april fools? this is no foolin, aint no motherfookin game motherfooker. this is real life, real pain, real heartbreak.
anyway i figure this is gonna take a LONG time and be VERY painful because it WAS true real luv. if i got over this QUICKLY, that would mean it wasnt real. well it was real. so it is only right and just that it takes a long time.
not like these promiscuous whores who take 99 cox and they BURN OUT their OXYTOCIN RECEPTORS, and are unable to connect with a person.
i think men get oxytocin too, but women probably get it stronger. so its all the more disgusting when a woman has promiscuous secs.
when you fight nature, nature will DESTROY you!
degeneracy can be looked at as SIN if you are a catholic hahahaha everyone is disgusting degenrate sinners
codependent, luv addiction, yep thats me.
i dont think i got truly codependent with her until things started getting bad. then they got REALLY bad.
i think if i had blurted it out before that time, it wouldnt have been so damn bad.
it started out as a pretty healthy rel but then it got extremely unhealthy just because we didnt talk about important shit. that was largely my fault for being afraid to talk about out, but also her fault for avoiding talking about it when i was trying to overcome that fear and actually talk about it. then i couldnt get her to talk about it.
how do you start and keep good communication in a rel? for a while we had good communication, but i was scared t talk about certain things. namely, my feelings and her feelings.
however these things were not so important before I GOT feelings.
if she got feelings and wanted to talk abotu it, i would have been willing! back before i had feelings i mean.
anyway this will take a long ass time to get over BECAUSE it was real. the amount of time and suffering is simply a TESTIMONY to how real and true it was. it SHOULD take a long time to get over, or else i would be like a promiscuous whore taking 99 cox. FORCING yourself through A Long Term Process, and permanently fooking up your brain in doing so.
you need to treat you OXYTOCIN RECEPTORS/PRODUCERS with respect and not rush them or burn them out……or else they might never produce oxytocin again.
so this is the bright side hahahahaha.
again i dont think for the first 3 months of feelings it was CODEPENDENT. but by not communicating about it, i became more obsessed and codependent. so you HAVE to communicate about shit in a TIMELY manner. or shit gets codependent. meaning obsessive, addictive, and baaaaaadddddddd.
did a nice 4.4 miler on a nice sunday afternoon. just feeling the feelings. the best way thru the pain is right through the damn middle. head on.
the depth of the pain just proves the depth of the luv. serious stuff will not be gotten over quickly.
you know who tries to get over shit quickly and what happens to them? women get their heart brokent then jump into a new rel and are having secs with a new guy just to distract them. then 99 guys later, they never get over the first heartbreak, and have burnt out all their oxytocin, and have become a horrible sociopath slut.
thats what happens when you dont feel your feelings, and just jump on cock to AVOID feeling feelings!!!!
heh. i listened to some youtube video of a shrink saying “break up dos and donts” and they advise to do it in person and to take a lot of time for the other person to have their say. to realize it IS going to hurt.
if it DOESNT hurt, something is wrong. extreme pain is NORMAL!
anyway they said that the dumpee feels the most pain right away, but the dumper can also feel the pain LATER. hehehe. GOOD. i HOPE she feels guilt for dumping me in such a disrespectful way. and then comes back to me cuz she decides shes in luv with me and then we live happily ever after, and she becomes my faithful student in learning How 2 COmmunicate good. i will school her in how to communicate. first thing you gotta have is the willingness to talk, and listen, and shit even write letters or emails. i acknowledge that sitting there with the person is an emotionally loaded situaiton, and you may forget to say things, or say things you dont mean. for this reason i encourage supplementing the in-person talks with letters, emails, and also 20 minute voice recordings of you giving them a good solid monologue without interruption. they can reply wiht a 20 minute recording of their own.
or they can just run off with swarthy badbois and get herpes. then keep dumping them until they find one who is dominant enough to not get dumped, or who just knocks them up and dumps them hahahahahaha.
this is all part of muh pain process hahaha. it involves hate and anger and bitterness.
but if you just blame them and see them as the bad guy, then you become a bitter person, said this one youtube shrink. you have to learn something about how you can keep from getting into this situation in the future.
well i totally did.
- once you get feelings, TELL THEM. fairly damn soon. within 2 or 3 months at the longest. especially if you are or have been pretty good friends up till then.
- if they refuse to meet with you, tell them “WE NEED TO TALK.” “This is not about hanging out, its about TALKING, and something IMPORTANT i need to tell you.
- write them a letter andor email that explains what you want to say in your talk. probably wouldnt hurt to send this even if you do have an in person talk. just to clarify. plus people might not remember everything you said.
- then when they reject you, they can hopefully do it respectfully.
- the whole process is over and done with in 3 months max and hopefully you minimize your pain.
- and avoid falling in damn LOVE with someone who doesnt love you.
- DONT FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT LOVE YOU.
and that was the bad thing about waiting so long. is it gave me more time to fall deeper in love with somebody who didnt love me.
so i guess you SHOULD tell them as SOON as you have any INKLING.
- tell them as soon as you have an INKLING. tell them “i dont know for sure, but i might be starting to get feelings for you, and i dont want them to turn into full blown feelings unless you think you could have feelings for me too.”
- always communicate about her feelings to you, and your feelings towards her. BEFORE you get feelings! and say you gotta be aware that eventually you could develop feels some day. it happened before and it turned out distastrous….but it didnt have to be so damn distastrous, if you have good communication, early.
- that is, dont close the door on feelings just because youre friends! i think this is the best way for feelings to be! but it does need to be handled maturely.
- ask her if she has feelings for you, and tell her to tell you IMMEDIATELY if she starts to feel any feels even maybe. and that you will do the same.
i didnt know any of this, becuase i never got feels for a female friend. never thought i could. well these are the valuable lessons i learned.
i suppose if she loved me, OR if she were more mature, OR if she also knew these things, she could help me learn these lessons, rather than just ABANDONING me and leaving me to figure things out all by myself. it could have been a cooperative, collaborative effort, but nooooooooooooooo. i dont think she was that wise, to be honest. she was an emotional relational empathic infant. very immature.
i was just so overjoyed she was not a promsicuous whore, that i couldnt believe she could be Emotionally Immature in OTHER ways which could damage the rel.
i was just so overjoyed to know an attractive young women who had not been with 100 guys!
doesn’t mean they will know how to communicate with you!
now, a tangent. Ethical Sluts pride themselves on communication and boundaries. this would be the one thing i would fully agree with them on. that constant open honest direct communication is a great thing, as well as respecting and communicating your boundaries.
“boundaries” is kinda a confusing idea. i agree its not a clear word. not a clear boundary hahahaha. IMHO a boundary is simply when something hurts your feelings. and it can be crossed by a person doing, or NOT doing something.
they dont need to be aggressively invading you or taking advantage or attacking you. they can be passive aggressive or withdrawing or pulling away or distancing or avoiding you! those are all ways of pushing your boundaries.
so your responsibility is to say, “I feel hurt or disrespected when you refuse to hang out or talk to me. I feel my boundary is being crossed. Lets talk about that. I know we can work this out. It would mean a lot to me if you could Respect Muh Boundary Please. and I will do the same for you. tell me about some of YOUR boundaries.”
there you go. women who have 99 sex partners do not have communication skills THIS good. people who have lived together for 5 years do not have comm skillz this good. damn.
valuable lessons from a breakup
sourced from reddit thread:
ok the reddit thread is short and sucks, cant believe somebody got paid to write a huffpo article based on a reddit thread that as so shitty
1. “A relationship involves two people. I used to put all the responsibility on myself whenever something would go wrong. When her actions would hurt me, I’d think about myself and what I could have done better. In the end, I stayed in that relationship way too long.”
oh god i am hooked on reading THOUGHT CATALOG and girly articles about Luv and also Your First After College Full Time Job and how to survive its soul crushing ness hahahaha
awful article with great comments lol
google: how to learn from a breakup
i let myself feel angry and hateful things, even super duper hateful monstrous things.
then i say, I FORGIVE HER, and then Dear LORD please help me forgive her and let go of this pain and hate.
all these dumb articles written by dumb bitches about how heartbroken THEY are after DUMPING a guy. HA!
perfect Hamsterization for the guilt that its right for them to feel, because deep down they KNOW its wrong to shirk responsibility like a cowardly child; to avoid working towards a resolution; to avoid any communication. it would be more respectable to just tell the truth and say the guy doesnt give them Vag Tingles, and they prefer to dump a long term rel rather than work on it or communicate, so they can ride the Exciting C0k Carousel. I acknowledge it exists. and it is DISGUSTING.