october 23 2014 thursday

merry crimmbus loserz. heh.

day off. doind laundry. trying to get closer to my female frand. it doesn’t matter if she rejects me, it ONLY matters that I make a MOVE SOON. period. if i don’t do that, then i will SIMMER and FERMENT with REGRET and that is UNACCEPTABLE. better to act now, get rejected now, and move on now.

yet i am cautiously optimistic i will not get rejected and that is exciting!

but maybe i am making the classic beta niceguy friendzone mistake of misinterpreting her niceness to me as liking. because people can be nice to each other without like liking them.

heh. you are supposed to go thru this phase at age 15 or so, not age 30 plus. well, i went thru it before, but it always resulted in failure, rejection, disappointment, regrets, it never turned out well. the best it turned out in was a stupid 1 month long fantasy pseudo-rel.

i should be focused on my career but nooooooo.

i am ok at my job though, i probably won’t get fired, i panic and freak out 1000000 less than i did in the beginning, i’ve come a LONG way baby, i can’t believe i accomplished that. kinda like i can’t believe i actually managed to graduate college. how did i do that?

well, i had a useless easy degree and i had a bit more energy when i was young, i guess.

trying to enjoy some music, i only get to enjoy music on my day off.

if i said anything bad about my female friend in my autiobiuography that was posted in october, like she’s a nice gril but i just don’t go hnnnggg for her, having sechs with her would be weird, then ignore that, i have moved past that. i have since developed feelz for her and think having sechs with her would not be weird. people can change. even old losers.

we have been texting moar and i have been expressing more of a blatant desire to hang out, which i had not done before, because i wasn’t in like like with her before, and i thought she might be with me, so i didn’t want to lead her on. O THE IRONY. O HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED.

doing laundry at least. slept from like 11pm to 11am, no big surprise there.

anyway i sent her a text out of the blue which i don’t usually do, but a real niceguy thing. then the next day she initiated a text out of the blue, saying nice things to me. it was pretty nice. i don’t get this often, can you tell.

but heck yeah i would give it a GOOD college try with her, I would sign up for at least one year with her!

actually it would not be weird for us to get married and for her to be my WIEF. I could totally see that. She would be a good Weif 4 moi. Welcome to the Adult World. I could get married but I could NOT have kidz for a while. that is just too mindblowing. But I SHOULD have kidz with her before she gets too old.

today have to go for huge powerwalk, have to make cigarettes because i am ALL OUT, have zero prerolled cigs left.

and it is a gorgeous day for october, so i HAVE to take an hourlong powerwalk.

was thinking about getting a short haircut but not sure about that.

i might even beta pussy friendzone niceguy out and send female friend a niceguy text.

later. went out and made a classic 30 min talking file, which i make the best ones when i have the day off.

bought some long sleeve t-shirts on sale for the winter, good.

debating about sending that text to the female frand. i prob will. if she doesn’t like it, she can suck mah d!

was naturally led to the album of the moment by following my feeeeelings. this is the best way for music ot happen. look forward to listening to it. i can’t say what it is because my musical tastes would identify me even more than the damn life story i posted, hehehehe. let’s just say its an album by a bit of a musical bad boy genius type, where he has a cult of personality, love or hate him, and he seems to have right wing and nationalistic political views, and likes guns and whites and gets leftist marxist antifaz panties all in a bunch and they call him racist and fascist. well, those words don’t really mean anything, and it’s good when those losers call you a racist or fascist. thank you for the compliment, you should say to them. i’m glad to be your enemy.

on the agenda: 1 hour powerwalk in beautiful weather, then at least 1 hour of cigarette making.

annnnnd i just sent her the wimpy lovey dovey text. well at least i am making my intentions known, hahahaha.

also trying to do a FULL virus scan on the computer for first time ever.

went for full 66 minute powerwalk. gotta start making cigarets now. i like to go to bed earlier than normal on muh day off, but now i might end up going to bed LATER than usual. damn. i have been pretty busy all day. it has been a packed day. not enough time to play around on the internet as i like.

i drink about one 2 liter of mt dew a week, and 1 box of gobstoppers per week. this might in fact be too much high fructose corn syrup. i was looking for a 2 liter of Real Sugar Soda and could not find at my usual store.