jan 1 2015

nice now i don’t have to flip overthe year to 2015 for publsh posts.

well happy new year, trying to start it off perfectly.

did not go out on nye at all, just sat inside and did all muh socializing on the internet, but that was pretty good. wrote a long email to an old friend for no good reason, other than he texted me out of the blue, so i responded with that. instead of hanging out with them just open up and type for an hour. more like 2 hours in this case, got carried away.

i advise doing these things as a way of statying in touch with people.

really enjoyed the experience of eating “colorado medicine” much more than errrm breathing it. 100% difffenet, 100% better imho. because no nervousness. aweseome.

wrote long email, wrote sev facebook chats, i actually recommend doing those, doing chats or instant message or gmail chat or facebook chat actually is a slightly different experience than doing emails, believe it or not, because it sets an expectation that the message will be SHORT, so you don’t have to work too hard in other words. take no more than one minute. it is slighty more substantial than a text, which is also can be a beneficial way of communicating. anything to really get you communicating with people is good.

thankfully i did not freak out about my female frend, or write HER a long email! the guy i wrote a long email to is an old friend i see only once every several years haha, and he is successful and normal and happy and well adjusted and married and social not conflicted or a loser hehe, so he can more than take my long emails! also i am not madly in gay love with him or anything. he can handle a long fun email from me.

with female fren, i am better served by short to medium facebook chats, i think.

i went onto google chat and added like 5 people to chat. invite to chat. i don’t think that works so good for peoplw without a gmail email, but i’m not sure. so i sent it to 5 people i wouldn’t hate chatting with sometimes. 2015 is the year of the CHAT apparently,hahaha. so i’m just gonna go with the flow and follow my higher power and spirt guide.

i also wanted to listen to music in the best possible way. what i did was, start at the last song and listen to the album backwards. but it’s hard to digest a fresh album more than 10 minutes at a time. so that’s exactly what i did. listened to no album more than 10 minutes, and skipped the songs if they got boring after a few minutes.

drank a teensy bit of nyquil because i have a cold, and also have had trouble sleeping, mind racing. did not drink full dose of nyquil because didn’t want hangover. got ok sleep, maybe 8 hours, not super restful though. might take nap, why not. doing laundry actually. gotta get something to eat.

ok back. got food, water, took dayquil cuz headache and sick, prepping for a sweet new years day powernap from…..3 to 5 ish? neckbeard internets till then.

gotta listen to more music this year. instead of freaking out before work or during lunch, i will listen to badass music to clear my mind and feel confident and badass.

you don’t even need to listen to music loud. sometimes it is best to listen to music at simply medium, 50% volume.

would like to get a new laptop with much more ram/memory. this laptop has been great past 2 year, no viruses, its just slow and i cant use all the programs i want to at the same time.

shoudl get a little more silver. modern coin mart, provident metals, maybe amagi.

would liek to get a larger tv, but it has to be cheap. cheap and flat screen are they main two things. dont want to spend more than $200 there.

fook just dropped 52 dollars at amagi metals buying 2.715 oz.

,715 oz of 90% us coins; 1 opm metals round; 1 ridiuclous “end the fed” amagi store pimp round. but i really don’t want to spend extra money on these “vanity” type things. its just gonna be mostly “junk” and old faithful private mint rounds like opm, sunshine, maybe JM?

just trying to discover newer polish black metal that sounds and looks good at very first listen. i’m a busy important man and i need to be impressed by music IMMEDIATELY. no wavering or waffling or giving things a chance. one and DONE. one stirke, you’re out. this band “plaga” sounds promising.

suicidial depressive black metal band called “im in a coffin” hahahaha. great name. that is USDSBM. not polish haha. got to find some some polish DSBM which is not too over the top and corny.

still neckbearding away here.

can’t beleive i WERK tomorrow. it’s all an ACT. BE AN ACTOR. or find some guy that does his job real well and then just pretend you’re him. I found such a guy. in my current area i am actually one of the MORE senior people so i get people coming to ME for help, and i am very happy to do it, because i am not totes confident in myself yet, and helping them makes me feel more confident. but i also need role models for myself. I have some other slightly equally senior people near me and i try to take what i can from them, but they are kind of b1tchy women and i want to have my own coolguy style. the women are just fine, nice people, i get along with them, i just can’t do their style. i can learn from their dont give a fook attitude though!@!!!

i spent $22 to order a tshirt direct from a polish black metal band that is definitely worth supporting. i have enjoyed them for a while now but have never financially supported them, and this to me was a fair price, for a tshirt, of an awesome band, where they get all the money directly to do as they please, i get a shirt delivered from poland, win win! the drummer of the band, great drummer, has a paypal like a smart person so i paypaled the money right to him and left him a nice 250 character message saying thanks for the music brah, i want to give you some money.

yep can’t beleive i got to get up and go to WORK again tomorrow.

trying to gargle with a heavy blend of honey, lots of honey, lime juice, and liptons regular tea. not sure its working.

GOT to go to bed early. was thinking of taking half a dose of nyquil and half a dose of dayquil. cuz tomorrow i need to be strong, AND do a damn social thing tomorrow night, get no sleep, and do moar work on saturday, holy fook.

i am a lesbian woman attracted to straight hetero woman, trapped in a small unmasculine man’s body, hahahahaha.

if i don’t have voice tomorrow, not sure what to do. 641. want to get in bed by 7.

oh female frend. well i have actually been good exploring other interests and not bothering her so much. will i see her tomorrow uhhh yes actually i will.  ok so try to get TEN HOURS of sleep, get up at 6 am, go to work, hope i can talk,

my new think is to have the tv on while i go to sleep for one week, then back to off again, then cycle it on and off with intervals of 3 to 7 days.

i have been so manic and mind racing lately, that i need the tv on to kind of drive out other thoughts.

music at a low volume can also do similar. MAYBE. still not sure about that.

ok will take half cup of nyquil, then 1 dayquill pill, package recommends taking 2 dayquil pills, so hope this does not kill muh liver right now hehe.