shit. well if im gonna hate women i migth as well go all in and try to get it out of my system. its not liek i am gonna go be violent or abusive. i might have casual sex with a willing woman however and then refuse to date her monogamously hahahahahaha hey its her uterus, im not the one who can get preggers, she can always get an abortion hahahahahaha
god damn. having somethign good and then losing it. we didnt have the entirety of what i wanted, but we did have a good friendship, and it hurts a lot “just” to lose THAT. i cant believe it doesnt hurt her too.
i am not angry at her, well i wasnt till very recently, and she was angry at me.
thats a tough situation, when one person is angry. and the not angry person is begging and supplicating the angry person for mercy. stupid.
what did i do? cheat on her and now im in the “doghouse” and have to beg for mercy?
no, i was a friend who got feelings.
well whats better, when they Allow You to Still Be Graced by their presence even after youve got feelings?
well i argue theres a happy medium of they can say something or respond somehow to the feelings.
but she did respond to the feelings, nonverbally.
fooking women and their nonverbal bullshit. so stupid.
verbalizing shit makes people hate you less.
nonverbalizing it makes them hate you more and causes more hate and grief and drama in the world.
verbalizing is GOOD karma.
nonverbalizing is BAD karma.
very simple. even WOMEN could understand THAT verbalization!!!!!!!!
verbalizing is GOOD karma.
nonverbalizing is BAD karma.
just for good measure.
well i had the good karma and she had the fooking shitty ass karma.
men are good karma.
women are bad karma hahahahaha.
men are dogs, women are cats.
thats why women have all these stupid cats and are obsessed with their god damn EVIL SOCIOPATH cats, because women are evil sociopaths.
GOD FORBID i ever become such an EVIL SOCIOPATH.
shit i EXPECTED this sort of bullshit out of average normal degenerate dumb women but NOT HER. i thought we was different. she WAS different at one time. then she changed.
i changed, she changed.
i changed from liking her to like liking her, she changed from liking me to hating me. i think that was a bit out of proportion. and she changed from good to evil hahahaha.
i did not know this awful person she became.
i never thought she could do something so cold to me. i trusted her and i thought she thought more of me As A Living Human Being than that. Regardless of how Fight Or Flight, or Avoidance oriented she is.
well, i guess that is not irrelevant. you can still care about a person, but treat them like you dont care at all, because of Avoidance????!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
also, when you BLOCK somebody, it means you are ANGRY at them.
but does it?
it can also mean you are AVOIDING them.
i cant even say if shes angry at me or not! all i can say is that she is AVOIDING me!
well i said in all the emails that “my door is always open”. but she prob didnt read these emails. the most beautiful emails ever written, the most beautiful thing ever verbalized from one person to another in all of human history. because women dont like writing, talking, or verbalizing. god damn stupid bitches! how can you hate VERBALIZING!
WHY WOULD YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE CONFUSING AND UNCERTAIN ALL THE TIME?
CONFUSION/AMBIGUITY IS NATURALLY STRESSFUL FOR ALL HUMANS, MEN AND WOMEN!
hehehe might be time for another 2.8 miler. you see why i do those.
but yeah i….. could not be cool enough to do the Pretend Like I Dont Like Her Gambit to try to Win Her Back. that just feels like a bad idea on gut level.
unless i had cooled off to the point where i didnt like her any more.
cuz its terrible to meet them again after a few months, still want them more than ever, all the feelings come back, they might get guilted into having secs with you because, then your hopes get even higher, feels get even higher, but deep down, they are still cold against you and dont have feelings for you at all.
learned that from woman2004 and woman2005a! in both cases i tried to “get back with them” and it of course backfired in just that way.
really dont want to repeat THAT mistake!
and i never did. course i had never been that close to a woman from 2006 to like 2015!
heh. CLOSE TO a woman. a CLOSE CONNECTION.
you can know a woman for 2 years and have less of a connection with her, than guys she met 2 HOURS ago. un fooking believable how gullible and stupid and self destructive women are. its amazing they even exist. maybe they should be locked up like handmaids tale brood mares and have men control their Reproduction, becuase they obviously make the SHITTIEST REPRODUCTIVE DECISIONS!!!!!
like a BABY WITH A GUN.
they are not INTELLIGENT enough to handle the RESPONSIBILITY that they are BORN WITH!
how does THAT happen?
shitty degenerate culture, no father figures, public skools, tv, media, horrible friends, i know i know.
so on some “metrics” i am Getting Better, but in terms of beign OBSESSED with how could she do this, i cant believe this could happen, i am just as bad as ever.
she did this because she is just avoiding the situation, and nothing i can do can make her STOP avoiding the situation. serenity to accept the things i cant control.
and even if i could control her responding to me, i couldnt MAKE her like me.
heh. ok might need to do another 2.8er here, go for the 8.4 day today.
ok did a 2.2 er but will do another 2.8er later.
shit. you cant MAKE somebody stop avoiding you.
i liked her because she was not CRAZY the way so many women are CRAZY.
but then she went and was CRAZY TO ME and me alone.
holy shit i will never luv another person again.
well thats not true, i luv all the poor lazy losers out there.
but loving a woman in that special, long term, monogamous, baby making way?
NEVER AGAIN. MY HEART IS PERMANENTLY BROKEN.
DIED OF A BROKEN HEART it will say on my tombstone. hahahaha. no jk i wont DIE but muh life will never be the same.
but maybe thats GOOD!!!!
well its good in some ways. i GUESS its good to be out of that horrible job envronment. its GOOD to be DISABUSED of the DELUSION that there is a Living Relationship between me and THAT WOMAN.
it is good that i am Exercising moar. i think 8.4 miles a day is gonna be absolutely mandatory.
so lets say you are at planet fatness in the winter fighting for a treadmill between all the fat single mom hambeasts and the fat stinking arabs hahahahaha, and you have to go to the bathroom. or you because you have to walkjog for a full 150 minutes 7 days a week in order to lose 1 pound per month, you just want to go to the bathroom or rest for a few minutes because normally you would break this up, into 3 damn 50 minute sessions.
so is there some way you can save your treadmill for x minutes? would they let you rest for like 15 minutes and then come back? i was under the impression that everybody is fighting for a god damn treadmill after 4 or 5 pm.
anyway. it didnt have to be this way. woman2015 should take fookin NOTES from woman2012, who handled it a SHITLOAD better by writing one god damn email, which gave her untold great karma over woman2015. ONE EMAIL GOES SUCH A LONG WAY. it wasnt even a LONG email. it was like one decent paragraph. I wrote like 100 decent paragraphs in my series of emails to woman2015.
what did woman2012 say? exactly what you would expect: im sorry, i just dont have those feelings for you, youre still a great person, i dont want to hurt you, its been nice knowing you, sorry to let you down. and i responded saying thank you for being honest with me, that is so much better than what MOST WOMEN do, being lying bitches and spineless cowardly chickenshits hahahaha no i didnt say that. but i said thank you for treating me with the respect to give it to me directly.
and that was it. done. i wasnt JUMPING FOR JOY, but i was never super angry or hateful or bitter towards her. she handled it like a damn MAN hahahaha. verbalized it directly and unambiguously. of COURSE most women wouldnt do that. they just dont COMMUNICATE like that! well i wondered about her gender identity anyway, she was kind of mannish. asexual virgin lesbian or potential female to male transsexual hahahaha. not even really kidding. but she still had a nice body and A Kind Face hahahaha. Kind Eyes.
well so did woman2015!!!!!
DONT TRUST KIND EYES.
NEVER TRUST KIND EYES.
Learning some Great Life Lessons thru the Beauty of Intimate Relationships With Women!
It really PAYS OFF to get CLOSE to people hahahaha.
GREAT LIFE LESSONS hahaha.
no i am entering a blatantly angry phase right now. that is fine. no problem mon.
i cant believe that fooking cvnt, i trusted her, i LOVED her!!!!!!!!!! and she broke muh heart mercilessly, and it will remain broken and useless for like a damn year of my life! my precious time!!!!! why have we even evolved the capacity to LOVE??!?!?!
oh wait i know the answer of course. its a K-selected thing in colder climates, to encourage nuclear families, high investment parenting.
but our Culture, since the Rise Of Cultural Marxism, is ecnouraging r-selection over K-selection.
meaning, you have Broods Of Babbys like they do in the Bush and go for QUANTITY over QUALITY. while K selection is QUALITY over QUANTITY.
so have lots of secs, have lots of babbys, or lots of abortionz, whatever you want, if it feels good, do it, short term instant gratification, no consequences, no commitment.
bitcoin poker note: u get krill even if u FOLD immed & never bet! assuming theres rake. about .1 krill for .01 rake. need .40 pot, never happens at .01 table, much more at .02 tho. just sitting at the table gets u krill!!
(krill is the rewards/promotions system for Loyal Playerz like moi. But the trick is, you get barely any krill playing at the .01/.02 table, and WAY more krill playing at the .02/.04 table, because at that higher table, you get way more pots that are .40 and above! which is necessary for a rake, which is then necessary for krill. ANYWAY you dont even have to BET, you can get crap cards and fold them immediately, and if theres a rake, you will get krill!)
now, is krill REALLY important is another question.
ok i gotta go back out there. 2.8 miler ftw.
ok did that. didnt really get woman out of mind. thought about how i would never want anybody but her. that we would make The Perfect Couple. that i really should contact her in like 3 months.
but yeah. i would still have feelings, and she would probably have less feelings, and what happens when one person has less feelings and the other person has blatantly more? they dump you within 2 months.
unless its the woman who has more feelings. then that will continue as long as the man wants.
if the man has more feelings, it will continue as long as the woman wants. which will prob be 1 to 2 months, no more, becuase she will always have a Cast Of Suitors on Deck. makes you feel real special to be Auditioned among a Sea of So Many Applicants!
7.8 miles today. i got cut short a bit.
god damn. women are such fooking BULLSHIT. youre a moron if you DONT hate them!!!!!!!!
well im back to wanting a Harem of 90000 18 year old qts just to have secs with. fook this INTIMACY with WOMEN.
well let me make a point. I believe: THE MORE MONOGAMOUS, THE MORE INTIMATE, because you aren’t SHARING your intimacy with addditional people.
so ideal intimacy is inherently monogamous.
i say this to all the women who want to date 10000000 men and have all their sperm swimming around in their uteral gateway ie Dem Beef Curtainz they gleefully spread for the cameras and for the cox.
fooking PIGS. it used to be a very respectable thing to be a wife and mother. be a virgin gurl who married young and started having babbys young. it didnt mean there was abuse and beatings and raep and shit.
i just want a nice gurl who isnt a fooking disgusting degenerate pig! is that too much to ask!
of course it is hahahaha. and the recent woman was not a degen pig but she STILL treated me like crap. out of character no less. low odds. unbelievable.
so i would prefer a degen pig who treats me GOOD then?
well the crucial factor is that i LUV the woman. and its not likely i would LUV a degen pig. i already did, i thought that was a lesson learned then, that i got my pig screen working.
oh thats another thing.
NEVER TRUST A WOMAN ON THE PILL.
it makes them even MORE crazy, makes them even MORE slutty, lowers their already low sense of screening, makes them have secs with ANYONE. makes them more prone to cheat, makes them hornier, makes them like a “bat with broken radar, bumping into everything and everyone” to quote MUH BOY Varg Vikernes.
I approve of his Traditional Life, Traditional Wife, Traditional Children, Traditional Homeschool and Homesteading Life.
of course i would side with a “Vile Racist Neo Nazi Anti Semite” right?
tbh yes lol heil hitler 1488.
that is bitches idea of verbal communication. everthing is sarcasm, or a stupid joke, or misses the point, or its like youre talking to a wall, or an infant. they cant think in more than 2 sentences. thats why they like texting so much. verbal communication is not something they like or are good at.
and this is how they Build Sexual Relationships and Choose the men who will Father their children and fill up our world with even more degenerate Human Garbage!
what a world!
that was a saying i used a lot on an old blog, but it is more relevant now than ever!
bitches and whores.
put this in the top shelf book, this is a top 10% post hahahaha.
heh. was “supposed” to have some nyquil today but i totally forgot about it. now it is kinda late to take the nyquil cuz i like to take it around 6 or 7 at the latest.
so if texting is verbal communication, why do women like texting so much?
becuase it allows them to bring verbal communication DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL of shitty nonverbal communication. they take the verbal and ruin in and pervert it and make it into ambiguous, confusing nonsense. CHAOS REIGNS. anything to make chaos of out order, when MEN want to make ORDER OUT OF CHAOS.
no wonder men and women are natural enemies!
but Healthy people dont have such an ADVERSARIAL relationship with the opposite gender. its because i was raised with Traditional Gender Roles and Gender Pronouns and not ze, zir, zhe, and xyr.
any 18 year old will know i am not making this bullshit up.
YOU CANT BULLSHIT THE BULLSHITTER!
but i am really not THAT good at bullshitting either. otherwise i could sell myself better to jobs and women and have more success in that department.
i can bullshit OK, SOMETIMES. but not super good, all the time.
some good, some of the time.
goddam bitches can suck mah dick, bitches.
yeah at this point, gotta do 8.4 miles every day.
praying to GOD a little bit just to get her out of my mind. this is ridiculous. this can never happen again. the crux was working together. if we didnt work together
- the tension would have not built to such a point, ie we would have been more likely to communicate, and not gotten so goddam weird and ridiculous with me seeing her every day
- i would be able to keep the job
- i could use the job to distract me, rather than be distracted FROM my job, to the peril of my work performance!!!!!
now i cant even remember the good times anymore, cuz it all ended in such SHIT. its like its two different PEOPLE.
the pain is UNBEARABLE and UNRELENTING and MERCILESS. how can you NOT be changed?
but thank GOD i guess i am doing a little better. it really doesnt feel like it though. thank GOD i have a home.
well she can go have a bunch of bastard trash kids and i will laugh bitterly because she could have know True Love rather than being Fooked like a Cvmdumpster Whore. but if she thinks i am gonna be CAPTAIN SAVE A HO after she’s whored it up for a few years, shes got another thing coming.
so its a red flag of an abuser when a man uses words like “bitches” and “whores” and “sluts”. bla bla bla. i dont really use these words when talking to women unless i am joking. or trying to test them to screen them for sluttiness, to make sure they disapprove of sluttish behavior. you do not want to have a monog longterm rel with a SLUT.
type of woman that give Blowjobs to Guys In Cars.
it is sad to think she might be going down that path. so sad to see a good woman TURN bad. it breaks your heart all over again!
bitches and whores. the ones that arent disgusting whores will break your heart 10 times WORSE. i dont think i oculd get my heart broken by a whore because i would never fall in LUV with a whore again! havent in at LEAST 6 years when i got some feelings for a whore, but i wouldnt quite call it full blown Luv. she continues to pile up the cox even as she gets older, uglier, closer to The Wall. good fookin riddance whore hahahaha.
i can just repeat the same bullshit over and over again, like i cant believe SHE would do this. i thought i KNEW her. i TRUSTED her not to do something so heartless. especially to me. i thought our friendship well it did not entitle me to secs or to romantic luv, but i beleive it DID entitle me to RESPECT and COMMUNICATION and a Seat At The Table To TALK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. OH NO THATS TOO MUCH TO ASK. god damn.
maybe it is. maybe people can do whatever they want.
well then i reserve the right to have Muh Feelings Hurt when somebody HURTS me!!!!!!! shit.