yeah so the could do this to me because they just viewed me as Some Weirdo who is Creeping On Me. At that point, the two year friendship was irrelevant.
but it wasnt irrelevant to ME! I was hoping to appeal to the strength of that friendship to make her…….not change her mind, but at least convince her to treat me like a human being, to respect the real thing we once had!!!
for me, that friendship was relevant, for her it is not. it was dead and gone. maybe it meant something but not enough to make her respect me enough to communicate with me now.
i still cant believe it though hahahaha.
well it should be noted that we have not had an ACTUAL real good time since september last year. ever since then its been ALL in my head.
but i just get angry and butthurt. REALLY. was i REALLY that much of a weirdo? why couldnt you listen to my side of the story? i was acting weird but theres more to the story than that. im not some kind of random weird. we used to get along very well. how can you just turn that off. i know im changing things. but for gods sakes lets talk about that change. noooooooo that would involve talking about your relationships with the people youre in the relationship with, not just fooking tons of guys and having babies with scumbags.
friend of mine has a female friend he has feelings for, but she does not give him enough luv and respect IMHO so i dont appreciate that. of course he is more normie so they have already fooked many times and “been intimate” ie not intimate at all, because he developed feelings for her, and she is not returning those feelings good enough for MY liking.
anyway point is she was having secs with numerous guys including him in an overlapping time period, like a common whore; she got preggers and had a babby and my friend wasnt even sure if he was the father or not; turns out he was not thank god; but the actual father was a deadbeat who didnt care for the woman or the baby; and my friend is caring for the woman and the baby, it is bringing out his Natural Fatherly instinct, and i think its a god damn shame, that he’s not with a woman who actually cares for him, and is willing to have HIS actual babbies.
but she still responds to his texts and they text every day and hang out and im sure still have “fook buddy” secs. BUT end of the day, he will ALWAYS care for her markedly more than she cares for him, and for that reason i think he needs to dump her and find a woman who TRULY appreciates and respects him. rather than some B who doesnt even care who she has BABIES with.
well this shows the magnetism young women have. he is like 37 and she is like 22. heh. like me he prefers the younger women. all men prefer younger women.
it is possible to Grow Old with a woman, but you have to START it when she is young. and before her skin starts looking like a Leather Mummy.
it is much easier to get Feelings for a 24 year old woman, than a 34 year old woman. or even a 29 year old woman hahahaha. prove me wrong.
anyway. there are similarities and differences between mine and his situations. his woman still strings him along, leads him on, talks to him and responds to him and lets him hang out with her. my female former friend just wants to shun me entirely because I Make Her Feel Weird.
and the instant you start making them feel weird, they treat you like a subhuman not worthy of human decency. they handle it like literally a 5 year old child. an emotional cripple.
and i thought I was an emotional cripple who couldnt handle my emotions!
but i think its way more mature to want to talk about problems, rather than sweep them under the rug and pretend the problems, and finally the person, doesnt even exist!
i was somewhat in the wrong but she was more in the wrong! she would not meet me halfway! shit i was going FURTHER than halfway, i was going 80, 90% over to her side, and she wasnt willing to meet me ON HER SIDE!
there was literally nothing i could do to make her want to communicate. which is the way communication, and people, are. you cant force a person to do somethign they dont really want to do. and she never really wanted to talk to me. she just wanted to throw me away. god damn.
so i was “weird”! big deal! i wasnt some random weirdo off the street! I was your friend for two years and I was obviously wanting to talk to you! why wouldnt you talk to me to figure out why i was so weird? because i was too weird to talk to. as soon as i got weird, i canceled the whole friendship and didnt deserve respect.
well i disagree! i dont think i canceled the whole friendship even when i got feelings! as i said in email4, that CHANGES the friendship and it might need to end, but its not a hostile disrespectful act, you can’t control where, where or who you get feelings for, and the best way to handle them BEFORE things get too weird is to TALK about it!
i cant fooking believe it. pretty soon it will be “2 Late 2 Apologize” (gay song). but right now she can still apologize.
hehe. reminds me of woman2 and 3. after a while im like, ya know, i just would like an APOLOGY from them for treating me with no respect.
and yet they treated me with more respect than woman2015 did! they at least talked to me and Tried Once to Let Me Down Easy, saying “Im Sorry But I Just Cant Have A Relationship With You, I’m Sorry.” even saying it IN PERSON, having essentially an in person, private, heart to heart talk.
i mourn the closeness. i hadnt been that close to a woman in ten years. i have trouble getting close to my friends. one of my oldest friends is a disappointing drinker who always disappoints me with his drinking, so i get angry at him and dont want to be too close. i have another old friend i would maybe like to get closer too, but there arent really any HARD FEELINGS like there is with this woman. finally i have my young male friend from the job. I felt really close to him, like we were immediately on the same page, and instantly bonded and had a good connection with him. i had a heart to heart conversation with HIM about this woman situation that i really couldnt have had with my other male friends. he is more sensitive and In Touch with his emotions.
this woman isnt in touch with her emotions at all. how can she totally throw away the years we had. at least respect THAT.
if i were a more violent scumbag man, like the men she is more likely to meet later in life, i would be stalking her and beating her and god only knows. i would get physically violent to be treated like this. she is going to get herself fooking K’d if she treats people like this. god damn.
POST SHRINK WRAPUP
well went to the shrink, the LLMSW counselor to be precise, where really i do 80% of the talking for an hour!
like my fears of being A Woman Hater and thats why I deserve treatment like this. i am a woman hating abuser!
now i do read some MRA/MGTOW/Mens Rights stuff and SOME of them are woman haters, but not all of them! NAMRAsALT!
also i am very judgemental towards cheaters. but the shrink and i agreed that disliking cheating did not make you a possessive, controlling, manipulative woman hater.
shrink suggested that an alternative explanation for woman doing this is not an issue of respect vs no respect, but more like her just not knowing what to do, and shutting down. kinda like how i get overwhelmed and just shut down. well her shutting down involves just not knowing how to deal with me at all.
shrink agreed with me that communication is a good, emotionally mature thing to want.
shrink suggested that she thought of me as “That Guy” who she could talk to without fear of judgement and pushing and just a trusted friend, and when i sent signals that my feelings had changed, i stopped being That Guy, because now i was pushing her, now i did want something from her, and she was not able to deal with that.
like she wanted a completely platonic friend. she did not want me to get feelings for her. ok i can understand that. that women greatly appreciate male friends that they can communicate with and talk to without feeling there is an ulterior motive.
and as soon as i got an ulterior motive, she shut down. well to my credit i was trying to make it a not ulterior motive, by talking about it, but she would not have that. i guess at this point her world was crashing down. well its still kind of crashing down.
anyway i had to seek validation that i was not a woman hater, that i did not deserve this treatment, and also think about how it might not be blatant disrespect but just straight up immaturity.
heh well if immaturity helps you keep your job and live life and win hahahaha. i would rather be immature. besides i thought i was immature. i never had a rel last longer than 2 months!
i told the shrink i was more geared toward monogamy and they said that was fine. they agreed with me that the important thing is that the two people in the actual relationship need to agree and be on the same page. like you cant have one person want monogamy, and the other person want nonmonogamy. its really hurtful to the monogamous person.
also we agreed that each of my situations with women were a little different. they werent all the same. they didnt all end because i was a woman hater. each situation and each woman was unique. or they ended at different times for different reasons. well, not necess. they just didnt want a rel with me.
but yeah i guess when u get feelings towards someone it does put pressure on someone, is an added pressure that wasnt there before, but the best thing to do is to talk openly about it.