but there was no ultimatum given. that would involve serious communication.

if there WERE, then i probably would have told her my “secret” then!

had some nyquil, abut 65% dose at 640pm. yikes. taking night off of fatclub, it is 12 degrees out there, -3 with wind chill. also i am under my 1560 calories today.

shit. with all the porno i watched, i would be equally morally degenerate as a woman whose taken X cox. 10? 20? 30? god damn i shudder to think.

maybe if somebody explained it to me that way. that by looking at this porno, thats the equivalent of a lost soul slut taking yet another cok to fill the void inside.

cuz even at my most degen, i never really liked sluts. because they would “cheat” on you, lose interest in you quickly, give up on you quickly, youre nothing special to them, they’ll leave you for another guy quickly. that or they will bang every guy BUT you hahaha. no i never defended sluttiness. even if i defended pornography.

well i think i always felt SOMETHING that porno was not all schlomo said it was hahaha. that there is just SOMETHING not good about it. but muh dick. muh dick needs to quickly get off now. erry day.

think about it. list the pros and cons of pron. if somebody even just asked me: DOES THIS HAVE ANY ACTUAL BENEFITS? What is honestly GOOD about this?

all you can say is that it is some hawt shit that gets your dik roc hard and so horny and you wish you could do THAT with a gurl.

but as you graduate into the weirder shit…..i mean thats not really what secs IS. even if gurls all do buttfooking now in 2016 hahahaha.

anyway. what GOOD does the porn do? and guys look at it every DAY. and have TERBYTES of it saved. organized into FOLDERS. looking for HOURS to find the perfect picture or video to Finish With. yet you cant even TALK To real life women and you have not touched a real woman in YEARS. shit yeah thats a problem.

yes, its less degen for a man to go to a HOOKER, than to look at goddamn PRON. i WISH, instead of looking at pron for years, i just would have gone to a hooker once in a while.

cuz its real secs, and really interacting with a person. experiencing the real world.

welp im sure that if you go to a hooker you will probably look at porn too. how many people only go to hookers but DONT look at porn.

point is, going to a hooker once a year or once every 3 months is WAY better than beating off to porn every day.

also, think of successful men you admire with wives and families. think THEY were always beating off to PORN? its horrible stuff. but i figured it was ok because the CHURCH said it was bad, and oh those idiots think EVERYTHING is a SIN. NON SERVIAM!!!!!

regardless of being a sin, it would be degenerate and horrible even for atheist faggots. it was harmful to me when i was an antitheist faggot!

so i used the date of 10/15/15 as the last time i looked at pron, which is a very ruff estimate. it was PROBABLY earlier, like oct 1, or sept 15. and added that to my “days since” spreadsheet so i can say its been 187 days since shit hit the fan with HER, 153 days since ive sent the last ever email to her, (34 days in between in which 2 additional emails sent),  13 days since got a haircut, 94 days since i last looked at pron (ruff, low estimate), and….1 day since i last…..uh beat the meat hahahaha. thinking of some semi random semi attractive gurl I used to work with hahaahaha. who had a good body and wuld be fun to fook. had no feelings towards her, talked to her like 2 times, and nothing in depth. doubt she even knew my name. imagined vigorous but hopefully not to degen secs. the goal is to now go cold turkey on that and see if my “testosterone” builds up. because it goes down to 0 whenever you beat off (CITATION NEEDED HAHAHAHA)!!!!! and takes 100 days to get back to 100% again. hahahaha.

known knowns. unknown knowns. unknown unknowns. known unknowns.

this is the type of stuff donald rumsfeld would rustle jimmies with but it certainly rustled jimmies at my job. you dont know what you dont know. you dont even know if what you’re thinking of exists or CAN exist.

so unknown knowns are the hardest to conceptualize.

well maybe not. like when you see something, and you say, i have no idea what this, or whats going on here, or what to do about it. but i might as well do something so i can buy myself some time to bullshit some speculation on it.




well the men on the fatherland podcast said that to get a good woman you gotta be a decent man, ie not an omega basement dweller neet jobless fat neckbear doritos vidya fapping loser hahaha. you have to have your HOUSE IN ORDER. and i most certainly dont! so why do i think i DESERVE a decent woman?

because at heart, deep down, i am a decent guy with a Good Heart and Good Intentions who wants to be a good husbando and father. but i havent PROVEN myself worthy or capable of that yet. and of course the road to HELL is paved with good INTENTIONS. intentions mean NOTHING. ACTIONS mean EVERYTHING. the proof is in the pudding.

so i was surprised to even befriend a woman better than what i thought i deserved. the only women who should want to hang otu with me would be ugly old sluts with bastard mud babies. not young cute girls with a low number and no kids!

well the only reason she became friends with me was because she needs a father figure, and her LTR was stagnating/failing at that time. yikes. well thats humbling. and i thought she liked me as a person hahahahaha.

well i think she really did. but the no father and the bad LTR were influencing her friendship with me whether she knew it or not, and she prob did not. its always unconscious/subconscious forces with these women hahaah.

thats just what women ARE and i dont like it hahaha.

fatherland tacitly recommends athol kay, dalrock, and some rollo tomassi as advisers on “married game” which is IMHO the nondegenerate version of game. where you want to find and win and keep a good decent marriageable wife.

of course i am familiar with all these names from when i read GAME stuff, they have all been around for years.


goddamn i dont want to link directly TO it, but archive.is does not archive the comments for it.

oh god. salon. arthur chu. defending dr nerdluv (i searched dr nerdlove sucks) against those bitter, lonely, shy, woman-hating nerds who got rejected because they are really creepy, woman-hating, entitled, niceguytms.

AT THE RISK of sounding like a Loser MGTOW, I agree with the hardcore mgtows, dr nerdlove is jsut as bad as arthur chu. they are MALE FEMINISTS. GTFO.

i am the first to admit i am not perfect. and i am the first to say yeah yeah i know im not OWED anything, im not entitled to anything from women.

but to sit there and eat shit and smile? to be cucked and disrespected and like it? to say YEP IM NOT EVEN ENTITLED TO BASIC RESPECT? that is a line too far. and that is what nerdlove is calling for.

i know im not entitled to secs or luv. TECHNICALLY im not entitled to communication or respect or kindness. but i think you can have a REASONABLE EXPECTATION of those things, and thats not the same thing as “ENTITLEMENT.”

i just get triggered and mgtowy when i see bitchy feminists making excuses for women to be total bitches. like just because youve been having secs with a guy for 3 months doesnt mean you OWE him to make an EFFORT to be kind to him when you dump him. because its just secs, its just a casual short term rel, you dont owe anybody anything, you can jsut throw people away like trash and if they get upset, thats THEIR fault. god damn.

ok i did not harrass her with constant messages. i sent one email per 10 days. after 3 emails i said welp she obviously doesnt want to respond so i am gonna go NIC. she has blocked me on FB, prob blocked me on the phone, prob blocked me on email. sending me a clear message/signal. so i will stop contacting her.

and i DID. cold turkey. never contacted her again after that final email.

but god damn, the pain still went on and on and on and on, and i fought the urge to contact her! because this shit aint right!!!!!!

but i respected her unrespectable shitty wishes to throw me away like garbage, and stopped contacting her.

respect their wishes. what a dumb statement. yes i RESPECT being thrown away like garbage.

no. rather, i will BE THE BETTER MAN by not trying to STRONGARM her, but i sure as hell dont have to be a HAPPY CUCK about it. you dont have to LIKE being treated like SHIT.

heh. i dont know if she was a 6 or a 7. as i fell in luv with her i was sure she was an 8. but in truth she was a 6 or 7. but there is a lot of difference between a 6 and a 7 hahahaha.

well in 10 years she will def be a 6 hahahaha. esp if she is fat and has bastard kids hahaha. but she might not get fat.

one nerd on those salon comments said, just do gurlfran experience GFE with a hooker, 300 bucks a pop, “a bunch of times”, and that is “much cheaper and more fun than going to a shrink.”

is it really 300 bucks? i assumed it would be much much more, cuz you;d want a good looking hooker, for essentially 2 or more hours. youd think that would be at least 800 bucks a pop.

were not saying we are entitled to a luving waifu. we just want to not be treated like SHIT, arthur CHU. ph4ggot.

the implication of these marxists is, YES, you DESERVE to be treated like a piece of SHIT, because you ARE a piece of SHIT, for thinking youre ENTITLED to being treated like anything BUT a peice of SHIT!!!!!!!



i should also spend some time with daily stormer board. they are seen as slightly less “intelligent” than TRS [citation needed] and perhaps more emotional, but in that case TDS (not to be confused with the daily shoah) should be right up my alley. plus its nice that anglin puts his name, face, and address out there. not all of us are that brave, willing to give everything like that! who cares if hes a manlet! who cares if he banged a filipina slut years ago! he has a reputation as a woman hater, but really he just believes women have the decision making capacity of children and need to be led/guided by their men.

heh and i was hoping even THIS wasnt even true, i HOPED for women that could be Emotionally Mature and be able to Handle Relationships Like Adults. who would be capable of some agency in their rels; who would make an EFFORT to not treat people like shit. in fact i still hope there are women who are Mature like this.

he’s been banned by paypal, banned by disqus, he’s got all the right enemies hahaha.

good goy / 10 hahaha. if i were gainfully employed i would give him some money. and TRS. and mill woes.

some say that “fapping” without porn is a slippery slope to “fapping” WITH porn. i respectfully disagree. i can separate the two quite easily thank GOD. but i am hestitantly thinking about doing “nofap” ALTOGETHER, teetotaling completely. not that ive been that horny. not at all as a matter of fact. the only thing is the thought that forcing myself to JO thinking of random women is a way to try to erase HER from my mind. and to that end, the negligible degeneracy of no-porn fapping is mitigated. justified.

anyway. sighhhh. if i had just been stronger and not dropped the ball. i guess the trick to that is, get out in front of it early, then you get more leverage. and wont need herculean strength to handle it later, after its grown to herculean proportions of shittiness hahaha.

i read on reddit that sam hyde got a film degree at RISD and then did “postgraduate” work at carnegie mellon prob in film production related stuff. not sure if he completed a masterz degree. they say he worked as a car salesman where he almost certainly made more money than in film. but RISD and CM are Good Schools, people have Heard Of Them.

anyway sam hyde really is on our side and should be supported and its sad he cant make enough money to have a white family, but what he is doing takes some balls.

i wonder how he did as a car salesman. his performance hhehehehe.

the same page said he only had 1 gf ever who dumped him in 2011 and he went into a despair.


this made me lol, about a fatass that ate 37 big macs a day, turned into a funny story

ok the guy only at 20000 calories a day, which is……ok prob like 40 big macs hahaha


hehe some triggering anti millennial stuff here:

quote ”

What’s wrong with ‘getting your s**t together’ at 26?

I don’t like the idea it but not much really. It’s just that most of the time “I have to figure things out and finally get my s**t together” is a bullshit excuse said by millenials going nowhere. What I said is not specific to marriage or being in a career either. I just expect by the mid-20s an adult shouldn’t be loafing around in their parents’ house without a plan in mind. I know a guy like this, 28, got his first job at 21 although he’s now jobless. He lives in the house he grew up in but his parents and siblings have moved out. His mother still pays for most of the bills and he recently inherited some money. He takes courses at community college but isn’t sure if he’s going to university. I asked what he’d do with the money he received and he told me he’d invest in some real estate. That sounds like something resembling long term thought but of course he still just NEEDED the latest iPhone :lolno:

For me that would be an unacceptable life situation (I would consider suicide) but I think it’s more typical for a mid-20s millenial to be living with a roommate and taking a shitjob to pay for rent and student debt, and/or doing grad school, than to live with mom while unemployed and taking 8 units at a community college…the point being that ‘not having your s**t together’ doesn’t necessarily equate to ‘lazy and listless’

” end quote

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehe

too much of a neet loser to even take 16 creds at the CC hahahahahahahahaha thats me and you!!!!!

however MPC seems like a good community too of smart wise men we would do well to listen to. anti degen, etc. and a good read alongside TRS. not sure when MPC came about. this is the type of stuff you graduate to after leaving 4chan and 8chan pol, and have more of a focus, an actual community with usernames, more effortposts, reputation, etc, more of an ingroup/outgroup identity etc.

anyway i will give MPC a like but i would have to lurk there a few months to really understand the group. they would hate me for being a loser millennial with low moral fortitude. no courage. no guts. every man gets fear, but COURAGE is what you use to STAND UP AND FIGHT in the face of your fear. and i dont have that. no courage, no balls, no spine. so what if i have good intentions, a good heart.


how people got into mpc

i mean theres gotta be a lot of overlap with pol and TRS. right wing, race realists, anti degen, often a little religions, like memes and funny pictures, anti marxism, etc.


some good information, but i thought ED would be sympathetic. at least 2 years ago i said ED was kewl, i now take that back, since here they expose themselves as degenerate leftists and attack roissy and MPC and such.


wiki cites an SPLC article calling MPC “far right” and TRS “white nationalist” hahahaha well there you have it.


i will defeinitely not link to SPLC hahahaha well the actual SPLC article doesnt specifially identify those sites as those things but they certainly would.


the most upvoted posts go to this page and get cute little gifs in the upper right based on how many upvotes. 100 seems to be very high. all a bunch of interesting, well-composed, well thought effortposts by obviously Successful Adult Men who did good at college and good at career and can Write Coherently and probably have to do so in their Bigboy Careers.

fooking mangina feminists. i am not dictating to her or saying im entitled to Closure. im saying that a decent person would TRY.


That’s all i expected. i know im not entitled to shit.

so…..are MRA’s as pathetic as MGTOWs? i dunno, i think MRAs do have very valid claims and i agree that feminism must be destroyed. so…..maybe i am back to being an MRA after going a bit too far off the reservation with MGTOW. but it was Race Consciousness which brought me back down to earth, by basically saying, without white babies, whites will lose.

and we need those damn white sluts to make white babies.

ideally they would be a noble pure virtuous shieldmaiden. but we can make some compromises considering the state of our world. how about basically any fertile white woman who hasnt already had a nonwhite baby. setting the bar bretty low here.

hey im not bitching AT HER. i stopped emailing her after 1 month and it was obvious she didnt even want to listen to me. i knew then that she didnt want to be contacted and she has to get whatever she wants otherwise its contactrape. and she doesnt need to have any accountability for being a decent person and im the bad guy if i want to hold her accountable cuz otherwise its contactrape because shes not CONSENTING to me contacting her.

the consenting adults bullshit. you think child molesters consent to going to prison when they get convicted? hell no!

well thats because we have a social and legal contract giving the legal system the authority to do things to convicted criminals that are against the convicteds consent. and she hasnt been convicted of anything except in my own mind. and perhaps other people would agree with me that she did not handle it well.

either way im not contacting her. although i kinda wish i had been less nice to her in the emails and said this is fooking bullshit, i dont appreciate this, i deserve some god damn respect, and i am very disappointed with you disrespecting me, this is not good karma, this is really shitty, you should feel bad, and you should apologise.

so yeah dr nerdluv, im not sitting here begging her for closure. i am done begging. i just dont think guys should stand by and LET themselves get treated like shit, without telling the other person. they should STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES.






some quotes

the most direct route would be to have a conversation about how you feel.

Friendships can often weather a conversation about these feelings, even if starting the conversation is difficult or awkward.

try to choose a time and place that won’t be awkward and will make you both comfortable.

Of course, after a conversation of this nature, it may be a little while before the friendship gets back to “normal.” That’s okay.

However, an unexpected and unwanted advance may really catch him off guard and force him to react abruptly without having the chance to consider your feelings. Alternatively, he might welcome the physical aspect of the relationship, but without talking, it won’t be possible to know if he’s interested in a casual physical connection or a more serious relationship. Depending on your friend’s reaction, it might be difficult for the friendship to recover.

end of quotes from the alice article. this is how i cite and credit sources hahaha.

yeah i was trying to choose a time and place that wasnt awkward or rushed or stressful, ie, not at our ridic job.

it was def an unwanted advance by me, but i dont think so much unexpected. by that time she was picking up the hints and signals. defintely unwanted though.

ok they say “Jeb!” because the Jeb! campaign prints his name that way in their promotional stuff, with the stupid !.

anyway. so easily distracted. this is what multitasking does to your mind hahahaha. it makes you ADD and unable to focus on any one thing for more than 1 minute beucase you think OK its time to flip tabs to my secondary and tertiary tasks now!

ok. if YOU were in luv with a friend, and they werent in luv with you, and they had to turn you down, HOW WOULD YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU? now go ahead and treat me that way. treat me the way you would want to be treated if the shoe were on the other foot. your foot.


is this annoying like a pest and makes you say ugh, or is it like being stabbed in the heart repeatedly, leaving you broken and devastated and much much more than merely annoyed?

also i do not really listen to or read davis aurini anymore, he’s a good guy, he gets it, but his personal style is just too much for me. the way he talks and presents himself is annoying and makes you want to punch him in the face. like a walking self parody. that said he has his mind in the right place and i trust his judgement. i would just not make him my personal Mentor because i dont necessarily want to Be Like Him.

I would choose a mentor who has a loving loyal healthy non crazy nonslutty not fat wife, and some children. ideally at least 3.  and who maybe turned his own life around from being a loser, and now makes at least 15DAH and supports his family, stays strong, is a good father and husband etc. and is not Larping with black suits and clinking ice cubes hahahaha and a ridiculous way of talking. but again i wouldnt push aurini away. he is on our side. no enemies on the right hahahaha. unless they are Neocohen Cuckservatives like Yeb! and his potato looking mulatto wife hahahaha.

there is a theory that she was the first woman he fooked so like cameron in ferris bueller he fell in luv and married her. i dunno, i mean can we prove that? anyway jeb! is a successful politician and financial manager, worth a TON of money, very powerful family, he has to have masculine confidence and charisma to do well in those jobs, he’s not blatantly ugly, hes not a manlet, so…..he has to have some idea of his worth in other words, and wouldnt marry that brown potato unless he was truly in luv with her. well i guess thats the explanation then.

point is, even if jeb! would sell our nation and race down the river, he’s still MORE than alpha enough to pull an attractive white woman for marriage, so why didnt he.

heheheh one of the songs of the month jan 2016 and gets me hyped up to do exercise. one of my fav mancrush guys, and you know he is talking about some pretty good stuff, but uh cant even find the finnish lyrics for this song.

muh man sez: ” Many non-Finns has been asking about lyrics. Most lyrics has more impact on Finnish and some concepts might be hard to make as strong in “generic” english words what doesn’t carry same weight as they might in native language. However, working on translations of texts. Those who are interested, may ask English versions. ”

THX BUDDY hahahaha. i would just use google translate to get a GENERAL IDEA.

however some lyrics talk about fatherland, nation, bloodlines, no country without its people, anti marxism, so uh thats fooking AWESOME.

plus this guy is just a strong songwriter and a very strong producer. on the above song he sounds like a one man motorhead. yet he is just one finn and this is the least widely known of his projects. yet you get perfect production, perfect performance, and just a very well written song. if i did stuff like this i would be bragging about it to no end. yet he makes it intentionally obscure. what a guy. i hype him up because i luv him and after discovering this project, i luv him even more, because i see that his mind really is in the right place. this guy would be a good mentor. but, i would like him to find a good wife and have some children absolutely.

heh. i found a photo of him playing live with this band and you can see the hands of some men in the audience giving a “ROMAN SALUTE” hahahahahaha.

again I dont like connecting his name with this bands name too much because a. its already out there b. people already call him racist, but i dont think they realize how racist he really is hahahaha. personally i love it. but i do not want to force people out of the closet before theyre ready!

anyway his lyrics do not seem to be the crude vulgar moon man style lyrics, but the more classy uplifting “restore the glory of the glorious fatherland” type stuff.

yeah that 2010 demo hits the sweet spot for me. all killer no filler there. the 2012 demo has a much heavier sound and is also tasty. the 2014 LP has yet a different sound, but is very enjoyable. imho that 2010 demo has muh fav sound out of all them.

anyway point is i like the straightforward rocking masculine ballsy approach of motorhead but motorhead was degenerate as fook. give that sort of sound with a nondegenerate message. the perfect solution is a band like “cross of liberty” hehehehe.

they/he is inspiring me and is a great help for getting thru my own tuff times. kinda wish he had some english language songs though. 50 50. 40 60. you gotta have the finnish language songs tho.

i believe the most relevant motorhead albums at this point for me would be “no sleep til hammersmith” and “ace of spades.” i listened to parts of each while doing a grueling exercise the other day. they sounded very good. good choice.

but again they are all about getting drunk, getting high on speed, and banging diseased sluts who have been with 100000000 guys. this is a very thuggish, r-selected kind of masculinity. always choose K-selected masculinity.

action: you get feelings towards a friend and want to talk to them about it.

reaction: they treat you like you killed their family. like you stabbed them in the heart, now they stab YOU in the heart.

result: you may make a TERRIBLE association that getting feelings for someone is wrong or bad or harmful. IT IS NOT.

google got feelings for a friend, told them, they cut me off entirely


#566: My closest friend broke off our friendship, and now I don’t know how to stop feeling lonely and isolated.


Assign the responsibility for what happened between you where it belongs: with her. Whatever she was going through personally, whatever made her decide to stop being your friend was her right. But it was cruel to just dissolve the friendship by freezing you out. Even just telling you “I need some space from our friendship and do not want to be in contact for a while” would have given you some information you could use and saved both of you the period of time where you reached out and she got (presumably) annoyed by that.

Come up with the briefest possible story for what happened between you.A. was my close friend, but she decided to drop the friendship without telling me why. It really hurt my feelings when she left, and it really bugged me to never get a good explanation for what happened, but ultimately it’s out of my hands.” If anyone who used to know you both asks, you now have an answer. You don’t have to pretend that it didn’t hurt your feelings. You don’t have to offer reasons for why it happened – you’re allowed to say “Who the f0ck knows? It wasn’t my decision.” If you start finding yourself cycling through your history together, you have a way to skip to the end without making yourself live through every detail again.

end quotes



oh god. i forgot that dr nerdlove is a HORRIBLE PERSON. and that you should NOT listen to his POISON. God damn he is a horrible horrible fook. I forgot this until now. I hope not a lot of peopel read his BILE and take that SHIT seriously!

very triggering article saying yes i am a bad person for being upset about this and thinking i am OWED a Better Ending by her just because we knew each other for 2 years, and that if you get “PTSD” after a breakup you obviously should not be dating because youre not stable and secure enough.

i HOPE the comments were more sensible but my god what an infuriating article. dr nerdlove is the fooking WORST. and worst of all his audience is loveless hugless omegas like me, and his advice is, just let women walk all over you because if you dont youre a stalker. ignore dr nerdlove posts hahaha

could you imagine him saying that to a woman who was callously dumped?


heh.so for 1 month after the dumping i continued to reach out like a weak clingy bitch saying please reconsider, please respond. not 10000 texts a day, just 1 email every 11 days. 34 days after the dumping i sent my last email and that was the LAST TIME i ever contacted her. 5 months ago. so i dont think i was stalking or bombarding her like this needy guy in the relshiptak thread.

heck even that FAGGOT BITCH dr nerdlove would say i did all right.

well hed also say i dont deserve to date anybody ever because i have issues that give me “PTSD” whenever i get dumped, i should be more secure, therefore, no dating for me until i become more secure, which i prob wont ever hahaha. god i hate that little bitch. i hate to think he is white. what a fooking CUCK.


Searches related to got feelings for a friend, they cut me off entirely
friend cuts off contact
borderline personality disorder


maybe she felt i was drowning and that she was not strong enough to help me, and that i would pull her down with me. well that is acccurate, i was kinda drowning.

WELL THEN JUST TELL ME. tell me politely you cant do this any more. thats all i wanted.

and YES dr  CUCKLUV, i believe i was entitled to THAT much!!!!!!! fooking faggot fuck he is.


oh dear god


I have read and been told by female friends that when a man is friends with a woman and all of a sudden wants to take it to a romantic level, the woman will “freak out” and get turned off. She’ll feel betrayed, thinking that the man’s intentions all along were to gain her confidence and trust, then hit her with the romantic feelings. That probably explains why a female friend has shunned me.

Personally, I think it’s selfish to think a guy plans something like this and if some do, they are jerks and make all men look like jerks. Also, what is so wrong with a man being friends with a woman and after a while (in this case, 4 years) growing closer to her and developing feelings?
Now I put the blame all on myself and it is beating me up inside thinking it was my fault. I feel empty. There is still one more email address to which I can write her but I am not going to since it will make me look like a stalker. What’s your take on this? Do you think she will ever try and hear me out? Should I keep pursuing? Did I really screw it up?


he wrote angry emails though, i did not write angry emails. because if youre angry then youre automatically the bad guy hahaha.

irenes response:


Dear Ross,

Some platonic relationships do become romantic ones. So I strongly disagree with your female friends’ analysis of women. If a woman feels the same way you do, she’ll be only too happy to take the friendship in a new and more romantic direction.
Perhaps, in this case, there’s a simpler explanation for your friend’s behavior. Could it be that she felt safe with you as a friend—when you had a girlfriend—but doesn’t feel that way now? When you expressed romantic interest in her, she may have backed away because she simply wasn’t interested, not because she felt betrayed.
In either case, better to back off. No more emails! She ignored your earlier emails and calls; saying offensive things to her had to make things worse. Unfortunately, it sounds like you’ve lost both a girlfriend and a platonic friend in one fell swoop. You need some time to heal before you get involved in another serious relationship with another woman.

Hope this helps.



yeah i wasnt scheming to win her trust so i could stick the dick/knife in. i just won her trust, then gradually got feelings. some women find this very hard to believe i guess.

get a panoply/variety of sizes of sturdy plastic storage boxes, that you can store stuff in. ranging in size from shoebox size to that of a large Tub. this can help you really clean up clutter. once a year go through them and throw shit out you dont really need.

fook that faggot dr nerdlove, into the oven he goes. what a man hating misandrist. ok MAYBE the heartborken dork he attacked in his article WAS a little annoying, but to do into such great detail tearing him apart is SADISTIC of nerdluv. guy just got his niceguy heart broke, have a little sympathy, rather than counting the ways SHE OWES YOU NOTHING!!! YOU DESERVED THIS!!!!

i think when you have some kind of long term rel, be it a friendship or a secsrel, and one person wants to end it, the other doesnt, then the one who wants to end it OWES IT to the other person to try to end it as smoothly and gently and nicely as possible, rather than treating them like The Bad Guy for Wanting Better Closure. Not even GREAT closure, but something better than the shittiest closure ever. MAKE A GOD DAMN EFFORT. ANY EFFORT AT ALL. That is all i am saying. nerdlove. shut him down. what a loser. even more than me.

pathetic. ew. ugh. ick. ack. ugh. gah. wow. just wow. i cant even. just no. um no. sorry not sorry. um yeah no. stahp. / I WILL LEAD YOU, IF YOU WILL SUPPORT ME


yeah buddy

what did i want to say.

i am anti casual sex. secs is an important thing because it can create new life. when you are young and have secs with your first few partners, your brain floods with bonding chemicals like oxytocin. then you get feelings for someone you dont really know. the feelings are built on a weak foundation, but the feels are still real.

when you say, oh i can ignore those feels, because this is just CASUAL, and then go on have have 5, 10, 20 partners, then you lose the ability to BOND with ANYONE.


i prefer women who prefer long term rels to short term rels. short term rels are JUST STUPID.

unless you are a muh dik r selected quantity over quality degenerate rat hahahaha. and that is what we are being pushed towards!!!!!!

so yeah there are mysteries in life that we will never figure out. i cant explain. hahaha.

i had never experienced this, and in a way, she had never experienced this. its no wonder it was a clusterfook.

still the solution is not complicated. just be NICE. treat people the way you want to be treated. nicely. with respect. with kindness. doesnt take a genius to know that throwing peopel away is painful and harsh.

and the only sense we can make out of it is: it was path of least resistance. easy way out. just ignore it and MAKE it go away. pretend it doesnt exist. classic avoidant behavior. nothing new here. doesnt matter if you had a 2 year friendship.

but yeah the fact that i had a SOLID FOUNDATION with her, made the feelings stronger, more real, and more painful to lose. the Oxytocin built up slowly and gradually, just the way i wanted it to, rather than being forced quickly by a Too Fast Secsual Encounter. WOmen who move into secs quickly make me VERY uncomfortable, yet i HAVE to play by those rules, because otherwise i would still be a virgin hahahaha. and i see it as “taking one for the team” or for the greater good, in that it will make me more masculine, more confident, get better at dealing with women, so i have a greater chance of pulling an Actual Quality Woman.

(the same does not hold true for women of course and its sad that I should have to mansplain that to women hahaha)

heh i am trying to justify and validate and mansplain my feelings to invisible imaginary jury of women. like YEAH its very painful when you LOSE someone very close to you.

well the closeness was all in your mind. you felt close to her, but she didnt feel close to you you WEIRDO. so youre WEIRD to feel the way you do, living a fantasy.

well, i respond to that by saying she WAS close to me once.  then near the end she began gradually withdrawing that but also giving mixed signals and false hope. how was i to read her mind. mixed signals. i knew it didnt look good but i didnt expect it to end this WAY at this TIME. i almost expected more of an angry tantrum like “stay away from me you weirdo!”

which i dont know if that would be better or worse. i would probably blame myself for being CONFIRMED creepy weirdo.

how weird is it though? i argue its not that WEIRD for a man to get feelings for his female friend; and its not WEIRD for him to be a pussy ass beta about expressing those feelings, to be a bit awkward.

yeah well women hate AWKWARD. this was one of the first lessons I learned from women when I was 21 and had my first experience with pseudodating. the girl was constantly worried about things being AWKWARD. and she said that I was NOT AWKWARD. hahahahaha thanks for the confidence builder. then she let me in super quickly.

well who cares if things are AWKWARD. there are far worse things in the world than awkward, like abortion and being raped by packs of mudslims, and being unable to live on 15 DAH, and being unable to get a 15DAHJ, and becoming a moral degenerate, and going bankrupt from cancer, then dying of cancer, having your heart torn out by those you love. actual pain and suffering. who cares about awkward.

but obviously women are still very worried about awkward.

prob cuz it signals a weak unconfident gamma/sigma/omega? a bad mate? yeah probably.

a man who cant HANDLE a woman. pathetic. ew. ugh. ick. ack. ugh. gah. wow. just wow. i cant even. just no. um no. sorry not sorry. um yeah no. stahp.

but my POINT is, women find this weak gamma behavior ANNOYING, and ANNOYING is not PAINFUL the way being STABBED IN THE HEART and treated like a piece of SHIT is.

ANNOYING is not that painful, when men are weak and annoying to women. but when women stab weak men in the heart and throw them away…..thats DEVASTATINGLY PAINFUL. i would take MERE ANNOYANCE any day.

anyway i refuse to believe women are total children. i believe european derived women ARE capable of agency. women are different from men and are generally more emotional, but i dont want to beleive they are SO emotional and SO stupid that they are ALL like CHILDREN that need to be dominated and led at all times.

also i am ok with leading and dominating a woman. but sometimes i have my bad days and need some SUPPORT.

i will LEAD you, if you will SUPPORT me.


” The USA got the plague of degeneracy first, and are first to recover from the plague; In India the kids are watching TV now, even as a growing number of American moms raise their kids without TV ” by my MAN. so glad that he is back. cant keep a GREAT man down. he has also recently become a poster at TRS forum, which is great. they would def benefit from his wisdom, and should invite him to the shoah, blog his articles, link to him, etc. he’s been one of my biggest white inspirations over the years.

anyway he talks non-doxxingly about his current job, a service oriented thing where he has to be a hardass to customers/clients. give them bad news and say THIS IS THE WAY IT IS. IT IS WHAT IT IS. IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU DONT LIKE IT. and it is stressful and to relieve that stress he works out a lot and does MMA. omg. such a great guy. indominable, irrepressible, unstoppable. total mancrush on him since like 2012. i wish he had a less stressful job. it sounds kinda like my old job. good news is he can handle the stress, but still. principle of the matter.


I will lead you, if you can PLEASE luv me enough to support me and be nice to me on my bad days where I am not a super strong leader. not at the top of my game.

heh. there should be a tech support stack exchange. they have tech everything else, but nothing for the poor tech support employees, who have questions and need help on how to do their job [better]. because the people they actually work with are not gonna help them, so its actually BETTER to ask anon questions on the internet. unbelievable.


oh lord. this is exactly why i like heartiste.

oh theres a twist there. well i was still able to pick the correct answer. plus that gurl would be an 8 at least: young and cute. i dont like big bewbs though and she looked like an attention hungry slut so thats bad.

anyway. i bet even if i got that woman, that person, to talk to me, she would be annoyed and distant and essentially would be saying k. k. k. i would give a big speech and she would say k. well stop pushing me and being so weird.

its like when a drug addicts family is trying to get them to go to rehab, but the addict disappears, refuses to answer the phone, to respond to messages, etc, and their family calls them 1000000 times with no response, until maybe sometimes the addict says STAHP bothering and pushing me! now im gonna push YOU away!


hehehe but The Double Standard is SO not bullshit. the fact that this casual cok loving whore thinks it is, shows what a degenerate enabler she is! no! stahhhpppp!

yeah that whole website is degen poison. very triggering to the antidegen such as myself. makes you think all women are whores, becuase it tells young women that being a whore is fun, good, and healthy, and not a bad thing like sexist women haters like me say it is!

anyway i bet if i HAD talked to her, she would have just eye rolled and said as little as possible and made me to be the bad guy forcing her. it wouldnt have been a GOOD talk. it wouldnt have helped THAT much. she wouldnt ahve been that much NICER in dumping me.

by making me the bad guy, its easy to dump me hehehe.


it will NEVER make full sense. she just wanted to take the easy way out and avoid confrontation. and i will never be able to read her mind and know exactly what she was thinking.


shit. i hate the idea that she could just say, well its YOUR fault your heart was broken, you got feelings when you SHOULDNT have, you let yourself get too carried away.

and even more so: its YOUR fault this was so devastating, becuase only YOU felt a sense of closeness. you thought I was some great thing, I thought you were just a casual acquaintance.

because for the most part, we were much more than casual acquaintances, and she showed me kindness and luv and loyalty that only an actual real literal friend can. didnt matter that she didnt have feelings for me. what did matter was that we had a decent, real friendship, and i dont like her denying that!!!!!!!

but i will never know if she IS denying it!

a circular thing. she wouldnt do something like this unless she thought they were a bad guy. so by her doing this, she convinces herself that i am a bad guy.

but im notttttttt!!! hahahaha.

its just so hard to lose someone who is a decent, marriageable, mother of your children woman. i wouldnt CARE if she were a dirty whore. but she had all the qualities of a good lifelong mate. this was not some 33 year old, post carousel, ticking clock, etc. it was a young healthy mid 20s, nonslut, pre carousel, loving, kind, loyal.

it hurts a lot more when the DECENT women dump you rather than the sluts.  you cant even call them an evil whore cuz theyre not.

it was a real BITCHY thing to do though.

imho, “bitch” is different than slut/whore. bitch means they are mean and nasty and unkind. slut/whore refers to the promiscuity, the number of cox taken. so you could have a nonslutty bitch, and you could have a kind nice slut.

anyway. the scooby calorie meter says i can eat like 2100 calories a day and still lose 1 pound a week uhhhhhh and it gives a warning box saying this is dangerous, dont do this without talking to your physician, when bunping it up to cut your calories by 25%, to lose 1.3 pounds a week hahaha, which still give like 1700 or 1900, where my myfitnesspal is 1570.

i dunno. maybe the scooby is right. it all depends on whether my activity level is sedentary, or the one right above it. i mean i like to shoot for 8 hours a week of exercise hahaha. but does that factor into my activity level?

i dunno.

anyway. i just wish this were more painful for HER, becuase that would PROVE i mean something to her and it wasnt all in my damn IMAGINATION.

oh well its YOUR fault you got too attached, i didnt ahve ANY feelings for you, so, im not hurting at all.

because at our peak I KNOW she was attached to me / cared for me as a fairly close friend. i was pretty much in her inner circle of a very small number of friends. i liked being important to her, mattering to her. it was good for my confidence hahaha. seriously.

i knew things were bad for a while, but i thought i still MATTERED to her somewhat.

and i think i did, even at the very end, but at that point she still chose the abortion option hahaha. it doesnt’ necessarily mean i no longer mattered to her AT ALL or that she felt NO pain about this. i’ll just NEVER KNOW is the important point im trying ot make here hahaha. ILL NEVER KNOW if i mattered to her at the very end. I think i did, i mean she was SORT OF nice to me like even a week before the shit went down. not super nice but at least willing to talk, trying to be somewhat cordial and not a huge bitch hahaha.

she could ahve even communicated with me THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE if she was too Something to do it herself. and i wold have told that person the truth: that i am in great pain and i think this sucks and i wish we had better closure hehehehe and that i was unsmooth and awkward but i dont think i did anythign wrong or hurtful or bad or abusive.

ok had a nyquil at 6 pm. not bad. the stuff helps you eat less too, you lose your appetite haha. trying to starve self hahaha.

of course bitches dont care if youre in shape as much as you are fun and alpha and personality. personality matters more to bitches and nonbitches too hahaha than your body. good thing i have no personality and am awkward and boring and weird and lame and neet haha loolololololollolol.

heres some serious antidegen agency: i just went through and deleted all my pr0n related bookmarks. just deleted em. i dont have any of that saved on the computer, just have bookmarks. and now i deleted them. feelz good man hahaha.

someone said that

trs link redacted

great thread. but somewhat said, pr0n is like the elites CUCKING you. dont let them CUCK you. dont let them take a dump in your soul and degrade you. throw their shit back in their face.

if what youre doing is something that would make the elites rub their hands greedily and say GOOD GOYIM, then dont do it, that is how you fight them.

dont let them cuck you, dont let them degrade you.

my biggest “gains” are that i have gotten into an exercise habit, thats great

and also i havent looked at pr0n in like 3 or 4 months. thats good, i am proud of that too.

and before that time, i still realized pron was bad and tried not to use it more than once a week.

compare this to being a horny teenager and looking at it EVERY DAY. SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. GOOD GOD.

nothing wrong with being horny but dont look at that brainwashing degeneracy. took me SO long to figure that out.

although i never really LIKED it and said WOW THIS IS AWESOME THIS IS THE GREATEST OH YEAH. I think i always realized i wanted to get away from it. and now i have.

the fatherland episode 9, see fatherland on soundcloud, see sidebar links

i just made my first post on TRS forums to bump a thread advertising this podcast done by TRS forum fatherz. didnt even listen to it yet. only listened to 1 episode (8) but it was good. lot of potential hear. youngish fashy goy fathers with young children who talk about family life, being a father to young children, finding a good wife, etc.

ANYWAY my POINT was, obviously porno is “pozzed” (TRS speak for “DEGENERATE” and j00d and bad), but what about jerking off (kids call it “fapping” but i dont care for that word) SANS pr0n0? just to ideas in your imagination?

well obviously its a lot better than with pr0n! but sometimes I think we force it anyway, when we are just desperate for a lift of mood because we are sad and lonely and not even horny. and then go to your spank bank, think of some cute gurl you knew, and imagine having casual possible rough secs with them.

i dont think this is too great either.

the least degenerate jerking off can be was like when i was thinking of THAT WOMAN back before the shit hit the fan. And i was deep in the feels and wanted her to be my gf and was just trying to hang out with her and she kept saying yeah i wanna hang out to but i cant do it now, it has to be later. later, later, later, later, later.

and then i imagined having gf longterm rel monogamous luv oxytocin secs with her.

trs forum link redacted

hehe. watching TRS live thread with the debates and the “trumpenfuhrer” hahahaha




yeah buddy. being a damn anorexic starving myself and exercising like mad, yet still gaining weight hahahaha.

also when it comes to getting women, your personality matters more than your body. there are plenty of guys who are in good shape who STILL cant get women cuz their personalities are boring or beta or gamma or sigma or omega hahaha.

oh well. best not to disqualify whatever achievements ive made w losing weight. i hit an all time low recently, then when i weighed in 6 days later i have gained like 1.2 pounds. DAMN. i HOPE it was “water weight.”

i dunno. i think SOME women have SOME agency on SOME things. when a woman really wants something, she gets it. they have enough agency to get masters degrees and careers and chad thundercox and tyrones and to beg tyrone not to cheat on them.

also, to make such a concerted effort to AVOID someone is also an act of agency.

so, she had AGENCY, she just had no desire or will. she was ABLE but NOT WILLING.

morally this is not as bad as cheating, but it is just confusing and demoralizing as FOOK. makes it real easy to blame myself and not blame her enough. so its effects on ME are probably WORSE than cheating. cuz then i could just say good riddance to that cheating degen b, im too good for that! now, i say, o god i drove her to do this with my complete unmanliness and unworthiness and weakness! if i were more of a man, this would have worked out!

weird. just abandoning someone is not as bad as cheating, but it hurts worse than cheating?

well we never had the type of rel where she could “cheat” on me anyway, cuz we were never going out.

well we did have the type of rel where she could abandon me and throw me away! and she sure did!

so she thinks of me as a little bitch piece of shit because i didnt handle the situation LIKE A MAN. therefore its my fault and she doesnt HAVE to respond to me at all.

david bowie died. well he was pretty degenerate but he had some good songs didne? definitely an Icon. and he himself was white. but he had a huge fag past hahahaha and a nonwhite wife and probably mixed children with her?

i mean as far as alternative hipster artsy fag music david bowie was on my list of to-listen to more deeply explore the deep cuts of his non pleb tier albumz. what was the album? heroes? alladin sane? i hear his super early folkish stuff was ok too. prob worth have been worth seeing live, but i never did. not even sure last time he came here. had to be over 10 years ago.

i HATE being confused and i have been more CONFUSED the past year or so than i have ever been. confusion and chaos reigned from mid 2014, thru all of 2015. it sucked! it sucks! its stressful and wears you down and its no fun, makes you a weaker man, a worse degenerater person. i didnt understand my job, we were confused all the time. all the time. shit would go wrong and youd have no explanation for it, so you had to make up bullshit theories on the spot. i would temper that with “….but thats just speculation, an educated guess.” when i was not within earshot of a higher up who would then send me an IM saying “never speculate, it can come back to bite us.”

ok tell me what TO do then. oh just tell them we dont know, and we cant fix it.

i hated that.

and the shit was just as if not more confusing with HER. i had never experienced something like this. i didnt know what to do, i didnt know how to interpret it, or how to deal with it, what to think about it. it just destroyed and devastated me and i couldnt deny that real feeling. but what else could i learn from it, take out of it, deal with it, move on from it? i had no idea. total confusion. was it my fault? her fault? could i win her back? its not like we ever were dating in the first place! it was unlike previous things i had with women. yet the slutty trashy women i was stupidly in love with, treated me nicer than the good decent woman i was right to be in love with.

the General Standard Dynamic had become me being nice and sweet and faggy to her, and asking her every 2 weeks if she wanted to hang out, her giving a noncommittal answer, me saying ok sorry i dont want to bother you. over and over again. yeah i was weak and faggy and unmanly! does that mean i deserved being treated like GARBAGE? i dont think so! i wouldnt treat ANYBODY like that!

so i wouldnt want to be in a rel with somebody so IMMATURE. but she WASNT immature with the other guys!!!!! she TRIED with them!!!! she TALKED to them!

and i blame myself, becuase i was so unmanly and weak and faggy and SUPPLICATING, that she didnt want to TRY with me.

a large part of the supplicating came from waiting too long.

but yeah. so fookin stupid. hate this shit. it always comes back to this: YEAH I ADMIT I WAS A WEAK LITTLE B but she STILL could have treated me better EVEN if she wanted to avoid dealing with the situation. her sending ONE SHORT message would have saved me months and tons of pain. we wouldnt even need a conversation. she could just say sorry im done i cant do this sorry youre not a bad person but we cant talk any more its over and i cant respond to you after this.

well maybe it could have been WORSE, like her sending me a real bitchy message and THEN shutting the door. like you are the weakest piece of shit ever and dont deserve a woman as good as me, hope you die alone and k youself you pathetic scumbag.

that might have been worse hahahaha. ok time for fatclub YET AGAIN.


google how to learn how to do your job when everybody bitches at you for asking for help and nothing is written down and you cant make mistakes because then youll get fired

google how to not be like private pyle in full metal jacket

welp some things in life will always be MYSTERIES. we will NEVER understand. the more we TRY to understand, the more CONFUSED and FRUSTRATED and ANXIOUS we get.  I think I am experiencing one of those great MYSTERIES. its a sorrowful or suffering sort of mystery, like the Agony in the Garden or the Scourging at the Pillar or Christ Is Nailed To The Cross. when you say a proper Rosary, it’s all about these sets of MYSTERIES.

dont want to harp on that religious aspect TOO much but it is relevant. but also to really understand the MYSTERY aspect of this: meaning, you can think and think and feel and think and feel and cognition and intuit and meditate and analyze and overthink and turn over and meditate and ruminate about these things………but you will never MAKE SENSE of it.

just accept the suffering and accept you wont make sense of it. thats what a mystery is. the mystery will be forever unsolved.

shit yeah you want to solve it. you (and I!!!!) HATE being confused, HATE not understanding, ESPECIALLY when it causes SO much stress and suffering. you want to use your Human Intellect, a Gift from GOD, to solve your problems, and alleviate your suffering and confusion. you’re smart enough to figure this out……aren’t you?!?!?!?! you have a 100 IQ……dont you?!?!?!?!

you WANT to figure things out. and i have been SWAMPED with confusion for the past year and a half, if not 2 years. first regarding the constant confusions and mysteries of muh stupid confusing job, then the confusing shit with her. i wanted to figure out the damn confusion. i cant be faulted for that.

but this shit with her, i have less chance of making sense of, than the stupid shit at my job.

but this doesnt mean i cant take anything out of it! i can still learn from it!

namely, dont do this again hahahaha. if i have feelings for a woman, tell her AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

see this was the first time i even got feelings for a female friend though.

if you do the standard modern degen shit of fook first, get to know them later if ever, its understandable how some Naive People Like Moi get feelings. “awwww. what a nice guy to get feelings. but its just casual secs.” on some level they KNOW that having secs and going through the motions of casual dating run the RISK of SOMEBODY getting feelings, so its not super SURPRISING if someone DOES get feelings.

IMHO this is natural and right, NOT naive and old fashioned. old fashioned is BEST fashioned anyway.

well id also argue that its not HORRIBLY SURPRISING that someone could eventually get feelings in a man woman friendship either!!!!!!!!!

see, im trying to FIGURE IT OUT again!!!!!!

so the lesson learned is what i figured out pretty quickly:






what else. there was a guy on trs forums i think in the depression thread where he gave some very insightful advice, and examples showing how he would take a thought, then run with it. blow every thought up and make it the end of the world. i do the same thing.

anyway i went to look for it then was sidetracked for an hour on newer TRS poasts hahahahahahaha. and still didnt find it.

hmm now at all time low of 163.8 pounds, down from 167 3 days ago. i guess i fluctuate that madly hahahaha.


anyway the TRS guy said that he said STAHPPPPP to the Repetitive Negative Thoughts, and simply began to think of everything in terms of GREENTEXT, which you will have to read chans and forums to really GROK how 2 greentext. basically its a mixture of detachment, brevity, stoicism (arguably), and smartass humor. take the most horrendous thing and reduce it to a smartass 1 sentence of greentext.

trs oldforum thread on dealing with despair

the long poast by user anomolous. there it is. perhaps some of that is not 100% TRS is, but i really liked what he said and how he said it.

ok heres the quote


Anomalous about a month ago
The most powerful function of the human mind is its ability to alter itself. Right now, there is quite a bit of research being done on augmented reality technologies. Essentially, I put on the special anti-problem glasses and wherever I go, I see beautiful 2Dwaifus instead of aposematic, fat-positive, sluts. Obviously this technology has many other, more productive applications, but the point is that it’s a filter you place over top of your perception.

This can be accomplished without technology. I wouldn’t call it a form of delusion or self-deception, but it does require you to consciously apply the filter to your perception at first. With time it becomes natural.

There are many filters that work for different people. There’s the aforementioned 2Dwaifu filter, the Jesus filter, the dude weed lmao filter, and countless others.

The filter that works for me, and the one that I’d prescribe to just anybody who browses TRS is the >greentext filter.

Basically, I think in >greentext. Everything that I perceive must pass through the >greentext filter before I acknowledge it. In my experience, the >greentext filter has the effect of mitigating big problems through mockery and exaggerating small events. There a lot of people out there who live by the philosophy, “don’t sweat the small stuff”. These people are idiots who fail to grasp the path to living a truly hilarious life. The point of the >greentext filter is to revel in complete contempt for what may seem like big issues while getting hyperbolically worked up over inconsequential minutiae.

Let’s apply the greentext filter to a few scenarios:

Before greentext

Your house burns down

Holy shit, what a tragedy. Everything you’ve worked for up in flames. You are consumed with regret over the fact that you didn’t take out a better insurance policy.

After greentext

Your house burns down
Well top f00king kek. That shack wasn’t even fit to be a designated shitting street. Who even wants to live in a house? Diogenes slept in a barrel and that didn’t stop him from dropping the illest philosophy in Sinope. I wonder if this is the fault of the J00z or Muslims?

Let’s try another scenario:

Before greentext

I’m twenty-eight years old and I’ve never so much as held hands with a girl.

Oh my god I’m such a failure. What am I doing wrong to deserve such a cruel fate? All of the women around are awful and completely beneath me, but not even they will give me the time of die. Maybe I should go read /r/theredpill or something.

After greentext

tfwnogf (ever)
ayy lmao, >implying I’d want one of these roastie whores anyway. All these normies are just slaves to the vaginal jew. Yes sir, I have truly ascended beyond such degeneracy. With my 27 foot long lamia monstergirl dakimakura, I am a fully superior being experiencing emotional depth that those mortals could not begin to comprehend.

Now to demonstrate how this works with the small stuff.

Before greentext

Hmm, I have this extra pair of sperrys lying around that I could use as indoor shoes

What’s the point? My apartment is smaller than a bangladeshi massage parlor. Why would I even want to wear indoor shoes anyway? This is such a stupid thing to be thinking about. I should be spending more time wallowing in my sorrows and masturbating while using my tears as lubricant.

After greentext

Extra pair of sperrys lying around
Not using them as indoor shoes
Seriously, what kind of pleb doesn’t have a pair of $200 boat shoes to wear around his Cambodian animal husbandry hamlet-sized apartment. The fact that this space is so small only accentuates the self-aware bourgeois pretension of my patrician footwear. I have indoor shoes ngger. Seriously what are you, black or something?

This is how I always think and it’s massively entertaining. You may think that this sort of thinking serves to keep one set in his mediocre circumstances but merely learn to enjoy them, but I’ve found that a spiteful approach to life frequently gives me the impetus to try things that I’d normally be far too passive to participate in since the inertial threshold of effort to enjoyment would otherwise be to high.

Those familiar with Eastern philosophy may realize that this is basically just edgy Buddhism, but I doubt you’ll see many monks advocating it.


wow that guy is a true autist but he is one of the good ones. i mean i would simplify it to dont sweat the small stuff or the big stuff. that guy is a good writer and thinker tho and deserves a decent white 3d waifu. i dont know about any of that anime shit he talks about. there are some anime people on there. i am not one of them. i do not give a shit. no 2d waifus, no waifu pillows, none of that shit. i dont care about anime. i dont care if the joo fears the japanese samurai and that japan is racially pure. japan is crazy and fooked up in other ways and i would not want to be there. however it is obvious they are the top asians. if i HAD to bang a young asian gurl it would have to japanese. i would of course not produce “Hapa” elliot rodger offspring.  yes i know his mother was chinese or actually malay i think.

i proposed to shrink the thought that had i been more manly, i could have steer our rel differently. shrink made the good point that what i wanted to be was ASSERTIVE and that All Women are not CHILDREN who need to be TOLD and that not all women are brick walls when you try to communicate with them. well i hope so hahahaha.




i was watching “married at first sight” and at least 2 of the 3 couples were having communication problems where the woman was SHUTTING DOWN and the man was getting frustrated trying to communicate with them. looked real familiar! and it was implied that the man had to do all the work here, and learn how to communicate differently, to make their wife open up to them, to break through that wall.

well how about the wife learn how to communicate differently, namely, not shut down when there husband tries to communicate?

they go see dr pepper (oh wow i just got that dumb joke haha) and neil the bearded beta who i dont think is fully white says he is committed to working on this. his bitch wife says she is indifferent, and is totally ruled by The Hamster. she is not attracted to neil at all, therefore she doesnt have to try. its all up to him. and then when he does the work, she gets resentful and distant to him. she just wants him to Be More Manly.

which is understandable, he’s not super manly. but hes trying. he goes and shoots guns with her father. he looked like a liberal pantywaste who would be afraid of evil white oppressive hateful bigoted punching down guns.

how do leftist gun hating men ever get women? if leftist men are basically very very very unmasculine men.

anyway is it NORMAL for the man to do MORE than the woman? the man has to do all the heavy lifting, the woman shuts down because he’s not reading her mind, he gets understandably frustrated, she becomes “indifferent” and shuts down. then its time to go to the marriage counselor becuase hes not reading her mind and doing what she wants.

like the guy david who is asking for just 15 minutes to talk about Their Rel with his new wife, then she gets frustrated and shuts down because idk lol. and he gets frustrated very understandably. it is worse than pulling teeth. he wants to communicate but she just does want to or know how to! and HES the bad guy for trying!

you cant use logic and communication on women!

maybe communication is a manly masculine thing because its logical. to try to negotiate and fix problems and figure shit out. thats all masculine. they just need to put the wmen in their place.

but women are so damn emotional, i wish they could communicate abotu their emotions better. but its always idk stop bothering me. theyre mad but dont know why theyre mad, other than to know YOU are making them mad. its YOUR fault.

i wish that were not normal, that women had more agency and maturity and communication skills than that.


i honestly do not know.

communication is a masculine thing. therefore men cannot communicate with women logically. really these men need to MAN UP and its funny that neils wifes father told neil that. now mgtow virgins take offense at that and i agree its not the best way to say it. especially to the modern man who has no idea how to be a man!

give them good actionable deliverables. like, just give her a good spanking. put her in her place. next time she shuts down, tell her to stop acting like a BABY and just go in the kitchen and make me a sammich! thats what they WANT even though they cant articulate it! and if you asked them if thats what they wanted theyd say no! they dont know what they want!

they have so little agency, so poor communiation, so little self-knowlege (yet lots of narcissism!) that they dont even know what they want!!!!! and what they do want, theyll tell you they dont want!

is this ALL women, or is this just bad unhealthy toxic women?

it sounds stupid as fook.

i like the Odinist European Ideal, where men and women worked together as a team, they respected each other, and respected each others natural roles, and luved and respected each other.

give her a spanking. tell her to make you a sandwich. essentially act as her FATHER and give her DISCIPLINE to make her stop throwing a childish TANTRUM. loving discipline, but discipline nonetheless.

of course all the dr peppers in the world and LMFT’s wont and cant tell you this!

but i just wish women had a LITTLE more agency, awareness, and maturity than this.

i think about varg v and marie, the perfect traditional family. you think SHE acts like such a fookin RETARD all the time? does varg have to treat her like a CHILD and discipline her all the time? maybe once in a great great great while. but then again she/they have FIVE YOUNG KIDS. i think that forces a woman to become more mature too.

so another possible solution would be, get that woman pregnant NOW. and as soon as she has that baby, put another in her ASAP. then another. none of this take a year off nonsense. I think the experience of being preggers for 18 or more straight months has a PROFOUNDLY POSITIVE effect on a woman.


(site expired, AJG is currently trying to focus on Real Life Activism)

mgtow, not for real white men, by ajg

this gets at why i am moving away from mgtow. that it is just too defeatist, anti-woman, divide and conquer, just the mirror image of feminists, meninists. i cant stop believing that men and women exist to complement each other and be together as a kind of team. a nuclear family. and mgtow divides men from women JUST LIKE FEMINISM DOES.

hehehehe i remember i told That Woman about stuff like MRA and MGTOW and how i used to be into that. maybe she dumped me because she thought all mgtows were pussies. and now whenever she sees a mgtow thing she will think of me and how weak i was and what a piece of shit i am.

i never got a chance to talk to her about my transition AWAY from mgtow towards racial stuff. WELL, i talked about it a LITTLE. I talked about j00s and zionists, i told her about david duke was a decent guy to listen to sometimes, i think i even talked with her once about “white nationalism” hahahaha. so yeah i did talk about these things with her a little. but its kinda hard to have an in depth serious talk when someone never wants to hang out iwth you!

like this MAFS tv show. they were at least still ahnging out with each other, talking small talk to each other, the woman might not be willing to work on their rel, but the woamn was at LEAST willing to go to the marriage counselor with the man.

this was ALL a LOT more than she was willing to do with me. we culdnt even have a 30 minute CONVERSATION. we couldnt even go out to DINNER together. she didnt even want to go to a MOVIE with me. or DINNER. or a walk in the PARK. or a 30 minute TALK.  hey i would have been more than willing to go to a rel counselor too hahaha! i was desperate to do ANYTHING to keep her!

when the bottom line is, we NEVER HAD that kind of serious rel!

well, we DID have a pretty long term friendship! that counted for something i argue!


archive of that hahaha

the reddit thread was in response to AJG’s video ^^^

then AJG made a vieo in response to reddit vvvv



im not sure if mgtow was ALWAYS this bad. i dont think it was. but as the world gets worse, so does mgtow, and in 2016 i believe mgtow is Too Far Gone, and alt-right is the way to go.

but yeah there are more important things than complaining about women, such as women getting raped by rapeugees, yet these mgtows are so bitter and woman hating they end up getting shadenfreude, you reap what you sow bitches etc. this is not the appropriate response!

in other words, the mgtows should be a little MORE of a white knight. i think part of being a MAN is being a white knight, TO AN EXTENT. dont be a white knight when it hurts you. it is becoming ridiculously obvious that these men had bad experiences with horrible women, now they think all women are like that. and truly TOO MANY women are like that due to a horrible culture. many but not all! i just want them to find a good woman already to show them that WOMEN are not the problem. the joos are the problem hahahahahahahahahahaha.

no not just the joos but the elites who create and manage our world and culture and lives. of which the joos are a big part hahaha.

but yeah when you have your own personal problems with wimmin……..that can overshadow more important things in the world and lead you to go mgtow.

anyway never did i ever say stuff to her like “I will K muh self if you leave me” cuz i know thats a really bad thing to say to a wimmin or anyone hahahaha. just wanted to make that clear.

registered for TRS forum.

yeah i just hate that the Quantity AND quality of my mate POOL is shrinking as i grow older hehehehe.

and i hate thinking That Woman was TOO GOOD for me. i wasnt GOOD enough to MERIT a woman THAT GOOD.

she wasnt a piece of shit, but she did a shitty thing, and i AM a pretty omega (gamma?) male, but i hate thinking she was TOO GOOD for me.

ok, she wasn’t too good to be friends with me, but she IS too good to date and fook and luv and have churren w me.

but she luvs badbois and blax because…..she never had a good masculine role model. the end. next chapter plz.

becoming a member of TRS alows me to see the secret standard pool party page, which i was hoping it would! TRS people meet up in real life aka “MEATSPACE” and i think this is fooking GREAT. it only makes sense. there are even a few people in my general area. i should really try meeting up with them!

but yeah. i think damn i will never even BE FRIENDS with such a high value woman again:

25 years old

very few lovers, under 5

no known slut phase



no children

no huge mental craziness

never been raepd/abused

no drug problemz

there were a few yellow flags: no real father, no real stepfather, mother not good with men, one of her very few secs partners was a nonwhite, and something else i dont raelly want to mention here.

but i say yellow flags not red, because in light of her whole person, i was able to look past these non dealbreaking things.

her single mother was/is a decent mother to her as well, takes good care of her children despite not being able to pick a good man.

they say to get better with women, have female friends.

heh welp you might end up falling in luv with them.

also, why should you be friends with degenerate women? women are so degenerate and its a bad influence to hang out and be friends with degenerates. dont hang out with degen losers. you are better than that! so why become friends with a huge crazy slut?

bbbbbecause she might be a good person and a good friend, just has flaws like we all do?

well, does YOUR degeneracy involve gambling with human life?

like it does when women drunkenly, quickly open their uterus to strangers????


i thought of that one while at the fatclub the other day hahahaha.

dont think with the little head, think with the big head.

long time preference. i mean low time preference.

time preference is a great code word “dog whistle” that you are a right wing shitlord. a good signal you can send to other possible shitlords in a public setting.

anyway degen modern women think only with their clitoris. or vag. just in terms of the physical pleasure. with NO REGARD to the fact that there is a baby making uterus at the end of it. which men dont have. which makes secs much much different for men.

currently there is a big raid #NRORevolt of alt right people like TRS and daily stormer and maybe pol raiding national reviews comment sections, i am just watching. it is funny and interesting to watch. seeing super racist stuff on the “moderate cuckservative” website. i am still not sure the point, like why raid a cuckservative site, over a full leftist site, or maybe even a less cucky right wing site like breitbart or taki or whatever. conservative treehouse? they might welcome the traffic and be open to the ideas!

some of the trolls are just stupid and spamming with long nonsense comments that dont really do our/my side any good. others trolls give very insightful or very clever or hilarious comments. i prefer those.

also some of the cucky legit nro regular commenters seem to think We Are leftists from salon or something pretending to be nazis. hehehe.

i am not personally involved in this raid! apparently its best to have a VPN as well as at least 10 disqus accounts ready to go and create them with throwaway mails.


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stuff like that is bretty funny tho




professional snugglers/cuddlers for hire oy vey. i was talking about something like this

heh see moden women think its WEIRD to say lets hang out on friday because thats not spontaneous enough. saying a specific date and time makes it sound like a date, which is CREEPY, because its not casual sex. anything that is not casual sex is creepy and unsexy. only casual sex is sexy. taking human life seriously is unsexy and creepy.  you say lets hang out sometime ahahhaha.

redacted forum thread about doing a degen Practice Gurl

26 yo virgin wants a nondegen trad wife; finds a degen dtf easy whoreslut. should he bang her just to get the experience even though its a degen act and he’s technically anti degen?

yeah i would.

QUOTE from pseudanon guy giving his 2 cents: ”


I’m old, and don’t have enough fingers to count the number of my friends who paid over $1,000 per month in government-mandated child support payments FOR 18 YEARS to some skank they poked in a nightclub parking lot.

Remember: Your semen might be worth (12 x 18 x $1,000) $216,000 to that slut.

“Pulling Out” does not work.”

and you thought sperm was CHEAP! hahahaha

but the sperm only gets is value FROM the value of the egg.

still thats 216 GRAND out of YOUR pocket. that is the value of human life hahaha.

another guy ” The worst thing of all is not the getting repeatedly tested because you’re paranoid and have reason to be, or the suspicion the strange guy in your hallway at night is a silently enraged cuckold hunting his woman’s lover, or the fear a woman you can’t possibly be with is gestating your child… those drove me insane… the worst part is breaking with them. One breakup is devastating for any normal person, even if he hates the bitch. I didn’t know how to live anymore, didn’t eat, got down to a weight I hadn’t been at in my adult life, developed a hundred yard stare and I could never focus at work. ” [me: shit, sounds like HE got dumped by someone he luved, but rather he was guilty about merely dumping a b he did not luv!]

he then recommends traditional longterm monog rels.

the OP is possibly a troll but i gave him the benefit of the doubt because i could totally relate with his question.

redacted thread: how many young women are ACTUALLY unmarriageable/ruined? how many good women are still out there?

best forum either. young college man has some of the same concerns i have, that white women are disgusting slut mudsharks and that easily 50% of youngish women have Coal Burned, and only 1/100 is marriageable.

others try to give him a more positive outlook that its not THAT bad, and that he is just poisoned by the ((((media)))) which rubs its greedy hands when white boys think such things. a mgtow in training. divide and conquer men and women.

the enemy WANTS to demoralize us and discourage us and make us feeeeel defeated. defeatism. so we become mgtow omega neet failures who cant even make babies with sluts.