DEEP IN THE FEELS

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yeah i WILL get over this which is good, but it will also naturally leave a void in muh life where she used to be, so i guess i have not felt this void since say 2012 maybe. getting over the inital shock, but now have to get used to the idea of Life Without Her. damn. not easy.

even before i got feelings for her, there was still the Benefit of Having A Friend and that meant something, that is never easy to lose. she was an Important Person to me before i got feelings!

or was she? during that time i was keep her at a distance because i was worried abotu her getting feelings for me. BUT IT WAS A FRIENDLY DISTANCE! it foreshadowed some of the communication problems because we didnt talk about those things, however i didnt avoid her either. i hung out with her, i responded to her, we had friendly talks about other things. plus i really dont think she had feelings for me, at least nowhere near as strong as the feelings i later got for her.

a FRIENDLY distance, as opposed to the completely UNFRIENDLY distance she was giving me!

great way to end things! damn!

but while we were friends she was a sweet and tender and gentle gurl, feminine in the best possible way, without being overly “girly” in the sense of stupid fashion and such. she did not dress or look like a typical MOdern girly girl but she was sweet and kind and gentle like a traditional woman was. i really appreciated that and certainly it was one of the things that eventually led me to Get Feelings.

but yeah i am not supposed to remember the Good Times too much. just shrink them down and let them disappear. remember the Bad Stuff. that is why the Rel Ended.

like her completely ignoring me and refusing to talk to me, and losing interest in me, and just Stopping Liking Me. what did i do to make you stop liking me? well i got feelings and was Annoying about wanting to hang out. the end.

but yeah i am makign some progress. but now the more long term stuff begins: getting used to life Without Her. life just seems emptier and more drab and less exciting and beautiful and fun, more gray and boring and hopeless hahaaha.

i guess she was MORE fun and exciting when i finally transitioned over and “allowed myself” to Luv her. Maybe I COULD have done that earlier if she hadnt had the long term boifran when i met her! I honestly respect the rel she had with him and wanted them to fix it. only when they ended like a year and a half later, did i start thinking in a different way: well she is now AVAILABLE, and we are good friends, get along well, and she is young, and not ugly, no kids, not a whore, low number, the idea was planted in my head.

THEN the new boifran came along very mysteriously and under the radar and THEN i thought wtf, if him, why not me? and that really sealed the deal.

see i wanted to TELL her all this stuff, kinda just tell her the STORY, but never got the chance. i told the story basically in emails 2 thru 4 but not sure if she read those. MAYBE 2, but not so likely on 3 and 4.

yeah when you have a good thing you hope for it to END in a good way, not the shittiest way ever. oh well life goes on hahahaha.

anyway if you ever have a decent female friend where you ask yourself, what the hell is wrong with me that i do not have feelings for her, then talk to her about it and give it a few months, you can probably GET feels.

assuming:

no long term rel which you sincerely dont want to interfere with.

she is not fat and ugly and old and has kids and you find her blatantly unattractive. that really is important.  cuz i would look at muh female former friend and say you know its not like she is ugly, or fat, or old, or has kids, what the hell is wrong with ME that i dont find her attractive?

well, you will probably get over that sense of “weirdness” once she is out of her Serious Relationship and starting to date someone new, and then you will think “why not me” and then you will be Deep In The Feels before you know it! and then you will be in a World of Pain before you know it! and pray to GOD to take these painful feels away and put the horse back in the barn! put the genie back in the bottle!

heh now reading woman hating comments on websites like women are stupid retarded sluts who do not deserve respect, and i think, yes many times they are, but my female fren wasnt like that, but oh wait we are no longer frens and she rejected muh feelings. so i found the .0001% woman who is good looking AND nice AND young AND not slutty AND not crazy, where even the woman haters would say DAMN you better lock this one UP, well i tried to date her but she was not into it AT ALL.

it hurts moar to get rejected by a decent woman than a total pig slut wearing yoga pants to high school letting all the boys see dat 16 year old ass hole & beef curtainz.

but mah gurl would never wear yoga pants like a huge slut.

well maybe she DOES, i only ever saw her at the job because she STOPPED hanging out with me hahaha.

yeah to go from hanging out, to never hanging out, that sucks. cuz you had something and then you lost it.

now all the sluts call me a woman hater because i use words like slut, and slut shame a bit. well because i thinks its shameful to gamble on you getting preggers like that.

well at this moment i wouldnt mind a slut to s muh d and help me forget about the perfect woman who rejected me.

muh perfect angel!

i fell in luv with her because she was the best woman i knew. i cannot imagine meeting one who is as good or better. wawawawawawawawa. all the other women pale in comparison: sluttier, uglier, older, meaner. wawawawawaw.

or how about i go a few more years being hateful and lonely and then meet another woman who is nowhere near as good as her, but i think she is, just because its been so long since i had any contact with a woman.

fook yeah i still want her to take me back! i am sorry for cheating on you and beating you and ignoring you and forgetting your birthday and never showing affection and making you feel worthless and never communicating and being so distant and never hanging out with you and losing interest you and falling out of luv withyou and …… oh wait hahahahaha.

possibly my problem was i apologized TOO MUCH. i was apologizing because i was desperate to get along with her. but apologizing basically means that you acknowledge being a horrible asshole who was in the wrong; an admission of guilt!!!!!

so i was saying yes master i am just as bad as you think i am! yes i am horrible for wanting to talk about the things that will eventually kill our relship because i couldnt read the stupid signals that you wanted to be done permanently because i thought you might want to reconcile after a while, because we had a good couple of years, and i am not a fookin MIND READER.

did a 3 miler. getting fall like out there. good time of year to cuddle with a female friend hahahahahahaha fook that bullshit.

maybe i should just trip out on acid and mushrooms erry day. well, erry 3 days.

going to see old friend today for first time in a while, he has no idea muh life is ruined. last time i saw him i was still working and talking to female fren hahahahahahahaha.

anyway sometimes he greatly disappoints me with his drinking however sometimes he impresses me with his not drinking. basically he should learn from me and never drink again. besides i could probably start drinking moderately again. he def cannot. and it is very disappointing when he starts drinking around you, because he starts slamming drinks and getting drunk fast and making everyone around him angry and disappointed. but i think he might be in a good phase now. when he is in a good phase, he is all right.

http://www.npr.org/2015/02/02/383335110/economists-say-millennials-should-consider-careers-in-trades

npr does patronizing story about millennials going into the trades rather than college even though npr is for college liberal arts fags who either get masters degrees and work at nonprofits, or phds and and become academics, or work at starbucks or become neets like me, or SJW communist marxist traitors hahahaha

SEX should be PRIVATE, INTIMATE and SACRED (or at least SPECIAL), something you dont talk about, something you do only with Special, Trusted, Intimate People. not a lot of people!


Kristopher Heinekamp • 7 months ago
As a millennial looking to possibly transition into a skilled trade (since teaching has zero job security), I’m a bit cautious
.
One of the difficult things about our modern economy is acknowledging that automation and outsourcing has eliminated a lot of jobs. The media likes to try and mask this problem by harping on these “high growth” fields or some “skills gap” myth (wages aren’t increasing, so there isn’t really a skills gap).
While it SOUNDS GOOD to say that resolving the unemployment of young people by encouraging them to go into these skilled trades, this really isn’t going to solve much of anything. Of course, we have the “shocking” stories now about how the Boomers/Gen X made mistakes by encouraging everyone to go to college, because now there is a surplus of college graduates. It looks like this is exactly what we’re preparing to do with skilled trades. There are just not enough jobs, but admitting that is politically problematic, so what is the response? We push and corral kids back and forth, chasing whatever fleeting glimmer of “jobs” we see. The Millennials are a larger group than the Boomers, and Gen X’ers are still working. After automation and outsourcing, there are not going to be enough jobs. That’s the problem. Pushing Millennials to get MORE education and MORE training is laughable. Once we have that, then we’re STILL turned down for jobs because we don’t have “experience.” I was at a job fair today. “We’re DESPERATE for machinists!” I say I’d be willing to do it if they’re willing to train, and the response is, “Oh…uhh….well, we really are only hiring experienced people.” Must be that SKILLS GAP, eh!?
The concrete numbers are quite startling. I found the number for the state of Wisconsin: http://worknet.wisconsin.gov/w…

Welding is often mentioned (and something I did in High School, and I liked, so what I was considering), but let’s look at what we’re really talking about. For ALL welding related jobs in Wisconsin, we’re talking about an increase of 730 jobs over a TEN YEAR PERIOD. Even assuming each and ever welder in Wisconsin retires (which they won’t), we’re talking about 3,560 jobs available in 2020.
AND, the kicker? The welding training program at my local community college is already at capacity…they aren’t taking anyone else in for now.
Now, JUST for this 2014-2015 year, the University of Wisconsin-Madison has 29,302 undergraduate students. That’s only four years worth of Millennials at ONE college.
Do we seriously think we can transfer all these college-bound students into the skilled trades?
What we’re going to do is exactly what we’ve done with college graduates; force a huge mess of kids into a career path, causing oversaturation, causing increased unemployment. Then, we can have self-righteous articles about how smart we are because these dumb kids made bad decisions.

When it gets REALLY FUN is when we look at ACTUAL JOB OPENINGS: http://worknet.wisconsin.gov/w…

There just aren’t really enough good jobs to go round anymore. Our parents and grandparents spent the last 30 years outsourcing and automating jobs in order to bolster their 401(k)’s, and this is the reality we’re left with. Go ahead, lecture us on how “irresponsible” we were for listening to you all. Tell us about the “high growth” sectors. Tell us about “STEM” jobs. Make sure you do this right after you get that pension and Social Security money. Just don’t – whatever you do – look at the actual numbers.
Let’s go yell at kids on the Madison campus! We can tell them how dumb they are for going to college. Let’s tell them about how hard it was to get a job at the Union factory when you were their age, with that High School diploma. Let’s tell them about a “high-growth” industry like HVAC! Let’s tell them about those 130 new jobs over the next TEN YEARS! Boy, they’re going to feel silly! And we’re going to feel smug! A real win-win!

comment in that npr trades article basically saying its hopeless hahahaha i like this guy

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110414190114AASdfyn

what skilled trade should i do

they recommend electrician or hvac hahaha

http://www.forbes.com/sites/emsi/2013/03/07/americas-skilled-trades-dilemma-shortages-loom-as-most-in-demand-group-of-workers-ages/

something about skills gap but apparently skills gap is bullshit because even vocational skools dont train on these skills? and its impossible to get into an actual on the job training / apprenticeship program?

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