dooo eeeet

recovering autists worry about social skills a lot, and are they getting proper closure, and did the other person really understand what i wanted them to understand, and get all autistic about every social interaction, becuase they know how bad they are at them, and how every interaction is a pitfall, a chance for social failure, because you didn’t read some b1tches mind correctly hahahaha. missing nonverbal cues. what if your a nonverbal autist hahahahaha. no they cant read nonverbal normalfag cues either, it goes without saying.

now i am no autist because then i would be better at math and science and have a good job bc of my good stem degree. but i am prob close to being assburgers, and then had my math and science autistic mind derailed because of my strong emotions and derpression and laziness hahahaha.

when something bad goes on too long, you get “grizzled” or weird from being like scarred or some sheet, and normies pick up on that, get weirded out, and then refuse to give you the jobs or wimmin you are seeking, because you are weird and grizzled and cold and sociopathic hahaha. like the soldier with the 100000 yeard stare because he’s killed too many men, or the sloot with the 1000 cok stare because she’s sucked too manny cox.

you just dont care about anything and seem like a weird nihilist.

and they say this guys weird, he has a huge WALL up, etc.

we don’t HIRE weirdos, we don’t hang OUT with weirdos, we certainly dont DATE weirdos.

so dont be a weirdo hahahaha so how do

was probably signif less weird / more normie when i was working, i talked to people all day like a normie. i guess that was one benefit of the job, but the job was so stressful that i would rather not be working it, and feel like a weirdo. anything to get out of that place for a while. but now i feel weird, like i could never get a job anywhere else, because i would be weird and nervous and awkward during interview. or cold and sociopathic and austistic.

so how do u deal with stress on the job. well, sir, i have a very stressful job, but i am good at just taking the abuse like a sucker, i am a masochist, i just let them call me a n199er and continue to give sh1tty service because i dont know what im doing. i turn my mind off and try to go to my happy place. it also slows down my pace of work and makes me very austistic, weird, derpressed, and tired, but i have pretty much given up on life, so, hire me hahahaha. also i take benzos on the job and smk tons of w erry day when i get out. and jerk off to pornography hahaha cuz i cant pull a real woman, or rather, no real woman as good looking as those filthy young sluts in the j1zz vidyas. definitely cant pull a real woman nearly attractive as  some white trash high skool dropout girl with severe daddy issues.

what do you do when you dont know how to do something? well i know the best answer is to communicate with somebody, but in our company, nobody ever gives you a straight answer and they dont want to help you because youre an idiot and they like making things difficult for us so we can quit, so we do trial and error and try to piece things together ourselves, looking like massive incompetent retards along the way, good answer huh, i’m a good employee, so hire me.

why didn’t u just go to grad skool? because i just didnt like skool and didnt really want to go to grad skool, plus i didnt do good enough to get into grad skool unless it is some stupid online college that you go to to become a manager, like you did sir hahahahahaha. hire me. plus i wanted to work on my people skills and lose muh kissless virginity, those plans went over like a lead balloon, hahahah and i have not made any progress there in 10 years. hire me!

how do you feel abotu teamwork? i think its BS, i throw my so called team under the bus every chance i get, because those faggots dont do their jobs and are not being held accountable, and i am the stupid messenger which says sorry cant help you, have no power to help you, either the thing cant be fixed, or the people who can fix it, have no accountability to fix it soon, cant tell you anything more because i dont know anythign more and neither do they. sound good? hire me!

why did you wear an obviously charity suit you got from the salvation army? the pants dont even match the coat! because i really just dont like working and i was too lazy to go get a better looking suit. and if yr gonna bust my balls abotu the suit, then obv yr not gonna gimme the job lol see ya. suk muh dik faggot.

may 15

note: almost out of muh meds (ssri paroxetine) where i had been taking like….40 mg a day for a long time? now getting down to 0 cuz too lazy to go to a doctor. might be getting more angry and hateful. they talk abotu “ZAPS” with paxil wdrawal but not really getting those, but sometimes get a spinny faint feeling in the head, but nothing too major, and no ZAPPING.  biggest change is in DREAMING. now i have dreams all the time. last night it seemed the entire 10 hours of sleep (also been sleeping “too much”) was one big long dream. nothing too unpleasant either, i was just wandering around in a mall, in las vegas, kind of lost, trying to find the proper exit i needed to get to bla bla street. didnt make sense, but nothing scary happened.

also been feeling more lazy and loserish than usual, less motivation than usual…..if that is possible.