oct 30 2014 thurs

day off

ok. gotta cut lawn, prob last time of year yikes. def getting autumnal out there.

then go for 1 hour powerwalk before it gets dark.

then bed by 7pm to get rest for hard day of work tomorrow.

well i am def getting better at muh job. handling things like a boss. figuring stuff out efficiently. being smart. not freaking out when they call in and just interrogating them and getting information dispassionately. but it has not been easy at all.

heh. be good to get this month of stress with woman9 over with already. can’t believe i let that stress happen with woman7 for like 2 or 3 years. NEVER AGAIN.

also going to stop buying candy and soda pop regularly. i feel that is making me pimply, making me generally unhealthy with its HFCS, and rotting muh teeth as well.

I will buy Throwback Mt Dew, but just over the past few weeks I’ve been seeing less and less of it. (real sugar.)

okay. did 1 load of laundry, got a second one in there, cut lawn, getting ready for a 1 hour powerwalk. before it gets dark at 6 pm hahahaha. when daylight savings time kicks in, it will get dark at 5 pm. oh noes.

invest in kazakhstan? cheap labor? no taxes? maybe i should, but isn’t that Textbook Globalization,, which I am against? well, not if it creates American Jobs, I guess, hehehe. Or makes me rich rather than poor.

yuuuup it will suck getting rejected but at least i will be able to get on with muh life sooner. quit my stupid job and move to north dakota, try to survive there for a year, if i don’t, come back home and beg for my old/current stupid job back.

or just pretend to look for a job, mooch off family, give them my savings, get into good shape, and bang 18 year old gurls like crazy.

ok. gotta get luandry, maybe use trimmer to trim stray hairs, go for 1 hour powerwalk, go to bed, quit complaining.

get a stupid silver or fluorescent green vest you can wear whilst powerwalking at night, so you don’t look like a hoodlum prowling around the neighborhood.

if concern about cleaning up hair is keeping you from trimming your beard or side hairs, conquer that concern by knowing that it is EASY to clean up hairs as such: just plug the sink and shave the hairs in the sink, then when you’re done, use a kleenex or paper towel to sweep the hairs out of the sink, and brush them into your cupped hand, and then throw the hair in the trash. if like 10 or even 20% of the hairs fall onto the floor, NO BIG DEAL, you can always vacuum them up later.

which is also why it’s good to have a little vacuum cleaner like a Shark or Dust Buster.

sh1t i lost a paragraph. it was about trimming the side hair using the wahl beard trimmer with the guard on level 3. this worked just nicely and indeed got some hair. not a lot. yet i was too hestitant to go to level 2, because then i would have to trim the whole beard to level 2 as well, and i want to grow a long beard again.

ok. i have this plan to develop An ALGORITHM for doing my job, squeezing it onto one sheet, then distributing it to the other people on my team, and I GUARANTEE that single sheet would be more helpful than ALL the training we have received from above. We receive barely any training, but are just thrown onto the job and expected to swim or sink, and the sinkers are laid off permanently. it is very nerve wracking because you just want to do your job well, but you have nowhere to turn to learn how to do the job well, you just have to kind of figure it out on your own. well i am going to put an end to that by Publishing and Distributing The Most Useful Tips. Some real Meta-Level stuff in there too, not just “read the manual.” read the manual, read the technical papers, read the emails. Emails are a substitute for actual meetings. we don’t have meetings. I would LOVE to have meetings for one f00kin hour a week just to talk to members of my team about Common Things, and seek Guidance and ADvice on How To Handle them, because Handling Them IS our entire job.

Well this might be giving too much away but oh well f00k it.

Woman 7 I used to work with and that was part of the reason I wasted 2 or 3 or 4 years on her, because I wanted one of us to leave the job before I made a Strong Move, because I thought I couldn’t handle continuing to WORK with her after she’d rejected me.

And the thing is, I also Work with Woman 9. I developed Feelz for her about 1 month ago, and in 2 days I am going to act on those feels and give her a blatant push so she can accept or reject me, so i can move on with my life quickly. But I also Work with her! How Am I gonna see her at WORK for like 20 hours a week (YES, I work 40 plus hours a week!!!!!!) after she rejects me without going crazy?!?!?!?! how am i gonna do my job which requires nerves of steel, and furious powers of concentration and Problem Solving?!?!?!?!

I don’t even CARE, it doesn’t MATTER, I’m gonna push ANYWAY.

Any this job is WAY more substantial than my previous job, which was the one I had with Woman 7. I really don’t want to lose my current job because of a Woman! becuase i am making halfway decent Middle Working Class OK Money for the first time in my life!

But I’m gonna push anyway, becuase I am THAT serious about not Wasting Years of Time and Simmering With Years of Regret. I am so determined to never let THAT happen again, that I will take the risk, that the Woman I Work With and have feels for, will reject me,and I will have to continue to see her every day. I’ll deal with the fall out then. As long as I don’t start drinking again I should be good, and I am VERY confident I wouldn’t start drinking again.