oct 18 2014 saturday night off

hot date night. no hot date hahahaha.

but i sorta sacked up and asked if muh female frand wanted to hang out on sat night. before i would try not to hang out with her too much because i thought she liked me and i didn’t like her like that; but now that i am starting to like her like that, I want to hang out with her more.

also i think she is not happy with her boifrand at all. so we might be able to “HOOK UP” in the near future.

that would be pretty good i think, because she’s a good person and also a fairly pretty and young grill. younger than i deserve, hahahaha. plus we get along well and she’s not a promiscuous wh0re.

so yeah fingers crossed. we are getting closer. prob have The Talk soon.

but yeah she is a nice gurl and i would want to do nice things with her like go to dinner and do nice fun things together and i think she would appreciate that. if not oh well. it doesn’t matter. life goes on. bla bla bla.

this valium doesn’t seem to really DO anything any more. I took an ativan a few weeks ago and i liked that better.

went for 60 minute powerwalk. definitely fall out there. getting cold. not looking fwd to winter. last winter was worst ever and this one will prob be just as bad. driving to work in the snow. jeez o petes. hoping the car starts.

today…had some slow moments on the job. i was grateful for them. also i handled most of my calls like a boss. definitely getting better at the job. although at its best, it is still stressful and not easy and not fun and not chill.

and in your time off you don’t have the energy to improve yourself or become a better person in any way, because you are too tired and exhausted to do anything but sleep and lay down. no time for friends, family, or masterz degree hehehehehe. or even reading and learning. but i have been reading “dumbing us down” pretty regularly. albeit slowly. i do like books about renegade dissident education. anti-school stuff. radically different ways of schooling children. because i always hated school. grade school, high school, college, it all sucked, and now i refuse to get a masters degree because of that.

but the plus side is, i have a full time job, which is better than most people. heck that might make me upper working class right there. i am saving decent amounts of money and even buying some silver.

did i say that i believe nature and nurture are 50 50. like for example, skools and media nurture all amerifats to be degenerate sheep like gatto says. and this can overcome in a child with even good genetic stock.

anyway it would be interesting to HOOK UP with my female frand. we could cuddle and watch tv and movies and go out on dates and take salsa dance and drive around and do fun stuff and i might for the first time in my life have a real gurlfran and become not awkward with sechs. even kissless virgin’s dream, in other words.

of course maybe i shouldn’t get my hopes up. but i do kinda feel like i’m getting closer. and i have never had this, where i became interested in a female frand. i haven’t even had a female frand in years until now because b1tches are dumb and uncool and there’s not many cool ones. they go their way and i go mine.

but if she luvs bad boys i am not sure if i can convert her from that. although being masculine would help.

heh. i blame skool for making me not masculine hahahaha. but there were plenty of masculine boys at school, the ones who played sports. shoulda played sports. i might have still been a loser who hates school, but i would have been masculine enough to pull gurls, hehehehe. even good decent quality dateable gurls still want masculine men. they just want good masculine men rather than thuggish bad degenerate masculine men.

if anything, masculinity is inherently good.

heh. seems ridiculous that i would need to say that. of COURSE masculinity is inherently good! a real man is a good man! honor and morality and ethics and doing the right thing is a big part of being a Real Man!

yep. skool and media/culture are what destroys children of all races and classes. turns them into degenerate lazy losers. john taylor gatto is my new hero. what other books did he write. who did he influence. he’s probably dead now.

well he’s still alive at 78 years old, good for him. heck of a guy. i respect him.

i guess it would make sense to read some john holt as well.

5 hour interview with gatto hehehehe