nov 19 2014 wed 733pm

tomorrow off, going out for fun chill game tonight, thankful for that. it snowed for the first time today, only 1 or 2 inches, and actually it is 10 degrees warmer at 29 degrees, but still not ready for winter, and it is going to be bad, but not as bad as buffalo hahahahahahaha. sucks to live there!

project rein it in with my female fren. if she is in a distant phase, i will not push her. she should be out of it in….. 2 weeks lets give her. i will not even IMPLY the implication of hanging out. she can ask me for an APPOINTMENT, hahahaha.

no but i do really like her and really don’t want to screw this up, and would really like to Date her. She is the momentous Woman 9 after all. long time coming. [later made into woman8, and previous woman8 deleted]

but yeah. just need to stay chill, be cool, be cool. don’t push her, pull back a little, she initiated a text with me the other night so that’s good.

and i do not want to be glomming onto her like a definition textbook beta orbiter clinger creeper, hahaha.

today i started off the day super confident, like a boss, least nervous ive been all week, and was just doing the best job ever, impressing , giving outstanding service, keeping calm, solving problems. but doing that the whole day long is definitely draining.just to get another one immediately. definitely rough. NO EASY JOB.

so i just try to do the best i can and be thankful i have a job hahaha.

but other people have projects . i am starting to get jealous of them! increasingly jealous! why does the management make the rule that you can only do one thing all day and one thing only? jeezum crow i wish i could do one thing half the day then a second thing half the day. all the time is ROUGH. you need BALLS OF STEEL to do this long term. i am thankful for the Character Building, but i’ve learned my lesson and paid my dues and karmic debt………haven’t i? probably not hahahaha.

next day, hanging out, chillaxin, day off

well i think my female fren is more than just distant or cold at the moment, that she may be in a phase of Crippling Depression. so its worse for her than i thought it was. really there is nothing i can do about that.

anyway i know how to deal with people with crippling depression (i think) because i have had it myself, and looking at her, i don’t seem to really have it now, thank god, rather , some minor irritation or grumpiness, or non crippling depression per se. I am just grumpy and pessimistic and hopeless. But I am worrying less!

anyway you don’t tell the person to cheer up or get over it or snap out of it or things could be worse, you tell them, i sympathize with you, i’m here for you, we’ll get through this together, etc.

not really fooking brain surgery.

but when i get crippling depressed i don’t want to hang out with anybody. but i do want to hang out with grills i’m in luv with, whose rejection is often related to my crippling depression!

today it was cold and windy and blowing snow. shoveled some snow, went out and got blasted with snow. no thank u. last night as i was driving home it was blow snow in a white out condition and i could not see 10 feet in front of me. it was the worst night snow driving i have ever seen. i think it was just drifting snow maybe, because they’re only about 2 or 3 inches of snow on the ground.

laundry in dryer. playing on internet. did some shopping. flossed teeth. took shower. shaved neckbeard. trimmed side hairs, practice shaving back of neck. i like to do all my Grooming and Hygiene stuff when i have a day off. on the other days i do the bare minimum, taking shower and brushing teeth, maybe a real fast neckbeard shave.

man. 518pm and i am so tired i could go to bed. starting to get dark of course. i wanted to go for a powerwalk but i can’t move from bed.

still cant move. playing settlers. watching wheel of fortune such a dumb show. yeah i will go to bed now.



monday nov 17

meh. it wouldn’t be TOO bad of karma if i just “forced” female fren to reject me. I can simply say, do you want to go out with me, yes or no, you can tell me no. It might be a bit awkward but it wouldn’t heap any more bad karma on me. negligible to the tons of bad karma i brought on myself doing stupid things when i was young. and not even regarding women! mainly regarding college and career.

i made mistakes with women but nothing too bad considering i was young and stupid. so i wasn’t masculine enough. b1tches just couldn’t understand and appreciate my style of masculinity.

anyway she admitted to being distant recently, and she’s not wrong there. really the best thing i can do now is just chill out and wait until she figures her thing out. i will not wait 2 to 3 years however.

heh. i have always wanted a gurlfran but i have never been able to get that. either i get rejected before physical action, or i get rejected shortly after physical action. it sucks! so what do i learn? uhhh pick better women. be more masculine. don’t waste time.  i think i have learned those lessons pretty well. so what, now i’m still not masculine enough? I am a far cry more masculine from when I LAST got rejected! So thats the best i can ask. progress not perfection, hahahahahahaha.

i had to do unpaid online training for muh job and because it was unpaid, i half-4ssed it and didn’t really read th emodules, and guessed at the questions, and got enough right to pass in in 15 minutes, when they said it would take an hour. hahahaha, suckerz. want me to take the full hour, then pay me.

anyway.i would give her support she is not willing to give me. i would sacrifice and make changes for her,in ways that she would not be willing to do for me. i like her more than she likes me. that old familiar feel, hahahahaha.

but isn’t it unladylike for a woman to request a man to hang out? sure, but 99.99% of women wouldn’t be able to meet that old-skool standard of ladylikeness.

if a gurl really wants a guy, she makes it EASY for him to BANG her. he doesn’t need to think or worry or try at all.

sh1t. i remember a few months ago she was pretty forward about inviting ME to dinner. this was before i was in luv with her. so i went out to dinner with her and hoped she wasn’t secretly in luv with me, and just enjoyed the platonic frenship dinner. now that i’m in luv with her, i can’t get her to hang out with me. heh. maybe i should pretend not to like her again so i am more like i was a few months ago.

why worry about women when i have career and life to worry about? because i have always wanted women but have NEVER been successful with them, that’s why. If I could “just” go out with a woman for like… year, i could accomplish a LOT in Life and Career during that Year.

But for like the past 12 years i have been wanting to Go Out with Grillz and have always struck out.  Thank GOD I can still focus on other things, like keeping my very hard job, but i don’t have much energy for other things, like getting f4ggot masterz degree and advancing my career. i would much rather advance my love life. despite what skools and colleges and media telling you that career is much more important than luv. or sechs.

heh. i was always jelly of those more winner types who could do BOTH, guys who could go out with grills AND advance their careers. got sechs and cuddles on the reg with college QT’s, while building their own resume towards winning. do not need to be mutually exclusive. well until they move across the country for grad skool or career, then they have to break up because their lives are going separate ways. oh well. life goes on, career is god, all for career.

but these people can leverage their winning careers into winning social power and then always be in demand with the ladeez, so they are rarely wanting for sechs at least, even if they can’t find a gr8 m8 because all these women are Career Women, who make horrible wives and mothers.

heh. one of the few gurls i “went out with” where i went out with her for like a month and i thought she was gonna be muh first gurlfran and i was in luv with her, and she was super young at the time, she has graduated college and graduated grad skool and gotten married and gotten divorced in the past 10 years.

and she probably still looks ok, hahahaha. i refuse to look her up though, too middle class for my blood, hahaha. also she’s crazy and has taken 10000000000 cox.

my female fren woman9 has not taken too manny cox, which is one reason why i would not mind dating her. that and she is attractive and nice and we get along very well. but we have been not getting along as well since i fell in luv with her, hehehehe. i just gotta stay cool for the next couple of weeks until we can finally hang out. it is the up in the air ness which is causing great tension to me. i just want to have a fooking APPOINTMENT to hang out already. none of this MAYBE i’ll text you. it’s like fooking “call me maybe.”



nov 16 sunday 934a

got up early to blog, play settlers, watch local news, drink coffee, go to church with mass 30 minutes earlier.

ideally female fren would have texted me before i got out of work yesterday, i would have come home, freshened up, gone over there and been over there by like 7 pm, cuddle with her till 2 am, come home.

but nooooooooooooo.

anyway she can still redeem her strike here. plus we were real friends before i fell in luv with her, so i still like her as a person, i know you’re not supposed to do that with wimmin, hahahahahaha.

also had a dream last night with Girl3, who i was raging in luv with, who i thought was gonna be my first real gurlfran at age 22, but i was young and stupid and naive and beta and she broke muh heart hahaha. in the dream she looked like she had been doing a lot of tanning and her brown hair was dyed blond and she looked sorta bad, but still bangable and not old and fat. and she was talking on and on in middle class, masterz degree, new york times, career woman, cultural marxist, frankfurt school, progressivist, relativist, pseudo intelligent, smartypants talk, which is kind of a turn on for me in gurls believe it or not, although it shouldn’t be!!!!!

she gave me a hug but i still wanted to bang her and it was obvious i would not be able to bang her.

thankfully that dream was short and relatively painless.

Woman 9 is much more working class and doesn’t talk like that and did not go to a prestigious elite university like Girl3.

anyway. like i say. my entire life is a story of Straddling Working Class and Middle Class. Born Working Class, went to a middle class college and had a chance to do a middle class career, but I went astray, and now i’m back to working class again, and finally beginning to appreciate how stupid and gay the middle class is, and how great and awesome the working class is. but not without its problems. like being poisoned into degenerate losers and mouth breathing prole idiot fat slobs, crystal meth, neck tattoos, jail, trailer trash, juggalos, messy homes, “Sticky countertops” [citation needed] hahahaha, single mothers, broken families, drugs, alcohol, mcdonalds, gambling, neocons, first level thinkers at best, being too weak and gullible sheeple to the elites and their degenerate poison. Not me!


took a nice sunday powernap. now watching jeff dunham, he is pretty funny.

if your pants are most comfortable when they are unbuttoned and unzipped, try buying pants that are 2 waist sizes bigger, hehehehe. 2 inches i mean. look at how many inches are in between the flaps of pants when they are unbuttoned and you are laying down breathing in and your big belly is all the way out there.

monday next day

welp things are not looking good. back to 80 20. sh1t even 90 10. i “joked” that my female fren should have texted me and hung out saturday, i would have liked that. she said sorry i was tired. i was tired too but i would have still hung out! so now for sure i am gonna pull the reins in. don’t beg to hang out with someone who doesn’t want to hang out with you. i certainly will not text her tonight!!!!  if she wants to hang out with me, she can make an appointment like a grownup working adult and say let’s hang out on saturday and none of this i’ll text you if i feel like it crap.

also i will hold back from explicitly inviting her to anything this week. she knows i want to hang out. last week i sent her a blatant text asking about it, and then mentioned it in person too. this week i will not, and at most, say, text me if you want to hang out, although i can’t guarantee i’ll be available haw haw haw.

gotta pull it back. the ball is so in her court it’s not even funny, so when i keep making overtures…..that’s not boding well either.  so pull back for 1 week even 2, because the ball is in her court. heh. i think NEXT week i would be ok to invite her again. this is the same sh1t i did with Woman7: ask her to hang out, then say I would ask her again in 2 or 3 weeks not to seem desperate.

and then 2 or 3 years slipped away hahahaha.

but yeah getting rejected never sucks less. it always sucks horribly. you just can get better at dealing with it. you become a better person. but it itself doesn’t get any less sucky.

you want a type of Emotional Comfort that cannot be provided by friends or family, but only by a Hetero Lover, or Gurlfran if you will. You are willing to give that same comfort to them. but they are not willing to give it to you.

When a gurl’s heart gets broken ONCE, she often goes batsh1t cray cray and or becomes a huge slvt. A Man can survive having his heart broken time and time again, TEN TIMES, and he just becomes more and more resilient.

Men are MANY TIMES more emotionally resilient than women. Men can deal with negative emotions many times better than women can. What one thing of can destroy a woman, a man can take time and time and time again.

We always knew men were physically stronger than women, but it bears repeating that men are also many times emotionally stronger than women, too.  They are emotionally stronger than women even moreso than they are physically stronger than women. You think of women being more “in touch” with their emotions than men, but when it comes to actually dealing with and living with and handling their emotions, men are much stronger than women.


nov 15 sat 808pm

ok female fren has till 9 pm to text me. maybe 930 at the very latest but damn will i be p1ssed then.

thats if she even texts at all. hey i can’t complain i knew what i was getting into, and she never promised anything, and i estimated my odds at 35% at best. so really i am ready to just stay in for the night and chill out at home and be thankful for all my comforts. watch tv, read antisemitic websites hahahahahaahahhahaha.

actually i am too tired to do that. wouldn’t mind smoking some W. and to be honest that would be another nice perk of hanging out with my female fren, is that she likes to do that sometimes. not too much. but pretty sure she would do that with moi. and i wouldn’t discourage her!!!!!!!

but i don’t even really feel like doing anything else. not reading, not even reading 4chan. kinda feel like blogging, this is bretty good mang, i’m thankful for it.

i could also eat like 9000 bowls of spicy stir fry beef with noodles. smoke weed and go do that and then poop brains out for my whole sunday off.

that is not the type of thing i could do if i went out to dinner with my female fren.

hmmm. maybe drink another throwback mt dew w real sugar, real good.

bought a small back of “menthol gold” tobacco at the tobacconist. of course i prefer to smoke non menthol but every once in a while i want the luxury of enjoying a menthol for maybe 5% of my cigs. and why not.

sure, working class people smoke menthols. but there aint nothing wrong with working class. it is where i come from. well, upper working class of unions and stuff, the type of thing where they like to call themselves middle class, and unions protecting the middle class though. i call it upper working class though, while lower middle class have like college degrees and careers.

middle middle class have real good careers, and upper middle class would be like doctors and lawyers and VP’s.

upper class are so rich we don’t even need to describe them, we will never meet them. PLutocrats, top 1%, CEO’s, banksters, the ruling class, elites, etc.

if you’re in the working class you will probably never meet one of these. and even the highest of the middle class are not going to meet a lot of them.

if you have be above average intelligence to have a fulltime working class job……… then how is the average person employed fulltime in a working class or above job????

also shaving your own neck is the best thing ever. i am so happy i did it. i should have been doing this for years. yes. you can shave the back of your own neck and it will look great and you will be very happy about it.

920pm. got 10 minutes baby. honestly. i was going to bed at this time last saturday!!! watch she will text me at like 945 or 10 pm or something. when i said that 930 was my cutoff time.

next day

858 am. early to bed, early to rise. by 10 pm last night i was so tired. turned everything off and went promptly to sleep. got up early today and wanted to play on internet, wanted to blog and sh1t.

can’t really complain because female fren did not COMMIT to anything. sneaky eh? i gotta learn how to do that, when it comes to wimmin, hahahahaha.  no i don’t think she is deliberately screwing me, besides, i knew the odds were NOT in my favor to begin with. also she is not likely to be out partying taking d1k, but more likely to be staying at home just tired.

heh she might be at three strikes by now hahaha. but she can clear it if she texts me today and says sorry and even better come hang out on sunday. i can hang out on sunday, just has to be early.

had a weird dream where i got into big trouble at Werk for making an honest mistake where i didn’t realize the consequences. This stems from a message i actually got at werk saying please don’t do this because the consequences could be serious. i said thank you, duly noted, i did not know that, thank you, sorry. and that will hopefully be the end of it. but in the dream, there was a huge meeting with all of my managers and it was like they were telling me i had cancer or something. they said i was a great worker which made this all the more unfair. they didn’t want to have to do this, but i still had majorly screwed up.

they said i was going to be able to keep my job and i said thank god thank god, i swear i was not being negligent or incompetent, i just didn’t know!!!! later i said to a manager, you can garnish my wages to help pay for the damage i cause, and then they said, yeah, yeah. Oh yes, we will be garnishing your wages. Not saying the amount, but in a way that implied they were gonna garnish the HELL out of me for a long time because it was a HUGE amount of money, much larger than I thought. so that kinda backfired on me, i  was hoping only for a small garnish at worst. and why didn’t they tell me during the meeting that they’d be taking a huge chunk of my pay? wtf? should i quit? could they still come after me for the money??

first real stressful work-related dream, hahahaha. in real life it wasn’t that bad. the guy just said it as an fyi. i guess it could blow up into a big thing, but i don’t think it will. i will take the warning to heart though and not make the same mistake again. see, there are so many potential mistakes you can make, that you should never make, and it’s hard to remember them all. no easy job.


nov 15 2014 saturday 709pm

done with day of work. no easy day. never an easy day! but now i am actually getting good or ok at muh job. so i have more confidence. but i still get nervous answering the phone. every. damn. time. so it’s challenging to get over that and think clearly and calmly and act quickly, like i need to do.

muh female fren said she might be able to hang out tonight so i am waiting for her to text me. of course about only 35% chance she actually will, so my expectations are managed. it is 712 and i wish she would text me sooner rather than later because i have had a long day and don’t like going out too late.

went for powerwalk just now, went for powerwalk yesterday, bought a little blinking light to clip to your clothes so you can be seen at night. i went outside and it really wasnt THAT dark and i ended up barely using it. good news is i am powerwalking again, which i need to do ERRY DAY so as not to become a huge fat4ss.

did not take valium yet. i will bring some valium if i go out to visit her and offer her some. ideally will smoke w33d and take valium and just hang out and cuddle and watch tv or movies and make out a little. or get rejected from any sweet cuddle or make out action.

i prepared the perfect text which tells all. i will never send it, but everything i need to say can be said in 5 texts:

” [event] made me realize how  lucky i am to know you [name]. i wouldnt mind trying to become closer friends with you, if you would be willing to try that. it took me a long time to get to this point, but it finally happened. if it could happen to me, maybe it could happen to you too. i have to be honest and let you know soon though. I still think you are a great person! i think i just started to get feelings for you though. like a switch got flipped. thats why i’ve been acting so weird lately. it doesn’t seem like you feel the same way,  but i hope you do at least a little bit, or are open to the possibility. not that i am crazy in love with you, haha! more like a small crush, or like liking. sorry to make things complicated, but i dont want to hide it from you.”

the end.

we had a decent texting session last night of Intimacy Building. Or maybe i’m just sealing my doom in the friendzone. because i’m too much of a faggy niceguy. i don’t even care, a faggy niceguy is what i am. i am just trying to act natural and be myself honestly and fook what the pickup artist faggots say. of course i’m not gonna lie and pretend like i don’t like her! and will try to show that thru the body language when i hang out with her! it’s just getting to the hangout that is taking a while. and we both work like working class stiffs that we are, working class work takes up all of your free time and all of your social life. you don’t have time for a social life.

but at least you’re not a scumbag parasite loser and can hold up your head high and say i am gainfully employed full time in a middle working class job!!!!!!! and i pay taxes!!!!!!

anyway i would prefer scheduling a definite time a few days in advance, rather than this maybe i’ll text you if i get done early stuff. it wouldn’t be so bad if i could hang out during the week at any night. which i could do if i had an easy job and could do it without sleep. but i dont and i cant.

anyway she stays up late but i dont stay up late. if she does want to hang out, she better text me before 9 pm hehehehe.

anyway there is only a 35% chance of me winning here.

but what if i do? i never have been winning with a grill before. will def be interesting blogging material. i will not give away any info about her. of course it will be all about me, as a nevergf who might get their first gf after age 30 hahahahaha. but i don’t want to jinx it.

but yeah i am fully invested in her, it’s gonna take a while to get over her, hahahaha. all the more reason to ACT NOW. ACT ASAP. get it over with. get it out of muh system. unpause the pause button.

i don’t really have any backup grills. i don’t know any other grills. theres a cute gurl at my job but i still like my female fren better, she is more ladylike and probably lower number. and i like her moar.

so if she rejects me, i can go back to liking zero gurls like i did not too long ago. that wasn’t so bad. i mean if i knew a lot of eligible gurls i might like more than zero or one gurls at the same time. when i was 21 and in college i liked THREE gurls at the same time, would have dated any of them, if they hadn’t ALL rejected me, hahahaha. since getting out of college, the number of Eligible Gurls has been reduced by 99.9%. it’s absolutely ridiculous how different college is from the Real World.

but i do prefer the Real World because it’s Real. i sometimes wish it had Moar Gurls though.


nov 13 thursday day off, 810 am.

couldn’t sleep, woke up around 7 am, usually do that, but fall back asleep. today decided i wanted to watch tv news and play on internet while laying in bed and drinking coffee for hours. play on internet, playing settlers, blogging, listen to iron maiden baby.

went to bed at 10 pm. very anxious and chomping at the bit to hang out with female friend. that is the defining feature of muh life in oct and nov 2014. that’s it. that and stupid work.

woman 9 is much diff from woman7 because woman9 actually is my honest friend and we have gotten along well for like 2 years now, and sometimes she honestly does want to hang out with me. also she is much friendlier to me and likes me more, at least as a friend. but of course now i want MOAR, and do not want to be Trapped In Tha Friendzone.

Also she is better about not blowing me off, and sometimes has invited me to do things, and better about responding to texts. and she is not a crazy motivated college student who is too busy studying to hang out, she is just a full time working class prole slob like me.

30 degrees F outside, not super cold compared to WINTER but definitely a big change towards winter.

want to go for good power walk today.

got to get a good scarf, a long one. also got to get a better winter coat. i am BLESSED to be able to afford to put these things on muh credit card.

lets look at 4chan news!

i found a pol type post on r9k. done with 4chan for the day!

testing pastebins embed code.

eh good enough.

i dont know how pastebin gets enough space to keep all these pastes. you could theoretically back up every 4chan thread to pastebin and archive it forever………right???

ok done with 4chan for the day.

more settlers.

man, damn, this is so identifying.

go shopping, make a nice long voice recording, get a reflector vest or somethign so i can powerwalk safely at night.

yep. nice. gotta make cigarettes today though.

ok. just ate some breakfast. dirnk some more coffee, try to work out a morning #2, maybe take shower.

did trim neckbeard slightly. I recommend that when your whole beard is getting longer and longer, like mine is, you can trim the neckbeard less and less, until one day you have a full duck dynasty beard, which of course includes full neckbeard, but the neckbeard itself doesn’t look messy because it is not visible.

but yeah i am blessed because i have good family, place to live, decent health, and gainfully employed bigboy job middle working class full time, which is a BIG step up from where i was one year ago even.

actually it was just about one year ago where the idea of this “new” job arose, and i interviewed for it in november, real easy interview, then started job in december. been there almost one year. although i was laid off for FOUR MONTHS hehehehehe. but now i am back and doing my NOT EASY job like a BOSS.


ok went shopping. went for a nice 40 minute scenic drive beforehand making an ok speaking file. got gas, got a new scarf which i really needed, got a little clip on light i can wear to go powerwalking at night (promises 100+ hours, hehehe) and i even picked up a box of 3 trojan condos. that took a lot of guts and also sneakery to dash in there and grab them. i might never use them but it is better to have them and not use them, that to need them and not have them!!!!!! and if i need to buy more, i know exactly where they are now, hehehehe.

they expire in like 3 years. ever had a condo that expired on you because you haven’t had sechs in that long? hehehehehehehehehehe. guess who has experienced that feel.

if veterans cannot get jobs at starbucks……….there are obviously not enough jobs out there. period. QED.  Proof Positive.

heh. on my day off i spend money impulsively. just went to 7 buck tees and bought a 7 buck tee (actually more like 12 bucks) .

it has a picture of a AR 15 gun with a happy family standing on top of it, mother, father, and children. pro family and pro gun t shirt. right up my alley.

they had a reflective vest at the store but it was 25 bucks. that was too much. i will try this little light and see how it works.



nov 2014 wed 745 pm

night off. day off tomorrow. so this is a time to party. i do often have a social engagement this day, thank GOD, i am BLESSED, but that was canceled today.

being With A Woman would definitely do me some good. Because i’ve wanted it for most of my life and never really succeeded at it. whereas literally everyone i know has some experience being a relationshipfag.

this isn’t a case of those who cares if everyone’s doing it, if everyone was jump[ing off a cliff would you do it. no. this is just a natural part of life, of growing up, of being human chrissakes, and i always felt like i was missing out on it…..because i was! i am!

heh. maybe u should not tell ur Crush u  haven’t come close to going out with a grill for 9 years. she will think that’s weird because it IS..

so i came up with a great life pro tip actually.


or don’t even write them, but just talk them out onto your recorder.

like for example: i woke up one day and had a day off of work. i had a hangout scheduled with my female friend. i also had the next day off. it was perfect timing. I met up with her and we had some small talk and i looked her right in the eye trying to send her the message that i wanted to go out with her. i asked her, so what’s the deal with this boyfriend of yours. she said, oh we’re through, i don’t like him any more. then she smiled at me. i said, not bad, just thought i’d ask because you never mentioend him to me. well we get along real well, i think we would make a great couple, let’s cuddle for a while and see where it takes us, and then she cuddled with me, and after a few minutes of that, we started making out and it was real fun. I was getting all worked up. Uh, don’t mind my throbbing member sweetie, i said. I just think your a qt, that’s what that means. and i wouldn’t need any viagra getting it up to u, because i can get it up just sitting next to you and making out.

then we smoked weed and watched a movie but didn’t pay too much attention to it because we made out the whole time, and eventually had very tender loving sechs. afterwards she asked if i could be her boifran and i said lemme get back to you on that one baybay. then i banged her again and said ok fine i will.

and so on and so forth.

then we went to the forest and walked through it with the nice autumn leaves and held hands and got to know each other better. then i took her out to a nice dinner and then took her home and we smoked weed  and then i ate her butt for 12 hours.


u can go from platonic friends wishing u could somehow get a spark, to being in full blown luv, in only two short months..  but that canbe real hard to switch off once u get it

anyway, the point is, if you get these feels like this, you must act on them sooner rather than later or it will eat your alive. this is your body telling you what to do. just damn LISTEN to it and do what it’s telling you. of course don’t take the woman by force, i shouldn’t even have to say that, looks like the feminists managed to guilt me eh. well fook them. even nevergf weirdos who never had a gurlfran know it’s not good morals to raep grills or to be violent brutes.

come on. i been up since 6 am working like a boss, and i never have an easy day, never an easy minute, never a slow period. it’s just go go go go go go 40 hours a week. no slow periods. real stressful. talking to fooking people ALL DAY. It’s a miracle i’ve been able to do it. grateful for that. great character builder. actually it was all very worth it, just to rise to the challenge and WITHSTAND and i will keep these valuable job skeels with me all muh life. so it is worth it. it’s just the antithesis of fun though.

but yes i am blessed.. i am very blessed because i have a good family, decent financial situation, ok health, a few good friends.

anyway blacks and noncatholic christians always say they are blessed and have a blessed day. i say it half jokingly but also half sincerely because i really am grateful to GOD. definition BLESSED.