jan 7

yeah buddy. yesterday drank full dose of nyquil around 7 pm. laughingly thought it would legit to drink another at 1 am. around 3 am i woke up coughing and hacking and drank another dose, fully prepared to sleep all day on the day off. right now in other words. was super tired last night, was asleep BEFORE 9 pm. and then slept till like 10 am. had some erotic dreams.

big news today is that french cartoonists were killed by terrists in paris. of course it is a shame. but i am interested in what the response will be. regarding there being tons of muslims in paris, and strict gun laws in place already.  if these cartoonists had guns they could have protected themselves, if they weren’t afraid of evil right wing guns.

yep take nap at 1130am, good tiung about nyquil there.

hopefully by time i return to work tomorrow i will feel signif better.

later 553 pm

well i laid down around 1130 and didn’t get up until around 5. ate some dinner. thinking about going to bed at 7pm.

slept pretty soundly. i needed it. i need as much sound good sleep as humanly possible to get over this cold and deal with my increasingly stressful job. they just turned up the heat when i am feel physically and mentally weak. not cool.

found the credit card that i lost. it was in the pocket of a hoodie jacket that i hadn’t worn in weeks because it started getting too cold. oh well. i guess i am kinda glad i didn’t lose it out in the world.

nyquil will make you very tired the next day. huge hangover. that is exactly why i had two doses of nyquil over over a 12 hour period last night, becuase i planned on sleeping all day to conquer the cold. and i did sleep pretty much all day. and go to bed early to try to get 10 hours of sleep before work. btu the thing is, you will wake up and be extremely thirsty from the nyquil, so have a big bottle of water ready to go.

very cold right now, its a news story. single digits, below 0 wind chill, at least we dont get 30 inches of snow like some people.

obviously would like to cuddle with YOU KNOW WHO. not gonna happen. too much to ask. always too much to ask, hahahahahaha. die non cuddlevirgin scum, hahaha.

if you cuddle, you are on the nuke list, hahaha.

die cuddling scum!!!

computer is runnign real slow. check physical memory, it’s up in the 90% used range, less than 100 mb “free”. really need more ram.

find all yer music for free on uloz.to, a czech file sharing site. nice.

fri  jan 9 633

gotta work tomorrow. no easy day today.  ruff. nonstop calls. weird calls. poor sleep. had to drink insane amounts of coffee. finally made it home. no outbursts. but perhaps my performance suffered and i will get fired for giving shoddy service. oh well. life goes on.

still overly thinking about female frend. oh well. so if she rejects me, life goes on.

well i got a full time job and my health and a good family. it doesn’t really matter if i have a woman! wants vs needs.

but then you compare yourself with others, how people your age have all these experiences and many are married with kids and you are still working on your first actual gurlfran hahahaha. or haven’t touched a gurl in years, cuddled in years, made out with a gurl in years, etc.

real r9k feels!!!

but life goes on, just try to survive one day at a time and not get fired from your job, and get plenty of sleep to help with the job.

sat 1 10

made it thru another no easy day. day off tomorrow. brain dead. at least i didn’t snap. female friend doesn’t want to hang out. i don’t really want to hang out with anyone else.  there is a cute gurl at muh job i would like to make muh Backup, so i can take female frend off pedestal. so that means i gotta talk to her and be witty and impressive and charismatic. great. i guess she is technically better looking than female frend too. it would be great to bang her. possibly even date her if she were nice and not degenerate, ie, taken too manny cox.

hehe. sound like a broken record here.

yep i do the bare minimum at muh job and that takes everything out of me. it is impossible to go so far above and beyond that i will ever get promoted. promotions are for the top 1% of performers, and that is not me. i just dont have it in me to work that hard. get tired too easily and turn my phone off too often, so i handle less calls, have less time in calls. f00king call centers. worst working environment ever. who did i kill in a past life to deserve this, haha.

normally i would be laying down to try to fall asleep for another busy day of WORK right now. fook no i don’t socialize during the Work Week!

don’t know if i should contact my female fren again or if that would be “bugging” her. it would definitely be a bit BETA. because i texted her yesterday and she did not respond. b1tch! hahaha.

so ideally i would text this other cute gurl i found. but i am not frens with her. not feeling too frenly after a full day of work. with no hope of promotion hahaha. but i should be grateful i have a job. and i sort of am.

so how to make you not a loser. well let me know and i could get you an interview at my job probably. then its up to you to not seems nervous and autistic in the interview, hahaha. but seriously the interview was super easy. the job itself is super hard. if you can last a year without quitting or getting fired then you will be much less of a loser. but not really feel like it, hahaha. just be exhausted and nervous and angry and never have energy and always want to sleep so you can bang teen 4ss in your dreams, fook being awake!!!!