may 15

oh yeah.

there is a fuzzy faint feeling in head which may be from withdrawal of paxil. it is not debilitating but def distracting. a little bit.

maybe just drank too much coffee.

so we have established that normie is not bad, in fact, normie is good, we want to be normie.

normie does not imply degenerate.

BUT, what DOES imply degenerate, is the SECS which normies HAVE, secs arguably being THE defining FEATURE of being-a-normie.

but since most normies are NOT degen, therefore we can deduce that most of the SECS these normies are having is nondegen.

examples of degen secs:

taking pictures of the secs


open rels

casual secs

notice that most of these degeneracies, the direct causer is women not men

dumping a guy for no good reason

not giving a guy you dumped for no good reason some “severance” fooks to kind of wean him off rather than dropping a bomb on him: we will never have secs again starting RIGHT NOW

dumping a guy because “i dunno it just doesnt feel the same as it did before, i dont get all tingly any more, i dunno”

dumping a guy without giving a good solid effort to fix it first

. ok so. yeah women are more responsible for these degeneracies than men, so you would be stupid to not be “prejudiced” against women. men and women are different, and women are provably more degenerate than men. end of story.

to be fair, they are more gullible or suggestible really, and are very easily led down the path to degeneracy. so, even a not super strong man should have no problem leading them far, far away from that path, and down a good path instead. wish i had known that manny years ago hahahaha.

ongoing travelogue of author getting off medzlol

seem to be sweatier, and even more incoherent, little angier and more confrontational

but the dizziness and faintness is definitely happening, not super fun

also detoxing from “medical herb” as well ooo goody, so that is interacting as well

may 16

i keep forgetting that i am a huge supporter of using psychedelics to cure u of yr derpression and laziness. i would think something natural like muschrooms or dmt would be best, but maybe lsd too would be ok. just never have the privacy and opportunity to do such things. i would recommend 24 hours completely alone and try not to do anything stupid like jump out the window or breathe underwater, some people have accidentally K’d themselves this way while on psychs.

i was reading about terence mckenna and his early life where he said his first love was biology so then he went back to berkeley and completed his degree in 1975 , age 29. now by this time he had already had a very interesting life, traveling all over the world, having gurlfrans, researching his career interests in psychedelics, etc, and by all accounts appeared to be a total neverdepressed normie hahaha and certainly a huge nonvirgin!!!!

so it is hard for us to understand that academic interest in things, natural curiosity, loving knowledge for the sake of knowledge, because we are always so anxiously obsessed with how 2 get a job or how 2 get a gurlfran!!!!!! that we develop no curiosity in why this plant does that, the nature of time, stem interests, math, electricity, etc. we dont give a fook, we just want a qt to cuddle with and a job that pays 15 bucks an hour.

THESE AREN’T ACTUAL INTERESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

being intellectually curious in why such and such compounds rgeact the way they do, or reflecting on what hereclitus said about bla bla is an intellectual interest.

my problem is i was very smart, but lost interest in intellectual interests, due to obsession with “emotional interests” like how 2 get qt gurlfran, and how 2 get 15$ job, and then lostinterest in everything else. therefore i could not use my intellect and could not turn my intellect into a $15 job thru grad skool hahahahahahahahahaha. i bet u know that feel too.

your anger makes you duller and dumber rather than tougher, sharper, and smarter.

so get some mushrooms RIGHT NOW and do them alone lol, theres your magic bullet. that will reconnect you with The Universe or with Your Higher Power like you were when you were a child. and then you can be interested in stuff again, not just superficial things like how to sell yourself to b1tches, how to sell yourself to jobs, how to persuade people to accept you.


cant u just sit in your room by yourself READING and LEARNING and be completely at peace doing that?

fook no then u wouldnt be here hahahaha. that is one of the main things normies do lol besides having secs with their gfs.

always worried about stupid superficial surface bullsh1t like wimmin and jerbs. because u dont got none hahahahaha.

had a weird dream where i was in the sh1ttiest most run down ghetto, and there was a skool advertised as the ticket out of this slum, and the main ticket was being good at MATH (ie stem degree hahaha) and they gave us a test basically saying, if you can’t pass this test, then you BELONG here. and it was the hardest math test ever, like Calc 5 level. i was like damn i still got a LONG ways to go to make 15$ an hour and lift myself out of this slum. I thought it would be a simple 1+1 type arithmetic thing, but there was some intense calculus and god knows what on this test. everyone looked at the test, said wtf, and walked out, because noone knew how to do it. and the person who ran the school would not help you pass the test, just administered the test to show you what an idiot you were who deserved your squalid poverty.

the end hahahaha.