A BETA WITH FEELINGS / ABSOLVED OF ALL ACCOUNTABILITY / IGNORE IT AND HOPE IT GOES AWAY

1020

well had dreams last night but dont think she was in them thank god.

google dumped for no reason

you never get dumped for NO REASON! if it seems like theres no reason, most likely she just LOST INTEREST in you BECUASE you were too beta! The Root Cause is YOU being Defective!

i am ALL FOR taking personal responsibility, not shirking responsibility, but this counts for women too. they cant just blame it on the guy for being beta.

BUT THATS THE WAY WOMEN ARE naturally: if you are beta to them, they lose attraction and dump you. its that simple.

well we never had an actual rel so…..

but i still Changed The Game by sending out signals i wanted to Date her, and then she thought EW. GROSS. UGH. he’s WAYYYYY too beta/clingy/needy/weak/sensitive/girly/unmanly/etc for me to date him! he was ok to be friends with but never to date!

so she loses respect when this weak lesser beta DARES to think he could ever date her!

and of course i make excuses for my beta behavior: job stress was eating away at me, stress of not Resolving our shit in the Rel was eating away at me.

when i say resolve, i mean simply both of us communicate and agree to disagree hahahaha.

well i wasnt AS beta when dealing with woman2012, i dont think. this time i was beta as fook because i felt weak and at the breaking point. that feel when you want moral support from someone who once gave it to you but they dont want to give it any more. because you were too beta? well you were always kinda beta but now you committed the crime of getting feelings. a beta with FEELINGS, oh no.

to think that a woman would care more for an abuser or cheater as long as they werent a beta niceguy! but she would TRY to work things out with an abuser or cheater rather than a beta.

if you WANT a woman to dump you because she is subpar…..act like a beta and she will dump you mercilessly. i can give you lessons hahahaha. 12 bucks an hour hahahaha.

the nicest, kindest, warmest, most virtuous woman. who gave you the sweetest taste of Actual Real Female Kindness. can turn into the biggest stone cold bitch when you turn beta.

come on. if you want me out of your life, have enough preschool level empathy to realize i dont want YOU out of my life, therefore this is gonna HURT me, and dont you want to minimize my pain? youre the one that wants me out. try to kick me out nicely. when people get FIRED, the people firing them usually try to break the news in a nice way.

BE NICE WHEN YOU ARE BREAKING BAD NEWS.

dont add insult to injury by giving bad news in the worst way possible, like the person DESERVES to be heartbroken.

thats why sometimes i think god damn she NEEDS TO KNOW how WRONG this is. she cant live her life like this. she cant hurt other poor beta saps like me like this! i need to do it for them!

if i were more of a psycho i would do something crazy. like confront her at her house and then blow my brains out right in front of her, saying “this is all your fault, never forget this, you are 100% to blame for this” kablammmmo and then she would never be able to erase that from her mind and her life would be ruined forever hahahaha.

see you only get these ideas when you really LOVE the woman. this is what Real Heartbreak looks and feels like. you feel like you cant go on. like you will never get over the person.

its  just so stupid to see them TURN on you like this. over just a few months. once they were a Close Friend, now you dont even know them any more, and they dont care about you any more. the nicest person has become the meanest person. a stranger.

i guess i should take comfort in there nothing new here. this has happened to millions of people. MILLIONS. literally. possibly billions.

wawawawawaw how come women cant treat betas with respect? like human beings.

because women are programmed by nature to treat betas like the worst pieces of shit ever, drive them to k’ing themselves hahahaha.

well ok. so lets say a church or a family wants to teach women to be Virtuous, how would they teach girls to Reject Betas? be christlike, dump them like jesus would, what would JESUS do, he’d say, I’m SORRY, you’re not a bad person, this isnt your FAULT, i just cant do a relationship with you, i am called to be the son of god. dont be heartbroken. theres nothing you could have done. you’ll find the right person someday.

how do fathers advise their daughters to dump beta niceguys?  probably in a similar way. dont be mean abotu it. dont be a BITCH. be nice and gentle when you are breaking someones heart. that is tough enough.

i even wrote, please talk about this with somebody, talk to this person or that person or that person (all three sensible people who would advise her, dont be a BITCH.)

of course all she needs to say is “he was making me feeeeeeeeel weeeeeeird idk lol” and thats all it takes, to absolve her of all acountability, to dump me like a huge bitch, to make me the bad guy, and her the good guy. because i was weird and she didnt feel comfortable. i think that is a fooking COP OUT.

also women shouldnt FOOK guys they dont KNOW, for example guys they JUST MET. how do you know he’s not a huge fookin weirdo????!?!?!?!?!?!?!? oh wait it doesnt matter. just have S with him and then you can always dump him later if he turns out to be a weirdo. which knowing my luck, he probably will be wawawawawa i always pick the wrong men hahahaha lol idk

women act like this until they are THIRTY. this is OBSCENE.

google still cant get over ex

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/finally-get-ex-even-feels-impossible-hesaid/

yes GMP are a bunch of beta manginas but i dont care at this point, i will take any help i can get

If you expect your emotional suffering to decrease in a linear A to B straight line, you’re in for a rude awakening. –  yep i always do this. becuase i want to be over it ASAP.

You may be emotionally and psychologically addicted to your ex because they were your only source of a certain emotion, thought, or feeling that you only got from them. – See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/finally-get-ex-even-feels-impossible-hesaid/#sthash.DbaYnbi6.dpuf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201310/why-can-t-i-get-over-my-ex

A year after his break-up, a young man explained to me that he would imagine his ex being proud of him when he accomplished a difficult task. The internal image was supportive, proud and dependable. Like a child’s teddy bear or blanket imbued with the special ability to comfort him, this young man’s creative capacity to love, awakened in the relationship, endowed the internal image of his ex with the power to help him through his struggles. The internal image signified the loving relationship he and his former partner created during the best of times—it was a representation of his ability to love.

ok that makes sense……so how do you STOP it hahahahaha

http://nypost.com/2014/06/28/cant-get-over-your-breakup-you-may-be-an-exaholic/

yep thats me, i use words like “DEVASTATED” and Just Cant Get Over It

http://www.exaholics.com/

so use this 12 step inspired program to get over your Ex. i think its free.

http://jezebel.com/how-to-get-over-an-ex-by-obsessing-about-them-even-mor-1633093045

of course jezebel is HORRIBLE but this article is ok.

so the dumper mourns the death of the rel while they are still in the rel, right in front of you. SO WHY DONT THEY TRY TO WORK ON IT WITH YOU? you see them getting all distant and cold and they refuse to talk to you or hang out with you or make shit better. becuase you are a raging alcoholic hahahahaha. because you cant stop doing the Obvious Thing that is Obviously Single Handedly Ruining the Rel. like being a Huge Beta hahahaha. she doesnt NEED to talk to you about it. if you cant SEE WHAT YOURE DOING, its hopeless hahahaha.

http://nypost.com/2015/10/16/why-men-are-such-crybabies-over-breakups/

men take longer than woment ot get over Post Relationship Grief (PRG), author uses the word “thirsty” like a pussy but i will forgive him….well maybe not, this guy really is a huge pussy. but i dont doubt men take longer than women to Get Over It. or at least i do hahahaha. (NO ONE KNOWS “THIRST” LIKE A MAN!!!!!!!! SO OF COURSE MEN ARE “THIRSTY”!!!!!)

i like this exaholics thing. might even sign up!

hey im not the one who did something absolutely ridiculous. i was trying to talk to her. she flushed me down the crapper. that is so out of line, so ridiculous. wanting to talk or hang out is reasonable. totally throwing away someone youve known for almost 3 years is totally unreasonable and ridiculous and insane.  i was unreasonable sure but she was WAY MORE unreasonable.

lesson learned: always ask the woman whats wrong because she wont take the initiative to talk about things that are wrong, shell just dump you. she’ll probably dump you anyway after you talk about it, but at least you tried, and can have the clear conscience of it wasnt your fault.

why didnt i just send her an email or leave her a 20 minute voicemail of me babbling?

because i thought we were gonna honestly hang out some day.

but i was in desperate denial by that point, because we hadnt hung out in MONTHS. we usually hung out once a month or so BEFORE, but now we would go months and months and months?

it has been 63 days since i last initiatied contact with her (email4), and like 96 days since the shit went down. i am still tempted daily to contact her. like i could just say one thing that might give me a 1% chance to convince her to respond to me.  i have to take a chance on luv. i have to go ALL IN. its the things you dont do that you regret hahahahaha.

but havent i done enough? kind of, yes. and any more would be stalking. or PUSHING hahahahaha. i cant push her any more. you can lead the horse to water but you cant make them drink. i led the horse to the water months and months ago. i just couldnt push them to drink.

women are ALWAYS texting and hanging out with Ex Boifrans they cant get over.  they are the WORST at no contact. they are in CONSTANT contact with Exes.

i guess this is what makes you think she would be willing to contact YOU!

but shes not hung up on YOU, she doesnt want YOU back, she wants CHAD THUNDERC0CK back!!!!!!

that word has been the word of the week, it brings a smile to my face, one day i would like to BE CHAD THUNDERC0CK to some gurl. ideally a decent woman i could be faithful to, who would be faithful to me, that i could bring home to introduce to family, but yet i am not a total beta pussy and i give her good chad thunderc0ck style poundings on the reg too.

shit i felt so close and trusting and knowing of her, i was actually considering having her meet muh family! whereas with Average women, you think PSHAW! this dirty unvirtuous skank is so beneath the league of being able to meet muh fam! she WISHES she could meet my fam!

there was another metric i came up with, do you prefer not to see pictures of this person?

some of The Women, i can see a picture of them and think MEH. no reaction. but others i just say, NOPE, would prefer not to ever see a picture of them ever again. and w15 is gonna be one of those i think. most of them ARE.  i think it indicates True Luv.

and True Luv definition, is that it risks True, Real Heartbreak!

making yourself available to the Most Positive Feeling, also makes yourself Vulnerable to the MOST HORRIBLE FEEL EVER.

never forget that one chad thunderc0ck hahahaha.

i dunno. it just hurts to have a REAL friend and then to lose them well before you are ready. then you are left with a gaping hole in your heart and life that, before you knew them, you just figured you would never meet somebody that special, they didnt exist, you werent capable of Intimacy and Closeness and Specialness.

then you meet them and your heart eventually opens up and starts to work again and pours sweet luv and oxytocin and dopamine, then they throw you away, and you still have those chemicals, but they arent around any more, so its “rejection frustration” or whatever. theyre gone, but the chemicals are still there, so you feel abandoned and heartbroken. and it takes fooking FOREVER for the chemicals to die off apparently!!!!! so that you quit your job because you see HER there, and sign up for exaholics.com hahahaha.

well the job truly was a nightmare. im still thinking that could be the Silver Lining in all this. is that it forced me to quit a job that was slowly killing me!

ok nice 4.4 miler

i tried to empathize, to think of this from HER point of view, but i just couldnt. i have never DUMPED anyone before! i never had anyone fall in one sided love with ME! if i did, id LIKE TO THINK i would say, listen do you have something you want to talk about? do you have feelings for me? if so, im sorry but i dont have them back. maybe for your own health we should not hang out then. i dont mean to hurt you but i know this will hurt. im sorry to hurt you but thats my final answer, i dont have feelings and i probably never will. you have to start getting over this now. we can have a series of long talks and emails to help you get closure, but i just cant have feelings for you. i am sorry. its nothing you did. its not your fault. its my fault, because i cant get feeligns for you. i dont hate you, if you hate me, thats understandable.

but what if i just thought OH GOD my friend has FEELINGS for me, im just gonna IGNORE IT AND HOPE IT GOES AWAY.

IGNORE IT AND HOPE IT GOES AWAY.

thats EXACTLY what she did. and it didnt go away. so she could either talk about the issue, or never talk about it. it got to the point where never talking about it meant never talking TO me ever again.

the god damn admins at exoholics have not approved my profile yet! well the forums and everything there is private. you have to be APPROVED before you can log in. maybe i could get a job with them hahahaha. but not in anything Web or Computers related hahahaaha. cuz fook that shit.

some people are real Tech Support Personalities. they are anal as fook and think they are smarter than everyone else. i am not one of these people. well i do think im smarter than everyone else, but i dont have the arrogance when dealing with computer shit. then im like yep im just as confused as you are, arent you glad you got me. well if we cant get anywhere in 20 minutes, hang up and call back and hoep you get somebody BETTER hahahaha.

in no other job is it SO HARD to meet your Quality Metrics. and in some places people get FIRED. you get fired from the shitties job because you cant mee unreasonable standards. and you just honestly want to HELP people but you CANT because you dont KNOW how to help them, you cant FIGURE OUT how to help them, you cant get level 2 to help you help them, you cant get permission to help them, you dont even know if you need permission to help them because you dont know what youre doing. they are calling you for help and its blind leading the blind. it is VERY nerve wracking. i dont know how i survived 1 year. and it was a damn WOMAN that forced me out!

well the job always sucked, the woman was the damn CATALYST. where i just stood up and said NOPE. I’M DONE. CANT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS SHIT. THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS. THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR. IVE HAD ENOUGH. I CANT TAKE ANY MORE. NO MO MASSA, NO MO!!! PLEASE MASSA! UNCLE!! HOW MUCH CAN ONE PERSON TAKE.

this is not unusual for Call Centers. you are just ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE, & IMA BOUT TO BREAK!!!

and i think my place was above average for Call Centers! It was no comcast thank god!!!!!

google is it abusive to try to talk to someone

this turned into google is it abusive to ignore someone hahahahaha got a lot there

http://www.no2abuse.com/index.php/articles/comments/silent-abuse-the-mind-game-by-teresa-cooper

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145

QUOTE

he silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight. Often, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of control.

The target, who may possess high emotional intelligence, empathy, conflict-resolution skills, and the ability to compromise, may work diligently to respond to the deafening silence. He or she may frequently reach out to the narcissistic person via email, phone, or text to resolve greatly inflated misunderstandings, and is typically met with continued disdain, contempt, and silence. Essentially, the narcissistic person’s message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.

END QUOTE

http://thenarcissisticlife.com/the-narcissists-silent-treatment/

so she was a NARCISSIST? if anything she seemed like the antithesis of a narcissist, almost egoless. if anything, I would be the narcissist!!!!!!

everybody is a LITTLE narcssistic, and she seemed less narcissistic than average! way less! selfless and giving!

and they do it to control? but she ALREADY HAD all of the control!!!!! she hardly needed any MORE control!

http://www.divinecaroline.com/love-sex/emotional-abuse-psychological-abuse

soul murder baby. she was murdering my soul with psychological abuse.

i wasnt abusing HER, she was abusing ME hahahahahahaha

but i thought i was abusing her!

what a cunning and baffling disease hahahahaha

i dont think she was doing it intentionally. of course how many narcissists do? 50%? more? less?

well i still dont think she is a narcissist! she is more of an avoider than a narcissist.

also this allows her to shift the blame onto me. im the bad guy, therefore she doesnt need to talk to me.

http://www.no2abuse.com/index.php/articles/comments/silent-abuse-the-mind-game-by-teresa-cooper

yeah i already pasted this but this is a good article, good comments, however i dont think my “abuser” was FULLY AWARE what they were doing. but damn wouldnt THAT be horrible!

did she want to do soemthing HORRIBLE to me to FORCE me to take her off the high pedestal i had her on?

maybe, i will never know.

i wonder if she did this because her BF did it to her?

because her father abandoned her? more likely hahahahaha.

but i dont think she even really knows what she was doing.

also i didnt give her much of a chance to continue the Silent Treatment because i left the job soon after. but  i did send her a few emails begging her to talk or respond to me.  of course nothing happened there.

but i cant tell her that what shes doing is bad and potentially abusive because she will never listen to me hahahaha.

hopefully a mature adult in her life could tell her its a bad thing to do. but she probably told them i was Being Creepy so that justified Silent Treatment from her!

ITS OK TO GIVE SILENT TREATMENT IF HES BEING CREEPY!!!!!!

of course the problem is EVERYTHING falls under the damn umbrella of CREEPY nowadays, its impossible NOT to be creepy!!!!!

maybe all she knows is abandonment, pain, and loss, so that is all she can give people!

but i KNOW thats not true, she can give good stuff too. she used to give some of that good stuff to me. she used to be very nice to me. i liked it a lot when she was nice to me. and then i used that to fuel my imagination of what a Nice, Loving, Caring, Supportive Gurlfran she would be. but holy shit that did not happen! and in the end she took away that warmth and niceness and became a mean cold bitch and it was heartbreaking.

no job will ever train you. they will throw you in front of abusive customers with no training, and if you dont figure it out fast enough, they will fire you. so you have to beg, borrow, steal, lie, bullshit, deceive, bait and switch, in order to survive at first. just cuz you hate facing customers and not knowing what to do. shit i would tell the customers stay away from this company and take your money to our competitors. dont buy from this company, they really dont care about you.

the only way to hold these k1kes accountable is to stop giving their damn company money!

the only way to hold women accountable is…… i have no idea. they will just find another man to ABUSE and break HIS heart hahahaha and NEVER learn. maybe make a few babies with a few chad thundercox hahahahaha. have babies with guys you only know for a week, yet throw out people you have known for 3 years. come on.

IGNORE IT AND WAIT FOR IT TO GO AWAY.

well weve all done this to some degree. not to a person, this badly, though.

well did you ever have a friend where it just wasnt working out? and you just stop responding enthusiastically and hope they stop calling or texting you and eventually they do? and probably theyre not too butthurt?

like there was a guy at the job where we became sort of friendly and occasionally exchange emails, i gave him my phone number not because i wanted him to call me all the time but basically to show i thought he was a good guy, but i didnt really want to become friends with him, plus he is busy as fook working like 90 hours a week, but i think hes a good guy, but i dont want to be super close with him. anyway it is inevitable that we will drift apart and neither of us will be too hurt by it, but i will always remember him favorably!

well theres a BIG difference between me and him, and me and HER! i was a lot closer to her, and she had expressed more closeness to me. it wasnt ALWAYS THIS one sided, in other words. there was a sense of two sided ness when things were good, and during that time, she was warm to me, and generally very nice to me, and i liked that.

it wasnt like i was ALWAYS in one sided luv with her, and we NEVER hung out, and she was NEVER nice to me.

i honestly used to be just friends with her, and we hung out semi regularly (i wonder if we hung out MORE if that would have accelerated things? and because i didnt want to accelerate things, i didnt push to hang out MORE, plus she was having problems with her boifran. but she was ALWAYS having PROBLEMS of some sort. and when i did want to hang out more, then we stopped hanging out AT ALL.)

i SWEAR i would have talked about The Issue if we DID hang out! that was the main reason i wanted to hang out! i didnt want to talk about this AT WORK. i couldnt talk about anything serious AT WORK. even if we were on break. right in front of the fooking building.

but in hindsight i should have TOLD her, right in front of the fooking building.

but i believed her, like a fool, when she said we would hang out “SOON.” or “NEXT MONTH.” and then i would have my precious Talk.

when she was just thinking, ignore it and hope it goes away. put it off, postpone it, and maybe he’ll get over it, get the hint, stop asking.

shit.

 

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