how could she do this to me?
either because she had no respect for me, or she didnt know how to deal with it, but probably some combination of both, and since i can never know, lets just say 50 50 on each.
but yeah being DUMPED like this leaves a lot of UNANSWERED QUESTIONS, or at least it feels like it does.
regardless off whether i shot jizz all over her face and up into every orifice and took 900000 pcitures of it all and made pornography of her, it was still A Significant Relationship in my life. Full Stop.
it is amazing that she either does not feel that way, or that she does not have opinions or something to say about the End of it, and that she utterly refuses to communicate them with me.
it doesnt matter if we didnt date, it was still an important relationship than Suddenly Ended. And it ended so suddenly because of her. I BEGGED her to End It Better. but noooooooooooooooooo.
when you have a significant important relationship and it suddenly ends, or ends at all, that ending has repercussions in your life!
it had devastating repercussions for me! what about for her?
i will never know. she will just complain to all her new friends and secs partners what a creepy weird guy i was, how i betrayed her, how she regrets ever meeting such a piece of shit, i am the worst person ever, now fook me please. slurrrrrrrrrrp adn take plenty of pictures of you fooking me and me sooking your coock hahahaha.
but thats her right! theres nothign wrong with that!
but yeah it was one of the most important Actual Relationships I Ever Had with a Woman. so yeah i am hurt now that its over.
It was a halfway decent relationship, that ended in the WORST POSSIBLE WAY.
when you have a decent relationship, you dont expect it to end in such a bad way. i mean there’s always the possibility that relationships END, but they dont have to end so BADLY.
i can barely take rels ending WELL, so when they end BADLY, its REALLY bad for me.
heck with me, when its GOOD its still bad.
SO, devastation. complete and utter.
also, i had a better relationship with her, than the gurls i actually “dated”. so in other words, by my standards, it was kinda like i dated her, or at least the PAIN would be more intense than with the girls i dated. and the pain was pretty damn intense there!
but here it is crippling, blinding, devastating.
completely disorienting, confusing, harrowing, turns the world upside down.
it shouldnt be happening but it is. like reality slipping away from under your feet. nothing is real. only death is real hahahahaha and loss.
and this is kind of like a death. she has chosen to be dead to me, and for me to be dead to her, but we both well know that we are both alive.
this slut alex wilson on the weather channel. wonder how many cox she’s taken. at least 50 im sure. i would like to bang her. very attractive body. but women should not dress like that when they go to WORK, or on TV, and expect to be respected. they wear these Tight Dresses which show EVERY curve of their body. they think it looks Professional but it is fooking INDECENT. and yet i am the hateful and the weird one for saying that.
wawawawawaawaw i thought she was DIFFERENT than other women, but in the end she treated me in the horrible way that i associate with women, they reject you because you are not masculine enough, not sexy enough, too boring. well thats on YOU for being boring! well your male friends dont think youre boring.
ok finished second 2.8 mile walkjog, got my 5.6 miles for the day. probably better to do a full 6 miles eh, but 5.6 aint bad.
i try not to watch pornography because it is DEGENERATE. i try to avoid the damn degenerate. i should back that up by watching less TV.
also Mainstream Journalism and Media and News and Editorials promote Degeneracy.
took some nyquil at about 6 pm. it immediately hit and i was somewhat napping by like 730. going to go to bed now. might be viable alternative to benadryl every 3 days.
i have determined that you should give yourself SIXTEEN HOURS whenever you take something “Drowsy” like benadryl or nyquil. for working stiffs, that means take it near the end of your shift, before you even leave work, and then hopefully it will have worn off by the time you arrive in for the beginning of your shift tomorrow.
for lazy lovelorn losers like us, it means we can turn down our worried minds for sixteen sweet hours!
so, a good relationship, that ended in a very bad way. that does not take away the goodness of the relationship, so those first two years werent down the drain. but its unfortunate, because that bad ending is gonna Taint (hahahahaha) everything. i guess it doesnt need to. but she didnt need to end it that way either!
it doesnt matter that she was pulling away from me and i was hanging by a thread for many months. that doesnt give her the right to treat me like that. just because she wanted out doesnt give her the right to treat me like that. she could have ended it better. i was treated unfairly wawawawawawawa hahahahaha.
she just didnt seem like the type of person who would End A Relationship in this way. otherwise i would have told her, when you inevitably lose interest in me and get bored with me and want to End The Relationship, do it With Some Communcation, and NOT with No Communication, hahahahahaha.
well to be fair, not that i need to be, she didnt “get bored with me” as much as she was Correctly Interpreting the Signals I was Sending, and the idea that I Liked Her turned her WAY Off.
because being liked by me is so offensive and horrifying hahahaha
no that is not the correct conclusion to draw. plenty of people including her had no problem being friends with me.
if you can make friends you can make rels too. even though there are important differences, such as Power And Control and using their Bodies as Pornography, hahahahahaha, there are important similarities, such as communication and mutual appreciation, mutual respect. ideally. but not always in real life. plenty of rels there is no mutual respect. how do those rels last for years but i cant get a rel to last more than 2 months?
well i can make a rel last 2 years or more when i dont get feels hahahaha.
but yeah she had communicated with me before on other big things, so i was shocked when she got so cold on me and refused to communicate with me at all about something that was big for both of us.
i will never trust a woman again hahahaha.
you wouldnt trust a dog not to eat a steak, why would you trust a WOMAN not to Destroy A Relationship?
Women Are Natural Born Relationship Destroyers!
it doesnt mean they are pieces of shit or will destroy everything. just the relationships you have with them hahahaha.
no thats a pretty big thing. its one thing for you not to leave a steak sitting in front of your dog. how can you NOT leave Your Mutual Relationship sitting out in front of the Woman you’re Sharing It With?
It’s hers too! Hers to destroy!
it makes a lot more sense for a dumb DOG to eat a juicy STEAK without his master actively telling him not to. it makes NO SENSE for a human being to ……
i mean the only conclusions are that Women are Evil, or Women are Not Human!
i dont like these conclusions!
no, its not ALL WOMEN, just one woman!
but that was so out of character for her!
but was it? yeah she would have Tried Moar if she had feelings for me, then she would have been contacting ME saying Please Respond, Please Communicate.
I don’t KNOW how she acted in previous situations where her Platonic Male Friends fell in luv with her. It’s possible this was the first time this happened to her and she totally froze up. I mean she WAS way less “experienced” than the average woman, who has Platonic Male Friends falling in luv with her every day, cuz she’s so GREAT.
well i liked this gurl because she didnt really seem to have many friends at ALL, no cadre of beta orbiters, not super social, did not want to go to bars or clubs or parties. which is a great quality in a woman hahahahaha because the more of those they go to, the more men they fook, the more pathetic beta orbiters they have, the more SOCIAL DRAMA they have.
she had her family and a very small number of friends and i LIKED that, a woman without 100000000 friends. a woman with less friends will have taken less cox and will take her relationships more seriously. maybe. until she throws them away like they were nothing hahahaa.
i mean these Social Women make friends and lose friends every damn week, every damn day. people revolve out, new people revolve in. makes you question the womans loyalty to those old friends. women who have literally new 1000 fb friends are like this. shit i see no reason to have more than 200 or 300 friends. HOW CAN YOU?
but yeah when “friends” are so seasonal and ephemeral, here one minute gone the next, it makes sense how they can be so interested in you for a few weeks or a few months, then its faded, then they’re onto the next shiny thing. it does not make you feel too good about your self though! to be so QUICKLY and COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN.
did a nice 2.8 miler in the warm weather, got some sun.