hahahaha yeah its kinda like a parent whose child mysteriously disappears and is probably dead/murdered but they never really know and they never really get over it or move on and they have a “hole in their heart that never heals” and its like a “20 year funeral” etc etc. (watching a ridic true crime / mystery / missing persons show on the “ID” channel and they are talking to the family of the missing girl.)
and then i was wondering what i would say to her if she DID respond to me (.0001% chance) like i begged her to. that if she has guilt slowly chipping away and then contacts me in 6 months hahahaha to apologize.
then what would i say. would i just play it cool? that is one “MOVE” you can do when trying to “win them back” but i dont think i could FAKE it. i would prob just tell the truth, that i was badly heartbroken and we need to have the talks we never had.
and i would still want her, i wouldnt want to be just friends. really these things cant be resolved. you always want something they can never give. there will always be a place in your heart for them. then a hole in your heart that never heals. that is what unrequited luv is: you luv them, they dont luv you, they cant, they never will, yet you will always luv them, so you need to stay away from the m FOREVER.
i mean you eventually get over it. you know you are over it when you find the NEXT unrequited lover hahahaha
yeah it sucks when every single thing with a woman was super one sided. i mean a gurl with have secs and sorta date you for a little while even though they dont have feelings for you. or they just have really weak, fleeting feelings for you, that they only wanted a little secs and a handful of dates then theyre done. they dont really like like you. so really i never had a woman really like like me hahahaha never ever.
when the woman like likes you, she is invested in the relationship, she is willing to date only you and be monogamous, you can turn it into a long term thing, etc. sounds pretty nice, that is what i have been looking for.
anyway i would say welp no one ever INTENDS to hurt anyone else but you are old enough to know that its inevitable. and i can always rekindle shit so that yeah i still want to have a chance, and we need to have the conversations that we never had before, and that was what really hurt me, and talking about all the stuff in the emails, and are you willing to make amends for treating me like garbage, and would you ever be able to have a rel with me, like dating and stuff. there HAS to be a lot of communication now, about rels and feelings sort of shit. the horse is out of the barn. things are totally different now.
thinking about this contingency plan for a .00000001% chance!!!! this is how insane it is.
anyway i was thinking if you have trouble sleeping and always worried about not falling asleep even though you go to bed at a decent time, then use a card or piece of paper or something to block the clock from your view, so you dont know what time it is, but can still hear the alarm when needed of course.
is confusion related to anxiety? absolutely, without a doubt, obviously. anxiety causes confusion, and confusion causes anxiety. duh. no shit sherlock.
i saw a women in the bar that i found attractive, kinda nonsexual, plain jane, and i thought well how the hell would i approach her, and odds are shes married or in a long term rel, and if she’s NOT, then why not? she is certainly old enough to be. she was a little older and of marriage age even for the late marriage age of this era. ie late twenties, this woman was mid to late twenties, when i usually prefer early to mid twenties hahahahaha but im getting fooking older mang. early fookin thirties for gods sakes.
i did not check for a ring, should have. i thought well even a woman like this, who doesnt look like a whore, probably went through a whore period, and would think im weird for getting feelings for women before even having secs with them. secs is just something you do right away.
also i had nothing interesting to say, no conversation. you could desperately grab her and be like please lets have secs and make out and pretend to be muh gurlfran so i can get over this other gurl who just broke muh heart hahahaha also i am old and unemployed and derpressed and the master of failure and have never succeeded at anything and no woman has ever had real actual feelings towards me, please be the first hahahaha. real charming.
and then i saw a milf type there too. (when i go to “THE BAR” it is not to get drunk hahaha. i go to non-seedy Bar Restaurants to play muh social game once or twice a week. get out of the house, mingle with people, its a good thing, anyone would agree.) anyway even the “milf” reminded of the woman in some way.
yeah its woman hating to reduce women to “milfs” and such. but i am becoming more open to the idea of Banging/Casual Secs with Broken, Crazy Single Mothers who still Look Bangable and are Not Obese, but probably have tons of baggage because even in 2015 all Normal Women are Married by age 30, if not 29 or 28! which means she has a history of picking nothing but badboys!
so what do doctors and md’s and phd’s advise professionally for Healing From Horrible Heartbreak? i should buy a 1 dollar book from amazon or read moar articles and link them to you here.
basically want to read something not written by some bullshit female “journalist”. i do enjoy the stuff on loveshack or relshiptalk that are written by Real Working People who are Struggling. those are good too. but how would a PRofessional advise these lost souls?
google broken heart
web md. an md writes about what a phd says in their book.
Maybe one person has expectations the other just can’t fill. yes
Savage also says some people confuse nurturing with intimacy. Cuddling or a backrub, she says, may be caregiving more than intimacy.
Who suffers more, men or women?
“More men commit suicide over a lost relationship than women do,” bla bla bka.
If you don’t need time, maybe you didn’t care that much.”
meh. pretty vanilla article . phds dont mean shit. they are all overeducated journalist wimmin hahahaha.
this one uses a derpression perspective too.
Here’s a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to move on. During the 18 months of my severe depression, my therapist repeated almost every visit: “Go through it. Not around it.”
ok definitely doing that hahahaha.
meh not bad. this is written by the person who does beyondblue.com and i recall finding that site decent a few years ago, i almost bought their book. therese borchard.
dr phil’s advice hahahaha nothing new here but again i trust dr phil phony phd more than some hipster 25 year old NYC/LA female journalist for a website, sociopath who gets over a broken heart in one day and is falling in luv with a new alpha male every week and taking 10 new cox a week after a productive day of writing articles about taking dick and healing broken hearts. fook you whore.
this one mentions GOD but i dont think its in a bad way at all.
Some people (and this may be you) are big time dwellers. They spend hours analyzing every last detail about the relationship. These people always end up getting confused and coming to the wrong conclusion because they cannot look at the situation in a balanced way. They end up either worshipping their ex or hating them for what has happened. Over analysis over a broken relationship only leads to confusion, depression, and massive waste of time.
yep i am a total overanalyzer.
- Did you fail to communicate openly?
oh yeah totally.
i was partially responsible for that but SO WAS SHE. 66 33 hahaha.
Ruminating, or having intrusive thoughts are continuous, uncontrollable, and distressing,  is often a component of grieving. John Bowlby‘s concept of ‘searching for the lost object’ is about the anxiety and mounting frustration as the mourner remains lost, frequently sifting through memories of the departed, and perhaps fleeting perceptions of spectral visitations by the lost individual. When the loss involves ‘being left’ or ‘unrequited love’, in addition to the above, this mental searching is accompanied by obsessive thoughts about factors leading to the breakup, and possibilities for reuniting with the lost individual.
basically i am being very lax about quoting here. everything that sound slike it was quoted was copied and pasted, everything that sounds like me is me.
A broken heart is a major stressor and has been found to precipitate episodes of major depression. In one study, 24% of mourners were depressed at two months, 23% at seven months, 16% at 13 months and 14% at 25 months.
Although there are overlapping symptoms, uncomplicated grief can be distinguished from a full depressive episode. Major depression tends to be more pervasive and is characterized by significant difficulty in experiencing self-validating and positive feelings. Major depression is composed of a recognizable and stable cluster of debilitating symptoms, accompanied by a protracted, enduring low mood. It tends to be persistent and associated with poor work and social functioning, pathological immunological function, and other neurobiological changes, unless treated.
In relationship breakups, mourners may turn their anger about the rejection toward themselves. This can deepen the depression  and cause narcissistic wounding The process of self-attack can range from mild self-doubt to scathing self recrimination which leaves a lasting imprint on individuals’ self-worth, and causes them to doubt their lovability, personality-efficacy, and attachment worthiness going forward.
In severe cases, the depression of a broken heart can create a sustained type of stress that constitutes an emotional trauma which can be severe enough to leave an emotional imprint on individuals’ psychobiological functioning, affecting future choices and responses to rejection, loss, or disconnection. A contributing factor to the trauma-producing event is that ‘being left’ can trigger primal separation fear – the fear of being left with no one to take care of one’s vital needs.
Mourners may also experience the intense stress of helplessness. If they make repeated attempts to compel their loved one to return and are unsuccessful, they will feel helpless and inadequate to the task. Feeling one’s ‘limited capacity’ can produces a fault line in the psyche which renders the person prone to heightened emotional responses within primary relationships.
yeah buddy. wikipedia article is bretty good mang.
there is a neat survey here which i took. they unfort make you do an email address so i used a temporary throwaway address.
We’ve tabulated your survey answers. Read your evaluation in full with recommendations below. You will also receive an extended analysis via email from me, Amelie Chance. It seems you fall into a category called “Emptiness”, a pretty high category of pain. I understand this is an extremely difficult time, but there is still hope for you to feel better – and soon. Below is your initial evaluation that I wanted to share with you. Below that, please find my recommendations for a path to start healing today.
1 – You are suffering from Emptiness. Your mind, body, and heart are basically saying to you, “Hey, what’s the point of any of this without him or her?” The reason it is so painful is that more than loneliness, you are feeling emptiness.
2 – You are experiencing the Reminder Syndrome. You may not be able to get your ex, the break, up and the pain out of your mind for more than a few minutes at a time. There are subconscious triggers of your ex everywhere including songs, smells, objects, and much more.
3 – Negative thoughts – you can’t seem to shake them. Why did this happen (again)? I’m never going to meet anyone. The thought of dating again makes me want to vomit. Don’t worry, you are not alone and there is a simple and powerful method to combat these thoughts.
4 – Loss of a possible soulmate. It seems that you believe that you have lost the person that was the one for you. The one you had been waiting for, the person that made you whole, that made you who you are and wanted to be. I want to tell you that even in this situation, it is possible to heal, to have hope, and to live a vibrant life again.
well this person is a good saleswoman. they are selling a heal muh broken heart product; a package of videos and ebooks and webinars and shit that starts at only 47 dollars hahahaha.
but everything they say sounds good! their sales pitch is super convincing!!!! and i am not easily sold on sales pitches, i think sales is BULLSHIT!
the only thing i dont like other than its not free, is they seem to be saying they can speed up the process. i dont think you can or should, although you certainly like to. but yeah six months of depression seems about par for the course. at least. i would be ok with 6 months, i am predicting 20 months for me hahahaha.
heh spent 7 dollars to buy this damn book from amazon.
but maybe i should have bought this one for 4 dollars instead. ok try that one next after the first one hahaha. yep you know its true luv and true heartbreak when you are buying books from amazon.
soulmate. hahaha. yes i did think she was muh soulmate.
i think most, or at least a large minority, of people, HAVE experience True Heartbreak, and we can all relate when we use the term, and people have been using it, in many languages and many cultures, for thousands of years. it is not a new or unique thing. i daresay it is natural and biological and evolutionary and part of the human condition.
so you can tell any women in the future,
have YOU ever had YOUR heart broken? ever felt heartbreak?
they will probably say yes. all women have had their hearts broken by an alpha male, just as YOU have had your heart borken by women! see! its a way to relate to one another.
then you say YEAH thats the same pain I experienced recently. and how long did it take YOU to get over it? like REALLY get over, not you jumping on a series of dicks to try to distract yourself from the pain, because of course you found out that didnt work? oh it took at least a year to get over him finally. yeah. see. it DOES take a long time, but eventually Time Heals All Wounds. (but dont ya feel a bit stupid abotu taking all those dicks in the meantime. hope you dont still do that.)
then they’ll say well how long did you date this person. becuase they assume that true heartbreak only comes with dating which essential, to them, means FOOKING. these WOMEN are so CRASS.
you were FOOKING a person regularly and then you got FEELINGS. that is what LOVE means to WOMEN. LOVE is just a result or byproduct of Casual Fooking that accidentally turns into something more.
this is a HORRIBLE view of luv.
did i have that god damn book of love by henri nouwen? i thought i had SOMETHING by him. i know for sure i gave away “the art of loving” by erich fromm because i discovered he was a degenerate communist!!! and the art of loving just means being a cuck and letting your partner cheat on u lol.
Remember the two-year rule. It takes two years to learn a new job, two years to get accustomed to a new town, and two years to completely heal a broken heart. If you expect to be completely healed in a day after a three-year relationship, you could be sorely disappointed. Real results are obtainable when realistic expectations are set.
2 years yikes. and this is a woman saying this. of course they also say “after 2 or 3 MONTHS you may want to start dating again” hahahahaha. so just sook and fook and treat the new guys like meat while you are still getting over your old lover hahahaha.
- Think of the bad things that caused the relationship to end rather than the good because it will help you to move on.
yes. things end for a reason. the bad would be her ignoring the FOOK out of me and treating me like a nonperson hahahaha. also she didnt luv me.
of course i dont like huffpo but they got a “psychotherapist” to write an article about luv.
When that love is not reciprocated or sustained, it can be devastatingly sad, like a death. Like a flower that yearns for the sun until it blossoms completely, until every last petal drops, heartbreak leaves you feeling turned inside out. Not having your love reciprocated or being rejected can trigger a grief response that mirrors a depressive episode. Symptoms may include difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, sadness, apathy, hopelessness and sometimes even loss of the will to live.
ehhh i didnt really care for this one, they say that “rebound” relationships are not a bad thing, that “there is no empirical evidence to back that up.”
so go suck and fook a lot of dicks whore hahahaha.
i mean yeah i wouldnt mind some casual secs with young qts right now, but that has only happened once in my life. and then i quickly developed feelings for her, and got my heart broke. not as bad as right now but still bad!
well the FACT of the matter is, we might have not FOOKED all the time which is apparently the most important thing in a rel to Smart Women, but our Relationship was good for 2 years and now it is suddenly gone. when you get accused of being “WEIRD” and “NEEDY” and “CREEPY” and “CLINGY” because you feel in luv and got heartbroken over someone you didnt even FOOK. as if FOOKING is the be all end all of LOVE. this is what the fooking MARXISTS have taught our WOMEN over the past 50 years. believe it. degenerates.
Know the difference between grief and depression. There is often a fine line between the two, and normal heartbreak can sometimes transform into full-blown depression. How to tell the difference? In depression, nothing seems to matter, Piver writes, whereas with sadness, everything does. A telltale sign that depression is setting in is that you ruminate nonstop about the breakup, and ” you cannot stop your mind from tormenting you with very painful thoughts,” Piver says.
uhhhhhh hehehehe definitely its derpression then, according to PIVER hahahaha
but yeah i also wonder about the faceblook unfriending and blocking. usually its the person who GOT REJECTED who does that. the other person just doesnt care, the dumper.
so she was in luv with me and felt i was rejecting her?
but i was begging her to talk to me and she wouldnt!
i mean i was very close to unfriending her, which is a good thing given my position as the One Who Was Rejected, so i didnt see them all the time, only to find out that at that same time she’d unfriended ME. i suppose i will never understand that.
probably overwhelmed at the idea of seeing me and jsut didnt want to deal with me or see me at all.
well how do you deal with it, you communicate, but she was too cowardly to communicate, and would rather Just Be Done, than communicate, and TELL me shes rejecting me hahahaha.