uhhhh so i didnt have a RIGHT to anything. i didnt have a RIGHT to be communicated with. relships are so hard and complex and you do one thing wrong and youre out. one strike and youre out. i am patient as fook and give many strikes, too many.
but i wasnt patient enough for her!
but she didnt care if i was patient, BECAUSE SHE WASNT GONNA TALK TO ME ANYWAY!
she didnt want space TEMPORARILY, she wanted space PERMANENTLY!!!!!!
well, at least once she decided (correctly, because MY signals are UNambiguous!) that i liked her, THEN she wanted PERMANENT space. not that she would have SAID that.
welp just lost my whole stack at the table hahahaha some guy right Sucked Me Out hahahaha. well he was betting smart and won on a pair of jacks when i was hoping for SOMETHING. i had AQ unsuited.
these people dont know what LUV IS! I DO! they can have somebody stick their dick in them for 5 years and spend 24 hours a day with them and STILL not know what true luv is!!!!!!!!!!
OCCAMS RAZOR SON. Women dont care about long term consequences because its NOT OBVIOUS. and humans are addicts to short term gratification. humans ALWAYS have trouble with the LONG TERM, even when you BODIES and HORMONES are long term oriented to Get Pregnant. they dont see it like that, they just see it as the Short Term Pleasure of SEx with a Sexy, Fun, Exciting Man.
This is why a Strong Father Figure is so important!
she did not have that, so, thats how that is being expressed.
many gurls express No Strong Father Figure by being a slut. Lesson Learned: they dont HAVE to express it by being a slut. they might NOT be a slut, and just totally mindfook you and devastate you and abandon you.
of course the girls with strong father figures are not going to want a Jobless Futureless Unambitious Loser like me! catch 22.
so finding a Fatherless girl whos a Nonslut is kinda like my ideal woman hahahaha. cuz then theres a chance that she would accept me for being a loser. like female friend did.
guy says communication is the lifeblood of a relationship and bad communication is a common cause for the end of many rels, she sounds immature and petty, dump her
heres a good one from that one: (QUOTE FROM REL TALK . NET SITE above.)
it is from a woman about an uncommunicative man, but it is real close to my situation:
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m 25, my ex-fiancee of 5 years is 28. Long story short, we were in a long-distance relationship in our last year… he asked for a “break” in January to “find himself” (he has anxiety and depression), then 8 months of tortuous “limbo” ensued. Like you, I asked him to be straight up with me. I either got silence, or a vague response such as, “I love you and want to be with your forever but I need to find myself” sort of BS. When I’d ask if I should see other guys, he’d repeat the same thing. It was agonizing. I walked on eggshells for 8 months, all the while trying to make myself sexier, more caring, fun, interesting, etc so that he’d notice during the 3 times I was “allowed” to speak with him. None of that BS mattered…He ultimately dumped me… vaguely… via e-mail. I didn’t realize that it was fully over until he started blocking me on social networking and messaging programs in September.
Like your ex, my ex has the tenancy to “shut down” when things don’t go his way. While you think some of the stories on here may be more extreme than your case, they are not. We all share a common thread-we were all involved with weak and sometimes emotionally selfish individuals. They don’t want to have to see our reaction to the break-up, so they want to avoid that difficult conversation all together. They don’t care about our closure; all they care about is their own suffering. They view us as a “problem” and if they just ignore it, it will “go away” asap… And when we don’t, it really throws them for a loop.
Even after 8 months of being pushed away, I maintained that I wanted to be with my ex until the end– he was stunned by this. It was at that point that it became clear to me that he never intended to make things work when he had initiated the break in January– he had just hoped that by pushing me away, then I would be the one to finally break down and say, “f* you, you’re an a* and I’m done with you!”. That way, he can tell all his friends that he’s the victim– that I left him– rather than him having to admit that he sabotaged the relationship.
To clarify- I don’t necessarily think your ex or my ex are “bad people” (my ex has one of the warmest hearts you’ll ever find), but it does mean that they have some issues that they need to sort out-how our exes cope with stressful situations is not healthy, and we’re better off without them until they get themselves figured out (which could take years).
Please do not fall into the trap that I did. The only way for you to “win” in this scenario is to lay out all the cards on the table– tell him you love him, etc. and that you want to be with him, but since he’s so undecided, you will need to go NC… [UFMLL: NC means No Contact hahahaha] And now it’s up to him to reach out to you. He’ll either come crawling back to you, or he will never speak to you again.
The best thing you can do is accept this as a break-up, and as <email> a better life than your ex ever could. When I got dumped, I got a new haircut, dyed my hair for the first time, began running marathons, and went on lots of “adventures”. Not only did it help keep me busy, but it’s caused me to attract the most incredible men. I once thought that my ex was perfect for me, and that no one could ever compare… But now, I am finding myself with men that are not only emotionally available (unlike my ex), but they treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
Please learn from my mistake- don’t torture yourself in limbo like I did. Go NC and never look back. Good luck!
” (ANOTHER QUOTE)
Silent Treatment is a classic form of emotional abuse and over time it WILL erode your sense of self if you let it. What better way to make someone feel insignificant? Google emotional abuse, passive aggressive and even possibly narcissist
it certainly eroded the FOOK out of muh self esteem thats for sure!
she didnt INTEND to abuse me, i dont think she is An Abuser, but GOD DAMN it HURT(S) LIKE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE: ” “I shut down” is not a good enough excuse if it messes with your head, heart and leaves you in limbo. ”
if she wanted to talk——she would
if she wanted to see you—-she would
if she missed you—–she’d say so (regularly)
if she wanted you to know about her—-she’d let you in (regularly)
if none of that’s goin on——-there’s nothing (not much, at least) there
hehehe best website ever
wow lost another full stack basically, 2 of em total, this has been my Worst Day Of Cards EVER, i have never lost this much in one day. so basically never gonna break even here.
try this instead
ok relshiptalk is a great site but the links are HORRIBLE because they have periods in the URL which brings you to a 404 page. but if you delete and retype the periods only, you find the page still exists….
the ones without periods work fine tho. OR you can copy and paste the links and they work. i think.
men write much more beautiful, emotional, profound, touching, heartfelt emails of closure than women do, who have no idea how to express their emotions or put 2 words together lol.
either copy and paste first link, or use second one hahaha
yeah. good site, i recommend spending some time there. you will probably find a few stories close to yours.
plus what you find is that all women are crazy bitches and all men are reasonable victims of crazy bitches who totally did them wrong! men are always right, women are always wrong hahahaha.
no im kidding, men and women contribute to this site about equally.
basically it all boils down to, dump the b and go no contact and if they really luv u, they will contact you later, but uhhhhhh def dont expecte it cuz it is not likely lol.
ok time for another 2.8 miler, second of the day. ok done.
“Create an agreement to discuss the issue. If now isn’t a good time find a time that works for both of you and commit to it.”
yeah that did not happen at all. it was me clingily begging please can we talk about these things some day im concerned about our relationship and she would say ok yeah of course well talk about it someday.
but she was just trying to avoid it indefinitely, and i was trying to talk about definitely!
so yeah it is good to agree on a specific time. literally. we are going to talk about this on saturday two weeks from now.
another good Rel Forum generally agreeing that Silent Treatment is Bad.
ok glad its not me whos going crazy hahahaha.
“My ex told me if i loved her and was in tune with her i should be able to read her mind. That was a sign for her that we weren’t meant to be.
I am the type that wants to talk it out, get it over, done and out of our system. She would never talk and when she did it was only half of what she was feeling. Since things didn’t ever get dealt with it would come back up and then I was accused of beating a dead horse.
copy and paste or try:
“Girlfriend won’t talk to me about our problems?” https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110624124006AAsSobl&page=1
yeah i think “silent treatment” is a better term than “ghosting”. well i have not talked to her in like 6 weeks; have not seen her in 5.5 weeks, cuz for about 3 days we saw each other but did not talk.
and then there has been nothing from her, however its not truly NO CONTACT because I contacted her 3 times over that time.
last time was email4, which was about 2 weeks and 2 days ago. 16 days hahahaha.
so it really hasnt been NO CONTACT for very long. 16 lousy days. son of a bitch.
but that is a lot longer than some of these clingy weaklings manage.
thinking about going for a THIRD 2.8 miler.
loveshack is really big about no contact.
i dunno i mean i will do no contact from my end now but i would respond totally if she contacted. because i would still want to COMMUNICATE UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
because we did not have “good closure”
because i was begging and begging to talk and communicate and i never got any communication
but doesnt that mean we were fundamentally incompatible and SHOULDNT be together? that it was doomed to failure anyway?
doesnt mean i wouldnt want to give it a shot. besides maybe she LUVS me but just cant COMMUNICATE it hahahahaha. then she coudl SHOW it by wanting to spend time with me. so yeah i do NOT think she is secretly in lub with me but just doesnt know how to show it.
i am clearly the one hurting more to read these goddamn love forums like love shack and relationship talk. these are MAH PEEPZ. they know the PAIN of true luv. pages of real heartbreak, people taking MONTHS and YEARS to get over it, having to use NO CONTACT to get over someone. i am all in favor of no contact and very limited contact. god bless and have mercy on our poor souls. we need it.
we are the ones feeling more pain.
we are the ones who Loved More.
we are the ones who Got Dumped.
Therefore we cannot possibly be the Bad Guy.
well unless we ABUSED the person. but i dont think these people are abusers! much more likely to have experienced some kind of abuse. VICTIMS of abuse!
well it was kinda low level abuse and certainly not intentional, she doesnt know what she’s doing………but that still doesnt make it right. that moves her down to “MAN 1” in law and order speak. it was not premeditated or intentional but its still a CRIME OF THE HEART, where the heart is killed. by her. hahahaha.