jan 14 2015 wed 1152 am

really could take a nap here. day off. 10 degrees cold, but sunny.

how to become a winner.

yesterday i took a little bit of medical plants. i was able to get ahold of a somewhat decent amount, which i have not done in years, buying my own that is, hahaha. so entering an interesting phase here, great blog fodder. stuff is very strong and high quality and medical grade, and one should not partake in this every single day unless you have a physical medical need like cancer. but for garden variety anger, depression, anxiety, feels, virgin, kissless, beta, coward, then definitely no more than once every OTHER day, and that’s the path i intend to take here. it is for the month of feb essentially. a 30 day plan if you will.

bretty optimistic about it actually.

but did not sleep enough. was partying till like 2 am, and by partying, i mean coming home at 12 am after fun social game i was thankful for, ready to come home, and had shared the medical plant with a colleague there, a good guy i could potentially become Closer Male Frendz with. He was happy and grateful to partake, and I was happy to share with him. good karma, good vibes.

got fairly blazed but not terribly nervous, so that was great. started out consuming 45% of the item which allowed us both to keep our minds. 3 hours later, consumed remaining 55% which sent us over the top, me definitely, and i decided to get the f outta there and go home and listen to music and watch tv. driving was little nerve wracking. don’t think i can recommend that per se. i kept my head in the game by imagining i was a “traffic cop” describing everything i saw to my recorder: signs, other cars, patterns of traffic, keeping a nice buffer between me and the cars ahead and behind, and hoping i was not swerving all over the road like a drunk.

got home at 12 am, watched tv on mute while listening to music on low volume. that is the way to do it. occasionally turned music up at ideal moments.

so i thought about how I wanted to bang this New Gurl at Work, and that seemed the sechsier choice at that moment. Less worries. then i thought, well, why not have an open rel and bang both, hahaha. then i added to my text drafts i will never send with two classic texts:

“wanna have an open friends with benefits thing with me and that new tall [hair color] girl at work”

not to be outdone, and certain this was the medical plant talking partially:

“want to sit on my face and fart all night, & show me why they call u [degenerate nickname] 🙂 of course i will be eating your butt hole as well”

it is good to write those things down. i don’t intend to ever send them but it would be HILARIOUS if i did. considering the ridiculousness of what is being said!!!

was lights out, no tv no music, by 211 am or so. slept till 1025 am or so. 8 hours, not enough for me! was also waking up thirsty, prob the medical that did that. now just neckbearding on internet, thinking about a nap, drinking coffee, eating light breakfast of bagel, writing, listenign to the band of the month jan 2015, a very good contemporary black metal band from a very good country who just gets better. great drummer, great singer, great riffs and ethos, i am very happy i just bought a tshirt from them.

job sucks and i am very glad not to be there now. i just wanna neckbeeard and internet.

intend to enjoy this medical plant every OTHER day for the next 6 weeks or so, if i can make it last that long. might well not. should be a fun phase of relazation and blogging and music. ideally i would enjoy a bit with my female fren and do some hanging out, cuddling, making out, sechs, and freaky degen sechs as well. maybe with that new tall gurl too. she is def my type. wheelhouse.


this might be a good pair of headphones for 10 dollars. earbuds really do suck for appreciating music the way it deserves to be appreciated.

musical note to self, cultes des ghoules, henbane, black metal, some good connections

also, protip for winning: it is VERY satisfying to take the computer into the bathroom whilst you Poop on a day off. and just go through the whole day very slowly not trying to do anything but eat and nap and poop and play on internet and go to bed earlyish and have fun and relax and have fun and not work and not do chores either. just fully enjoy a day off. or at least the first 4 or 5 or 8 hours of it.

not gonna worry about 1000 word limit today, just gonna do one post for the day off, if its 1500 or 2000, oh well. post = day, conceptually, ontologically hahaha. rather than making rather artificial, contrived breaks at 1000 words, make the break at days. SOMETIMES. not all the time.

i often “forget” to take shower on muh day off but i think i am gonna do that next, it’s always a good feeling to take a nice relaxed day off shower as oppposed to a rushed before werk shower.

over muh cold 90% thank GOD.

yep laptop on the crapper is the best thing ever. DO IT. DO EET NOW.

sunny beaitful day, and days getting longer, but its still only 7 degrees outside. NO THX.

ok will take shower, then will start laundry, then maybe nap. or moar internet!!!!!!

ok . mo today is just to record this one day in this one post. 236 pm. almost too late to start nap, but not necessarily!

trimmed side hairs and attempted to trim neck hairs. took nice relaxed shower.  put clothes in laundry. thought about trimming toe and finger nailz but decided to do back to internet, drink coffee, use youtube to mp3 converter to put new bandz on music playerz;

watching mslsd because it is the most ridiculous news network.

i would rather watch fox news than the daily show with jon stewart, which sucks SO MUCH.

kraft reduced fat grated parmesan cheese also sucks. get the non reduced fat always.

heh. i should buy a bag of medical plants maybe TWICE a year.

but again, you should take a day off every other day. do NOT take medical herb every single day unless you want to become a HUGE lazy loser virgin.

my stupid job has ridiculous quality ratings that the compnay essentialyl uses as a tool to ROB over half the employees who are not permanently laid off from receiving a yearly raise. you could be working there 5 years with no raise, making the same as you did on day 1, even though the Cost Of Living and Inflation has gone up like 10% since then.

there is no one there that is remotely happy with their job except maybe the highest ups in the department are more content. but the vast majority of us are unhappy there and want to get out. but we struggle to find better jobs that pay as much. everybody realizes the job is ridiculous and getting ridiculouser. everyone is spread too thin, no-one gets the respect or pay they want, everyone is stressed and too busy, and looking to get out. including me, hahahahaha. but i swore i would get in a year so it helps not hurts muh res. and that i have accomplished. and i am VERY unlikely to get promoted by that deadline of late 2015. never gonne happen. be lucky to get it by late 2017. so i gotta get out of there in other words. not looking good. the fact that i will likely not get a yearly raise because i have failed to reach IMHO ridiculous and unreasonable quality goals, which hinge on tiny little meaningless details, when ask any of my equals and they would say i do an above average job, has sealed the deal for me. the no raise for me, i mean, when i was expecting a yearly raise no question.

try to think of everything in terms of normal bell curves. and so in this case, 50% is perfect average, is actually not bad. pretty good mang.

disregard outliers and try to force the bulk of things towards that normal bell curve.

and then shoot for 51% and you will be fine.

i have heard that walmart spring valley fish oil is actually not horrible.

i hear it is very busy and horrible and stressful at my job right now. nonstop phone calls , new and weird stuff that we don’t even know about, yet have to try to FIX for frustrated callers, when we actually know LESS about  than they do, but we have to literally think a million times faster and clearer and more successfully than they, to fix the weird sh1t that happens, when the end user has used  9000 times longer than we have, yet we are supposed to be the experts who know how to fix the weird sh1t quickly, calmly, and communicate everything to the callers, and follow stupid procedures, write everything down, meet unrealistic quality standards, and take call after call after call for the entire 8 hours or more. yet people are so desperate for a job that pays over 12 dollars an hour, they will gladly take overtime.

so that is muh job haha. now you see why i dont want to go in tomorrow. and why so many people including me want to get out.

it is like cruel and unusual punishment. we constantly get calls on the weirdest off the wall that we do not officially cover, but the callers THINK we do or we should, and we have to struggle and give it our best effort to try to fix sth we’ve never even HEARD of by thinking quickly and searching google, all why trying to pacify the caller and hope they don’t ask for somebody more experienced, because the more experienced person will refuse to take the call and tell us to continue to struggle with it, and to just keep apologizing until the caller agrees to hang up, because we can’t hang up on them.

well, this is a worst case scenario, i don’t get calls like that every day, hahahaha.

but it is very hard to adapt when you never know what kind of weird sh1t you’re gonna get next, that you probably haven’t been prepared for, yet you have to fix it, and the only people you have to help you don’t really want to help you, because they’re too busy.

are all Real World Big Boy Working World jobs really this bad????? I guess they are supposed to be.

hehe. this is precisely why i like to try smoking w33d whenever i have the next day off. to just blow my mind away. and sitting there doing that job all day will blow your mind anyway, and not in a good way. very draining and tiring, yet can be hard to sleep because of nerves, nervous for the weird stuff next day.

so i will try to get good sleep today, and look forward to smoking moar w33d on perhaps saturday night, when i have sunday off and can sleep in and relax.

anyway it helps to ask as many w-questions, both yes and no and open ended questions, and write down the answers to call those questions, but it can be hard to think of those questions in the heat of the moment, and talk about them like you know what you’re tlaking about, when you know less about the product you’re supporting, than the caller who is calling you to fix it. so back 4sswards! and lots of people stress out and can’t handle it and QUIT!!!! not me though! i lasted over a year!!!! because i am tuff LIKE A BOSS!!!!!