118/152 days since hhahaha.
you dont contact the person who misjudged YOU, got YOU wrong, did YOU wrong, screwed YOU, and BEG THEM to change their mind! or do you? leaning towards no. i have never been in this position before, and i sure as hell cant put myself in her position either, hard to empathize with someone who is wrong about YOU and screwing YOU over.
ok. so she basically told me GET THE FOOK OUT OF MY LIFE. she BLOCKED me, saying she didnt just want to not talk to me, but she didnt even want to LISTEN to me.
would i really want to be in a REL with someone who I was always BEGGING “I really didnt do anything wrong, please dont hate me, youre wrong, please reconsider, please listen to me, please dont throw me out of your life”, whenever she thought i did something wrong, even though i didnt do anything wrong????? fook no!
someone i was constantly trying to convince that they shouldnt hate me, please dont hate me, this really isnt a bad thing, this is a terrible misunderstanding, well yeah i mean you understand that i like you, but you dont understand how this isnt a betrayal! its not a horrible thing!
is it REALLY MY job to convince them of that? of convincing them that the things they think are bad, are really good?
again ive never done what she’s done before. i never held a grudge again someone like this, against someone who was reaching out and pleading and begging saying please dont hate me. there was always coldness on both sides.
mah boyz nationalist “RAC” band has a slow sad song where he growl sings mournfully. nice! i dont say his name because i am not sure he wants people to know its him in this band. however he might be coming out of the nationalist closet in 2015. great time to do it! its about time!
anyway. if you have to always convince the person not to hate you, that the shit youre doing is not really wrong, but they find it atrocious and want to throw you away for it and are always getting unspeakably mad at you for INVALD reasons and not talking to you …… well it doesnt sound like a good healthy rel with a future. and it doesnt sound like they really luv you.
their heart is not open to you WHATSOEVER.
i am still under the SPELL.
i mean, what the fook would i say to her? write her an email after 118 days, that she either blocks, deletes, doesn’t read, doesnt respond to, saying, hey havent contacted you in 118 days, are you ready to apologize yet? cuz i still NEED you, im not even close to being over you, and youre probably fooking guys because playing with human life is no big deal.
its just so weird and so disturbing that WOMEN would not take sex seriously. they have the most to lose! 100 / 0!!!!!
i am really closest to christians in muh view on sex, just need to find a devout christian gurl already and hope she doesnt try to convert me beyond going to church once a week hahahaha.
i mean shes shown NO intention to commuincate or reconcile. she STILL holds a GRUDGE against me. why is it MY job to convince her when shes in the wrong? is it THAT worth having a good ending? pulling teeth just to get her to reject me nicely? cuz she’s not gonna change her mind and be like she LOVES me now. then she would be more open and willing and make a damn effort and lift a damn finger.
i wonder what she did with the nice present and also the “dead giveaway” card i gave her last xmas. just throw them away? leave them? if she HATES me, shouldnt that be a reminder of the person who “BETRAYED” her and whom she hates? so she shouldnt have it somewhere where its easy to find? or maybe it will make her think of the guilt for treating me badly?
i saw a cute gurl at church that i could possibly get feelings for……but she was like 18 years old! pretty soon i will be old enough to be an 18 year old gurls FATHER hahahaha.
anyway she certainly didnt luv me….she didnt show me kindness at all! she said get out of my life forever! im not even willing to listen to you!
and i still want to “CONVINCE” her that shes mistaken?
yeah because i am still under the SPELL.
it would be different if we had been Dating for like 2 years and she misunderstood me and stopped talking to me. then shed probably be more willing to talk to me in the future after “cooling off.”
but that was not the case. theres nothing to really “go back to.” i dont want to go back to being just friends. i am ok with the rel ending, because we want diff things. thats fine. just dont HATE me because of it.
well as a beta male the best i can get is a beta female: ie, old, trashy, single mom, crazy, ugly, fat, a bad mate in other words. was she too alpha for me? out of my league? the fact that she had “too much baggage” (which is what i said when i first met her), but then later decided was not dealbreaking baggage; was baggage i could easily live with; maybe i need a “beta woman” with some “baggage” so she can sink down to my league hahahahaha.
anyway she did the equivalent of throwing me out and changing the locks. i just dont like being hated like this. for stupid wrong reasons. by someone i dont hate. i have never been in this position before. and i hope to never be again. i can barely live through this one. it has killed me and set me back YEARS and made me an even huger pathetic loser. its horrible. didnt just ruin this YEAR, may well ruin next year as well.
i wish i had never met her, or wish she had jsut gotten married to the first boifran, but HE wanted to be done with her!
and i think she still doesnt hate HIM. she is disappointed he didnt luv her as much. but she doesnt hate him. well of course not! she luved him! i wish she could have shown me a little of that luv. in a WAY she DID, she was REALLY REALLY nice to me, and i came to really like that. then she was REALLY REALLY mean to me. and the bad ultimately outweighed the good.
google she hates me because i love her
results: you cant make someone love you
contacting her again would just irritate her and make her hate me more
her getting so ridic offended by me liking her is HER hangup/issue, i cant fix it or convince her.
if you luv them let them go hhahahaha and if it was really meant to be, they will come back. welp looks like it wasnt meant to be then cuz she aint coming back hahaha.
heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh interesting forum, a few of muh favourite things there
ok. so on MW new vidya, i lap these up like a white woman laps up black coch, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFW9BWlBc-0 a commenter says something like indigenous alpha women go to the indigenous alpha men, indigenous beta women go to the exogenous alpha men, while the indigenous beta men get exogenous beta women. in terms of trashy (beta) white women being “poached” by black men with confidence and swagger and charisma and muh dick, and beta white men have to go outside of their race for a mate because women of their own white race dont like them, think they are wimpy pussies.
did she treat with THAT much disrespect because i was THAT much of a beta? and its fine to be Just Friends, but the idea of the Huge Beta getting feelings is SO repulsive, its instinctly repulsive and disgusting, like bestiality or incest or child raep?
well if an animal fell in luv with me, i would still treat it kindly and say sorry animal but i just dont feel that way. treat people the way you want to be treated. golden rule.
anyway thank god for those articles, convinced me not to contact her. when somebody hates you and wants you to stay away……you stay away. if they want to come back, THEY have to come back. if you keep bugging them they will just continue to hate you. right or wrong. in this case horribly wrong hahahaha.
well i hate that she saw it as bugging. fook why cant you just talk or hang out with the person who was once your friend?
hanging out is not a bad thing! getting feelings is not a bad thing or betrayal!
she saw things for what they were but had the WRONG REACTION to them.
so im supposed to respect her feelings when her feelings are so stupid and wrong and hurtful to me?
well i wont respect that but i will ACCEPT that in that i would never FORCE her to do anything. she can have her own free will even if it is hurtful and horrible. freedom to destroy me. hahaha.
just using google maps to follow the vistula river in poland, and stumble upon auschwitz hahahaha i guess its really not that shocking. auschwitz was a town ever since 1200
i dont think its worth being hated over. she is wrong to hate me. so, should i contact her friends or family and ask them to take my side? that would probably make her hate me too.
its just her damn issue.
whenever i hated someone, it was for much more valid reasons: they had DUMPED me, not they were in LOVE with me!
i mean maybe i shouldnt have HATED them, and certainly my hate died down, but its UNDERSTANDABLE to be angry at someone who rejects you.
so i guess its Similarly Understandable to be Angry at someone who likes you, but you dont like back, because it presents and awkward, frustrating, stupid situation?
fine, but not this much! AND the person being dumped has license to be angrier than the person being liked! in fact, many times, the person being liked is not super mad! but they say awwww and have sympathy for the person they have to reject!
she rejected me so hatefully because i was a beta. REBUTTED: i was a BIGGER beta with the previous woman, and SHE rejected me in a very nice, mature, respectly, kind, awesome way! It was AWESOME being rejected by you, thank you SO much hahahaa.
russia directly borders north korea for about 5 miles. the nearest large city is vladivostok. so we have a european country, in the eastmost of asia, where “the majority of the population is russian or ukrainian” ie white hahahahaha.
interesting to see white cities in areas you think of as nonwhite hahaha. white white white white i am obsessed with whites. this is my body telling me REPRODUCE. HAVE CHILDREN. YOU ARE GETTING OLD. HOW HAVE YOU NOT REPRODUCED YET.
so Despair is very maladaptive to life, so why does it pass on in the genes? because in the past, most people had children YOUNG, so they had several children before their first despair episode came on at age 19 or 20 or so.
and also women. women will always reproduce, so i blame all the shitty genetic stuff on them hahahahaha.
like are there cute young white girls in IRKUTSK for example hahahaha . probably yes.
google nightclubs in irkutsk hahahahaha
every city is gonna have a univeristy and near that univ there will be bars and clubs and pubs where 20-25 year old women will be out there bending over selling their sperm sewers to the most fun, secsy, masculine, dominant men hahahahahahahahah
well certainly a city of 500000 people like irkutsk!!!!!
10000 not so sure. 100000 maybe not even. 300000 getting warmer.
they say there are TEN THOUSAND people in the WORLD at any given moment who would be a perfect match for you. that you could fall in lub with.
uhhhhhhhh it sounds like a lot……but its really not. with 7 billion people, its amazing anyone could ever meet ANY ONE of those 10000. and i have met like 6 of them. i am counting women that i fell in real luv with and been heartbroken by, did stupid things over, took a long time to get over. i might get rid of one of them hahahaha. the criteria is heartbreak or stupid shit.
so if finns are mongolians, what about estonians hahahahaha. in the white racist community there is this big conspiracy that finns are really asians hahahaha. just super light skinned. they are not full “europids”. i dunno i would prob have keeds with a cute finnish gurl hahahaha.
maybe all this heartbreak is a sign that i need to not just look for white gurls, but white girls that are closer to my own white subset. like there are celts and anglo saxons and germans and slavs and balts and scandinavians and gauls and iberians and scythians and all that. maybe a gurl within my own subset of Whites would understand me best, and luv me, and not throw me under the bus.
bbbbbut there are plenty of alpha males in my proud ethnicity. so i could get a beta woman then. like a woman with no father, but she didnt become a slut or a single mom hahahahaha. see its hard to find that “Higher Beta” woman. cuz sluts and single mothers, thats TOO beta.
yeah but what have I done with my life? im a huge beta too!
yeah. shit. just realize someone has feelings. see that as a beautiful thing, dont get angry at them for it, and reject them gently. appreciate that somebody has feelings for you. shit i would be FLATTERED.