ooooooo you know what, i DESERVE the shitty treatment i got because I was shitty, i was AGGRESSIVE and made her feel UNCOMFORTABLE. i crossed the line and aggressively made her feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and at that point, they dont need to offer any explanation, they are allowed to outright BLOCK you without any communication, becuase you cant handle communication, you use communication as abuse, you aggressively abuse in trying to get communication, you make women Feel Unsafe.
wow. i dont even know what to say to that. didnt i worry about this weeks ago? of course i did.
maybe i made her feel uncomfortable, but UNSAFE? i dont think so. she knows i am not a violent person. shit i have proved i am not a violent person. i havent done anything stupid or violent or abusive towards her, other than make her feel uncomfortable because i was pushing her to hang out and i was getting more and more nervous and emotional. ok FINE that would make a person uncomfortable i admit it.
but my retort to that is, i am ENTITLED to make her a LITTLE uncomfortable because we had something REAL that was in jeopardy. I thought We Were Friends, and that that friendship “entitled” me to communication.
of COURSE me changing my feelings then changed the friendship to…..some kind of limbo, transition, purgatory. THATS WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT!!!!!!
WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO BAD????
i made her feel uncomfortable because i was pushing to talk about something that was affecting our rel; and not talking about it was affecting it (negatively!) too. the best damn response would be to talk about it, not NOT talk about it!
IT DOESNT MATTER what i was trying to talk about, NOTHING justifies you making a woman UNCOMFORTABLE!
see, i think that attitude of treating women as angelic fragile babies is not a good thing to do.
Sometimes you need to BREAK OUT of you COMFORT ZONE, and that is gonna be UNCOMFORTABLE by DEFINITION!!!!!!!
and the type of conversation we needed to have could not NOT be uncomfortable. but having the conversation would not necess Fix The Relationship, but it WOULD fix the ISSUE of, shit is getting weird. WELL HERES WHY.
oh but i wasnt making her feel uncomfortable, i was making her feel UNSAFE.
i call BULLSHIT on that.
well i dont have to have a History Of Violence, to make somebody FEEL unsafe.
BBBBUT WE had enough of a history that she KNEW i was not a violent unsafe person! she trusted me and i trusted her!!!!!!
but i was too AGGRESSIVE. youre not supposed to be this AGGRESSIVE with people!
i dont think i was being TOO aggressive. besides women are not fragile angels who cannot take aggression, they are dirty whores who love being aggressively fooked hahahahaha.
but thats ROLE PLAYING, its not REAL aggression. all these rape fantasies and 50 shades of gray fantasies that all women have, its not a secret desire to actually be raped, its a desire to ROLE PLAY and to Role PLay Submission to an Aggressive Role Player. it means women enjoy PRETEND Aggression, NOT REAL Aggression!!!!!!! I would know that if i ever had a healthy relationship with a woman before, or was Sexually Or Emotionally Mature!!!!
hehehehehe goddam. well EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE me for always getting dumped before the long term rel point!
thats BECAUSE i have red flags and am not MATURE enough for a long term rel! thats WHY they dump me before that point, because they can SEE i cant HANDLE it!!!!!
yeah this would have been a lot better if we didnt work together.
but i cant believe that with the benefit of hindsight, and a bit of time and distance to get a cool head….. she couldnt say omg i treated him horribly and should apologize for the bad karma! because she was the type of person to care about karma and Doing The Right Thing and Treating People with Respect. we TALKED about that sort of stuff, when we were on speaking terms, when we were friends.
im not asking to continue the friendship. the friendship could not possibly continue as is with my More Than Friends Feelings. this changes the nature of the whole rel, and needs to be talked about. i described all this fully in email4 or email3. one if not several of the damn emails that were never read. automatically deleted.
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE. ABUSE IS NEVER OK.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS ABUSE.
well FOOK she emotionally abused ME worse than I emotionally abused her! she gave me Severe Silent Treatment, vs me Pushing To Hang Out once every Two Weeks. that is, i ASKED every two weeks, i wasnt asking ERRY DAY to actually hang out every two weeks! i never ACTUALLY hung out with her even once!
so next time i will be better about communicating via email if the b doesnt want to meet in person.
But Women Just Thing Email Is Weird. Thats one of the Natural Differences between Men and Women!
i call bullshit, because even though there ARE important diffs bw men and women, i dont think Email NEEDS to be one of them!
its communication! i thought women LOVED talking and communication hahaha.
but not that kind. they like talking face to face (hahahahahahah!!!!!) or texting.
well i will also be better with texting as well.
well, women dont like email, because they naturally think its WEIRD.
WOMEN THINK EVERYTHING IS WEIRD.
I especially like this stupid axe commercial where the guy touches his armpit to see if its dry, and the slutty announcer girl is selling the dryness of the product, and then she says why are you touching your armpit, DONT, THATS WEIRD.
when its OBVIOUS why he is touching his armpit, to test the dryness of the shitty product, and any normal person would see that, its NOT weird, it’s NOT ANYTHING.
but this is how emotional, irrational, and INFANTILE women naturally are. thats why they dont like email.
also because it gives the man a chance to write a long, detailed, logical, creepy, weird argument that she cannot respond to.
BBBBUT I thought all these women do masters degrees, so writing 50 page papers, making an argument/thesis, with 50 different sources, should be something they are VERY comfortable with!!!!!
well not all women do masters degrees, so not all women are comfortable with writing 50 page papers.
besides writing a paper is a lot harder than writing an email!
well even if they just go to regular college, women still have to WRITE PAPERS, probably with the longest being 10 to 15 pages.
that would still be a good length for a solid, Its All Over, End Of Relationship, Closure Email!!!!
because you dont need to have beautiful profound A+ college sentences. you just write like you would talk, only hopefully in a more peaceful setting, where the other person isnt aggressively emotionally abusing you, making it impossible to speak freely hahaha. so you just use it to speak freely and honestly and say the things you really want to say, that you want them to know. that might be difficult to say when they are there Emotionally Abusing you hahaha or you are getting Emotional about that. i think email is great BECAUSE you can speak freely, and clearly, and completely.
so THATS why women naturally dislike email hhahahaha. because it minimizes their ability to MANIPULATE and control hahahaha.
i never wanted to manipulate, i just wanted to have an open and honest conversation between two people, a dialogue. well maybe i was trying to manipulate her into having that conversation.
was i wrong to want to have the converstaion? absolutely NOT, if anything SHE was wrong for NOT wanting to have it.
was i wrong for PUSHING her to have the conversation? maybe a teensy bit. but i didnt hurt her even 10% as much as she hurt me!!!!!!!!
noting that she did not hurt me intentionally. that is, if she knew it would hurt me THIS much, she probably would have acted a little better.
who knows. god damn i cant WAIT unti my fookin brain stops thinking about her.
well its PROOF that my luv is real. that i can think about literally nothing else for 2 months hahahaha. this is the type of luv that keeps people togehter for Long Term Rels, Marriages, having Churren, all that bullshit.
anyway to answer my titular question, i didnt do ANYTHING that was this bad, i didnt DESERVE this, i was done wrong, she was the bad guy, not me, the blame is split 60 40 at LEAST with her having the Majority of the Fault hahahahaha.
BECAUSE THATS WHATS IMPORTANT, making sure that THEY are MORE TO BLAME than YOU are hahahaha.
well yes kind of.
i never DENIED my role in things going wrong. i just want to point out that Justice Was Never Served, because I was always treated Unfairly.
never given a FAIR SHAKE essentially.
boo hoo poor baby was never given a FAIR SHAKE!!!!
yes i realize this is a part of life, but i am sick and tired of ALWAYS not getting a fair shake. JUST ONCE I would like things to work out! Other People Make Longterm Rels work in their early and mid twenties!
oh but now youre COMPARING yourself to others! and you cant do that!
its really really hard not to though. i think its kind of NORMAL to do this, to an extent, so you can see if you are On Track or not. or how weird vs how normal you are. then you can either Catch Up…..or fall way way waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy behind like we have hahahahaha.
but yeah i cant BELIEVE how much you have to walkjog just to lose damn weight. like 2 hours a day, EVERY day, 7 days a week, just so you are not a huge fatass and might be able to pull a woman attractive enough to give you an Erection.
so where do all these sexhaving normalfag nonvirgin fatties find the time to walkjog 2 hours a day every day when they are working 50 hours a week?
answer, they dont, cuz they are fat, and they fook other ugly fatties.